The Landlord (1970) - full transcript
At the age of twenty-nine, Elgar Enders "runs away" from home. This running away consists of buying a building in a black ghetto in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn. Initially his intention is to evict the black tenants and convert it into a posh flat. But Elgar is not one to be bound by yesterday's urges, and soon he has other thoughts on his mind. He's grown fond of the black tenants and particularly of Fanny, the wife of a black radical; he's maybe fallen in love with Lanie, a mixed race girl; he's lost interest in redecorating his home. Joyce, his mother has not relinquished this interest and in one of the film's most hilarious sequences gives her Master Charge card to Marge, a black tenant and appoints her decorator.
1,2,3.
Now, children,
how do we live?
Elgar?
Thank you, Heywood.
Ahh.
It's just that
1 get the feeling
that we're all...
I mean, everybody...
Black, white, yellow,
democrat, communist,
Republicans,
old people, young people,
whatever...
Only the finest thing
in my shop, girl.
Which one of y'all
is next?
1 may close this place
with this child here.
We're all like
abunch of ants... see?
See, the strongest drive
we have as a true life-force
is to gain territory.
Gash,
you're gorgeous.
Where do you live,
baby?
Ahem.
J It's a brand new day [
I brand new way I}
I've never done anything...
1 mean, anything
quite like this before.
I've always wanted
to do it
because everybody
wants his own home,
and I've never
had a place of my own.
7 Last night I had a dream
that the world ;
7 was changing
by leaps and bounds
7 it started up
in the bigger cities &
7 then it spread
to the smaller towns &
I the people began
to smile at people &
I They'd never even seen &
J and when Jeremiah
woke me up J
J T was ready to live
that dream ;
J it's a brand new day &
So like
hart crane the poet,
who's also a cancerian..
See, I'm a cancerian.
And home
is very important,
but we never seem
to make it.
Se, uh...
Meney's never been
the problem.
T Bow our heads together &
I and see where
we go from there &
1 we've got to fight
for what we believe in
J fight until the end &
J it's a brand new day &
J it's a brand new way &
7 brand new way !
J brand new day »
7 brand new way !
So, shit,
1 bought this house.
Actually,
it's a tenement house.
It's in this ghetto area.
J Twenty million shadows
storming at the gates &
J how can you
be surprised?
I With the image
of our fallen king &
7 reflected in our eyes J
I And though twenty million tongues
are shouting now/
2 it's only heard by a precious few
J but the years of night
will pass forever
7 when the sun
comes shinin' through
J on a brand new day »
J it's a brand new way &
ok, its
3rend new day !
I just want to get all
the Goddamn tenants out
and rip it out.
It's an old house.
Lots of molding.
J It's a brand new way 7
J a brand new day &
Juh-huh }
J brand new day »
I yeah,
a brand new day &
I yeah,
Twonder if you know {
I what I'm talkin' about &
7 you better check
yourself 7
7 get it together now... I¢
I want to rip out
all the floors
all the way
up to the skylight, see,
and then recess the floors
50 you have balconies,
and then hang
this big Goddamn modern,
spectacular, psychedelic,
son-of-2-bitchin' fight
from the ceiling.
Is that beautiful?
Bon ton heights
will start a trend in
urban renewal, Mr. Enders.
Restored landmarks will be
the latest scream, I'm sure.
I hope your seeing Mr. Farcus'
place going so well
will inspire you to feel
rosy about your new place.
My, my. Shopping
without stopping.
Oh, Mr. Farcus.
Enid.
Street music.
Isn't it marvelous?
This is Mr, Enders.
He's your new neighbor.
Uh, I'm Elgar Enders.
I'm your new neighbor.
He just bought a house
in the next block,
Your house
is just great.
It's just fantastic.
This neighborhood's
going to be very chic.
Let's hope this influx
of the beautiful people
is the beginning
of an inclination, huh?
What the hell is that?
What is that?
Eviction powder.
Eviction powder?
What's eviction powder?
Oh, it's nothing,
Mr. Enders.
Just a little voodoo.
Ha ha ha!
Only $25, man!
You're lying!
You're lying,
man!
I woke up
one morning, man,
I thought I was
in the wrong house.
Ha ha ha!
He was causing trouble
the night before.
Here comes
the white tornado.
Hey, man!
What's goin' on?
You got two little
pedals down there.
One's a brake.
That thing you got
your hand on,
that's
a gear shift lever.
Oh! No good.
No good, my man.
Turn off the car, man.
Get out the car.
Uh-oh!
We're gonna have
to watch out for this.
What is this
we have here?
Oh...
Come closer.
Heh heh heh!
I'm Elgar Enders,
the new landlord.
You the new
landlord?
He the new landlord, man.
The new landlord, man.
You don't
shake my hand?
I just want to...
I'll put your flower
in the house.
Tl take your flower
in the house for you.
I'm gonna take your flower
in the house for you.
Put it down
right there.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh!
Look at this tie!
Whoo!
D'Artagnan's
gonna strike again!
Aah!
Did you see that cat
move cut, man?
Hey, kids,
here's your big chance.
To pick up
that specially priced
10... that's right...
10-record set.
Of 200 current
underground hits,
as played by the exciting,
dynamic Clyde Davis band.
That's right.
200 hits for just $1.75,
incredible as it sounds,
while this offer lasts.
Just send check
or money order.
To "Davis hits, box 5152,
battle creek, Michigan."
Groovy!
Who are you?
Walter Gee Copee.
My name's Walter Gee.
You the new landlord?
Yeah,
Give me $2.00.
What?
I said you oughta
give me $2.00.
What the hell for?
If you let me
hold $2.00,
Tl let you
take me home.
If not,
I'll call the pigs.
You will, huh?
Gimme, sport!
Help!
All right!
Shut up now!
Cigarette, pops?
Does your mother know
you smoke?
No.
Home, landlord.
Bye, landlord!
Hold it right there,
honky!
Who's that?
Now turn around
and march your buns out
before 1 shoot 'em out
from under you.
Why are you
pointing that at me?
'Cause my horoscope told me
that evil was coming today,
and, Marge,
here it is.
Get movin' or else you'll
have no hips to lean on.
1 own this house.
I'm the new landlord.
And I'm & wren tit.
Move it!
If you're a landlord,
how come you ain't got
no door keys?
I have door keys.
You know, you look like
a rapist to me.
You got funny eyes.
That's ridiculous.
If you're figuring on
carrying out
a sexual attack on me,
you better learn
the karate boogaloo
'cause we gonna tangle ass
right here in this hall.
Tam the new landlord,
and you're
disregarding your lease
by practicing whatever you're
practicing here with these readings.
I'll have you
thrown out.
If you want to shoot,
go ahead and shoot.
That'll be running
an illegal business,
nonpayment of rent,
and manslaughter.
Little thing like you,
2 landlord?
Yeah. Let's see how much
back rent you owe, all right?
Is that you
right there?
Huh?
Two months back rent
You owe me.
All here
in this book.
You look like
you could use some food.
Come on, landlord.
Let's eat.
Old Duboise upstairs,
always up in my face,
talking about being
some college president.
College president?
Wouldn't sweep the hall
if his life depended on it.
College president.
Sure. Some college
across town,
I never heard
of no college
selling degrees
for $50.
Then there's the
unearthly Cumbersons.
Unearthly?
Yeah,
They've been here
about 25 years.
Ain't nobody seen them
but twice.
How's that
for being ominous?
Uh, that's, uh...
That's impossible.
It would be
if they were alive.
Alive?
Oh, they is.
I hear 'em rollin'
around downstairs.
Listen, you should've
been here this morning
for the tenants
association rent strike.
What rent strike?
Don't worry.
It won't happen.
Wait. Are you sure?
How they gonna get
2 rent strike?
Ain't nobody paid rent
long as I can remember.
Of course, um.
There could be
2 back rent strike.
But you wouldn't
get that, either.
That would go
to Mr. Lipschultz.
That's the old landlord,
Nobody ever paid him
any rent?
Poor soul.
Lord knows
who'll get it
now that he's
passed away.
He passed away?
Rat.
Big as a dog.
Chased him
in the broom closet.
Nobody ever go in
the broom closet.
I think he was in there
about three months.
How do you Ofays
find your way into
owning these rat traps?
What do you do,
give them as
bar mitzvah presents?
Gotta have more
gun control.
You want
some more eggs?
Marge, would you mind
putting that gun away?
Don't worry.
You came my way
so I could protect you,
though I know you'll only
repay me with suffering.
Don't say that.
Hey, Marge!
Marge, have you
seen some white man
prowling around here...
You.
It was you.
It was me?
Don't deny it,
degenerate.
You gave my little
Walter gee money.
Now he's sick
on cigarettes.
I found him sick down in
the cellar chain-smoking,
so I know some child
molester gave him money.
Why do you
let him smoke?
You must know
he could get cancer.
I'm busy frying hair
all day.
I can't watch
everything he does.
What? You're frying hair
in this building?
I don't have a license
for frying hair.
He ain't got no license
for frying hair.
Find your own neighborhood
and do hair... queenie.
I'm not
a hairdresser.
You better believe it.
Fanny.
He's the new landlord.
That's right.
The new landlord.
The new landlord.
Oh, lord, ain't
this a shame?
Matter of fact,
I'm glad we met.
Your name is, uh..
Mrs. Copee.
Right.
My husband's been ill.
Mrs. Copee...
He has this
nervous condition,
He has headaches, too.
The doctor said he
should have his own room.
Four months' back rent.
Is that possible?
Oh, anything's
possible, sugar.
Anyway, we took him
to the wills eye hospital
because he's got
this twitch,
but it wasn't his eyes.
What was it?
It was his nerves.
That's, uh...
That's understandable,
Mrs. Copee.
It is?
Look, why don't we
go down to my place
50 we can discuss this
at length?
If you wish.
Promise me you won't
smoke anymore.
I promise.
What's that?
Uh, bye.
I think, uh...
Walter gee!
Walter gee, you come back here.
Hey, Duboise,
what's happening?
Hello, Fanny.
Copee in trouble
with the pigs again?
This ain't no pig
this time, sugar.
This is the new
landlord.
Landlord...
Professor Duboise.
Professor Duboise,
how do you do?
1 swear, he thinks
the lord put white
people con this earth
as a punishment.
Of course,
I don't hold
with no sacrilegious
talk like that.
Mm-hmm.
Why don't you put some
air conditioning in here?
Oh, uh...
You have some complaints, Mrs.
Copee?
You're serious?
Uh... yeah.
I sure do.
Sit.
I'll just, uh...
Ahem.
Now...
Uh... what
specific complaints
do you have, Mrs. Copee?
Well, we need a new
plastering job,
a new paint job.
The oven door's broke.
The roof leaks,
the toilet
runs all day,
and you awful cute
to be a landlord.
You said the, uh...
The roof, uh... runs,
and the toilet...
Toilet leaks.
Mmm.
If you didn't
sweat so much,
nobody'd take you
for a landlord.
You could pass
for a human being.
That's not a very nice
thing to say, Mrs. Copee,
because I intend to be
a good landlord
as long as you're here.
What you mean,
as long as I'm here?
Who's that
you got there with you?
Oh, it's
the new landlord.
That's my husband.
Ah.
Now, uh...
About the rent,
Mrs. Copee,
are you...
Landlord...
These arrows
have been dipped
in Fanny's
barbecue sauce
50 as to make
death slow...
And more agonizing
to its unfortunate victim.
Landlord,
you have until
the count of three
to vacate
these premises.
1...
2...
3!
You son of a bitch.
You make one more crack
about my spareribs,
and I'll bust your head.
Oh, you shut up.
I thought I told you
about putting your drum
in the living room.
Oh, mother...
I'm sorry.
It's my only chance.
1 got Italian class
after this.
Then your father...
Oh, God.
Keep talking.
1 hear you.
From the top.
1.2..
About my house, mother.
What house, dear?
I'm in love
with this house.
1,2..
3,4,56.
Don't do that, dear.
