The Happy Poet (2010) - full transcript

A poet who starts a health-conscious food stand finds support from his friends, as well as a potential love match with one of his customers. But will unexpected complications jeopardize his dreams of a hot dog-free future?


(soft music)

- It would be all organic,
mostly vegetarian,

basically really healthy,

tasty food at a reasonable price.

All of the plates, utensils
would either be made

of a biodegradable corn-based plastics

or recycled materials.

And eventually I'd like to get it running

completely on solar,

which I think is doable
because it's a food stand,

it doesn't take that much energy.

So basically it would be the
only food stand of its kind

and one that I think the
public would really respond to.

- Right,

Well, you know I'm seeing
a lot of debt here,

we've got credit cards, student loans.

- Yeah, I mean, and honestly
that's really the main reason

I want to get this going 'cause
I think it would be a big step

in the right direction
to paying that debt off

because I'd have a
corner on the market, so.

- You know a good old
fashioned hot dog stand

is going to look a little
bit better, for me.

You're guaranteed to start
earning some revenue,

pick a good spot, get yourself set up,

start making money from the get-go.

- Yeah, I definitely
see what you're saying

and, I don't doubt that that's true

but, I guess my question to you would be,

is the easiest thing,
always the best thing?

I mean, can you imagine what would happen

if you had hot dogs for every meal?

I mean, does anyone even
eat hot dogs anymore?

I don't...

- You have a master's degree?

- Yeah.

- A master's degree in creative writing.

- Ah huh, yeah.

- What is it like, stories
and things like that?

- My focus was actually in poetry.

- Looking at all this debt,

we'd like to have a
little bit of experience.

You have any experience in the industry?

- I do,

I worked at an Asian
restaurant a while ago

and I did some bicycle delivery.

- Right.

- I did some expediting
of orders and I did

a fair amount of cashiering.

So, a little bit of everything.

- I can do 750.

Now I know it's considerably less

than what you had asked for.

- That's yeah, that's about 10% of-

- With this debt, your lack of experience

and quite frankly, your elitist attitude,

I really don't feel comfortable

even approving a loan at all,

but I kind of want to see
where you go with this.

- You'll be making money?

- [Bill] Mh hhm.

- It's a work horse,

a real work horse.

Yeah, so you get yourself some wieners,

some buns, condiments,

and you're in business, yeah.

- I guess this is where you put
the, whatever you're going to-

- The wieners, that's where
you can put the wieners.

- Yeah, or,

I mean, I'm assuming you can
put anything in there, right?

I mean it's...

- What do you mean?

- You know, like sausages maybe or-

- Sausages, yeah, you can do sausages.

- Yeah, if I just, if I want
to mix it up a little bit,

bratwurst, something like that.

- Bratwurst, kielbasa, Italian sausages.

- Okay, would you,

possibly be open to some kind
of a monthly payment plan?

Like I would pay something down

and then each month I
would pay something more.

(water runs)

You know I'm trying to
keep my startup costs down,

I have kind of limited resources.

So the cost is kind of...

- These forks and knives
biodegrade in seven years.

- That's pretty good.

(soft piano music)

That's what I'm talking about right there.

(drilling machine)

(dog barks)

Hey.

- Hey, can I have a hot dog
with ketchup and mustard?

- I actually don't have hot dogs.

I just have that stuff
listed there on the menu.

- No hot dogs?

(clears throats)

- So I'll take two hot dogs.

- Two hot...

I have some other stuff here,

I got some nuts, got
some really good apples.

- Want something besides a hot dog?

- No, it's okay, thank you though.

- They're grown locally
in a community garden

and delivered by, bicycle.

- I just want a hot dog.

- Yeah, what's with the
picture of a hot dog?

- Could I just get a taco
with like shredded beef in it?

- What's all that?

You guys just put it in the bags yourself?

- Yeah, I just put some.

(laughs)

Yeah, if you wanted to try anything,

I'd give you a deal.

Kind of like a free sample.

- Free?

- Yeah, if you, I mean,

if you're interested in trying something,

yeah, I could-

- All right, yeah, yeah.

What do I got to lose, right?

- Yeah.

- How do you make egg salad without eggs?

- It's made with tofu
and a vegan mayonnaise.

It's pretty good, you want to try it?

- All right, lets give it a shot,

you only live once, right?

- That's right, yeah.

Cool.

Yeah, this was actually one of the first

vegetarian type foods I tried.

So yeah, you can go
ahead and give it a shot

and if you like it, just come back,

like buy some time.

- Thanks, man.

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

- Tell your friends about it,

if you like it.

(soft piano music)

- Hey man,

how's it going?

- Pretty good.

- Are you closing up for the day?

- Yeah, closing up, yeah.

- Yeah, is it too late to get anything?

- No, I've got,

still got a lot of stuff left so.

- How's the hummus tabouli peta?

- It's good, I think, I mean,

and I have a really good tzatziki sauce

that goes really well on it.

- Fire it up.

- That's...
- All right.

- Let's try it, man.

God, it's a beautiful
day man, it's perfect.

Be out here selling vegetarians things.

- Yeah.

- Oh, how much is it?

- It's five.

- Do you ever do 1/2 like, 1/2?

- Yeah, I could do a...

- Really?

- I could do 1/2 sandwich.

- Just going to cut it in 1/2?

- Yeah,

you know what?

You can just have a whole one.

- Yeah?

- It's cool,

yeah, this stuff's all
getting thrown away.

- Oh, man that's heavy, dude.

Wow, thanks.

Hey man, you shouldn't
throw this stuff out.

I mean, you shouldn't...

It's good food, you
shouldn't throw it away.

Dude, that's really good.

- You like it?

- Do I like it?

That's amazing,

that's fantastic!

You got garlic in there,
you got basil, right?

- Yeah.

- I'm kind of a basil guy myself,

I like to make pesto.

Yeah.

- Pretty had me on Thai basil,

pretty much.

- Hey Bill, that's my buddy Donny.

- Hey, what's up?

