The Luck of the Irish (2001) - full transcript
A teenager must battle for a gold charm to keep his family from being controlled by an evil leprechaun.
KYLE: Everyone in the world
is different from everyone else.
That's easy to see. Just look.
But everyone is lucky enough
to have one thing in common,
one thing that binds everyone together...
(NATIVE AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYING)
Everyone has a heritage, a family history,
traditions handed down
from grandparents and great-grandparents.
Our next performer is Kyle Johnson.
Kyle?
Hey, I'm down here!
Kyle?
(WHISPERING) Kyle?
KYLE: But what if I'm not that lucky?
What if I'm the only person
who doesn't have a heritage?
What if I'm different?
I said I'm down here!
Can't you see me?
Kyle?
(SCREAMS)
-KATE: Kyle?
-(GASPS)
It's time to get ready for the game.
Go, Eagles!
I must have zoned out.
I had this weird dream about this
heritage thing that's going on at school.
Pre-game anxiety. Everybody get's it.
I used to dream I was at the game
wearing nothing but my underwear,
and I was just in the band.
You'll do fine, Kyle. You always do.
Here, have some yogurt and a fruit bar.
It will help you keep your energy up.
That sounds good.
I might have some of that myself.
Where's our family from, Dad?
-We're from right here, son.
-No, where do we come from?
You know, what's our heritage?
We moved here from Cleveland.
We're Americans, Kyle.
That's all the heritage we need.
BOB: Hey, come on, Kyle,
you're gonna be late for the game!
-Let's go.
-Don't forget to wear your lucky coin.
KYLE: I had this really weird feeling,
like there was something
they weren't telling me.
This was the first time
our school had ever made it
to the state basketball playoffs.
Get over, Russell! Find your shot.
KYLE: Tonight was the quarter-finals.
We were going
all the way this year. State champions.
(GROANING)
And I was the reason why.
Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Everything was going my way.
I was one lucky guy.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
-Dude, that was a lucky shot.
-Hey, luck's got nothing to do with it.
You're looking good, Kyle.
I taught him everything he knows.
(CROWD CHEERING)
-Hey, Kyle.
-Hi, Bonnie.
You know I'm in charge
of the Heritage Day committee.
You're in charge of,
like, every committee.
I mean, somebody's gotta do it.
I'm putting together the program
and wanted to know
what you're gonna do for Heritage Day.
I don't know. I mean, you know, this whole
Heritage Day thing,
it's like so public television.
-It's your history.
-Yeah, but I mean, history...
You know, it's like so 10 minutes ago.
Now, sports. That's what's happenin' now.
That's where I'm comin' from.
That's right.
Well, even if you are some kind of
mindless jock, you still got a heritage.
-Mindless?
-America is a nation of immigrants, Kyle.
Everybody's ancestors
came from another country.
Yeah. I'm part Cherokee.
So where's your family from?
Is Johnson an English name?
Or did they change it
from Johansson or something?
-Uh, we're from Cleveland.
-Ha-ha. Very funny.
-Now, come on, you know what I mean.
-(BELL RINGING)
Look, uh, I've got a test, okay?
See you guys later.
Ugh. Jocks.
(BELL RINGS)
TEACHER: Time's up, people!
Put your test papers on my desk
on your way out, please.
Thank you.
You'd be better off
leaving 'em blank, Kyle.
Remember, I subtract points
for wrong answers.
-Summer school.
-(BOTH CHUCKLING)
I do it specifically to discourage
what you just did.
Guessing at the answers.
You know, in real life, you can't depend
on luck to make up for not knowing.
These answers are all correct.
-This looks great.
-Thanks.
So, is this like Italian food
or something?
It's something I saw
in Eat Smart magazine.
-Why?
-Oh, I just thought, you know,
maybe it was, like, an old family recipe.
You're lucky your mom makes you
such healthy meals, Kyle.
It's probably why
you're such a good athlete.
Kyle just has a natural talent for sports.
KYLE: Yeah, it's probably genetic.
I mean, I bet, if you go back far enough,
we've had great athletes
in our family for generations.
You know, great soccer players, maybe?
Or, uh, cross-country skiers?
Or...
Bullfighters?
You better eat your salad.
You don't want the oil to separate.
-Uh, yeah, Dad.
-Yeah.
Um, I was talking with the girl
in charge of the Heritage Day committee...
KATE: Is it Bonnie Lopez?
She's always in charge of everything.
-I know!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
Yeah. Anyways, she says that everyone's
family comes from somewhere else.
I mean, if you go back far enough
we couldn't have always
lived in Cleveland.
Unless we're Indians.
But we're not Indians, are we?
I don't think so.
Okay, then, what are we?
Where do we come from?
I think your great-grandfather
moved there from Mount Buffalo.
No, Dad. I mean, before that.
Before we came to America.
Why are you so interested
in your family all of a sudden?
I don't know. I mean,
with Heritage Day coming up,
I don't want to be
the only kid who doesn't know what he is.
You're Kyle Johnson.
You're a good student,
a good boy, a great athlete.
Just because some people are obsessed
with where their ancestors came from,
-doesn't mean you have to be, too.
-Mom, I'm not obsessed.
Being an individual
is what America's all about, Kyle.
Doesn't matter where you're from.
You can be anything you want to be.
KATE: Fresh ground pepper?
KYLE: There it was again. The feeling that
they were hiding something from me.
At school the next day,
I tried to find out what it was.
Actually, I'm looking for information
on my family. You know, my heritage.
(CHUCKLES)
KYLE: Man, there sure are
a lot of people named "Johnson."
Yeah, four million pages.
Maybe you should narrow
that search down a little.
Uh, why don't you start with your father,
and trace your family back that way?
-I tried, but I couldn't find him.
-Did you look in Cleveland?
(SIGHS)
-Here, move over, let me try.
-You don't have to help me.
I'm head of the Heritage Day
committee, remember?
It's my job to help the heritage-impaired.
It's not important to me anyway.
I mean, so what if I'm from Germany,
or England, or whatever?
-It doesn't mean anything to me.
-Then why were you on the computer?
Okay, what about your mother's family?
-Where are they from?
-I don't know.
Well, half of your heritage
comes from her, you know.
Well, yeah, but, I never really thought
about my mom's family.
Well, what was her last name
before she got married?
Don't tell me, you don't even know
your mother's maiden name!
How are you ever gonna get a credit card?
Look, if you really want to find out
about your family heritage,
you might try talking to your parents.
They are your family.
(SIGHS)
I couldn't tell Bonnie that I thought
my mom and dad
were hiding something from me.
That day after school, it got weirder.
The first weird thing
was my dad's old high school yearbook.
He wasn't in it.
At least, Bob Johnson wasn't in it.
Robert Smith?
-Bob Smith?
-KATE: Kyle?
Oh. Hi, Mom.
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
Um...
-I'm gonna go shoot some hoops.
-Okay. Don't be late for supper.
I'm making stir-fry.
Why would he change his name
from Smith to Johnson?
I mean, if you're gonna change your name,
at least change it
to something interesting.
Or, you know what?
Maybe he didn't pick it.
Maybe it was the FBI or something,
like they gave him a new identity.
No, man. You gotta be like a hit man or
something before they'll let you do that.
No.
Man, how do you make those shots?
You know what?
Maybe they were, like, these
big radicals in the '60s, you know?
And they had to go underground?
Yeah, or you know what?
Maybe they're really aliens,
and they got stranded on Earth,
when their spaceship crashed.
(GRUNTS)
You just touched the rim!
Yeah, I did. (CHUCKLES)
My dad measures me every week
to see if I'm getting taller.
Then he measures my vertical jump.
Man, if I could touch the rim...
Man, you sure are lucky.
What does luck have to do
with how high you can jump?
You're the luckiest guy in school, Kyle,
everybody knows it.
You know what, I think it's
because of that lucky charm.
-Maybe it really works.
-What, this?
Nah, this is just something
my mom gave me when I was a baby.
Hey, check it out! Somebody lost 10 bucks!
Luck and a half, man. You're always
finding money lying in the street.
Hey, we're a team, all right?
I'll split it with you.
Cool.
Hey, man. Check it out.
Hey, you know what?
I saw that guy on TV once.
No, no, no. The thing behind him.
It's the same as my coin.
I thought it was, like,
Chinese or something.
Hey, you know what?
I think this guy's Irish.
Maybe my mom's Irish.
(KIDS SCREAM)
MAN: Top o' the morning to you.
Top o' the morning to you.
Top o' the morning to you. Hi.
(LAUGHS)
Yo, the feet are the bomb,
but what's with the arms?
It's something called step dancing.
MAN: Step right up! Win a shamrock!
Come on, three balls!
Now, why wouldn't your mother
want you to know if she was Irish?
I don't know. I just get this really
weird feeling whenever I talk to her.
It's like they don't want me to know
anything about my heritage.
I didn't know you really cared
about heritage stuff.
Well, I don't. I mean, I didn't, anyway.
Now I feel like I'm missing something.
Yeah.
Top o' the morning to you.
Oh, sweetie, top o' the morning to you.
(SCREAMS)
-Ha, maybe I should read this.
-Look.
They have these good luck
thingies like yours.
Those are just, you know, fake.
Mine's real gold.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
You can always tell the real thing.
Yeah, I guess so.
Did you make those yourself,
or is it your ma still does it for you,
and you half-grown?
-You mean, my shoes?
-They're called basketball shoes, Sir.
Yeah, you buy them at a store.
At the store, is it? Oh!
KYLE: Yeah. Ow!
And what'll become of your feet
when the road becomes hard and stony?
Oh, look at this, boyo.
Good Irish leather.
Soft as a spring shower
and tough as a landlord's heart.
Hey! You can't put your feet up there.
Get the boys a bag of spuds.
Hey, how did you...
RUSSELL: Where'd he go?
(CROWD CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
Seamus McTiernan, Saint of the Step!
If you hail from the shores
of the Emerald Isle,
or wish you did,
if the blood in your veins
is as green as a shamrock
and your heart's full of blarney,
then the Saint of the Step loves you.
If you believe in the little people,
and you know that there's
a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow,
then you belong to the Saint of the Step.
(IRISH DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Man, is this bogus or what?
Kyle? Kyle?
Kyle, what are you doing?
I don't know. I can't help it!
(GRUNTS)
(CROWD CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
Sorry, kid.
(CHUCKLES)
Top o' the morning to you.
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
Aah! (GROANING)
(MOM SINGS)
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Ah, top o' the morning to you.
Did you do something to your hair, Mom?
I just thought I'd try
a more natural look.
Now, sit yourself down,
and I'll put your breakfast on the table.
-Is that bacon I smell?
-It is.
And I've a pair of hen's eggs
frying for each of you.
Bacon and eggs? Isn't that
a little heavy on the cholesterol?
KATE: It's time you put
some meat on your bones.
-Now, sit down, the two of you.
-Does Mom sound...
I mean, does Mom sound a wee bit...
I just said "a wee bit."
Yeah.
KATE: I've been thinking about
what you said, Kyle, about your heritage,
and there's something I have to tell you.
Uh, Kate, are you sure
this is the right time?
Oh, it's no use trying to hide it, Bobby.
It's about my family, Kyle.
-Kate, why don't we just go out...
-We're Irish.
Why didn't you guys tell me
about this before now?
Oh, I wanted to protect you, Kyle,
from the way it was
when the Irish first came to America.
From the jokes and the dirty jobs
nobody else would take,
and the signs in the shop windows
saying, "No Irish need apply."
I wanted you to be 100% American.
Mom, that Irish immigrant stuff
was like over 100 years ago, wasn't it?