You're throwing me off.
I'm just trying
to help you.
I've invested
in real estate.
You have invested
in real estate?
Oscar.
Oscar.
Yes. Yes.
Yes, Joyce.
Oscar.
Darling, listen,
will you forgive me?
Oscar, 1 promise you,
we'll dance our brains out
tomorrow at 10:00.
Without interruption.
Practice pushing.
Pushing.
I will, ciao.
Ciao, darling.
Uh-huh.
Insufferable
dance Goddess.
He thinks the sun rises
and sets on rhythm.
"Rhythm, rhythm.”
All right, dear.
Quickly.
What are you
talking about?
What investment?
Pour me some of that.
What is that, Brandy?
Oh,
God.
What's the matter?
You looked like your
father when he was little.
Aw, Joyce,
for Christ's sake.
You're drunk
and upset.
Why?
This house, this real estate,
is very important to me.
It's the most important
thing I've ever done.
I'm a cancerian...
Home's very important.
You're a Leo.
No, I'm a cancer.
When were you born?
The 15th of July.
Son of a bitch.
When was [ born?
Mother!
Foul-mouth.
Little foul-mouth.
Mother, don't do that.
You have 15 minutes.
Then it's
my Italian class,
which I'm not
giving up
to argue with you
about dates.
You see that,
my darling pussycat?
What you did is bad.
There's an iron curtain
in this house, mother.
Will you tell me what
you're talking about?
I'm talking about doing
what [ want to do.
Do it... out there
in the guest house.
I can't do it
out in the guest house.
The way you look at me
when I bare my guts,
you think
I'm off my rocker.
1 don't think
any such modem thing.
Why don't you
take up the banjo,
write folk songs...
Something you can do
in your room?
Get a bath.
Get yourself
together.
And wash everywhere.
Oh, your sister's invited
Peter Cootes for dinner.
Your brother and his wife...
What's her name?
They're coming in
from Westport.
Peter who?
Peter Cootes.
You know Peter Cootes.
Oh.
The Peter Cootes.
Of course.
Don't get smart.
Get dressed, huh?
And comb your hair.
Al right?
Yeah,
Bird!
I just want
to say, Elgar,
that I'm proud of you.
I'm glad you're my brother
and not somebody else's.
Well, it's a great house.
I think somebody's
got to begin
to integrate.
I can't. I don't have
the stomach for it.
But to think...
That 1 have a really
forward-looking,
devil-may-care
revolutionary for my brother
makes me feel right
in the swing of things.
1 just hope
you don't get shot.
Susan, God.
Have your people
planned any rallies
or marches or
anything like that?
Bird!
Elgar, would you do me
a fantastic favor?
Whatever you do,
don't talk about spades
to poor Peter.
What do you mean?
With the napalm
and all that,
he's very sensitive
about the new left.
And, Elgar...
What?
I love him,
Bird!
Elgar!
My God, what are you two
burning up here?
What is that?
Uh... my socks
caught on fire.
Your socks
caught on fire.
Well, put them out
and get downstairs,
the both of you.
Peter's getting bored.
Taste good?
God, I'd love a
little den somewhere.
Susan, dear,
you cannot go on
falling down the
stairs like this.
Tell me a proper way
to fall down the stairs,
I'll try to do it.
Susu, you really must
get a checkup.
This could be a case
of lack of coordination.
Maybe it's cerebral palsy.
Could be you're
smoking too much.
Young man,
I'll not have you
talking against the tobacco
industry in this house.
Have you bought into
tobacco, Mr. Enders?
Mr. Cootes...
In some circles,
you might say
1 am tobacco.
That's really cool,
Mr, Enders.
Uh, we're napalm.
Is that all?
No.
We're, uh...
Insecticide
and deodorant
and, uh...
Mom.
Mom.
Susu. Dad.
Susu. Dad.
Sorry we're
late, gang,
but the traffic...
Ch, God,
the traffic...
Peter, I'd like you
to meet my son.
Susu talks
of no one else.
That's all she
talks about...
Elgar, Elgar, Elgar.
William Jr.
William Jr.
Peter.
No, no, no.
That's Elgar.
I'm William Jr.
This is
William Jr.
Why don't we all
go In to dinner.
William Jr.2
Come along, Doris.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh. Sorry, dad.
Thank you, son.
To you.
Thank you, dad.
Dad.
Hmm?
I know I'm not
supposed to say this,
but William Ir. has
3 surprise for you.
Surprise?
Surprise, dad.
What surprise?
William Jr.
has been promoted
to head
the New York office.
Yes, dad,
I'm heading
the New York office.
Well, William Jr.,
it's no more than
I expected of you.
Elgar,
did you hear that?
I'm not deaf, dad.
Elgar, answer
your father.
Did you hear?
Yeah, I heard him.
What are you
up to, Elgar?
Elgar's bought
some real estate,
haven't you, Elgar?
Susan.
Where is this real
estate, Elgar?
The park slope area,
William Jr.
It's 2 miles south
of the Dodd-Sears townhouse
on Concord street.
Susan, take the clip
out of your hair.
2 miles south...
Park slope.
Park slope?
Good God.
Elgar, are you
aware that, uh...
That's a colored
neighborhood?
Colored neighborhood.
I'm three doors from mom's
chitlin 'n' rib joint.
Oh, Elgar.
We will not discuss
the revolting aspects of
your business venture,
if you don't mind.
What's it
all about, folks?
Well, Peter, um...
You might as well hear,
since you're likely
to marry my sister,
if she hasn't
told you already.
Told me what?
Elgar, don't
you dare.
We can't keep it secret
all our lives.
You want to hear
the truth,
It involves
you and Susan.
What are you
talking about?
Peter, actually, uh...
Our whole family...
Mom, Susu, dad,
William Jr.,
and grandfather here...
We are all..
Octoroons.
What an ugly thing
to say.
I'm offended.
Octoroon?
Heywood and Edith are
our poor dark relations.
Elgar!
Would you please
explain your conduct
at this table
tonight?
Darling, come on,
apologize.
He makes napalm
and deodorant.
And insecticide,
You lazy,
no-good liberal.
Shall 1 serve
the fish...
What?
Oh. Yes, bring in
the fish... please.
Let me tell you
something, Mr. Lincoln.
If you march
into this house
with an armful
of pickaninnies,
the best you can
expect from me
will be a swift kick
in the ass!
Mr. Enders, you forgot
to finish your soup.
Uh! I'm just
too upset, Edith.
Edith, bring in
some of that wonderful
trout of yours, please.
I think that'll
help everything.
Thank you.
Lord, Mr. Elgar,
you sure love Edith's
cold potato soup.
You want some more, sir?
That's the last straw!
That's all right,
folks.
There's plenty more
soup in the kitchen
if anybody
wants any.
Elgar, get out
of this room!
Go!
Do you know what
NAACP means?
No, Elgar.
What does it mean?
It means, "niggers ain't
always colored people."
What does
he mean by that?
He called us niggers.
Us?
Heywood.
Knock it off.
Rita, I just want
to talk to you.
No. Ne, [ don't.
I just want to...
Rite? 1 want to talk...
Sally, the thing
that amazes me the most
is that my parents
don't understand
that they are totally,
totally antichristian.
Please, Elgar,
I'm sorry.
I don't have time
to talk to you.
It's not like I come
around with my problems...
1 have to make festoons
for the "worthy causes' ball.
1 just want to come in
for a few minutes.
Let me come in
for a few minutes.
Who's that?
He's, um.
He's helping me
with the festoons.
Oh,
Ahem.
Yeah, well, till
I see you again,
have a merry
Christmas
and happy new year,
happy Halloween,
and screw you, too.
Hey, you know that
peace symbol thing
you got hanging
around your neck...
Shove it up your ass.
J Let me
love you, baby &
I I want
to love you now &
7 close your eyes
and shut off the light
7 let me show you how &
Jin a second you
will understand
2 the way I feel §
J everything
you've ever wanted [
I everything is real
7 let me love I
7 let me love you, baby 7
7 let me love you now 7
I oh, let me
love you, baby &
7 let me show you how &
2 I'll show you how &
1 whoa, let me love you J
J whoa! I}
Uh, hi.
Hi.
Uh, I'm Elgar.
My name's Lanie.
Would you like
to dance?
Fantastic!
What's fantastic?
You, your being here,
it's fantastic.
Are you with V.I.S.T.A?
Is this some sort
of new program?
V.I.S.T.A.
Right.
Volunteers
in service to America,
Volunteers, huh?
You think I'm white,
don't you?
On, tha...
That's...
That's...
Well, how was [
supposed to know?
If it's that important,
you should've asked.
No, it's not
that important.
Well, 0.K. O.K.
Let's just
keep dancing.
Well, my mother's Irish,
my, uh, father's black,
and they got divorced
when [ was, uh...
16 years old.
The courts said I should spend
the winters with my father
when I was
going to school.
In the summer, I, uh,
lived with my mother.
So in the summer
1 was white,
and... and in the winter...
I was black.
God, what did that
do to you?
1 got very wise.
So, why do you
work there?
What do you mean,
why do I work
there?
It, uh...
It's a bar,
Well, I like it,
and, uh...
And what?
And?
Come on, and what?
And nothing.
So if I walk up
to you
and I say,
"1 recognize you,"
then, uh...
Then what?
We recognize...
Recognize something
that we've
always known.
I guess that doesn't
make too much sense,
does It?
How old are you?
29,
You're 29 years old,
and you still
live at home?
It's a big house.
Ch, no house
is that big.
Well, come on,
let's go.
Where?
To my place.
You sure
it's all right?
It's all right, Elgar,
but tomorrow
you have to go home.
Come on, Elgar,
I have a class
at 1:00.
How old are you?
24.
24?
25,
25,
I'm 26 years old.
I believed you when
you said you were 24.
You did?
Yeah,
In here!
Landlord,
in here.
Come on.
Duboise,
will you move.
Come on, hurry up.
There's water running
all over my kitchen.
Oh, my goodness!
You're making more mess
than we got.
What are...
What in the hell
are you doing?
Is that O.K.?
Fine, Thanks.
0.K?
0.k
0.K?
O.K.
O.K.
Mr. Cumberson!
I want to know
if your bell works.
Come on.
I know he's in there,
Oh, yeah. I'll bet.
Oh, come on, please.
If you don't want
your bell fixed, fine.
Al right?
All right, forget it.
I should be getting
the plans back
from the building
department soon.
As soon as everybody can
find a new place to live,
1 can start with most
of the heavy work.
Uh, Marge,
how am I going to get
everybody out of here?
I wouldn't sit
on a hot stove
till it happens.
Hey, landlord!
Hey! How are you?
I just thought
I'd come by
and see your house.
Now, in here,
I'm going to rip
all this out here,
see, straight through
to the skylight.
In that area, I'll hang
a big chandelier.
Right.
And here I'm going
to put a patio.
Don't step
on this stuff.
Lots of used brick
and maybe some
tubs of flowers
along the wall here.
And then...
Right here
in this corner,
I thought
it'd be wild
if we had some kind of
fantastic sculpture.
That'd be very nice.
Or maybe a birdbath.
A birdbath,
Guess what?
What?
They're having a rent
party for me tonight.
Can you come?
I can't.
I'll be dancing tonight.
Oh, God. I'm late
for the dentist.
I got to go.
Why are you going
to the dentist?
1 got this wicked tooth
back here.
I've only had one cavity
in my whole life.
They can use silver
if you'd rather.
Can I give you
a ride?
His office is just a
couple blocks from here.
This your car?
Yeah, Yeah.
Can I call you
tomorrow?
0.k
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Hey! What the hell
you doing
on the toilet?
Hey!
Hojambo.
Meaning "welcome,”
provided, of course,
you have the necessary
requisite... $2.00.
Professor.
Thank you.
How you doing?
Monsieur landlord. $5.00.
$5.00?
You aren't real,
professor.
Not qualifying
as a spook
or hallucination,
I assure you, sir,
I'm a bit more real
than you are.