- Donny, Bill, I'd shake your hand but...

That's Matt, Donny.

- Bill, hey Donny.

- Nice to meet you.
- Matt,

not much, nice shirt, dude.

- How do you know Sean?

- We live in the same building.

Wow.

- At some point.

- Solar (laughs)

That's fucking kick ass dude.

- Well, eventually,
somewhere down the line.

I mean the main thing is the food.

- Hey, I think it's a good idea, man.

- People like quality.

- Hells yeah, they like quality.

- Are you all going to sell like,

vegan cookies and shit like that?

- I would eventually like
to work in some kind of a-

- I had a vegan cookie one time,

man, it tasted like shit.

(laughs)

I mean, no offense, if you're
like, a vegan cookie guy,

but it really tasted like I
was eating dirt or something.

It was all dry and it
didn't have any flavor.

I was like, what did you
put in this thing, dirt?

- Yeah I mean, I don't
know if I'll ever actually

do a cookie, but anyway,

I feel like if I could get the word out,

it would really take off.

- Well, you know what, dude?

I might be interested in helping you out

with something like that.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I used to do some event promotion,

I think I'd probably be pretty good

at helping you get that word out

and I could use a part-term job.

- Huh?

- And I'm just thinking out loud here,

but, are you set up for deliveries yet?

- No, I actually hadn't
even thought of that.

(electric drill)

- I'd like a 1/2 of a
baba ganoush groente.

- Okay.

- I'll take the other 1/2 of that.

- Thanks, these are
cute little sandwiches.

- That's adorable.

Thank you.
- Thanks.

- Oh, you guys have a good one.

- Thanks.

- You got a favorite you recommend?

- I mean, I think they're all good,

but, it's whatever mood you're in.

- Good answer.

- Let me try the eggless egg salad.

- Oh yeah, yeah.

- This is actually one of my favorites so-

- Yeah?

- It's got, you know,

it's got some lot of good veggies on it,

so I think-

- How long you've been here?

- This is actually my second day.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, just two days, yeah.

- Yeah, I was just
walking by when I saw you.

These all look really good.

- Yeah, cool.

I'm glad that you found,

found me over here.

I was hoping that would happen.

I was hoping that would happen
with some people, but...

Oh, I forgot to ask you if you wanted...

do you want vegetable chips with your-

- Sure.

- They go pretty well with it,

so I just figured, throw it in there.

- So how much for?

- Actually,

you can just have that really.

I...

yeah, I was planning on
doing some free samples, so,

to drum up business so-

- Seriously?

- Yeah, yeah.

Just if anybody you know is looking

for a place to eat lunch,

just tell him, come on over here

and I'm here, so...

- Thanks.

- Yeah,

have a good one.

- You too.

- Hey, these are mini sandwiches.

- Yeah, yeah they're
working out pretty well.

- Dude, that's so cool.

- Yeah.

- I'm so glad that I could
help out in some mini way.

- Yeah man, that's all you did.

I wouldn't have thought of
it if you hadn't told me.

- It's all right if I take two?

- Sure.

- Hey man, this is cool.

You want to go back to my
place to smoke a joint?

- No, that's all right,

I actually kind of quit
smoking just recently.

- Do you like sci-fi?

I have some old sci-fi.

In VCR.

- You don't think this Bill's food stands,

works or Bill's-

- I like the Vege out food stand.

- Yeah, I just feel like that

has like a sedentary feel.

I wouldn't mind having
something more, you know?

- Happy.

Oh, yes, yeah okay,

you're your poet, right?

Yeah, you're a poet and-

- Yeah, I don't want to call it-

- You're a poet,

the happy poet.

The happy poet.

- Yeah, I'm not going to
call it the happy poet.

- Why not?

- Well, for one thing I don't write.

- Okay, so you don't write anymore,

that doesn't mean you're not
still a poet, you're a poet.

This, this is your poetry now.

Right?

People don't understand that,

what you do, the way you live your life,

it can be a work of art.

You, me, us,

right, all of us together.

- Hey, how's it going?

- Hey.

- [Curtis] Hey, we're-

- Don't ask.

- What?

- We're thinking of a name for...

what do you think of the happy
poet, for the food stand?

- We're not.

- It's cute.

Are you like a writer or something?

- I guess,

yeah, I mean, I guess a
little here and there.

- Cool.

I do some writing,

I mean, not, not poetry,

God, that...

Yeah that's just so hard, you know?

I mean, every word so important, right?

- It is one of the more
challenging forms of writing,

definitely.

(soft piano music)

Not bad.

I like the cursive.

- [Donnie] Yeah, yeah.

- It's pretty good.

- [Donnie] Font's pretty kick ass.

- I take it you still don't like the name?

- Oh, I didn't say I didn't like it, dude.

I mean, whatever gets you laid man,

I'm not going to argue with that.

- I'm not naming it that to get laid.

(laughs)

- Okay.

- She seems like a sensible person,

unlike the kind of clientele that probably

be frequenting the food stand.

- Hot chicks?

- No, not hot chicks.

- You don't have to explain
yourself to me, okay?

You're a dude,

dudes pound puss.

That's what God made us to do.

(scooter engine revs)

Hey, new organic food stand, very healthy.

Take a look.

New organic food stand,
you guys come check it out.

- What does he want?

- It's for like a restaurant or something.

- No, it's a food stand.

- Oh ghee, thanks.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Okay fuck you fucking Barbie dolls.

Why don't you get cheeseburger?

- Fuck you ass hole.

(scooter engine revs)

- Well, I should probably get going guys.

- Come here.

(background TV noise)

- Is this for me?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Catch you guys later.

- Oh, shit!

- Wow, so you work here now?

- Yeah, I guess you could say that.

I actually, I own it, it's my thing.

- How long have you been a vegetarian?

- I'm not, I wouldn't
say I'm a vegetarian.

I actually still eat meat
every now and then so...

- Okay.
- But-

- So did she dump you or did you dump her?

- I don't know if I'd say
there was any dumping really

that happened.

