The Manchu Eagle Murder Caper Mystery (1975) - full transcript

(RAGTIME MUSIC PLAYING)

(COW MOOING)

(GEESE TWITTERING)

(SHEEP BLEATING)

(DOG BARKING)

(TURKEY GOBBLING)

(DUCKS QUACKING)

(CAR APPROACHING)

(CLOCK TICKING)

MAN 1: Looks like he's
ready to crack.

MAN 2: Of course he's
ready to crack.



MAN 1: Yeah, but keep
the pressure up.

Again, Malcolm.

I already told you.

Let's hear it again, Malcolm.

I don't remember.

Would you like
a cigarette, Malcolm?

Now I remember.

I don't smoke.

Could I

have a glass of water?

Got a light?

(SLAP)

Don't you see the No Smoking sign?

No, I didn't see it.



All right, Malcolm.

Go ahead.

It was a day like any other day.

Hey, Chief, I don't see
the No Smoking sign either.

It was a day like

any other day.

Well, go raise the shade.

Okay.

It was a day like any other day.

Let's hear the whole story.

It was a day like any other day.

How did I know it would
end up the way it did?

He was lying there on the floor,

his feet looking like
they could use a walk.

But there was one thing missing.

He wasn't breathing.

The bullet hole in the window
was the first tip-off.

CHIEF: All right.
Did you find it?

And then it was on the skids from there
until he went down for the last pulse beat.

ROY: I don't see it
on any of the walls, Chief.

MALCOLM: He was dead and we both knew it.
CHIEF: Well, keep looking.

But I was the only one
left alive to remember.

It was all a mystery.

What was that, Malcolm?

MALCOLM: And that's
why I got into it.

CHIEF: What was that, Malcolm?

It was a day, like any other day.

No, Malcolm, start
from the beginning.

First, your name.

Malcolm.

Your occupation?

Poultry engineer.

Self-employed.

Now,
tell the story in your very own words.

Chief?

It all began this morning.

ROY: Maybe it's out back.

MALCOLM: There's no way
anyone could predict

that anything like
this could happen in our town.

CHIEF: Well,
it better be, my friend.

'Cause if somebody's stolen
our No Smoking sign...

MALCOLM: I never imagined
that anything like this

could ever happen to me in a

- short seven hours.
- CHIEF: Open the door.

But it did.

It was a morning
like any other day.

A morning like any other morning.

It was just a short seven
hours ago when it all began.

Or was it three years?
I just don't remember anymore.

It just started.
And I was there.

A lousy seven hours to strip
the thin veneer off a town.

A small town.

One hundred and
twenty people, tops.

Maybe that's why it fell on me

to crack open the deadly
riddle of the Manchu eagle.

But 420 minutes ago,
it was all in the cards.

- (ROOSTER CROWING)
- That's when I woke up.

(SNORING)

- I could have been on television.
- Yeah?

Everyone always said I had
a very vivacious personality.

Oh, Ida Mae, You are much more
vivacious than anyone on television,

precious heart.

Oh, I'm really going to have to start my
limbering up exercises in the morning,

as soon as the pain
in my side is better.

Ida Mae, maybe you should get up
and move around the trailer a little.

Are you forgetting what Dr. Simpson said
about being careful after an appendectomy?

Well,
your appendectomy was eight months ago.

So you never take into
consideration my exhaustion.

Now, Dr. Simpson is far, far
too tactful to say anything.

If he knew the hell I have to live
through every day, he'd understand.

But I'll never tell him,

I'll never tell anyone.

The nightmare of our marriage will
never be known outside this trailer.

Ida Mae, believe me, I think you've been
a terrific sport about this whole thing,

and I haven't forgotten
my promise to make it big.

Right now, Ida Mae,
at this very moment,

I'm on the brink of
something that's...

Real big.

Malcolm?

I want to believe in you.

Oh, that's why I didn't want to
tell you till I was absolutely sure.

Because, well, I didn't want you
to think it was just another failure.

Well, Ida Mae,

- you know Easter's coming.
- I know.

They pre-empt all the good shows.

They sell a lot of eggs at Easter.

And I have been experimenting

with several hens to lay colored
eggs you know Ellen, the big leghorn?

Well, we've programmed
her to lay a jumbo triple-A egg

with a scene of
the Resurrection inside.

You can't get a chicken to do that,

where you look inside
the egg and all.

But we've already done it.

Ellen's laid three of
the large eggs already,

but we haven't...

You see, she hasn't got the
Resurrection scene quite right yet.

Jesus keeps coming out
with feathers and a split beak.

Malcolm,
I'm a human being. I have my needs.

I will not live through any more of
you and your ridiculous schemes.

I'm so tired.

(SIGHS DRAMATICALLY)

Maybe you should take
a little nap, huh?

Yes, I think I will

doze off a bit.

(DOG BARKING)

Laverne.

(BOTH CLUCKING)

(BOTH CLUCKING)

Dr. Melon, would
you believe it? They...

Dr. Melon? Dr...

Dr. Melon, wake up.

Please.

Dr. Melon!

Please stay awake.

Roy?

Malcolm at the hatchery,
U.S. 24.

Roy, a speeder just ran over
one of my chickens.

Dr. Melon, would you
please wake up?

Now, Roy...

No, we didn't get the license number.
There were no witnesses.

Now, Roy, you tell
the Chief that you people

have got to start doing
something about this.

Well, it's the fourth hit and
run chicken I've had this month.