Hold it, everybody!
Hold it now!
Here he is.
Here he is,
our guest of honor...
Our wonderful
and new landlord.
Hi.
He, uh, uh...
Now listen.
You don't bother him,
and he won't bother you.
I'll get you a drink.
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Whoo!
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Form a circle!
Whoo!
Now, children,
how do we live?
Elgar.
Black.
Black.
Black.
Black.
Black, baby.
Black.
Baby, black
is a whole new thing.
And you're going to
have to reckon with it.
Is it a fad, though?
See, that's the thing.
Man, that is not
the thing.
It's like
you got a mole.
You got a mole
right here.
And you'll
do anything...
To get rid
of this mole.
Because everybody
that doesn't have moles...
Got you to believe
it's real ugly.
So you'd do anything.
You'd hide your face.
Anything...
Walk in backwards...
You'd do everything.
Anything.
Then one day...
One day...
One day...
Moles are in.
Moles are in.
People are getting out
their eyebrow pencil...
Marking them on,
and you've got one...
Naturally...
Right in the middle
of your forehead.
You'll know what pride
is for the first time.
For the first time.
You whiteys screaming
about miscegenation...
And you done
watered down
every race
you ever hated.
Have mercy, baby.
Have mercy.
Have mercy, have mercy.
Have mercy!
Have mercy,
baby.
Have mercy.
Have mercy.
What's the matter?
You sick?
Ooh! You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Come on.
Huh?
1 said come on.
You got any
mouthwash? Ha ha.
In the bathroom.
Back there.
Right back there?
Uh-huh.
Where's Copee?
Aw, he's in jail.
How come
he's in jail?
Huh?
How come Copee's
in jail?
Oh, he had another
demonstration today.
Seems like they're putting
everybody in jail nowadays.
Hmm?
I said it seems like
everybody's
going to jail nowadays,
especially Copee.
When did it
happen?
This morning.
I don't know. It all just
seems so strange to me.
I look at Copee
sometimes, and I wonder...
How did we get
ourselves into this?
Well, I was
miss sepia, 1957.
What's that?
Well, that's like
miss America
or miss New York...
Except in color.
There's my trophy
over there,
What, this?
Uh-huh.
Francine Marie Johnson,
miss sepia, 1957.
Ha.
My mother had it
made into a lamp
for me
for Christmas.
I liked it better
when it was a cup.
Ha ha ha.
But anyway,
as 1 was saying,
it sure has been hard on me
since Copee turned black.
Turned black?
Yeah. He was Sioux
Indian for two years.
And little Walter gee...
He gets so confused.
He doesn't know
what to think.
You know, I thought...
I thought about
going to Chicago.
Maybe California.
Go into the movies or...
Go on TV or something.
I'm sure tired
of doing heads.
Do you think I look
good enough to be on TV?
I think you look
fantastic.
Yeah, well, you wouldn't
know it by Copee.
He thinks 1 should
be blacker,
That's ridiculous.
Why is that
ridiculous?
Because you're
beautiful.
It's just
the red light.
Ohh...
What's the matter?
Oh, wait a second.
Oh, God.
My head's killing me.
You feel anything?
Well, you haven't
got a fever.
What you got there?
Excedrin.
You got
a headache, too?
7 Let him hold you &
7 let him
touch you &
7 soon you'll understand 7
J while he makes you &
J into a woman
7 he becomes
J your man J
I The tenderness I
s you learn to love &
J as memories rush &
& through your head [
2 you'll make her feel &
7 just like a woman #
1 while you become &
# her man #
Elgar.
Elgar...
This doesn't mean
anything.
Because I love Copee.
Lanie!
Hi. Come on in.
I just don't understand
your sudden interest in
those kind of people, dear.
I mean, we're all
liberals, but...
Open
hybridization...
I'm their landlord till
they get relocated.
Well, I don't
understand.
Red ball!
Oh,
I think
there's something
that you should know,
mother.
What's that, dear?
I think I love a girl
who's a negro.
Elgar, let's go
for a little drive.
I want to talk to you.
Uh, daddy...
Yes?
We're going for a drive.
Something's come up.
Elgar,
a lot of these people...
Not all...
There's good black people as
well as good white people.
I've always taught
you that.
But some live to set traps
for rich white women.
I'm not a rich
white woman, mother.
I know that, dear.
I didn't mean that. You
know 1 didn't mean that.
Didn't we
all go together
to see Guess Who's
Coming to Dinner?
Yeah,
It's just, Elgar,
you have to realize
all Negroes
are not like that.
You sound like
a segregationist.
I think you have
a castration complex.
You have a castration complex.
1 can't have one.
It isn't physically
possible.
A castration complex
is one of the crosses
a liberated female
must bear!
You think I'm a liberator, dear?
Joyce,
you are a liberated,
aggressive, butch
American broad.
Doesn't mean
I don't love you.
What does it mean,
dear?
It means I'm going to do what
I want with my damn life.
So...
You're going to marry
2 Negress. Ha ha.
You'll be happy to
hear she's very light.
Son, do me a favor.
Make sure.
Oh, mother.
1 don't care.
Don't you
understand?
Why don't you come
down to my house
and help me plan
what to do?
Me, your castrated
mother?
What could I possibly
do to help?
Just help me plan it.
You can pick out the
drapes, uh, wallpaper,
stuff like that.
Huh?
Huh?
You only have to
ask, dear.
That's all you've
ever had to do.
And don't worry
about that girl, dear.
If she's
putting you on,
she's most likely
only Jewish.
Heywood,
I shouldn't be long.
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on. Go on, go on!
If you're from the police,
they got him already.
Uh...
1 beg your pardon?
I'm Mrs, Enders.
Oh,
The landlord's wife?
Ha ha ha. Well,
thank you very much.
I'm his mother.
Oh!
Ha ha.
1 didn't get your name.
Marge.
Just call me Marge.
Marge.
What's your name,
dear?
Same as my son's...
Enders.
Oh,
Ha ha ha.
What's your
first name?
Joyce.
Nice.
What you got there,
Joyce?
Oh...
Oh, I was just browsing
through house beautiful
and 1 came across this
material for drapes.
i thought I'd drop over
and measure the windows
and have some
made up for Elgar
for a housewarming
gift, but...
Isn't that thoughtful?
I sew,
You do?
Mm-hmm. 1 made
all the designs
for Ruby Randall's fashion
show at the rock of ages.
You did?
Mm-hmm. Sit down
and drink your wine
before the ice cubes
melt.
From the looks
of this apartment,
I would say the water
comes in secondhand.
Mmm.
Good. Very good.
Try this. This'll
tear your head off.
Why does it foam
like that?
Is that carbonated?
Uh-uh,
It's just ruthless.
It's ruthless!
Listen, would you
like a little lunch?
1 got some ham
hocks, same Greens...
I never eat lunch. It's my own diet.
Never,
Honey...
You better sit down
and have some lunch.
How you white folks
going to defend yourself
if you don't eat?
Ha ha ha ha!
What is that?
Pot liquor.
Pot? Pot Li...
Pot. Pot liquor.
Uh, juice
from the Greens.
Oh!
Puts lead
in your pencil.
Lead in my pencil?
Oh, ho ho!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Mmm!
Oh, boy.
Joyce,
you could get at those
hocks a little better
if you take
your gloves off.
Oh, God. My gloves!
Ah... actually, I've
taken up reimbodiment.
Reimbodiment?
What's that?
You'll never
guess.
Ha.
Don't count on it.
Oh, yes!
I have something
to tell you.
I did something very
naughty this morning.
You did?
What did you do?
Guess.
You dirtied
on the floor.
Ha! Ah ha!
No!
No!
God!
Well, now, give me
two more guesses.
Hell no!
Hoo hoo!
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ohh...
Tell us,
Oh, it's funny.
What?
Forget...
What 1 did this morning.
Isn't that funny?
It's a wonder you remember
where you are, honey.
You on your
second jug.
Let me pour you another
little nip here.
It wasn't important
anyway.
No.
Se, uh...
As I was saying.
You know...
Twas very... popular
when [ was young.
And all the young men
were so attractive,
Oh!
Oh, God.
And my husband...
Tell us,
I can't remember
which one I married.
Last night I...
I, uh...
Elgar, what's
bothering you?
Nothing.
What do you mean,
nothing?
Ah, just, uh...
Elgar, say it.
Shit.
Now
what is the matter?
1 forgot my lucky
number again.
18,
18,
18,
And your note...
Your note is e-flat.
7 Whoo }
More. More...
When do I hit
this note?
You hit it
anytime you like.
It's yours.
S Ooh I
J ooh ¥
J ooh #
Mmm... mmm.
Listen, now, now,
now,
don't you worry
about it, baby.
I'll make the drapes
and...
TI...
Get the material.
Won't charge nothing
like the decorator.
I don't know how
to thank you. Here.
That's all right.
Here, take this
charger plate, honey.
Get what you need.
Just... I...
Take... a swatch of that
material and get what you want.
Tm going home. God...
Wherever that is.
Ohh...
Want me to wrap up a couple
of these ham hacks for you?
Uh, no.
I'll just, uh...
Put 'em in my bag.
Well, all right,
honey.
Since you enjoyed
them so much.
Here. Take three.
1 got plenty more.
Stay cool, Marge.
Mm-hmm. Can you
make it down?
Stay cool.
Hey... wood!
My mouth is so dry.
Why is my mouth
50 dry?
Ohh...
Hi.
Hi. How are you?
Hi. Got a lot
of reservations?
Yeah. We're
going to have a lot.
Good.
Anytime you leave
perfume, lipstick,
anything like that
around, man,
you know, like,
nobody sees it.
1 don't understand it.
Chicks just go blind.
Try, um, miss thing.
She had a date
last night.
Miss thing, you
seen my perfume?
I think we ought to
check her pocketbook.
No, I don't think you'd
better check my pocketbook!
Give this pocketbook
to me.
Oh, look at her.
Listen, you raggedy ass
black bitch,
don't you mess with me.
Listen, you high-yellow heifer,
you have to get a lot
blacker and a lot badder
to stand there and
call me a black bitch.
Get something
straightened out, honey.
'Cause you got one of them
little blue-eyed wonders
don't mean a
fucking thing to me.
7 You can't account
for 40 hours
Jin
a 24-hour day... &
I You be dirty &
7 you're gonna be dirty /
I baby §
1 yeah, yeah &
7 you be dirty
7 you're gonna be dirty /
I baby §
I whoa, yeah &
7 you be dirty
7 what kind of man
are you? J
S Baby &
7 do me, do me right »
I what kinda man are you &
I baby §
7 to stay out
all night long? 37
You're early.
Yeah,
What's the matter?
Huh?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing?
What, uh...
I quit my job.
You quit your job?
That's right.
What are you
going to do?
I don't know what I'm
going to do, Elgar.
I just don't know,
50 leave me alone!
Hey, w-what happened?
Did something happen?
What's the matter?
Going to tell me
what's wrong?
So, my dear,
if we can raise 150,000 for
Laura's thing next month,
we've got the cooperation of St.
Andrews and that whole bunch.
Joyce, darling, Lily's being
moved to mercy hospital.
It locks very bad.
It's a matter
of time.
Oh, poor Lily!
I don't see what that
has to do with it.
She's not
on the committee.
I know, but if Lily
passes away, dear,
the funeral will be
an absolute must.
Joyce, isn't that
Elgar coming in?
Oh, thank God.
Elgar!
Elgar.
Uh, Elgar!
What is this
costume?
Did you come all the way
here to embarrass me?
Who is that? Is
that bunny Oliver?
No, mother,
this is Lanie.
I told you about
Lanie.
What did you
tell me?
That I thought
Twas in love.
Come meet Mr. and Mrs.
dory and their daughter
all the way
from Virginia.
Excuse me, dear.
So nice to meet you.
Mother, screw Mr. and Mrs.
dory and their daughter,
and screw Virginia!
Mother, your committee
is waiving cocktails.
I think things are
falling apart.
