The Love Factor (1969) - full transcript

A British superspy comedy with a Pop Art aesthetic, ZETA ONE is the kind of psychedelic, sexy thriller that inspired the Austin Powers series. In this playful spoof at the James Bond films, Robin Hawdon stars as Word...James Word, a womanizing secret agent whose investigation of a criminal mastermind (James Robertson Justice) leads him to discover a race of beautiful, exotic superwomen. Further inquiry exposes the naked truth, that these women have been abducted and brainwashed by the alien, interdimensional goddess Zeta (Dawn Addams).

**

(Woman singing) * Zeta answers calls for distress *

* If you get in a mess
call for Zeta *

* Her beautiful girls are right
out of this world *

* So leave no stone unturned
send for Zeta *

* She's all around you
yet not here at all *

* Unless you should call
dial Zeta Zeta Zeta Zeta *

* Z-E-T-A Zeta *

**

**

**



* She's all around you
yet not here at all *

* Unless you should call
dial Zeta Zeta *

* Zeta is
the meaning of love *

* From a person so warm
but mysterious *

* Her beautiful girls
are right out of this world *

* So leave
no stone unturned *

* Send for Zeta *

* Don't be afraid
she won't hurt you *

* Don't be afraid *

* She only
wants love **

(Something metallic
clattering)

(Gun clicking)

Why, James!

Miss Olsen.



Anne.

What are you
doing here?

Why aren't you
at the office?

Well, I came 'round
to see if you were back

So I started
clearing up a bit.

Thought I'd
surprise you.

Surprise me!

I'd have shot you.

(Laughing)

**

Well, it doesn't really do
anything for you.

Didn't fool anybody
either.

Well, you're not going
to shoot me now, are you?

So why don't you
put that gun away?

I'm on your side,
remember?

How did you
get in?

I found this
in your personal file,

Along with your collar size,
fingerprints

And other interesting
information.

You have access
to my personal file?

Well, naturally.

I am W's
private secretary.

I see.

Don't worry,
I won't tell anybody.

Tell anybody what?

There's some very private
details there.

What details?

Mmm, just details.

Well, you can tell W for me
I consider it a bloody cheek,

His having a key
to my apartment.

Well, it's not
really surprising.

You are a spy.

Spies went out with Mata Hari
and black cloaks.

I'm an agent.

Call it
what you like.

You spend your time snooping
around other people.

You can't really
blame your boss

For doing a little snooping
on you.

You can't trust anybody
these days, can you?

**

Well.

What's this?

Coq Au vin.

(Sniffs deeply)

Mmm!

(Sniffs)

My specialty.

Mmm.

Well, I'm afraid the dinner
will be another half hour.

What do we do
till then?

Have a drink?

Be my guest.

**

What'll you have?

A "punte mays"

With ice
and lemon.

Exotic taste.

I'm afraid
I haven't got any.

Oh, yes,
you have.

It's in
the fridge.

I bought some.

May I ask what all this is
in aide of, Miss Olsen?

Anne.

Anne.

And there's no need
to be so suspicious.

You are
a bachelor.

So I thought...

I might need some care
and attention?

Mm-hmm.

After your
strenuous mission.

Just because
I'm a bachelor

Doesn't necessarily mean
I lead a monastic existence.

Oh, I know all
about your sex life.

The files?

Mm-hmm.

God help us.

Why do you endure?

Sit down.

Tell me what
you've been doing.

Why, you should know!

Oh, W doesn't tell me
anything like that.

Of course not.

Just the details
of his agents' sex lives.

Oh, he doesn't
tell me that either.

I found that out
myself.

You can find out about the
mission for yourself as well.

That's what
I'm trying to do.

I want to know
all about it.

**

Why don't you tell me
the real reason you came here?

What do you think?

This isn't the Miss Olsen
I'm used to.

Are you surprised?

It's nice to know
you're human.

So?

So what?

So, um...

What are you
going to do about it?

Have another drink.

Now then,
Miss... Anne.

You appreciate that whatever
happens from now on

Is entirely our own
responsibility.

Mmm.

Completely at
your own initiative.

Mmm?

And quite
beyond my control.

Mmm.

