The Longest Yard (1974) - full transcript

He nails Harrison,
and he dragged him down

as if he were gonna
hogtie him too.

J.B. Logan was there
to help out.

Anderson's ninth tackle.

He has two of them
behind the line of scrimmage.

Give Harrison four yards
to the 26.

Stoney Walker's coming in and
Rufus Middleton is going out.

That gives Middleton a breather.

Has he been burning up
a few miles today

on the stadium turf!

Rufus Middleton. All right,
it's second and six on the 26.



Stoney Walker deployed
wide right, Larry Singer left.

How long do we have
to keep watching this crap?

He had some room to run…

except for that man
from Jacksonville, Florida,

James Washington La Croix,

who made a good, sure low tackle

just as Harrison was about to
spurt deep into the secondary.

We've had ourselves an exciting
ball game this afternoon.

Only a moron could sit
and watch two football games,

one after the other.

Victorio covers him there.
Singer left.

It's about time Robinson
went to Singer.

Harrison and Mancusso
are split behind Robinson.

Robinson gives instead to
Harrison, up the middle again.



He may have the first down

as he plows close
to the 20 yard line.

Let's see where
they mark the ball.

Billy Jacoby and Sonny Anderson
again making the tackle.

It's going to be…

Thank God.

Mmm.

I feel so good.
I feel so relaxed.

You know,
the help is off, Crewe.

The phones are off.

We're all alone.

Let's get it on, honey.
Come on.

Hey! Come on, honey.

Wake up, baby.
Come on.

You know it'll be good.
You know how good it'd be.

Come on, Crewe! Get off of me!

That son of a bitch!

Play one of the best new FPS shooters,
search Steam for PROJECT WARLOCK

Where the hell do you think
you're going?

Splitting.Splitting.

Mm-hmm. You split when I tell you,

you all-American son of a bitch.

Lovely, lovely.

And when you walk out, stay out!

You're too expensive
to be useless.

Whore!

That's exactly what you are,
a whore.

I never looked at it
that way before.

Everybody's bought you.

The colleges, the pros,
your gamblers.

Who do you think bought
those caps on your teeth,

the clothes you're wearing and
the bloody tan that you've got?

Me!

Have I ever neglected
to thank you, Melissa? Hmm?

You has-been.

Where are your keys? If
I took everything back

that I gave you…
Stay away from my keys.

You'd be bare-ass naked. Shut up.

Where are your goddamn keys?
Don't touch my keys.

Ow!

I think the love has gone out
of our relationship.

Bastard!

Don't you take my Maserati. I earned it.

I told you not to touch
my goddamn car!

Gimme the police.

Hee-hee!

♪ And if you like ♪
♪ To drink of whiskey ♪

♪ You might even ♪
♪ Shoot yourself ♪

♪ So why don't we ♪
♪ Dump 'em people ♪

♪ To the bottom of the sea ♪

♪ Before some old fools ♪
♪ Come around here ♪

♪ Wanna shoot ♪
♪ Either you or me ♪

♪ It's a Saturday night special ♪

♪ Got a barrel that's ♪
♪ Blue and cold ♪

♪ Ain't no good for nothin' ♪

You have a driver's license?
What, are you takin' a poll?

Look what we got here.
A miniature cop.

Can we see
your driver's license?

What?

Can we see
your driver's license?

See if I can get it out.

It's him, all right.

Why'd you
dump her car in the bay?

What?

Why'd you dump her car
in the bay?

I couldn't find a car wash.

Step away from the bar, please.

Mister, step away from the bar!

Don't get pushy, cowboy.

Turn it around. Come on!

Hold him! Hold that
son of a bitch! Hold him!

Now we got you. We got you
for stealin' a car,

drunken driving, drunk in public
and resistin' arrest.

You wanna try
for something else?

I'm gonna make you taller!

Okay, men, let's go.

Good afternoon.
Where are you from, please?

Palm Beach County. Thank you, sir.

The second door down. GUARD: This way, men.

They gave you $10,000

for shaving off your mustache
on television?

Mm-hmm.

How about giving me
$5,000 worth?

It's comin' right off.
There's about 2,500.

Three thousand.

Four thousand coming up.

Five thousand!

Anything else, sir?

That's it.

Hmph.

Warden Hazen thinks
you're some pretty hot stuff.

But I'm Captain Knauer.

And I'm gonna spell
things out for you, boy.

I run this prison.

He sits behind that desk
growing old.

I'm out here bustin' heads.

And I run the football team.

What football team?

My football team.

Oh.

Hazen's gonna ask you
to help coach.

And you just tell him,
"no way."

Yeah. You know
something, Crewe?

Ow!

I don't like you.

You understand that?

Oh, yeah.

Attention, cell block 3-A.

Please report as scheduled
to your period assignment,

except for carpentry
and accounting classes.

All men assigned
to farm detail will meet

at 1:00 in the rotunda.

Warden, Captain Knauer is here
with inmate Crewe.

Send him in. Thank you, sir.

You can go in now. Thank you, Miss Toot.

Paul Crewe.

The "Wrecking" Crewe.

It's good to have you here.

Thank you.

Young people
can learn a great deal

from a skillfully
played football game.

Offense, defense, spirit of
achievement, teamwork.

You might say…

the game embodies what has made
our country great.

It's a great game.
It's played by great men.

Uh… Heh.

We, uh… We have something

of a football team
here ourselves, you know.

First rank, semipro,
southeastern league,

runner up, national champions
past five years.

Mr. Crewe, what do you think
of semipro ball?

Semipro's a joke.

Well, heh-heh,

perhaps we could use a few
pointers from the big leagues.

Captain, what do you say
to Mr. Crewe looking in,

and giving us the benefit
of his invaluable knowledge?

That's a real good idea, warden.

We can use
all the help we can get.

Uh-huh.

Well?

I haven't picked a
football up in eight years.

I'm not in very good shape.

Nobody's asking you
to play, Mr. Crewe.

What we need is a coach,
new blood.

A new game plan?

Anybody who's pro football's
most valuable player

has got something special,
and I want to have that.

I'm not interested
in football anymore.

Mr. Crewe, uh,

I don't mind saying,

I pulled a lot of strings
to get you down here.

Well, I appreciate that.

Look,

what I want is a national title.

If perchance you should help us
achieve that goal,

I expect your stay here with us
will be very agreeable.

Well?

I just wanna do my time
and then get out of here.

Very well.

All right, I'll turn you over

to the good hands
of Captain Knauer.

Swamp reclamation.

Get him out of here.

Captain? Yes, sir?

I'd like a word with you.

For the past five years

you've promised me
the national title.

And for each of those years,
you've come up short.

You know how hard I try, sir.

When I want an
answer, I'll indicate it.

Yes, sir.

You've asked for bonus money.

Certainly take their football
seriously, don't they?