Well I... Roy,

I'm telling you that there's a
break-down in law and order and...

Roy, don't hang up on me.

Roy? Roy?

Eye infection clearing up rapidly.

Very good.

Lillian.

Lillian looks sick.

Oh my goodness.
Look at those feathers!

Lillian, are you all right?

Now, let me see the feathers.

Hey, Dr. Melon,
she's beginning to look like a falcon.

I'll tell you what we'd better do.

Give her 20 cc's of corn concentrate
and change the straw. Got that?

Yes. Who's Lillian?

Who is Lillian?

Lillian is a chicken. This chicken.
Our prime test case.

The jumbo six-yolk egg.
Have you forgotten that, too?

I can't remember if
I have or I haven't.

- (BELL JINGLES)
- I'll get it.

(HUMMING)

Psst. Psst.

Oscar.

What are you doing here?

I need a private detective.

Follow me.

What is it, Oscar?

Well, I, uh...

Flyer

that I

- got in the mail.
- Mmm-hmm.

That... That is your flyer,
isn't it?

Of course it's mine.

You don't think I'd send out a
flyer that wasn't mine, do you?

Oscar, I see you're in
some sort of trouble, so

you being my first client,

I'm going to give you
the introductory gift discount

and a warranty good up to
and including 90 days.

Malcolm, are you qualified
to be a private eye? I mean...

Am I qualified?

If I may.

Just step back a little.

I happen to be a recent graduate of the

Famous Detectives School,
Battle Creek, Michigan.

Notice the initials. Signed by the late
former Major General Mark Stanton,

Coast Guard Auxiliary.

Reserve. Retired.

You know, they misspelled your name.
It says "Malcoln".

Yes, I noticed that after I'd
paid for the course, but

they'll be making amends
in a couple of weeks.

Okay, okay. Look, look, look, I'm desperate.
I'll settle for your help.

Anything, Malcolm.

- All right. Have a seat.
- Thank you.

Now, Oscar,

it is necessary that we begin our
relationship with mutual trust and confidence.

So now, if you will just
sit back and relax,

Tell me your problem

in your own words.

Someone is trying to kill me.

Who would want to
kill Oscar Cornell?

(GUNSHOT)

Now do you believe me?
What was that?

There is a perfectly logical
explanation for that.

Probably a prank by some kid.

(SNIFFS)

A small rock thrown
at a very high velocity.

Are you sure?

All right.
I'll double-check for you.

See?

There's no one there.

Well, they tried last night, too.

But who, Oscar?
Who would want to kill you?

I think Big Daddy Jessup
is trying to kill me.

Why would he want to kill you?

He's rich.

He doesn't want me to see
his daughter anymore.

He's threatened me twice already.

Well, why would you want
to see his daughter?

No one in town has ever seen her.

MALCOLM: He's kept her
hidden for years.

I saw her.

But, look, I don't want my
wife to know about any of this.

You understand? Nothing.

I understand.

I mean, sure, I've got
a successful milk route,

but career isn't everything.

Is that one of my chicks?

Yeah, I picked it up outside
while I was waiting for you.

Hope you don't mind.

Oh.

No, of course. In fact,
you can have it if you like.

I recall you mentioning something
about Big Daddy's daughter.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I, uh...

I couldn't believe it, Malcolm,

she was so...

She a looker?

Well, there was something special.

She go all the way?

Malcolm, she understood me
the way no one ever did before

I remember, one time,
she looked at me and she said "Oscar..."

(COW MOOING IN PAIN)

Dr. Melon, come in here quick.

Oscar.

Oscar, can you hear me?

Oscar, can you hear me?

Nod your head,
one for "Yes," two for "No."

Oscar!

- Dr. Melon?
- What is it, Malcolm?

I want you to examine this man.

What seems to be the problem?

I think he's dead.

Well, his heart stopped beating.

Oh, is this his arrow?

No, it came separately.

Well, I don't think we can
rule it out as the cause of death.

Now look, Doctor,

I don't want you to breathe a word of this to anybody.
Do you understand?

- It's top secret.
- Well, you'll have to tell the police.

The police?

Never. If a word of this ever
leaked out, it would ruin my career.

Now, do you understand?

Understand what?

Now, Doctor, go back in the lab,
and don't touch anything.

I knew I'd gotten off on
the wrong foot with this case.

Oscar was killed even before
we could discuss my fee.

But I was going to follow through.

As far as I was concerned,
he was still my client, hot or cold.

As things stood, he was
getting colder by the minute.

That meant I didn't have
much time to find his killer.

Maybe if he'd come to me sooner, this
wouldn't have been the fade-out for him.

His life was a puzzle all right.

But he wouldn't be around
to sort out the pieces,

and there was a lot to sort out,

including Big Daddy Jessup, the
richest man in town, and his daughter

(CHEEPING)

(CHEEPING)

MALCOLM:
He said there was another
attempt on him last night.

I figured there had
to be a connection.

- Roy?
- Yes, Chief.

How're you doing in here?

Nothing in here but
Kleenex and soap.

All right, I want you
to take charge of this.

Put it back in the wagon.

I want you to impound that end table and the lamp.
We can use them in the office.

Check.

What about that television set?

Black and white.

Oh, what are you doing here,
Malcolm?

Oh, just curious, chief.
Saw your car parked outside.

What's going on?

CHIEF: Oh, we're just taking some
evidence down to headquarters.

Roy, I want you to get the camera
and take a few pictures of the victim.

Check.