There was some gray area.

- Oh, that's sucks dude.

- Yeah, I mean, it's just kind
of hard to have a girlfriend

when you don't have a job, it's-

- Been there man, been there.

- And they just, you know,

they start thinking you're a loser,

you start thinking you're a loser

and it just kind of snowballs like that.

- Dude, you're not a loser, okay?

Take it from me, I've known
plenty of losers in my time.

Definitely not one.

- Yeah, I don't know.

- We'll tell you what dude,

I'm going to go ahead
and send some news out,

get this thing started up, okay?

- Cool.

- New food stand dude, come check us out.

It's good shit.

Got a food stand at auditorium
shores, come check us out.

Hey dude, it's healthy
shit, come check this out.

Maybe I can leave some out,

you can pass them out in your
building something like that.

Some healthy shit, you come see us.

- Vegetable chips, dried fruit.

- Can I have some dried fruit?

- I get a free sandwich out of it?

- Probably not.

- He said, if I told you that,

that you would give me a free coke.

- Oh.

- Tell him Donnie sent
you, you get a free Coke.

- I got to go home, I live in Dallas.

- Okay, I'm sorry you live in Dallas too.

- No man, just the coke should do it.

- All right, this is cool.

- I'll put it in the back pocket.

Tell him Donnie sent
you, you get a free coke.

You can bring your dog.

- That's definitely
good, if you like basil.

I'm a fan of basil.

- Mostly organic food, my
name is Donnie, I deliver.

You guys give us a call, okay?

- Is anything else look good down there?

- Yeah, it's all right.

- You don't want any?

The spinach, nothing?

- We got a new food stand
up on auditorium shores.

It's the happy poet you
come check us out, okay?

- Okay.

- It's a food stand,

all right.

- Basil pesto, spinach, mozzarella please.

- Al right, sounds good.

It's a good day.

- Yeah.

- The...

that's a pretty good
idea with the free Coke.

- Did you like that?

- Yeah, it worked out.

- It just kind of came to me, I was like,

what is something that
would have, you know

make people come over here?

- Yeah, it worked out.

- Cool dude.

- I mean next time, we might
want to say something like,

free beverage with the
purchase of a sandwich

or something like that, but I mean-

- That's good.

That's it, dude.

- It's just, you know, a little-

- Hey,

how's the happy poet going?

- Hey, pretty good.

- Alright.

- The...

yeah, the name seems to
be going over pretty well.

- I'm just glad I could
contribute, to the cause.

- Yeah, yeah.

You taking off?

- Yeah, I'm going to catch you guys later.

- Alright.

(scooter engine revs)

- You need some help like closing up?

(scooter engine revs)

(phone rings)

- Hey, what's up dude?

Really?

(scooter engine revs)

- Ready?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Hang on, let me get the box dude.

- All right.

- So that goes through there.

Put it in the front there.

There.

- Is that good?

- You got it?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Good work, okay.

- All right, you good?

- Yeah.

I'll be back in a sec.

- Wait a second.

- You got another one?

- No, here, put that on.

- What is this?

- It's a shirt, I made shirts last night.

- Are you going to wear one?

- Yeah, I'm going to
put it on in a minute.

- All right, all right,
all right, all right.

One day I don't bring my jacket.

- Dude, come on.

- Okay, okay, hang on.

How's it look?

Can't see.

- It looks good, yeah.

- Thanks for the beer.

- It's pretty good.

- Oh yeah dude,

that's good shit.

What's your name, dude?

- Lars.

- Lars,

yeah, dude I remember you.

What's up?

- Not much man, doing pretty
good, I can't complain.

- Cool.

I've actually been looking for some bud.

- Oh yeah?

- [Lars] Yeah, got me?

- There's some pineapple in here too.

- All right, (mumbles)

- Yeah.

Cool, thanks.

- Great, thanks man.

- Yeah.

Hey, how'd it go?

- We're good, dude.

- It's what I like to hear.

(scooter engine revs)

- Hey, I got delivery for John.

- That's me.

(soft piano music)

(scooter engine revs)

- You're not going to find veggies like

that on many sandwiches.

(soft piano music)

(scooter engine revs)

(piano music continues)

- Hey.

- Are you Preston.

- Yeah.

You mighty slow.

(scooter engine revs)

- Thank you, what took you so long?

- It's busy.

- Yeah, I'll have the basil
pesto, spinach mozzarella.

- [Bill] Hi.

- Hey.

- Eggless egg salad please.

- Yeah, cool.

(soft piano music)

- Happy poet food stand,
I helped put it up.

Right over there on the hill, yeah.

(scooter engine revs)

- What you got going on later?

- Oh, I'm working pretty late.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Like what's late?

- Are you the guy that
has the food stand down

at auditorium shores?

The Happy poet.

- Nice to meet you, my name's Bill.

- I'm Donnie, I deliver,
you give me a call.

I'll bring in the good stuff.

(soft piano music)

- Don't worry about it dude.

- Oh, no.

- We're bros, right?

- Sweet.

(piano music)

- You guys like vegetarian food,

come to happy poet food stand.

(scooter engine revs)

- How's the poet doing?

- How's the poet doing?

- Yeah.

- He's happy, 8.50 buddy.

- You can keep it.

- Oh, thanks.

Have a good one.

Man, if it keeps up like this man

I'm going to have to think about

coming for breakfast or something.

- Yeah?

- It's crazy.

- Dude, breakfast tacos.

- Yeah, I can eat breakfast tacos.

I get an urn of coffee,

people stop here on their way to work.

- Oh, you're making me
hungry, you making me hungry.

- I can do a cinnamon roll.

Like people come by here
just for the cinnamon rolls.

- Dude, have you thought about catering?

I mean, there's lots of
businesses around here

and I can promote it while
I'm not doing deliveries.

- Yeah I mean, I guess, yeah.

- Dude, you can make some
serious bank on catering,

like come up with some
like little, you know

lunch boxes or some shit.

- Yeah.

- Hey dude, look who's coming this way.

