The Inbetweeners (2008) - full transcript

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hey!

Very nice!

Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and this is
The Inbetweeners Fwends Reunited.

Ah, friend.

LAUGHTER

We're going to be celebrating ten
years of Will, Simon, Jay and Neil.

The Inbetweeners was famous
for its offensive jokes,

rude language and juvenile
sense of humour.

Naturally, I'm a massive fan.

I've watched everything
they've ever done,



and if I've learned one thing,
I'd be very surprised.

Join me as we spend the next
two hours balls-deep in nostalgia

and clunge.

Tonight, all four of the boys are
back, along with the celebrity fans,

some of our favourite supporting
cast members,

and Greg Davies.

And we've got exclusive,
unseen footage.

The first ever Inbetweeners Awards,
and at the end of the show,

we'll be crowning the best-ever
Inbetweeners moment

as voted for by you,
the fans of the show.

All that, and one lucky superfan
is going to be winning

their very own yellow Fiat.

Check out the Clunge Mobile.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE



Oh, yeah!

But before all that,
let's remind ourselves

why we love The Inbetweeners
so much.

MOCKING LAUGHTER

Come on, guys!

Look what you've done.

Christ, I've only had it a day!

You're in the shit.

Feisty one, you are.

Oh, friend. Friend!

See you later, friend.

Shit!

Ooh, fuck.

APPLAUSE

So, without further ado -

they were too old to play
teenagers ten years ago.

God only knows what they
look like now.

Please welcome the four most famous
virgins in the country,

the original Undateables,
Simon Bird, James Buckley,

Joe Thomas and Blake Harrison.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Amazing.

Of course.

Good to see you.

All right? Good to see you.

Come on in. Sit down.
How are you?

Good to see you.

Thanks for being here.
God bless you.

You all right, Blake? OK, thanks.

Come on in.

Cheers.

I love the show,

but I'm, like everyone else that
watches the show,

I realise you're actors.

Like, you're real people in the real
world, but I get confused.

So, I made you stickers.

OK.

So, I've got that for you. OK.

That's... That's, uh...

James, not Jay. OK. Yeah.

Do you want me to put this on?
Yeah. Genuinely, yeah.

Because otherwise the whole show
will be shit.

Simon, not Will.

Simon not Will. Simon not Will.
Thanks. There you go.

I've got Jimmy, not Alan.

Nice!

I love it. So, it's been ten years.

When did you first realise it
was going to be a hit?

Because obviously, there's not many
shows that you do, like,

a ten-year anniversary of.
It's been a huge cultural hit.

I think it was when I got a call
asking if we wanted to do a

ten-year anniversary
that I realised it was...

I know after the first series,

you had to go back to work,
didn't you? Yeah.

Big time. Yeah. What did you do,
Simon?

I was a student. Me and Joe lived
together.

Joe was tutoring. I was doing a PhD.

And you guys are, uh...?

You two knew each other before.

And what was it like being
thrown together?

You hadn't met before the show,
right? No.

No, I think I was cast last,
as well.

I think I auditioned about, like,

a week before rehearsals.

So, you nearly didn't go to
the audition, right? Yeah.

I'd done three days of training
at this call centre,

and got the audition
through Spotlight,

and I phoned my mum and I was, like,
"Oh, I've got no money."

And she wasn't going to help me out.

And you know, I do two more days
of this call centre stuff,

then I'll start getting paid
and do the call centre.

You had to complete the training.

And she was, like, "Well,
you've just done drama school.

"You're an actor.
Go to the audition."

I went, "Oh, all right, then."

Went to the audition and did not
do the call centre.

So, there you go. Any regrets?

Obviously. Three of them, yeah.

Well, in the audience tonight
we've got the supporting cast
from the show.

Emily Head is here, I believe,
with her father, Anthony Head.

Very nice to have you here.

APPLAUSE

Anthony, you're an incredibly
handsome, brilliant actor.

How did you get cast as Will's dad?

My daughter pulled strings.

She pulled more than that.

EMILY: What?!

Belinda Stewart-Wilson's here,
aka Will's fit mum.

AUDIENCE WHOOPS

APPLAUSE

Hi.

What was the most difficult thing
about working on The Inbetweeners?

I found sitting in the
read-throughs,

in front of many, many, many people

and listening to four
age-inappropriate boys

talking with unswerving
regularity about my vagina.

It was uncomfortable.

What can I say? Your vagina?

Well. That goes without saying.

That's not what I've heard.

So, Iain and Damon,
the creators of the show.

I think Damon's here.
What was it like working with them?

They were not like
authority figures at all.

Did they ever tell...
I believe they told you off a bit.

I tried to tell on James to them.
Oh, yeah.

I was getting this thing wrong
over and over again,

and we got to take ten and just
before they called, "Action,"

James went, "Oh, double figures."

It is good to get over the line.

I was, like, "You're so selfish."

I just can't fathom the selfishness
of just doing a joke

when it's actually ruining
our own show.

On a comedy show.

And they said, "What was it?"

And I was, like,
"Oh, it's double figures."

And they were, like,
"Oh, that's very funny."

On the four of you working,
who was the least professional?

I was going to say everyone
apart from Blake but, yeah,

it was James, actually.
It was definitely James, yeah.

He'd never learn... Go on.

..his lines.

Yeah.

And never rehearsed. One rehearsal
week, for the second film,

and the whole rehearsal week was
just a week-long argument

about whether or not we should
be rehearsing.

There was just this argument
just going on.

Like, that was the week.
To be fair...

Like a really unproductive
summit about whether to rehearse.

It wasn't unproductive, mate.

We got you into that suitcase,
didn't we?

You did, actually. It's always
about trying to fit Joe into stuff.

It was productive - I did
successfully get in the suitcase.

We did get you in the suitcase,
didn't we? That's true, yeah.

Are you normal?

Well, there's a question.

I think we've got a clip.

So, this is you being
stuffed in a bag. That's me.

That's Damo there, overseeing it.

That's Iain. Iain.

I'm totally compliant!

APPLAUSE

That was Iain and Damon as well,

who was encouraging us
to behave that way.

So, Iain and Damon then
directed the second film.

I remember one of the rehearsal days
for the second film was the day...

One of the rehearsals was the scene
where we're sat by the car

and it looks like...
Get in that.

To be fair, that's ideal.
This is huge, mate.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

This isn't even fun.
Just get in there, mate.

Get it over with. Get down.

Why? Why is he doing it?

Why is he doing it?

He could have said no.

He could so easily have said no.

ENCOURAGING CHEERS

Go on, get it zipped up.

You've put on weight a bit, Thomas.

Those ten years have not been kind.

That's not going. I'm disappointed.

You've ruined everything.

All these people.

Say sorry to everyone, Joe.

I'm sorry.

APPLAUSE

I love the show, but there's moments
in it that are just,

even when you're watching it on your
own, it's kind of cringey.

The embarrassment of those
teenage years,

and I think that's why everyone
relates to it.

What did your parents make of it
when they watched it?

I only watched it with them once,
and it was me being wanked off.

I don't know what I thought was
going to happen.

"Oh, maybe this'll be
the episode where..."

And you was doing that while you
were watching it?

Greg Davies is here.

APPLAUSE

Hello. Mr Gilbert.

Hi, Jimmy. Lovely to have you here.

Lovely to be here.

LAUGHTER

Wow. You are quite the actor.

Now, you played Mr Gilbert.

Obviously, the brilliant teacher.

You were a teacher in real life.

How close was it to your
teaching technique?

Gilbert is a psychopath.

I had all the instincts
that Gilbert had,

but it's illegal to act on them
the way that he did.

I mean, I hate children.

I mean, deep within my soul.

Was there anyone as bad as Will?

I mean, you really took
an instant dislike.

Yeah. Well, Simon and I, there
was an instant animosity between us,

you know, when we met,

so channelling that white-hot hatred
became barely acting.

I feel this overwhelming aggression.

Just with the slightest green light,
I could windmill into him now.

I can't even look at him.

I can't even look at his stupid
little face now.

You going to let him get away
with that?

That's all right.
I'll handle him later.

Don't worry about that.

I'll fuck you up, Bird.

I'll fuck you up.

Fuck away...

I mean it, Jimmy. I'll destroy him.

I mean...

Like you destroyed his mum at the
end of the second film.

Right. At the end of the night,
we'll be revealing the best

Inbetweeners moment ever, as voted
for by you, the fans of the show.

Although I won't lie -

the last time the public were
given an important vote,

they fucked it right up.

But there's one thing every two-hour
celebration

of a beloved TV show needs - filler.

And tonight, we're picking up
the slack with our very own

Inbetweeners' Awards.

The first award is
Best Bodily Malfunction.

Here to present it, it's star of
Fresh Meat, Zawe Ashton.