You really are
very attractive.

You're not without
a certain something yourself.

In fact,

(Zipper opening)
you're very sexy.

A bit conceited
perhaps,

(Zipper opening further)
but very sexy.

James?

Hmm?

Shall we eat
before or after?

After,
definitely.

I mean, after you tell me
how the mission went.

The what?

Well, how you got on
in Scotland.

At a time like this, you want
to talk about Scotland?

Well, I know it had something
to do with a Major Bourdon.

That's all I heard.

The hell with Major Bourdon.
Mmmm.

James.

Hmm?

Will you do
something for me?

Anything.

Pour me another drink,
darling.

Now?

Well, I like
to spin things out,

Don't you?

Yes.

Ice.

Lemon?
Mm-hmm.

Anything else?
Uh-uh.

Now then.

Where were we?

You were about to tell me
about Major Bourdon.

Do I get the impression
that you're leading me on?

I'd just like to get to know
you a little, that's all.

Haven't the files told you
all you need to know?

No, darling.

Not what
I want to know.

Relax, we've got
all night.

Well, what do we do
in the meanwhile?

Whatever you like.

Watch television?

Play chess?

Strip poker?
Ah!

Now that's better.

Strip poker?
Mm-hmm.

It's my favorite game.

**

I'll get
the cards.

Winner chooses?

Chooses what?

What we do next.

Ah.

It's a deal.

**

One should always play cards
in style, don't you think?

Oooh.

Which side
will you have?

I'll sit here.

**

(Cards shuffling)

That's cheating.

Oh no,
it isn't.

You've got more clothes on
than I have.

I'll start equal.

**

Cut for deal.

My deal.

**

How many
will you change?

Oh.

Three.

**

Dealer takes one.

**

One.

**

Raise you one.

**

See you.

Pair of a kings,
ace high.

**

I can see you've played
this game before.

Your deal.

**

Two.

Dealer take three.

**

Three.

Getting very bold.

Your three...

And raise you one.

Raise you one.

Raise you one.

I'm not doing
very well, am I?

Oh, I don't know.

I'll see you.

**

Pity.

**

**

**

**

**

**

**

This is ridiculous.

We've been playing
for two hours

And we're back
where we started.

Well, it was your suggestion
to play cards.

Well, somebody should
have won by now.

I'll tell you
what we'll do.

Straight cut.

If you win, we do
what you want to do.

If I win,
we do what I want.

Right?
Right.

You promise?

I promise.

Do you?

I promise.

(Sighing)
Very well.

What do you
want to do?

I want to talk.

About what?

About your mission.

Very well.

But we talk
in bed.

**

James?

Hmm?

I thought we came to do
what I wanted to do.

Mm-hmm.

I mean,
to talk.

Mmm.

Well, a deal's
a deal.

Where shall we start?

Who is
Major Bourdon?

Public enemy
number one.

What did he do?

He didn't.

I stopped him.

Really?

Tell me about it.

Well, let me see now.

How shall
I describe it?

You see, I haven't got it all
figured out for myself yet.

What haven't you
got figured out?

It was a very
extraordinary business.

I don't know how I'm going
to explain it to W.

Perhaps you can
do it for me.

Perhaps.

Don't just lie there,
tell me.

Hmm.

Well, let's start
with Major Bourdon.

**

W had a man following him
in the city.

Bourdon was going to meet
his assistant, Swyne.

**

W's man managed to overhear
a snatch of the conversation,

Enough to indicate that
they were up to something.

**

Hello, WH-One.

Bourdon met Swyne, right.

(Woman on phone)
Okay, BB3.

Did you get anything?

Not much.

He's planning something.

Something to do with Zeta,
I think he said.

And that's all the department
had to start with.

But who is
this Zeta?

They still
don't know.

But you do.

Mm-hmm.

Zeta is a woman who runs
a kind of colony called Angvia.

What is it?

It's a...

A sort of...

Well, no,

It's a kind of...

Well, you see, there's
this strange race of women.

Women?
Mmm.

But not
ordinary women.

Why?

They don't
have any men.

But how do they...
They don't.

Oh.

How boring.

And they live
in Angvia.

Where is Angvia?