- I hope they don't step in dog shit.

- So you going to ask her out or what?

(laughs)

- I might yeah, if that
seems right, yeah, maybe.

- If you don't do it, I'm going to do it.

- Why would you ask her out?

- Carpe diem dude.

- Okay.

Yeah.

- Are you...

- I have a plan so, yeah

are you going to ask her
out even though I'm planning

on asking her out?

- Okay, all right, Bill.

I want to see you put this plan in action.

Okay?

- Okay.

- 'Cause you...

hey, what do I always say?

Squeeze the sack man.

- Right, yeah.

- Are you going to squeeze the sack?

- How's it going?

- Yeah, I'm going to.

- Happy poet.

- Yeah, nice, you look good.

You look good.

- Hey, how's it going?

- Hey, you don't have been
telling everyone about your food.

- Cool.

- So, you must be the famous happy poet.

- Yeah, I...

- He's famous.

- Do you guys want something?

- [Agnes] Yeah.

- What's that thing you
were telling me about?

- Oh, the the eggless egg salad.

- [Customer] Yeah, I
want to try one of those.

- It's good.

- [Customer] I will take one of those too.

- Cool.

- Two eggless salads, Bill.

It's good stuff.

- [Agnes] Yeah, it's my favorite.

- Yeah, it's our best seller.

The famous eggless egg salad sandwich.

- Vegetables, did you
want vegetable chips?

You want vegetable chips, right?

- Yeah, yeah, we'll take a bag.

- Okay, cool.

- Curt, what are you doing, man?

- Dude, it's fun, why don't you just...

we can make a circle.

- So, here.

- Don't worry about it.

- No it's okay, I don't
mind paying, really.

- No, go ahead.

You helped think of the name,

it's like I should give you
some commission or something,

and you're bringing your
friends and everything.

- Okay, well, thank you.

- Enjoy the sandwiches and yeah.

- [Agnes] Thanks.

- Enjoy the rest of your day.

- Yeah, you too.

- [Bill] Thanks.

- Take care.

- [Bill] All right, see you guys.

- [Donnie] Bye.

(clears throats)

(upbeat rock music)

- So how do you like your job?

- Well, I don't mind it.

(upbeat music)

Why'd you leave?

- I didn't think it was a very
good place to work, really.

I felt kind of used.

(upbeat music)

I feel like that's why most
people are so preoccupied

with finding the perfect
person to match up with,

pair up with.

- What do you mean?

- Well, if you have someone
that you really like around

all the time, it makes
having a job that you hate

not so bad.

You can go on vacations,

you can go out to dinner,

you can go skiing,

and if you have someone to do it with

and you can talk about how much you

hate your job to them, with them,

they can empathize with
you and agree with you.

Yeah, it's a shitty job,

especially if you both have shitty jobs,

which most people have shitty jobs.

- At least you're doing
something you like,

so I guess you don't have to worry about

all that other stuff, right?

- Oh, me yeah.

No, I was just speaking generally,

I wasn't...

(laughs)

- Oh God,

I'd really like to read some
of your poetry sometime.

(clears throats)

- Hope they made it home all right.

- Oh yeah, I'm sure they did.

I mean, she would have called
if she needed a ride home.

- Yeah, yeah.

- But thanks for the show.

- Yeah, it was fun.

- Yeah, it was.

I guess I'll see you later.

- Yeah, yeah, definitely.

- Next time, I'll have to
read some of that poetry.

- Yeah, definitely.

Definitely.

- Cool.

Well, I guess I'll see you later.

- Yeah, yeah.

I'll see you at park or something.

- Okay, cool.

Well-

- Alright.

- Have a good night.

- Yeah, good night.

- And yeah, see you around.

- See you.

- [Agnes] Bye.

- Bye.

(scooter engine revs)

- Thank you.
- All right.

See you shorty.

- See you shorty.

- I need that shirt.

- Okay, (mumbles)

- Hey, you ever considered
selling tofu dogs?

- I thought about it, but
I'll probably just stick

with this stuff for now,

but I'm going to try it out at some point.

- Cool, I always been a fan.

- Cool.

- Thanks.

- Thanks.

- Come back and see us.

How's it going?

- Good dude, good morning.

- Yeah.
- It's good yeah.

- So, you and Lola get
home all right last night?

- Yeah, yeah we took a cab.

- Cool, cabs are good for...

Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

How'd it go with Agnes?

- Pretty good, pretty good.

Yeah, I think we're going to
maybe hang out again sometime.

- Cool dude,

very cool.

- Yeah.

- Very cool.

(phone rings)

- Happy poet, can I help you?

- 8.50 boss.

- A bargain at any price.

- I'm telling you.

- It's all you, man.

- No change?

- No change, it's all you.

By the way, some of the
guys were looking for some

of that stuff you dropped off last time.

- How much do they want, dude?

- Thank you.

- Thank you,

have a good one.

Oh, hey,

how's it going?

- What'd you cover up the hot dog?

- I was just trying to
personalize the cart a little bit,

up the umbrella and kind of
matches the umbrella now.

- Can I have one of your hot dogs?

- Yeah.

You want a hot dog?

- Yes.

- Okay.

You know it's funny, I'm actually
out of hot dogs right now.

Do you, want something else?

I have some other stuff,

I have some nut or
something you want to...

- Look, I don't know what
you're trying to pull here,

but keep in mind,

our first payment is
due a week from today.

- Yeah, I know,

I'll get you your money.

You don't have to worry about it.

- Good luck, selling this faggy crap.

- Okay,

I have a customer,

so maybe I should help
them for now, but...

Hey, how's it going?

Do you want something?

- Yeah, can I get a hummus peta?

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, have a good one.

- Fucking bombs, man.

- Yeah.

- I mean dude, I guess it's inevitable.

You set up in the park,

you're going to have to
deal with some homeless.

- Yeah, that guy's actually not homeless.

- What does he, a friend
of from the Curtis's?

- No, it's actually it's the
guy bought the cart from.