APPLAUSE

Hey, Zawe.
How are you? Good to see you.

Hi. How are you? I'm very well.

Now, you starred with Joe in
Fresh Meat where he plays,

like, a nerdy virgin.

Is it acting, though?

I don't know, to this day, really,

if it was 100% a craft or
whether it was just... Yeah.

You're here to present
this beautiful award,

some expense spared there, I think.

The award for
Best Bodily Malfunction.

Let's take a look
at the nominations.

VOICEOVER: Best Bodily Malfunction.

I'm really sorry.

I think maybe I ate something.

Could we maybe sit down and
talk about us,

and have you got any Nurofen,
it's just...

Oh, dear.

STOMACH GURGLES

Oh, God, no.

Phil?

BOWELS BURBLE AND CREAK

Phil?

SQUELCHING SOUNDS

Oh, no.

Phil?

Oh, Jesus.

I thought it was a fart, sir.

I thought it was safe.

Sorry, Si. I got no more piss.

That's all right, mate.

Thanks for trying.

Hang on. There was that bit.

Hello. Who's that?

Oh, God!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry, love.

I've seen it all before.

They're all good.

Oh, I hope it's piss in face.

Hope it's piss in face.

Go on, tell us who the winner is.

And the winner of Best Bodily
Malfunction is...

..Simon's sick.

APPLAUSE

Emily Head and Joe Thomas, please.

Um, I guess, really,
just my parents.

Um, thank you.

Um...

And all those people who maybe
I've seen vomit.

Um... Uh...

And I think I've taken something
from each and every one of you,

and this makes it all worthwhile.

So, thank you.

But there was someone who stood
there and got vomited on,

and I really think that this
award belongs to him.

I think that's very fair. Yeah.

I believe he's here tonight.
Carli's little brother.

It's Deo Simcox. Come on up.

APPLAUSE

Hello.

How, are you? Good, thank you.

Sir, you know what? Grab the award.

You deserve that.

Also, thanks for coming
as a miniature version of me.

LAUGHTER

I haven't really grown much since
then, really, to be honest.

So, you're the ideal height
to get sick on.

I might try now.

Well, round of applause.

Best Bodily Malfunction.

Thank you very much.

Well done.

Thank you very much. Right.

Now it's time for a trip down
Memory Lane,

so we asked four men to drive a car
none of them ever actually owned

to a school none of them went to

in an attempt to conjure up
some memories

of a fake adolescence
they never experienced.

Sounds great.
Let's see how they got on.

Hello. All right? All right?

Yay.

What are we doing?

Here we are.

So, where are we going?

We're going to the school.

You know, the school where we filmed
series one and series two
of The Inbetweeners.

Just four men in their 30s
going off to a school. Four men.

There's nothing wrong with that.
It's fine.

Oh, yeah, I had to get
this moustache cleared

before they let me
anywhere near the school.

Yeah, yeah.

I haven't driven a manual in ages.

Whoa, whoa. Brake,
brake, brake, brake!

That's quite good.

There's a bit in The Inbetweeners
where you do your driving test.

There is, yeah.

They had to add it to the
Thorpe Park episode.

That was the first week, wasn't it?
Week one.

CAR BUMPS OVER POTHOLE

Fuck! Jesus, Joe.

No-one knew what
The Inbetweeners was.

We didn't know what
The Inbetweeners was.

Wasn't called The Inbetweeners.

It was called Baggy Trousers. Yeah.

Shall we talk about some of the
other names that it might
have been called?

Dickheads. Dickheads.

Desperadoes.

One, Two, Three, Four, I think,
was... One, Two, Three, Four! Yes!

Legends.

No-one knew who we were,
and so there was these guys

making a TV show and Blake walking
around in Speedos.

Yeah, that was the worst.

One of the worst days
of my life, mate.

Someone just shouting out,
"What is that?"

Not, "Who is that?"
but, "What is that?" at me,

walking around in red Speedos?

That is the one thing I had
forgotten about The Inbetweeners,

is The Tired. The tiredness,
and also the coldness.

Tired and cold. Tired and cold!

Just kept filming it
during the winter.

And we were outside all the time.

On lakes, on rivers.

We were constantly in water.
At the seaside.

Why am I always in water?

Where's my costume?

Why haven't I got
any clothes to wear?!

"Now, if you can bob back under,
Joe, that would be great."

"I'm drowning."

"OK, just bob under. We haven't got
the shot, Joe. Just bob under."

"I'm drowning."

"Are you going to
use that shot?" "No."

SOMEONE FARTS

James! Fucking hell.

Oh, that is bad. That's disgusting.

That is so bad.

What about this - I have to open
my window cos yours doesn't work,

so it just blows even more past
my nose and mouth.

That stinks!

It's tradition.
What a wonderful tradition.

There's a bus there.
We could do a...

Oh, yeah. We could re-enact.

Some of the famous catchphrases.
Famous catchphrases.

Friend!

Ah, wanker buses.

Show him the lines that you stashed,
James, from the old days.

Are they in here? I doubt it.

They can't be. They're in your head
rest, in there. No way!

They can't be. Honestly, in your
head rest, there are some lines.

That's amazing. Fucking hell!

The camping trip.

Shall we do it? Shit!

Whoa. Oh, my God.

Sorry, mate. My head's a mess.

What if I have to go to the birth?

Can you imagine how grim that'll be,

watching that baby getting
squeezed out of her arse?

I imagine it's me?

Oh, Neil!

Right, it wasn't news, Neil.

I can't believe that fucking
script is there. That's amazing.

I'm going to keep that in there.
That's incredible.

Where, are we? School. Good.

Here we are.

TYRES SCREECH

Joe, I just took my seat belt off.

Oh, we made it.

Yeah, we made it.

Oh, I can't believe we survived.

OK. That's gone well.

Here we are. Here we are, then.

Oh, the boys are back.

Fashion show was in here. Yeah.

That was probably the day I wished
I was in work the most,

just to see Joe walking around
with his ball out.

You can see it whenever you want.

The people in the audience
didn't know what was going on,

and the first take the camera was on
them to get real reactions.

Yeah, to get real reaction.
What it was like to see...

Let me tell you,
they weren't laughing.

They looked sort of cross. Yeah.

Mortified? Angry.

The wedgie corridor.

Anybody want to do a wedgie?
Yeah, I'll do it.

I'll give you a little wedgie.

Fucking come on then.

I like it! They fit.

It's a weird thing to do, I think.

The exam hall. That's where
you shit yourself.

The scene of my greatest triumph.

Yeah, I probably shit myself
about...

Probably about here, I imagine.

I'd been up all night.

Did you get method and kind of
do that for real?

No.

And we kept working after the first
series as well, didn't we?

Yeah.

I worked at Madame Tussauds between
the first and second series.

I was working at Madame Tussauds
in the Scare Chamber.

You were fitting kitchens.

It was really good.

I remember turning up to Howdens
to pick up a kitchen for a client,

and The Inbetweeners had been
on the night before,

and some bloke was just, like,
"You're off the telly."

I was, like, "Yeah."

"What're you doing here?"

I went, "Picking up a kitchen
for someone."

Oh, it's weird, innit?
It's mad, innit?

It felt so much bigger back then.

Do you think kids think,

"Oh, this was where they shot
The Inbetweeners"?

There should be a little
blue plaque, really.

There should definitely be
a blue plaque.

APPLAUSE

My favourite scene was

when everybody was talking about
banging Will's mum.

She's fit.

And they ask Will,
"If your mum wasn't your mum,

"would you bang her?"

Well, if she's my mum, no.

But if she wasn't?

I like it when Neil is wondering

whether or not pesto is food
for humans.

What's this pesto? Is it for humans?
No, it's for extra-terrestrials.

That's why we keep it in the fridge.

Jay has it into his head that one of
the women that works

in the ice cream stall

is known for doing naughty things.

Do you wanna lick it? Sorry?

My Cornetto. Do you wanna lick it?

Poor Will, in the loo,
with Jay's dad.

Mr Cartwright,
you seem to be splashing me a bit.

Jay's dad is just so awful.

Better out than in.

I'm going to go now, then.

Welcome back to Friends Reunited,

a ten-year anniversary special
celebrating all things Inbetweeners.

APPLAUSE

I tell you what?
Jessica Knappett's here.

Hi, Jessica. How, are you?

Now, you were in the movie, right?
I was.

And you were Blake's hot piece
in the movie?

That's how I like to be described,
yeah.

That's what's on my CV.

Have you got a question
for the boys?

You guys famously danced towards us
in the movie, which was hot.

LAUGHTER

What is the worst chat-up line that
you guys have ever delivered?

Have you seen The Inbetweeners?

That is the only way
you're getting laid.

I once said to a girl at university,

"Before I met you,
all I could think about was history.