I think it's out
in space somewhere.

Or perhaps it's not.

Perhaps
it's right here,

In a different time scale
or something.

All I know is
that it exists.

**

The whole place is like
a vast supernatural ant colony.

The women... the Angvians...
Are picked up

From all over the world
and by brainwashing processes,

Conditioned for
their allotted functions.

Some of them become
administrators,

Some workers,
some fighters.

Zeta herself
is the queen ant.

Who she is or where she
originally came from

Is a mystery.

But she holds the key
to the whole set up.

All the others
have come from Earth.

They're specially selected
after careful observation,

Then a kidnapping party
is sent out.

The girls are grabbed off
the street, rendered unconscious

And transported
to Angvia

By some sort
of time or space machine

Housed in
a pantechnicon.

In a what?

A large van.

Oh, you're making
this rubbish up.

You think so?

Well, you can't really
expect me to believe it.

Oh, nobody's going
to believe it.

But you wanted
to hear it.

Oh, but you can't
leave it like that.

I mean,
what happened?

I mean, how did
the Angvians come into it?

And what was
this Bourdon doing?

I thought you said
it was rubbish.

Well, you must admit,
it is a bit far-fetched.

Yes, it is,
isn't it?

Well, where was I?

Angvia.

And what's it got
to do with Major Bourdon?

Ah yes, Major Bourdon.

Well, you see,
he discovered about Angvia

And he thought that if he
could find out where it was,

He could perhaps
take it over.

Why?

Power, perhaps?

So what happened?

(James) So, he got his sidekick Swyne
to follow a couple of Angvian girls

And W's man
was following Swyne.

Hey... you can't
do that, love!

I'll be reporting you
if I see you doing that again.

Oh, I beg
your pardon.

Just a minute, mate.

Where are
you going?

Oh, yes, um.

Um, Islington.

Shan't keep you
a moment.

If you think I'm changing that,
you've got another think coming!

Oh my God, it's gonna be
one of them days!

All right then, go on,
up the stairs!

Go on and I'll come up
when I've got some change.

Um, I'm getting off.

Just a minute here, you!

Not only will I 'ave you
for jumpin' on this bus,

But I'll 'ave you for
not paying your fare either!

Come along...
Thank you very much!

Hey, Four-Eyes!

You ain't got
your change!

**

Is that her?

That's the lady.

What's so special
about her?

I suppose she's got
what it takes.

Which is?

I sometimes
wish I knew.

But Zeta is
always right.

She chooses well.

The snatch
is arranged then?

Yes.
Come on.

(Delta blues playing
inside club)

Oh, lovely girl, sir.

Show's starting
right now.

All lovely girls.

Does this girl
work here?

No, not her...
This one.

They all
work here, sir.

What's
her name?

That's Clarissa Richambeau,
Queen of the G-string.

Is that
her real name?

Oh, no, that's her stage name,
you understand.

I'm not
at liberty to, uh...

No, of course
you're not.

Half a moment.

That's
Edwina Strain.

Lovely girl,
mind.

(Phone beeping)

Hello,
Major Bourdon?

(Bourdon)
Is that you, Swyne?

Where the hell have you been?
Listen, Major.

I've got
some fantastic news.

I've been following
those two Angvian girls

Here, there
and everywhere.

Anyway, I was walking along
and following them

And I was just behind them
when...

Get to the point, man,
get to the point!

I haven't got all day.

Yes, well,
Major,

I discovered who they
are going to abduct next.

It's a girl who works
in the striptease club.

You're sure
about that?

Oh, absolutely
certain.

I heard them all
talking about it.

Get her over here.

Bring her to you?

But how?

What the hell do you think
I pay you for?

Think of something!

(Phone clicking)

(Traffic passing,
horn honking)

Edwina Strain?

Yes?

Edwina, will you
accept these flowers?

I'm not supposed to receive
presents from the clients.

Oh, you
misunderstand.

I'm not a client.

As a matter
of fact,

I have some very important
business to discuss with you.

I'm afraid that's
what they all say.

No, this is serious.

It's very important
that you cooperate with us.

Us?

I'm a secret agent,
Department Five.

Do you have
any credentials?