This year you've
asked for new game uniforms.

I've okayed them.

Everything you've asked for,
I've given you!

I appreciate it, sir, but… Now,

I want that title.

You will give me that title
or you will be out of a job.

You and all that overpriced beef
you call a team!

For all I've given you,

we should be in the goddamn
Super Bowl!

I've lost patience, goddamn it!
The gravy train is over!

This year you're gonna win!
My, you have lovely hair.

This is your last chance!

Prison is no different
from any other community.

Ever find any spiders in it?

…authority in here,
then I haven't done my job.

I'm not being unreasonable,
am I?

No, sir.

- Then you'll give me the title?
- Yes, sir.

Good!

And I want that man out there.

And I want you to make that
son of a bitch enthusiastic!

Did you ever do it standing up?

All right, let's move it.

I run this prison!

I tell you to forget football,
you don't think twice.

What're you so mad about?

You better start
takin' life serious.

I did what you told me to do!

Hey, superstar,
you get a good night's sleep?

Too bad you missed breakfast.
It was real yummy.

Gotta get it done.
Let's go.

This is "make work" day.
Make work day!

What the hell's "make work"?

Where you shovel it in, and you
shovel it back out again.

Hustle in there now.
Cover that.

Get that wheelbarrow!

Let's go, single file.

Hang it up, hang it up.

Got that covered?

All right, let's go.
Come on.

Get a shovel.

Hey, you, superstar.

I got an idea.
Granville, come on.

You ever work
with a nigger before?

Get another shovel, boy!

All right, let's go!

Heave it out!

- Sittin' down, boss?
- Not today, boy.

Wipin' off, boss. WALKING
BOSS: Not today, boy.

Rollin' one, boss? Not yet, boy.

Now you know how it feels
to do black man's work.

How do you like it? It sorta grows on you.

No talkin', Granny! Yes, boss.

You and your friend there'll
find themselves in bad time.

Yes, boss.
Sorry about that.

What's he think this is?
Good time?

Looky, looky, looky!
Here comes Cooky!

Big deal!

Look at him now!

How do you like them apples?

♪ Shootin' star ♪

Move the line.

Real friendly types
you got around here.

Might be your own fault. Really?

Most of these ol' boys
don't have nothing.

Never had nothing to start with.

But you, you had it all.

Then you let
your teammates down,

got yourself caught with
your hand in the cookie jar.

I did, did I?

I ain't sayin' you did
or you didn't.

All I'm sayin' is, you could've
robbed banks, sold dope,

or stole your grandmother's
pension checks

and none of us would've minded.

But shavin' points
off a football game,

man, that's un-American.

You take your football here
real serious, don't you?

You mind if I ask you
one question?

Yeah, I do.

Why'd you do it? It's a long story.

Well, I got eight years.

Oh, my God!
What the hell is that?

That's a member of
the warden's football team.

Some of these guards
are not just everyday

run-of-the-mill guards.

Crewe!

Granville!
Front and center!

What now?

That means we don't get to
finish this delicious lunch.

What's he lookin' for?

Snakes.

Snakes? Yeah.

Take five!

- Rollin' one, boss?
- Not today, boy.

Oh, jeez.

Mmm.

Terrific.

Football faggot!

- Salt pill up here, boss?
- Go get it, boy.

How long you been
in this asylum, Pop?

Thirty-four years. Thirty-four years?

Yep. Last six and a half
right here in the swamp.

Too old for reclamation,
so they made me barracks chief.

You ought to be comin' up
for parole soon, shouldn't you?

Well, 30 years ago I made the
mistake of sluggin' a fish bull.

Hazen.

Just my luck, he made warden.

Sent me out here
when I was 64 to die.

But I've been hangin' on.

Way I figure, we'll
all be in the same place

a thousand years from now.

So what the hell? Yeah, what the hell?

All right,
you assholes, back to work!

Hey!

This ain't no country club,
superstar. Move your ass!

No, son!
You gotta get off the bunk!

Man, for God's sake, get up!

Come on, on your feet.
Listen to me.

Nobody's allowed on the bunks

till five minutes
before lights out.

They'll put you in the oven.

Man, that can kill you.

Did you have any supper yet?

No.

Later I'll try to get you
some chow.

You gotta eat, man,
or you'll die of mono.

And they could care less!

Get off of me!

Watch it, man!

Where the hell you goin'?
Move outta here!

Twinkle, twinkle,
little superstar.

Guard? Yeah, boy?

I wanna see the warden.

Pass the salt.

Boy.

He's here.

That's gonna get you
24 hours in the hot box, boy.

I quit.

What makes you so tough?

I don't know.
It just comes natural.

That'll cost you, boy.

Rise and shine!

Rise and shine.

Oh, it's room service.

Pretty gamey.

Take a shower.
Put on some clean whites.

The warden wants to see you. The warden?

Get on down there.

Set! HAZEN: well?

What do you think of my team? CREWE: Mean.

Crude but mean.

Ah, I was depending on you,
you know?

Well, there's
so little time left now.

It's quite a problem.

They need something
before that first game.

You have to win the first game? Right.

Well, that's relatively simple. Mmm?

Yeah. Get yourself
a tune-up game, you know?

A what?

A tune-up game
like the pros have.

You find yourself
some hungry semipro team

that's not in your league.
You bring 'em in here

and you kick the shit
out of 'em.

Well,

how do you think we'd do
against the pros?

That team against the pros? Yeah.

Ha. You'd have a real problem.Ah.

Well… Well, uh,

how do you think we'd do
against the cons?

I didn't know the cons
had a team.

They don't. But you've
given me an inspiration.

I've decided, Mr. Crewe,

that you're gonna put one
together for me.

For that little tune-up game,
you know?

And you're gonna play
quarterback.

I can't do that.

Why not? They're semipro.
We wouldn't have a chance…

You said so yourself.
It's a big joke.

That's why people like
to have me around.

Because I have a sense of humor.

Mr. Crewe,

as old Mr. Sam used to say,

"in this institution,

to get along,
you go along."

Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

I'm just gonna do what's left
of my 18 months quietly,

and I'm out of here. Oh, yes.

Eighteen months.

But that was to make parole.

That was before you struck
Captain Knauer.

Your basic sentence
is from two to five years.

You could be here with us
a long time, Mr. Crewe.

If I get this team together,

how long do I have
to get them organized?

Four weeks.

We're talkin' about
early parole, right?

I believe we are.

All right, I'll play.

What? I didn't hear you.

I'll play.Sir.

I'll play, sir.

History.

I read you like a book,
Mr. Crewe.

One more thing. What is it?

You keep Knauer off my back.

Give us a game,
Mr. Crewe.

I'll give you a game.

"Hit and be hit.

"Anyone with any experience
or desire.

Prison football team.
Sign up."