"Now all I can think about is you."

OK.

What was the worst thing you saw
on a script and went,

"Oh, I've got to say that
to another human being"?

The worst thing I had to do,
I can't remember any lines,

but I had to throw a Frisbee in
a disabled girl's face.

I mean, the reality of that,
in TV terms, is, we did, like,

a wide shot where I threw a Frisbee,
but then there's a close-up

where the girl has to be hit
in the face with a Frisbee,

and I remember there was a props man
standing on a ladder with a stack

of 10 or 15 Frisbees, and Frisbees
are quite hard, and just

whacking them in this girl's face,
to make sure they got the shot.

And I remember standing there
watching that and thinking,

"This feels like a low point."

But you had to say some horrible
stuff to an old lady.

Yeah, I had to ask a sweet old lady
if she would suck me off.

What about in the show?
Yeah, in the show.

Now, The Inbetweeners were famously
bad with the opposite sex,

and to demonstrate that,

we've invited a collection of their
failed romances.

Let's meet them.

Hi.

Now, The Inbetweeners was a
masterclass in how to treat

and talk to women. Oh, definitely.
Am I right, love?

Totally.

Were there any on-set romances?

Definitely not for me.

OK.

Snog, marry, avoid, kill.

Can I marry Blake?

Blake is one of my favourite
people in the world.

They're all gonna go for Blake.

What? To kill and marry and...?

OK. So, you'd marry Blake? Yeah.

Sorry to his actual wife, but yes.
That's all right.

They're good friends, so it's fine.
They're good friends? Oh, friends.

Yeah.

AS BLAKE: Oh, Blake's wife's friend.

Well done.

OK. If you had to shag one of those.

Blake. Blake as well?

OK. Now it's time for our
next award,

Most Romantic Moment,
and here to present it,

taking a break from his
busy schedule,

sitting by the phone waiting for it
to ring, it's Peter Andre.

Hi, guys.

Which one of The Inbetweeners
boys do you most relate to?

Probably Simon, and I'd say it's
because I thought I was cool,

and I wasn't, at school.

I was Greek, I had curly hair,
I had an English accent.

I was living in Australia,
so it's different times.

And then these guys went to
Australia and took my car with them.

Oh, yeah. You're in the second
movie.

Did you know you were gonna be in
the movie? No, and here's the thing.

Look at that. Yeah. Brilliant. Oh.

So, do you know what happened,
right?

So, these people rang me and said,
"You're not gonna believe this.

"You're in The Inbetweeners 2
movie," so I was, like,

"That's amazing," and then I saw it
and I went, "Oh, yeah.

"Why didn't they take me with them?

"I would have loved to have
gone and done that."

Right. Awards.
What award are you presenting?

I am presenting the Most Romantic
Moment and here are the nominations.

Yeah.

# And the first time ever I
kissed your mouth

# I felt your heart so
close to mine... #

Why don't you start?

Every time I don't want one,
it's there,

and yet the one time I actually
need it, nothing.

OK, you're scaring me now.
Just work, you stupid fucking thing.

Get big. Get big. Simon...

Why aren't you doing it? Do it!

Get big.

Oh, please, just work!

Oh, yeah.

Tell me you love me.

Tell me you love me.

Oh, yes, I love you.

Get out.

I'm... just looking at holidays.

It's just holidays!

God. We're off. Right.

Won't be a minute.
I'll just finish up here.

What about...? She won't mind.
We're not kissing.

Nah, it's just fingers,
in't it, luvvie?

Right. Yeah, I'll catch you lot up.
One second.

He's definitely picked up the pace.

APPLAUSE

The Most Romantic Moment winner
is...

..Will singing. It was brilliant.

Come on, Will.

Thanks very much. Well done.

Thank you very much.

Please. Cheers.
Well, what an honour.

This is for every child out
there with a dream.

Maybe one day you can devise a
scenario in which you get

given awards by an
Australian muscle man.

Um... Thank you very much.
Cheers.

I've got a question.

For that scene, you learned to play
the guitar, right?

That's right, yeah. And you learned
a song on the guitar?

I did, yeah.
What song did you learn?

I learned You're Beautiful
by James Blunt, because that's

what we thought the song would be.

Then James Blunt didn't give us
the rights to use it,

so I spent three months learning
guitar and playing

You're Beautiful on loop,
having that rattling around my head,

which is great because, thankfully,
it's such a fucking good song.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Will the singer.

And Peter Andre.

Peter, thank you so much.
Thanks.

Right.

Stonehenge, the Bayeux Tapestry,
Inbetweeners series one to three,

all cultural legacies that have
helped define our national identity.

But how did The Inbetweeners get
started? Let's take a look.

It's hard to imagine now,
but there was a time when Britain

didn't know what the word
"clunge" meant.

There was a time when no TV show had
ever featured a fish being

punched to death in a rowing boat,
and, yes, there was a time

when the word "bus" had never been
paired with the word "wankers".

So, how did this cultural
masterpiece come into existence?

I'm Neil Oliver, archaeologist,

historian and part-time Loki
lookalike.

A Loki-like.

I want to take you back to
a bygone era.

It's the first day of May 2008.

Nickelback are riding high
in the charts.

GRINDR is just another tool for a
workman,

and ADELE is just
a type of computer.

On a digital channel called E4,
a new sitcom is launching.

It's called The Inbetweeners.

Bus wankers!

Briefcase wanker.

Oh, friend. Fuck you lot.
Where's the beer?

The show's writers and creators,
Iain Morris and Damon Beesley,

are often mentioned in the same
sentence as Shakespeare.

The Inbetweeners was THEIR
magnum opus.

Damon and I were living together and
we talked a lot about sitcoms

we loved, like Alan Partridge,
and The Office and Fawlty Towers,

and we were like, "Imagine if, one
day,

"we could write our own sitcom."

We just gathered up all the funny
stories that we had about,

you know, childhood, our friends,

things that had happened to us and
were continuing to happen to us,

and it felt like that would be the
perfect sort of delivery vehicle.

That would be, like, the four boys,
you know, at that age,

doing sixth form,
not yet men, you know,

in the eyes of the world,
but actually, technically, adults.

And it gave rise to Damon and Iain's
teen opus Baggy Trousers, originally

set in the 1980s, and soundtracked
by such bands as the Happy Mondays,

who are kind of like an all-male
Mancunian version of Little Mix.

You can stick our music on anything
as long as it pays.

I don't give a fuck.

After many drafts, E4 commissioned a
pilot which featured a

different set of lead actors,
with one exception.

James Buckley.

I wasn't always Jay.
I was originally cast as Neil.

No, your mum's so fit, Will,
I reckon she could be a prostitute.

My Neil would have been
better than Blake's.

The proof is out there.

I'm not being funny, like,

a high-class one that comes
in a limousine.

But apparently the pilot is so bad
that human eyes aren't

allowed to see it.

The channel commissioned a series,

but wanted it in a contemporary
setting with a new cast.

Undeterred, James Buckley
re-auditioned.

When we shot the pilot,
things didn't quite work,

but one thing that did happen was
that we found Buckley, off camera,

just incredibly funny
and annoying and a wind-up.

I was, like,
"Is he lying about that?

"It sounds like he's bullshitting."

I think we all realised he'd been
tragically miscast and that

he could potentially have
been a Jay.

On holiday in Spain one year,

me and my mate took a pedalo out
and we went to Africa.

I can show you a DVD of me
leaping over five lorries

on Blue Peter, if you like.

Private poker tournament with
Danny Dyer and the Krays.

Aren't the Krays dead? No.

That's just a cover story
cos they done a bunk from prison.

Damon went, "We should get him to
read for Jay, shouldn't we?"

and I was, like, "We definitely
should." He denies it vehemently,

but there's definitely a fair slice
of Jay in James Buckley.

The thing is, I probably could have
done any of the parts

but I can only play one.

The further castings for the series
were rigorous and extensive.

Yeah. I mean, it should be on record
that Iain and Damon definitely

didn't want me to be in the show.

I mean, they made that very clear
on several occasions.

They said I was too old.

True.

They said I was too camp.

Also true, to be fair.

Simon Bird was eventually cast,

but Iain and Damon did reject
Matt Smith, aka Doctor Who.

Twats.

Neil became the last part
that we cast,

and it was almost the last day.

I think it was the last session.

And Blake walked in and was just
Neil, like immediately.

At that point, you're a bit like,
"OK, the band is complete.

"We've got 'em now."

With the cast finally in place and
director Gordon Anderson on board,

the world would soon have
its first glimpse of

The Inbetweeners we all
know and love.

Inside these ancient manuscripts are
the first reviews of the show.

This one is the Radio Times.

Way back then, it was like the
Sky EPG but printed on paper.