Oh, yes, of course.

Here is my card.

My boss...
That's Major Bourdon...

He's most anxious to have
a little talk with you

And if you don't
believe me,

It's only just
around the corner.

Mmm.

Well, if there's any funny
business, I'll call for the law.

But of course.

Taxi!

(Bourdon) It may all seem a little fantastic,

But it's frighteningly
true.

It's incredible.

If what you say is true,
then these... thank you.

Yeah, he's got some bird
with him at the moment.

These Angvians,

They could take over the entire
world in no time at all.

Unless they're
stopped.

And you want me
to help?

By finding them.

I'll try.

W's a boy,
but he's as pecked as any.

We, in uh...

In Department Five,

Have been trying to discover
their whereabouts.

They seem to have
some secret hideaway,

An operational base
in this country.

Now that's where
you come in, Edwina, dear.

Please call me Ted.

Everyone else does.

Listen, do you want me
to become one of them?

Well, um, Ted,

I hardly think it'll be
necessary to go as far as that.

But if we can get you
into their hideout,

By swallowing
this homing device,

You can lead us
to them.

(Edwina)
All right.

(Bourdon) Swyne,
a glass of water.

(With American accent)
Hello?

Hello, Word...
Is that you, Word?

What... What, W...
What did you say?

I want to have
a word with you

About a little matter
that's blowing up.

Just a moment.

Our friend Mr. Bourdon has been
following a particular girl.

W, um, tell me,
is this girl blonde?

An actress.

Look, I want to know exactly
what he's doing with her,

And this is exactly
what I want you to do!

Yes, yes.

A telegram.

Well, yes,
by all means.

(Blues music playing)

(Song ends)

(Doorman on microphone) Now gentlemen,
for your approval,

We submit
Yolande Del Mar

And her passionate python,
Prince Raj.

Here you are, Teddy,
love, it's for you.

**

(Ted reading aloud)

(Zeta) James Word of Department Five.

Now, what do they want
with Edwina?

Let's send Clotho
down there.

See what
she can find out.

Mm-hmm.

(Electronic buzzing, humming)

You got
my telegram.

No, darling.

You aren't
Edwina Strain?

No.

My name's Clotho.

Well, never mind
who you are.

Make yourself
at home.

Yes, darling.

287 Pelham Mews.

Hmm.

Standby, all areas.

Operation One
going into action.

**

(Vendors calling out)

**

(No voice)
**

**

(Woman) Excuse me.
Yes?

I wonder if you could direct me
to Pelham Mews?

We seem to be lost.

I was going there.

It's about there... Ow!

(Struggling, grunting)

Ow!

**

Yes,
Word speaking.

Yes, W.

Edwina Strain?

Yes.

I sent her
the telegram.

No, she hasn't
turned up yet.

What do you want me
to do?

All right.

I'll wait here
till we get a reaction.

W is a worrier.

(With French accent) You never worry,
do you, darling?

Hmm-mm.

I'm worried.

Really?

Yes.

Worried.

Yes, darling.

What about?

You haven't attacked.

I can't.

What do you mean,
you can't?

The bird hasn't turned up,
has she?

So you're going to attack
that bird, are you?

Well,
talk to her.

I just said
I'm worried.

You've got nothing
to worry about.

Darling.

Hmm?

You haven't attacked me
for at least an hour.

Hmm.

(Horns honking,
traffic passing)

(Eerie droning)

(Droning continues)

(Droning continues)

**

**

(High-pitched
electronic beeping)

What's the matter?

Nothing...
Listen!

(Beeping continues)

I don't hear anything.

No, you wouldn't.

Um, I have to go
somewhere.

I'll be back
in a minute.

(Beeping)

(Clotho)
Hello, Lachesis.

(Lachesis) Oh,
I am sorry to interrupt you when you are so busy.

We got the girl.

I want you to try to find out
why James sent for her.

Well,
that's not easy.

He isn't the talkative type,
you know.

You will have
to use a little persuasion.

I'm sure you can think
of something.

Yeah, we already
thought about it.

**

Bourdon's increased
his security.

He never had
guard dogs before.

Zara is
in that area.

She's making
a reconnaissance.