What do you think?

Maybe I'll get annihilated.
Forget it.

Wait a second. Hey!

Here's the way I look at it.

Suppose you break your leg
or something like that.

That's six weeks easy time
in the hospital.

To me,
that's biscuits and gravy.

Tell me somethin'.
Would they let me play tackle?

Sure.

That means I spend half the time

lookin' directly across into
Walkin' Boss's eyes, right?

Now you got it.

I always had a thing
for Walkin' Boss.

Yeah, and Walkin' Boss
always had a thing for you.

Hold it, hold it.

Don't you guys know a good thing
when you see it?

You get a free crack
at the guards!

Not to mention,
a chance to kill one of 'em!

Legal! Bullshit!

I ain't signing that damn thing.

This honky golden boy sold out
his own teammates, didn't he?

He damn sure did.

He did it once,
he'll do it again!

Hi.Hi.

You know you're doing it
all wrong?

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

You're never gonna put a team
together with that bunch.

Well, I appreciate the advice.

I can help you.
I'm Nate Scarboro.

Nate Scarboro, Giants?

Yeah.

Step into my office. Thank you.

I'm, uh, Paul Crewe. Yeah, I know.

You made All Pro
your last year, didn't you?

Right. Why'd you quit?

It was a simple decision.

Doc said quit football
or quit walking.

My knee had all
the operations it could take.

I figured walking
was better than sitting.

Maybe I made the wrong choice.

Anyway, you got 15 guys
that're worth a damn.

The rest…

How long did Hazen give you
to get 'em ready?

A month.

You bought a bill of goods.

I didn't have any choice.

And you don't have
one black player out there.

There are at least 15
in this prison

with enough experience
to make this club.

None of 'em signed up.

I played eleven years
in the league,

never even got a hangnail.

I'm not gonna get hurt
in this game.

I'm gonna get the biggest guys
I can find and surround myself.

I know the guards. I've watched
them play for 11 years.

I've seen how they've won games
and why they lost 'em.

I know those bums better
than they know themselves.

You just got yourself
a job. Head coach.

Great bunch
of guys you got here.

"Strangled both wives
with pantyhose."

"Triple murder,
including body dismemberment."

"Hacked mother
with meat cleaver."

Charming, charming. NATE:
Double-check the ones

with two stars because
they're the most violent.

Got any with three stars?

Warden, I think
this game's a big mistake.

Captain,

not only will you have
the chance to hone our team

to a fine edge, you'll also have

the opportunity to learn
a great deal about life.

Why is it, do you suppose,

that I can walk
through this yard

surrounded by hate
and in total command?

'Cause you got 15 gun turrets
around you that say you can.

Partly, partly.

They could stop us
right now, grab us,

slit our throats.

But they don't.

We get the right person
in the right place

at the right time,

we can surprise
the shit out of 'em

one game, one time.

We can do it!

You guys about through?

Time's almost up.

Okay, Pop.
Hold your water.

You better hurry up. What have
you got for me, sunshine?

I can get you steroids,

vitamins, greenies.
Anything you want.

You name it. I'm the best
hustler in the joint.

How much of what this guy
says he can do can he do?

He can get you laid in here…
with a woman.

What more can I tell you? Yeah?

But can you get me the medical
files on the guardsmen?

What for?

I want to find out
who had any broken bones.

Sonny Tannen. Strong as an ox.
You'll love him.

Is that him? That's him.

Hello, Sonny. How'd you like
to play some football?

F-Football?

Yeah.
Would you like that?

You mean, w-we get
to h-hit the guards?

You'd like that,
wouldn't you, Sonny?

Report to the practice field
tomorrow morning at 9:00.

What's his name? Indian.

That makes sense. Don't
do any ethnic jokes.

Indian, this is Paul Crewe.

Hi.Hi.

I hear you play some football.

A little bit.

Good. Where? Oklahoma State.

Oklahoma State U.? Prison.

Yeah. Well, first thing
we gotta do

is get you
transferred out of here

and on the football field. How?

Well, we'll work on it. Ha-ha.

That pretty heavy?

About 400 pounds.

That's pretty heavy. George Samson Granada.

Mr. Florida, 1964.

Uh, Paul Crewe.

You know Florida? Yeah, yeah.

They got tough cops here.
Small but tough.

Uh, we're getting up a football
game against the guards.

Wondered if maybe you
and some of your buddies

would like to join in
on the fun.

With the guards?

Uh-huh.

Sure, I'd like that.

Sign him up. I'm way ahead of you.

See you around. Look forward to it.

Samson, huh? Aah!

Samson. Don't cut your hair.

What do you think?

Defensively we can hold 'em
to two or three touchdowns.

But we need better
pass receiving,

and more speed
in the backfield to win.

To win? Heh.

I'm just talking
about surviving.

Who's talking about winning?

So am I.

This just isn't a football game
to the warden.

He shows you and this team up

and he's showin' up
the whole prison population.

Nate, it's just a game.

All I wanna do
is come out of it alive.

It's just a game.

Not to him it isn't.

It's a fear and violence
philosophy.

He's given us this chance
to be free for a few hours,

to try and be men again,
so he can destroy us.

Nate, if you're thinking
about winning this game,

then you're as crazy as he is.

Well, maybe so.

But you spend
14 years in this tank,

and you begin to understand

that you've only got
two things left

they can't sweat out of you
or beat out of you.

Your balls.
And you better hang on to 'em

because they're about
the only thing you're gonna have

when you get out of here.

Good night, Nate. Good night.

The use of toilet
facilities is suspended for two hours

until repairs are completed.

Sorry, men.

Mason.Yeah.

Follow my lead.
We're gonna do this sucker.

Yeah. If he get out of line,
we'll jam him.

Might as well see
what this boy wants.

Pretty boy,
we know what you want, man.

We don't play no ball.

Figured you did.

Well, we do, but we don't.There it is.

You two guys were drafted
by the pros, weren't you?

But we no longer perform
for the honky's amusement.

Say, man, I'll play.

But you gotta guarantee me
one thing. I'll start.

You got it.

All right.

What's wrong with you, nigga?
We don't fuck with them.

I'm gonna play football. But
not with them honkies, man.

You better leave.
I'll talk to you later.

Yeah, leave.

You look better going
than you did coming, anyway.

What's wrong with you?

I'm gonna play football. Look, brother…

I ain't none of you
goddamn brother.

You know what, Granville?

You ain't nothin' but
a big ol' dumb, stupid fool.

Nigga, you is a fool.
It makes more sense me

bangin' one of those big dudes
upside the head

than to be bangin' you
upside of yours.

Aw, nigga, please!
Shit!

Where are they?

They're not due
for another five minutes.

What's the matter?

We're in big trouble,
you know that?

I got a bunch of clowns.

I don't even know if they
played high school football,

much less college football.
We're playing a semipro team.