Oh, my God!
Elgar, I'm so glad
You came.
Yeah, hi, Susu.
How are you?
This is Lanie. This
is my sister Susan.
Divine.
Hello.
Elgar, Peter's here.
He's marvelous, and
he's dying to see you.
Where the hell is he?
Elgar.
Hey, William Jr.
We're locking
for Oscar.
Have you seen
Oscar?
The one who
carries the flag.
I don't know an Oscar,
Listen, I want you
to meet..,
Doris, [ want you to...
Elgar.
Oh, yes. Scotch and
soda on the rocks.
You want something?
Elgar, it's Peter!
Peter Bo jangles coon.
Oh. Do a little
dance for us.
And you're Shirley
temple, right?
Yeah,
I'm Shirley temple.
Elgar, Peter and [
are engaged.
Oh, congratulations.
Peter...
Susan.
Susan, stop that
exhibition.
We're going
out for a smoke.
Enjoy yourselves.
Dad. Dad!
Dad?
Huh?
I want you
to meet Lanie.
This is my father.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Isn't that a great
costume he's got on?
Thank you.
Uh, yours, too.
Well, before you
get too drunk,
I want to talk
to you.
If you'll
excuse us, dear.
Certainly.
We'll find a place
with less noise.
Dad, wait a second.
It's all right.
No, no, come on
I took a drive
past that house of yours
in that dreadful slum,
and upon investigating
your rent records...
If you can call them
records...
1 discovered
that you, uh...
Get no rent
from those hoodlums.
Yeah, dad. 1, uh...
There's one sublet
that goes under
the dubious title
of the Cumbersons
who hasn't paid rent
in over a year.
They're an elderly
couple.
They have no funds,
no relations...
Son, I think you
haven't got the guts
to ask them
for the rent.
They're too old and sick
to even come outside, dad.
Is that so?
Yeah,
Are you sure
you're not just afraid?
I mean, in case
you ask them
for some of that back rent,
maybe two months' worth,
that they might not riot and
burn that roach trap down?
All right, dad.
Let's see how heartless
you can really be.
You're so tough,
right?
You listen to that old
man's poor, pathetic voice
and demand money
from him.
We're going to have
a civilized conversation
about the issues of this
disgusting business venture.
There's got to be
law and order.
Now sit down.
No, I'm not going to
sit down, general, uh...
W-whatever the hell
your name is
with your fruit salad
and everything.
Marge? Will you try and get
Mr. Cumberson to the phone, please?
I'm ...
What?
Oh, no, no!
Are they dead?
Oh, holy shit.
Uh...
Yeah.
Tl be right over.
Son of a...
Hey, did the joint
burn down?
Hey, man...
For your troubles.
Marge?
Hi, sugar.
What happened
to, uh, the...
Well, I... I think
the Cumbersons
got a new lease on
life or something,
and they're gone. They...
The radiators.
Where are the radiators?
You didn't want those
old radiators anyhow.
A junkman can get you
plenty of radiators.
Oh, beautiful.
They took the stove!
That... that...
W-why not?
Why not take
the stove?
Place looks like
a damn tomb.
1 just came out
the can... again.
1 been fighting the man
out here in the streets
since Twas 7.
1 came out the house
and smelled paint.
He's fixing
his place.
He's fixing
his place.
In a place where
there's poor people
sitting out here
in the street.
Ta-da!
Hi.
Uh-uh! No, no, no!
Stay there. Stay there.
I have got
a surprise for you.
Listen, honey,
let me turn this
down a smidgen.
Yeah. Come on,
what you got. there?
How do you like
that?
Oh, yeah!
That's wild,
Recognize anybody?
And 1 got
something else.
It's little,
but kind of special.
I hope you like it.
Oh, gee, hon,
I can't get over everything.
I really can't.
It's like
I told you...
A little paint
and some curtains
and...
Well...
A few thousand
dollars.
And you got yourself
3 real nice place.
Hey, you didn't even
open up my gift.
It's an egg!
That's right.
Uh... could
you tell me
where [ might
find Mr, Enders?
The landlord lives in
the basement, lady.
Hi, mother. How are you?
Come on in,
Elgar, I want this entire poverty
program that you're on dropped.
Uh, mother, you...
No, no. I want you out
of here within the week.
Mother, you will
not walk into my house
and order me about.
And another thing...
Tell that Marge upstairs
I want my charger
plate back.
What charger plate?
Don't you
charger plate me.
That's my drapery
material!
She's outfitted the
entire plantation.
Mother, don't call
this a plantation.
You dumb cluck.
What?
You really aren't
concerned, are you,
that you walked
boldly
into the spinal meningitis
summer festival ball
at which I begged
You...
1 begged you to come
in a costume of a
dead American hero!
Well, Susu came dressed
as Shirley temple.
Susu did not come
as Shirley temple.
She came as
little Eva!
All right. I'm not
going to argue with you.
I'm net going to
argue with you.
Look at you.
Look at you.
Why don't you
cut your hair?
Elgar, you look
like a floozy.
Mother, in about
two seconds,
I'm going to really
lose my temper,
and I'm going to throw
your ass out of here.
0.K., what's the
matter with you now?
Nothing.
Don't pay any attention.
Go right on
with what you were saying.
Mmm.
Joyce, if your heart doesn't
attack you in a few minutes,
Twill.
Attack me?
What... do you mean...
Do you mean
sexually, you pervert?
I'm your mother!
O.K., lady, go on.
Out! Get out!
What have they done
to you?
What have they done
to me?
I'll tell you what they've
done to me, mother.
For one thing, as I'm sure
you've already noticed,
I've run away from home!
I'm 29 years old, and 1
have run away from home.
Doesn't that strike you as
being just a little sick?
You... you...
Elgar Winthrop
Julius Enders,
you no longer
have a mother.
Thanks.
Do you think
the lady
could excuse us for
a minute, landlord?
What for?
What do you want?
Excedrin headache
number one.
I Lay your kinky,
woolly head &
Jon your mammy's breast I}
Aah!
Copee?
Copee,
what are you doing?
Trying to fill out
this application,
go downtown and get some
money for the white landlord.
Copee,
1 got to talk to you.
What?
What's the matter?
What's the matter,
baby?
Ha ha ha ha.
Copee, I'm pregnant.
You're what?
I'm pregnant.
I told you don't
come to me like that.
What is it we can do?
What is it
can we do about it?
You going to have a baby
in how many months?
How many months, baby?
Hmm?
How many months
pregnant are you?
Copee, it ain't
your baby.
What do you mean
it's not my baby?
It just ain't your baby,
honey.
You mean to tell me
that somebody else
has been sleeping
in my bed
while I'm gone?
I'll be Goddamned!
What do you want
to do that for?
Who was it?
Fanny?
Oh, leave me alone!
1 said who was it?
Answer me!
Whose baby is it?
Whose baby is it?
Whose baby is it?
Copee!
Copee!
Aah!
Copee, don't!
You little bitch!
No! Mama! Mama!
Aah!
Someone, help!
Help, somebody!
Fanny!
Copee!
Copee!
Copee!
Copee!
Copee, don't!
Copee, don't!
Aah!
Let me in!
Somebody, let me in!
Come on! Let me in!
Let me in!
Come on!
Open this door!
Open it! Come on!
Let me in! Let me in!
Let me in!
Mom! Dad!
Go back!
Go back,
Walter gee!
Let me in!
Let me in!
Copee, please!
Copee?
Copee?
Copee.
Wait.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Aah!
Hey!
Wait.
My mama.
My mama.
All... all but one...
Had blue eyes.
Yes, I know, Copee.
Uncle Harry
had good hair.
Christ has never known the
horror of nappy hair in America.
Yes, Copee, yes.
It isn't enough
I have just been a Jew.
1 have been
a black Jew.
Hmm?
D-don't...
D-don't let them
transplant my heart
till I'm dead.
No, Copee.
No, I won't.
I won't let them,
uh-uh.
I won't let them.
Hey, boy.
I have a new tenant
for you.
That sounds great.
Thanks.
Bachelor number one,
what's the crummiest thing.
You've ever done
on a date?
I lost my girlfriend.
1 mean...
We went to Disneyland,
and we went on
Mr. Toad's wild ride.
We were going
bumpy bumpy bump.
She bumped
out of the car.
1 picked her up,
though.
Bachelor...
Bachelor number three...
I'm just
going to stay right here.
That's what I should do...
To be with her...
Make sure everything,
you know...
Everything will be O.K.
This is why
you haven't called me?
Yeah,
You know... don't look
at me like that, 0.K.?
Why?
Why what?
Why? Why have you
done all of this?
Because I'm a bastard,
all right?
I love you, Elgar.
Can I help you, sir?
I have lunch money
for Walter gee Copee.
In the basement.
Moving forward.
Lunch punch.
Shift!
Heave!
Charge!
Stepping back.
Shift!
Heave!
Charge!
Shift!
Heave!
Shift!
Free!
Ha ha ha ha ha...
Mr. Copee, your wife and
new son are just fine.
Copee?
Copee?
I don't want to see it.
You don't have
to see him.
I don't want to see it.
Elgar, I love Copee.
I can't take
the baby home to him.
I won't do that to him.
It's not fair, Elgar.
I think you ought to
get some rest, 0.K.?
Then I'll be back.
Would you take
the baby?
I can't.
What am I going
to do with a baby?
Think it would be
all right
if I put it up
for adoption?
1 guess so.
Well...
That's what
I'm going to do.
I want one thing,
though.
What's that?
I want him adopted
as white.
0.k
Why?
'Cause I want him
to grow up casual,
like his daddy.
Come in.
Mr. Enders?
I want to pay you
your rent.
All rent is to be paid
to Mr. and Mrs. Copes
from now on.
Really?
That's right.
Reminds me of the man
who put a black family
in to work a store..,
Fool the neighbors.
1 gave this house
to Mrs. Copee
because [ don't need it.
Did she need another
baby, too, Mr. Enders?
You're an evil
son of 2 bitch.
However, evil as I am,
I'll put this rent
under the Copees" door.
No school today,
professor Duboise?
Yes, there's school
today, Mr. Enders,
however,
I won't invite you
to come and audit
a class.
1 dare you.
Would you find yourself a
seat, please, Mr. Enders?
Mr. Enders,
over there,
We've all had
our breakfast today,
50 you'll be
comparatively safe.
Now... Laura Anne...
Define
relative knowledge.
The principle
that knowledge is related,
relative to the limited
nature of the mind
and conditions of knowing
and, therefore, not true to the
nature of independent reality.
Gene...
What is a triangle?
A figure
formed by three lines,
intersecting by twos
in three points
and so forming
three angles.
Al right.
Ernest,
law and order.
White police,
soldiers, guns,
mace, obeying
the white establishment.
Now, children,
how do we live?
Elgar?
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
James.
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
Malcolm,
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
Louise.
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
Mr. Enders...
See, ladies and gentlemen,
some people can't learn
what we learn,
♪ Cause they can't stop 7
I 'what men do !
I and that's why, lord
J I call on you s
I they don't even know J
J they don't know
how to sin &
J these are troubled times &
I that we're livin' in #
J yes, sir !
7 when bombs fall
¥ children cry &
J and, yes, lord
T some will die &
2 and that's why
I got to say &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
I God
I bless the children
I God
I bless the children
J teach us how to love &
7 like never before ;
J and may we
never, never, never J
7 study war no more &
J talk to the heart 7
7 of the men who need it /
7 and make them understand ;
J right now, lord... 7
Lanie!
Lanie!
Lanie!
Lanie!
J lord
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord... &
Lanie!
Lanie!
7 Bless the children »
I God #
I bless the children
# so many times... J
Lanie!
Come on down!
I We got trouble 7
J it won't last,
no way... /
You shut your ass!
7 I'm not sayin' §
I that this thing is wrong ¢
J but I'm wonderin'
right now
I how come
it's gotten bad so long? J
1 To see a newborn baby &
Jin some
proud mother's arms [
7 then you think
of all the countries &
I that now have a gun 7
I and you
just got to say &
J lord &
J lord &
Come on!