I'll get
in touch.

(Electronic beeping)

**

**

**

Swyne, there's a bidge
in the bushes.

Go see what she wants.

(Zara struggling, grunting)

Here is
the girl, Major.

A peasant,
but quite promising.

God, she's
an Angvian!

What a stroke
of luck.

We might find out
something from her.

Swyne.

Interrogation.

Interrogation.

(Shrieking)
Oh!

Oh!

(Screaming)

Aaahhh!

**

(Struggling, shrieking)

**

Well, my dear.

You're now back
with us again.

(Bourdon) How do we get you to help us

Case these evil beings
who've perverted you?

Let me go!

Now calm down.

Not until you've been brought
back to the human fold.

Swyne?
Sir?

Get a blanket,
she's freezing.

Major,
are you joking?

Get what
I told you!

Marquis de Sade.

Now come, come, come,
my dear.

Now you just
quiet down a bit.

Nothing to worry about
at all.

Let's have
a little chat.

Now,
to start with,

When did they first
get hold of you?

Let me go!

Now, calm down,
my love.

Just help us and
you'll be perfectly all right.

You see, whatever they've done,
we'll have to eradicate.

Or maybe you might
enjoy being reconverted.

Let me go!

Cover her up!

Yes, sir.

And where's
the brandy?

Oh, it's just
coming, sir.

(Shouting)
Go and get it!

Well, my darling.

Are you going
to talk?

No!

(Clotho) Are you feeling a bit better now, darling?

(James)
Mmm?

I wasn't feeling
too bad to start with.

James, who is
Edwina Strain?

Hmm?

What do you
want her here for?

W's orders.

(Phone ringing)

**

Word.

(W) Has the girl turned up yet?

Hmm.

She certainly has.

What... Has the girl
tuned up yet?

The girl!

Uh, no, I'm still
waiting for her.

Then forget it.

Forget it?

While you've been waiting,
she's been kidnapped.

Kidnapped?

Yes, kidnapped.

Stop repeating
everything I say.

(Giggling)
Stop.

Stop.

Stop what?

Oh, sorry, sir.

Um, kidnapped.

Who by?

How the hell
do I know?

Get over here pronto.

Pronto?

Instantly.

Instant Word
it is.

(Phone clicking)

Who was that?

W.

W?

The boss.

Now what?

I have to go.

Please, darling.

I just want
to talk to you.

**

Well, this is the most
ridiculous story

I've ever heard,
Mmm.

But there's no need to go
into the sordid details.

Just get on
with the story.

Well, I went to see W
in his office.

**

**

(Male robotic voice)
Call out your floor please.

Call out
your floor please.

13th.

13th what?

13th, please?

Thank you.

(Doors whirring)

You just don't get any
politeness these days.

Here's me slaving
up and down all day

And never so much
as a please or a thank you.

People like you
make me sick, sick, sick.

We've stopped.

That's right.

Well, are we going on?

You can do what you like.

I'm staying here.

This is my tea break.

Couldn't we go up
a few floors?

You could have
your tea break then.

Why should I do
any favors?

Please?

Well, all right.

I don't know what the world's
coming to.

I'm expected to work all hours
of the day and night.

I tell you straight,

I wouldn't let a son
of mine be a lift.

Everybody out.

This isn't the 13th.

This is the 12th.

I'm superstitious.

You'll have
to walk the rest.

Thank you.

Get stuffed.

(Strange whirring)

Sit down.

Bit jumpy,
aren't you?

What kept you?

I came as soon
as I could, sir.

The girl Edwina's
been kidnapped.

You told me
on the phone.

So what were
you doing?

Um, getting dressed.

Getting dressed?

Clotho...
Uh, clothing myself.

Clothing?

Yes, I had
a bath.

Had a... you...

At a time like this,
you took a bath?

I like my agents to be neat,
but this is ridiculous.

Cleanliness
is next...

Cleanliness is next to nowhere
unless you get that girl!

She was on her way
to your place

With information on Bourdon...
Vital information.

I want two things.

A., I want to know
what that information was,

And B., I wanna know
who kidnapped her.

Bourdon?

You think I haven't
thought of that?

