The Last Gentleman (1934) - full transcript

Subtitles: Lu?s Filipe Bernardes.

- Does Mrs. Augusta Pritchard live here?
- Yes.

Telegram.

Is this a welcome for the prodigal son?
Where's the pot of jam?

Where are the maidens strewing flowers?
What, no brass bands?

Hello, Mr. Allan!
What are you doing home?

It's the middle of June, my Matilda,
and school is out.

- Who's that for, me?
- No, your mother.

- Is Mother home?
- What is that noise, Matilda? Who is it?

Two pieces of bad news
have come, Mother. Me and a telegram.

Telegram? Oh, my goodness!



Who from, what does it say?
Is it really bad news?

Here, here, no welcome for me?

- Dear me!
- Oh, this suspense is terrible.

It's from My brother Cabot.
What does he want?

Why, he's having a memorial service
at Barrville...

for Lovesy Barr tomorrow noon at twelve.

He expects us both to be there.

How can Cabot order services
for Lovesy when...

when they're not absolutely
sure she's dead?

That's right, some of the missionaries
escaped, didn't they?

Yes, they ran, but Lovesy would never run,
she was a Barr.

All right, your niece has been drowned
in China, or maybe she hasn't.

We're asked to a memorial service,
you're going. I'm staying home.

I don't have to go, I'm not a Barr.



When I adopted you you became
a member of the family.

Oh hello, dear, how are you?
I'm so glad you're here. It's about time.

- Mrs. Helen Barr?
- Yes.

Sign here, please.

Thank you.

- Mother!
- Yes, dear?

- Telegram for you.
- A telegram? Open it, Marjorie.

- It's from Cabot Barr.
- Your grandfather?

After all these years.

As you may or may not know,
Lovesy is probably dead, stop.

Drowned in China, stop.

Probably, stop.

They never recovered her body, stop.

Memorial services will be held at
my house tomorrow, twelve noon.

Stop.

Goodness, Mommy, this is insane.
"Probably drowned in China."

Whether she's dead or not,
we'll have a memorial service.

It's just the sort of thing your
grandfather would do.

You don't know what he's like,
you can't remember.

Why is he suddenly sending you
this disgusting invitation?

- Is it an invitation?
- Of course it is.

It's evident he wants to
make up with you.

- Are you going?
- Do you want to go?

- I'm not asked.
- No! Then we won't go.

We'll send flowers.

- Perhaps you'd better go, Mommy.
- Why should I?

He behaved like a lunatic when you
were born because you weren't a boy.

I stood his temper as long as I could...

and finally I marched out of the house
bag and baggage.

Baggage? Does that include me, Mommy?

- Well, what is it?
- It's for Mr. Barr.

- He said he wasn't to be disturbed.
- Give it to me.

- Yes?
- A telegram for you, Judd.

This place smells like a speakeasy.

I don't see why you're kicking up
all this fuss about a few thousand.

Ordinarily we'd extend your credit,

but as you know, Barr,
your father is a little peculiar.

Yes, he might leave his
money elsewhere.

It won't make a particle of difference
if he does.

- I'll get it.
- Yes?

I expect you gentlemen to keep
the contents of this book to yourselves.

A little record of his so-called
eccentricities.

In case my father proves himself
unresponsive...

to the devotion of his only son,

I think this will settle matters
in my favor.

Claude.

How can I concentrate with that
thing playing? Turn it off.

I can't turn it off while it's playing
that particular tune, sir.

Mr. Barr would be furious.

You know he likes that song
better than anything in the world.

I always turn it on while he's dressing.

Yes, I know, but I can't keep
my mind on...

I'm sorry, sir.

This stuff you put on my hair.

Makes me smell like a French novel.

I say, Cabot, what's the idea
of this memorial service?

I'm holding services for Lovesy
because she was a Barr.

She was my late brother's only daughter.

And she did something.

I have a great respect for people
who do something.

That goes there.

She certainly had been raised to go
to China and become a missionary.

So she went. Though personally
she loathed the Chinese.

That's the sort of stuff the old Barrs
are made of.

All right, I didn't say they weren't.

Besides,

I wanted some excuse for bringing
the remnants of my family together.

I want to see how they look
at each other.

I want to see how they look at me.

I can't give Christmas parties,
I'm not that sort of a man.

So I thought we'd have a family funeral.

- Have you stopped the clocks, Claude?
- Just those on the second floor, sir.

- What about those downtairs?
- I was just going to stop them...

when you asked me to shave you.

- Well, I'm shaved.
- Yes, sir.

Why don't you put your black jack
on your red queen?

Who's playing the solitaire anyway?

Those were the Barrs.
Fine upstanding Barrs, those were.

That was Sir Joshua Barr.
A great man.

Queen Bess's time.

Accompanied Essex on that disastrous
expedition to Ireland.

Came back with him.

And Elizabeth chopped off Essex' head.

Chopped off Joshua'a head too.

He looks thick-necked enough. I'll bet the
executioner had to take two chops.

He did!
But Joshua never winced.

The first Cabot Barr.

Helped Cromwell to get rid of Charles.

Afterwards disagreed with Cromwell...

and lost his head.

All the Barrs seem to have
lost their heads.

In the line of duty yes!

In a crisis never.

Those were the old Barrs.

And I had hoped that my descendants
were going to carry on the tradition.

And what do I draw for a son?

Judd, a pussyfoot,
a washout, a gambler,

waiting to squander the Barr
fortunes as soon as I'm gone.

If your son Warren had only lived.

Yes... but he didn't.

And if his wife Helen had only
had a boy...

instead of that sniveling female
infant she produced, we...

Oh well, today there are no Barrs
worthy of the name.

How are you, Claude?

Why, ma'am, you haven't
changed a bit.