Plus the fact that I haven't
picked up one of those things

in about seven years.

What're you worried about?

Once you got it, you got it.

Throw one at that tire over
there. Just like makin' love.

Once you've done it,
you never forget how.

See what I mean?

All right, men,

we're not gonna have time to
learn any complicated patterns.

So we're gonna concentrate
on the basic plays.

But we might learn
a few specialty plays,

if you know what I mean.

Aah! Naturally
we're gonna try to get away

with as much as possible.

And my executive assistant,
Mr. Nate Scarboro,

will be happy, more than happy,

to show you just exactly

how much you can
try to get away with.

The one thing that
you're gonna have to remember,

the one most important factor,

is to protect
your quarterback, me!

Wait a minute.
That's no bullshit.

If anything happens to me,

if I get hurt,

we're gonna have to live
with the fact

that we had one chance,

one chance in a million
to humiliate those bastards,

and we blew it.

Is that clear? MEN: Yeah!

All right. Now, we're gonna
hurt 'em, right?

Right!

All right.

We're gonna kick the shit
out of 'em, right?

Right, right! All right!

Now, backs and ends come with
me, the rest of you stay here.

Okay, linemen.
Come on, linemen!

What's the agility
rating on this?

Maximum is ten.

All right, men,
just hit the holes.

I don't wanna hear you
hit any rubber. Knees high.

Come on, let's go!

Let's go! Let's…

That's a two.
Let's go!

Very good.
Knees high. Seven.

Let's go. Hubba, hubba, hubba!
Knees high, knees high.

Okay, let's move over
to the blocking dummies.

Come on, Sonny.
Sonny? Over here.

All right, Granny.

What'll I give Granny? Six.

Seven.

Would, uh… Would that be a ten?

That's a ten.

All right, I wanna see you
really hit. On three.

Hup one! Hup two!
Hup three!

All right! Let's protect
the passer this time!

Let's go, babe! MAN 2: Get him.

Good idea.

I'm gonna pinch
your head off, you mother!

Hup one! Hup two!
Hup three!

Sorry, man. Nice tackle, Granville.

Hey, coach,
where the hell are all those

goddamn specialists
you promised me?

Jesus Christ.

There he is, Connie Shokner.

The very baddest cat
in the joint.

Even the guards
are terrified of him.

He killed five people
on the outside,

and two since he's been in here
with his bare hands.

That karate's bad.

That's before he learned karate.

Oh.

What's he doin' now?

Nobody's ever had the guts
to ask him.

Paul? Paul?

I smell a rat. Hello, Unger.

Paul.

I got something very important
I wanna ask you.

Paul, I wanna be manager.
Caretaker's manager.

I'm better than he is.

Let me prove it to you. Beat it, Unger.

Fuck off!

What have you got against me,
anyway? Why don't you like me?

I'm crazy about you.
I think you're terrific.

Friendship

is something that should never
be taken lightly, Paul.

I really want people to like me.

But they never do.

I'd like very much
to be your friend, Paul.

Well, it'd be an
honor and a privilege, Unger.

Now, if you'll just excuse me.

Paul?

You sure about that?

I can't be manager?

Caretaker's manager.

If I'd only found you
sooner. You know.

It's a good thing he loves you.

He burnt down a house
and roasted five people

he didn't like.

Ah, putty in my hands.

Come out, boy, come out.

Hello, Mr. Shokner.

You know how to play football?

Yeah.

Good.

Uh, would you like to play
football with us inmates?

No.Oh.

We're gonna play the guards.

Yeah, I wanna play.

He wants to play.

Thank you, Mr. Shokner.

Now remember,
nobody hits the quarterback.

Blue 28!

Set. Hup!

Goddamn it!

He broke my fuckin' nose!

You bastard!
You broke my fuckin' nose.

Calm down, Samson.

I'm gonna fix it for you,
all right?

I don't wanna play this game.

He broke my nose. I'm gonna fix it, okay?

Here we go.

How does it look?

It looks 100 percent
better, doesn't it?

Hundred percent. Oh, yeah.

It does? CREWE: Yeah.

He did that on purpose.

No, he didn't.Yes, he did!

All right.
Tell him you're…

Tell him you're sorry.

Please?

Okay. I'm sorry.

Okay, everybody,
huddle up. Let's go.

He said he was sorry.

Bullshit! You dumb…

Let's huddle up.
Let's go.

Try it again. CREWE: Three, 45!

Hup! Hup!

All right. What about
the rest of the team?

Outside of Crewe,

the only one who looks
like anything is Granville.

Granville can give you
real trouble.

All right, Unger, that's all.

Well? It's gonna be a turkey shoot.

He's right, sir.
We're gonna destroy 'em.

It's a cinch, boss.

A cinch. Destroy 'em.

Too cute.

That's what y'all said last year

before we lost
to Anacott Steel, remember?

There's no sense
us taking any chances,

lettin' ourselves get hurt.

So see what we can do
about Granville.

Yes, sir.

Hey, Granville,
get your ass over here.

Yes, sir, lieutenant.

What the hell you think
you're doin', boy?

You pick that up.

Yes, sir.

Now, what is your problem,
fat man?

Know why you spades is always
calling each other brother?

No, sir.

'Cause half of you don't know
who your daddy is,

so you just might be brothers.

Yes, sir, lieutenant.

You think that's funny,
don't you?

Yes, sir.

And you wanna hit me, don't you?

Who, me?
No, sir, lieutenant.

You're too
goddamn ignorant to know

when a man's calling you
a stupid, uneducated nigger.

Yes, sir, lieutenant.

May I go now, sir?

Yeah! Get out of my sight!

Blue 48!

Blue 48!

Set! Hup one!

Shit.

Hey, white white!

What the hell is this?

Here come the rain clouds.

What the fuck do they want?

Granny tells us
you need a little help.

Says you can guarantee us
no work detail.

Yeah.

Guarantee us special food
like Granny gets?

Yeah.

We get to hit those
damn guards like Granny said?

You get to hit 'em.

What else can we offer 'em?

I guess they gonna have
a Geneva conference.

What is this bullshit?

Well, Mr. Crewe,

looks like we've come to terms.

Compliments from the
Greater Chicago Youth Authority.

There goes the neighborhood.

You wanted to see me?

Yes, sir.

And especially Unger.

Unger? Yeah.

Unger has a direct pipeline
to Captain Knauer.

It's impossible for me
to have a secret practice

as long as Unger's around.

Hmm.

I'm supposed to reschedule
the yard activities

for three uninterrupted hours

of secret practice. Yes, sir.

That's right? Right.

And you will talk
to Captain Knauer?

I'll speak to the captain
on both those matters, yes.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Crewe,

just what is it
you have up your sleeve?

I'm just trying to give you
a football team, warden.

