The Flintstones (1994) - full transcript
The Flintstones and the Rubbles are modern stone-age families. Fred and Barney work at Slate and Company, mining rock. Fred gives Barney some money so he and Betty can adopt a baby. When Fred and Barney take a test to determine who should become the new associate vice president, Barney returns the favor by switching his test answers for Fred's, whose answers aren't very good. Fred gets the executive position, but little does he know that he's being manipulated by his boss to be the fall guy for an embezzlement scheme.
Come on, you lazy Cro-Magnon!
Ohh!
Hey! Back to work! You guys
had a break two days ago!
Come on, now!
Come on, Sheba! That's my big girl!
Look at those pathetic worms
burrowing their lives away.
Do you know why I'm up here and
they're down there, Miss Stone?
Because you lied on your resume?
No.
Because I have vision.
And right now I have a
vision of you and me...
Dripping with coconut oil
on a beach in Rocapulco...
With Mr. Slate's fortune
to keep us company.
I'm glad we see eye to eye.
And somewhere down there
is the ignorant stooge
who will make all my
schemes come true.
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the
family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
The captain has just turned
on the seat belt sign...
Signaling our descent
into the Bedrock area.
On your left, you'll be able to see the
Grand Canyon in about 15,000,000 years.
K-A-V-E
Radio Bedrock
The KAVE accu-forecast for tonight
calls for light seismic activity.
And a 20 percent chance
of meteor showers.
Quick traffic update, due to lava flows,
Highway One will be closed... Forever!
K-A-V-E
Molten Oldie
Sow belly, pot of beans
Tie a rope around your jeans
Tell your mom not to wait
You ain't coming home too late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch
There's a town I know where
the hipsters go called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get that itch
you can do the Twitch
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the Twitch is fine
Have yourself a time
In Bedrock
Drum solo!
Hey! Watch it, will ya?
Finally got my hair the way I like it.
I'm so excited, Fred.
I'm gonna be a father.
It's like a dream come true.
A son. Someone to carry on
the proud name of Rubble.
Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
Well, you're bound to find
something you're good at.
Yeah, sure... Hey!
- Uncle!
- Heh, heh, heh.
You know, Fred, Betty and
I really owe it all to you.
We would've never qualified to adopt had
it not been for the money you gave us.
Remember, Barn,
that's between you and me.
I'd like to tell the world what
a great guy my best buddy is!
No, no, no!
True, it was a selfless, noble act,
if I do say so myself.
My only reward will
be your happiness.
I don't need to go blabbin'
my good deeds all around.
You're afraid to tell
Wilma, aren't you?
Afraid? Now, let's get
this straight, Rubble.
I don't need permission from
my wife to make a decision.
In my cave, I reign supreme!
Su-preme!
- I won't tell her, Fred.
- Thanks, pal.
Hiya, Timmy!
Here you go! Shoot, shoot, shoot!
Hey, Charlie!
- Huh?
- Wilma!
I'm home!
No, Dino! No, no! No, Dino! Bad boy!
Bad dog!
- Good doggie!
- Bad Dino breath.
Fred!
Do you have to get Dino so
wound up when you come home?
It's not my fault. Maybe he'd
calm down if we had him fixed!
What?
Here comes the big Daddysaurus!
How was your day, dear?
I think my Brontocrane's
pregnant again.
I tell ya,
you forget to lock her
up one Saturday night...
- Comfortable, Fred?
- On my way.
All I need's a brew and a good scratch.
Which one do you want to do first?
It does my heart good
to see you relaxing
after a hard day at the quarry.
I'm telling you, I married
the pick of the litter.
Fred, our garbage disposal
has been acting up a lot lately,
so I decided that it was
time to buy a new one.
But when I went to take money
out of our savings account...
- Guess what?
- New garbage disposal?
New garbage disposal? Why throw
good money down the drain?
There's nothing wrong with this one.
All right, you. Say "ahh."
Uh-uh.
Do you have any idea why there's
no money in our savings account?
There's your problem right there.
All right, you! Spit it out!
Where's the money, Fred?
Something happened to it.
There, I said it.
We have scrimped and
saved for that money.
And every time we get ahead,
you have to go blow it on
some hare-brained scheme!
Now, see here, Wilma!
In this cave, I am the king!
- And...
- And what, Fred?
And you have every right
to know, my queen.
I gave it to Barney.