You've changed, Claude,
you're looking better.

- Is Mr. Barr expecting you?
- Well, he wired me,

but whether he's expecting
me or not, I can't say.

- This is the baby.
- Miss Marjorie, it don't seem possible.

Is Mr. Barr expecting her?

- I think not.
- Well, ma'am...

Don't be afraid, Claude.
We've been turned out once before.

We can stand it again.

- Have a cigar, Henry?
- No, no, no, thanks.

- I'll have a cigarette.
- You boys...

Cabot, did you ask Helen for today?

I sent her a wire.

- Did you tell her to bring the girl?
- Certainly not!

I don't suppose Helen
will come either.

There she is.
Proud as a peacock.

Look at her.
Proud, aren't you?

Pigheaded, that's what you are!

After sixteen years I make the first
advance and you ignore it.

All right, you can go to the devil!

Now you're exciting yourself.
Here, let feed your pipe.

Go away! I don't enjoy holding
hands with you.

I'll go downstairs and see who's come.

Yes, but Cabot, don't be rude
to your family.

- I'm never rude to my family.
- Oh, no!

I sometimes tell them a few
bold truths.

It does them good.

- Well, you go and see who's there!
- I haven't finished my game.

Now, Henry, you've got a black ten
on a red queen.

And there are two nines
on top of one another.

You're one of those cheating old maids.

Oh!

How many clocks has Mr. Barr
in the house now, Claude?

A hundred and four, ma'am.

Or rather, a hundred and five
with the new one.

A hundred and six when the other one
he ordered comes.

That'll be Wednesday.

Any other fancies my father
has indulged in lately, Claude?

- Fancies, sir?
- Like clocks, things like that.

None that I can think of, sir.

Unless you'd call the stuffed
peacocks a fancy.

- Stuffed peacocks?
- Yes, sir, for the summer camp.

Although he's not going up there
this year.

Not going up? Why not?

Mr. Loring was telling him he'd
better go. It would do him good.

And so... well, you know
conferring he is.

Yes... but you haven't explained
about the stuffed peacocks.

Oh, yes, sir.
Your father likes peacocks.

Thinks they're a nice decoration.

But live ones, you know, make such
ugly noises...

so he's going to have stuffed
ones instead.

He's going to put them on the lawn.

- On the lawn?
- Yes.

Stuffed peacocks on the lawn.

Where's the family?
Is everybody here?

Well! Aunt Augusta, how are you?

Badly.

- How do you do, Aunt Augusta?
- How are you, Retta?

Claude, where are you going?

- To stop the clocks.
- You might take my things.

The household.

- This is a very sad occasion for all of us.
- You don't have to tell me what it is.

I know... perfectly well, poor Lovesy.

I was going to... to...

Augusta, Augusta, guess who's here?

Oh, I'm much too old for guessing
games, Henry Loring.

- Helen Barr and her daughter.
- Helen in this house, where?

Come on.

- Helen!
- Augusta!

- So, Cabot finally gave in.
- Yes, he sent for me.

This is Allan.

- How do you do, Allan?
- How do you do?

You're growing very pretty, my dear.
- Don't you think she's like her grandfather?

- Is he very pretty?
- He's an ugly old devil.

Allan, this is Marjorie.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

- Oh, hello, Judd.
- How are you, Helen?

- This is my wife Retta.
- How do you do? Er...

Marjorie... this is my daughter Marjorie.

This is your uncle Judd
and your aunt Retta.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

Reunions, reunions always do
this to me.

Allan, your handkerchief.

I gave you the only one I had,
what did you do with it?

I don't know, I don't...
Judd...

Oh, thank you, thank you.

- Have you seen your father?
- He's not down yet.

My opinion is that Father is
a very sick man.

- Nonsense.
- Mr. Loring agrees with me.

Why, Henry Loring is a fool.
Henry, you're a fool.

Oh, thank you, Augusta.

You might as well all go back home.

There's been a mistake.
My niece Lovesy has let me down.

- She's not dead.
- What are you talking about?

This cablegram just came.

From the American consul at Zhoukou.

"Have found woman suffering
from amnesia,

who answers description of
Miss Lovesy Barr."

Why, that's wonderful news.

- There you are, I told you so.
- But it may not be Lovesy.

The cable only says this woman
looks like her.

Nobody ever looked like Lovesy
but Lovesy.

That's her great-aunt Katherine.

- Claude!
- Yes, sir.

- Have you stopped the clocks?
- Yes, sir.

- Well, start them again.
- I beg your pardon, sir?

What are you begging my pardon for,
what have you done? Start the clocks.

Yes, sir.

- There'll be no service after all.
- No.

Sorry to disappoint you.
You can all go home.

Well, you're going to ask us
to stay for lunch, aren't you?

If you're hungry, and think
you can stand it.

- What do you mean?
- Well, the whole family...

feeding to get up and then go fight.

I don't advise it.

- So you came.
- So you sent for me.

I merely sent you a wire
stating certain facts.

Your coming was an act
of pure volition on your part.

I came because you asked me to.

Sixteen years.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

- What for?
- For your pigheadedness,

for your filthy temper,
for deserting me.

You forbad me to enter your house,
what did you expect me to do?

I expected you to come back
and ask for my forgiveness.

What for?

Don't keep on using that gutter-English
'what for'.

Where did you pick it up?

I was sent out into the gutter
sixteen years ago.

Don't exaggerate.
You were a pretty little one.

Well... let's have a look at you.

- I must say that you've worn well.
- Thank you.

Your face is a trifle rattled.

But thank heaven you've kept
your stomach down.

Thank heaven for that.

If women were only trained
on their stomachs,

and watched their spread amidships,

the world would be a far pleasanter
place for a man to live in.