And along the way,
maybe give the men

some pride and dignity.

Of course,
only for a little while.

I know you've got something more

bouncing around inside
that head of yours.

You want a game, right? Mmm-hmm.

My men don't have a chance
in hell of winnin' that game.

You know it, I know it.

I just don't want them
to know it. Okay?

Man! I ain't eat steak
like this in five years!

I ain't "et" inside in six.

What've you done for me lately?

Today may be the high point
of a long and colorful career.

Three gigantic rip-offs.

First, I've got a box
of brand-new equipment

just waitin' to be stashed.

Compliments of
Captain Knauer, no less.

No less.
And the piece de resistance.

How would you like the Mean
Machine to have game films

of the Guardsmen in action?
Can you do that?

Warden's very own home movies.

Caretaker,
you never cease to amaze me.

Never.

But you said
three gigantic rip-offs.

That's only two.

You don't want to ruin
the surprise.

Surprise?

There is one thing. What's that?

You're gonna have to perform
a personal… service.

What kind of personal service?

The warden's expecting you.
Won't you come this way?

Thank you, captain. Thank you.

I'm glad you're not in the swamp
anymore. That can ruin a man.

Mmm, sure can.

We don't have
a great deal of time.

We have 15 minutes.Oh.

The game films. Thank you.
That's… terrific.

Like I said,
we only have 15 minutes.

Oh! Ohh!

Uh-uh-uh.
Won't go over the cuffs.

Oh. Heh.

Uh, you do this very often?

I'm just as far from Tallahassee
as you are, honey.

Shokner!

Shokner! Yeah?

You hit him high like
that, he's gonna break your back.

Breaks your back, gonna break
the superstar's back.

Don't worry about him.

I'll get that son of a bitch
with an "M.P."

Kee-yai! PLAYERS: Kee-yai!

Ready. Set. PLAYERS: Kee-yai!

Ready. Set. PLAYERS: Kee-yai!

You take this bandage. You dip
into the plaster of Paris.

You wrap it around the cast,

and in 15 minutes it becomes
as hard as a rock. You got it?

Got it!

This is a picture of
the walkin' boss. Yeah!

He once broke his right femur.
That's his thighbone.

Maybe you can give him
a clip or somethin'.

We'll break it again. Got it?

Got it! MAN: Right! We can do it!

Gentlemen, what we have here
in common parlance

is known as a set
of brass knuckles.

Temporary disabilities:

balls, gut, ribs.

You got it? ALL: Got it!

The ball is snapped
and you go into your point,

go into him blocking him
with your left arm

and bring this hand up
into his chin,

and I'll guarantee you,
gentlemen,

that he will be incapacitated
for the next several moments.

You got it? Okay. ALL: Got it!

Men, here's the play
we're gonna use.

I don't think the guards know
this formation.

It's called
"incidental punishment"

after the ball is blown dead.

Remember, any man you tackle

gets an extra elbow, knee,
or kick in the mouth.

Got it? ALL: Got it!

I am, without a doubt,

the finest maker of raisin jack
in the entire joint.

I'm gonna call this batch
Ole Caretaker.

You always keep it in there?

It seems like a logical place.

Mm-hmm.

Listen, you and me
are buddies, ain't we?

I got you laid.

I got you the game films.

I got you all them monsters.
I'm gettin' you drunk.

That you are. Heh-heh.

So one thing still bothers me.

What's that?

Why'd you shave them points?

I told you. For the money.

No, no, I mean…

Come on.
Give me the real reason.

You really wanna know, huh?

I never gave a shit about
football, or anything else.

The only thing
I ever care about's my old man.

My old man was blind.
He never saw me play.

Shit. I've been a professional
ever since I was 12 years old.

Hustlin' nickels and dimes
playin' pool.

Just trying to make enough money
to take care of him.

I figured when I got
in pro ball,

I'd make one big killin'.

One big one.

Make enough money,

set him up.

Take care of him
the rest of his life.

And the son of a bitch
up and died on me.

You buy that?

That's good,
because that's bullshit too.

Why do you think I, uh,
shaved the points?

For the money.

One minute to lockup.
One minute.

You know what my problem's been
all my life?

No. What?

I've always had
my shit together, always.

My problem's been
that I couldn't lift it.

I gotta go home.

You're gonna be
a party pooper? It's okay.

Some pro quarterbacks
drink all night long.

Mm, I know.

Good night.

Good night, Paul.

Here, aren't you
gonna take one with you?

Lock it up.

Lock it up! Lock up, men.

Lock it up.

Lock it up!

Come on, boy, move.

You wanna be tucked in
or something?

There's nothin' I can do
for you.

Crewe got to the warden.
But if you put me back

into general population,
one of those guys will kill me!

That's what usually
happens to finks.

But then you got
Crewe to thank for that.

He's the guy that blew
the whistle on you.

On you specifically.

You got problems. But
listen, I can help you!

Split right.
Fullback, dive right.

On one. Ready!

Twenty-eight!

Hup!

Set!

Hup!

That's my team!

All prisoners
report to their cells.

Shop 35 will begin
in ten minutes.

In ten minutes,
we expect all men in Shop 35

to meet outside the cell blocks.

Cell block 3-A will take
first call to dinner.

Dinner rotation will start
with cell block 3-A.

Shit. We don't know enough
about these guys.

Why don't we take
another look at the x-rays?

The medical files are on my bed.
Get them, will you?

Who do you see playin' flanker?

Miller.

Get the goddamn key!

Bring that key, goddamn it!

Come on, get the doors open!

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

and dust to dust,

we commend the soul
of James Caretaker Farrell.

And now the peace of God
which passeth all understanding,

shall guard your hearts
and souls.

And unto our god and father…

be glory forever and ever.

Amen.

Good afternoon, fellow
inmates, correctional officers,

honored guests,
ladies and gentlemen.

This is Matt "Killer" Farrell
broadcasting on

the intrastate correctional
facilities communication

broadcasting system
of your state prison.

This is part of
Warden Rudolph Hazen's

progressive rehabilitation
program.

Ah, this is indeed an historic
occasion,

ladies and gentlemen,
as we sit here

in this marvelous Edward J.
Hazen Memorial Stadium

provided for us by
our warden, Rudolph Hazen.

All right, stand for the warden!

Just so you'll know,

we've posted armed guards
all along the wall

and around the running track at
the public end of the field.

So, if any of you

are thinking of mingling
with the civilians

and wandering off with the crowd
at the end of the game,

we will shoot you.

Have a nice game, boys.

See you on the field, superstar.

All right, now it's our turn.

Here's a surprise
from the Caretaker.

Come on, come on!

♪ Born free ♪

♪ And life is worth living ♪

♪ But only worth living ♪

♪ 'Cause you're ♪

♪ Born free ♪

We wanna thank
the men of Cell Block C,

affectionately known as the
Citrus State Cheerios.