- Well, what the fuck does
he care what you sell?

- No he's apparently some
kind of hot dog fanatic.

He's thinks I'm soiling
his precious hot dog cart

by actually selling
something healthy out of it.

- Tell the hot dog Nazi to go fuck himself.

- That's basically what I did do.

The only thing that keeps me
from completely telling him

to just go fuck himself is that,

I still owe him a little
bit of money on the cart,

so you know.

(scooter engine revs)

It's been a pretty good day too

so, I could throw in...

Is that your dog?

- Yeah.

- I could throw in some trail
mix for free if you want.

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- I don't have any change,
is that cool with you?

- Yeah, that's cool.

- Alright, that's what
I'm talking about Preston.

Where's your little helper buddy at?

- He said he had some kind of gig today.

- He said what kind of gig?

- No, he just said gig.

- Let me ask you a question, dude.

Why are you giving this
guy free food all the time?

I mean, he just hangs around.

I know he helps you pack
up and shit, but come on.

- Have you ever seen his
little money pouch he has?

- Yeah dude, I've seen it.

- Well, there's never any money in it.

- Why would there be any money dude?

He doesn't have to pay for anything.

- He's probably out scamming
all these fucking businesses

out here getting free...

He's mooching free shit,

he's probably got a route.

- He doesn't have a route.

- What makes you so sure
he didn't have a route?

- You want to know why I don't
mind giving him a little bit

of free food every now and then?

- Yeah, I'd love to know why.

- Well, my first day out here
I had a really shitty day,

I think I sold like a bag
of nuts the whole day.

And this guy shows up
at the end of the day

and he just loves the food.

The fact that he loved the food,

gave me the courage to
come back out the next day.

- Of course he loved dude,

he didn't have to pay for anything.

- No, it was sincere enjoyment.

I could tell watching
him eat it in his face,

how much he liked it and it was real.

- Have you dated like older guys?

Like what's the oldest
guy you've ever dated?

- You don't need to...

we don't need to ask her.

Do you want the usual or-

- Yeah, yeah that'd be great.

So, Lily and I were talking about

maybe going bowling tonight.

- All right, oh, that's cool.

- It was her idea, I'm not
really much of a bowler,

but anyway,

I want to know if maybe you
and Donny wanted to go bowling.

- Bowling sounds like fun, yeah.

- All behind here, all
the back right here.

All right, here we go.

- Hey dude, I'm going
to get another hot dog,

anybody want anything,
Bill you want anything?

- No, I'm good.

- So you good?

All right.

- I'll take a hot dog.

- You sure dude, they're only need a buck.

- All right, here we go, ready?

- I'm ready.

- One, two, three-

- I am kind of hungry.

- That's what I'm talking
about, I'll get you one.

Thanks, dude.

(pins crushing)

- Did you know a hot dog
it's the only beef product

that is not regulated
by the U.S government.

- I didn't know that hot
dogs were beef products.

- Yeah, I thought that they were made

from like sheep's assholes or something.

- That's good.

- Some are made in beef.

- Whatever they're made of,

what is the profit margin for this?

I'm buying it for a dollar, $2, right?

Do you know what it cost
to make this? 8 cents.

That's for the labor and everything.

Slap a bun on it, put a
few condiments on it, boom!

You've got a cash cow.

- Bill, what are you doing?

- Oh, I'm just paying for (mumbles)

- Okay, thanks I'll get the next one.

- Okay, where are you
going with your shoes?

- I guess you could read some right now.

I could run up and get
some and bring it down

and you could take it with you,

read it at home.

- Okay.

- All right.

And-

- You got to get pretty tight?

- You pack it in, yeah, the
bottom part pretty tight,

just do kind of like layers

and then the top part a little bit,

not as tight.

- Wow, impressive.

So is it just like smoking a cigarette or?

- Yeah, you just got to puff
it like that to get it going.

- Okay.

- But, yeah just puff on it

and yeah, it's the best quality tobacco.

It's better and it's more flavorful, yeah.

- Yeah, no, that's nice.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Thanks.

- Yeah, yeah.

- So, did you get something picked up?

- Yeah, I did.

- Well, let's hear it.

What's it called?

- It's called "chasm."

- Chasm,

Peefy, I like it.

- Yeah.

- Short, sweet, to the point.

- Yeah.

(giggles)

(clears throats)

Chasm.

Chasm,

I die every morning when
I wake in the chasm,

I'm born at night when I crawl
inside the chasm and retire,

retire, retire,

bruised buttocks bouncing on my bed,

your bed, my bed,

bruised, your bed bouncing.

When I crawl from your
chasm in the morning,

moist, faded, covered in hair,

I die outside your chasm.

I die.

Your chasm,

your chasm.

Yeah, so that's...

yeah, that's pretty much it.

So?

- Wow.

- I guess the humor didn't
quite jump out at you.

- No, I-

- I have other poems,

if you'd want to-

- You know it's getting late,

I should probably,

I should probably go, just...

- Keep the change?

- Sure why not.

- Sure and I'll see you soon enough.

We can work this out between us.

Thanks man, happy poet, don't forget it.

- Yeah,

it's for last week.

- This right?

- Yeah.

I counted it twice.

- Oh, you did?

- Yeah.

- This is all of deliveries?

- Yeah.

- I guess so, huh?

- Yeah, that's not bad.

- Okay.

- And you make tips, how'd you do on tips?

- Yeah, yeah it's good.

- Do you smile?

- I fucking smile, dude.

- 'Cause you'd make
more tips if you smile.

(inhales)

Oh God, that smells good.

- This card isn't working for you, man.

- Really?

- Yeah, do you have another
one you want to try?

- Yeah, you can try this one.

- This one doesn't seem
to be working either, man.

Sorry about that.

(soft piano music)

- It's pretty good,
that looks pretty good.

- Better dude, cost almost 200 bucks.

- Was grown in a community
garden by disadvantaged children,

delivered here by bicycle.

- It's a matter of priorities.

- All right, we'll tell you what,

I'm going to get the next one, okay?