You haven't asked after...

Well, here we are, a family party.

What a collection.

Augusta, you're bulging in the most
outrageous places.

- No, Cabot, I am not!
- Yes, you are.

You're convex where you ought
to be concave and vice-versa.

Cabot, I won't have you treat
me that way.

Ah, she has blood pressure,
yes, you have!

Those hot puffs on her face at the least
emotion, they're blood pressure.

She'll go out and pop one
of these days...

in a fit of apoplectic rage,
you mark my words.

- Wouldn't you like to meet...
- Uh... and uh...

Look at... look at little Retta here.

She's only thirty five.

- How old are you, Retta?
- Why, thirty five.

There you are!
Now, when she was first thirty five,

some six or seven years ago,

she was as narrow as an eel.

She's skinny now, but she's spreading...
she's unmistakeably spreading.

Really, Father!

And, uh, look at my son Judd.

If you can do so without shuddering.

He not only bulges but he...

Well, this is about Judd,
it doesn't matter.

I think grandfather is rather a darling.

Oh... do you?

I'm sorry I can't return the compliment.

Marjorie.

And why in heaven's name
do you think I'm a darling?

I don't know.
You're funny.

Funny?

I think of funny things but I haven't
the courage to say them.

What kind of funny things
do you think of?

The kind of things you say.

- At your age?
- I suppose it's because I'm like you.

- You're not the slightest bit like me.
- Mother says I am.

And punishes you for it,
I suppose.

Oh, no, she says I have some
of your good qualities.

And tell her that I was not aware that
she recognized any good qualities in me.

- Telegram for you, sir.
- Oh!

What is it?

- Claude!
- Yes, sir.

- Did you start the clocks?
- Yes, sir.

Well, stop them again.

Cabot, what is it?

The woman who was suffering
from amnesia has recovered.

She's a Russian dancer
from the former Imperial Ballet.

- Lovesy couldn't dance a flip.
- It isn't Lovesy.

Lovesy's dead.
We'll have her service after all.

Oh my, please! Not only drowned
but mistaken for a Russian dancer.

- Allan, give me your handkerchief.
- You had it.

What did you do with the one
I gave you?

- Here, dear, take mine.
- Thank you.

Give her a chair, somebody.

We'll all sit down until Augusta
has finished sniffling.

So...

Are you finished?

Lovesy is finally and irrevocably dead.

The last of the Barrs, except us.

Well, I expect you'll be the next, Augusta,
with that blood pressure of yours.

Cabot, I won't have you talk
about such things.

Oh, very well, I'll be the next,
if you like.

Remember, I want to be buried
in white satin.

Oh, don't.

And not gray, which I know
is your favorite color.

White... Helen!

If Augusta dies before I do,
remember white satin for me.

I'll remember, Father.

I'll die when I like and not before.

Cabot, don't talk about such things,
they're horrible.

Horrible? Not at all.
On the contrary, very beautiful.

I've earned my living,
I haven't been niggardly.

Life's been like a bottle of
fine old wine.

I've drunk slowly and with discrimination.

And I'm about ready for the next bottle.

Death, the next bottle.

The Lord made them both,

so I know the second bottle
won't be bitter.

It comes from the same vineyard
that the first.

Oh, dear.

Meanwhile, I'm a trifle bored.
Too much family.

I'll go to my room and play solitaire.

I'm a stupid player...
without cheating.

Let me help you, Father.

I learned to walk without help some
seventy-odd years ago.

I'm still able to do it.

I suppose you'd let me fall down...

and break every bone in my body
before you'd offer to help me.

I didn't think you wanted anyone
to help you, Grandfather.

All right, she can stay for the service.

It will do her good.

She probably never reads her Bible.

I beg your pardon,
I didn't see you there.

It's so comfortable here.

- Claude.
- Yes, sir?

- How long before the service begins?
- In fifteen minutes.

The family are out in the conservatory
having a glass of sherry wine.

- Wouldn't you care to join them?
- I just came from there.

They're not only having sherry
but an argument.

That seems to be a Barr characteristic,
doesn't it?

- They do dispute among themselves.
- They do.

By the way, Mrs. Helen Barr's
little girl wasn't there.

Isn't she entitled to a glass of sherry?

She didn't seem to want any, sir.

But being a Barr you'd think she'd want
to join in the argument.

- She's rather pretty, isn't she?
- Very, sir.

I mean, it's too bad that a pretty girl
like her should be such a hypocrite.

Hypocrite, sir?

Didn't you see the way she was
making up to the old man?

You can't tell me that she did that
for any other reason...

except that she's after his money.

What's the matter, got a cold?

- No, sir.
- But she won't get it.

She's only a female Barr.

But a very pretty one, sir, eh?

Oh, pretty enough, but greedy.

- Where is she?
- Right behind you, sir.

- Spying, eh?
- Reading.

You let me go on talking about you and did
nothing to show that you were present.

- What should I have done.
- You could have made a noise of some sort.

Those remarks you made,

particularly that one about my being
after my grandfather's money...

deserves much more than a noise.

You should have your face slapped,
don't you think so, Claude?

Well, miss, of course he didn't
know you were here.

That's all the more reason for his
not saying things like that, isn't it?

Well now, miss...

A gentleman doesn't do that sort
of thing, does he, Claude?

Well, miss...
I'm afraid a gentleman doesn't.

I think I'd better go now.

Ex-convict.

You seem to get a delight
in knocking everybody here.

Well, that's what he is.
Everybody knows he's been in prison.

Your grandfather had him released twenty
years ago and hired him as his butler.

I know all about it.

Only a Barr would do a crazy
thing like that.

Only a Barr would have the courage.

So you think I said those things to my
grandfather because I'm after his money.