I remember, when I was a little boy,
my mother used to make bacon and eggs
every morning for breakfast,
and we'd have white bread, toasted,
with a lot of margarine on it and then...
Hen's eggs and a rasher of bacon.
Potato cakes, bangers,
and a black-and-white pudding.
-What's black-and-white pudding?
-Blood sausage and pork sausage.
And I've packed
crubeens and colcannon for your lunch.
It's really weird, you know?
At first, it's like she's trying to hide
where her family's from,
and now she's cooking all this Irish food,
and she's even talking funny.
Okay, so what about your dad
changing his name?
It really doesn't seem like
it's such a big deal now, you know?
I mean, at least I know I got
a heritage, you know?
At least I know I'm...
-Hey! Some green.
-Every day!
KYLE: Yep!
I guess it must be the luck of the Irish.
That was the beginning
of the unluckiest day of my life.
I lost my homework. It must have fallen...
(LAUGHTER)
Hey, looking good.
What's up, Kyle? Did you eat already?
I lost my lunch.
Yeah, and on your pants, too.
That's nasty.
Well, I was gonna, you know,
buy my lunch, but I lost my money.
You want some chips? They're Emerald Isle.
Look, that's never happened to me,
Russell, all right?
I can't remember
losing anything ever in my whole life.
Look, it is just bad luck.
It happens to everybody.
Hey, Kyle, you want my dessert?
Chocolate makes me break out.
Yeah.
Well, so much for bad luck.
MAN: Into the hoop! Yeah, that's the way!
-Hey, Kyle can touch the rim.
-No way, man.
Yeah, way, man, I saw him do it. Come on
Hey, Kyle!
Show 'em how you can touch the rim.
Yeah, Come on, Kyle!
BOY: Show 'em how to do it, Kyle.
RUSSELL: Okay. Come on. Do it!
(LAUGHTER)
Get a ladder, man,
you can't even get the net.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
COACH: All right, let's line up, guys.
Tonight is the semi-final
of the state tournament.
You win tonight, you make history.
The first time this school
has ever had a basketball team
make it to the championship game.
(ALL CHEER)
All right, all right, listen up.
There's no running on game days.
To make sure everybody stays sharp,
I want everyone to make 10
foul shots before you go home.
That's make 'em, not take 'em.
Russell, start us off.
ALL: Come on. Let's go.
Any day now.
Look, you're trying too hard, Russ.
Just relax. Let it drop. (EXHALES)
End of the line, Kyle.
Let's keep it moving.
Let's keep it moving.
Ha! That's 10. Give me five more.
-So, how many you have left?
-Ten.
You haven't made any yet?
Man, I've never seen you go
ice-cold like this.
Yeah, That's because
I've never been ice-cold.
You want me to hang
till you make your shots?
(SIGHS) Nah, man, It's cool.
-I'll catch up with you at the game.
-Sure.
(SIGHS)
I think you need
a little more arc in that shot.
I just lost my temper for a second.
I don't want to perpetuate a stereotype,
but they say the Irish are
a little hotheaded.
-How did you know I was Irish?
-Russell told me.
So, what are you gonna
do for Heritage Day?
I saw some Irish dancing
over the weekend. Maybe I could do that.
You're gonna learn to step dance
between now and Heritage Day?
(SCOFFS) It didn't look that hard.
Well, everything's easy for you, isn't it?
What's wrong with you?
Are you mad about something?
I've known you a long time, Kyle.
You're a nice guy and all that,
but you'd be a better person
if everything hadn't always been
so easy for you.
Look at basketball, the last game.
You guys were out-played,
but you won because you got lucky.
The state championship
isn't supposed to be
something you just luck into.
Look, just because you know everything
does not mean
you know anything about basketball.
Lucky shot.
That wasn't luck.
That was practice. You know, hard work?
What do you mean, practice?
You don't even play basketball.
It was the perfect ending
for the worst day of my life.
Too bad it wasn't over yet.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Boo!
(BOOING)
-Come on! Get him outta the game!
-(GRUNTING)
(IN IRISH ACCENT) You can do it, boyo!
Come on, Kyle!
(CHEERLEADERS CHANTING)
Way to go, Drake!
No!
I'm open! I'm open!
(GRUNTING)
Take him out, Coach!
Aw, man!
(CROWD BOOING)
KYLE: It was like I never played before.
It was awful. I couldn't even make a shot.
And half the time,
I missed the rim completely.
I just...
-BOB: Everyone has an off night, Kyle.
-I never did before.
The important thing is your team won.
You're going to the finals!
Yeah, thanks to Drake!
He played a great game,
especially after Coach took me out.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
You don't need to be playing basketball.
You should be hurling!
Mom, I'm not sick, I just played lousy.
(SIGHS)
Are you sure you're feeling all right?
I might drink a bit
of a warm bonnyclabber before I go to bed.
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Do you smell something, Da? I mean, Dad.
BOB: It smells like something's burning.
Ah, boys. There's nothing like a peat fire
to put the taste of Eire
in your breakfast.
(COUGHS)
(COUGHING)
(COUGHS)
My dad says if we don't win tonight,
he's gonna adopt the other team.
Hey, you look shorter.
I think maybe I'm having a growth-spurt.
No, I'm just, uh,
packing on a little weight.
My mom's on this Irish kick.
We had spuds again... I mean, potatoes.
Hey, maybe that's why they blocked
so many of my shots last night.
-I wasn't getting enough vertical jump.
-You were moving okay. Like you always do.
So, you think everybody's gonna be
ticked at me 'cause I played so lousy?
Look, they're not gonna
turn on you over one game.
Besides, we're still going to the Finals.
Yeah.
-Just so pathetic.
-Loser.
You loser.
-Nice.
-Way to choke, Johnson.
BOY: Hey, watch me touch the rim!
Hey, looking good, girls.
Oh, look, there's Drake.
Hi, Drake. Great game.
Drake's so hot!
Well, he did play a great game.
-Hey, Kyle. I just wanna...
-I gotta go to class.
Sorry.
(BELL RINGING)
Can anyone tell me
what a magnet is? Holly!
A piece of iron that attracts
another piece of iron.
Good, but a magnet
doesn't just attract iron.
Man, one bad game,
and I feel like I'm nobody.
Kyle, since you feel like talking,
why don't you tell us what three kinds
of metal are attracted by a magnet?
Uh,
iron and...
Anyone? Russell?
-Iron, cobalt and nickel.
-Very good.
Iron, cobalt and nickel.
Now, take your magnet and one
of the metal objects in front of you.
If that object is attracted to the magnet,
then it must contain
either iron, cobalt or nickel.
(CLANKS)
I thought you said that was solid gold.
-It is.
-Magnets don't lie, man.
No, no. This is different.
This isn't my lucky coin.
Look, I've got to call my mom, all right?
I bet that coin was like
a family heirloom or something.
That's probably why
she wanted me to wear it.
No, that's probably why you had
such a bad game last night.
Somebody must have stolen it.
Oh, for the love of Mike!
-Kyle! Kyle, I need to talk to you.
-Look, I'm a little busy right now.
-He lost his lucky charm.
-What?
It's a gold coin.
It's probably, like, 100 years old.
-Got it.
-That's just a quarter.
-Does he look shorter to you?
-No. He just bulked up.
There's something wrong
with this stupid phone.
Look, Kyle, I have to go. I'm going
on a field trip with the Young Achievers,
And I just wanted to say,
I hope nothing I said yesterday
threw you off your game.
-You know, about you being lazy.
-Lazy? You never said I was lazy!
I mean, all that other stuff
about everything being too easy for you,
about not deserving to win
the state championship.
Whoa! Check out that hair!
Man, my dad won't let me dye mine.
He got this thing about Dennis Rodman.
Tonight's the state championship, man.
If you cut school without an excuse,
the coach might not let you play.
An excuse?
Okay, first I find out I've been robbed,
now my hair's turning red...
Hey, I used to be taller than you.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Saints preserve us! I am getting shorter!
Mom, Dad, there's something wrong...
There's something
your mother and I need to tell you, son.
I'm a leprechaun, Kyle.
Huh?
Mom?
I know it's hard to believe, Kyle.
I mean, when I first met your mother...
-You're not a leprechaun, too?
-No. No. I'm from Cleveland.
We'd have told you sooner, Kyle,
but we wanted you to grow up
like a normal American boy.
But then when I started to have
this wee little spell...
-Mom, you're a foot tall.
-Oh, it could be worse, believe me.
It's probably just an allergic reaction.
Boiled potatoes, something like that.
I don't think you have
any reason to worry.
What?
Me? You mean, I'm a leprechaun, too?
And what else would you be?
And you, with the blood of the Clan
O'Reilly rushin' about in your veins.
Doesn't mean you can't lead
a perfectly normal life, Kyle.
-Normal? Normal?
-Yes.
Dad, look at my hair.
And I'm getting shorter.
You don't look short to me.
-How does it look, Da?
-Maybe an inch... Or two.
Two inches? Dad, you said this was like
an allergic reaction or something.
(SIGHS)
-How long does it take to wear off?
-Well...
Actually, it's never happened before.
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
According to your mother,
as long as the O'Reillys have their luck,
every member of the clan can pass
as a normal human.
Ordinary size, all of that.
Of course, I'm not really sure
how it all works.
Well, okay, okay.
Well, maybe that's the trouble with Mom.
-I mean, maybe we're just out of luck.
-No. No. That can't be the problem.
Well, how do you know?
Your lucky coin.
That's the luck of the clan O'Reilly.
(FLUTE CONTINUES PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Mom. Mom. I lost my lucky coin.
What's this about losing your coin,
when it's hangin' about your very neck?
Look. It's not mine. It's fake.
Somebody must have switched it
with the real one.
(WHISPERING) The dirty thief!
It's nothin' but a bit of iron
and gold paint on it.
-Are you saying somebody stole your coin?
-I bet it was this really weird old guy
me and Russell talked to
at The Luck of the Irish,
You know, that Seamus McTiernan
dancing thing?
Yeah, I bet he was like
a pickpocket or something.
Wasn't that show at the fairgrounds?
You know you're not supposed to
go there without asking us.
Look, Dad. I just wanted
to learn about my heritage.
KATE: You can't blame him, Bobby,
and we not telling him the truth.
Now, what's this about an old man?
Gray in the hair, was he?
Yeah, I mean, he started walking up to us
and talking about his shoes.
Said he made them himself.
Was it a snake he had
on the sole of his shoe?
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
The miserable old sinner to play
such a trick! And you his own grandson!
-He was my grandfather?
-BOB: Your grandfather O'Reilly.
KATE: And may his name
be cursed for a liar.
Oh, I'll not let him get away with it,
If I have to pry the coin
out of his thieving fingers myself.
And he me own Da.
I knew we should've moved as soon as
they built that new potato chip factory.
We were bound to run into him sometime.
-You mean Emerald Isle's?
-Yes. It's he that owns the whole company,
and still can't stew oatmeal
without burning it.
Come along, boys.
And we'll shame him with what he's done!
Uh...
(GRUNTING)
Honey, I think maybe I should drive.
Yeah.
(KATE GRUNTING)
Kate, I think you should wait in the car.
You might attract attention.
That's how it was
when we first came to this country, hmm?
People looking down on ya
'cause you're a bit different.
Um, Mom,
am I gonna get as small as you are?
Ah, you're only half-leprechaun, Kyle.
It'll be days before
you're down to this size.
Plenty of time for me to make you
some wee little ghillies for your feet.
Don't worry, Kyle.
We'll get your coin back.
(IN IRISH ACCENT) He says he's married
to Mr. O'Reilly's daughter.
Right.
(SIGHS)
(IN IRISH ACCENT) The tour group is here.