J lord
J lord &
I God
I bless the children
I mmm7'
I God
I bless the children
J say it
a little bit louder »
I God
I bless the children
♪ say it one more time &
J God... #
Now, children,
how do we live?
Elgar?
Thank you, Heywood.
Ahh.
It's just that
1 get the feeling
that we're all...
I mean, everybody...
Black, white, yellow,
democrat, communist,
Republicans,
old people, young people,
whatever...
Only the finest thing
in my shop, girl.
Which one of y'all
is next?
1 may close this place
with this child here.
We're all like
abunch of ants... see?
See, the strongest drive
we have as a true life-force
is to gain territory.
Gash,
you're gorgeous.
Where do you live,
baby?
Ahem.
J It's a brand new day [
I brand new way I}
I've never done anything...
1 mean, anything
quite like this before.
I've always wanted
to do it
because everybody
wants his own home,
and I've never
had a place of my own.
7 Last night I had a dream
that the world ;
7 was changing
by leaps and bounds
7 it started up
in the bigger cities &
7 then it spread
to the smaller towns &
I the people began
to smile at people &
I They'd never even seen &
J and when Jeremiah
woke me up J
J T was ready to live
that dream ;
J it's a brand new day &
So like
hart crane the poet,
who's also a cancerian..
See, I'm a cancerian.
And home
is very important,
but we never seem
to make it.
Se, uh...
Meney's never been
the problem.
T Bow our heads together &
I and see where
we go from there &
1 we've got to fight
for what we believe in
J fight until the end &
J it's a brand new day &
J it's a brand new way &
7 brand new way !
J brand new day »
7 brand new way !
So, shit,
1 bought this house.
Actually,
it's a tenement house.
It's in this ghetto area.
J Twenty million shadows
storming at the gates &
J how can you
be surprised?
I With the image
of our fallen king &
7 reflected in our eyes J
I And though twenty million tongues
are shouting now/
2 it's only heard by a precious few
J but the years of night
will pass forever
7 when the sun
comes shinin' through
J on a brand new day »
J it's a brand new way &
ok, its
3rend new day !
I just want to get all
the Goddamn tenants out
and rip it out.
It's an old house.
Lots of molding.
J It's a brand new way 7
J a brand new day &
Juh-huh }
J brand new day »
I yeah,
a brand new day &
I yeah,
Twonder if you know {
I what I'm talkin' about &
7 you better check
yourself 7
7 get it together now... I¢
I want to rip out
all the floors
all the way
up to the skylight, see,
and then recess the floors
50 you have balconies,
and then hang
this big Goddamn modern,
spectacular, psychedelic,
son-of-2-bitchin' fight
from the ceiling.
Is that beautiful?
Bon ton heights
will start a trend in
urban renewal, Mr. Enders.
Restored landmarks will be
the latest scream, I'm sure.
I hope your seeing Mr. Farcus'
place going so well
will inspire you to feel
rosy about your new place.
My, my. Shopping
without stopping.
Oh, Mr. Farcus.
Enid.
Street music.
Isn't it marvelous?
This is Mr, Enders.
He's your new neighbor.
Uh, I'm Elgar Enders.
I'm your new neighbor.
He just bought a house
in the next block,
Your house
is just great.
It's just fantastic.
This neighborhood's
going to be very chic.
Let's hope this influx
of the beautiful people
is the beginning
of an inclination, huh?
What the hell is that?
What is that?
Eviction powder.
Eviction powder?
What's eviction powder?
Oh, it's nothing,
Mr. Enders.
Just a little voodoo.
Ha ha ha!
Only $25, man!
You're lying!
You're lying,
man!
I woke up
one morning, man,
I thought I was
in the wrong house.
Ha ha ha!
He was causing trouble
the night before.
Here comes
the white tornado.
Hey, man!
What's goin' on?
You got two little
pedals down there.
One's a brake.
That thing you got
your hand on,
that's
a gear shift lever.
Oh! No good.
No good, my man.
Turn off the car, man.
Get out the car.
Uh-oh!
We're gonna have
to watch out for this.
What is this
we have here?
Oh...
Come closer.
Heh heh heh!
I'm Elgar Enders,
the new landlord.
You the new
landlord?
He the new landlord, man.
The new landlord, man.
You don't
shake my hand?
I just want to...
I'll put your flower
in the house.
Tl take your flower
in the house for you.
I'm gonna take your flower
in the house for you.
Put it down
right there.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh!
Look at this tie!
Whoo!
D'Artagnan's
gonna strike again!
Aah!
Did you see that cat
move cut, man?
Hey, kids,
here's your big chance.
To pick up
that specially priced
10... that's right...
10-record set.
Of 200 current
underground hits,
as played by the exciting,
dynamic Clyde Davis band.
That's right.
200 hits for just $1.75,
incredible as it sounds,
while this offer lasts.
Just send check
or money order.
To "Davis hits, box 5152,
battle creek, Michigan."
Groovy!
Who are you?
Walter Gee Copee.
My name's Walter Gee.
You the new landlord?
Yeah,
Give me $2.00.
What?
I said you oughta
give me $2.00.
What the hell for?
If you let me
hold $2.00,
Tl let you
take me home.
If not,
I'll call the pigs.
You will, huh?
Gimme, sport!
Help!
All right!
Shut up now!
Cigarette, pops?
Does your mother know
you smoke?
No.
Home, landlord.
Bye, landlord!
Hold it right there,
honky!
Who's that?
Now turn around
and march your buns out
before 1 shoot 'em out
from under you.
Why are you
pointing that at me?
'Cause my horoscope told me
that evil was coming today,
and, Marge,
here it is.
Get movin' or else you'll
have no hips to lean on.
1 own this house.
I'm the new landlord.
And I'm & wren tit.
Move it!
If you're a landlord,
how come you ain't got
no door keys?
I have door keys.
You know, you look like
a rapist to me.
You got funny eyes.
That's ridiculous.
If you're figuring on
carrying out
a sexual attack on me,
you better learn
the karate boogaloo
'cause we gonna tangle ass
right here in this hall.
Tam the new landlord,
and you're
disregarding your lease
by practicing whatever you're
practicing here with these readings.
I'll have you
thrown out.
If you want to shoot,
go ahead and shoot.
That'll be running
an illegal business,
nonpayment of rent,
and manslaughter.
Little thing like you,
2 landlord?
Yeah. Let's see how much
back rent you owe, all right?
Is that you
right there?
Huh?
Two months back rent
You owe me.
All here
in this book.
You look like
you could use some food.
Come on, landlord.
Let's eat.
Old Duboise upstairs,
always up in my face,
talking about being
some college president.
College president?
Wouldn't sweep the hall
if his life depended on it.
College president.
Sure. Some college
across town,
I never heard
of no college
selling degrees
for $50.
Then there's the
unearthly Cumbersons.
Unearthly?
Yeah,
They've been here
about 25 years.
Ain't nobody seen them
but twice.
How's that
for being ominous?
Uh, that's, uh...
That's impossible.
It would be
if they were alive.
Alive?
Oh, they is.
I hear 'em rollin'
around downstairs.
Listen, you should've
been here this morning
for the tenants
association rent strike.
What rent strike?
Don't worry.
It won't happen.
Wait. Are you sure?
How they gonna get
2 rent strike?
Ain't nobody paid rent
long as I can remember.
Of course, um.
There could be
2 back rent strike.
But you wouldn't
get that, either.
That would go
to Mr. Lipschultz.
That's the old landlord,
Nobody ever paid him
any rent?
Poor soul.
Lord knows
who'll get it
now that he's
passed away.
He passed away?
Rat.
Big as a dog.
Chased him
in the broom closet.
Nobody ever go in
the broom closet.
I think he was in there
about three months.
How do you Ofays
find your way into
owning these rat traps?
What do you do,
give them as
bar mitzvah presents?
Gotta have more
gun control.
You want
some more eggs?
Marge, would you mind
putting that gun away?
Don't worry.
You came my way
so I could protect you,
though I know you'll only
repay me with suffering.
Don't say that.
Hey, Marge!
Marge, have you
seen some white man
prowling around here...
You.
It was you.
It was me?
Don't deny it,
degenerate.
You gave my little
Walter gee money.
Now he's sick
on cigarettes.
I found him sick down in
the cellar chain-smoking,
so I know some child
molester gave him money.
Why do you
let him smoke?
You must know
he could get cancer.
I'm busy frying hair
all day.
I can't watch
everything he does.
What? You're frying hair
in this building?
I don't have a license
for frying hair.
He ain't got no license
for frying hair.
Find your own neighborhood
and do hair... queenie.
I'm not
a hairdresser.
You better believe it.
Fanny.
He's the new landlord.
That's right.
The new landlord.
The new landlord.
Oh, lord, ain't
this a shame?
Matter of fact,
I'm glad we met.
Your name is, uh..
Mrs. Copee.
Right.
My husband's been ill.
Mrs. Copee...
He has this
nervous condition,
He has headaches, too.
The doctor said he
should have his own room.
Four months' back rent.
Is that possible?
Oh, anything's
possible, sugar.
Anyway, we took him
to the wills eye hospital
because he's got
this twitch,
but it wasn't his eyes.
What was it?
It was his nerves.
That's, uh...
That's understandable,
Mrs. Copee.
It is?
Look, why don't we
go down to my place
50 we can discuss this
at length?
If you wish.
Promise me you won't
smoke anymore.
I promise.
What's that?
Uh, bye.
I think, uh...
Walter gee!
Walter gee, you come back here.
Hey, Duboise,
what's happening?
Hello, Fanny.
Copee in trouble
with the pigs again?
This ain't no pig
this time, sugar.
This is the new
landlord.
Landlord...
Professor Duboise.
Professor Duboise,
how do you do?
1 swear, he thinks
the lord put white
people con this earth
as a punishment.
Of course,
I don't hold
with no sacrilegious
talk like that.
Mm-hmm.
Why don't you put some
air conditioning in here?
Oh, uh...
You have some complaints, Mrs.
Copee?
You're serious?
Uh... yeah.
I sure do.
Sit.
I'll just, uh...
Ahem.
Now...
Uh... what
specific complaints
do you have, Mrs. Copee?
Well, we need a new
plastering job,
a new paint job.
The oven door's broke.
The roof leaks,
the toilet
runs all day,
and you awful cute
to be a landlord.
You said the, uh...
The roof, uh... runs,
and the toilet...
Toilet leaks.
Mmm.
If you didn't
sweat so much,
nobody'd take you
for a landlord.
You could pass
for a human being.
That's not a very nice
thing to say, Mrs. Copee,
because I intend to be
a good landlord
as long as you're here.
What you mean,
as long as I'm here?
Who's that
you got there with you?
Oh, it's
the new landlord.
That's my husband.
Ah.
Now, uh...
About the rent,
Mrs. Copee,
are you...
Landlord...
These arrows
have been dipped
in Fanny's
barbecue sauce
50 as to make
death slow...
And more agonizing
to its unfortunate victim.
Landlord,
you have until
the count of three
to vacate
these premises.
1...
2...
3!
You son of a bitch.
You make one more crack
about my spareribs,
and I'll bust your head.
Oh, you shut up.
I thought I told you
about putting your drum
in the living room.
Oh, mother...
I'm sorry.
It's my only chance.
1 got Italian class
after this.
Then your father...
Oh, God.
Keep talking.
1 hear you.
From the top.
1.2..
About my house, mother.
What house, dear?
I'm in love
with this house.
1,2..
3,4,56.
Don't do that, dear.
You're throwing me off.
I'm just trying
to help you.
I've invested
in real estate.
You have invested
in real estate?
Oscar.
Oscar.
Yes. Yes.
Yes, Joyce.
Oscar.
Darling, listen,
will you forgive me?
Oscar, 1 promise you,
we'll dance our brains out
tomorrow at 10:00.
Without interruption.
Practice pushing.
Pushing.