- Sounded that way.
- You're a stinker.

- What did you say?
- You're a complete, unmitigated,

thorough, post-graduate stinker.

All right, I'm a stinker.

And you have no designs on
your grandfather's money.

Oh, no...

Excuse me, I just remembered I forgot
to stop the cuckoo clock.

That would be a fine to-do right in
the middle of the service, wouldn't it.

I mean, if it went off suddenly.

Mr. Barr would boil me in oil.

Swell idea if he did.

So, you think I'm after my
grandfather's money.

- That's what I think.
- All right!

- What are you doing?
- Starting the clocks.

- But your grandfather...
- Yes, he will loathe it!

- He'll raise a terrible hullabaloo.
- So will the clocks probably.

That'll prove to you that I'm not
after his money.

- He'll have you thrown out of the house.
- Or boiled in oil.

- Scared, aren't you?
- Me scared?

Afraid he might suspect you.

Oh, am I? Well, I'll stop them
all over the house.

- I'll show you whether I'm scared or not.
- I'll do all my clock starting.

- Good morning, Dr. Weston.
- Good morning.

As soon as the family are ready
I'll give you the signal.

No... I have a very bad cold.

- In fact, I've practically lost my voice.
- That's too bad, sir.

When I blow my nose...

I'm all right again for a while.

But unfortunately in a few moments,
in fact, almost immediately,

it starts up again...

and I become quite inaudible.

Dear, dear, that's most
unfortunate, sir.

However, Claude, I shall do my best
on this occasion.

As I do on every other occasion.

The town's people have come
and Dr. Weston is ready.

I'll go up and tell Mr. Barr.

All right...
You may all sit down.

Would you like me to sit
next to you, Father?

No.

Where's that girl?

Oh, there you are.

Don't rustle.

Remember this is no theater.

It's not an entertainment.

It's a very solemn occasion.

All right.
We may begin.

They're ready, sir.

My friends,

we are gathered here on this
solemn occasion...

to do honor to the memory...

of our departed sister Lovesy Barr.

A woman of great...

A woman of great character.

of sterling qualities.

And I am proud to say...

(speaking inaudibly)

- What's the matter with the man?
- He's suffering from a very bad cold.

- What's that?
- He's blowing his nose, sir.

Though man's span of life
is but three score year and ten,

a very short period, my dear friends.

Though he labor...

Though he labor to produce...

I say, though he labor to produce...

Yes, and it profit him nothing...

if he is...

I doubt whether it would do this graceless
and disgraceful gathering any good,

but nevertheless, I will say grace.

Why are you all brooding over your soup?

At your age, Augusta,
I should call it a silly prank.

Call what a silly prank?

Starting those clocks.

Why... Why, Cabot, how can
you say such...

I did nothing of the kind.

Oh... Oh... Oh, my Goodness!

I gather that you're trying
to deny your guilt.

Trying to deny it?

You think for one moment that could...

Tears in a woman are a sure sign
of a guilty conscience.

I won't stay in your house
another moment!

I absolutely refuse to eat your food.

Sit down, son.

Just because my sister displays
bad manners...

there's no reason why you should.

She probably only helped to start
the clocks.

It was somebody else's idea.

Somebody who wished to see me
in an early grave.

That can be only one person.

Well, Judd, what do you have
to say for yourself?

- Why, Father.
- Don't you worry fathering me.

I call it a shabby trick.

There are some things that even a devoted
son cannot accept from his father.

Such an accusation is too much.
I'm leaving.

- Grandfather!
- What?

Criticising me, miss?

Is this the way you bring up
your daughter, madam?

- Tell her to sit down!
- Sit down, Marjorie.

I thought you were going.
What are you waiting for?

I did it, Father, I started the clocks.

You did nothing of the kind. You're
merely trying to shield Henry.

- He has practically confessed.
- I have not confessed, Cabot!

Why should I confess for
something that I...

Your silence was a confession, sir!

I shan't eat another morsel.

Now I shall ask you all
to be good enough...

to leave me alone.

I have something very unpleasant
to say to Claude.

Come along, Marjorie.

I'm coming, Mother.

Well, why don't you go?

I want to hear first what you have
to say to Claude.

Very well, you shall.

So, you would stand by and let women
take the blame for your crime.

- What do you mean?
- You know you started those clocks!

- You're discharged!
- Really, Mr. Barr, sir, I...

Stop crying into the beans.

Too much salt in them already.
Tell that to the cook.

Then pack up your things and go.

You can't do that, Grandfather.

Mother wanted to take the blame
because she thought I did it.

And she was right, I did.
I started the clocks.

And I helped her.

I wondered how long it would be
before you confessed.

- I tried.
- Only very feebly.

All right, Claude, I forgive you.

Thank you, sir.

A very disgraceful thing to do.

A very disrespectful thing.

- Hooligans, both of you!
- It's my fault. I...

Nothing like this has ever happened
in this house before.

You, miss, are a Barr. I can't understand
your doing such a thing.

You are not a Barr, but I entertained
a certain regard for you.

Now, sir, that regard has vanished.

Leave me alone.

She owned up!
She's a Barr!

Every inch of her.

Grandfather.

Then you're not angry because
I started the clocks?

Angry?
Why, it was magnificent.

Come here.

Sit down.

Well, why did you do it?

Well, Allan said I was trying
to get around you.

- Well?
- Because of your money, you know.

So I did the worst thing I could
think of to make you mad.

Why weren't you born a boy?

- I've always liked being a girl.
- Oh.

- But now I wish I weren't.
- Why?

Because you wish I were.

Well, I'm liable to think you are
trying to get around me.

You won't think anything of the sort.

No, I won't.

If only you'd been born a...
oh, well...

It's too late now.

You're a female

And when you marry you'll be
your husband's possession.