What is it, Chief?
Murder?

That's for the medical
boys to decide.

But you don't have
any medical boys.

That's what makes the cases
so difficult.

I'm supposed to do
everything. I don't.

- Roy is incompetent.
- Chief.

Who's the victim?

Go see for yourself.

Phew.

I don't get it.

You don't get what, Malcolm?

A goat wearing pajamas.
A nylon stocking around his neck.

Who would want to kill
an animal dressed like that?

It's a prank by some kids.

Who checked into
this room last night?

Well, we haven't gone
into the case that deep,

and, besides, I don't think it's
really that important.

Have you considered that this might be
something more than just a childish prank?

Oh, Roy. Will you stop wasting
those bulbs.

Call the rendering truck. Have them
come out here and pick up this victim.

- Chief.
- Huh?

Don't you think that the
circumstances suggest something

shall we say, a bit...

Unusual?

Malcolm, I know all about the
private detective courses you're taking.

I run a tap on everybody's mail.

And I don't want to see you
get carried away

with any sudden idea
of unorthodox murder.

Chief, can I talk to you as
one investigator to another?

I'm busy testing for prints.

Alright, Chief, now,
listen to this, now.

Suppose the victim
wasn't placed there later.

Suppose the animal checked
into the room with the victim,

and was killed by mistake by
someone who wanted to kill the guest.

Why would anyone want to
come here with a goat?

Possibly to use as a decoy.

That is the funniest idea
I ever heard in my life.

Ever! Now, get out
of the way, will you?

(LAUGHS) Now, do you want
to know what really happened?

Well, it's obvious.

Some kids got in here after the
football game last night over in Oswego.

And they brought their
mascot here with them. See?

Now, they were drinking a
little beer and smoking a little bit,

and, uh, they killed their own
mascot while under the influence.

I think that
the mascot O.D.'ed.

Overdosed?

Did you find needlemarks
on the leg?

No. Couldn't tell.
There's too much hair.

But it's an open and shut case.

Damn, junkies.

What is this country coming to?

- Chief?
- What took you so long?

Somebody must have stole
those yellow forms out of the car.

Oh, damn.

What about the rendering truck?

Billy ain't home. His boy said he
took the truck and went to a barbeque.

Double damn.

Well, we're gonna have to put the
victim up on top of the station wagon,

Dump him off some place
by the side of the road.

All right, Malcolm.

- Huh?
- Get lost.

Good luck to you, Chief.

Roy, get a sheet for the victim.

MALCOLM: I knew it was time for me to make
an official visit to Big Daddy Jessup.

Big Daddy was the most feared
and respected man in town.

He had money and power.

He was cold-blooded and dangerous.

Besides that he was one o my
hatchery's biggest customers.

(DOGS BARKING)

I couldn't be certain,
but the car looked vaguely familiar.

This time I was
asking the questions.

But I wasn't answering.

Not just yet.

I decided to give the grounds
a fast once-over,

which meant I had to
look around for myself.

Hiya, Freddie.

Hello, stupid.

Is your father at home?

(SPITS)

Who wants to see him?

I do.

(SPITS)

You got an appointment?

No.

(SPITS)

Well, then what do you want, jerk?

Well, I was wondering if you
could stop spitting on my shoes.

I'm sorry, meathead.

I was only trying to get
that cockroach in your cuff.

(LAUGHS)

Where's Big Daddy?

We don't need any more eggs, dummy.

Look, Freddie.

Freddie, I'll take it up with
your father, if you don't mind.

You want to see him?

He's out on the back forty.

But it better be important.

You bug my old man, and he'll
put you out of business tomorrow.

You've never really liked me,
have you, Freddie?

I just think you're
an ineffectual clod.

Well, let me give you
a little warning, son.

I don't care whose boy you are,
don't get insulting.

(SPITS)

(LAUGHS)

MALCOLM: I could never
really warm up to Freddie.

I knew he was just
a high-spirited kid,

but he could get to be a real pain.

Pull!

(GUN FIRING)

(LAUGHING)

Come on, there.
One more time.

Come on, Phillip!

All right, now.

- Big Daddy.
- Pull!

Pull, Phillip! Pull!

May I have a few minutes with you?

Pull, Phillip!

(GUN FIRING)
- What do you want, Malcolm?

Well, I realize that I'm here...

Malcolm, I'll pay your bill
when I'm damn good and ready.

- No, it's not the bill...
- Come on, boy. You can do it!

I don't mind waiting
a few weeks more...

Pull!

(GUN FIRING)

- I'm here to discuss this matter with you...
- Malcolm...

I think I know why
you really came to see me.

I received your private eye
flyer in the mail.

I want you to know
that you're hired.

Hired?

To do what?

My daughter, Arlevia.

I think she's been
seeing a man on the sly.

You may have heard that I keep her
sheltered away for her own protection.

She's a very shy,
sensitive, fragile girl.

She's very easily hurt.

I hear you keep her
locked in a barn.

I know. I know,
there's a lot of loose talk about that.

- Is it true?
- Of course.

That's why there's loose talk.

And I want it stopped.

'Cause it's not really a barn.

It's sort of done up
like an apartment.

I keep her there
so she won't stray off.

And for good reason.

I, uh...

I stayed up with her
the last few nights,

'cause she talks in her sleep,

and sure enough,
she revealed that there was someone.

Did she say who it was?

Only his nickname.

Clyde Beatty.

I think I've heard that name
somewhere before.

Find him.