Son, relax. Just listen to me,
everything is gonna be fine.
If my grandda is right...
I mean, Granddad...
Why don't I ever get to see him?
Because I'm not...
Because I'm not a leprechaun,
and they don't believe in mixed marriages.
That's why we had to leave Cleveland.
We even changed our names,
so Kate's family couldn't find us.
Well, if you and Mom,
love each other, why should it matter?
Well, sometimes leprechauns
can be small-minded.
Come on.
Right, sir. I'll handle it.
Mr. O'Reilly says
he doesn't have a daughter
and for you to go away
and not to be bothering him again.
I'm not leaving here
until I see Mr. O'Reilly.
(BOTH SCREAM)
Are you okay, Da?
All right, Kyle. We're not giving up.
Just gonna talk a little strategy
with your mother, that's all.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
WOMAN: Oh, look at them. You look so nice.
On behalf of our president
and founder, Mr. Reilly O'Reilly,
I'd like to say welcome to Emerald Isle.
Uh, if you follow me,
we'll begin the tour.
Please stay with the group at all times.
Some of the machinery can be dangerous.
Now, the potato chip
was invented in the late 1800s
when a cook accidentally
sliced some potatoes too thin
and discovered they turned crisp
when he fried them.
As you can see,
we've come a long way since then.
Are there any questions so far?
-Yes?
-Will we get to meet Mr. O'Reilly?
Oh, no! Mr. O'Reilly is far too busy
to be seeing us today.
Where's his office?
It's in another part of the building.
Now, if you'll follow me, we'll first see
how the potatoes are washed.
-What are you doing here?
-Shh. Come on.
You're not a Young Achiever.
-I have to talk to Mr. O'Reilly.
-Why?
Remember how I told you
my coin was stolen?
Well, I think he's the one that took it.
He's like a millionaire.
Why would he steal your coin?
Because he's my grandfather.
Why would your grandfather
steal your coin?
Do you have to know everything?
He and my mom don't really get along,
and I guess he did it to get back at her.
I think we have intruders.
(ALARM BLARING)
Come on!
Come on!
Why is your grandfather
mad at your mother?
-Because she married my father.
-Why doesn't he like your father?
-Because he's not a leprechaun.
-What?
-We've got 'em!
-Come on!
(PANTING)
-Get in!
-Go!
(BONNIE SCREAMS)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING) Let go!
(YELLS)
Kyle!
(SCREAMING)
Better not take this one, boys.
I think it's my grandson.
(GROANS)
I thought I was baked!
A good boy like you
has got nothing to fear from the oven.
BONNIE: (YELLS) Kyle!
Kyle, are you all right?
Yeah. At least I found my grandda.
Oh. Oh, Kyle.
What?
Oh, no! I'm turning into a Vulcan! Oh!
-Sidney.
-Mr. O'Reilly.
You'll feel better
after having a lie down in me office.
Better yet, make yourself a pair of shoes.
It's good for the soul.
When you make your own shoes,
you're the master of your feet.
KYLE: I don't wanna make a pair of shoes,
and I don't wanna be a leprechaun.
Oh, there's no use railing
against what you are, boyo.
If green's just not your color,
then why don't you put your coin back on?
Or has your ma not told you, it's the coin
that lets you pass for human?
Look. I don't have
my coin, all right? You do.
You took my real coin
and switched it with this fake one
so I wouldn't know about it.
I did no such thing, boyo.
And I'll not have you blacken my name
by saying I did. Huh!
I'll wager it's your ma who took it
to turn you against me.
It's a traitor she is,
and to her own people.
My mom doesn't have the coin.
She's changing faster than I am.
She's this tall!
Really?
Is it truly stolen?
Fine. None of your ma's tricks.
Oh, no. No. No. It can't be.
Why, without our luck,
the O'Reilly clan would start to...
Am I lookin' a bit green?
(SIGHS)
And my trousers could use a roll.
Why aren't you getting short
as fast as my mom did?
It's not easy for an old man to change.
What does Kyle's lucky coin have to do
with everybody turning into a leprechaun?
It's not Kyle's luck.
It's the luck of the clan O'Reilly.
It's all that's held us together
for 1,000 years and more.
A thousand years of invasion and
oppression, being forced from the land.
A thousand years
of stony fields and famine,
saying goodbye forever
as you get on a boat for a distant shore.
Now, when we've finally
made it, here in America
and are just about to have
all our luck, you've lost it!
Well, why did I have to wear it, huh?
Why not you or Mom?
You're the youngest member
of the clan O'Reilly
and it's always the young
that have all the luck.
(SCOFFS)
I might as well go lie down in the gutter.
It's nothing but bankruptcy
and ruin for the O'Reillys
now that our clan is out of luck.
Hey, luck isn't everything. I mean,
it wasn't luck that built this factory.
Oh, a lot you know.
And I might still be a short-order chef
if it had not been
for a bit of luck one day
when I sliced the spuds too thin.
Are you saying you invented
the potato chip?
That was over 100 years ago.
This is all my fault.
I mean, everything was going great until
I started trying to find out what I was.
Now I've got red hair and pointy ears.
I wish I never
would've found out anything.
I wish I didn't have a heritage.
-There must be something you could do.
-(IRISH FLUTE PLAYING)
If your coin was stolen,
you can go to the police.
Oh, yeah, and tell them I'm a leprechaun,
and I've lost my luck? Yeah, right!
Do you have to do that?
Of course I do. I'm Irish.
That's how I manifest despair.
Kyle!
No, no, no! I'm not Irish.
I'm an American!
Maybe I wasn't the only person that got
robbed at that Luck of the Irish thing.
Maybe they already
caught the guy who did it.
I'm sure we can talk to Seamus McTiernan.
What? That paddywhacker?
That stage Irishman
with his neon shamrocks
and his heart-full-of-blarney rubbish?
Why didn't you tell me
it was at his show you lost your coin?
I'd have known it was him
that stole our luck.
-I didn't say it was him.
-And who else would it be?
And him a fear daraig.
As plain as I'm standing here.
BOTH: A what?
Kate! Kate! I can't find him anywhere.
I don't know where he is.
-KYLE: Da!
-Kyle!
I know who took my coin.
It was Seamus McTiernan.
Granddad says he's like
a fear daraig leprechaun.
-He says they're all thieves and liars.
-Oh, really?
No, O'Reilly. Reilly O'Reilly.
And you must be Bobby.
-Yeah.
-KATE: Don't believe a word he says, Kyle.
It's he that took it to spite me.
(GROANING)
And it'd only be giving you
what you deserve, Kathleen O'Reilly,
for daring to marry
outside the Little People.
But I swear on my mother's grave,
it wasn't me that...
-(THUD)
-(GRUNTS)
KYLE: Ma!
Don't waste your sympathy on him, Kyle.
Swearing on his ma's grave
and she's still livin' in Sligo,
and healthy as a horse!
You are a fine one
to be callin' me a liar.
And did you not tell me
when you first met Bobby
that he hailed from the shores of Erie?
And you knowin' me ears
aren't what they used to be,
and I'd never guess
you meant some lake in Ohio.
You guys, that stuff's all in the past.
Can't you just forget about it?
-Forget the past?
-Yes.
The important thing is
what's happening now, today.
All right, we've got to get our luck back
before it's too late.
Well, maybe it's too late
to be objectin' to a marriage
and your boy all grown up now, like a man.
(SIGHS)
Well, I'll not be apologizing
for marrying Bob,
but I am sorry
for the trouble it caused ya.
Let bygones be bygones?
There's no time for formalities, boyo.
Seamus McTiernan
is making off with our luck.
-Come on. Let's after the thief.
-All right.
-Bonnie look, I gotta go.
-I'm going with you.
Well, what about the Young Achievers?
They're supposed to be about
seizing opportunities.
How often do you get an opportunity
where you can help a clan of leprechauns
get their luck back?
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
Besides I only joined the Young Achievers
because my parents made me.
I really wanted to play basketball.
But they said the Achievers would
look better on a college application.
(ENGINE STRUGGLING)
I guess it's my car we'll be taking.
Fasten your seat belts.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
So, Grandda,
am I going to grow a beard like that?
Oh, not for a good many years,
I'm glad to say.
Kyle? Hey? Hey, Kyle?
I wasn't sure if it...
Whoa! Check out those ears.
Are those real?
Are they getting worse?
Oh!
You okay? What's going on?
I think we've got enough people
in the car already.
Hey. It's that guy. But with a beard.
That's my grandda.
Kyle, it's not our way to be telling
the whole world all about us.
Would ya stop your jabberin'
and drive the car?
Can you not see that the road is clear?
-Mrs. Johnson?
-Hello, Russell.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
You wait here. I'm gonna check this out.
Be careful, Da.
Bobby. Bobby.
If you get into any trouble
with Seamus, try making a bet with him.
The fear daraig all go wild for gambling.
Thanks.
MAN: Yeah, let's get this thing set up.
(SCREAMS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMS)
-They're getting away!
-Don't let him... (GRUNTS)
Don't let him get away!
I saw it! There's a whole bunch of
gold coins in there! Come on!
(TIRES SCREECH)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(KATE SCREAMS)
Oh, you better hang on!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(SEAMUS LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
BOB: Keep your head...
What are you trying to do?
Reilly, you're gonna get us killed!
Why don't you give me some of that
corned beef and cabbage there, Patrick?
I'm always happy to share a meal
with a fellow leprechaun.
May the road rise up to meet ya,
and may it be a slippery one.
KYLE: Watch out!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Quick! Get the spare!
They're gettin' away!
I don't have a spare, Kyle.
-What?
-With all the good luck I've always had,
I never thought I'd be needing one.
(SIGHS)
Well, I've worked up quite an appetite.
That was the last of the corned beef, sir.
(BAGPIPE PLAYING)
Please, pl... (SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
You better get home.
You've got a big game tonight.
But, what about you?
You're the reason that we made it
to the State Finals.
I can't play looking like this.
I never could play anyway, not really.
I was only good because I was lucky.
Basketball isn't everything, Kyle.
I should know.
Well, I can't play baseball
or football either.
I meant sports isn't everything.
Look, I liked who I was, all right?
And that's who I wanna be.
We should've told you a long time ago.
I'm sorry, Kyle. That was our mistake.
It's okay, Da... Dad.
-Things could be worse, Kyle.
-Yeah? How?
Hey, give me a hand with this, Bobby.
I think it's stuck.
(ELECTRIC MOTOR STRAINING)
Come on.
It's no use, Grandda. It's just our luck.
It's almost enough to make you
homesick for Ireland.
If you had sense enough not to drive
without a spare tire!
Or, if you hadn't married me daughter,
none of this would've happened.
That has nothing...
It doesn't do any good
trying to blame each other.
I know this is miserable, but...
Please don't say
it could get worse. It might.
I was just gonna say that
everybody has bad luck,
but you can make it better
if you just keep trying.
I mean, when the Irish came to America,
things were tough.
And they had to work at jobs
other people wouldn't take,
and they didn't get paid
what they deserved.
Well, at least they got paid.
BONNIE: The important thing is
they didn't give up.
They kept trying till things got better
and that's what makes them special,
not where they are now, but the spirit
that kept them going on the way there.
-She's a Young Achiever.
-I'm an American.
That's what we all are,
and Americans don't give up.
-(KYLE SIGHS)
-Maybe I can walk down to the gas station,
and I'll get a patch to fix that tire.
I'm gonna get that top
up on if it kills me.
-All right.
-Hey, we can get the tire off.
-I'll check the trunk for tools.
-KYLE: Okay.
I'll be going with you, Bobby,
and not left waitin' in the car.
I better go, too.
I have to go call the Young Achievers.