Even to the extent of sacrificing
your name.

Well, I won't marry then.

If it'll make you happier,
I'll stay single.

I won't mind being an old maid.

Then I can keep on being a Barr.

Well, but if you died there'd be
nobody to carry on the name.

Unfortunately old maids don't have sons.

At least not in Massachusetts.

Suppose I married a really nice man.

Someone you liked. And you persuaded him
to change his name to Barr.

By Jupiter!

That's the solution.

Out of the mouths of babes
and sucklings?

Would that make you happy?

It's an inspiration!
Have you got a man like that?

- No, of course I haven't.
- Well, I have!

I've got the very man, Allan!

Allan Blaine?

Allan Barr he is to be.

Give me long distance. Boston.
Beacon 27400

Me marry him?

It's all settled. We'll handle him now.

Grandfather, I couldn't do it.

Now, don't argue, you'll do as I say.

Grandfather,

we've just become friends after
sixteen years, don't spoil everything.

What's the matter with you? It's your own
suggestion now you're objecting to it.

I never suggested marrying
Allan Blaine.

- Oh, didn't you, well I did.
- Well you marry him then.

Why, I wouldn't marry him if we were
marooned together on a desert island.

Temper!

She's a Barr, every inch of her.

Marooned together on a desert island.

Claude!

Yes, sir.

I want you to open the summer
camp immediately.

But you said this morning, sir,
that you didn't.

I know.

But I've changed my mind.

I feel the desire for a
romantic atmosphere.

Birds... bees...

Flowers, trees...

- Go away!
- Yes, sir.

I'm bored, aren't you?

I am now.

Oh, meaning since I appeared
on the scene.

Meaning just that.

Well, don't think that I'm trying
to make friends with you, I'm not.

I'm very glad to hear it.

It's just that you represent something a
little less boresome than stuffed peacocks.

And a lot of stuffy people.

Not much less, however.

Well, I like the people and I adore
the peacocks and I dislike you.

And if I can't read while you're
around, I'll go elsewhere.

If I were a man, I'd...

If you were a man you wouldn't have to try
so hard to get your grandfather's money.

You'd get it anyway.

- It hasn't worked.
- What hasn't worked?

The birds, the bees, the flowers.

What are you talking about, Cabot?

- I'll give them artificial respiration.
- You'll give them what?

Artificial respiration, to bring
them to life.

You know what they do?
Fish them out of the water.

Watch them waltzing around,
rolling on barrels,

Bring those brats to me.

Allan!

Marjorie!

- You want me, sir?
- I do!

Here she is, Father.

Oh, there she is.

Now, what's been going on
between you two?

- Well, he...
- Don't tell me! I know.

And it's got to stop.

I tell you both.
I forbid this lovemaking.

I forbid this mooning about.

I have other plans for my
granddaughter, son.

I'm ashamed of you, miss.

- You're opportunists, that's what you are.
- Opportunists?

- That's what I said.
- What do you mean, Grandfather?

I mean that this country hereabouts has,
I'll admit, a romantic atmosphere.

Nature made it that way.

But that doesn't mean that you
are to regard it...

as a stimulus for forbidden lovemaking.

- But Grandfather...
- And the trees and the flowers hereabouts..

you are to regard merely
as trees and flowers.

Nature's adornments, not as a background
for your puppy love.

- We were only...
- Grandfather!

And the birds! The birds have
other things to do...

besides seeing you into a state
of silly sentimentality.

They have their nests to take care of,
their eggs to hatch!

Their young to feed.

They're not placed there merely
for your romantic benefits.

- And as for the, the, the... what?
- The bees.

Yes, the bees!

And I've heard the function of the bees
misinterpreted by you.

Their purpose is to make honey.

Their buzzing is incidental
to that task...

and not an obligatto to your callow
and mock expression.

Do you understand me?

There will be no lovemaking between your
granddaughter and myself, I promise you.

It pleases me, sir, that you can
be swayed by reason.

And you, miss, am I to continue
to be ashamed of you,

or will you too give me your promise?

But, Grandfather, I told you that I
didn't like him, that I hated him.

And now you accuse me of...

Leave her alone, Helen.

That's all, young man.

Well, you are unpleasant,
if I must say.

You made us all feel very
uncomfortable.

I don't know how you feel.

I feel like a rubber of bridge.

- Claude...
- Cabot, you're mad!

Oh, get away, get away.

Henry, I wish you wouldn't leave
fingerprints on the cards.

Claude can probably advise you
how to avoid that.

I wouldn't let him make me cry
if I were you.

I wasn't crying.
I've got a bad cold.

Is that why you're lying on the damp
ground with your face on the wet grass?

Probably and old Barr custom
for curing colds.

What a temper for an old man.

He's as nutty as a peanut bar.

It's all my fault.

Beastly clocks.
I got you into this.

No, you didn't.
It isn't the clocks.

It's something else.
I don't know what.

I suppose I haven't any sense.

Sense? You're the only one in the
whole family that's got any sense.

- That's my tray.
- That's a surprise.

Sheer luck.

When the foolish observe
the conquest of the wise...

they call it luck.

That's from a Chinese.

If it isn't from the Chinese,
it turns out it might be.

What did you mean when you said you'd
hoped that she'd do something desperate?

Here they are.

Oh, Marjorie, dear.
Allan, I've been so worried.

According to Culbertson, a dummy
should be seen and not heard.

I don't know what suit to discard.

Oh, come, come, Helen.
The wrong one, my dear.

All right, made them.

We're homicidal now, Henry.
Extraordinary luck.

There ought to be some punishment
for forced profits at bridge.

Now what's the score?

Grandfather.
Grandfather.

Allan and I have something
important to tell you.