You what?
I know I should've consulted you,
but Barney Rubble's my neighbor,
my lodge brother
and my best friend since the first
time I went through the fifth grade!
Fred Flintstone!
Wilma, without that money, they
wouldn't be allowed to adopt a baby.
So go ahead, yell,
scream, let the fur fly.
Give the neighbors
something to talk about!
What you have just done
for the Rubbles...
Is the sweetest, most
generous thing I ever heard.
And I adore you for it.
Mmm.
I also bought a new bowling ball.
Wait! Come on, honey!
- Watch your step.
- Sit down.
All right, all together, folks.
Betty, sit down and relax.
Oh, I can't, Wilma. It just hit me.
From now on, I'll be
spending 24 hours a day
attending to the every need
of a helpless little boy.
Then again, maybe it won't be
such a big adjustment after all.
Fred!
And promise you won't say anything like
you did when you saw my sister's baby.
The kid had a tail. Was I supposed
to pretend I didn't notice?
Hello, Mommy and Daddy! I have
someone who wants to meet you!
Well, it's not exactly
what we pictured, but...
- We'll love him like he was our own.
- No, no, no.
This little fellow belongs
to the Hendersons.
- So glad you'll be nursing.
- Congratulations.
Mr. and Mrs. Rubble,
this is your little boy.
Barney, isn't he precious?
Precious? They'd have been
better off with the monkey.
Fred!
- Does he have a name?
- Bamm-Bamm.
- Is that short for somethin'?
- Bamm-Bamm-Bamm.
You'll have to take it
slowly with this one.
He doesn't speak yet, and he's
a little skittish around humans.
But then again, I would be too if I
had been raised by wild mastodons.
Mastodons?
Let's not nitpick.
A mammal's a mammal.
Well, sounds to me like all
he needs is a little lovin'.
Ohh.
Come here, little guy.
Aah! He growled.
It's cute.
It's okay, little guy.
I'm your da-da.
Bamm-Bamm!
Oh! Barney!
- Oh, Betty!
- Bamm-Bamm! No!
Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm, wait!
Stalactite, stalagmite
Hold your baby very tight
- Come back!
- Come here, little guy!
- Bamm-Bamm! Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
- Ohhh!
Rock with the caveman
Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm!
Roll with the caveman
Shake to the caveman
Break with the caveman
Oof!
Make with the caveman
Okay, give me a C-A-V-E
Whoa!
M-A-N, Caveman
Whoa!
What an arm!
"And Cinderocka married
the handsome prince, and...
"And they lived happily ever after."
Yeah!
Okay, Brother Flintstone,
we need a strike to win.
Can you do it?
Is the Earth flat?
- Come on, Freddie!
- Come on, hit it!
Come on, twinkle toes.
Fred!
- Waka-waka-woo!
- Waka-waka-woo!
- Wooga-wooga-wee!
- Wooga-wooga-wee!
Piki-piki-piki! Poki-poki-poki!!
Ahhhhhhhh-oooh!
Lava juice!
Hey, can I have everybody's
attention, please?
I would like to propose a toast
to not only a great bowler,
but a great human being.
And no offense to you guys.
"Since I was just a lad often,
I've had the very bestest friend.
"He may be big, he may be loud,
"so you'll never lose him in a crowd.
"But for my friend
the special part...
"Is what's behind his ribs...
His heart."
"I owe my son to him, and now...
"I stand before my peers and vow...
"I'll pay him back,
someday, somehow."
The end.
- That was beautiful, Barn.
- I meant every word of it, Fred.
- Care to join me in a cold one?
- Love to.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Ohh!
No.
Look at him.
Drunk as a skunkosaurus.
Aaaah!
Mother, I can handle this.
What's that old fossil doing here?
Did the tar pits back up again?
Well, somebody has to be here looking
after my daughter and grandchild...
While you're out carousing
with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Oh, really?
Well, for your information,
the lodge no longer
accepts Neanderthals.
He robs your nest egg to bail
out that little troll next door
while my daughter has to
wash her clothes in the river.
- I got half a mind...
- Oh, don't flatter yourself.
That's it! Where's my club, Wilma?
You just try it, fatso!
- If you was a man, I'd knock you...
- Enough! Mother! Fred!
You two should be
ashamed of yourselves!
I've got my hands full
just being ashamed of him.
You got your hands full
when you scratch your neck!
Stop it!