I've checked.

None of Bourdon's people
were in the area at the time.

I want that
girl found... fast!

I don't even know
what she looks like.

Johnson,
come in here.

(Blues music playing)

(Music continues)

(James) You want me to find that?

(W)
And get her talk.

Supposing
she won't?

Word,

That's the girl
they've got

And that's the girl
I want you to try and find.

You try and stop me.

(Gun firing)

Very good shot,
sir.

What interests me is what's
happened to our girl Edwina.

It would appear
that she was kidnapped.

The homing device inside her
sent out the signals perfectly,

But after the kidnapping,
the signals stopped.

(Gun firing)

And you haven't
picked them up again?

We're working
on it, sir.

Right, I want to know
as soon as you locate her.

They can't possibly
know that she's bugged.

Of course.

And in the meantime,
of course,

I think we might go
and have a little fun

With that
Angvian girl.

(Laughing)

(Gun firing)

**

Bourdon's
got Zara.

What?

Bourdon's
got Zara!

Stay tuned
to this channel.

I'll report
to Zeta.

**

Yes, Lachesis?

Zeta,
it's bad news.

Bourdon's people
have caught Zara.

How long ago
was this?

Only a few
minutes ago.

Then there's
still time.

I can go myself.

No, no,
you stay here.

Are you in touch
with Clotho?

She, uh, she's at
James Word's place.

Then tell her to go
at once to Bourdon's place.

To Scotland?

Yes, Clotho.

You're the only one
that can go.

Well, what
about James?

I can't
just disappear.

Don't worry.

W knows Bourdon
is in Scotland,

So he'll probably
send James anyway.

(Click)

(Seductively)
Hello.

Hi.

**

(Chuckling)

**

(Door closes)

**

So,
you are Edwina.

I don't know what
you want from me,

But I'm pretty sure you didn't
go to all this trouble

For just
the fun of it.

You know
Major Bourdon.

All I want to know,
my child,

Is how you are connected
with him?

Connected with who?
Bourdon.

You must
know Bourdon.

They would go to
any lengths to destroy us.

Why?

'Cause at many times
we have stood in his way.

His way to what?
(Chuckling)

Lachesis.

Show our "guest"
the colony.

She obviously doesn't
know much about Bourdon.

**

**

This is a
self-revelation room.

**

**

Right,
come with me.

**

(Lachesis) This is where we bathe.

**

(Lachesis) Here you can see the
fighting force undergoing exercises

For muscle control,
balance and poise.

**

**

Come.

Over here.

And have a look at the
contemplation rooms.

We teach contemplation as a very
important part of our training.

**

Atropos, would you
explain to our friend?

Come 'round here.

This is the static
time area

As Zeta explained
to you earlier.

We all take a period
of time in here

So that we only live
for a month in each year.

Now watch this.

**

(Atropos) This is one of our dormitories.

**

And of course, we have
to eat every few hours,

But not the food
that you would know.

It contains chemicals to
maintain our physical powers.

Each day,
the fighting force train.

This training
has two purposes.

It keeps us fit

And it relieves
aggressive tensions.

**

All our forces
can be sent

Anywhere on Earth
at a moment's notice.

(Edwina) But how do they get to Earth?

It's a simple
enough process,

Although I doubt if
I could explain it to you.

**

First they are dressed
into Earth clothes.

The earth transmission vehicle
transports them

In just a few seconds.

**

Lachesis, take our friend
to the control room

And show her the Earth
monitoring screen.

(James)
Why kidnap Edwina?

(Clotho)
Maybe she had...

(Lachesis) This is the control
room where we monitor pictures

From the various sources
we are interested in.

(Edwina) But they were talking about me!

(Lachesis) You were supposed to meet James Word,
weren't you?

(Edwina) Yes, I was,
until I was dragged away into that car.

(Lachesis)
Why?

Why did James
send for you?

Was it because you know
something about Bourdon?

I know nothing
about him!

(Lachesis) You were connected with him in some way,
weren't you?

No, no, I wasn't!

Don't, for heaven's sake,
try and protect Bourdon!

Look at this!

(Bourdon) Have you decided to talk?

(Zara)
No!