We're going to get married and
you're not going to stop us.

Shhh!

It worked!
Henry!

Ring up long distance. Boston.
Beacon 27400.

I'm going to change my will.

You mean you're not angry, Grandfather?

Well, of all things!

Long distance?
I want Boston, please.

Beacon 27400.

Claude.

You know the wall safe in my bedroom.

There's a legal-looking document there.

Looks very much like your
old pardon, but it isn't.

Bring it here to me.

Hello... hello!
Oh, Mr. Johnson. Yes, please...

Hello, Mr. Johnson?

Well, I'm ready to change my will.

Yes, I'm here at the summer camp.

But I don't think I need to trouble you
to come down after all.

Here's what I want to tell you.

My present will is made out in favor
of my son Judd.

Draw up a new one.

I'm going to leave the bulk of my property
to my granddaughter Marjorie Barr...

and her husband Allan Barr.

Blaine, sir.

Yes, I said Allan Barr, never mind
who Allan Barr is.

Blaine, sir, my name is Blaine.

Yes, yes, Johnson, there is an Allan Barr,
at least there will be one very shortly.

- Who does he mean?
- You.

Yes, and receive a full benefit
of the estate...

And at their death be parted
to their first son,

who will be named Cabot Barr.

One moment, sir.

No, Judd has merely the same proportion
as the other members of my family.

- Just a moment, sir.
- Hold on, Justin. What is it, what is it?

You must have meant me when you
spoke of Marjorie's husband.

- But you called me Allan Barr.
- That's what you're going to be.

- Oh no, sir.
- Didn't you tell him?

I forgot.

You're going to change your
name to Barr.

Oh no, I'm not. Not I.

Not you?
What's wrong with the name of Barr?

Nothing's wrong with it.
It just doesn't happen to be my name.

Oh, I suppose you think your
name's important, sir.

- Just as important as Barr.
- Oh, Grandfather.

Must he change his name?
I mean, if he doesn't want to.

Isn't that silly?

What was that word you used, miss?

I mean, isn't it enough that I love him
and he loves me?

You're a renegade!

You made an agreement with me
and now you back out of it.

This young upstart, a perfect stranger,
means more to you than my wishes.

Than money, family, blood.

- Is that your final decision, sir?
- Yes, sir.

Very well.
Hello, Johnson!

Did you take down everything
I told you?

Well you can cut it out.

You're losing a great deal by this, sir.

I know that.
I'm losing your money.

And you'll lose Marjorie too,
if I have anything to say about it.

Only her mother has the right
to say that.

And what does her mother say?

I never harass my daughter.
She must do as she sees fit.

Oh, so you're against me too.

And of course you're on the
side of your puppy.

Well, I can't help admiring
Allan's flair.

Nuisance, that's what it is!

I wish you wouldn't excite
yourself, Cabot.

I'll excite myself as much as I please.

And now let me tell you all something.

In this will my money goes to Judd...

with the exception of large gifts
for all of you.

There you are!

I'm going to change my will and
every penny I have goes to Judd...

and you can all go to the devil.

What are you doing here?
Broke again, I suppose.

No. I want to know why you've come
up here and told me nothing about it.

You don't invite me so I came up.

Sounds like a very reasonable
statement.

I don't invite you so you came up.

Well, I'll let that pass.

For once you've come at the right moment.

I have an important announcement
to make to you.

I know, you've changed your will.

- I have.
- Well, you see?

Well, I'm not going to stand for it.

I'm your only son and therefore
your only heir.

Go on, you have something more
to say, haven't you?

Well, I have.

This is Professor Schumaker.
I brought him up here to examine you.

Examine me?
What is he, a policeman?

Professor Schumaker is an alienist.

And if you refuse to submit to
his examination,

Well, that's all right, we'll...

- Judd, you ungrateful...
- How can you do such a thing?

You wish Professor Schumaker
to examine me...

to determine whether or not
I am sane, eh?

- Yes.
- Very well.

Where would you like to begin?

Wait, you can't, Father.

What's the matter with you all?
Afraid I am a lunatic?

Please sit down, Professor.

Sit down, Judd.

Well, begin, Professor.

You understand, sir, this will be
a completely fair test.

I don't intend saving your son's opinions.
I shall draw my own conclusions.

Very sporting of you.

Well, Mr. Barr, we'll do routine
questions first.

- How do you sleep nights?
- On my stomach, sir, since I was a baby.

I mean, Mr. Barr, do you sleep
well or badly?

Well, very well.

Except when I sleep badly,
then I sleep very badly.

- Do you ever hear voices?
- Almost constantly.

You do?

Surrounded as I am by an
exceedingly garrulous family,

and having excellent hearing,

it would be extraordinary, Professor,
if I didn't hear voices.

I can perfectly understand that, sir.

Have you ever suffered from
epilepsy Mr. Barr?

Not mele.

But there have been epileptics
in your family.

Well, my son Judd used to throw
terrific fits when he was a child.

- Now look here!
- I remember once...

his nurse dropped him on his head
when he was a year old.

Purposefully, I think.

Well, when we thought it was
an accident we discharged the girl.

You... you're trying to make
a fool of me, Father.

I am, Judd, and succeeding, I think.

Carry on, Professor.

Are you troubled with nightmares?

If you'll pardon me, Professor,
there was no need to ask that question.

You've met my son.

Now let me ask you some questions.

Is it not true...

that mentally unbalanced persons...

invariably accuse others of being insane?

As a rule they do.

And that they labor under the
delusion of persecution?

That is so.

Well, sir, note.

That my son Judd had fits,

that he accuses me of being insane,

that he's under the delusion that
I'm not leaving him my money,

when, as a matter of fact,
here is my will,

made out in his favor.