Both of you!
Mother, Fred is a loving
husband and a good provider.
Oh, really? What has he ever
provided you besides shade?
Oh, Wilma.
You could've married
Elliot Firestone,
the man who invented the wheel.
Instead you picked Fred Flintstone,
the man who invented the excuse.
Let me tell you something, Pearl.
I'm not going to be a nobody all my life.
One of these days, I'm gonna be
a somebody, a real somebody!
We'll live in luxury, and Wilma
will have everything she deserves.
When that day comes,
you'll be so busy eatin' crow
you'll be passing
feathers for a month!
Oh, you poor, poor dear.
And when I think of all the
sacrifices your father made for you.
Lambs, oxen,
your brother Jerry.
- Well...
- Oh, Wilma.
Do your mother a favor.
Just call Elliot Firestone.
Even if things don't work out,
he can give you a great
deal on some tires.
- Yes, Mother.
- Byesie-bye.
I'll show her. I'll show everybody.
I know you will, Fred.
- Call me fatso.
- Let's get some sleep.
Hey, what's the special?
This job sucks.
- What you got today?
- Lizard and onions. Want half?
Sure.
I hear that eatin' too much
red meat is bad for you.
What a load of bunk.
My father ate it every day of his life,
he lived to the ripe old age of 38.
Your attention please.
May I have your attention!
I have a very important
announcement to make.
You found out why the guys
in pit six are losing their hair?
Yes!
And we are currently in the process of
refuting the results of that investigation.
But today I am here
to formally announce the creation
of Slate and Company's
executive placement program.
Hold your questions, please.
That's right, this Saturday an
aptitude test will be given,
granting one of you the opportunity
to crawl out of the primordial
ooze and be somebody.
A vice president at
Slate and Company,
with an obscene salary
and a shiny nameplate.
Ooh.
Good luck, and may
the best biped win.
An executive? This is my
chance to be somebody.
Be somebody.
Whee!
Higher, Bamm-Bamm, higher!
Higher! Higher!
Whee!
- Wilma.
- Hmm?
How did you get rid of the
ring around the collar?
By washing Fred's neck.
Hmm. You know, if Fred scores
the highest on that test,
you'll be able to hire someone
to do your laundry for you.
If Fred scores the highest on that test,
I'll have to hire someone to revive me.
Oh, it's true,
Fred's no Albert Einstone.
- But you never know, he may surprise you.
- Whee!
Well, maybe.
- He has been studying day and night.
- Whee!
I know! I've never
seen him so excited
about something you couldn't
spread mayonnaise on.
Barn, I've been thinking
about this executive job.
It's not me.
Cooped up inside some
swank office all day,
kissing the big shot's feet.
Not Fred Flintstone.
Why, good afternoon, Mr. Vandercave.
My, that's a handsome pelt
you're wearing today.
Thank you.
Your attention, please!
Please take your seats.
And welcome.
You will have one hour
to complete the exam.
Please carve all answers with
a well-sharpened No. 2 chisel.
On behalf of Slate and Company,
I want to wish you all
the very best of luck.
Let's begin.
Eeee!
Ohh.
Chisels down.
Please slide your answer slab
into the numbered envelope provided
and stack them neatly on my desk.
Psst! Hey, Fred! How'd you do?
How'd I do? How'd I do?
- You want me to take that up for you?
- Yeah. Thanks, pal.
"And I stand before my peers and vow,
"I'll pay him back,
someday, somehow."
Well, Cliff, the test results are in.
And our unsuspecting dupe is?
Believe it or not, the one who scored
the highest was Fred Flintstone.
- That big ape?
- No, the big ape got a 65.
Flintstone? Oh, this can't be right!
He must have cheated.
He's dense, he's witless...
He's perfect.
The results of the exam
were very competitive,
and just because an
applicant was not selected...
ls no indication of lack of ability.
- I am pleased to announce...
- I know a kiss-off when I hear one. Let's go.
That the newest member
of our executive rank
is Mr. Fred Flintstone!
- Huh?
- Barney, quick. What's my name?
- Fred Flintstone!
- Don't toy with me, Barney.
You did it, Fred! You made it!
Yabba-dabba-dabba-doo!
Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
Good morning, Mrs. Vice President.
Oh, Dino! Oh, Dino, no!
- Hey!
- Mmm!
Atta baby!
Oh...
Good boy, Dino.