(Bourdon)
Very good.

Give her
the number five.

(Swyne)
Oh, my favorite!

(Humming a tune)

Get out of
the way, man!

He doesn't really deserve
any protection, does he?

I hope you're not going to be
disappointed this time, James.

Never.

You're getting
the full works this time.

I don't think
I can stay long.

(Electronic ping)

(Growls playfully)

Clotho?

(Electronic ping)

(Birds chirping)

I'm not very happy
about that Edwina girl.

How do you
mean, Zeta?

I don't know.

It's just
a feeling.

After all, we don't know
very much about her.

She could be working
for Bourdon.

Well, it would
be so easy.

There must be
some connection.

After all, that's why we brought
her here in the first place.

You see, Bourdon couldn't sneak
anyone in here directly.

He doesn't know
where we are.

But by getting us to kidnap
one of his own people

And bring her here, well,
all she would have to do

Is let Bourdon know
our position and...

Pfft!...
That's it.

I still
don't think so.

Edwina is
just bewildered.

Not really hostile.

Hmm.

I wouldn't put anything
past Bourdon.

Anyway, you better take the girl
to the conditioning room,

Just to be
on the safe side.

**

**

(Bourdon on radio) H-1, H-1,
where the hell are you?

H-1, give me
your position.

Give me
your position!

(Pilot)
Base, H1.

Position approximately 14 miles
southwest of base, over.

(Bourdon) Any signal from the homing device yet?

Over.
Negative.

Well, keep patrolling
that area!

She must be there
somewhere!

**

**

**

**

(Rope whooshing)

(Zeta) They're getting far too close.

How are they
tracking us?

Switch to
Maximum Force Field!

Right.

That should be
about it.

Good, good,
just enough to de-power it.

(Zeta) It'll flutter down like a sycamore leaf.

**

(Zeta)
Now, standby.

Good...
(Gasping)

If you want to live,
tell her to switch off.

(Scoffing)

Contact that plane and tell them
I'm here or I'll kill you.

(Zeta)
I thought so.

She is
Bourdon's agent.

Take her to
the conversion room.

There must be some
connection between her

And Bourdon's
helicopter.

Erase her memory and return her
to where she was picked up.

**

Where is Angvia?

Where is
your witches' hideout?

(Device clicking loudly)
(Shrieking)

(Bourdon) I want to blow it off the face of the earth.

I want to see that Zeta driven
back to where she came from

In pieces!

For years now,

Your disgusting tribe has
been interfering with my plans.

She's not
gonna speak.

We'll try her
on the chair.

(Gasping)

(Manacles unfastening)

(Swyne humming)

Impertinence!

**

(Screaming)

(Thud)

**

What a waste.

**

(Electronic ping)

(Car engine humming)

(Edwina's tracking device
signaling)

(Signal continuing)

We're getting it
faintly.

I'll soon have
a direction on it.

And I can do better
than that.

In a minute or two,

I'll be able to pin down
its source.

Then you can't be
very far off.

At last.

(Birds chirping)

Yes.

This last reading puts their
position somewhere near here.

That's still only
a radius of 20 miles.

It's not good enough.

(Dog barking)

(Dog barking)

Bourdon's
got Clotho.

Action 69.

(Bourdon) So another little Angvian has come to visit us.

I must say, they're
improving all the time.

This one's right up
to scratch!

Come here.

Well, lift up your skirts and
let's see your pretty legs.

Oh, darling, wouldn't you
rather do that for me?

Hmm, I think you're
about to witness

A most interesting
scene.

(Grunting in pain)

Little bitch.

Hurt my pride,
would you?

(Laughing)
Darling,

Don't you like
a little fight with it, hmm?

I like fighting
with little Angvians.

Take her
to my rooms.

I think I'll deal
with this one personally.

Swyne, get to
the helicopter.

Are you going
to take off, sir?

Not that, you fool...
On the radio!

Sorry.

(Helicopter whirring,
tracking signal transmitting)

We are right
over it now, Major Bourdon.

Appears to be a large van
heading for the London road.

(Bourdon)
Good.

Then follow it
until it stops.

Report to me as soon
as you land, over.

(Knob clicking)

Right.