It reads, "The writers are in their
30s

"and the cast blatantly in
their 20s.

"Nothing rings true, and there are
few proper jokes." Wow.

Sick burn.

But all E4 cared about were the
viewing figures, which is a shame,

because they were terrible, too.

In one tragic week, the show was
beaten in the ratings by

low-budget reality show spin-off
Big Brother Audition Tapes,

and it wasn't even a good
series of Big Brother.

It was the crap one, with Lisa and
Mario and someone called Darnell.

Dude, I'm Darnell from that
series of Big Brother,

and even I don't remember it.

With the critics labelling the show
puerile, and ratings low,

would this spell the end of
The Inbetweeners?

Well, obviously not, because this is
part of the tenth anniversary show,

but, you know,
trying to end on a cliff-hanger.

Clunge - noun, Positive.

The clunge is a sumptuous part of
the female reproductive anatomy.

While the desire to plunge a clunge
is lyrically pleasing,

there is a negative correlation
between someone's usage of the word

and their likelihood
of ever seeing one.

APPLAUSE

Welcome back to
The Inbetweeners: Fwends Reunited,

our celebration of
the most puerile show on TV,

you gaylord bumders.

We all had that special teacher
who changed our lives.

Mine was Mr Kennedy.
Mr Kennedy taught me so much.

He taught me Geography, sure,

but he also taught me
to stand up for myself.

He taught me to find my place in the
world, and perhaps most importantly,

he taught me,
"Don't neglect the balls."

Ever wondered what
The Inbetweeners would look like

if the boys had transitioned
and moved to Ireland?

Well, Channel 4 did, and here
to present the Best Teacher award,

it's Derry Girls.

APPLAUSE

Hello. Hi, the Derry Girls.

Very nice to see you.

Are you fans of The Inbetweeners?

Of course. We are the superfans
you announced earlier. It's us.

Yeah.

Right, so
which award are you presenting?

Best Teacher.
A lot of competition for this one.

We have no idea which Greg is
gonna win it, so it's... yeah.

I suppose we should probably have
a look at the nominees. Yeah.

So, if you do find yourself
at a loose end next year

and think it might be nice to pop in
and see how we're getting on,

don't. This isn't The Dead Poets'
Society and I'm not that bloke

on BBC TWO who keeps
getting kids to sing in choirs.

I assure you that once my legal
obligation to look after your

best interests is removed,
I can be one truly nasty fucker.

As I'm sure you're aware,
there's been a spate of vandalism

recently, culminating in someone
adapting the flower display

by the main road so that

it now reads, "We come tit village".

HE STIFLES A LAUGH

Oh, you think that's funny,
do you, McKenzie? Well, a bit.

Doesn't even make sense.

"We come tit village"?
What kind of morons would do that?

I think you know exactly who did it.
What?

And if you don't tell me who did it,
in my role as your UCAS referee,

I will fuck your application up.

He had to walk back through
the town centre,

sopping wet and barely clothed,
Mr Gilbert.

Ha!

I'd hoped you'd take this more
seriously. He wrote to the paper

especially to get work experience

and instead, I'm picking frog spawn
out of his underpants.

Would you excuse me just
for a second?

HE CACKLES

Ohhh!

And who have we under here?

McKenzie, sir.

Oh, let me guess.
No-one saw how this happened.

I suppose you tripped.

No, sir. What happened is...
Sorry, McKenzie.

You're not about to grass, are you?

But sir, if no-one reported crimes,

the justice system would
collapse and... I'll ask you again.

How did this happen?

I tripped.

Tsk! Clumsy.

APPLAUSE

OK. And the winner is...

Dramatic pause.

..Mr Gilbert!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello. Hello.

Wonderful speech that
you've prepared. Yeah, I have.

I've actually written one because
I had a good feeling about this.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Thank you.

I'd like to dedicate this award to
all the children I taught

in real life when I was a teacher.

The Inbetweeners, for me,

was the big break I needed
to leave you all behind.

I'd love to tell you that
I look back fondly on those years,

but I don't. It was a living hell.

But just because I've moved on,

don't think that I don't monitor
your lives on social media.

I genuinely do.

Where, for example,
are you now, Gary Simmons?

You were pretty damn cocky
in my classroom, weren't you?

And now, thanks to Facebook,

I know that you are
a divorced father of two,

and that after 20 years,

you're still working in
your dad's fucking shop.

APPLAUSE

Greg Davies, everyone.
Give him a round of applause.

Nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed it.

And the Derry Girls,
give them a round of applause.

Thank you so much. God love you.

The Derry Girls.

I love the fact
one of the Derry Girls is a boy

and we never reference it.

Please tell me that's
the genuine, genuine name.

No. His real name's BLEEP.

Of course, there are other
Inbetweeners' teachers in the room.

Amanda St John, you played
the fit biology teacher, Miss Timbs.

I did, yes. Fantastic.

And we've also got Waen Shepherd,
aka "Paedo" Kennedy here.

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Shall we treat ourselves to a little
look at "Paedo" Kennedy in action?

Hello? It's only me, boys.

Just on my way to bed.

Thought I'd check how you are.

Ooh, swimming's tiring.

Are your legs tired?

I think they're OK.

Yes.

Quick massage before bedtime.

Ahh, tired legs.

Ooh.

Come on, John. Oh.

Rub down to shift the lactic acid?

Not now, John. Oh.

APPLAUSE

Can I ask, was it typecasting?

Yep, pretty much.

I know it must have been difficult
because you're not a real... teacher.

But obviously, for legal reasons,

we have to say
you are not a paedophile,

but if you had to fuck
one of the boys?

Nah, sorry.
They're all too old for me now.

Come on. "Paedo" Kennedy!

Ladies and gentlemen, please give
it up for Waen Shepherd. Fabulous.

I think the most Inbetweener thing
that's happened to me was...

..all my mates were
trying to get into this club

and I had this ID that wasn't mine.

You know this is an Australian
driving licence? Yep.

The bouncer looked at me,

looked at the ID and was like,

"Spell your name."

And I couldn't.

So you're Australian.

That's right, mate.

A friend, I can't even name him,
but he took his mum and dad's car

and we went out in it,
and he, like, slightly crashed it.

Rather than just driving it home
with a slight dent in the car,

we burnt the car.

Oh, no!

There was a guy in our school
who did a shit in the showers.

GURGLING

Oh, no.

We always said, "You shit yourself,"
and he said, "It was sand."

And it wasn't. It was shit.

I thought it was a fart, sir.

I thought it was safe.

Ever since The Inbetweeners hit
our screens ten years ago,

it spawned a legion of devoted fans
and we've scoured the land

and found four of
the most obsessive superfans.

Let's meet them.

We've got Matt.

Matt, take the bucket off your head.

That's Matt. He's a superfan.

We've got Paul.

APPLAUSE

Paul, take the bucket off your head.

We've got Jason.

Hi.

APPLAUSE

And we've got Rachel.

Pop your buckets down.

Right. OK. Matt, how big
a fan of The Inbetweeners, are you?

Huge, huge.

Maybe top 2%, 1%?

I'm bingeing it
three, four times a year,

and it makes me feel normal,
which is great.

Aw! You're adorable.

What's your Inbetweeners
claim to fame?

So, a few years ago, at our
university summer ball, me and a few

friends dressed as The Inbetweeners
and I was Will, and we made the car

as well, out of cardboard, and drove
it through the streets of Cardiff.

I think we've got clips of the car.

Yes! Whoa!

Yes, go!

APPLAUSE

Simon, were you impressed
by your superfan?

I'm very impressed, yeah.

Keep it up? I don't know.

Well, next up, we've got Paul.
Paul, how big a fan are you?

Massive fan. I've watched
the show that many times,

I've had to replace the DVDs twice.

I went to see the first film twice
in one day and then

another few times after that.

Just can't get enough, really.

Wow. This is nice, Joe.

You're meeting the man who's
clearly going to murder you.

Yeah. No, it'd be a great honour.

What's your Inbetweeners
claim to fame?

It was my now wife's 21st birthday.

I needed something
a bit more special.

I mean, I was gonna propose anyway,

but something a bit
different as well.

So, I hunted their agents down,

sent them a nice, grovelling letter
saying, "Sign this card," basically,

"Send her a birthday card
home for her 21st.".

And did they all sign the card?

It's funny you should ask.

The one question
that always gets asked is,

"There's four Inbetweeners
and you've got three cards.".

So, who didn't sign the card?

LAUGHTER

I didn't sign the birthday card.

Apparently. I'm really sorry!

Come on. Shall we crack on?

Yeah. He's not like
his character, is he?

So, Jason. How big a fan of
the Inbetweeners, are you?

You've had reconstructive surgery.

I'm a massive fan.
All right, mate. All right, mate.