Well, how do I look?
Daddy pretty.
It's perfect!
Yeah. Snazzy.
What am I gonna call
you now? Boss? Chief?
No, a simple "Your Highness" will do.
No, Barn.
I'm not gonna be one of these guys that
makes it then forgets where he came from.
The first thing I'm gonna do is get
everyone in the quarry some vacation time.
And maybe a health plan
with free foot care.
I'd settle for them little packets
of ketchup for the lunch room.
- I'm only one man.
- Not from the back.
Hey, hey.
Well, I guess this is it,
Mr. Flintstone.
Go get 'em, big guy.
- Hey, Barn.
- Yeah, Fred?
Could you spot me a couple
bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
You're right, Fred.
Nothing's changed.
Welcome aboard, Flintstone!
We're glad you're here. Nice suit!
You know, Fred, any gravel brain
can shovel rock down in
the quarry, but up here...
- Do you know what we do up here?
- Me and the guys have always wondered.
We interface, Flintstone.
We strategize, analyze,
conceptualize, prioritize...
When do we eat?
Fred, until this moment I wasn't
sure we'd picked the right man.
Now I'm certain.
Fred Flintstone,
you've arrived.
- This is my office?
- That's right.
- This is my chair?
- Mmm-hmm.
Not to throw too much
at you on your first day,
but this big thing here is your desk.
- My desk?
- Watch out for your fingers in the drawers.
Am I interrupting?
Not at all. Fred, I'd like you
to meet your new secretary,
- Miss Sharon Stone.
- My secretary?
Personal secretary, Mr. Flintstone.
That is, of course, if you want me.
Great.
Well, I'm sure the two of
you would like to get...
Better acquainted.
Mr. Flintstone, I'd like you to know
that I enjoy working
long hours, late nights,
even weekends.
So feel free to use me
however you see fit.
Now, can I get you anything?
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- How would you like it?
- In a cup?
Bold choice, Mr. Flintstone!
You'll go far in this company.
Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf.
We can prioritize, conceptualize
and, uh... Tenderize.
Executively yours, Fred Fli... Ah!
Are there six or seven
"I"s in "Fli... Ah"?
- Who said that?
- It was I, your dictabird.
- Dicta-what?
- Dictabird. Read my beak.
"Cliff, let's play golf.
"We can prioritize, conceptualize
and, uh, tenderize."
Wow. Wow!
Mr. Flintstone, I'd like to warn
you that management positions
are fraught with peril.
Whenever you find yourself
in a befuddled state,
I urge you to avail yourself
of my experience and sage advice.
Oh, really?
Listen, birdie, let's get the
pecking order straight here.
Hmm.
I don't need any help from you.
I'm Vice President of...
Of, uh...
Industrial procurement.
How about that? Excuse me.
Hey, guys!
Guess what I am!
Vice President of
Industrial Procurement!
Oy! Whew.
Yeah.
There. I'm all done with
the requisition forms.
What do you think?
It's perfect.
Looks just like the real one.
Mr. Flintstone, you are about to
embezzle a great deal of money.
Unfortunately, for you,
we get to keep it.
We can have Flintstone
sign these right away.
Not just yet.
Creatures like this
Flintstone are primitive,
prone to irrational
bouts of integrity.
We've got to make absolutely
certain he'll do whatever we say.
Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth.
"Fred is the greatest
bowler on Earth."
Now you talk, and see how
much I can remember.
Workin' hard?
Okay, Fred, are you ready for
your first executive action?
Ready and willing. Whatever
you need, consider it done!
Good! I want you to
fire Bernard Rubble.
Done... What? Fire Barney? Why?
Well, for starters, he scored the lowest
on the management aptitude test.
He's an imbecile. The company can't afford
to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
But, Mr. Vandercave,
he's got a new kid, a mortgage.
I'm his best friend. I can't.
Fred...
If you don't fire him,
I will.
And then I'll fire you.
Come on, Fred,
usually you're yakkin' my ear off,
but today you haven't said two words.
Something exciting must
have happened up there.
- You don't want to know, Barn, believe me.
- Sure I do, Fred.
You're the first one of us to
make it out of that quarry.
Look at me.
I'll probably be working
there the rest of my life.
No, you won't, Barn.
Take my word for it.
Come take a look... It's a dish in
the shower, you keep the soap in it.
Barney, there's something
we gotta talk about.