I will, ciao.
Ciao, darling.
Uh-huh.
Insufferable
dance Goddess.
He thinks the sun rises
and sets on rhythm.
"Rhythm, rhythm.”
All right, dear.
Quickly.
What are you
talking about?
What investment?
Pour me some of that.
What is that, Brandy?
Oh,
God.
What's the matter?
You looked like your
father when he was little.
Aw, Joyce,
for Christ's sake.
You're drunk
and upset.
Why?
This house, this real estate,
is very important to me.
It's the most important
thing I've ever done.
I'm a cancerian...
Home's very important.
You're a Leo.
No, I'm a cancer.
When were you born?
The 15th of July.
Son of a bitch.
When was [ born?
Mother!
Foul-mouth.
Little foul-mouth.
Mother, don't do that.
You have 15 minutes.
Then it's
my Italian class,
which I'm not
giving up
to argue with you
about dates.
You see that,
my darling pussycat?
What you did is bad.
There's an iron curtain
in this house, mother.
Will you tell me what
you're talking about?
I'm talking about doing
what [ want to do.
Do it... out there
in the guest house.
I can't do it
out in the guest house.
The way you look at me
when I bare my guts,
you think
I'm off my rocker.
1 don't think
any such modem thing.
Why don't you
take up the banjo,
write folk songs...
Something you can do
in your room?
Get a bath.
Get yourself
together.
And wash everywhere.
Oh, your sister's invited
Peter Cootes for dinner.
Your brother and his wife...
What's her name?
They're coming in
from Westport.
Peter who?
Peter Cootes.
You know Peter Cootes.
Oh.
The Peter Cootes.
Of course.
Don't get smart.
Get dressed, huh?
And comb your hair.
Al right?
Yeah,
Bird!
I just want
to say, Elgar,
that I'm proud of you.
I'm glad you're my brother
and not somebody else's.
Well, it's a great house.
I think somebody's
got to begin
to integrate.
I can't. I don't have
the stomach for it.
But to think...
That 1 have a really
forward-looking,
devil-may-care
revolutionary for my brother
makes me feel right
in the swing of things.
1 just hope
you don't get shot.
Susan, God.
Have your people
planned any rallies
or marches or
anything like that?
Bird!
Elgar, would you do me
a fantastic favor?
Whatever you do,
don't talk about spades
to poor Peter.
What do you mean?
With the napalm
and all that,
he's very sensitive
about the new left.
And, Elgar...
What?
I love him,
Bird!
Elgar!
My God, what are you two
burning up here?
What is that?
Uh... my socks
caught on fire.
Your socks
caught on fire.
Well, put them out
and get downstairs,
the both of you.
Peter's getting bored.
Taste good?
God, I'd love a
little den somewhere.
Susan, dear,
you cannot go on
falling down the
stairs like this.
Tell me a proper way
to fall down the stairs,
I'll try to do it.
Susu, you really must
get a checkup.
This could be a case
of lack of coordination.
Maybe it's cerebral palsy.
Could be you're
smoking too much.
Young man,
I'll not have you
talking against the tobacco
industry in this house.
Have you bought into
tobacco, Mr. Enders?
Mr. Cootes...
In some circles,
you might say
1 am tobacco.
That's really cool,
Mr, Enders.
Uh, we're napalm.
Is that all?
No.
We're, uh...
Insecticide
and deodorant
and, uh...
Mom.
Mom.
Susu. Dad.
Susu. Dad.
Sorry we're
late, gang,
but the traffic...
Ch, God,
the traffic...
Peter, I'd like you
to meet my son.
Susu talks
of no one else.
That's all she
talks about...
Elgar, Elgar, Elgar.
William Jr.
William Jr.
Peter.
No, no, no.
That's Elgar.
I'm William Jr.
This is
William Jr.
Why don't we all
go In to dinner.
William Jr.2
Come along, Doris.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh. Sorry, dad.
Thank you, son.
To you.
Thank you, dad.
Dad.
Hmm?
I know I'm not
supposed to say this,
but William Ir. has
3 surprise for you.
Surprise?
Surprise, dad.
What surprise?
William Jr.
has been promoted
to head
the New York office.
Yes, dad,
I'm heading
the New York office.
Well, William Jr.,
it's no more than
I expected of you.
Elgar,
did you hear that?
I'm not deaf, dad.
Elgar, answer
your father.
Did you hear?
Yeah, I heard him.
What are you
up to, Elgar?
Elgar's bought
some real estate,
haven't you, Elgar?
Susan.
Where is this real
estate, Elgar?
The park slope area,
William Jr.
It's 2 miles south
of the Dodd-Sears townhouse
on Concord street.
Susan, take the clip
out of your hair.
2 miles south...
Park slope.
Park slope?
Good God.
Elgar, are you
aware that, uh...
That's a colored
neighborhood?
Colored neighborhood.
I'm three doors from mom's
chitlin 'n' rib joint.
Oh, Elgar.
We will not discuss
the revolting aspects of
your business venture,
if you don't mind.
What's it
all about, folks?
Well, Peter, um...
You might as well hear,
since you're likely
to marry my sister,
if she hasn't
told you already.
Told me what?
Elgar, don't
you dare.
We can't keep it secret
all our lives.
You want to hear
the truth,
It involves
you and Susan.
What are you
talking about?
Peter, actually, uh...
Our whole family...
Mom, Susu, dad,
William Jr.,
and grandfather here...
We are all..
Octoroons.
What an ugly thing
to say.
I'm offended.
Octoroon?
Heywood and Edith are
our poor dark relations.
Elgar!
Would you please
explain your conduct
at this table
tonight?
Darling, come on,
apologize.
He makes napalm
and deodorant.
And insecticide,
You lazy,
no-good liberal.
Shall 1 serve
the fish...
What?
Oh. Yes, bring in
the fish... please.
Let me tell you
something, Mr. Lincoln.
If you march
into this house
with an armful
of pickaninnies,
the best you can
expect from me
will be a swift kick
in the ass!
Mr. Enders, you forgot
to finish your soup.
Uh! I'm just
too upset, Edith.
Edith, bring in
some of that wonderful
trout of yours, please.
I think that'll
help everything.
Thank you.
Lord, Mr. Elgar,
you sure love Edith's
cold potato soup.
You want some more, sir?
That's the last straw!
That's all right,
folks.
There's plenty more
soup in the kitchen
if anybody
wants any.
Elgar, get out
of this room!
Go!
Do you know what
NAACP means?
No, Elgar.
What does it mean?
It means, "niggers ain't
always colored people."
What does
he mean by that?
He called us niggers.
Us?
Heywood.
Knock it off.
Rita, I just want
to talk to you.
No. Ne, [ don't.
I just want to...
Rite? 1 want to talk...
Sally, the thing
that amazes me the most
is that my parents
don't understand
that they are totally,
totally antichristian.
Please, Elgar,
I'm sorry.
I don't have time
to talk to you.
It's not like I come
around with my problems...
1 have to make festoons
for the "worthy causes' ball.
1 just want to come in
for a few minutes.
Let me come in
for a few minutes.
Who's that?
He's, um.
He's helping me
with the festoons.
Oh,
Ahem.
Yeah, well, till
I see you again,
have a merry
Christmas
and happy new year,
happy Halloween,
and screw you, too.
Hey, you know that
peace symbol thing
you got hanging
around your neck...
Shove it up your ass.
J Let me
love you, baby &
I I want
to love you now &
7 close your eyes
and shut off the light
7 let me show you how &
Jin a second you
will understand
2 the way I feel §
J everything
you've ever wanted [
I everything is real
7 let me love I
7 let me love you, baby 7
7 let me love you now 7
I oh, let me
love you, baby &
7 let me show you how &
2 I'll show you how &
1 whoa, let me love you J
J whoa! I}
Uh, hi.
Hi.
Uh, I'm Elgar.
My name's Lanie.
Would you like
to dance?
Fantastic!
What's fantastic?
You, your being here,
it's fantastic.
Are you with V.I.S.T.A?
Is this some sort
of new program?
V.I.S.T.A.
Right.
Volunteers
in service to America,
Volunteers, huh?
You think I'm white,
don't you?
On, tha...
That's...
That's...
Well, how was [
supposed to know?
If it's that important,
you should've asked.
No, it's not
that important.
Well, 0.K. O.K.
Let's just
keep dancing.
Well, my mother's Irish,
my, uh, father's black,
and they got divorced
when [ was, uh...
16 years old.
The courts said I should spend
the winters with my father
when I was
going to school.
In the summer, I, uh,
lived with my mother.
So in the summer
1 was white,
and... and in the winter...
I was black.
God, what did that
do to you?
1 got very wise.
So, why do you
work there?
What do you mean,
why do I work
there?
It, uh...
It's a bar,
Well, I like it,
and, uh...
And what?
And?
Come on, and what?
And nothing.
So if I walk up
to you
and I say,
"1 recognize you,"
then, uh...
Then what?
We recognize...
Recognize something
that we've
always known.
I guess that doesn't
make too much sense,
does It?
How old are you?
29,
You're 29 years old,
and you still
live at home?
It's a big house.
Ch, no house
is that big.
Well, come on,
let's go.
Where?
To my place.
You sure
it's all right?
It's all right, Elgar,
but tomorrow
you have to go home.
Come on, Elgar,
I have a class
at 1:00.
How old are you?
24.
24?
25,
25,
I'm 26 years old.
I believed you when
you said you were 24.
You did?
Yeah,
In here!
Landlord,
in here.
Come on.
Duboise,
will you move.
Come on, hurry up.
There's water running
all over my kitchen.
Oh, my goodness!
You're making more mess
than we got.
What are...
What in the hell
are you doing?
Is that O.K.?
Fine, Thanks.
0.K?
0.k
0.K?
O.K.
O.K.
Mr. Cumberson!
I want to know
if your bell works.
Come on.
I know he's in there,
Oh, yeah. I'll bet.
Oh, come on, please.
If you don't want
your bell fixed, fine.
Al right?
All right, forget it.
I should be getting
the plans back
from the building
department soon.
As soon as everybody can
find a new place to live,
1 can start with most
of the heavy work.
Uh, Marge,
how am I going to get
everybody out of here?
I wouldn't sit
on a hot stove
till it happens.
Hey, landlord!
Hey! How are you?
I just thought
I'd come by
and see your house.
Now, in here,
I'm going to rip
all this out here,
see, straight through
to the skylight.
In that area, I'll hang
a big chandelier.
Right.
And here I'm going
to put a patio.
Don't step
on this stuff.
Lots of used brick
and maybe some
tubs of flowers
along the wall here.
And then...
Right here
in this corner,
I thought
it'd be wild
if we had some kind of
fantastic sculpture.
That'd be very nice.
Or maybe a birdbath.
A birdbath,
Guess what?
What?
They're having a rent
party for me tonight.
Can you come?
I can't.
I'll be dancing tonight.
Oh, God. I'm late
for the dentist.
I got to go.
Why are you going
to the dentist?
1 got this wicked tooth
back here.
I've only had one cavity
in my whole life.
They can use silver
if you'd rather.
Can I give you
a ride?
His office is just a
couple blocks from here.
This your car?
Yeah, Yeah.
Can I call you
tomorrow?
0.k
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Hey! What the hell
you doing
on the toilet?
Hey!
Hojambo.
Meaning "welcome,”
provided, of course,
you have the necessary
requisite... $2.00.
Professor.
Thank you.
How you doing?
Monsieur landlord. $5.00.
$5.00?
You aren't real,
professor.
Not qualifying
as a spook
or hallucination,
I assure you, sir,
I'm a bit more real
than you are.
Hold it, everybody!
Hold it now!
Here he is.
Here he is,
our guest of honor...
Our wonderful
and new landlord.
Hi.
He, uh, uh...
Now listen.
You don't bother him,
and he won't bother you.
I'll get you a drink.
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Whoo!
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Do it! Do it!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Form a circle!
Whoo!
Now, children,
how do we live?
Elgar.
Black.
Black.