Now we can enjoy
a little relaxation.

(Dogs barking)

**

(Dogs barking)

**

(Barking, snarling)

**

Hmm.

I'm sure you enjoy
a little hunting, my dear.

I mean,
one gets so bored

With these eternal
stags and foxes.

Oh, don't
distress yourself.

I'm being very
fair to you.

You'll have
one minute clear

And then we shall
follow you.

Fun, eh?

Right then.

One minute
from... now!

(Dog barking)

Action 69 fast!

**

(Dog barking)

(Exhaling)

So then, a lot of Angvian girls
appeared out of nowhere,

Made some strange
sort of signals

And all Bourdon's men
fell down in a heap.

Well, that's going
too far.

It's absolute rubbish.

You're cheating
and making it all up.

No.

Cross my heart.

**

(Zeta)
Stand by, everybody.

(Echoing)
Action 69!

(Loud beeping)

**

(Barking)

**

(Gasping)

**

46 seconds, 45...

**

(Beeping continues)

**

(Grunting)

(Beeping continues)

**

(Beeping continues)

(Barking)

Zeta, all fighters
ready for action.

Everything is
prepared to go.

Standby for word from me to
proceed all forces to Bourdon.

We must get Clotho
out of there.

18, 17...

**

15, 14...

12, 11, 10...

(Zeta) Lachesis, standby.

Magnetic control
field on.

(Puddle splashing)

Three...

Two...

(Barking)

One!

We're off.

Actuate!

**

(Dogs barking)

**

(Engine revving,
stopping)

**

(Splashing)

**

(Dogs barking)

**

(Whooshing)

(Whooshing)

(Whooshing)

**

(Dogs barking)

**

**

(Dogs barking)

**

(Dogs barking)

**

Seen her?
No.

Right,
come on!

**

(Dogs barking)

**

**

(Men encouraging each other)

Right... come on.

**

(Loud zapping)

**

**

(Dogs barking
in distance)

**

(Swyne shouts in pain)

Oooh, ooh, beast!

**

(Dogs barking)

**

(Zapping)

**

(Zapping)

**

(Zapping)

(Grunting)

**

(Zapping)

(Zapping)

**

(Electronic beeping)

(Zapping)

**

(Clicking)

**

(Zapping)

**

(Zapping)

(Zapping)

**

(Zapping)

(Birds chirping)

**

(Door creaking loudly)

**

(Rattling)

It's over...

Hello, James.

What are you
doing here?

Waiting for you.

But what... where...

It's all over.

Over?
Over.

(Sighing)

Too late as usual,
James.

Check
channel red.

Bourdon's men
routed.

Check
channel blue.

Um.

What's the matter,
child?

Channel blue seems
to be okay, um...

(Chuckling)
Oh, yes.

Well, that just about
wraps it up.

**

(Anne)
James?

Hmm?

You haven't finished
the story yet.

What,
again?

What happened
to Edwina?

Edwina.

Well, she got sent back,
memory eradicated.

She's probably back
in the strip club by now.

So there you are.

That's the lot.

I don't believe
a word of it.

Don't you?

Mmm-mmm.

Well...

Have a look
at this.

Is that them?
Mm-hmm.

How'd you get it?

I took it.

Is that the only picture
of the Angvians in existence?

I expect so.

You're not going to show it
to anybody, are you?

Of course.

I must show it to W.

Well, perhaps
these Angvians don't want

People to know
about them.

I'm sure they don't.

So why show it?

Well, how else can
I prove the story?

Well, it's not as if
they've done you any harm.

In fact,
they helped you.

If they wanted the world
to know about them,

They'd soon make
themselves known.

Possibly.

Oh, please.

Don't show it
to anybody.

Please.

(Sniffing)

My God,
the coq Au vin!

(Coughing)

(Electronic beeping)

(Zeta) I think James Word is a danger.

He'll always be a danger,
as long as he knows about us.

Is he virile,
masculine?

Then you know
what to do.

You know, I think
he'll like that.

(Electronic beeping)

The coq's ruined.

Who needs it?

Unh!

**

Viscosity 50?

Yes.

**

**

**

**

**

**

**

**