From literally the first episode,
I found it hilarious.

It was always gonna be a classic
and obviously, having a little bit

of a resemblance to one of the main
characters was a bit of a bonus.

Can we get you to, sort of,
turn to each other, Abba-style,

and look at each other,
just to see how similar the...?

Oh, wow.

APPLAUSE

OK, pretty good.

Well, we come to Rachel.
Hi, Rachel. How, are you?

Hi. I'm good, thank you.

How big a fan of
The Inbetweeners are you?

Well, I'm that big a fan that...

I don't look like them,
but I had a tattoo done.

You've had a tattoo done? Yeah.

Do you want to
see? Yeah. 100%, let's see.

Ooh.

What? No!

No!

I'm sorry. Is that genuinely real?
Yes, genuinely real.

APPLAUSE

Oh, Jesus!

His face and the word clunge!

It's really good.

Can we get that expression?

Let's get that expression.

APPLAUSE

Here are our Inbetweeners superfans.
Give them all a round of applause.

Amazing.

And after the break, our superfans
will be competing to win this.

HORN HONKS

You could be driving home
in a state-of-the-art

Fiat Cinquecento, Hawaii edition.

Really? Really?!

Yes, really. With top
speeds of more than 85mph...

99...

BOTH: 100mph!

..this super little runaround
is packed with brilliant extras

like hand-powered
retractable windows...

Bus wankers!

..all the latest mod cons...

Oh, Christ, it's got a tape deck.

..and seating for five
almost grown-up passengers

in total comfort.

Ow, something
hard's digging into my leg!

Don't look at me,
although it could reach from here.

So get ready to play
for the ride of your life.

Well, I don't think it's too bad.

It's not great, though, is it?

No.

APPLAUSE

Welcome back to The Inbetweeners:
Fwends Reunited, a night

where we celebrate the phenomenon
that is The Rudge Park Four.

Now, before the break we met our
four superfans of The Inbetweeners

and we teamed them
with their heroes.

They're now gonna be playing for

their very own
state-of-the-art yellow Fiat Hawaii.

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

A piece of shit
if ever there was one.

OK, let's start. So the first round
is Complete Bullshit.

APPLAUSE

So simple - I'm gonna read out
a classic Inbetweeners quote.

All you have to do is buzz in
and complete it.

For example, if I said, "I'm gonna
fuck your fucking fanny off, you..."

AUDIENCE: Twat!

Tell me you rehearsed that because
if you didn't, I don't feel safe.

OK, all right, you ready?

Let's try and win one of you a car.

OK, after Will buys alcohol for
the boys and they bunk off school

Simon asks Will, "Have you spent all
out money on fancy fucking...?"

BUZZER

Birthday Card Friends. Crisps.

Let's see if you're right.

Have you spent all our money
on fancy fucking crisps?

You twat.

That's correct. OK.

Our next question -

after the boys smoke a spliff for
the first time, Will tells Jay,

"Just because you've had
a puff on your first joint
doesn't make you..." who?

BUZZER

Birthday Card Friends. Kurt Cobain?

Let's have a look
and see if you're right.

Just cos you've had a puff
on your first joint

doesn't make you Kurt Cobain.

It's very good, that's very good.
That's two.

I would remind
the other three, you are playing.

After Simon reveals that he might
be moving, Neil asks,

"What is Swansea? Is it..." what?

BUZZER

Cardboard Car Friends.

An animal.

Let's have a look and see
if you're right.

What is Swansea? Is it an animal?

APPLAUSE

We're off to the races.

Yeah, oh, you're back,
you're in the game now.

Oh, yeah. Look how excited
his little face is. I like it.

Whilst working as a toilet attendant
in Australia, Jay says,

"No Dolce and Gabbana,
no sucky your..."?

BUZZER

Tattoo Friends.

Banana?

Let's have a look.

No Dolce and Gabbana,
no sucky your banana.

APPLAUSE

Fingers on buzzers.
To ask the next question,

it's John Seaward, AKA Big John,
with Big John's Big Question.

You could be friends with us.

Hello. John Seaward here.

My big question is this.

At the Christmas prom planning
meeting, Big John suggests burgers

and which other food to the party?
BUZZER

Cardboard Car Friends. Lasagne.

Well, let's have a look
and see if you're right.

Big John suggests
burgers and lasagne.

APPLAUSE

Big John's Big Question.

Definitely worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

OK, quickfire round cos the rest of
it, I mean, really took some time.

OK, fingers on buzzers,
all still to play for.

Not so much for you, Jason,
if I'm honest.

I'm only two behind. I can catch up.

You can, yeah.
It's all to play for, yeah, sure.

The guy from Nine Inch Nails
is probably gonna win, I mean...

Why has he ironed his hair?
We're all thinking it.

OK, while in Australia, what does
Jay tell the boys his DJ name is?

BUZZER

Birthday Card Friends.

DJ Big Penis.

That is the correct answer.

APPLAUSE

What is the nickname on the back
of Neil's Pussy Patrol T-shirt?

BUZZER
Cardboard Car Friends.

Mr Lady Killer.

That is correct.

APPLAUSE

After returning to sixth form
after the summer holiday,

Simon sarcastically says,
"He's had 210 wanks and he's..."

BUZZER
Look-Alike Friends.

I have no idea, I just really know
that we don't have a point yet

and I'm hoping that he can
bring something out of the bag.

OK, you've buzzed in so
I will have to accept your answer.

What was the question?

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I can't because we're giving away
a car, so there's rules

so I just need your answer.

Oh, it's a shit car,
there shouldn't be rules.

You're right. OK, anyone else?

BUZZER

Birthday Card Friends.

I think the answer's Peperami.

That is correct.

APPLAUSE

So in the lead so far
are The Rain Men.

You may laugh - I'm taking these two
to a casino afterwards.

Genuinely, they're gonna be friends.

OK, which roller-coaster do
we see Will and the boys...

BUZZER
Cardboard Car Friends.

Nemesis Inferno?

That is the correct answer.

APPLAUSE

What is Mr Kennedy's first name?

BUZZER

Look-Alike Friends.
Look-Alike Friends! Paedo Kennedy.

OK...

Let me just check.

So I asked,
"What's Mr Kennedy's first name?"

and you think
his first name might be Paedo?

I'll look.

Anyone else can buzz in.

BUZZER

Birthday Card Friends. John.

Yes, of course, you're right.

APPLAUSE

What is the name on Jay's fake ID?

BUZZER

Tattoo Friends.

Bret Clement.

Correct.

APPLAUSE

Well done. OK.

What drink does Neil take
on the trip to Warwick?

BUZZER

Tattoo Friends. Orangeade.

Correct.

APPLAUSE

And it's worth reminding viewers at
home that these four have no life.

And the contestants.

OK, what is the full number plate
on Simon's car?

BUZZER

Birthday Card Friends. Go on.

M335 ALP.

Yes.

APPLAUSE

Which dish does Will cook for
his dinner guests on his birthday?

BUZZER
Cardboard Car Friends.

Coq au vin. You are.

That's the correct answer.

APPLAUSE

OK, next question.

In series two, which pub do they
go to after their last exam?

BUZZER
Look-Alike Friends.
Look-Alike Friends.

The Fox and Hounds.
It's the correct answer.

Yeah!

APPLAUSE

If you wank each other off,
is that masturbation?

We'll find out later.

OK.

The boys travel into London
to go to which nightclub?

BUZZER

Look-Alike Friends. Astoria.

Yes!

We're on a roll!

Last question.

Which rock band do
Will, Simon, Jay and Neil...?

BUZZER
Cardboard Car Friends.

Fail-Safe.

That is the correct answer.

APPLAUSE

OK, so it's a tie break between

Birthday Card Friends

and Cardboard Car Friends.

How are you feeling? Are you feeling
confident, Birthday Card Friend?

Hmm, so-so.

Cardboard Car Friends,
how are you feeling?

About that.

Right.

That could be any manner of things.

And so it's all on this.

For the shitty yellow car.

Ooh! OK, here we go.

It's the tie break question.

How much is the fine for
shitting on the...

BUZZER
Cardboard Car Friends.

50 euros.

That's the right answer.

APPLAUSE

You've won the Cinquecento.

Please, come to the car.

You have won a Cinquecento.

Come on, jump in.

Sir, this is all yours.

Good luck getting an MOT on it.

Oh, my God,
it HAS got a fucking tape deck.

Incredible.

OK, whilst we attempt to Febreze the
shit out of the back seats of this,

why don't you catch up with
the next instalment

of the history of The Inbetweeners?

APPLAUSE

Beneath the surface of

this unremarkable woodland clearing

lie many of the original
Inbetweeners props,

each one carefully buried as
part of an ill-conceived tax dodge.

Oh! Jackpot.

Look!