MALCOLM: I wouldn't have
hurried back to the office

if I had known what was
waiting for me.

Jasmine.

Malcolm.

What can I do for you?

I got your private detective
flyer in the mail.

I need your help.

Oscar is gone.

Missing.

I have ways of finding him.

Oh.

Malcolm, you're so kind.
Thank you.

Jasmine,
would you care to sit down?

Jasmine, when did you first
discover that Oscar was missing?

Two days ago. He left on his
milk route and never came back.

Any Idea why?

Oh, yes, but...

Oh, now, Jasmine.

You must put your trust in me.

Everyone in this town thought
we were an ideal couple.

Everyone.

But it just isn't true.

What is the truth, Jasmine?

The truth is we've been
married for 12 years,

and in all that time, he never...

He never once touched me.

He never engaged
in marital relations?

Never.

Would you say, then,
that your marriage wasn't normal?

No. Not according
to everything I've read, no.

Jasmine.

Would you ever consider that Oscar
could be involved with another woman?

Oh, no.

Oscar was always so withdrawn,
so unsure of himself.

You know, a terrible thing happened
to him just before our marriage.

He was dismissed
from veterinary school.

Why was he dismissed?

On his discharge, it just said
that he couldn't stand the smell.

So Oscar had a deep-seated
hatred for animals?

Oh, no. No.

He loved animals.

He was always bringing home
a stray dog,

a stray horse, a stray sheep...

- A goat?
- Everything.

He even wanted to
bring home large birds.

He had this thing
about one particular bird,

the Manchu Eagle.

He said his mother used to tell him
stories about it when he was a child,

to try and put him to sleep.

Hmm. Very interesting
behavioral pattern.

Oscar went to sleep hearing
about this bird every night.

No, every afternoon.

You see,
his mother was a nymphomaniac

and his father was an army deserter,
so she was alone for years,

and naturally, she'd try to put little
Oscar, which is what she called him then,

she'd try to put Little Oscar
to sleep

when her gentlemen callers
would drop by after lunch.

But, of course,
Oscar wasn't really tired,

so she would tell him these bird
stories, and then she drugged him.

Yes. Even years later, when he
found out the truth about his mother

when she was killed by a road gang,
he never gave up on this bird.

I've never heard
of any Manchu Eagle.

It doesn't exist.
There's no such creature. I looked it up.

But for the sake of my marriage to
Oscar, I played along with the idea.

But I wouldn't allow him to bring
any animals or birds into the house.

That's where I drew the line.
I'm very allergic.

Jasmine.

Did you find this attention to
animals put a strain on your marriage?

Oh.

It's so warm in here.

Do you mind if I take off
my jacket?

- I could open a window.
- Oh, no. I might get a summer chill.

Now, what did you do to try to
remedy this marital situation?

Well, I did arrange for him to
go to a sex clinic in St. Louis.

Uh-huh.

So Oscar went
to Masters and Johnson, huh?

No. Barnum and Bailey.
He changed the reservation.

Can I help you, Jasmine?

Why did Oscar go
to Barnum and Bailey?

I'm not sure.

But the letters that he sent
during the six months he was there

spoke of his fondness for creatures

and he hoped that it would open up
his feelings so he could love me more.

What was your relationship
with Oscar after he returned?

Desperate.

Did you consummate your marriage?

Never. I really
can't talk about it.

Isn't it true that you
really hated Oscar?

You hated him and everything
he didn't stand for.

That's not true.

Didn't you once say that
you wished he was dead?

- Oh, no.
- Never?

Well, I did say it once,
but I was just annoyed.

He came back from a milk delivery
and there was cud all over him.

Do you have any insurance on Oscar?

Oh, yes, I do have a hundred
thousand dollar missing persons policy.

- A double indemnity?
- Yes, but the money isn't important.

Will you take my case?

You know I've always been fond
of you and Oscar.

Of course, I'll take the case
and for free.

Unless, of course,
the insurance company pays off,

then I want 65 per cent
of the action.

I'll do anything you say, Malcolm.

Malcolm! I'm a married woman.

MALCOLM: I wasn't sure
what her game was,

but she was certainly
worth watching.

I had to be careful, though.

She seemed sincere,

but the concerned wife act could be just a
way to throw suspicion away from herself.

Be sure and drop by if anything
else happens to come up.

Yeah. Thanks, Bert.

You know, Bert,
I always felt that I could talk to you.

You're the only person in this
town that makes any sense.

Everybody needs somebody.

But this case, Bert,
it's got so many missing pieces.

Caught between the devil
and the deep blue sea.

And that's where I'm at.

You've gotta crawl before you run.

I've got everything riding
on this one, Bert.

You can't put all your eggs
in one basket, Malcolm.

Hello, Winston.

Come here.

Come here, Winston.

Probably one of the greatest
truffle hunters in the territory.

Till he lost interest.

Win some, lose some.

But he's still got a great nose.

Man's best friend.

Bert.

Thanks for the advice.

See you later.

Malcolm.

You lost the battle
but not the war.

MALCOLM: The circle
was getting smaller.

First Oscar, then Jasmine,
now Big Daddy.

I was just into it and
already I had three clients,

one dead and two marked
"bill me later."

It all came down to one thing.

I had to see Big Daddy's daughter.

Come on out and let me
get a look at you.

I know you're in here.

You are kind, but selfish.

You use people around you
for your own purposes

and hope that your success
will fulfill them.

You have dreams unrealized,

but fear that there is little time
left for you to achieve them.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm a private investigator.