Yeah, yeah. Later, Fred.
Surprise!
Way to go, Fred!
- Wilma, you shouldn't have.
- Hmm?
I didn't. This was all
Barney and Betty's idea.
Aren't we lucky to have
friends like them, Fred?
Ohh!
There he is!
There's my big, handsome son-in-law!
Have you lost weight?
Have we met?
Can I have everybody's
attention, please?
I've got something I'd like to say.
I hope it's not another poem.
Fred... Betty, Bamm-Bamm
and I could not be happier,
- even if it was me that got that job.
- Aww!
So we got a little something to
show how proud of you we are.
Congratulations, big guy!
Barney, I can't accept this.
- Sure, you can.
- No, I can't. Take it back.
- We can't. We had your initials branded on it.
- It's yours, Fred.
- No, it's not!
- Fred, what's wrong with you?
It's a lovely gift.
- He's thrilled to receive it. Aren't you, Fred?
- No!
- Don't you like the color?
- It's not the briefcase, it's not the color.
- I just can't take anything from you.
- But, Fred...
Take a hike, shorty.
My Freddie doesn't
want that tacky thing.
- How come, Fred?
- Because you can't afford it, Barn.
Sure I can, pal.
Not anymore.
- You're fired.
- Fired?
Well!
Let's not let a little thing
like this spoil the party!
Conga line!
Conga! Conga!
Don't worry about me, Fred.
I've been working in that quarry
since it was eight feet deep.
Atta boy!
There could be a whole new
world opening up for me.
Maybe I'll take in that
franchise show this weekend.
That's the spirit.
There's just one thing I gotta know.
After all these years,
how come they're canning me?
Barn,
you're a wonderful father,
a loving husband,
a hard worker,
and one heck of a little bowler.
But, Barn, none of that
counts on an aptitude test.
You got the lowest score, pal.
The lowest score?
Wilma, that is beautiful!
- Well, I have always wanted...
- You can't catch me!
- A Halstone original.
- Mmm.
- Ohh!
- Now, Wilma, don't be silly!
Your husband's a big executive.
You can afford it.
Charge it!
Bamm-Bamm!
Ohh! Bamm-Bamm!
- No!
- Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
Gentlemen, please. I cannot
endorse this modernization...
if it means laying off
all those workers.
Some have been here since
the beginning of time.
What if I could
quadruple your income?
I'll miss them. You were saying?
Sorry I'm late. I had car trouble.
Picked up a nail.
Thank you for sharing
that, Mr. Flagstone.
May we continue?
Mr. Slate. Gentlemen.
I have a vision.
While our competitors are
mired in the Stone Age,
I give you... The future!
- Ohh.
- Slate and Company
will revolutionize the
building industry...
By providing simple,
low-cost, modular housing units.
Impossible, you say?
Let me demonstrate.
Through the miracle
of geothermal power,
the raw material is elevated
to the second stage,
where our steam-powered
conveyor belt carries...
Steam?
He's a madman!
Steam-powered conveyor belts...
Carry the product to be
shaped, cleaned, inspected
and delivered to discerning
consumers worldwide.
And did I mention increasing
our profit margin...
- Fourfold?
- Very impressive, Mr. Vandercave.
Very impressive. I think we should
implement this system immediately.
Yes?
Excuse me, Mr. Slate.
I know I'm the new man here,
but I don't think you hired me
to sit around and look pretty.
I hate to bust your bubble,
but if you build houses this small,
who's gonna live in 'em?
- Excuse me. Mrs. Rubble?
- Yes.
There seems to be a slight
problem with your credit carol.
Really? And what would that be?
It's no damn good!
I have never been so
embarrassed in my entire life.
- Go and play, children.
- Wilma, I promise you I'll pay you back.
- I just don't know when.
- Oh, now, Betty.
- It can't be as bad as all that.
- But it is.
Barney's still out of work, we've
nearly spent all of our savings.
And, Wilma, what if the
adoption agency finds out?
I don't want to lose my baby.
I swear, Betty, Fred and I
would never let that happen.
- Oh, Wilma.
- Oh, Betty.
Pterodactyl alert!
Mommy, help!
- Ow, yuck!
- Ew!
And in conclusion, Mr. Slate,
I feel a paid vacation for everyone
in the quarry would raise morale
and increase productivity,
um, um... A whole bunch!
Sincerely yours,
Frederick J. Flintstone.