If I get in trouble for leaving
the field trip, my dad will give me his
"You're not gonna get
into med school" speech.
Well, thanks for helping out, Bonnie.
I mean, you being here.
Kinda makes me think
I haven't lost all my luck.
Do you mean that?
Or is it just blarney?
BONNIE: Hey, wait up, Mr. Johnson.
What?
Do you still think we can get
our luck back, Grandda?
I don't want to be lyin' to ya, boyo.
It'd take a miracle to catch Seamus now.
-Well, at least it stopped raining.
-Hey, look. There's a rainbow.
Hey, maybe there's a pot of gold
at the end of it.
(LAUGHS)
Come on, boys!
-Where are we going?
-I don't know!
Where are we going?
To the end of the rainbow!
What?
-(PANTING)
-Hey, you okay, Grandda?
You can't get to the end of a rainbow.
Well, I could, if I was
only 200 years younger.
No, the rainbow's just the sunlight
refracted in the clouds. There's no end.
You some kind of scientist?
I'd like to be one someday.
Yes, well, I'm a leprechaun,
so don't tell me about rainbows.
Hey, look over there!
Come on!
(CELTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(ALL SINGING FOLK SONG)
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Slainte.
They must've stopped
to celebrate or something.
I'll give 'em somethin' to celebrate.
You boys wait here.
I'll slip in and get our luck back.
I'll get it.
Your ma would never forgive me if I was
to allow you to go into a place like that.
Look, it's my responsibility.
Keep your eyes peeled.
(SINGING)
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road
(WHISPERING) Hey, there it is.
It's locked.
-How did you do that?
-It's a leprechaun thing.
-Ah, it's our luck.
-That it is, Kyle boy. Our lucky day.
This is my coin. I can tell.
It's like this weird feeling.
You can never tell
about feelings, you know.
So why don't we just
take the whole lot of it to be certain?
Come on. Give me a hand with the pot, boy.
What? Whoa. Grandda,
you can't take it all. It's not ours.
What? You think
that dirty thief deserves it?
And he surely stole it from
poor leprechauns like ourselves.
Well, we don't know that for sure.
And if he did steal it,
we should tell the police.
Are you daft, boy? Calling in the peelers,
when all this gold's
just lying there for the taking?
-You mean stealing.
-I mean seizing the opportunity.
In Dublin's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheeled her wheelbarrow
Through streets wide and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels
Alive, alive-o
Alive, alive-o
Alive, alive-o
Crying cockles and mussels
Alive, alive-o
The streets aren't paved with gold, Kyle.
You have to take it where you can find it.
If you'd struggled as I did
when I first came to this country...
We didn't come to America to steal.
We came here to work hard, get ahead
and make something of ourselves.
"We" now, is it?
Sure an' it's worth a pot of gold
to hear you count yourself
among the Little People.
Even such a big, lovely pot as this.
(SIGHING)
(BOTH YELL)
Run, Kyle! Run! Run! Run!
Run away!
O'Reilly!
(SCREAMS)
Grandpa?
Grandpa?
Ha! I've got him by the beard, boyo!
And no leprechaun can get away from that.
Kyle!
And you'll not be gettin' away either.
Now give me that lucky coin,
and maybe I'll let the old man go.
-Don't trust him Kyle. He's a fear daraig.
-Quiet!
Fear daraig... I'll make a bet with you.
A wager, is it?
What exactly did you have in mind?
I bet that I can beat you.
Beat me what? Video games, is it?
-TV trivia?
-Sports.
If I beat you at sports,
you let my granddad go
and I get to keep my lucky coin.
But if you don't beat me,
then the coin is mine.
And no more of this chasin' after me.
-Okay.
-Well, you've got yourself a wager.
Hey, what's going on, Kyle?
Where are we, and what are we wearing?
It's hurling, Kyle!
Grandda?
-Watch out for the sliotar!
-The what?
The sliotar!
Man, what are we doing here?
Sports.
(GRUNTING)
ALL: Wow!
(LAUGHS)
(GROANING)
(MEN CHEER)
KYLE: Look, I bet Seamus
I could beat him at sports.
RUSSELL: Man, sports are
more like football, baseball, basketball.
(LAUGHING)
You may have gotten lucky at hurling,
but you'll not be beating me
at throwing of the chariot wheel.
What kind of sports are these, anyway?
Do you know
nothing at all o' your heritage?
It's the Tailteann Games that
were played in Ireland for 3,000 years.
Oh. Those games.
(GRUNTING)
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
What do I do now?
(SCREAMING)
Punt!
(LAUGHS)
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Yes.
Do you know why I want that coin?
-Does it have anything to do with greed?
-Ha! It's power.
Power, boyo, is what I'm after.
Taking the luck from
every leprechaun in America.
It's I that'll have power
over the lot of ya.
Kyle's on the wrestling team at school.
Well, it's just junior high.
(SEAMUS LAUGHING)
It's a king we had in Ireland,
and it's a king I'll be,
king of the leprechauns.
Yeah? Well, in America, we don't believe
in kings. We believe in baseball.
-Yes!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
Without your luck, there'll be
no more denying what you are.
You'll see how welcome you are in America
when you're the Little People again
and different from everyone else.
Then it's back to the land of Eire,
back to the old country and the old ways!
(PANTING)
(LAUGHTER)
This is the last of the sports. If Kyle
doesn't win this one, it's all over.
-But dancing's not a sport.
-It is in Ireland.
I am the Saint of the Step!
What sort of step is that?
It's my step.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS)
I'll have that coin now, boyo.
-What are you talking about? We tied.
-We said, if you didn't beat me at sports,
the coin was mine.
Well, a tie is not beating me,
so hand it over.
-Man, what a cheat!
-He's a devil for twisting words about.
He'd make a liar tell the truth.
The coin, boyo,
or I'll have to be getting rough with you.
(SIGHS)
What about my grandda?
You said you'd let him go.
I said I might let him go. Or I might
just make him my slave forever!
-I bet I can beat you without my luck.
-What?
I bet I can beat you at basketball
even without my lucky coin.
You've got nothing left to bet, boyo.
If I lose, I'll be your slave.
Oh, no! Don't do it, Kyle, boy!
And if you win,
you get your luck back, is that it?
Yeah.
You're not gonna trust this guy again,
aren't you, Kyle?
Now, none of that.
We're all good Irishmen here.
Irishmen.
Yeah. Okay, so if I win...
If I win, I get my coin back,
and you'll live forever
in the land of my fathers
and never leave the shores of Erie again.
Done.
(CROWD CHEERING)
ALL: Go, team, go!
(COACH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Where were you guys?
In Ireland.
-Look, we're here now, all right?
-Yeah, okay.
You get out there
and take the tip-off, Kyle.
Let's get the lead and keep it.
We're not going into double overtime!
ALL: Yeah!
-One, two, three!
-Go, Eagles!
KYLE: Hey, this is kind of weird.
How'd we end up here?
Maybe you should ask him.
Do you recognize this, boyo?
-It's your luck I'm wearing.
-Isn't he a little old for junior high?
Let's just play ball, boys.
-Look, there's your grandda.
-REILLY: Kyle!
No! No!
Transition, quickly!
Get down and cover your man.
Yeah! Hello, old man!
-(LAUGHING)
-(GRUNTING)
Make a run for it, Kyle,
before it's too late.
-Put it in, Kyle, let's go!
-I'm not gonna give up now.
Look, I can beat Seamus
if I try hard enough!
Kyle, throw it in!
You can't do it without your luck.
You'll lose, Kyle!
You'll be a slave forever!
Let's go!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Transition, quickly!
Come on!
Come on. We're gonna get this back now.
We're close.
I'm open! I'm open!
(LAUGHS)
-(GROANING)
-REILLY: Russell! Russell!
Mr. O'Reilly?
Take this lucky coin
and don't ask where it come from.
-Oh, great. I'll give it to Kyle.
-Oh, no, no! No, it won't work for Kyle.
It's a special coin just for you.
Well, hey, thanks!
(ALL CHANT)
A boy who believes in leprechauns
will believe anything!
Bring it in, Russell! Bring it in!
Let's get it back!
I'm open! I'm open!
Yeah, Russ!
-Way to go, man!
-Hey, look, it's not just me.
Your grandfather gave me this lucky coin.
-Excuse me.
-There's Kyle!
Seamus!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
It's okay, son. Good foul. Good foul.
When we get the rebound,
we'll bring it back to you. Let's go.
Look! There's Da!
Why did you give Russell that coin?
I thought you could use a little help.
-The way you've been playing.
-But it's fake, isn't it?
Sure, it is fake, but I wouldn't be
telling him that if I were you.
It's confidence the boy be wanting,
not some lucky coin.
Oh, he's got all the luck he needs
right in here.
Yeah. The luck's inside him.
And mine's inside me.
The luck of the Irish.
Come on, Kyle! Come on! Get in the game!
-Come on!
-COACH: Make a statement!
Oh, give it up, boyo, you're a leprechaun.
A leprechaun's nothing without his luck!
Nobody's nothing!
(CHEERS)
Yeah!
Yeah!
-That wasn't luck!
-Yeah!
COACH: Yeah, yeah, yeah! All right!
-Whoo-hoo!
-Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
I touched the rim!
Hey!
Ooh!
Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING)
One more and you've got it!
Give me the ball!
Ball!
(GRUNTING)
I am the Saint of the Step.
King of the leprechauns!
You'll never beat me!
(ALL CHEERING)
That's my son!
No!
MAN: You all right, Seamus? Man, get up.
You all right there, boyo?
REILLY: You lost to the boy, Seamus.
He beat you fair and square.
Now it's time to have our luck back.
Lost, is it? Lost what?
This? I've still got
a pot of gold on the bus.
And 10 times that hidden away in a cave.
KYLE: Do you remember the rest of our bet?
Oh, I remember it, boyo! Word for word.
It's home you're sending me,
to live forever in Ireland.
(LAUGHING)
I'll be king of the leprechauns yet.
And then I'll settle with you,
and the clan O'Reilly!
-I said the shores of Erie.
-Would you at least learn how to say it?
The land of your fathers
isn't "Erie," boyo. It's Eire.
My father's from Cleveland.
(GASPS)
(GROANING)
Ohio!
(WAILS)
To live forever
within the shores of Lake Erie.
Heh! Sure hope he can swim better
than he plays basketball.
(ALL CHEERING)
Luck's got nothing to do with it.
I'm proud of you, son.
(ALL CHEERING)
Bonnie, where have you been?
Did your daughter not tell you
she's been all day
interviewing for our scholarship program?
-Scholarship?
-From Emerald Isle potato chips.
Why, Bonnie's at the top of our list
for a full college scholarship.
After she finishes high school, of course.
Bonnie, you should have told me.
Except there's one thing
that might keep her from getting it.
You see, we like our scholars
to be well-rounded.
Does she not play some sort of sport?
MR. LOPEZ: Sport? Oh, yes!
She's going to play basketball next year.
Is that right, Bonnie?
Whatever you say, Dad.
Well, you've got
one lucky girl there, Mr. Lopez.
But aren't we all lucky
to be living in so grand a country
where anything is possible?
Yeah!
(IRISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Well, I'm really proud
of my mom's family and my Irish heritage,
but Americans come from all over,
not just one place, and so do I.
This land is your land
This land is my land
From California
To the New York island
BOTH: From the redwood forest
To the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and me
As I was walking
That ribbon of highway
I saw above me that endless skyway
I saw below me
That golden valley
This land was made for you and me
This land is your land
This land is my land
From California
To the New York Island
From the redwood forest
To the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and me
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
is different from everyone else.
That's easy to see. Just look.