Professor Shumaker, I expect
to call you very shortly...

to consult with you about having
my son placed in an asylum.

- Good day, sir.
- A good day to you.

And thank you for a very
entertaining afternoon.

I regret, Mr. Barr, that you were
subjected to this.

Father,

I consider that I was perfectly justified
in bringing Professor Shumaker here...

but now I'll not proceed any
further with the matter.

Go home, Judd, and don't come
to see me again.

Not while I'm still alive.

- What's the matter, Cabot?
- What is it, Cabot?

I don't know.

For about the first time
in my life I feel old.

Oh, Father.

I don't quite know how old I am.

Henry knows.
But I'm nearly eighty.

And I suppose this blow is rather
more than I can endure.

I knew Judd was a waster.

Incompetent, lacking in principle,

but I never thought he was a scoundrel.

He had the Barr blood.

He is my only son.

And he's a thieving scoundrel.

Cabot.

Thanks, Henry.

I'm getting old.

Remember, white satin, Augusta.

- Henry.
- Yes, Cabot.

Place two chairs there...

for Marjorie and Allan.

- Augusta.
- Yes, Cabot?

Sit there.

What is all this, Cabot?

And Helen beside her.

Yes, Father.

That's all right, Augusta.

Henry.

Stand at the back there.

And Claude on my right.

Now, listen all of you.

You know how I feel about dying.

You know I regard it as a rather
unpleasant adventure.

I have said it's a very solemn occasion.

And so it is.

But at Lovesy's memorial service...

we all had a hilarious time.

We tried not to show it, but we
were having the time of our lives.

And I determined then...

that that's the sort of memorial
service I shall like to have.

when... when I'm gone.

Grandfather!

Well, you can help me to
the door again.

I'm tired and I'm going to lie down.

Henry.

Come to my room presently.

I have some instructions for you.

And bring Claude.

Augusta.

All your life you've been wanting
me to see a doctor.

Well, you can send for one now.

Bless and rest his soul.

Claude.

Claude!

Coming, sir.

- Are all the clocks stopped, Claude?
- Yes, sir.

I was just up in his bedroom, sir.

There was all his clothes hanging
in the cupboard looking so...

so empty-like without him wearing it.

Poor old Mr. Barr.

What you really mean is poor
what he left behind.

Cabot had an almost ideally
happy death.

Slept out of one life into another.

Wish it for all of us, Claude.

- Is there anything I can do, sir.
- Just check this.

Now, this is where Helen is
to sit, isn't it?

Yes, sir, here.
Mrs. Pritchard here.

Mr. Judd and his wife in the center.

And the young folks here.

Just as he had it arranged
in the mirror.

- You remember, sir.
- Yes, I remember.

And none of them have
any idea, you think.

Oh no, sir, I'm quite sure not.

- You know what you have to do?
- Yes, sir. And you too, sir.

Fancy his insisting on all
those rehearsals.

- Weak as he was.
- Six of them.

And the final one the night
before he died.

And how he did enjoy it.

- There was a man, Claude.
- Yes indeed, sir.

You would have your joke,
wouldn't you, Cabot?

Even after death.

Who are you talking to, Henry?

I.. I was talking to Claude.

Well, it sounded as if you were
addressing Cabot.

Nonsense.

I don't like all this hocus-pocus,
there's something spooky about it.

Let go of that chair.
That's not your seat anyway.

What do you mean it isn't my seat?

Why are we all supposed to sit
in certain places?

- What are you up to, Henry Loring?
- Me, nothing.

Cabot's orders.

I don't like the way you say that. Sounds
exactly as though he was still here.

If I hadn't seen him dead and buried...

Well, he got his white satin.

And looked very peaceful, Augusta.

Peaceful and mischievous.

There was a look on his face.

I've always felt that Cabot stood
between death and me.

Now I'm alone.

Henry, I'm frightened.

There's nothing to be frightened about.

I'm a fool, Henry.

Don't cry, Augusta.

Cabot would rather have us
laugh than cry.

He was that way, you know.

Where have you two children been?

We ran over to the...
We took some flowers.

I wanted to say hello too.

Marjorie.

I know it isn't mourning, Mother.

But Grandfather liked this dress.
I'm sure he'd rather I wore it.

I'm sure he would.

Helen. You are to sit here.

And Marjorie and Allan here.

Augusta, you're sitting in
the wrong chair.

I'm very comfortable here.

If you don't move to that one
there will be no will.

Oh, Henry, don't be ridiculous.

Henry, you're very cruel!

Do I have to stay for the reading?

I think you'd better, dear.

What's the matter, Cabot expected you to.

I'd rather not.
Oh, it's so beastly.

What's beastly, child?

Money, Grandfather's money.

I can't bear the thought about waiting
to find out what money he left us.

What does it matter?

I understand, dear.

Good afternoon.

Hello.

Well, it's 2 o'clock, where's the lawyer?
Who's going to read the will?

It will be read, Judd, it will be read!

You will be good enough not to speak
to me in that bossy way, Loring.

Remember, I'm the son and heir.

- Well, you're sitting in the wrong chair.
- What's the matter with it?

My chair.

You sit here.
And, Retta, sit here, please.

And don't move your chairs
a fraction of an inch.

Cabot's orders.

Now sit down, all of you,
in your proper chairs.

Why are those curtains drawn?

You'll see presently, Judd.
Cabot's orders.

The whole thing is getting more
and more confusing.

- Oh, pardon me.
- For what?

For speaking to you. I hadn't meant to.
I dislike you intensely.

- Humph!
- You too, Retta.

- Thank you.
- Don't mention it.

Well, I guess we can begin.
All right, Claude.

Yes, sir.

Why are you darkening the room?
What is this?

Oh, my goodness. They're not going
to have a s?ance.