The teams are coming
on the field.

First,
the guards' defensive unit,

led by Captains Rassmeusen
and Igor Bogdanski.

Leading out the offensive unit,

the guards' coach and captain,
Wilhelm Knauer!

Let's hear it
for Warden Rudolph Hazen

who has sponsored
today's contest.

Let's get the ball game goin'.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Mean Machine!

They stole our new uniforms!

One of the all-time greats,

quarterback
for the Mean Machine,

Paul "Wrecking" Crewe!

The balance of the Mean Machine

with their coach, Nate Scarboro!

Will you please stand
and join Mike Sykes

in the singing
of our national anthem.

♪ O say can you see ♪

♪ By the dawn's early light ♪

♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪

What the hell are you
dressed up for, Halloween?

If you get far enough ahead,

maybe you'd let this one-legged
middle-aged kid have some fun.

Bullshit!

Call it in the air.Heads.

You said head. It is a head.
You've won the toss.

How the hell did you steal
our uniforms?

Cute, aren't they?

Have a real good clean
football game.

No matter what happens,
just keep stickin' it to 'em.

Now, who are we? PLAYERS: The Mean Machine!

The Mean Machine!
The Mean Machine!

The Mean Machine!
The Mean Machine!

Get that! Way to go! Way to go!

They're gonna go all the way.

Touchdown!

One, two. One, two.
Ready, go.

Get that ball, throw that ball!
And don't let it go!

Get that ball, throw that ball!
And don't let it go!

Get that ball, throw that ball!
And don't let it go!

Three, thirty-five.

Hup! Hup!

That kick was
blocked by Granville.

The point after is unsuccessful.

The score now is Guardsmen 6,

Mean Machine nothing.

Kick off for the Guardsmen.

Way to go! Way to go!

And he's pulled down!

The Mean Machine serpentines

their way up to
the line of scrimmage.

All right,
here comes the bad guys.

Pick 'em up! Pick 'em up!

Set. Hup!

Crewe down in the
end zone for a two-point safety

in a classic tackle
by number 61.

Rudanski?
Who the hell's supposed

to pick up the middle
linebacker on the blitz?

I am. Right!

A free kick. Charlie
Blue Eyes kicks the ball.

It's taken by Beazley.

And he's dropped for
a five-yard loss by number 66.

Mean Machine ball
on their own 32.

Crewe is fading to pass.

Crewe is hit by a vicious
tackle by Bogdanski.

Hup!

Paul goes back to throw.
He's reading the pass.

Mean Machine scores!

Damn!

All right, settle down.
Good hands.

Here we go. Little showboat
here. We're gonna fake it.

Roll out to the left
on a center snap. Ready?

And the Mean Machine

will line up for the
point after touchdown attempt.

Hike!

He sneaks it
through to the end zone.

That makes the score 8 to 7
in favor of the Guardsmen.

Defense!

Listen, if they fake
the walkin' boss, cover me.

I gotta get that bastard.
Bury that son of a bitch!

First and ten on the 31.

Dropped for a two-yard loss
on the 29 yard line.

Gimme them brass knuckles.

Take a good whiff.
Take a good whiff.

How many fingers? Three.

How many fingers? Great.Three.

If that Levitt comes up
the middle again,

I'm gonna clothesline
that son of a bitch.

Now's the time
to get him, Samson.

Four three maumau.
Four three maumau.

Ready, break! PLAYERS: Hey, hey, hey!

The receiver! Set. Hup!

Levitt was
clotheslined and he is not moving.

I think I broke
his fuckin' neck!

Way to go!

I think he broke
his fuckin' neck.

I told ya I broke
his fuckin' neck!

I think he broke
his fuckin' neck.

Sonny, if Knauer
drops back to punt,

nail that son of a bitch good.

You bet your ass.
I'll get him.

We need the ball!

Playing kind of a timid

or a chicken kind of football.

Gimme a break! Okay!

You see that, goddamn it?

What, are you blind
or something?

Shit! There ought to be
a goddamn trial for you.

Third and long.
He likes to throw on the flat.

Goes back and
throws a pass out on the flat.

Pass is intercepted.

Touchdown for the Mean Machine.

Way to go!

The conversion was blocked.

And the half ends
with the score,

Guardsmen 15, Mean Machine 13.

We will have the halftime
statistics in a few moments.

But right now it's time for our
gala halftime activities.

Any suggestions, sir?

Give your team
a little pep talk.

Yes, sir!

♪ You've got to be ♪
♪ A football hero ♪

♪ To get along ♪
♪ With a beautiful girl ♪

♪ You've got to be ♪
♪ A touchdown getter, you bet ♪

♪ If you wanna get ♪
♪ A baby to pet ♪

Hey, Crewe! What kind of
football you call that?

Same kind of football
you're playin'.

We were gonna
let you mothers slide.

Now we're gonna
hang you out to dry.

Hey, Wilhelm, hang loose.

We've got 'em on the run, baby!

Bastards are good!

Come on, damn it, let's go!

You call yourselves
a football team?

You're a bunch of candy asses!

They're laughin' at you
right now.

Right next door.
Listen to that.

Oh, what about Mawabe.
He's a big shot out there, man!

They're only two points up.
We'll take 'em in the second.

Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?

You wanted a game, you got one.

I never said anything
about winning.

Never said anything
about losing, either.

I'll spell it out for you.

We've got Unger in custody.

He's confessed
to killing Caretaker.

What?

He said you knew all about it.

Well, you didn't notify
Captain Knauer,

and that makes you an accessory.

You're full of crap.

Mr. Crewe, you sent
Caretaker to that cell.

You are an accessory to murder.

You could be looking
at 20 years and counting.

Bullshit! There's no way you
could make that stick in court.

No? Mr. Crewe,

you could be in this institution
until you are old and gray.

Or until you're dead,
whichever comes first.

I can promise you that.

You're gonna lose the game.

And I want a 21-point spread.

I can't do that!

Of course you can.

You've done it before.

If I give you the 21 points,

will you call off the dogs?

The dogs?

If you got the game in the bag,
you tell your guys to coast.

I don't want any of my men hurt.

You have my word.

Once we get the 21 points.

You know, there's only
one thing I'm sorry about.

What's that, Mr. Crewe?

That you're not out there
with us knocking heads.

I'm afraid I'm a little
too old for that.

No.

You never had the guts
to begin with.

You're playin' like
a bunch of girls out there!

Every one of you! Candy asses!

You know who's beatin' you
out there?

Scum's beatin' you out there!
Scum!

You know what that is? That's
the lowest part of the world!

Those are the criminals
and the rapists,

and the murderers out there!
You guys are supposed

to be representin'
law and order!

Supposed to have some decency,
some pride.

Hey, listen to this shit.