But everyone is lucky enough
to have one thing in common,
one thing that binds everyone together...
(NATIVE AMERICAN MUSIC PLAYING)
Everyone has a heritage, a family history,
traditions handed down
from grandparents and great-grandparents.
Our next performer is Kyle Johnson.
Kyle?
Hey, I'm down here!
Kyle?
(WHISPERING) Kyle?
KYLE: But what if I'm not that lucky?
What if I'm the only person
who doesn't have a heritage?
What if I'm different?
I said I'm down here!
Can't you see me?
Kyle?
(SCREAMS)
-KATE: Kyle?
-(GASPS)
It's time to get ready for the game.
Go, Eagles!
I must have zoned out.
I had this weird dream about this
heritage thing that's going on at school.
Pre-game anxiety. Everybody get's it.
I used to dream I was at the game
wearing nothing but my underwear,
and I was just in the band.
You'll do fine, Kyle. You always do.
Here, have some yogurt and a fruit bar.
It will help you keep your energy up.
That sounds good.
I might have some of that myself.
Where's our family from, Dad?
-We're from right here, son.
-No, where do we come from?
You know, what's our heritage?
We moved here from Cleveland.
We're Americans, Kyle.
That's all the heritage we need.
BOB: Hey, come on, Kyle,
you're gonna be late for the game!
-Let's go.
-Don't forget to wear your lucky coin.
KYLE: I had this really weird feeling,
like there was something
they weren't telling me.
This was the first time
our school had ever made it
to the state basketball playoffs.
Get over, Russell! Find your shot.
KYLE: Tonight was the quarter-finals.
We were going
all the way this year. State champions.
(GROANING)
And I was the reason why.
Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Everything was going my way.
I was one lucky guy.
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
-Dude, that was a lucky shot.
-Hey, luck's got nothing to do with it.
You're looking good, Kyle.
I taught him everything he knows.
(CROWD CHEERING)
-Hey, Kyle.
-Hi, Bonnie.
You know I'm in charge
of the Heritage Day committee.
You're in charge of,
like, every committee.
I mean, somebody's gotta do it.
I'm putting together the program
and wanted to know
what you're gonna do for Heritage Day.
I don't know. I mean, you know, this whole
Heritage Day thing,
it's like so public television.
-It's your history.
-Yeah, but I mean, history...
You know, it's like so 10 minutes ago.
Now, sports. That's what's happenin' now.
That's where I'm comin' from.
That's right.
Well, even if you are some kind of
mindless jock, you still got a heritage.
-Mindless?
-America is a nation of immigrants, Kyle.
Everybody's ancestors
came from another country.
Yeah. I'm part Cherokee.
So where's your family from?
Is Johnson an English name?
Or did they change it
from Johansson or something?
-Uh, we're from Cleveland.
-Ha-ha. Very funny.
-Now, come on, you know what I mean.
-(BELL RINGING)
Look, uh, I've got a test, okay?
See you guys later.
Ugh. Jocks.
(BELL RINGS)
TEACHER: Time's up, people!
Put your test papers on my desk
on your way out, please.
Thank you.
You'd be better off
leaving 'em blank, Kyle.
Remember, I subtract points
for wrong answers.
-Summer school.
-(BOTH CHUCKLING)
I do it specifically to discourage
what you just did.
Guessing at the answers.
You know, in real life, you can't depend
on luck to make up for not knowing.
These answers are all correct.
-This looks great.
-Thanks.
So, is this like Italian food
or something?
It's something I saw
in Eat Smart magazine.
-Why?
-Oh, I just thought, you know,
maybe it was, like, an old family recipe.
You're lucky your mom makes you
such healthy meals, Kyle.
It's probably why
you're such a good athlete.
Kyle just has a natural talent for sports.
KYLE: Yeah, it's probably genetic.
I mean, I bet, if you go back far enough,
we've had great athletes
in our family for generations.
You know, great soccer players, maybe?
Or, uh, cross-country skiers?
Or...
Bullfighters?
You better eat your salad.
You don't want the oil to separate.
-Uh, yeah, Dad.
-Yeah.
Um, I was talking with the girl
in charge of the Heritage Day committee...
KATE: Is it Bonnie Lopez?
She's always in charge of everything.
-I know!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
Yeah. Anyways, she says that everyone's
family comes from somewhere else.
I mean, if you go back far enough
we couldn't have always
lived in Cleveland.
Unless we're Indians.
But we're not Indians, are we?
I don't think so.
Okay, then, what are we?
Where do we come from?
I think your great-grandfather
moved there from Mount Buffalo.
No, Dad. I mean, before that.
Before we came to America.
Why are you so interested
in your family all of a sudden?
I don't know. I mean,
with Heritage Day coming up,
I don't want to be
the only kid who doesn't know what he is.
You're Kyle Johnson.
You're a good student,
a good boy, a great athlete.
Just because some people are obsessed
with where their ancestors came from,
-doesn't mean you have to be, too.
-Mom, I'm not obsessed.
Being an individual
is what America's all about, Kyle.
Doesn't matter where you're from.
You can be anything you want to be.
KATE: Fresh ground pepper?
KYLE: There it was again. The feeling that
they were hiding something from me.
At school the next day,
I tried to find out what it was.
Actually, I'm looking for information
on my family. You know, my heritage.
(CHUCKLES)
KYLE: Man, there sure are
a lot of people named "Johnson."
Yeah, four million pages.
Maybe you should narrow
that search down a little.
Uh, why don't you start with your father,
and trace your family back that way?
-I tried, but I couldn't find him.
-Did you look in Cleveland?
(SIGHS)
-Here, move over, let me try.
-You don't have to help me.
I'm head of the Heritage Day
committee, remember?
It's my job to help the heritage-impaired.
It's not important to me anyway.
I mean, so what if I'm from Germany,
or England, or whatever?
-It doesn't mean anything to me.
-Then why were you on the computer?
Okay, what about your mother's family?
-Where are they from?
-I don't know.
Well, half of your heritage
comes from her, you know.
Well, yeah, but, I never really thought
about my mom's family.
Well, what was her last name
before she got married?
Don't tell me, you don't even know
your mother's maiden name!
How are you ever gonna get a credit card?
Look, if you really want to find out
about your family heritage,
you might try talking to your parents.
They are your family.
(SIGHS)
I couldn't tell Bonnie that I thought
my mom and dad
were hiding something from me.
That day after school, it got weirder.
The first weird thing
was my dad's old high school yearbook.
He wasn't in it.
At least, Bob Johnson wasn't in it.
Robert Smith?
-Bob Smith?
-KATE: Kyle?
Oh. Hi, Mom.
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
Um...
-I'm gonna go shoot some hoops.
-Okay. Don't be late for supper.
I'm making stir-fry.
Why would he change his name
from Smith to Johnson?
I mean, if you're gonna change your name,
at least change it
to something interesting.
Or, you know what?
Maybe he didn't pick it.
Maybe it was the FBI or something,
like they gave him a new identity.
No, man. You gotta be like a hit man or
something before they'll let you do that.
No.
Man, how do you make those shots?
You know what?
Maybe they were, like, these
big radicals in the '60s, you know?
And they had to go underground?
Yeah, or you know what?
Maybe they're really aliens,
and they got stranded on Earth,
when their spaceship crashed.
(GRUNTS)
You just touched the rim!
Yeah, I did. (CHUCKLES)
My dad measures me every week
to see if I'm getting taller.
Then he measures my vertical jump.
Man, if I could touch the rim...
Man, you sure are lucky.
What does luck have to do
with how high you can jump?
You're the luckiest guy in school, Kyle,
everybody knows it.
You know what, I think it's
because of that lucky charm.
-Maybe it really works.
-What, this?
Nah, this is just something
my mom gave me when I was a baby.
Hey, check it out! Somebody lost 10 bucks!
Luck and a half, man. You're always
finding money lying in the street.
Hey, we're a team, all right?
I'll split it with you.
Cool.
Hey, man. Check it out.
Hey, you know what?
I saw that guy on TV once.
No, no, no. The thing behind him.
It's the same as my coin.
I thought it was, like,
Chinese or something.
Hey, you know what?
I think this guy's Irish.
Maybe my mom's Irish.
(KIDS SCREAM)
MAN: Top o' the morning to you.
Top o' the morning to you.
Top o' the morning to you. Hi.
(LAUGHS)
Yo, the feet are the bomb,
but what's with the arms?
It's something called step dancing.
MAN: Step right up! Win a shamrock!
Come on, three balls!
Now, why wouldn't your mother
want you to know if she was Irish?
I don't know. I just get this really
weird feeling whenever I talk to her.
It's like they don't want me to know
anything about my heritage.
I didn't know you really cared
about heritage stuff.
Well, I don't. I mean, I didn't, anyway.
Now I feel like I'm missing something.
Yeah.
Top o' the morning to you.
Oh, sweetie, top o' the morning to you.
(SCREAMS)
-Ha, maybe I should read this.
-Look.
They have these good luck
thingies like yours.
Those are just, you know, fake.
Mine's real gold.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
You can always tell the real thing.
Yeah, I guess so.
Did you make those yourself,
or is it your ma still does it for you,
and you half-grown?
-You mean, my shoes?
-They're called basketball shoes, Sir.
Yeah, you buy them at a store.
At the store, is it? Oh!
KYLE: Yeah. Ow!
And what'll become of your feet
when the road becomes hard and stony?
Oh, look at this, boyo.
Good Irish leather.
Soft as a spring shower
and tough as a landlord's heart.
Hey! You can't put your feet up there.
Get the boys a bag of spuds.
Hey, how did you...
RUSSELL: Where'd he go?
(CROWD CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
Seamus McTiernan, Saint of the Step!
If you hail from the shores
of the Emerald Isle,
or wish you did,
if the blood in your veins
is as green as a shamrock
and your heart's full of blarney,
then the Saint of the Step loves you.
If you believe in the little people,
and you know that there's
a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow,
then you belong to the Saint of the Step.
(IRISH DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Man, is this bogus or what?
Kyle? Kyle?
Kyle, what are you doing?
I don't know. I can't help it!
(GRUNTS)
(CROWD CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
Sorry, kid.
(CHUCKLES)
Top o' the morning to you.
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
Aah! (GROANING)
(MOM SINGS)
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Ah, top o' the morning to you.
Did you do something to your hair, Mom?
I just thought I'd try
a more natural look.
Now, sit yourself down,
and I'll put your breakfast on the table.
-Is that bacon I smell?
-It is.
And I've a pair of hen's eggs
frying for each of you.
Bacon and eggs? Isn't that
a little heavy on the cholesterol?
KATE: It's time you put
some meat on your bones.
-Now, sit down, the two of you.
-Does Mom sound...
I mean, does Mom sound a wee bit...
I just said "a wee bit."
Yeah.
KATE: I've been thinking about
what you said, Kyle, about your heritage,
and there's something I have to tell you.
Uh, Kate, are you sure
this is the right time?
Oh, it's no use trying to hide it, Bobby.
It's about my family, Kyle.
-Kate, why don't we just go out...
-We're Irish.
Why didn't you guys tell me
about this before now?
Oh, I wanted to protect you, Kyle,
from the way it was
when the Irish first came to America.
From the jokes and the dirty jobs
nobody else would take,
and the signs in the shop windows
saying, "No Irish need apply."
I wanted you to be 100% American.
Mom, that Irish immigrant stuff
was like over 100 years ago, wasn't it?
I remember, when I was a little boy,
my mother used to make bacon and eggs
every morning for breakfast,
and we'd have white bread, toasted,
with a lot of margarine on it and then...
Hen's eggs and a rasher of bacon.
Potato cakes, bangers,
and a black-and-white pudding.