It's the unmistakable passenger door
of a Fiat Cinquecento Hawaii.

Sweet.

That's a tenner on eBay right there.

Anyway...

when we left the story,
The Inbetweeners was finally on TV

but taking a battering in
the ratings from a spin-off show

from the shitiest series of
Big Brother to date.

Was this the end of
the iconic comedy?

No. It wasn't.

The show was saved
from the TV scrapheap

by the sale of lots of this.

This archaic technology
is what you call a DVD.

It's like a podcast with pictures.

People used to spend good money
on these, and so a second series

was commissioned, this time with
a new national catchphrase.

Oh, friend, friend!

Oh, friend.

Ooh, friend!

Friend!

Friends.
Sorry, that's not the catchphrase.

Yeah, I know.
It's the name of a fantastic sitcom.

Wait a minute,
what show are you talking about?

We're in serious trouble here.

What? Oh, what?
That's only for emergencies!

For emergencies!

Channel 4 commissioned
a second series,

this time with Ben Palmer
in the director's chair.

The second series,

it just jumped up to another strata,
so we had 1.3 million viewers

tuned in for the start of the second
series and I think by the time

we got to the third series,
it had just gone through the roof.

And the British Comedy Award
goes to The Inbetweeners.

And it did pick up awards -
left, right and centre.

Not that everyone in the comedy
industry was happy about it.

Can we say to
the most important people...?

So with all these viewers,
DVD sales, online hits and awards,

you can see how successful
The Inbetweeners became.

However, the show started to
attract complaints, but why?

What you should do
if you have to kill a fish

is use a sort of blunt instrument
like a cosh or something like that

and whack it behind the eye

because that impacts the brain
and ends its life.

It was a dead fish

and obviously had to punch it
take after take after take

and basically ended up with
bruised knuckles the next morning,

quite swollen, so the fish
in a way got its own back.

Many of the scenes
that drew complaint

were based on true-life events.

Room for one more at the front.

How can there possibly be room
for only one more at the front?

Oh, God, it was so bad.

We queued up to get on this ride
that had three seats at the front

and when we got there

there were already two people
sitting in the front

and they were closing the ride
and I threw a huge fit.

I mean, as a fully grown man,
I threw a huge fit.

Get them off!
Get them off and make them move!

Fucking pushing in!

About how they should make these
people move. Can't they read?

The whole line says,
"Three people only."

What's wrong with these people?
Are they stupid?

Sir, if you could... Are they so
dumb they think it's OK to push in?!

Anyway, I sat down in the front,
my friends sat behind me.

I'll just get on
and sit at the front next to

these inconsiderate arseholes!

I look to my right and it was
two guys with Downs syndrome

who had been sitting in the front
that I'd been berating.

I'm the worst human being
in the world.

I got off and people were just kind
of booing me from the other queue

and I was like, "Come on,
we just need to leave the park.

"We need to get out of here
right now."

I mean, it's pretty bad in the show
but it was much worse in real life.

The worst story line that happened
to me that was in the show

was the moment where Simon goes to
an under-18 disco and is given...

I mean, no other way of saying this,
a hand job on the dance floor.

Oh, what are you doing?

Shall we go somewhere more private?

I want you! Right, yeah.

Careful, no-one's touched that
before. It might go off! Oh, good.

And I remember just the mad sort of

tortured dance
my brain was going through

because like on the one hand I was
aware how horrific this looked,

the optics were not good on this,

so it was quite brightly lit
for a dance hall as well

and my mates were literally like,
three yards to the left of me

as this was happening, but then
on the other hand, you know,

my teenage brain was like,

"But no-one else has ever
touched your genitals before".

So it was horrific.

Getting a bit weird now.

I don't like it when he makes
eye contact. None of us do, Neil.

Yeah, that one
is particularly raw still.

After three series, the nation was
begging for more Inbetweeners

but the cast were looking well old

so Iain and Damon decided
to call it a day.

That was until Film Four came
forward with an offer

to make a motion picture.

Iain and Damon agreed because
they're big fans of cinema

and even bigger fans of money.

But translating The Inbetweeners

from the small screen to the big
screen wasn't going to be easy.

Oh, hang on, look -
possible pot there, you see?

No, it's just a wee jobbie.

Jugasaurus Rex - from the Latin
for "well-endowed reptile".

The Jugasaurus Rex is
a being who possess breasts

at a cup size D or above.

Like a peacock's tail, these breasts
entrance young men, who are then

vulnerable to emotional manipulation
and forced coupledom.

So what I've learnt from
The Inbetweeners is...

Never trust your friends
when you're parking your car.

Right, how much money
have we got between us?

No, you chose to park here.

Just because someone's in a
wheelchair doesn't mean
they're not an arsehole.

Even in this chair,
I could kick your arse.

I could kick your arse right in.
Ow!

Get out of the way
when Jay is driving!

It's road kill.
See it every morning.

Oh, no! Why did you do that?

Not so clever now, is he?

Don't do drugs. No.

I think I might be dead.

I learnt the word clunge.

It's the ultimate clunge magnet.

I'm off to find the clunge.

Oh, I bet it's crawling with clunge.

Big clunge fan, so it's nice
to have clunge in my vocabulary.

APPLAUSE

Welcome back, bumbers, to
The Inbetweeners: Friends Reunited,

the only show that acknowledges

sometimes you can put the balls in,
too.

LAUGHTER

Right, let's talk about nudity
in The Inbetweeners.

Yeah, please.
Let's talk about dicks. Go on.

Now. you get naked
in the show, don't you?

You get your cock out? Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't though, I was too scared.

It was the first film I'd ever made,
and they wanted me to get my
penis out.

And you didn't want to...
because it's malformed?

No, just cos it was... you know,
no-one wants to get their penis
out.

So, yeah, they super-imposed
this penis on me,

and it was a small penis,
and I just thought

"Well, I could have done that."

I was hoping they'd put something
bigger in the way!

I think we have some footage of you.

Oh, good, thank you.

CHILD: I no swim, I beg you.

Not cool. Argh!

All right. All right,
it's just a joke. We're mates.

CHILD LAUGHS

So little, so little!

Yeah, so...

So that's... that's not your...

..that's not your cock and balls?
No, it's not.

Who is your, er, stunt cock?

OK, so that guy... Yeah.

..he was offered to us

by his grandmother.

LAUGHTER

And I believe he's here tonight.

Cole Templeton, your cock double.
Hi, how are you?

APPLAUSE

DROWNED BY APPLAUSE

So, how did you get the job?
You got...?

It was actually my mum, not my
grandmother. It was your mum? Yes.

Oh, it was your mum? That makes it
less weird. Sorry, yeah. Exactly.

So she'd heard, "Oh, they're looking
for someone with a small cock,"

and was like, "Oh, my boy!"

Can I just say, this was in February
and it was very cold.

Let's give him a round of applause.
What a gent.

Now, we all know nothing embarrasses
teenage boys

more than their parents, so let's
talk to The Inbetweeners' parents!

APPLAUSE

How you doing, Inbetweeners'
parents. Hello, Jimmy.

OK, most embarrassing thing you
had to do on The Inbetweeners?

That's probably the fashion show,

where I was instructed by
the director

to stare at Joe's right testicle.

LAUGHTER

And I couldn't just fake it,
it had to be exactly,

that had to be the eye line.

So I started at that for
the best part of 25 minutes.

Mesmeric, I imagine. Yes.

Testacular. Yeah. Yeah.

What? It's a dad joke!

Worst thing? I think I
kept my powder pretty dry,

but I did have to get off
with Greg Davis.

Which wasn't embarrassing,
it was just fun.

Yeah, who wouldn't
want a bounce on that?

Do you get recognised
in the street?

Do people shout things at you,
or...?

Yeah, "You got a cock
like a McDonald's chip".

You get that shouted at you?
I get that a lot, yeah.

And do you think that's
from the show? No.

LAUGHTER

OK. Ladies and gentleman,
to present our next award,

you might recognise him from sitting
at the table earlier looking bored.

I'd like to introduce one
of my favourite comic actors,

I'd like to but I can't,
cos it's Greg Davis!

# Show some love

# You ain't so tough

# Come fill my little world
right up

# Right up... #

Hello, Greg, you all right?
Having the time of my life!

Lovely. I'm a bit nervous,

I've just smashed a bag of crisps
in the short time I was standing
back there,

so I'm just picking them out of
my teeth. Right, well,

a body like that doesn't
just happen, does it? You know it.

You know I've worked on it.

Do you want me to crack on with it?
No, you can just have a chat.

I thought you had a chat with
everyone else? Oh, yeah.

Well, I was, you know... You've
got to lead that, Jim. Oh, OK. Yeah.

Favourite moment working
on The Inbetweeners?

I can't remember.

