The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (1930) - full transcript

It looks like the boys won't need to fish off the end of the pier to feed themselves any longer when Stanley's rich uncle Ebenezer Laurel dies, leaving a large estate. But when he and Oliver arrive for the reading of the will, they learn that Ebenezer was murdered, and that Stan, along with all the other relatives, is a prime suspect.

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Say, was your father and mother's
name Laurel?

Sure. Why?

Did you ever have any relatives?

Where were you born?

l don't know.

Fancy not knowing where you were born.

Well, l was too young to remember.

How do l know where l was born?

Didn't you once tell me
that you had an uncle?

Sure l've got an uncle. Why?



Now we're getting someplace. ls he living?

No. He fell through a trap door
and broke his neck.

Was he building a house?

No. They were hanging him.

Poor old Unc.

Here. Read that.

Three million dollars.

ls that as much as a thousand?

Why, man alive! lt's twice as much!

Gee whizz!

And is that all mine?

lf l can convince them that you're the heir...

we'll be living in luxury the rest of our lives.

Now, you just leave everything to me.
Come on.



- There, there now.
- Oh.

Pardon me. What time
are you going to read the will?

Sorry to disappoint you but there
ain't gonna be no reading of no will.

Well, what are we here for?

l'll tell you what you're here for.

You're here because Ebeneezer Laurel
didn't die a natural death.

He was murdered!

Take care of her, Boyd.

This is an outrage! An absolute outrage!

Maybe it is and maybe it ain't

but you're gonna stay right here
in this house until somebody cracks.

l'm sorry, Officer, but l think l'll be going.
l have tickets for the theatre.

Hey. Show this gentleman to his seat.

Now, get this, folks.

l've got a hunch that Ebeneezer Laurel
was murdered by a relative,

so that said relative
will come into all his dough.

No! Y-You can't do this!
l didn't murder him. Honest l didn't!

l hardly knew the old man!

Siddown and keep quiet.

You're all under suspicion of the murder

until we find out
which one of you pulled the job.

Now, let that sink in.

That'll be all for tonight.

The housekeeper will show you
to your rooms.

And don't any of you try any of that escape
stuff because the house is surrounded.

This is terrible!

- Keep your eye on them.
- Oh, yes, sir.

See who that is.

And no monkey business.

Pardon me, my good man, but is this
the home of the late Ebeneezer Laurel?

Yes, sir.

What is the nature of your business, sir?

This is Mr Laurel esquire -
the heir to the Laurel estate.

Very well, gentlemen. Just a minute.

What a beautiful home. And what luxury.

And to think it's all ours.

What do you mean, ''ours''?

lt's mine.

There you are.

Just like all the rest of 'em.

Sitting on top of the world
and turning down your best pal.

Your benefactor.

l might have known it.

Well...

Goodbye...and good luck.

'Twas ever thus.

Oliver?

Are you really going?

So you would turn me out, eh?!

Let me tell you something!
Heir or no heir, l'm not leaving this house!

And, furthermore, l'm gonna get half
of everything that's coming to you!

- Good evening.
- Good evening, sir.

This is Mr Laurel.

Are you sure you're a Laurel?

Sure? Sure? Why, can't you see
the family resemblance?

Yeah? That happens to be General Grant.

Of course it's General Grant.

His son and l belong
to the same alma mater -

meaning Delta-Phi-Delta.

''Ra ra ra, ra ra ra.

''Sis, boom, ra.''

Now that that's all settled,
would you mind if we had a look at the will?

That'll be attended to later...

when we find out who murdered
Ebeneezer Laurel.

There won't be any reading
of the will tonight?

No. Not tonight.

- Well, goodbye. We'll see you later.
- Wait a minute.

You'll stay right here.

You don't think
we had anything to do with it?

l'm not saying

but l believe that the criminal always returns
to the scene of his crime.

Jack.

Show them to a room.

This way, gentlemen.

Don't you think
you're overstepping your bounds?

- Good night.
- Good night.

Why is everything covered?

This is the room...

where the old man was murdered.

His body...

was found in that cupboard.

Good night, gentlemen.

l hope you have a nice long sleep.

Pardon me.

Well, here's another nice mess
you've gotten me into.

What do you mean, l got you into?

Well, your name's Laurel, isn't it?

Well, only on my mother's side.

You see, it was like this, l...

Mother's side!

Oh! Get...! Oh!

Aagh! Oh-h-h!

ls everything all right, gentlemen?

Yes, sir.

Good night.

l think we'd better get to bed.

- Ollie.
- What?

You remember what you said to me
downstairs a few minutes ago?

About you're going to get half
of everything that was coming to me?

Yeah.

Well, l've been thinking.

What do you mean?
l'm not gonna get my half?

- No.
- Then what do you mean?

No. l didn't want you to feel slighted.

You can have it all.

Get to bed!

Ollie?

- What's the matter?
- l'm scared.

There's nothing to be afraid of.
Dead men can't hurt you.

Now, lie down and relax.

Get the l-l-light.

Aagh! Ooh!

Get the light! Get the light!

You're wanted on the phone.

Down in the library room.

Listen, fellas. When l was in there...
Get back to bed!

- Where are you going?
- l'm going home.

- What for?
- l can't relax.

You're wanted on the phone...downstairs.

Why don't you be careful?

Shh!

Say, l think there's something mysterious
going on here.

l've had enough of this.
l'm gonna find out what it's all about.

Wait for me.

What are you tryin' to do, scare us to death?

- No, sir.
- Get up to your room. All of you!

Get up there.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Let me out!

What's going on here?

Help! Aagh!

Aa-aa-aah!

See what that is. Wait a minute!

l think you two birds
are at the bottom of this.

- You can't do this to us...
- The relatives have all disappeared!

Go get some help.
l'll take care of these birds.

Where were you on the night
of November 15th?

- November 15th?
- Yes.

- The day before Christmas?
- No. The day after Christmas!

November 15th.

November.

Septober, Octember, No-wonder... Feb...

Are you trying to kid me?

Say, you! Where were you
on the night of November 15th?

l was with him.

And now the old man's millions are mine.

What about the other two?
The shabby gentlemen.

A good idea. Dead men tell no tales.

l went...in...er...

You're wanted on the phone, sir.

Wait a minute!
Frank, answer that and find out who it is.

Aaah!

You stay here!

Aagh! Help! Police!

You're still wanted on the phone.

Wait a minute.
You've got me in enough trouble.

l'll answer the phone.

Aaah!

Get away!

What are you trying to do?