-What's black-and-white pudding?
-Blood sausage and pork sausage.
And I've packed
crubeens and colcannon for your lunch.
It's really weird, you know?
At first, it's like she's trying to hide
where her family's from,
and now she's cooking all this Irish food,
and she's even talking funny.
Okay, so what about your dad
changing his name?
It really doesn't seem like
it's such a big deal now, you know?
I mean, at least I know I got
a heritage, you know?
At least I know I'm...
-Hey! Some green.
-Every day!
KYLE: Yep!
I guess it must be the luck of the Irish.
That was the beginning
of the unluckiest day of my life.
I lost my homework. It must have fallen...
(LAUGHTER)
Hey, looking good.
What's up, Kyle? Did you eat already?
I lost my lunch.
Yeah, and on your pants, too.
That's nasty.
Well, I was gonna, you know,
buy my lunch, but I lost my money.
You want some chips? They're Emerald Isle.
Look, that's never happened to me,
Russell, all right?
I can't remember
losing anything ever in my whole life.
Look, it is just bad luck.
It happens to everybody.
Hey, Kyle, you want my dessert?
Chocolate makes me break out.
Yeah.
Well, so much for bad luck.
MAN: Into the hoop! Yeah, that's the way!
-Hey, Kyle can touch the rim.
-No way, man.
Yeah, way, man, I saw him do it. Come on
Hey, Kyle!
Show 'em how you can touch the rim.
Yeah, Come on, Kyle!
BOY: Show 'em how to do it, Kyle.
RUSSELL: Okay. Come on. Do it!
(LAUGHTER)
Get a ladder, man,
you can't even get the net.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
COACH: All right, let's line up, guys.
Tonight is the semi-final
of the state tournament.
You win tonight, you make history.
The first time this school
has ever had a basketball team
make it to the championship game.
(ALL CHEER)
All right, all right, listen up.
There's no running on game days.
To make sure everybody stays sharp,
I want everyone to make 10
foul shots before you go home.
That's make 'em, not take 'em.
Russell, start us off.
ALL: Come on. Let's go.
Any day now.
Look, you're trying too hard, Russ.
Just relax. Let it drop. (EXHALES)
End of the line, Kyle.
Let's keep it moving.
Let's keep it moving.
Ha! That's 10. Give me five more.
-So, how many you have left?
-Ten.
You haven't made any yet?
Man, I've never seen you go
ice-cold like this.
Yeah, That's because
I've never been ice-cold.
You want me to hang
till you make your shots?
(SIGHS) Nah, man, It's cool.
-I'll catch up with you at the game.
-Sure.
(SIGHS)
I think you need
a little more arc in that shot.
I just lost my temper for a second.
I don't want to perpetuate a stereotype,
but they say the Irish are
a little hotheaded.
-How did you know I was Irish?
-Russell told me.
So, what are you gonna
do for Heritage Day?
I saw some Irish dancing
over the weekend. Maybe I could do that.
You're gonna learn to step dance
between now and Heritage Day?
(SCOFFS) It didn't look that hard.
Well, everything's easy for you, isn't it?
What's wrong with you?
Are you mad about something?
I've known you a long time, Kyle.
You're a nice guy and all that,
but you'd be a better person
if everything hadn't always been
so easy for you.
Look at basketball, the last game.
You guys were out-played,
but you won because you got lucky.
The state championship
isn't supposed to be
something you just luck into.
Look, just because you know everything
does not mean
you know anything about basketball.
Lucky shot.
That wasn't luck.
That was practice. You know, hard work?
What do you mean, practice?
You don't even play basketball.
It was the perfect ending
for the worst day of my life.
Too bad it wasn't over yet.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Boo!
(BOOING)
-Come on! Get him outta the game!
-(GRUNTING)
(IN IRISH ACCENT) You can do it, boyo!
Come on, Kyle!
(CHEERLEADERS CHANTING)
Way to go, Drake!
No!
I'm open! I'm open!
(GRUNTING)
Take him out, Coach!
Aw, man!
(CROWD BOOING)
KYLE: It was like I never played before.
It was awful. I couldn't even make a shot.
And half the time,
I missed the rim completely.
I just...
-BOB: Everyone has an off night, Kyle.
-I never did before.
The important thing is your team won.
You're going to the finals!
Yeah, thanks to Drake!
He played a great game,
especially after Coach took me out.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
You don't need to be playing basketball.
You should be hurling!
Mom, I'm not sick, I just played lousy.
(SIGHS)
Are you sure you're feeling all right?
I might drink a bit
of a warm bonnyclabber before I go to bed.
(ALARM CLOCK RINGING)
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Do you smell something, Da? I mean, Dad.
BOB: It smells like something's burning.
Ah, boys. There's nothing like a peat fire
to put the taste of Eire
in your breakfast.
(COUGHS)
(COUGHING)
(COUGHS)
My dad says if we don't win tonight,
he's gonna adopt the other team.
Hey, you look shorter.
I think maybe I'm having a growth-spurt.
No, I'm just, uh,
packing on a little weight.
My mom's on this Irish kick.
We had spuds again... I mean, potatoes.
Hey, maybe that's why they blocked
so many of my shots last night.
-I wasn't getting enough vertical jump.
-You were moving okay. Like you always do.
So, you think everybody's gonna be
ticked at me 'cause I played so lousy?
Look, they're not gonna
turn on you over one game.
Besides, we're still going to the Finals.
Yeah.
-Just so pathetic.
-Loser.
You loser.
-Nice.
-Way to choke, Johnson.
BOY: Hey, watch me touch the rim!
Hey, looking good, girls.
Oh, look, there's Drake.
Hi, Drake. Great game.
Drake's so hot!
Well, he did play a great game.
-Hey, Kyle. I just wanna...
-I gotta go to class.
Sorry.
(BELL RINGING)
Can anyone tell me
what a magnet is? Holly!
A piece of iron that attracts
another piece of iron.
Good, but a magnet
doesn't just attract iron.
Man, one bad game,
and I feel like I'm nobody.
Kyle, since you feel like talking,
why don't you tell us what three kinds
of metal are attracted by a magnet?
Uh,
iron and...
Anyone? Russell?
-Iron, cobalt and nickel.
-Very good.
Iron, cobalt and nickel.
Now, take your magnet and one
of the metal objects in front of you.
If that object is attracted to the magnet,
then it must contain
either iron, cobalt or nickel.
(CLANKS)
I thought you said that was solid gold.
-It is.
-Magnets don't lie, man.
No, no. This is different.
This isn't my lucky coin.
Look, I've got to call my mom, all right?
I bet that coin was like
a family heirloom or something.
That's probably why
she wanted me to wear it.
No, that's probably why you had
such a bad game last night.
Somebody must have stolen it.
Oh, for the love of Mike!
-Kyle! Kyle, I need to talk to you.
-Look, I'm a little busy right now.
-He lost his lucky charm.
-What?
It's a gold coin.
It's probably, like, 100 years old.
-Got it.
-That's just a quarter.
-Does he look shorter to you?
-No. He just bulked up.
There's something wrong
with this stupid phone.
Look, Kyle, I have to go. I'm going
on a field trip with the Young Achievers,
And I just wanted to say,
I hope nothing I said yesterday
threw you off your game.
-You know, about you being lazy.
-Lazy? You never said I was lazy!
I mean, all that other stuff
about everything being too easy for you,
about not deserving to win
the state championship.
Whoa! Check out that hair!
Man, my dad won't let me dye mine.
He got this thing about Dennis Rodman.
Tonight's the state championship, man.
If you cut school without an excuse,
the coach might not let you play.
An excuse?
Okay, first I find out I've been robbed,
now my hair's turning red...
Hey, I used to be taller than you.
(IN IRISH ACCENT)
Saints preserve us! I am getting shorter!
Mom, Dad, there's something wrong...
There's something
your mother and I need to tell you, son.
I'm a leprechaun, Kyle.
Huh?
Mom?
I know it's hard to believe, Kyle.
I mean, when I first met your mother...
-You're not a leprechaun, too?
-No. No. I'm from Cleveland.
We'd have told you sooner, Kyle,
but we wanted you to grow up
like a normal American boy.
But then when I started to have
this wee little spell...
-Mom, you're a foot tall.
-Oh, it could be worse, believe me.
It's probably just an allergic reaction.
Boiled potatoes, something like that.
I don't think you have
any reason to worry.
What?
Me? You mean, I'm a leprechaun, too?
And what else would you be?
And you, with the blood of the Clan
O'Reilly rushin' about in your veins.
Doesn't mean you can't lead
a perfectly normal life, Kyle.
-Normal? Normal?
-Yes.
Dad, look at my hair.
And I'm getting shorter.
You don't look short to me.
-How does it look, Da?
-Maybe an inch... Or two.
Two inches? Dad, you said this was like
an allergic reaction or something.
(SIGHS)
-How long does it take to wear off?
-Well...
Actually, it's never happened before.
(FLUTE MUSIC PLAYING)
According to your mother,
as long as the O'Reillys have their luck,
every member of the clan can pass
as a normal human.
Ordinary size, all of that.
Of course, I'm not really sure
how it all works.
Well, okay, okay.
Well, maybe that's the trouble with Mom.
-I mean, maybe we're just out of luck.
-No. No. That can't be the problem.
Well, how do you know?
Your lucky coin.
That's the luck of the clan O'Reilly.
(FLUTE CONTINUES PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Mom. Mom. I lost my lucky coin.
What's this about losing your coin,
when it's hangin' about your very neck?
Look. It's not mine. It's fake.
Somebody must have switched it
with the real one.
(WHISPERING) The dirty thief!
It's nothin' but a bit of iron
and gold paint on it.
-Are you saying somebody stole your coin?
-I bet it was this really weird old guy
me and Russell talked to
at The Luck of the Irish,
You know, that Seamus McTiernan
dancing thing?
Yeah, I bet he was like
a pickpocket or something.
Wasn't that show at the fairgrounds?
You know you're not supposed to
go there without asking us.
Look, Dad. I just wanted
to learn about my heritage.
KATE: You can't blame him, Bobby,
and we not telling him the truth.
Now, what's this about an old man?
Gray in the hair, was he?
Yeah, I mean, he started walking up to us
and talking about his shoes.
Said he made them himself.
Was it a snake he had
on the sole of his shoe?
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
The miserable old sinner to play
such a trick! And you his own grandson!
-He was my grandfather?
-BOB: Your grandfather O'Reilly.
KATE: And may his name
be cursed for a liar.
Oh, I'll not let him get away with it,
If I have to pry the coin
out of his thieving fingers myself.
And he me own Da.
I knew we should've moved as soon as
they built that new potato chip factory.
We were bound to run into him sometime.
-You mean Emerald Isle's?
-Yes. It's he that owns the whole company,
and still can't stew oatmeal
without burning it.
Come along, boys.
And we'll shame him with what he's done!
Uh...
(GRUNTING)
Honey, I think maybe I should drive.
Yeah.
(KATE GRUNTING)
Kate, I think you should wait in the car.
You might attract attention.
That's how it was
when we first came to this country, hmm?
People looking down on ya
'cause you're a bit different.
Um, Mom,
am I gonna get as small as you are?
Ah, you're only half-leprechaun, Kyle.
It'll be days before
you're down to this size.
Plenty of time for me to make you
some wee little ghillies for your feet.
Don't worry, Kyle.
We'll get your coin back.
(IN IRISH ACCENT) He says he's married
to Mr. O'Reilly's daughter.
Right.
(SIGHS)
(IN IRISH ACCENT) The tour group is here.
Son, relax. Just listen to me,
everything is gonna be fine.
If my grandda is right...
I mean, Granddad...