LAUGHTER

I don't. Not that
the show's not memorable,

the show's wonderfully memorable.

I'm 50 years of age,
I don't remember any of it.

Right, I'm here to give out
the award for best parent.

You know how you've got the winner
out and you're about to read it?

Yeah. Don't do that.
Yeah, don't do that.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I don't want to be that guy,
but you had one job.

And the nominations
for best parent are...

Where was it you were headed to
again? Simon never tells me
anything.

Malia, Mr Cooper, in Greece.
Can't say I've heard of it.

Of course you haven't,
it's a cool place to go.

And it's got a Subways. Oh, right.
In my day, it was all about Spain.

Me and my mates went to Magaluf
this one time.

Shagaluf, we called it.

Should have called it Shag-a-lot,
and hard, anything that moved.

We had a system.

Always left a hat on the bedroom
door when one of us got lucky.

It was usually me.
Oh, Dad, please shut up!

I don't know what it is,

but you'll find girls just seem to
let themselves go a bit more abroad.

It's like as soon as they smell
the sun cream, they get wet.

Your mother's the same, even now.
Oh, God. Just drop us here!

Don't worry son, there's a girl
out there for you somewhere.

You just need to find a desperate
bird that likes the smell of BO

and blokes with tiny cocks!

Oh, and Neil, Will's a little bit
stressed at the moment.

Me not being around might
bring on one of his migraines.

If that does happen,
there are special suppositories

in the bathroom cabinet. Mum!
It's the only thing that works.

He's usually a bit sick,
can't keep pain killers down.

Just need to pop two in. In where?

Well, they are suppositories,
so in his bottom. Mum!

For a joke?

No, to stop his headache.

Bye, Petal.

Well, that is not happening.

Seriously, I don't care
if you're dying.

I'm going nowhere
near your arsehole.

WILL IN VOICEOVER:
Could this party get any worse?

Turns out, it could!

Oh, I say!

What must you think of me racing
around the house in my briefs

like we're at some sort of
Roman orgy?

Neil will be back in a minute.

He's just finishing off up
after chess club.

APPLAUSE

You've already practised
this bit, haven't you? No.

Yeah, you should nail it.

And the winner for best parent is...

..Jay's dad!

# Hey, show some love

# You ain't so tough...

David Schaal, everyone.

# Come fill my little world
right up. #

Thank you very much. Thank you very
much.

Congratulations. Thank you.
Well done.

I won this award for playing
a bit of a prick,

so I'd like to invite
all the pricks at BAFTA

to give me a BAFTA for
playing a prick.

David Schaal, Greg Davis,
give them a round of applause.

APPLAUSE

Time now for another high brow look
back at the TV show that gave us

the phrase, "I'm gonna fuck your
fucking fanny off, you twat."

That's right, it's another
instalment of the history of The
Inbetweeners.

MUFFLED

I'm sorry, bear with.

Bear with.

There we go.

In just three years,

The Inbetweeners went from
small screen to big screen,

and the fans went wild.

CHEERING

The film was released in the
summer of 2011

and the film crit... the...

..the film critics were all agreed,

it changed the face
of cinema forever.

Citizen Kane, The Godfather,
La Dolce Vita,

they all pale into insignificance
next to The Inbetweeners Movie.

When I first saw it, I thought,
"This is what cinema is all about."

It was the greatest day of my life,

and I include in that my wedding day
and the birth of my two children,

if I ever have any.

With a budget of just
£3.5 million...

I think you're in my seat.

Have you ever picked up teeth
wi' broken fingers?

On your way.

With a budget of just £3.5 million,

the producers had very modest
aspirations for the film.

Our ambition, really,
at the beginning of it all

was just, you know, not to
fuck it up for the audience,

and to hopefully,

you know, people would go
and see it.

The film was huge.

It smashed the record for the
most successful opening weekend

for a comedy film in the UK ever.

It stayed at the top of the charts
for four weeks,

by which time it had made
£42 million.

Yes!

Right, then, Si.
Looks like the holiday starts here.

# Pa pa l'americano. #

The dancing scene. Oh, my word.

In all my years of choreography,

I've never seen anything
so graceful!

MUSIC: We No Speak Americano

A daring fusion of the
American smooth free-form Jazz tap

and the Macarena.

After I watched that scene,
I retired from creating dance

because I realised I didn't
understand dance myself.

NEIL OLIVER: Even the world's
biggest boyband coveted their moves.

The Inbetweeners Movie surpassed
everyone's wildest expect... Shh!

The film's about to start.

Well, tell someone who gives a toss!

The Inbetweeners Movie surpassed
everyone's wildest expectations,

becoming a true modern classic.

Oh, bollocks, I thought
this was Miss Congeniality 2.

I love Sandra Bullock.

A vehicle full of
desirable young women.

When young men encounter
a muffwagon,

their natural instinct is to
honk their horn and follow it.

Up ahead, a car full of muff!

The total number of relationships
started by chasing women in a car

currently stands at zero.

What I've learnt from
The Inbetweeners is...

..to never volunteer
for a fashion show.

MUSIC:
Lady Marmalade

I just wanted to know

whether it was
actually his testicle.

A teenager's bedroom is
their castle.

GROANING

Are you OK?
It's just a film.

Can I say I relate to that?

It's just a normal film.

God, I'm getting changed. Get out!

Never go on a caravanning holiday.

TOILET FLUSHES

Jesus Christ.

WEAKLY: My eyes are burning.

Never let a French exchange student
stay in your house

if you have a hot mother.

Bonjour.
Oh, goodness, you're French.

"Your mother is very sexy."

I just had a really nice... er,
tug thinking about your mother.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back to The Inbetweeners
Friends Reunited,

the Channel 4 telethon
where we attempt to raise money

for four of the UK's most
disadvantaged loser virgins.

Right, we've got a guest.
Do you recognize this voice?

"Your mother is very sexy.

"She has the sex."

Yes, that's right,
it's Vladimir Consigny,

AKA Patrice the French
exchange student!

Now, you're a proper actual actor.

No offence. No, none taken.
None taken, it's fine, yeah.

But, like, you've gone on
to do sort of things in France

and, like, proper actual drama.

Yes, I have. Yeah.

But they are amazing actors,
all of them, actually.

Vlad, you're so handsome.

LAUGHTER

I love you.
LAUGHTER

Have you got a question
for the boys?

Well, I have a question,
yeah, I do, actually.

I came to London for the first time,
to England for the first time,

for shooting The Inbetweeners
10 years ago,

and I haven't been back since,

so my only vision of England
is this.

Is the UK only like that?

Is it normal here?

Are we normal? Yeah.

Like, do you think you give a good
representation of Britain today?

I don't think we give
a good representation of humans!

I think it gives a fair
representation of

teenage idiots in Britain,

but I like to think
we're a bit better than

just what you see
on The Inbetweeners.

But then you never know, we're in
a dodgy situation at the moment.

Well, let's throw it back at you.

Are these boys like
teenagers are in France?

Oh, look at him.
He was knee deep in clunge.

LAUGHTER

Were you successful in school
with the ladies?

I don't know, I did OK.

What about you?

Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah!

LAUGHTER

This guy?

Sure.

Sure.

No I had to... er, no. No?

Weirdly, yeah,
no-one got lost in my eyes,

because you can barely see them.

They're like pissholes in the snow.

Everyone, let's hear it for Patrice,
the foreign exchange,

Vladimir Consigny.
Thank you very much.

APPLAUSE

Right, time for our next award.
It's Best Action Sequence,

and here to present it, the man,
the legend, Frank Bruno.

MUSIC:
Theme from Rocky

APPLAUSE

Good to see you, yeah.

Thank you very much,
it's great. I've enjoyed it.

Thank you, thank you.

It's Frank Bruno, everyone.

FRANK CHUCKLES

Cheers, thank you.

Did you have a tough time at school?
Did you get bullied?

Erm... not really,

cos I started boxing so I could
look after myself and run very fast.

Nice. Yeah!

Normally when people... I like your
suit as well. Thanks very much.

Normally, when people
come on the show

I take the piss a little bit
but... eh! Yeah? No.

LAUGHTER
I'm not... not having it.

FRANK CHUCKLES

You can take the piss
any time you want.

cos I admire you, you've got class
and I like your suits that you wear.

So you can take the piss
out of me any time you want.

RAPIDLY: Thank you very much,
you massive bell-end. Cheers.

FRANK CHUCKLES

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Shall we announce the nominations?
Yeah. Go on.

The nominations are:

It's like riding a bike, innit?

HE LAUGHS

MUSIC:
Lady Marmalade

But it's my bowels.
They're disabled.

Oh, no.

Will!

Will, poo! Poo!

Poo!

Clear!

Clear!

Yeah, you won, yeah!

Nooo!