- Al right, yeah, definitely.

Oh, that's a lot of gas.

- I mean, I'm going everywhere dude.

- Think about the cost to the earth.

- Does it really cost more?

- This actually cost less.

(soft piano music)

- Wow dude, I got to say
I'm a little surprised.

I would have probably just started out

selling hot dogs, dude.

- Yeah.

- But, I will admit you kind of sold me

on the healthy stuff.

- It's not like I want to sell hot dogs.

- And why do it, dude?

I mean, I've always kind of admired you,

for sticking to your guns, you know.

I often say to myself,
this dude's got principles.

I mean, things seem to be
going pretty well, yeah?

(clears throats)

- I actually don't even
have enough money to buy

ingredients for just for tomorrow.

- Wow dude, that sucks.

I didn't realize man.

- I mean, I could do
like one sandwich, but...

- Don't listen to my bullshit, man.

You got to do what you
got to do to get by.

It's like I always say dude,

you got to take life by the sack

before it takes you by the sack.

'Cause it'll squeeze, dude.

You got to be the one doing the squeezing.

- Yeah I mean, that's just
what I'm trying to do now,

be the one doing the squeezing.

It's just...

It doesn't feel very good.

- It's what I'm saying, dude.

I mean, neither option feels good,

but which one feels worse?

It's squeeze be squeezed
dude, that's life man.

- Yeah.

- We all get our nuts in
the vise from time to time.

- Yeah, that's how I feel right now.

My nuts are in a vise.

No mom.

- [Bill's Mom] Will 50 take care of it?

I can-

- 50 should do it, yeah.

- [Bill's Mom] Did you run out of tofu?

- No.

- [Bill's Mom] Do you need
to stock up on anything else?

Like basil or-

- No.

- [Bill's Mom] I think it's really good

that you're selling
healthy food to people.

- Can I get a hummus tabouli peta instead?

- I actually don't have those either.

Yeah I actually just have tofu dogs

and I have a natural
organic all beef hot dog

and then I have just a regular hot dog.

- So you just have hot dogs?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's a long story,

but I just thought I'd try
out a hot dog day, for fun.

- You sell them hot dogs
with with the nitrous in it?

- The nitrates?

- Yeah, nitrates.

You got nitrate hot dogs?

- Yeah, I have some with nitrates.

- Yeah, need two of them motherfuckers.

- You want any change?

- No, keep it.

- Oh cool, thanks.

- Hey.

- Hey, how's it going?

- Okay.

Someone told me you were
doing hot dogs today.

- Yeah, just doing a hot dog day, yeah.

For kicks, pretty much.

- I just wanted to come by

and say thank you for again,
for reading that poem to me.

I know you didn't really want to.

It was really nice,

you putting yourself out there like that.

- Yeah, don't worry about it.

I was glad to do it, yeah.

- But I've been thinking about your poem

and I actually think it
was really, really good.

- Oh, well, thanks.

That's nice of you to say that, yeah.

- Do you want a tofu dog or anything?

And I've got tofu dog.

- Yeah, a tofu dog would be great.

- Do you want anything on it or?

- Mustard and ketchup I guess.

- Okay, cool.

- Yeah, so here you go.

- Oh, thanks.

- Yeah and it's $2.

- Right, yeah, of course.

Oh.

- Do you want me to hold the hot dog?

- No, I got it, it's okay.

Here.

- Thanks.

You forgot your-

- Just keep it.

- She doesn't want her change.

- Two ounces?

- Two ounces.

- Cool dude.

You tell him to call me,

that's on me.

- Same number?

- [Donnie] Yep.

- Thank you, sir.

(scooter engine revs)

- Okay.

There you go, thanks.

Have a good one.

- All coins?

- Yeah.

- There's definitely been
a little bit of a shift

in the clientele,

especially with the walkup business,

but a lot of the same people

who were getting delivery before

are still just getting stuff delivered.

It's-

- Yeah?

- It's kind of weird 'cause...

I mean, how do you go
from healthy organic food

to just a regular hot dog?

- I don't know.

- It seems like you'd at
least get a tofu dog or-

- Maybe they just like
grabbed up in the excitement

of the hot dog day.

Like we were at the bowling alley

it was hot it was Donna dog hot dog day,

we all had hot dogs.

- Yeah, that's true.

I guess I just wonder how
they're going to respond

when they find out
tomorrow is hot dog day too

and the next day and
probably the next day.

- I wouldn't worry too much about it.

- Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Just one sec.

- Where's Donnie?

- I think he's...

I dunno, delivery.

(clears throat)

(scooter engine revs)

- You guys want some help?

I mean-

- I'll get it.

- You want me to load up the cooler?

- Yeah, that stuff can all-

- [Curtis] All this in here?

- You want one of these
before I get rid of them or?

- [Curtis] Oh-

- It's no problem, I can...

- Lord no, I think I have
my hot dog quota for the year

the other day.

- I'll catch you guys later.

- All right, Donnie we'll see you.

- See you.

- I got a bunch of them,
you sure you don't want one?

- I mean hot dogs, they're
kind of have a special occasion

kind of thing, it's like a once a year,

ball game, birthday, 4th of July.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Free hot dog night at the bowling alley.

Do you want to hand me a napkin?

I think this is...

Are you alright?

- Yeah.

Yeah, it's just this whole,

hot dog thing, you know.

- You know hot dog day,

big deal, you had a hot dog day.

Tomorrow will be different,
tomorrow will be back

to the regular menu.

No big deal.

- Yeah.

- [Curtis] Right?

- Yeah.

Tomorrow's a new day.

- Mechanically separated chicken.

- [Man On TV] Hey, why
don't we look at the scenery

through the little telescopes they have.

- [Man On TV] All right.

- Thanks.

Hey, how's it going?

- How's it going?

- Pretty good.

- I was hoping to order a delivery.

- Okay, yeah.

You don't want to just-

- I was actually looking
for the really green stuff.

- Are you thinking of the the
basil pesto spinach sandwich?