But you can call me Malcolm,
if you like.

- Did you bring me a present?
- No.

I'm sorry, I didn't...

Do you know my daddy?

Well, that's one of the things I
wanted to talk to you about. You see...

I'm an accredited investigator
and I've been...

Daddy always brings me
a present in his pocket.

Then I give him a big hug.

You have a vision of yourself
that no one else can understand.

People around you sense your
inner strength, and are jealous of you.

Those closest to you
cannot see your genius.

Are you sure you don't mind
if I ask you a few questions?

About what?

Oscar Cornell.

Look, Arlevia, I must know.

When was the last time
you saw Oscar?

He borrowed Susan and didn't
bring her back two days ago.

Who's Susan?

Daddy gave Susan to me
when she was just a baby kid,

then she grew and grew
and became a smelly old goat.

Did you ever sit in Oscar's lap?

No, but Susan did.

Then Oscar would
bring me books and read to me.

And he told me stories about
the Manchu Eagle.

What did he tell you
about the Manchu eagle?

Just that it was the most beautiful,
loving bird in the whole world.

Did you see it?
Did you actually see the Manchu Eagle?

Did Oscar have one with him?

No, he told me that there's a
world outside this barn, Arlevia.

But Daddy says it's a bad place.

I took a big chance in coming here,

but I took the risk because I
wanted to find out the truth.

I won't tell if you bring me
something next time.

Why was the chain off the door?

Freddie must have taken it off.

Who were you talking to just now?

I was talking to my Daddy,
but he wasn't here, so I had to pretend.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(TAPPING HIS LAP)

Come here, sweetheart.

You have a vision of yourself
that no one else can understand.

People around you sense your inner
strength and they're jealous of you.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, Daddy.

Time was working against me.

I suppose it wasn't really Oscar's fault,
but every turn had led me to a dead end.

I still had a few good turns left in me,
but nowhere to do them.

If only he could talk,

then maybe he could give me some clue to
putting together the puzzle he dropped on me.

Dr. Melon.

Oh, there you are, Malcolm.

I want you to take a look
at this envelope.

Hmm.

"To H. Fredericks."

Well, it certainly isn't for me.

I found this on Oscar's body.

Now this may be a valuable
piece of evidence, a valuable clue.

Strong, masculine hand.

We could run it
through the spectrograph.

We could do that.

Or run the name
through cryptanalysis.

Or we could open the envelope
and examine the contents.

Of course.

(MALCOLM READING)

"To my..."

H. Fredericks. Darling Helen.

- Helen?
- Oscar.

Oscar. Fredericks.

- Helen?
- Darling Helen?

Fredericks.

- Helen Fredericks!
- Helen... Of course.

Definite possibility.
I'll look it up in the phone book.

I couldn't believe that she
would be involved with Oscar,

but it had to be her.

The match-up of names was
too close to be a coincidence.

Miss Fredericks,
I'd like to talk to you.

What do you want, Malcolm?

I certainly hope it isn't about that
tasteless detective flyer you sent me.

I really can't talk to you now.

I have a lot of papers to correct.

Jasmine Cornell hired me
to find her missing husband.

Oscar... is missing?

So you do know Oscar Cornell.

Well, certainly.
Everyone knows Oscar.

He's a wonderful milk deliverer.

Perhaps you can explain
this little love note I found.

Is it really from Oscar?

Well, it's addressed to you,
isn't it? "H. Fredericks"?

"Darling Helen"?

Leave me alone.

Please go away.
It's after hours.

Let's talk it over inside, quietly.

No. You'll have to go.

What are you hiding in there?

Nothing.

You made that noose?

Yes.

I'm a scout mistress,
you know that, Malcolm.

(HISSING)

(HISSING STOPS)

Are you all right?

Somebody left the oven on.

At first, I thought
it might be just a leak.

Did you leave a pillow in the oven?

What? This?

Mmm-hmm.

Oh. I don't know.

I guess the cat must have dragged
it in here while I was teaching.

Are these your sleeping pills?

What?

Oh, those? Uh...

I, uh, I confiscated those
off a fourth-grade pupil.

I forget his name.
Do you remember Bar Phillips?

He was nodding off
during Nutrition period.

Look, Miss Fredericks,
let's be truthful with one another.

Miss Fredericks.

- Miss Fredericks.
- No.

Have you been despondent
over anything lately?

I...

I'm so ashamed.

Now, you listen to me.

Suicide is nothing
to be ashamed of.

Look.

I happen to be
a confidential investigator.

You can talk to me.

I always buy these by the case
It's much cheaper.

So, I think that, uh...

A little cocktail after a long
day at school is very relaxing.

Resuscitating.

Sure you wouldn't want
a little something?

No way.

- Miss Fredericks.
- Yes?

Miss Fredericks,

how deeply were you
involved with Oscar?

Oscar

said he had found the moon and
the stars and the trees all in my eyes.

Did he ever bring
any animals around the house?

Yeah, Oscar was
very fond of animals.

Especially of my cat.
My cat, Rhoda.

He took Rhoda everywhere.

And always into the bathroom.

(LAUGHS)

He said there were mice in there,
but Lord knows I never saw any.

Once he brought a cow.

And one day he brought a caribou.

Uh, he was always finding
animals on the preserve, you see.

But was there anything out
of the ordinary in his behavior?

Yes, he always
wanted me to pet them.

And then he'd do strange things.

Well, the day
he brought the cow over?