Somebody thinks he's Rockne.

You're lettin' the flag down.

Go out and do something
about it.

Offense and defense,
play together. Let's go now!

Come on!

You've just been guaranteed
a 21-point spread.

What?

Because of your
marvelous performance,

I was forced to make
a deal with Mr. Crewe.

In the second half,
we can beat this team.

I'm not interested in discussing

what you think might happen
in the second half.

You'll do as I told you, and
Crewe will do as I told him.

Yes, sir.

Now,

when you and your mental midgets
are 21 points ahead,

I want you to inflict as much

painful damage on the prisoners
as is humanly possible.

So you understand,
before this game is over,

I want every prisoner
in this institution

to know what I mean by power,

and who controls it.

We understand each other?

Yes, sir.

The score 15 to 13.

The second half of this
surprisingly close game

is about to get underway.

Ball taken by number 36.

Set. Hup!

Crewe's fading back.

He's getting good protection.
Looking for a receiver.

I'm open, man! I'm open!
Crewe! Crewe!

Pass!

Ah, shit!

Crewe is knocked for a loss.

I owned that hamburger
out there. Get rid of it.

And I was open all day long.
Can't you see?

Knock it off.
I'm callin' the plays.

Set. Hup!

The Guardsman
returns it to the 48 yard line

of the Mean Machine.

Way to rise up!

All right, no sweat.
It's no problem.

Come on, come on.
We'll get it back.

Touchdown!

The kick is good!

Let's stick it to 'em.
He's gonna choke.

Now! Now!
Now, now, now!

Passing situation.

He gets a pass off
and it's short.

Pass is picked off by number 21.

We got it. We got it.
We got it.

It's another
touchdown for the Guardsmen,

making that score
28 for the Guardsmen

and 13 for the Mean Machine.

What the hell
was that all about?

Having a bad day.

Haven't you ever had
a bad day before?

Get off my back!

What's the name of the team?

Mean Machine!

Set.

Hup. Hup!

And there's a fumble
at the line of scrimmage.

What is that?
Come on!

Why don't you change uniforms?
Bullshit!

Paul Crewe is taking himself
out of the ball game.

Paul Crewe is limping badly.
He's limping off the field.

Pop Steadman's gone out
to meet him

and is bringing him
to the bench.

We may have seen the last
of Paul Crewe for today.

We'll get this shoe off
and take a look at that ankle.

I'd like to give him one
of my M.P.s. I'd knock his head off.

It don't feel
like anything's broken.

Somebody step on it,
or did you twist it?

Twisted it.

Golden boy. Superstar.

We can thank Granny
for this crap.

Really sold us out,
didn't you, Crewe?

Anybody can see
he's throwing the game.

Get that ball And let's go!

All right, let's go!

It's a touchdown
for the Guardsmen,

making the score now 35 to 13

with five minutes, 58 seconds
left in the third quarter.

A third quarter
has been all Guardsmen.

The score is 35
for the Guardsmen

and 13 for the Mean Machine.

No point.

With 5:58
left in the third period,

the score remains
35 for the Guardsmen

and 13 for the Mean Machine.

Kill that Indian mother!

Get that Indian Mother Goose
with those skinny legs!

Good blocking!
Keep it up!

Come on there, come on.

The ball, third and
two on their own 37 yard line.

Hup!

Knauer fades to pass.
Puts it up in the air.

On me. Jesus Christ.
Another injury.

Come on.

Player number 74,
Shop Steward, is badly hurt.

He's bleeding badly.

Hands off for another
long gain. Nine yards.

Another injury
for the Mean Machine.

And it's Sonny Tannen.

Sonny Tannen, number 58,
was badly shaken up.

Cry baby son of a bitch!

My time.
Got a man down.

Got a man.

Hey, superstar. What kind of a
deal did you make this time?

What did Hazen promise you?

They're killing those guys
out there!

You don't even care!

Guardsmen's
ball on their own 48.

You know, he's right, Crewe.

You fooled the hell out of me.

I put my trust in you,
and you let me down like this.

I know you don't give a shit
about nothin'.

But I didn't think
you'd sell us out.

Hey, Granny,
better get back in there.

Four three inside flank.
Ready? Break.

Ball on the 48 yard line.
Ball going to Knauer.

He hands off.

Granny Granville
is… GUARDSMAN: Ha, Granny!

What is it? MAN
2: Broken collarbone.

You sure? MAN 2: I'm sure.

The officials are trying
to break up that fight.

Granny Granville is hurt.
He is holding his shoulder.

He appears to be very badly
hurt. Probably a broken bone.

He is on his feet.

Satisfied now?

Jesus, Sonny!

The officials are
now going to assess a penalty.

It's going to be 15 yards
for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Hey, Pop? Yeah?

That time you hit Hazen
in the mouth. Was it worth it?

Was it worth 30 years?

Yeah.
For me it was.

Give me my goddamn shoe.

Mean Machine, first and ten.

Wait a minute.

Paul Crewe, number 22,

is going back into the game
for the Mean Machine.

New quarterback.
Shok, go on the bench.

Move over.
Here we go.

Nickel defense, way to go. Fuck you.

Look who's back!
It's baby boy!

Set.

Set, my ass.

What the hell's
he trying to pull?

Hup! Uh-uh.

Get that superstar!

Behind the line of
scrimmage for a six yard loss.

That's the way it's gonna be,
huh?

They go back into a huddle.

There's the gun
ending the third quarter.

That's the quarter.
Let's change ends.

Hup! Ball goes back to Crewe.

He's going to pass
on fourth and long yardage.

He's going up the middle.

Crewe moves up the middle.

Way to do it, Paul!

The line is set.

Hup!

Shotgun left! Shotgun!

Hup! Hup!

Crewe is looking for a receiver.
Can't find one.

Where in the hell's he goin'?

There's a figure that
graced the polo grounds for years.

What are you guys
so surprised about?

Didn't think I was gonna let you
have all the fun, did you?

Bootleg on one.
Ready? Break!

Okay, come on, come on now.
Keep it alive, keep it alive.

Set.

Hup!

Ball goes back to Crewe.
A key block is thrown.

It's a first down.

First down on the 20 yard line.

Got your confidence back?

Get Scarboro. Hard-nosed son of a bitch.

Flankers out left and right.

Hup, hup.

Bogdanski hit Nate Scarboro
with a cheap shot.

A most reprehensible action.

Old Double "O" is down and
he seems to be badly hurt.

How is it, Nate? I love it.

After all these years,

ow, my first touchdown.

Gotta be his knee. I heard it
pop clear across the field.

Let's get him up.

You'll be all right, Nate.
Hang in there.

Hey, Paul, you've gotta do it.

Screw Hazen!

Don't worry.
He'll get his.

Good old Nate Scarboro.

One of the most beloved men
this institution has ever had.