Cabot's orders, Augusta.

It's very mysterious to confound
folks at this time of the day.

Look here, Loring, I came
to hear the will read...

not to waste my time with
all this mumbo jumbo.

Sit down, Judd.
And keep quiet, all of you.

- What is that thing, Henry?
- I don't like this, Judd, I'm leaving.

Sit down, Retta!
Cabot's orders.

Good evening, everybody.

Oh, my goodness!
No, Henry, no, I can't bear it!

Control yourself, Augusta.
Nothing to be nervous about.

How are you, Judd?

Is... is this the will?

Uh, this is my last will and testament.

Did that go off as rehearsed, Henry?
Did I get the reaction right?

- Perfectly, Cabot.
- Good. Oh, by the way,

I hope none of you object
to this being a little informal.

But it's so much cozier,
don't you think?

- Comfortable, everybody?
- Yes, Father.

Oh, Henry. Augusta's doctor
took away my cigars.

Oh, I'm sorry if I'm wasting
your time, Judd.

I know you're a busy man.

That didn't go off quite entirely
according to schedule.

Well, here we are.

Barrs all of us.

With one stubborn exception.

Oh, Claude, about those clocks.

They're stopped, sir.

- Sure?
- Quite sure, sir.

You're positive Augusta hasn't started
them all again as she did the last time?

I didn't last time, you know I didn't.

Oh, my goodness, I'm talking to that
screen as though Cabot was still here.

- I think she protests, Henry?
- She did, Cabot.

Ah, good!

A little indignation stirs up
the liver, my dear.

You're a rogue, Cabot.
I mean, you were a rogue.

He was a rogue, wasn't he?

And now, to the unpleasant duty
of distributing my belongings.

Incidentally, there's one great
advantage in being dead.

You can't any of you talk back at me.

Oh, dear.

Now... Augusta!
Where's your handkerchief?

Oh...

I'm afraid I've lost it, Cabot.

Oh, I thought so.

Well, I'm leaving you the family jewels.

And to provide for your future
weepy period,

ten dozen very fine lace handkerchiefs.

You'll find them handsome and
at the same time practical.

Both show and blow.

- How did that joke go over, Henry?
- Like a ball of fire.

Good, I thought they might have
heard it before.

It's a very old one.

- Are you enjoying this, Judd?
- I don't think this is funny.

Maybe it's because I haven't the
sense of humor.

No, Judd, I didn't think you
would enjoy it.

- How are you, Helen?
- Splendid, Father.

You're not having hysterics at
seeing me again, are you?

No, I'm delighted.

Helen...

Have you forgiven me for my
pigheadedness all those years?

Yes, Father.

I hope she said yes, Henry.

Helen, I'm leaving you the house
and the furniture.

- Thank you, Father.
- I'm your servant, my dear.

Henry, to you...

I leave my cellar,

including all my 1812 brandy.

You probably expected that.

That's why you tried to prevent
me drinking.

Yes, that's why I did it, Cabot,
thank you very much.

Claude, to you I leave my clothes,

a small annuity and $5,000 in cash.

Thank you very much, sir.

Not at all, Claude.

You've been more than a good servant,
you've been a good friend.

Twenty years ago you promised never
to betray the trust I placed in you...

and you kept your word.

And now we come to the root
of all legal.

In other words, the bulk of my estate.

Judd, you hurt me very much.

In many ways.

But what hurt me most, my son,

was that little black book of yours.

How did you know about that?

- You must have said something.
- I did nothing of the kind.

Then how could he possibly
have known?

If he's finished protesting, Henry,
continue writing.

Yes, I knew about it all along.

That list of my eccentricities
which you wrote down.

All right, Father, I admit.
But you...

Oh, why do keep addressing that picture
as though he were alive?

I never knew why you did that...

until the day you brought
that alienist...

in an effort to prove me
of unsound mind.

Well, he was.

Then I knew why you kept that
disgraceful and unfilial record...

and I was ashamed of you.

For that reason, I'm going to cut you
off with the proverbial shilling,

which at the present rate of exchange...

it's somewhere in the neighborhood
of twenty cents.

So this is a dirty trick.

I might have known he had something
up his sleeve, the old devil.

But I'm not through yet.
This isn't legal!

I have the real will right here.

Stop acting violently, Judd.

I know this is not a legal form for a will.

But my lawyer has everything legally
drawn, and signed, and sealed.

And that will that you have in
your inside pocket is valueless.

I've had enough of this!
I'm going.

Before you go, Judd...
I hope he's going off all right, Henry.

Before you go, I want you
to hear this.

I'm relenting.
I'm leaving you more than a shilling.

I'm leaving you the clocks
and the peacocks.

And now, if everything has gone
out according to planned,

Judd and Retta have left,

and I am alone with those who love me.

- Allan.
- Yes, sir?

You're sorry you didn't comply with my
request and become a Barr when I was alive.

- How did you know that?
- Marjorie has already forgiven you.

He knew I'd do that.

To you, my children,

who will shortly become
Mr. and Mrs. Allan Barr,

Yes, sir.

- He didn't object to that, did he, Henry?
- No, Cabot, he seems pleased.

Hm, good.

And then, to you, Mr. and Mrs. Allan Barr,

I leave my name, my possessions,
and my special love.

It's your love I wanted, Grandfather.

Thank you.

And now, my dears,

and by that I mean all of you,

Helen, Augusta,

Allan, Marjorie,

you, Henry, and you too, Claude,

to all of you, my final goodbye.

I'm going to taste that other
bottle of wine.

That finer vintage which waits
for me beyond.

It's been a pleasure and a privilege
being alive with you.

It will be my hope to meet you all again
in due time.

God bless you.

Subtitles: Lu?s Filipe Bernardes