He jumped on the cow
and he asked me to kiss it.

But, I... I didn't do it.

Any other animals?

Oh, lots of small animals.
Bunnies, things like that.

Uh...

We would play with them in
the living room after dinner,

and then he'd put them
in his jacket and leave.

(LAUGHING) I don't know
why I'm telling you all this,

but one day the suitcase fell open

and it was full of clothes, lots of
little babies bonnets and fur jackets...

Did you notice a light blue pajama
top with lace around the sleeves?

No, but there were two
chemises and a bridal veil.

And I went to him...
Well, I...

I thought for a moment they were for me,
so I went to him

and I said, "Oscar,
what are these for?"

And he asked me
to put them on Bossy.

Did you comply with
this unusual request?

Yes, I did.

And then Oscar got the
strangest look in his eyes.

He started to jump up and
down and he got red in the face,

and then suddenly,
he fell over in a swoon.

I remember one day he put one of
his bonnets on that goose outside.

And he started petting
the goose's head,

and I held out my hands and I said,
"Oscar, pet me, pet me, Oscar."

He kept petting the goose.

The last time you saw Oscar,
was he here with a goat?

She was the last straw.

Did she answer to
the name of Susan?

That's her, the bitch.

Did he ever mention
a certain Manchu Eagle?

Yes how did you know that?

Oscar felt that the Manchu Eagle
was the most wonderful bird in the world

I was never sure how he got such
an idea, but he wanted one very badly.

I knew there was no such
bird and that last terrible day,

I was so angry, but I know I
should never have said anything,

but I told him there was no
such bird as a Manchu Eagle.

He looked at me with
this funny, hurt look.

His mouth moved,

but there was no sound.

And then eyes filled with tears,
as if he was going to cry.

And then...

And then, he picked up the goat,

and left.

Oh, God. I...

I wish I was dead.

I didn't know if the tears
were for my benefit

she certainly had
a classic motive: revenge.

I don't see what's
so difficult about it.

From what you told me,

it seems obvious that Oscar
Cornell was some kind of freak

and he got himself murdered by
that little sadist, Freddie Jessup.

I happen to be
a professional investigator,

and I've been sifting through
every fact, every detail

I have analyzed every suspect,
every clue, every conceivable motive,

and I tell you, Ida Mae, I don't know
any more now than I did when I started.

I believe you.

Then how can you just lie there
and make such snap judgments?

I'm just so tired.

Ida Mae,

you're my wife and I love you,

but you've got to face up
to certain definite facts.

I have a vision of myself
that you don't understand.

Then again, sometimes those
closest to you cannot see your genius.

But I don't blame you, Ida Mae.

It's just that
you just don't know me at all.

I've got to go now.

Time is running short.

Bert, I tell you, this case
has almost got me licked.

That's the way it goes.

I've been on it all day.

The clock is running out on me.

Time's money.

I don't know who to believe
at this point.

Well, you can't
judge a book by its cover.

I don't know whether I'll be
able to pull this case off, Bert.

It's always darkest before dawn.

If I blow this one,
I lose everything.

You can't keep a good man down.

Bert, I get the message.

And let a smile be your umbrella.

Laugh and the world
laughs with you?

Money can't buy happiness.

That's what friends are for.

And it takes one to know one.

Bert. Thank you.

I'll see you later.

- Malcolm?
- Yeah.

It's a small world.

MALCOLM: There was only
one man left to turn to.

Dr. Simpson.

DR. SIMPSON: Now, Malcolm,
I want you to know

that I can help you solve
your sexual problems.

You take two of these pills every
20 minutes for the next two months.

And if you notice any
abnormal swelling,

let me know and I will
inform the company.

I'm doing a little clinical
research for them,

picking up a little spare pocket
money on the side, you understand.

Doctor, I...

Well, I'm not here for treatment.

- Oh, you're not?
- No.

Well, that's what I like about you,
Malcolm, you're never sick.

You don't know how depressing it is
to be around sick people all the time.

And they never seem
to get any better.

Alas, poor Yorick. (LAUGHS)

You know, there's an old cliche,

says, "Speed kills."
Well, it's not true.

Nothing makes you feel
any better when you're down.

You want an upper?

Uh, no.

Doctor...

My card.

I'm working as
a private investigator.

Uh, I'd like to know anything
you know about Oscar Cornell.

I can't tell you anything.

Are you getting paid
for this investigation?

Well, of course I'm being paid.

It's on a week-to-week,
but naturally, yes.

Yes, I'm being paid.

You know perfectly well I'm not
allowed to divulge any information.

Hypocratic oath.

But, if you're willing
to split the fee with me,

I could tell you anything
you want to know.

Well, doctor, I'd appreciate
anything you could tell me.

Now, as far as the economics are concerned,
I'm sure that we can come to some agreement.

Jasmine Cornell is a dyke.

She is in terrible condition.
Her husband, Oscar, was frigid.

How those two ever managed
to live together for all those years

as man and wife, I'll never know.

I don't know what is going on.

I'm lucky to make any
dough at all in this dump.

Everything I make goes for pills.

For me.

You don't thinks that
doctors take pills, hmm?

Well, let me tell you the biggest amount
of junkies in this country are doctors,

and loving it, baby.

Tell me about
Ms. Fredericks.

Miss Fredericks is a drunk.

She got to be a lush trying to
get off the pills that I gave her.

What's wrong with drugs,
anyway? Drugs are good for you.

But what about
Ms. Fredericks?