Why don't I ever get to see him?
Because I'm not...
Because I'm not a leprechaun,
and they don't believe in mixed marriages.
That's why we had to leave Cleveland.
We even changed our names,
so Kate's family couldn't find us.
Well, if you and Mom,
love each other, why should it matter?
Well, sometimes leprechauns
can be small-minded.
Come on.
Right, sir. I'll handle it.
Mr. O'Reilly says
he doesn't have a daughter
and for you to go away
and not to be bothering him again.
I'm not leaving here
until I see Mr. O'Reilly.
(BOTH SCREAM)
Are you okay, Da?
All right, Kyle. We're not giving up.
Just gonna talk a little strategy
with your mother, that's all.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
WOMAN: Oh, look at them. You look so nice.
On behalf of our president
and founder, Mr. Reilly O'Reilly,
I'd like to say welcome to Emerald Isle.
Uh, if you follow me,
we'll begin the tour.
Please stay with the group at all times.
Some of the machinery can be dangerous.
Now, the potato chip
was invented in the late 1800s
when a cook accidentally
sliced some potatoes too thin
and discovered they turned crisp
when he fried them.
As you can see,
we've come a long way since then.
Are there any questions so far?
-Yes?
-Will we get to meet Mr. O'Reilly?
Oh, no! Mr. O'Reilly is far too busy
to be seeing us today.
Where's his office?
It's in another part of the building.
Now, if you'll follow me, we'll first see
how the potatoes are washed.
-What are you doing here?
-Shh. Come on.
You're not a Young Achiever.
-I have to talk to Mr. O'Reilly.
-Why?
Remember how I told you
my coin was stolen?
Well, I think he's the one that took it.
He's like a millionaire.
Why would he steal your coin?
Because he's my grandfather.
Why would your grandfather
steal your coin?
Do you have to know everything?
He and my mom don't really get along,
and I guess he did it to get back at her.
I think we have intruders.
(ALARM BLARING)
Come on!
Come on!
Why is your grandfather
mad at your mother?
-Because she married my father.
-Why doesn't he like your father?
-Because he's not a leprechaun.
-What?
-We've got 'em!
-Come on!
(PANTING)
-Get in!
-Go!
(BONNIE SCREAMS)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING) Let go!
(YELLS)
Kyle!
(SCREAMING)
Better not take this one, boys.
I think it's my grandson.
(GROANS)
I thought I was baked!
A good boy like you
has got nothing to fear from the oven.
BONNIE: (YELLS) Kyle!
Kyle, are you all right?
Yeah. At least I found my grandda.
Oh. Oh, Kyle.
What?
Oh, no! I'm turning into a Vulcan! Oh!
-Sidney.
-Mr. O'Reilly.
You'll feel better
after having a lie down in me office.
Better yet, make yourself a pair of shoes.
It's good for the soul.
When you make your own shoes,
you're the master of your feet.
KYLE: I don't wanna make a pair of shoes,
and I don't wanna be a leprechaun.
Oh, there's no use railing
against what you are, boyo.
If green's just not your color,
then why don't you put your coin back on?
Or has your ma not told you, it's the coin
that lets you pass for human?
Look. I don't have
my coin, all right? You do.
You took my real coin
and switched it with this fake one
so I wouldn't know about it.
I did no such thing, boyo.
And I'll not have you blacken my name
by saying I did. Huh!
I'll wager it's your ma who took it
to turn you against me.
It's a traitor she is,
and to her own people.
My mom doesn't have the coin.
She's changing faster than I am.
She's this tall!
Really?
Is it truly stolen?
Fine. None of your ma's tricks.
Oh, no. No. No. It can't be.
Why, without our luck,
the O'Reilly clan would start to...
Am I lookin' a bit green?
(SIGHS)
And my trousers could use a roll.
Why aren't you getting short
as fast as my mom did?
It's not easy for an old man to change.
What does Kyle's lucky coin have to do
with everybody turning into a leprechaun?
It's not Kyle's luck.
It's the luck of the clan O'Reilly.
It's all that's held us together
for 1,000 years and more.
A thousand years of invasion and
oppression, being forced from the land.
A thousand years
of stony fields and famine,
saying goodbye forever
as you get on a boat for a distant shore.
Now, when we've finally
made it, here in America
and are just about to have
all our luck, you've lost it!
Well, why did I have to wear it, huh?
Why not you or Mom?
You're the youngest member
of the clan O'Reilly
and it's always the young
that have all the luck.
(SCOFFS)
I might as well go lie down in the gutter.
It's nothing but bankruptcy
and ruin for the O'Reillys
now that our clan is out of luck.
Hey, luck isn't everything. I mean,
it wasn't luck that built this factory.
Oh, a lot you know.
And I might still be a short-order chef
if it had not been
for a bit of luck one day
when I sliced the spuds too thin.
Are you saying you invented
the potato chip?
That was over 100 years ago.
This is all my fault.
I mean, everything was going great until
I started trying to find out what I was.
Now I've got red hair and pointy ears.
I wish I never
would've found out anything.
I wish I didn't have a heritage.
-There must be something you could do.
-(IRISH FLUTE PLAYING)
If your coin was stolen,
you can go to the police.
Oh, yeah, and tell them I'm a leprechaun,
and I've lost my luck? Yeah, right!
Do you have to do that?
Of course I do. I'm Irish.
That's how I manifest despair.
Kyle!
No, no, no! I'm not Irish.
I'm an American!
Maybe I wasn't the only person that got
robbed at that Luck of the Irish thing.
Maybe they already
caught the guy who did it.
I'm sure we can talk to Seamus McTiernan.
What? That paddywhacker?
That stage Irishman
with his neon shamrocks
and his heart-full-of-blarney rubbish?
Why didn't you tell me
it was at his show you lost your coin?
I'd have known it was him
that stole our luck.
-I didn't say it was him.
-And who else would it be?
And him a fear daraig.
As plain as I'm standing here.
BOTH: A what?
Kate! Kate! I can't find him anywhere.
I don't know where he is.
-KYLE: Da!
-Kyle!
I know who took my coin.
It was Seamus McTiernan.
Granddad says he's like
a fear daraig leprechaun.
-He says they're all thieves and liars.
-Oh, really?
No, O'Reilly. Reilly O'Reilly.
And you must be Bobby.
-Yeah.
-KATE: Don't believe a word he says, Kyle.
It's he that took it to spite me.
(GROANING)
And it'd only be giving you
what you deserve, Kathleen O'Reilly,
for daring to marry
outside the Little People.
But I swear on my mother's grave,
it wasn't me that...
-(THUD)
-(GRUNTS)
KYLE: Ma!
Don't waste your sympathy on him, Kyle.
Swearing on his ma's grave
and she's still livin' in Sligo,
and healthy as a horse!
You are a fine one
to be callin' me a liar.
And did you not tell me
when you first met Bobby
that he hailed from the shores of Erie?
And you knowin' me ears
aren't what they used to be,
and I'd never guess
you meant some lake in Ohio.
You guys, that stuff's all in the past.
Can't you just forget about it?
-Forget the past?
-Yes.
The important thing is
what's happening now, today.
All right, we've got to get our luck back
before it's too late.
Well, maybe it's too late
to be objectin' to a marriage
and your boy all grown up now, like a man.
(SIGHS)
Well, I'll not be apologizing
for marrying Bob,
but I am sorry
for the trouble it caused ya.
Let bygones be bygones?
There's no time for formalities, boyo.
Seamus McTiernan
is making off with our luck.
-Come on. Let's after the thief.
-All right.
-Bonnie look, I gotta go.
-I'm going with you.
Well, what about the Young Achievers?
They're supposed to be about
seizing opportunities.
How often do you get an opportunity
where you can help a clan of leprechauns
get their luck back?
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
Besides I only joined the Young Achievers
because my parents made me.
I really wanted to play basketball.
But they said the Achievers would
look better on a college application.
(ENGINE STRUGGLING)
I guess it's my car we'll be taking.
Fasten your seat belts.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
So, Grandda,
am I going to grow a beard like that?
Oh, not for a good many years,
I'm glad to say.
Kyle? Hey? Hey, Kyle?
I wasn't sure if it...
Whoa! Check out those ears.
Are those real?
Are they getting worse?
Oh!
You okay? What's going on?
I think we've got enough people
in the car already.
Hey. It's that guy. But with a beard.
That's my grandda.
Kyle, it's not our way to be telling
the whole world all about us.
Would ya stop your jabberin'
and drive the car?
Can you not see that the road is clear?
-Mrs. Johnson?
-Hello, Russell.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
You wait here. I'm gonna check this out.
Be careful, Da.
Bobby. Bobby.
If you get into any trouble
with Seamus, try making a bet with him.
The fear daraig all go wild for gambling.
Thanks.
MAN: Yeah, let's get this thing set up.
(SCREAMS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMS)
-They're getting away!
-Don't let him... (GRUNTS)
Don't let him get away!
I saw it! There's a whole bunch of
gold coins in there! Come on!
(TIRES SCREECH)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(KATE SCREAMS)
Oh, you better hang on!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(SEAMUS LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
BOB: Keep your head...
What are you trying to do?
Reilly, you're gonna get us killed!
Why don't you give me some of that
corned beef and cabbage there, Patrick?
I'm always happy to share a meal
with a fellow leprechaun.
May the road rise up to meet ya,
and may it be a slippery one.
KYLE: Watch out!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Quick! Get the spare!
They're gettin' away!
I don't have a spare, Kyle.
-What?
-With all the good luck I've always had,
I never thought I'd be needing one.
(SIGHS)
Well, I've worked up quite an appetite.
That was the last of the corned beef, sir.
(BAGPIPE PLAYING)
Please, pl... (SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
You better get home.
You've got a big game tonight.
But, what about you?
You're the reason that we made it
to the State Finals.
I can't play looking like this.
I never could play anyway, not really.
I was only good because I was lucky.
Basketball isn't everything, Kyle.
I should know.
Well, I can't play baseball
or football either.
I meant sports isn't everything.
Look, I liked who I was, all right?
And that's who I wanna be.
We should've told you a long time ago.
I'm sorry, Kyle. That was our mistake.
It's okay, Da... Dad.
-Things could be worse, Kyle.
-Yeah? How?
Hey, give me a hand with this, Bobby.
I think it's stuck.
(ELECTRIC MOTOR STRAINING)
Come on.
It's no use, Grandda. It's just our luck.
It's almost enough to make you
homesick for Ireland.
If you had sense enough not to drive
without a spare tire!
Or, if you hadn't married me daughter,
none of this would've happened.
That has nothing...
It doesn't do any good
trying to blame each other.
I know this is miserable, but...
Please don't say
it could get worse. It might.
I was just gonna say that
everybody has bad luck,
but you can make it better
if you just keep trying.
I mean, when the Irish came to America,
things were tough.
And they had to work at jobs
other people wouldn't take,
and they didn't get paid
what they deserved.
Well, at least they got paid.
BONNIE: The important thing is
they didn't give up.
They kept trying till things got better
and that's what makes them special,
not where they are now, but the spirit
that kept them going on the way there.
-She's a Young Achiever.
-I'm an American.
That's what we all are,
and Americans don't give up.
-(KYLE SIGHS)
-Maybe I can walk down to the gas station,
and I'll get a patch to fix that tire.
I'm gonna get that top
up on if it kills me.
-All right.
-Hey, we can get the tire off.
-I'll check the trunk for tools.
-KYLE: Okay.
I'll be going with you, Bobby,
and not left waitin' in the car.
I better go, too.
I have to go call the Young Achievers.
If I get in trouble for leaving
the field trip, my dad will give me his
"You're not gonna get
into med school" speech.