Right then, Si.
Looks like the holiday starts here.

DANCE MUSIC

And the winners are...

the dancers.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Just, James, if you could just sit
there and do nothing. Hello, there.

Hello, sir. Hello.

How are you doing? Respect.
All right, thank you.

How does it feel to win,
gentleman? Good, good.

This for me is like the result of
spending my lonely teenage years

watching a lot of
Justin Timberlake movie videos,

so I'd like to thank all the people
that wouldn't be friends with me,

and Justin Timberlake.

Who probably wouldn't be friends
with you as well. Yeah!

He'll fit within that group.

Can I ask, James,
what's it like to lose?

To lose to these guys?

They... fucking deserve it.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

A round of applause
for our dancers and Frank Bruno.

Thank you very much indeed, Frank.

Now, Joe, Simon, Blake and James

have spent the years since
The Inbetweeners ended

trying to convince people
they're actual proper actors.

Let's see how they got on.

For someone who doesn't stop
going on about Formula One,

you're surprisingly shit at driving.

Ha-ha! Seriously,
like no control of the vehicle.

No control of the vehicle?

ALARM GOES OFF

Why does it keep doing that?

No control of the vehicle.
Well, you can drive next time.

Fine, and you can learn from
the master. Master Knobface.

I was sitting at my desk...
That's strange!

No, it's not.

And I was on the phone...

That's strange!

No... it's not.

And then there was
this flash of light,

and before I knew it,
I was in another world.

That's the strange part.

Guys, this is The Pirate.

Who calls themselves The Pirate?
What, does he have only one leg?

He does actually only have one leg,
yeah. He was in a really savage

car accident when he was five and
they had to amputate below the knee.

There really is no way
I could have known that.

I mean, The Rock
isn't called The Rock

cos his dad was crushed
by a boulder.

I hate dogs.

Well, that's a silly thing to say.

It's like a bloody donkey!
How's it going to fit in the car?

I thought we were going to the
hotel? That's a different car.

Change of plan. I need to go to
Porlock, see a client.

OK, well, I'll wait here.
You need to come with me!

He could be anywhere,
the man from Canada.

Well, I'm not going without Rinka.

Christ, you make it difficult.

Get in, then! In, in!
Get in the car!

APPLAUSE

That's your proper acting.

So, Blake, you're in
A Very English Scandal,

which is quite a serious thing.

Were you were preparing for
that role by just punching fish?

Well, obviously, you know,

having a history of animal cruelty
in shows has probably helped.

I don't know what it is about
my face that either screams

"idiot" or "masochist",
but there's something in it. Yeah.

Simon, you're directing a movie,
right? That's right, yeah.

It's hopefully coming out next year.

It starts Monica Dolan,
Earl Cave, Rob Brydon,

Tamsin Greig, Tim Key,
lots of other people.

I didn't get a phone call.

It's weird, isn't it, that I didn't
want you guys hanging around,

slapping me in the balls

and drawing horrid little cartoons
of me on the clapper board.

Were any of you worried about being
typecast on The Inbetweeners?

Yeah, I think so, at the time.

I've sort of changed
my opinion on that recently.

Go on, how so?

Because that's sort of
the best thing I do,

and people like me doing it.
Yeah, I'm 100% with you.

I'm good at one-liners,
shit at interviews.

Of course one of the most beloved
scenes of The Inbetweeners is

when you're at the water park
and some shit lands on your face.

Yeah. How many times did you have
to film that sequence?

Phew. I lost count, to be honest.

Let's take a look. Yay!

What?

APPLAUSE

I mean, my favourite thing
about that is

that you must have had to call home,
"How was your day?"

"Not great."

"Of course, Blake had the really
difficult job, shitting 18 times".

I lost a lot of weight on that.

OK. Join us after the break when
we'll be revealing the winner of

the best ever Inbetweeners moment

as voted for by you,
fans of the show.

See you in a minute.
APPLAUSE

Dead hand gang, collective noun.

If one is simply too unattractive to
find a sexual partner,

one can numb one's own hand

to experience the sensation
of another's touch.

Or, at the very least,
the symptoms of late stage diabetes.

APPLAUSE

Welcome back to
The Inbetweeners: Fwends Reunited.

It's the final part of the show
and we'll be revealing

the best Inbetweeners moment ever as
voted for by you, fans of the show.

But before that,
we have the final instalment

of our history of
The Inbetweeners.

After three television series
and one hit movie,

what was next
for The Inbetweeners?

Excuse me, can you be quiet, please?

Book wanker.

Shhh!

International versions,
that's what was next.

The American version of The
Inbetweeners had a profound affect

on the USA. It aired for
the first time in 2012.

Just four years later, Donald Trump
was elected president.

You join the dots.

Merchandise followed,

and because Iain and Damon hated the
idea of selling Inbetweeners tat,

the bootleggers were
having a field day.

I know where the smart money
came from in 2011.

I made a fortune out of bootleg
"bus wanker" phone covers.

The success of the first
Inbetweeners Movie simply

couldn't be topped, so Damon and
Iain explicitly stated there would

be no more Inbetweeners movies,

they would not do anything to
tarnish their art.

No amount of money would persuade
them to sell out.

And then three years later,
they made The Inbetweeners 2.

Will! Will, I need help!

That last one, I think maybe
I followed through.

Go.

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

It's my bowels, they're disabled.
Oh, no.

Will!

Will, poo! Poo!

I mean, that water slide scene,
it is just perfection.

It's got everything.

It's got the wild thrill of
the car chases from Baby Driver.

Oh, no!

But instead of cars, it's a poo.

It's got the edge of your seat
tension of Spielberg's Jaws.

Out of the water! Clear!

But instead of a shark, it's a poo.

Yay! You won! Yeah.

I mean, it really is the greatest
poo-based water chute scene

in cinema history.

No-o-o!

Sadly, that's the end of
the historical account.

It's only a day's work, which is
a shame really, because talking

about stuff that's already happened
is a piss easy gig, but enough

about me,
what was next for The Inbetweeners?

Nothing. That's it.

It's finished.

But while The Inbetweeners
has come to an end,

its impact is still resonating,
not just culturally, but socially,

in the villages, towns and cities
of this great nation.

Goodnight.

Bus wankers!

Right. Time now to reveal the winner
of the best Inbetweeners moment ever

as voted for by you, the Great
British public, or Russian bots,

who knows?

From a list of the top 12
best moments ever,

you overwhelmingly voted
for the following four clips.

Here to introduce the favourites,

I'm not saying my next guest likes
her men young,

but her vagina recently failed
its CRB check,

it's Katherine Ryan.

CHEERING

I always get so excited when he asks
me to come on a show and it turns

out to really be a show
and not a trap.

Well, and I'm glad you got the
message about the uniform I wanted

you to wear. Thank you.

I struggled to find the exact tie.

You've performed with
four teenage boys before

but I don't believe
it was televised.

It's all right,
it's just a bit of fun.

Were you any good at school?

Well, you know the game plan
in Canada is just get fingered

by anyone who owns ice skates
and hope that one of them gets

drafted to the NHL.

Some nominations. OK.

The nominations for the best
Inbetweeners moment ever are...

Best Moment Ever.

MUSIC: "We No Speak Americano"
by Yolanda Be Cool and Dcup

Well, that was a much more
dignified end for him.

I have to stop. Aye, aye!

No! Jay! Bus wankers!

Why are you slowing down?
I tried to say!

Oh, Christ, Jay!
Oh, shit!

Oh, no, they're coming.
Shit! Drive!

Where? Where am I meant to drive to?

Anywhere!

Oh, shit!

Listen, sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.

Who's a wanker? I'm sorry.

I'm a wanker, am I? I'm really
sorry. He's really sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry.

I'd rather be a bus wanker
than drive that piece of...

Oh, fucking hell,
you two shit yourselves!

Enough of your lip.
Oh, you'd like my lip, wouldn't you?

Right round your bell-end!

If Mr Chippy
doesn't get there first.

What's he going to knock up,
a closet for you hide in?

You bumder!

Katherine Ryan,
the best ever Inbetweeners moment.

Oh, my goodness. And the winner,
with 21.5% of the votes, is....

..bus wankers!

CHEERING

James, Joe, Simon, Blake,
come over and get your trophy.

Give them a round of applause.

Yeah, it's good. Nice, weren't it?

They were all good moments, weren't
they really, when you think back?

It was a good show, wasn't it?

Would you do a third movie?

Yeah, of course I would.

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

There you go.

Well, that's almost all
we've got time for.

A huge thank you to
Simon, Blake, James and Joe,

the supporting cast and to all
The Inbetweeners fans.

Take it away.

MUSIC: "We No Speak Americano"
by Yolanda Be Cool and Dcup

Subtitles by Red Bee Media