Ms. Fredericks is
good for you, too.

If you can keep her off the sauce.

Pills are the only way out.

Why, I have to take a pill every
morning of my life just to get up.

Why do you think I talk so fast?

I'm so full of meth I don't
know where I'm at, half the time.

Doctor, were you aware that Helen
Fredericks was having an affair with Oscar?

Of course I'm aware of it.
My women patients tell me everything.

I always give my women
patients a free feel

just to let 'em know
that I'm on their side.

They can feel that I'm poking around,
but they don't know what I'm looking for.

Well, I am looking for a good time!

Doctor, in your opinion,
is Helen Fredericks capable of murder?

No, doctors don't
know everything, now.

But do you think that her
feelings of rejection by Oscar

could cause her to seek revenge?

- In my opinion, no.
- Why not?

She's a dyke.

But that's the same thing you
said about Jasmine Cornell.

- That's right.
- Well, how can you be so sure?

Because I offered her a quickie
and they both turned me down.

(EXHALING)

Doc...

Did you ever treat Arlevia Jessup?

Eh, the old man wouldn't
let me anywhere near her.

That is one weird family.

I think the girl is a fruit.

Okay, Doc.

Let's leave her
out of this, shall we?

The whole family is wacko, the old man,
that little creep, Freddie.

If you're looking for a bad bunch, you
don't have to go any further than that.

(GRUNTS)

Why, I removed an arrow from their
colored man's leg only this morning.

Do you still have it?

(STAMMERING)
I don't think I removed the leg.

No, no, no, no, no.
The arrow.

The arrow. Oh, yes,
I had no choice but to remove that.

Where is it?

Well, it's around here somewhere.

Look there under
the radiator, will you?

Thanks, Doc.

Listen, can I
keep this for a while?

Oh, yes, you can have it.

You've been a big help.

Oh, thank you, Malcolm.

Uh-oh.

Malcolm, give my love to Ida Mae.

And tell her to take
potassium. Potassium.

And drink lots of liquids.

Liquids.

Hello. Dr. Sampson...
Simpson. Hmm?

Malcolm has just been
here asking a lot of questions.

He has your arrow, Freddie.

(GRENADE EXPLODING)

(GRENADE EXPLODING)

(CHICKENS CLUCKING)

Dr. Melon?

Dr. Melon.

Dr. Melon.
Are you all right?

(GROANING)

- Come on.
- Oh, I'm not sure.

Was I out long?

Did you see who did it?

No, no.

Whoo, whoo.
It looks like signs of a struggle.

It seems there was an
explosion of some sort.

You know, I'm terribly sorry
about this, Malcolm,

but I'm sure no
real dasmage was done.

I'll get everything
cleaned up right away,

It may just have been
a prank by some kids.

What about Oscar?

Oh, I think we can
safely rule him out.

MALCOLM: My only solid piece
of evidence, Oscar, was missing.

If only I could have
compared the two arrows,

it might have opened
things up for me.

How did you get here?

I had to come.

What happened to Oscar's body?

I don't know Oscar's body.

It was hanging right there.
Do you know who took it?

I don't like it here.
Let's go for a ride.

Arlevia, let's get this straight.

I've been going for a ride all day,
and this is where I get off.

You are something very special.

You have a sensitivity that
most men will never experience.

I love you.

Drop it!

Stand right where you are, Malcolm.

What is this?

We're taking you in.

What's the charge?

Suspected kidnapping
of Ms. Jessup here.

I didn't bring
Ms. Jessop here.

I saw him take her out of our place,
under duress.

She's undergoing psychiatric
treatment by Dr. Simpson

and has been confined
to her quarters.

This man's abduction of
my highly-unstable sister

is a clear case of kidnapping.

Don't worry, Mr. Jessup.
We'll get to the bottom of it.

Now, wait a minute, Chief.
Don't you understand this whole thing is a frame-up?

I was getting too close to the truth,
and I had to be stopped.

Well, all that's for me and Roy
to decide for ourselves. Move out.

Take him, Roy.

Don't walk out
the door ahead of me!

MALCOLM: So that's
the way it ended.

It seems like more than seven
hours ago when it began.

So, now, here I am,
and Oscar's body Is somewhere,

and other than that, we're nowhere.

There's one thought
that keeps hanging on.

The one unresolved question
that I just can't seem to shake.

Who killed Oscar?

The arrow hit Oscar chest-high.

The opening in the window
came to a distance of two inches.

Judging the puncture in Oscar's
chest and the opening in the window,

we come to a mean point of
three feet, six inches.

The only suspect that short
is Freddie Jessup,

who, in fact,
is four feet, 11 inches.

Which means that Freddie
Jessup would have had to have been

standing in a hole
in order for the parabola

of the arrow's trajectory
to be accurate.

I now could see that it was
all fitting into a tight pattern.

You know, Roy,
there's lots of usable junk, here.

Well, you save everything.

Now, what did you
throw this away for?

That's from last
year's policeman's ball.

I know, but we're gonna
have another one next year.

Save the sign.
Just change the date.

Whatever you say.

A sign saved is a sign earned.

ROY: Hey, that "No
smoking" sign just isn't in here.

(CAR STARTING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(GUN FIRING)

Damn it, Roy, hat's my car!

Dr. Melon!
Dr. Melon.

Malcolm, I thought you
were under arrest.

I still am. Dr. Melon,
you've got to help me find Oscar's body

before the police catch up
with me or I'm a goner.

Do you want me
to hide you somewhere?