Well, thanks for helping out, Bonnie.
I mean, you being here.
Kinda makes me think
I haven't lost all my luck.
Do you mean that?
Or is it just blarney?
BONNIE: Hey, wait up, Mr. Johnson.
What?
Do you still think we can get
our luck back, Grandda?
I don't want to be lyin' to ya, boyo.
It'd take a miracle to catch Seamus now.
-Well, at least it stopped raining.
-Hey, look. There's a rainbow.
Hey, maybe there's a pot of gold
at the end of it.
(LAUGHS)
Come on, boys!
-Where are we going?
-I don't know!
Where are we going?
To the end of the rainbow!
What?
-(PANTING)
-Hey, you okay, Grandda?
You can't get to the end of a rainbow.
Well, I could, if I was
only 200 years younger.
No, the rainbow's just the sunlight
refracted in the clouds. There's no end.
You some kind of scientist?
I'd like to be one someday.
Yes, well, I'm a leprechaun,
so don't tell me about rainbows.
Hey, look over there!
Come on!
(CELTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(ALL SINGING FOLK SONG)
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Slainte.
They must've stopped
to celebrate or something.
I'll give 'em somethin' to celebrate.
You boys wait here.
I'll slip in and get our luck back.
I'll get it.
Your ma would never forgive me if I was
to allow you to go into a place like that.
Look, it's my responsibility.
Keep your eyes peeled.
(SINGING)
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road to sweet athy
Hurroo, hurroo
While goin' the road
(WHISPERING) Hey, there it is.
It's locked.
-How did you do that?
-It's a leprechaun thing.
-Ah, it's our luck.
-That it is, Kyle boy. Our lucky day.
This is my coin. I can tell.
It's like this weird feeling.
You can never tell
about feelings, you know.
So why don't we just
take the whole lot of it to be certain?
Come on. Give me a hand with the pot, boy.
What? Whoa. Grandda,
you can't take it all. It's not ours.
What? You think
that dirty thief deserves it?
And he surely stole it from
poor leprechauns like ourselves.
Well, we don't know that for sure.
And if he did steal it,
we should tell the police.
Are you daft, boy? Calling in the peelers,
when all this gold's
just lying there for the taking?
-You mean stealing.
-I mean seizing the opportunity.
In Dublin's fair city
Where the girls are so pretty
I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
As she wheeled her wheelbarrow
Through streets wide and narrow
Crying cockles and mussels
Alive, alive-o
Alive, alive-o
Alive, alive-o
Crying cockles and mussels
Alive, alive-o
The streets aren't paved with gold, Kyle.
You have to take it where you can find it.
If you'd struggled as I did
when I first came to this country...
We didn't come to America to steal.
We came here to work hard, get ahead
and make something of ourselves.
"We" now, is it?
Sure an' it's worth a pot of gold
to hear you count yourself
among the Little People.
Even such a big, lovely pot as this.
(SIGHING)
(BOTH YELL)
Run, Kyle! Run! Run! Run!
Run away!
O'Reilly!
(SCREAMS)
Grandpa?
Grandpa?
Ha! I've got him by the beard, boyo!
And no leprechaun can get away from that.
Kyle!
And you'll not be gettin' away either.
Now give me that lucky coin,
and maybe I'll let the old man go.
-Don't trust him Kyle. He's a fear daraig.
-Quiet!
Fear daraig... I'll make a bet with you.
A wager, is it?
What exactly did you have in mind?
I bet that I can beat you.
Beat me what? Video games, is it?
-TV trivia?
-Sports.
If I beat you at sports,
you let my granddad go
and I get to keep my lucky coin.
But if you don't beat me,
then the coin is mine.
And no more of this chasin' after me.
-Okay.
-Well, you've got yourself a wager.
Hey, what's going on, Kyle?
Where are we, and what are we wearing?
It's hurling, Kyle!
Grandda?
-Watch out for the sliotar!
-The what?
The sliotar!
Man, what are we doing here?
Sports.
(GRUNTING)
ALL: Wow!
(LAUGHS)
(GROANING)
(MEN CHEER)
KYLE: Look, I bet Seamus
I could beat him at sports.
RUSSELL: Man, sports are
more like football, baseball, basketball.
(LAUGHING)
You may have gotten lucky at hurling,
but you'll not be beating me
at throwing of the chariot wheel.
What kind of sports are these, anyway?
Do you know
nothing at all o' your heritage?
It's the Tailteann Games that
were played in Ireland for 3,000 years.
Oh. Those games.
(GRUNTING)
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
What do I do now?
(SCREAMING)
Punt!
(LAUGHS)
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Yes.
Do you know why I want that coin?
-Does it have anything to do with greed?
-Ha! It's power.
Power, boyo, is what I'm after.
Taking the luck from
every leprechaun in America.
It's I that'll have power
over the lot of ya.
Kyle's on the wrestling team at school.
Well, it's just junior high.
(SEAMUS LAUGHING)
It's a king we had in Ireland,
and it's a king I'll be,
king of the leprechauns.
Yeah? Well, in America, we don't believe
in kings. We believe in baseball.
-Yes!
-(BOTH LAUGHING)
Without your luck, there'll be
no more denying what you are.
You'll see how welcome you are in America
when you're the Little People again
and different from everyone else.
Then it's back to the land of Eire,
back to the old country and the old ways!
(PANTING)
(LAUGHTER)
This is the last of the sports. If Kyle
doesn't win this one, it's all over.
-But dancing's not a sport.
-It is in Ireland.
I am the Saint of the Step!
What sort of step is that?
It's my step.
(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS)
I'll have that coin now, boyo.
-What are you talking about? We tied.
-We said, if you didn't beat me at sports,
the coin was mine.
Well, a tie is not beating me,
so hand it over.
-Man, what a cheat!
-He's a devil for twisting words about.
He'd make a liar tell the truth.
The coin, boyo,
or I'll have to be getting rough with you.
(SIGHS)
What about my grandda?
You said you'd let him go.
I said I might let him go. Or I might
just make him my slave forever!
-I bet I can beat you without my luck.
-What?
I bet I can beat you at basketball
even without my lucky coin.
You've got nothing left to bet, boyo.
If I lose, I'll be your slave.
Oh, no! Don't do it, Kyle, boy!
And if you win,
you get your luck back, is that it?
Yeah.
You're not gonna trust this guy again,
aren't you, Kyle?
Now, none of that.
We're all good Irishmen here.
Irishmen.
Yeah. Okay, so if I win...
If I win, I get my coin back,
and you'll live forever
in the land of my fathers
and never leave the shores of Erie again.
Done.
(CROWD CHEERING)
ALL: Go, team, go!
(COACH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Where were you guys?
In Ireland.
-Look, we're here now, all right?
-Yeah, okay.
You get out there
and take the tip-off, Kyle.
Let's get the lead and keep it.
We're not going into double overtime!
ALL: Yeah!
-One, two, three!
-Go, Eagles!
KYLE: Hey, this is kind of weird.
How'd we end up here?
Maybe you should ask him.
Do you recognize this, boyo?
-It's your luck I'm wearing.
-Isn't he a little old for junior high?
Let's just play ball, boys.
-Look, there's your grandda.
-REILLY: Kyle!
No! No!
Transition, quickly!
Get down and cover your man.
Yeah! Hello, old man!
-(LAUGHING)
-(GRUNTING)
Make a run for it, Kyle,
before it's too late.
-Put it in, Kyle, let's go!
-I'm not gonna give up now.
Look, I can beat Seamus
if I try hard enough!
Kyle, throw it in!
You can't do it without your luck.
You'll lose, Kyle!
You'll be a slave forever!
Let's go!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Transition, quickly!
Come on!
Come on. We're gonna get this back now.
We're close.
I'm open! I'm open!
(LAUGHS)
-(GROANING)
-REILLY: Russell! Russell!
Mr. O'Reilly?
Take this lucky coin
and don't ask where it come from.
-Oh, great. I'll give it to Kyle.
-Oh, no, no! No, it won't work for Kyle.
It's a special coin just for you.
Well, hey, thanks!
(ALL CHANT)
A boy who believes in leprechauns
will believe anything!
Bring it in, Russell! Bring it in!
Let's get it back!
I'm open! I'm open!
Yeah, Russ!
-Way to go, man!
-Hey, look, it's not just me.
Your grandfather gave me this lucky coin.
-Excuse me.
-There's Kyle!
Seamus!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
It's okay, son. Good foul. Good foul.
When we get the rebound,
we'll bring it back to you. Let's go.
Look! There's Da!
Why did you give Russell that coin?
I thought you could use a little help.
-The way you've been playing.
-But it's fake, isn't it?
Sure, it is fake, but I wouldn't be
telling him that if I were you.
It's confidence the boy be wanting,
not some lucky coin.
Oh, he's got all the luck he needs
right in here.
Yeah. The luck's inside him.
And mine's inside me.
The luck of the Irish.
Come on, Kyle! Come on! Get in the game!
-Come on!
-COACH: Make a statement!
Oh, give it up, boyo, you're a leprechaun.
A leprechaun's nothing without his luck!
Nobody's nothing!
(CHEERS)
Yeah!
Yeah!
-That wasn't luck!
-Yeah!
COACH: Yeah, yeah, yeah! All right!
-Whoo-hoo!
-Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
I touched the rim!
Hey!
Ooh!
Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING)
One more and you've got it!
Give me the ball!
Ball!
(GRUNTING)
I am the Saint of the Step.
King of the leprechauns!
You'll never beat me!
(ALL CHEERING)
That's my son!
No!
MAN: You all right, Seamus? Man, get up.
You all right there, boyo?
REILLY: You lost to the boy, Seamus.
He beat you fair and square.
Now it's time to have our luck back.
Lost, is it? Lost what?
This? I've still got
a pot of gold on the bus.
And 10 times that hidden away in a cave.
KYLE: Do you remember the rest of our bet?
Oh, I remember it, boyo! Word for word.
It's home you're sending me,
to live forever in Ireland.
(LAUGHING)
I'll be king of the leprechauns yet.
And then I'll settle with you,
and the clan O'Reilly!
-I said the shores of Erie.
-Would you at least learn how to say it?
The land of your fathers
isn't "Erie," boyo. It's Eire.
My father's from Cleveland.
(GASPS)
(GROANING)
Ohio!
(WAILS)
To live forever
within the shores of Lake Erie.
Heh! Sure hope he can swim better
than he plays basketball.
(ALL CHEERING)
Luck's got nothing to do with it.
I'm proud of you, son.
(ALL CHEERING)
Bonnie, where have you been?
Did your daughter not tell you
she's been all day
interviewing for our scholarship program?
-Scholarship?
-From Emerald Isle potato chips.
Why, Bonnie's at the top of our list
for a full college scholarship.
After she finishes high school, of course.
Bonnie, you should have told me.
Except there's one thing
that might keep her from getting it.
You see, we like our scholars
to be well-rounded.
Does she not play some sort of sport?
MR. LOPEZ: Sport? Oh, yes!
She's going to play basketball next year.
Is that right, Bonnie?
Whatever you say, Dad.
Well, you've got
one lucky girl there, Mr. Lopez.
But aren't we all lucky
to be living in so grand a country
where anything is possible?
Yeah!
(IRISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Well, I'm really proud
of my mom's family and my Irish heritage,
but Americans come from all over,
not just one place, and so do I.
This land is your land
This land is my land
From California
To the New York island
BOTH: From the redwood forest
To the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and me
As I was walking
That ribbon of highway
I saw above me that endless skyway
I saw below me
That golden valley
This land was made for you and me
This land is your land
This land is my land
From California
To the New York Island
From the redwood forest
To the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and me
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)