Black.
Black.
Black, baby.
Black.
Baby, black
is a whole new thing.
And you're going to
have to reckon with it.
Is it a fad, though?
See, that's the thing.
Man, that is not
the thing.
It's like
you got a mole.
You got a mole
right here.
And you'll
do anything...
To get rid
of this mole.
Because everybody
that doesn't have moles...
Got you to believe
it's real ugly.
So you'd do anything.
You'd hide your face.
Anything...
Walk in backwards...
You'd do everything.
Anything.
Then one day...
One day...
One day...
Moles are in.
Moles are in.
People are getting out
their eyebrow pencil...
Marking them on,
and you've got one...
Naturally...
Right in the middle
of your forehead.
You'll know what pride
is for the first time.
For the first time.
You whiteys screaming
about miscegenation...
And you done
watered down
every race
you ever hated.
Have mercy, baby.
Have mercy.
Have mercy, have mercy.
Have mercy!
Have mercy,
baby.
Have mercy.
Have mercy.
What's the matter?
You sick?
Ooh! You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
Come on.
Huh?
1 said come on.
You got any
mouthwash? Ha ha.
In the bathroom.
Back there.
Right back there?
Uh-huh.
Where's Copee?
Aw, he's in jail.
How come
he's in jail?
Huh?
How come Copee's
in jail?
Oh, he had another
demonstration today.
Seems like they're putting
everybody in jail nowadays.
Hmm?
I said it seems like
everybody's
going to jail nowadays,
especially Copee.
When did it
happen?
This morning.
I don't know. It all just
seems so strange to me.
I look at Copee
sometimes, and I wonder...
How did we get
ourselves into this?
Well, I was
miss sepia, 1957.
What's that?
Well, that's like
miss America
or miss New York...
Except in color.
There's my trophy
over there,
What, this?
Uh-huh.
Francine Marie Johnson,
miss sepia, 1957.
Ha.
My mother had it
made into a lamp
for me
for Christmas.
I liked it better
when it was a cup.
Ha ha ha.
But anyway,
as 1 was saying,
it sure has been hard on me
since Copee turned black.
Turned black?
Yeah. He was Sioux
Indian for two years.
And little Walter gee...
He gets so confused.
He doesn't know
what to think.
You know, I thought...
I thought about
going to Chicago.
Maybe California.
Go into the movies or...
Go on TV or something.
I'm sure tired
of doing heads.
Do you think I look
good enough to be on TV?
I think you look
fantastic.
Yeah, well, you wouldn't
know it by Copee.
He thinks 1 should
be blacker,
That's ridiculous.
Why is that
ridiculous?
Because you're
beautiful.
It's just
the red light.
Ohh...
What's the matter?
Oh, wait a second.
Oh, God.
My head's killing me.
You feel anything?
Well, you haven't
got a fever.
What you got there?
Excedrin.
You got
a headache, too?
7 Let him hold you &
7 let him
touch you &
7 soon you'll understand 7
J while he makes you &
J into a woman
7 he becomes
J your man J
I The tenderness I
s you learn to love &
J as memories rush &
& through your head [
2 you'll make her feel &
7 just like a woman #
1 while you become &
# her man #
Elgar.
Elgar...
This doesn't mean
anything.
Because I love Copee.
Lanie!
Hi. Come on in.
I just don't understand
your sudden interest in
those kind of people, dear.
I mean, we're all
liberals, but...
Open
hybridization...
I'm their landlord till
they get relocated.
Well, I don't
understand.
Red ball!
Oh,
I think
there's something
that you should know,
mother.
What's that, dear?
I think I love a girl
who's a negro.
Elgar, let's go
for a little drive.
I want to talk to you.
Uh, daddy...
Yes?
We're going for a drive.
Something's come up.
Elgar,
a lot of these people...
Not all...
There's good black people as
well as good white people.
I've always taught
you that.
But some live to set traps
for rich white women.
I'm not a rich
white woman, mother.
I know that, dear.
I didn't mean that. You
know 1 didn't mean that.
Didn't we
all go together
to see Guess Who's
Coming to Dinner?
Yeah,
It's just, Elgar,
you have to realize
all Negroes
are not like that.
You sound like
a segregationist.
I think you have
a castration complex.
You have a castration complex.
1 can't have one.
It isn't physically
possible.
A castration complex
is one of the crosses
a liberated female
must bear!
You think I'm a liberator, dear?
Joyce,
you are a liberated,
aggressive, butch
American broad.
Doesn't mean
I don't love you.
What does it mean,
dear?
It means I'm going to do what
I want with my damn life.
So...
You're going to marry
2 Negress. Ha ha.
You'll be happy to
hear she's very light.
Son, do me a favor.
Make sure.
Oh, mother.
1 don't care.
Don't you
understand?
Why don't you come
down to my house
and help me plan
what to do?
Me, your castrated
mother?
What could I possibly
do to help?
Just help me plan it.
You can pick out the
drapes, uh, wallpaper,
stuff like that.
Huh?
Huh?
You only have to
ask, dear.
That's all you've
ever had to do.
And don't worry
about that girl, dear.
If she's
putting you on,
she's most likely
only Jewish.
Heywood,
I shouldn't be long.
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on. Go on, go on!
If you're from the police,
they got him already.
Uh...
1 beg your pardon?
I'm Mrs, Enders.
Oh,
The landlord's wife?
Ha ha ha. Well,
thank you very much.
I'm his mother.
Oh!
Ha ha.
1 didn't get your name.
Marge.
Just call me Marge.
Marge.
What's your name,
dear?
Same as my son's...
Enders.
Oh,
Ha ha ha.
What's your
first name?
Joyce.
Nice.
What you got there,
Joyce?
Oh...
Oh, I was just browsing
through house beautiful
and 1 came across this
material for drapes.
i thought I'd drop over
and measure the windows
and have some
made up for Elgar
for a housewarming
gift, but...
Isn't that thoughtful?
I sew,
You do?
Mm-hmm. 1 made
all the designs
for Ruby Randall's fashion
show at the rock of ages.
You did?
Mm-hmm. Sit down
and drink your wine
before the ice cubes
melt.
From the looks
of this apartment,
I would say the water
comes in secondhand.
Mmm.
Good. Very good.
Try this. This'll
tear your head off.
Why does it foam
like that?
Is that carbonated?
Uh-uh,
It's just ruthless.
It's ruthless!
Listen, would you
like a little lunch?
1 got some ham
hocks, same Greens...
I never eat lunch. It's my own diet.
Never,
Honey...
You better sit down
and have some lunch.
How you white folks
going to defend yourself
if you don't eat?
Ha ha ha ha!
What is that?
Pot liquor.
Pot? Pot Li...
Pot. Pot liquor.
Uh, juice
from the Greens.
Oh!
Puts lead
in your pencil.
Lead in my pencil?
Oh, ho ho!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Mmm!
Oh, boy.
Joyce,
you could get at those
hocks a little better
if you take
your gloves off.
Oh, God. My gloves!
Ah... actually, I've
taken up reimbodiment.
Reimbodiment?
What's that?
You'll never
guess.
Ha.
Don't count on it.
Oh, yes!
I have something
to tell you.
I did something very
naughty this morning.
You did?
What did you do?
Guess.
You dirtied
on the floor.
Ha! Ah ha!
No!
No!
God!
Well, now, give me
two more guesses.
Hell no!
Hoo hoo!
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ohh...
Tell us,
Oh, it's funny.
What?
Forget...
What 1 did this morning.
Isn't that funny?
It's a wonder you remember
where you are, honey.
You on your
second jug.
Let me pour you another
little nip here.
It wasn't important
anyway.
No.
Se, uh...
As I was saying.
You know...
Twas very... popular
when [ was young.
And all the young men
were so attractive,
Oh!
Oh, God.
And my husband...
Tell us,
I can't remember
which one I married.
Last night I...
I, uh...
Elgar, what's
bothering you?
Nothing.
What do you mean,
nothing?
Ah, just, uh...
Elgar, say it.
Shit.
Now
what is the matter?
1 forgot my lucky
number again.
18,
18,
18,
And your note...
Your note is e-flat.
7 Whoo }
More. More...
When do I hit
this note?
You hit it
anytime you like.
It's yours.
S Ooh I
J ooh ¥
J ooh #
Mmm... mmm.
Listen, now, now,
now,
don't you worry
about it, baby.
I'll make the drapes
and...
TI...
Get the material.
Won't charge nothing
like the decorator.
I don't know how
to thank you. Here.
That's all right.
Here, take this
charger plate, honey.
Get what you need.
Just... I...
Take... a swatch of that
material and get what you want.
Tm going home. God...
Wherever that is.
Ohh...
Want me to wrap up a couple
of these ham hacks for you?
Uh, no.
I'll just, uh...
Put 'em in my bag.
Well, all right,
honey.
Since you enjoyed
them so much.
Here. Take three.
1 got plenty more.
Stay cool, Marge.
Mm-hmm. Can you
make it down?
Stay cool.
Hey... wood!
My mouth is so dry.
Why is my mouth
50 dry?
Ohh...
Hi.
Hi. How are you?
Hi. Got a lot
of reservations?
Yeah. We're
going to have a lot.
Good.
Anytime you leave
perfume, lipstick,
anything like that
around, man,
you know, like,
nobody sees it.
1 don't understand it.
Chicks just go blind.
Try, um, miss thing.
She had a date
last night.
Miss thing, you
seen my perfume?
I think we ought to
check her pocketbook.
No, I don't think you'd
better check my pocketbook!
Give this pocketbook
to me.
Oh, look at her.
Listen, you raggedy ass
black bitch,
don't you mess with me.
Listen, you high-yellow heifer,
you have to get a lot
blacker and a lot badder
to stand there and
call me a black bitch.
Get something
straightened out, honey.
'Cause you got one of them
little blue-eyed wonders
don't mean a
fucking thing to me.
7 You can't account
for 40 hours
Jin
a 24-hour day... &
I You be dirty &
7 you're gonna be dirty /
I baby §
1 yeah, yeah &
7 you be dirty
7 you're gonna be dirty /
I baby §
I whoa, yeah &
7 you be dirty
7 what kind of man
are you? J
S Baby &
7 do me, do me right »
I what kinda man are you &
I baby §
7 to stay out
all night long? 37
You're early.
Yeah,
What's the matter?
Huh?
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing?
What, uh...
I quit my job.
You quit your job?
That's right.
What are you
going to do?
I don't know what I'm
going to do, Elgar.
I just don't know,
50 leave me alone!
Hey, w-what happened?
Did something happen?
What's the matter?
Going to tell me
what's wrong?
So, my dear,
if we can raise 150,000 for
Laura's thing next month,
we've got the cooperation of St.
Andrews and that whole bunch.
Joyce, darling, Lily's being
moved to mercy hospital.
It locks very bad.
It's a matter
of time.
Oh, poor Lily!
I don't see what that
has to do with it.
She's not
on the committee.
I know, but if Lily
passes away, dear,
the funeral will be
an absolute must.
Joyce, isn't that
Elgar coming in?
Oh, thank God.
Elgar!
Elgar.
Uh, Elgar!
What is this
costume?
Did you come all the way
here to embarrass me?
Who is that? Is
that bunny Oliver?
No, mother,
this is Lanie.
I told you about
Lanie.
What did you
tell me?
That I thought
Twas in love.
Come meet Mr. and Mrs.
dory and their daughter
all the way
from Virginia.
Excuse me, dear.
So nice to meet you.
Mother, screw Mr. and Mrs.
dory and their daughter,
and screw Virginia!
Mother, your committee
is waiving cocktails.
I think things are
falling apart.
Oh, my God!
Elgar, I'm so glad
You came.
Yeah, hi, Susu.
How are you?
This is Lanie. This
is my sister Susan.
Divine.
Hello.
Elgar, Peter's here.
He's marvelous, and
he's dying to see you.
Where the hell is he?
Elgar.
Hey, William Jr.
We're locking
for Oscar.
Have you seen
Oscar?