The extra-point kick is good.

Tightening that score now
to 35 to 20.

If Blue Eyes here can kick
the ball ten yards,

think one of you bastards
can fall on it?

Right on, man, right on! Let's go.

Charlie Blue Eyes
approaches the ball and he boots it.

It's an onside kick!

Poupaw recovers
for the Mean Machine.

Shut up! Shut up!

You guys are stinking
the place up.

Can we take 'em? PLAYERS: Yeah!

Split right.

On two. Ready? ALL: Break!

Set.

Hup! Hup!

Ball goes to Crewe,
Crewe hands off to number 30.

Cut it back!
Cut it back!

Good for 23 yards.
Crewe is down at the ten yard line.

A beautiful piece
of razzle-dazzle.

Paul Crewe reached into his bag
of tricks that time, folks.

Crewe handed off to Indian.
Indian hands off to…

He's in for the score.

Charlie Blue Eyes
splits the uprights.

And that makes it 35
to 27.MAN: Easy, Nate. Easy.

How we doin'? GRANVILLE: Doin' fine.

There you go, Nate.
There you are.

I heard you were on your way in.

Hey, he tell you
about my touchdown?

Ladies and
gentlemen, with five minutes

and four seconds left
in the fourth quarter,

there is now only
an eight point difference.

Here we go.

Blue Eyes, can you
drop kick from here?

I can try. Drop kick?

It's fourth and four.
We're gonna drop-kick.

Shotgun, drop-kick on one.

Ready? Break!

The ball goes
back to Charlie Blue Eyes.

Charlie Blue Eyes drop kicked!

I haven't seen one of those
in 25 years. Good as gold.

What the hell was that?
That was a drop kick.

Drop kick. How much does that count?
Drop kick.

Three points. Three points. Three points?

For that? Bullshit!

The score stands
Guards 35, Mean Machine 30.

It's fourth and 21
for the Mean Machine

on their own 39 yard line.

Crewe is fading.

He dumps it off on the pass.

Bogdanski saves a touchdown.

Bogdanski is really wreaking
havoc on that Mean Machine team.

All right, quiet down.
Listen to me. Listen to me!

We're gonna let Bogdanski
come right through.

Nobody touch that big mother.

You got it?
I wanna try something now.

If it works,
everybody hit him, right?

Right!

Split right, ball curl on one.

Ready? ALL: Break!

Red left!

Blue 69.

Blue 69.

Set.

Hup!

Wow. They're in a tangle now.

There is a penalty of 15 yards
against the Mean Machine

for unnecessary roughness.

That pass sure didn't
look like, uh…

Like it was an accident.

Bogdanski is staggering,
but he is up.

He is up and on his feet.

Okay, we got 15.
Huddle up on the ball.

Come on, let's huddle up.

Huddle up!

Unbelievable.

Bog, come on,
get yourself outta here.

Come on! I know what I'm doing!

Worked once.
Ought to work again, right?

All right.
One more… One more time.

One two. Ready? ALL: Break!

It is third and
32 for the Mean Machine.

Set.

Hup! ANNOUNCER: Paul goes back.

He passes.

Crewe hits Bogdanski
with the ball right in the…

In the nether region.

He's not breathing.

Do something, man.
Try mouth-to-mouth.

You want to?

No way.

Ambulance. Help!

They're taking Bogdanski
off the field in an ambulance.

What a…

Set. Hup.

Hup!

He pushed off!
He pushed off!

You can't see,
you blind son of a bitch!

What's goin' on here? Hey, Walking Boss.

Here's your cryin' towel.

You big, fat-ass son of a bitch!

You get off this field! Goddamn!

First down.

Time out. Time out.

Jesus!

Come on, let's go.
Let's take it in.

Spooner, you wanna hit somebody?

All right.
Tackle eligible.

Mawabe, talk to me.
What are you gonna do?

I'll step one step off the line.
I'll step on it.

All right, on one. Ready? ALL: Break!

Machine's ball, first and ten
on the Guards' 31 yard line.

Blue 28. Blue 28.

A tense moment with
less than a minute 57 seconds left.

Hup!

Spooner goes
down on the one yard line.

Protest that play!

Crewe, call time.

Time! Time, ref.

Time! Time!

It's first and goal
to go on the one yard line

as Crewe calls time out with
40 seconds left on the clock.

Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!

Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!

Mean Machine!

We got no time.
Quiet down.

Split right. Joe Jackson,
split right, sweep left.

On one. Ready? ALL: Break!

Blue 28. Blue 28.

Set. Hup!

Steps out of
bounds to stop the clock.

Twenty-five seconds left to go.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is really a ball game.

This is a great ball team.
They're out here.

They're giving these Guardsmen
the fight of their lives.

Hold up.

Split right, roll out right,
option pass. Be waiting, Mason.

On two. Ready? ALL: Break!

Second and goal. Blue 28.

Blue 28. Set.

Hup!

Hup!

Ball to Crewe.
He fades to pass.

He throws. He overthrows Mason
in the end zone.

Stopping the clock again
with 16 seconds left.

I'm sorry.
Here we go.

Boot right, dive left again.

Listen, if we don't make it,
everybody yell "time."

On one. Ready? ALL: Break!

Blue 29. Blue 29. Set.

Hup!

Time! Time!

And Crewe calls for his third
and last time out

with seven seconds left
on the clock.

Where's he going?

Come on.
Let's find out.

Crewe has
taken his last time out,

and he's heading toward
the Mean Machine bench.

He's heading toward the bench

followed by
the entire offensive unit.

Most unusual,
ladies and gentlemen.

I don't know what
they're doing down there.

It's silent as a church.

It looks more like
a prayer meeting

than it does like a huddle.

Whatever happens,
regardless of the outcome,

this has been
one fantastic showing.

We've come too far together
to stop now.

For Granny, for Nate,

for Caretaker.

Let's do it!

Blue 44.

Blue 44.

Set.

Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!

That's enough!
Hold it down!

Set.

Hup!

Crewe scores!

He scores!

36, 35 in favor
of the Mean Machine!

Ladies and gentlemen, like the
fabled phoenix of old…

Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!

Mean Machine!
Mean Machine!

Granny, you son of a bitch!

Goddamn it!

You guys ain't half bad. You're right.

Fuck you, boy.

Not today, boss.

History!

We stopped 'em. We could
be number one. We are number one!

Where's your goddamn
power theory now, huh?

He's trying to escape.

Bullshit. Officer!

Crewe! I'm talking to you!

Crewe!

He's trying to escape.
Here, shoot him!

Crewe! You gonna let him get away?

Shoot him! Crewe!

Soot him, you… Shoot him! Crewe!

Crewe! Kill him!

Kill that son of a bitch!
Shoot him!

Game ball.

Stick this in your trophy case.

I knew you could do it!