Yeah, I actually don't have that today.

- What do you have?

- I've got tofu dogs

and then just regular hot dogs.

You're probably not interested in that.

- So you just have the brown swag stuff?

- Yeah, I mean I guess you
could you could say that.

I'm not a happy about it, to be honest.

- I don't blame you.

- Hopefully I mean, I'd like to start

selling that stuff again.

- Definitely let me know.

I'm interested in getting
some and I probably get a lot.

- That's good to know.

Yeah, are you thinking of
some kind of a catering

or something like that or?

- I know your friend Donnie,

he stopped by a couple of times and-

- Oh yeah, yeah, for like delivery.

- Yeah, my name's Randy, by the way.

- I'm Bill.

Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah, I'll talk to Donnie and yeah,

we can probably set something up.

- Yeah, can't wait, man.

Well-

- Cool.

- See you then.

- Yeah, take care.

I'll see ya.

That's cool.

- Lets see that over here.

Pickles look really nice.

So I didn't know you were selling pot.

(scooter engine revs)

- How'd the delivery go.

- Went good.

- Someone stopped by,

to order a delivery a little while ago.

- Oh yeah, you got it ready?

- No, I didn't have what they wanted so,

- Right.

- They wanted to some really green stuff,

his name was Randy.

Is that ringing a bell at all or?

- I've been selling weed
for a long time, dude.

- Fucking spend all
this money, making food

I think people like, it's good food.

Apparently, no one's
buying it for the food.

- Dude, people eat your food.

- I've been sitting here
like a fucking dumb ass dude.

Fucking taking deliveries

and yeah, I'll send it right over.

And you're here running
around your scooter, man.

Running around in your
fucking scooter, making money,

I'm selling fucking hot dogs, dude.

Fucking hot dogs.

You know What?

You can have the fucking cart, man.

- Dude, you can't leave the cart.

Dude, you can't leave
the fucking cart here.

- You're not the happy poet?

- No.

- It's too bad, it's really good food.

- You order delivery?

- Yeah, it's pretty good.

I like the hot dogs.

(background TV noise)

(soft piano music)

(bangs door)

(background TV noise)

- Dude, it's me Donnie.

I heard the TV dude.

- Someone parked your hot dog
cart in front of the stairs,

if you can move it out,
I'll appreciate it.

- Come on, I just want to
talk to you for a second.

Look, if there's anything I
can do to make it up to you,

I will, man.

- Oh, you want to make it up to me?

- Yeah.

- You want to know what you can do?

You can go back in time and not betray me.

How's that work?

That work for you?

You can't can you?

'Cause you don't have a time machine.

- Dude, what if I help
you pay off the cart?

- Oh, you want to help
me pay off the cart now?

Now that my business is in the toilet,

that's good,

- Dude, I didn't put your fucking business

in the toilet, man.

If anything, I helped your business.

You don't know how to run
a fucking business, dude,

all that free fucking
food you're giving away.

- Those are called free samples

in case you, had never heard of them.

They're pretty well known
part of business promotion

but I can see why you
wouldn't understand them

because you're basically a selfish person,

all that stuff about
squeezing life by the stack,

I can see what you mean now.

It's just, unfortunately I
happen to be the poor sap

who's nuts you put in a vise this time.

- Dude, I didn't put your
nuts in a vise, okay?

If anything, you put
your own nuts in a vice.

- How did I put my own nuts in a vise?

What happens if I get arrested?

- You're not going to get arrested.

- Oh really?

Can you, guarantee that?

- No dude, I can't guarantee that.

- Yeah, I didn't think that you could,

so I'm going to go inside
now if that's all right,

but thanks for stopping
by, I appreciate it.

(phone rings)

- Hello?

Hey, what's up dude?

Yeah.

Where are you at?

(knocks door)

- Oh, hey man. (laughs)

How's it going?

- It's good dude, what's up?

- What's up?

- Do you live here?

- No, no, no, no, it's my folks house.

Come on in, come on in.

I just come here when I want to
go swimming, I live downtown.

Come on.

Hey, I was just about to
take a dip in the pool,

you want to come join me?

- No.

- You sure man, I'm sure I
could find some suits for you.

(laughs)

All right, here you go.

I just thought it would be,

kind of rude to insist on paying,

it'd be like a slap in the
face, do you know what I mean?

Well, he must've worked that
into the startup costs, right?

Of doing business, a couple of
free samples here and there.

- No.

- Oh, wow.

- I'm trying to put together
a little bit of money,

to help him pay off his cart, dude.

- Well, I could chip in.

I mean I could,

you think that would help?

- It would definitely help out, man.

(laughs)

- I mean, he's really like...

I was just...

I mean...

- Yeah man, I kind of
feel like an asshole too.

- All right, I have a confession to make.

- Is it that you're rich dude?

- All right, so I've been doing research

for my brother-in-law and
he's a venture capitalist.

He's actually kind of an asshole,

but anyhow, he's trying to
get in good with my sister.

I don't know what he did,

but he's saying that I have good ideas

and he's trying to help me out,

he wants to get something started

and he says he believes in me,

but he doesn't believe in me.

But why look a gift horse
in the mouth, right?

I mean-

- What the fuck are you telling me, dude?

- Okay, I'm going to pitch him

the happy poet food stand, right?

I mean, it would be bigger, right?

It'd be bigger,

a bigger operation, don't
you think that's a good idea?

I mean, I haven't worked
all the details out exactly,

but I think it'd be really cool.

- So let me get this straight dude,

you've been hanging out at the food stand,

getting ideas for business
that you want to start?

- Okay, it's not like I'm
going to steal his idea, okay?

I'm just going to bring him on
as a consultant or a partner,

yeah, you know?

- You don't think this is fucked up dude?

- And you, you too, there
can be something for you,

like a partner, be like three partners.

Let's split it down the middle.

(water splashing)

(laughs)

You sure don't want to take a swim man?

- No, I'm all right.

- You sure? You can
wear my dad's suit, man?