No. I want you to take that police car
out in front and ditch it in back here,

and when the Chief comes,
you stall him, okay?

I'll stall him.

Big Daddy? Malcolm.

Well, sure, they had to let me go.
The whole thing was a set-up.

Now, look, I can't talk now.

I want you to meet me at the old
mill road by the windbreak in exactly

30 minutes.

I'll give you all
your answers then,

including the proof
I have on your daughter.

And Big Daddy. Come alone.

It was a piece of Oscar's jacket,
all right.

I could still smell the Purina.

It seemed obvious that Oscar
was buried somewhere in this field.

But where?

It was a big field,
and I was running out of time.

I was counting on Bert's dog.

I knew he still had
the nose for the job.

If his heart was in it.

There was only one way to find out.

(DOG SNIFFING)

(GROANS)

Looking for something, creep?

Okay, jerk. Drop the dog.

Okay, Winston. Go on home.

That's right.

Now, throw your gun over here.

Your frame-up didn't work, Freddie.

It worked good enough for you,
stupid.

It's all over, Freddie.

You see, you were too short to dig
anything but a shallow grave for Oscar.

You wanted to be a big man,
Freddie,

But your size gave you away.

(FREDDIE GROANING)

Hold it right there, Malcolm.

You didn't really think I'd fall
for that phone call, did you?

Huh?

(LAUGHING)

I thought you might.

We just let you play
your hand out, creep.

(LAUGHING)

He's coming with me.

Step aside, Freddie.

Look, Big Daddy. I know he's your only
son, and he's a big disappointment to you,

but he's killed a man,
and I'm taking him in.

No, you're not.

Big Daddy, I know
you're rich and powerful,

but I know that you believe
in law and order.

Without it, our society
is destroyed.

All our values, all those wars
we fought for liberty,

they'll all mean nothing.

That's why Freddie has go to
stand trial and then be sent up.

So I'm asking you,
as a decent citizen,

to put down the shotgun.

Malcolm!

(SHOTGUN BLASTING)

(LAUGHING)

All right, Big Daddy.

I think that's just
about enough, huh?

Get up on your feet.

All right, Freddie, on your feet.

(SIRENS APPROACHING)

Come on.

MALCOLM: Wake up.

Wake up, Ida Mae.

Malcolm?

What are you doing home?

What happened?

What time is it?

Is it Prime Time?

What happened to your face?

Huh?

Nothing serious.

Just a shooting incident.

Shooting incident?
What kind of a shooting incident?

Malcolm?

Malcolm, will you please
tell me what happened.

Ida Mae, don't ask
questions. Just listen.

Sure it all started when Oscar
walked into my office, looking for help.

At first it seemed like an
open-and-shut case of death. Murder one.

But it was more than that.

Oscar was dead before
he ever came into the room,

because the dream in him was dead.

What I've been looking for all along,
although I didn't know it,

was a dream-killer.

I kept asking myself... what is the
Manchu Eagle? Where can I find one?

Is there really such a bird?
Can I buy one? Did Oscar lose his?

Did he ever own one?

Then it hit me,
hot and heavy as a blow-out.

The Manchu Eagle was Oscar's dream.

It's what he was searching for,
and it's why he died.

It was that open-end
moment of immortality,

that eclipse that sears the eyes,

that cloud we reach for
but seldom touch.

It wasn't Freddie's arrow that short-circuited
and finally broke Oscar's heart.

It was this town.
Yeah, all of us who sit in judgment on a man like Oscar,

a man who has his own way of going
about things, his own special vision.

We don't have to
understand the dream,

we just have to mark it
"no trespassing."

It wasn't Just Freddie Jessup
who killed Oscar this morning.

We did it, all of us.

We killed the Manchu Eagle.

Malcolm, I've known you
a long time...

But that is the biggest line
of crap I've ever heard.

I thought you might say
something like that.

You'd say anything at this
point to save your pretty neck.

What are you talking about?

You see, Ida Mae, Freddie Jessup
couldn't have killed Oscar alone.

There had to be someone else.

Somebody who knew
when Oscar arrived,

Someone who knew the location not only
of my office but of my client's chair.

And, besides that, someone who knew here
that hole was that Freddie could stand in.

My guess is that we'll find chicken
traces on your sun suit and wedgies,

tying you into that hole.

That you dug out yourself.

What are you talking about?
I think you're crazy.

- Ida Mae...
- What?

What?

What are you doing?

Malcolm, what are you doing?

You're an accessory
to murder, Ida Mae.

I already have Melon's
sworn statement,

placing you at the hole
in the chicken yard

and listing a number of
peculiar things you've said to him.

Melon? Melon is senile.
His testimony would never hold up in court.

Melon is a doctor.
Senility cannot be held against him.

Malcolm! Malcolm, I'm your wife.
I love you.

Sure, you say that now, but when
you're sitting in the gas chamber,

you'll change your tune.
They all do.

Malcolm!

Ida Mae, maybe they'll
only give you 50 years.

If they do,
I'll be waiting for you,

If I can wait around tha long.

If I can't, I'll never forget you.

But we can both try.

Malcolm!

Malcolm!

Did she talk, Malcolm?

Not yet. But she will.
Believe me.

Plenty.

All right, Roy.
Move it out.

IDA MAE: Malcolm!

IDA MAE: Malcolm!

IDA MAE: I love you!

I'll never forget her.

Forget who?

Malcolm?

Which way is the interstate?

Just keep walking.