The one who
carries the flag.
I don't know an Oscar,
Listen, I want you
to meet..,
Doris, [ want you to...
Elgar.
Oh, yes. Scotch and
soda on the rocks.
You want something?
Elgar, it's Peter!
Peter Bo jangles coon.
Oh. Do a little
dance for us.
And you're Shirley
temple, right?
Yeah,
I'm Shirley temple.
Elgar, Peter and [
are engaged.
Oh, congratulations.
Peter...
Susan.
Susan, stop that
exhibition.
We're going
out for a smoke.
Enjoy yourselves.
Dad. Dad!
Dad?
Huh?
I want you
to meet Lanie.
This is my father.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Isn't that a great
costume he's got on?
Thank you.
Uh, yours, too.
Well, before you
get too drunk,
I want to talk
to you.
If you'll
excuse us, dear.
Certainly.
We'll find a place
with less noise.
Dad, wait a second.
It's all right.
No, no, come on
I took a drive
past that house of yours
in that dreadful slum,
and upon investigating
your rent records...
If you can call them
records...
1 discovered
that you, uh...
Get no rent
from those hoodlums.
Yeah, dad. 1, uh...
There's one sublet
that goes under
the dubious title
of the Cumbersons
who hasn't paid rent
in over a year.
They're an elderly
couple.
They have no funds,
no relations...
Son, I think you
haven't got the guts
to ask them
for the rent.
They're too old and sick
to even come outside, dad.
Is that so?
Yeah,
Are you sure
you're not just afraid?
I mean, in case
you ask them
for some of that back rent,
maybe two months' worth,
that they might not riot and
burn that roach trap down?
All right, dad.
Let's see how heartless
you can really be.
You're so tough,
right?
You listen to that old
man's poor, pathetic voice
and demand money
from him.
We're going to have
a civilized conversation
about the issues of this
disgusting business venture.
There's got to be
law and order.
Now sit down.
No, I'm not going to
sit down, general, uh...
W-whatever the hell
your name is
with your fruit salad
and everything.
Marge? Will you try and get
Mr. Cumberson to the phone, please?
I'm ...
What?
Oh, no, no!
Are they dead?
Oh, holy shit.
Uh...
Yeah.
Tl be right over.
Son of a...
Hey, did the joint
burn down?
Hey, man...
For your troubles.
Marge?
Hi, sugar.
What happened
to, uh, the...
Well, I... I think
the Cumbersons
got a new lease on
life or something,
and they're gone. They...
The radiators.
Where are the radiators?
You didn't want those
old radiators anyhow.
A junkman can get you
plenty of radiators.
Oh, beautiful.
They took the stove!
That... that...
W-why not?
Why not take
the stove?
Place looks like
a damn tomb.
1 just came out
the can... again.
1 been fighting the man
out here in the streets
since Twas 7.
1 came out the house
and smelled paint.
He's fixing
his place.
He's fixing
his place.
In a place where
there's poor people
sitting out here
in the street.
Ta-da!
Hi.
Uh-uh! No, no, no!
Stay there. Stay there.
I have got
a surprise for you.
Listen, honey,
let me turn this
down a smidgen.
Yeah. Come on,
what you got. there?
How do you like
that?
Oh, yeah!
That's wild,
Recognize anybody?
And 1 got
something else.
It's little,
but kind of special.
I hope you like it.
Oh, gee, hon,
I can't get over everything.
I really can't.
It's like
I told you...
A little paint
and some curtains
and...
Well...
A few thousand
dollars.
And you got yourself
3 real nice place.
Hey, you didn't even
open up my gift.
It's an egg!
That's right.
Uh... could
you tell me
where [ might
find Mr, Enders?
The landlord lives in
the basement, lady.
Hi, mother. How are you?
Come on in,
Elgar, I want this entire poverty
program that you're on dropped.
Uh, mother, you...
No, no. I want you out
of here within the week.
Mother, you will
not walk into my house
and order me about.
And another thing...
Tell that Marge upstairs
I want my charger
plate back.
What charger plate?
Don't you
charger plate me.
That's my drapery
material!
She's outfitted the
entire plantation.
Mother, don't call
this a plantation.
You dumb cluck.
What?
You really aren't
concerned, are you,
that you walked
boldly
into the spinal meningitis
summer festival ball
at which I begged
You...
1 begged you to come
in a costume of a
dead American hero!
Well, Susu came dressed
as Shirley temple.
Susu did not come
as Shirley temple.
She came as
little Eva!
All right. I'm not
going to argue with you.
I'm net going to
argue with you.
Look at you.
Look at you.
Why don't you
cut your hair?
Elgar, you look
like a floozy.
Mother, in about
two seconds,
I'm going to really
lose my temper,
and I'm going to throw
your ass out of here.
0.K., what's the
matter with you now?
Nothing.
Don't pay any attention.
Go right on
with what you were saying.
Mmm.
Joyce, if your heart doesn't
attack you in a few minutes,
Twill.
Attack me?
What... do you mean...
Do you mean
sexually, you pervert?
I'm your mother!
O.K., lady, go on.
Out! Get out!
What have they done
to you?
What have they done
to me?
I'll tell you what they've
done to me, mother.
For one thing, as I'm sure
you've already noticed,
I've run away from home!
I'm 29 years old, and 1
have run away from home.
Doesn't that strike you as
being just a little sick?
You... you...
Elgar Winthrop
Julius Enders,
you no longer
have a mother.
Thanks.
Do you think
the lady
could excuse us for
a minute, landlord?
What for?
What do you want?
Excedrin headache
number one.
I Lay your kinky,
woolly head &
Jon your mammy's breast I}
Aah!
Copee?
Copee,
what are you doing?
Trying to fill out
this application,
go downtown and get some
money for the white landlord.
Copee,
1 got to talk to you.
What?
What's the matter?
What's the matter,
baby?
Ha ha ha ha.
Copee, I'm pregnant.
You're what?
I'm pregnant.
I told you don't
come to me like that.
What is it we can do?
What is it
can we do about it?
You going to have a baby
in how many months?
How many months, baby?
Hmm?
How many months
pregnant are you?
Copee, it ain't
your baby.
What do you mean
it's not my baby?
It just ain't your baby,
honey.
You mean to tell me
that somebody else
has been sleeping
in my bed
while I'm gone?
I'll be Goddamned!
What do you want
to do that for?
Who was it?
Fanny?
Oh, leave me alone!
1 said who was it?
Answer me!
Whose baby is it?
Whose baby is it?
Whose baby is it?
Copee!
Copee!
Aah!
Copee, don't!
You little bitch!
No! Mama! Mama!
Aah!
Someone, help!
Help, somebody!
Fanny!
Copee!
Copee!
Copee!
Copee!
Copee, don't!
Copee, don't!
Aah!
Let me in!
Somebody, let me in!
Come on! Let me in!
Let me in!
Come on!
Open this door!
Open it! Come on!
Let me in! Let me in!
Let me in!
Mom! Dad!
Go back!
Go back,
Walter gee!
Let me in!
Let me in!
Copee, please!
Copee?
Copee?
Copee.
Wait.
Why?
Why?
Why?
Aah!
Hey!
Wait.
My mama.
My mama.
All... all but one...
Had blue eyes.
Yes, I know, Copee.
Uncle Harry
had good hair.
Christ has never known the
horror of nappy hair in America.
Yes, Copee, yes.
It isn't enough
I have just been a Jew.
1 have been
a black Jew.
Hmm?
D-don't...
D-don't let them
transplant my heart
till I'm dead.
No, Copee.
No, I won't.
I won't let them,
uh-uh.
I won't let them.
Hey, boy.
I have a new tenant
for you.
That sounds great.
Thanks.
Bachelor number one,
what's the crummiest thing.
You've ever done
on a date?
I lost my girlfriend.
1 mean...
We went to Disneyland,
and we went on
Mr. Toad's wild ride.
We were going
bumpy bumpy bump.
She bumped
out of the car.
1 picked her up,
though.
Bachelor...
Bachelor number three...
I'm just
going to stay right here.
That's what I should do...
To be with her...
Make sure everything,
you know...
Everything will be O.K.
This is why
you haven't called me?
Yeah,
You know... don't look
at me like that, 0.K.?
Why?
Why what?
Why? Why have you
done all of this?
Because I'm a bastard,
all right?
I love you, Elgar.
Can I help you, sir?
I have lunch money
for Walter gee Copee.
In the basement.
Moving forward.
Lunch punch.
Shift!
Heave!
Charge!
Stepping back.
Shift!
Heave!
Charge!
Shift!
Heave!
Shift!
Free!
Ha ha ha ha ha...
Mr. Copee, your wife and
new son are just fine.
Copee?
Copee?
I don't want to see it.
You don't have
to see him.
I don't want to see it.
Elgar, I love Copee.
I can't take
the baby home to him.
I won't do that to him.
It's not fair, Elgar.
I think you ought to
get some rest, 0.K.?
Then I'll be back.
Would you take
the baby?
I can't.
What am I going
to do with a baby?
Think it would be
all right
if I put it up
for adoption?
1 guess so.
Well...
That's what
I'm going to do.
I want one thing,
though.
What's that?
I want him adopted
as white.
0.k
Why?
'Cause I want him
to grow up casual,
like his daddy.
Come in.
Mr. Enders?
I want to pay you
your rent.
All rent is to be paid
to Mr. and Mrs. Copes
from now on.
Really?
That's right.
Reminds me of the man
who put a black family
in to work a store..,
Fool the neighbors.
1 gave this house
to Mrs. Copee
because [ don't need it.
Did she need another
baby, too, Mr. Enders?
You're an evil
son of 2 bitch.
However, evil as I am,
I'll put this rent
under the Copees" door.
No school today,
professor Duboise?
Yes, there's school
today, Mr. Enders,
however,
I won't invite you
to come and audit
a class.
1 dare you.
Would you find yourself a
seat, please, Mr. Enders?
Mr. Enders,
over there,
We've all had
our breakfast today,
50 you'll be
comparatively safe.
Now... Laura Anne...
Define
relative knowledge.
The principle
that knowledge is related,
relative to the limited
nature of the mind
and conditions of knowing
and, therefore, not true to the
nature of independent reality.
Gene...
What is a triangle?
A figure
formed by three lines,
intersecting by twos
in three points
and so forming
three angles.
Al right.
Ernest,
law and order.
White police,
soldiers, guns,
mace, obeying
the white establishment.
Now, children,
how do we live?
Elgar?
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
James.
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
Malcolm,
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
Louise.
Tam black,
and 1 am beautiful.
Mr. Enders...
See, ladies and gentlemen,
some people can't learn
what we learn,
♪ Cause they can't stop 7
I 'what men do !
I and that's why, lord
J I call on you s
I they don't even know J
J they don't know
how to sin &
J these are troubled times &
I that we're livin' in #
J yes, sir !
7 when bombs fall
¥ children cry &
J and, yes, lord
T some will die &
2 and that's why
I got to say &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
I God
I bless the children
I God
I bless the children
J teach us how to love &
7 like never before ;
J and may we
never, never, never J
7 study war no more &
J talk to the heart 7
7 of the men who need it /
7 and make them understand ;
J right now, lord... 7
Lanie!
Lanie!
Lanie!
Lanie!
J lord
J lord &
J lord &
J lord &
J lord... &
Lanie!
Lanie!
7 Bless the children »
I God #
I bless the children
# so many times... J
Lanie!
Come on down!
I We got trouble 7
J it won't last,
no way... /
You shut your ass!
7 I'm not sayin' §
I that this thing is wrong ¢
J but I'm wonderin'
right now
I how come
it's gotten bad so long? J
1 To see a newborn baby &
Jin some
proud mother's arms [
7 then you think
of all the countries &
I that now have a gun 7
I and you
just got to say &
J lord &
J lord &
Come on!
J lord
J lord &
I God
I bless the children
I mmm7'
I God
I bless the children
J say it
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I God
I bless the children
♪ say it one more time &
J God... #