He's got all kinds of suits.

- What time was your
brother-in-law supposed to stop by?

- Oh, well we didn't actually say a time.

I just said we'd be out in the back,

swimming in the afternoon.

- You have any beer?

Fucking dumb asses.

- Hey?

- Hey.

- Is that Curtis?

- Yeah.

- I'm Derek.

- Hey, I'm Bill.

- Good to meet you,
are you the happy poet?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Cool, I've heard a lot about you.

- Oh, cool.

- So, yeah, I guess I'm
here to talk to you about

this business plan,

for this restaurant, food stand thing.

I think it's huge potential,

this green, organic, natural market.

- Yeah, I agree, yeah.
- Yeah.

Curtis tells me your food
stands really taken off.

- Yeah, it has, yeah.

- Great, that's awesome.

Well, you know I think you're
doing it the right way,

starting small, figure out
how to reduce overhead,

testing the market, that's good.

- Yeah, that's basically
what I've been doing, yeah.

- You know a lot of people skip that step.

- Yeah, that's crazy.

- So, you're doing the right thing,

just keep at it,

you got to get your ducks in a row,

do your due diligence, get
some capital behind you

and then just bang!

Just start small, start
in your neighborhood,

take over the market there,

take over the market in half your town,

your area of town and
then the whole market.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

That's the way to do it,

and if you don't, someone
else is going to do it,

they're going to take your model

and use it for themselves

and why let somebody
get rich off your ideas?

You want to know why? I'll tell you why.

- Yeah, yeah.

- You let somebody get rich off your ideas

because you don't believe in them enough

to put your money where your mouth is.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I can see that, yeah.

- Let me ask you a question though,

do you believe in the happy poet?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

- That wasn't very convincing Bill.

- That wasn't very convincing?

I believe in the happy poet.

I believe in the happy poet
more than you could know, Derek,

you have no idea how much I
believe in the happy poet.

I think it's the food
stand of the fucking future

and I have put my money where my mouth is.

If that's not good
enough for you, so be it.

I'm not going to stand here and
take a bunch of shit from you

just because you call
yourself a venture capitalist

or whatever.

I don't even know what that is.

Do you want to invest in the
happy poet, capture the market?

Do whatever else you're
talking about, great.

You want to stand around
and talk a bunch of shit

to appease your wife,

blow a bunch of smoke up
Curtis's ass, that's fine too.

I don't really give a shit.

Just remember, I'm the happy
poet motherfucker, not you.

(soft piano music)

(pool water splashing)

(soft piano music)

(knocks door)

Hey, how's it going?

I was just going to
see if I could go ahead

and pay off the cart, if that's cool.

I got...

it's all here with
interest and everything.

I actually don't need the cart anymore,

so I went ahead and
just left it over there,

by the garage.

Thanks for doing that,
the monthly payment plan.

That was a big help, so yeah.

Take care and oh, someone
apparently took a shit

in one of the trays.

I'm not sure how that happened,

but yeah, you might
want to clean that out.

- Yeah, come in.

- Hi,

I don't know if you remember me,

I was here.

- You food stand, right?

- Yeah, yeah, I-

- How it been?

- Pretty good.

I actually thought I
would go ahead and pay off

that loan if I could, if that's okay.

It's got the interest
and everything in there.

- Really?

- But yeah, things are
working out, pretty well.

I got some money together,

I figured I'd go ahead and pay that off.

I just want to say thanks

for, believing in me

and, you know, 'cause
without that $750 loan,

none of this would've been possible.

- Okay, wow.

- Yeah, so I'll just let
you get back to work.

But yeah, thanks again.

Oh, I almost forgot,

I think you're a really nice
guy, you're a standup guy.

But quite frankly, you hurt
my feelings with that loan.

Nobody could run a business on that

and I basically just got lucky,

I got lucky, that's all that happened.

(soft piano music)

- We almost ran out of eggless
salad sandwiches again.

- Again?

- Again.

- That's good, that's very good.

Now we just have to
figure out how to almost

run out of everything.

I guess we can make less,

but that almost be too easy.

Yeah, I'm going to take this back for you.

- Oh, that'd be great, thanks.

- Yeah.

- Hey, what's the chance of
getting a smoothie over here?

(soft music)

- I better get back to work.

- All right, see you later.

- See you.

- Hey how are you all doing?

- Hey where's Donnie at?

- I don't know, probably
working his ass off,

like the rest of us, right?

- Well tell him to get that ass back here,

with my milkshake.

- Okay, I will do that.

I'll tell him you're looking
for that shake if I see him.

- That's right.

- All right, take her easy.

She's got some spice.

- This is tall order,
that is one taller order.

(soft music)

I wouldn't-

- Donnie boy has got his hands full.

- He's got his hands full for sure.

(soft music)

- What time is your
brother-in-law stopping by?

- Well, we didn't actually say what time.

So how's everything folks?

(soft music)

- Hey, are you forgetting something?

- Hey, hey.

Hey, what's up Bill?

- Hey, I thought he was
forgetting something.

Hey-

- Hey, remember to signal, hand signals.

- Hey, strap that on.

- Sorry about that.

I'm always telling them
to wear their helmet

but, you know?

- Yeah it's al right, I
probably wouldn't either.

- What's up?

- Hey Donnie.

- Yeah.

- What do you think?

- Looks good.

- Man, seems like just
yesterday we were out

in the park selling whatever we could out

of that shitty ass hot dog cart.

- Yeah.

- It's just crazy how
fast things can change.

- Yeah.
- Al right.

Happy poet handshake.

- Handshake.

- Happy, poet, huh?

(laughs)

- I don't think I've ever
been this happy before.

(soft music)

(mumbles)

- Hey, you guys thanks for coming out.

It's good seeing you.

- Thank you.

- That taste good?

Good, are you done with this?

Okay cool.

(soft piano music)

- Hey so two Belgians.

- Yeah

- Curtis you in?

- Yeah, yeah.

You make it three dude.

- You got it buddy.

(soft piano music)

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