Shall I make that "Flagstone,"
so he'll know who it's from?
My, don't we look handsome today?
Thank you.
Here are today's batch
of requisitions.
- All marked and ready for your signature.
- Okay.
You know, Miss Stone,
I've been signing stacks of these for weeks,
and I hate to pry, but what are they?
Oh, just tiny little forms
so that we can pay the contractors
working on the modernization.
We remodeled our kitchen
a couple of years ago,
and let me tell you,
contractors can be real pirates.
- I'm gonna read these over.
- No!
You're much too busy
for that, Mr. Flintstone.
Besides,
reading is my job.
You wouldn't want to
put poor little old me
out of work, now, would you?
No.
Your wife. Mmm-mmm.
- Your wife.
- My wife. Wilma?
- Wilma! What a surprise!
- So it would seem.
Miss Stone, I'd like you to
meet my wife Mrs. Flagstone...
And our daughter, um... Um, um, um...
Isn't she beautiful? My family.
- I've heard so much about you.
- Well, I wish that I could say the same.
That'll be all, Miss Stone.
I'll sign those documents and
place them on your desk.
Whatever you want.
- Your secretary is very attractive.
- Really? I hadn't noticed.
Did I mention she chisels
18 words a minute?
Hmm.
Hey, Wilma, did ya
ever see one of these?
My wife is the most
beautiful gal in Bedrock.
"My wife is the most
beautiful gal in Bedrock."
Nice try, Fred.
"Nice try, Fred."
Fred! I've come to talk about
the Rubbles' troubles.
Hasn't Barney found a job yet?
It's gotten so bad, they've had to rent
out their house just to make ends meet.
Really. Where are they gonna live?
So glad you're over your cold.
Thank you.
Isn't this nice, Betty?
The Flintstones and the
Rubbles, all under one roof.
Yes, but this is such an imposition.
Are you sure it's okay with Fred?
Oh, absolutely.
As a matter of fact,
he thinks it was his idea.
- Hey, Freddie, a couple of cool ones.
- Oh, yeah.
How about it, Barn?
- Flintstones and Rubbles under one roof.
- But it's only temporary.
It'd better be.
- It'd better be!
- Yeah!
Ah, Barn, I admire ya.
You've lost your job, your dignity,
but not your sense of humor.
Hey, cut it out, Fred!
You like your steak rare?
- Yeah.
- That one's yours.
Hey, hey, stop! Come here,
you purple rodent!
Don't forget to wash that
off before you eat it!
Come here! Give me that!
Help! Somebody!
Flintstone gets the rock.
He sets his shot. He shoots!
Oh!
Oh! Oh, boy.
Miss Stone, what a pleasant surprise.
Oh. What happened here?
- That's what I'd like to know!
- I'll get someone to fix it.
Oh, Miss Stone?
Before you go, there's
something bothering me...
- About this new system we're putting in here.
- Oh?
Yeah. I don't pretend
to understand it all,
but wouldn't this put a lot
of my guys out of work?
How would I know?
I'm just a little ol' secretary.
Are you kiddin' me? You're smart!
I could tell that right off.
There's a lot more to you
than you... Er... Uh...
- You... I mean...
- Thank you.
I sure hope I didn't get you into too much
trouble with your wife the other day.
Nah. Wilma always forgives me.
She knows I love her.
- And you do, don't you?
- Are you kiddin"?
I'll never forget, the first time I met
her she was working at a restaurant.
I won this "All You Can Eat" contest and
she was the one that cleaned me off.
Every night I go home and
look at her and I think,
"What is a beautiful woman like that
doing with a big galoot like me?"
I think I know.
- Where have you been?
- With Fred.
I mean, Mr. Flintstone.
I'm worried, Cliff.
He's smarter than we thought.
He'd have to be to get himself
dressed in the morning.
He's been asking a lot of questions.
I think we should just
call the whole thing off.
No. No, I've got a better idea.
Why don't we turn ourselves in,
then we can rot in jail until
the poles freeze over.
I was just thinking...
Stick to your strengths, Miss Stone.
And I'll stick to mine.
Besides,
if Mr. Flintstone insists
on being so conscientious,
perhaps we can give Fred...
Something to take his
mind off work, hmm?
- A bonus?
- That's right, Fred!
- You deserve it.
- For what?
Don't be modest, you go-getter, you!
And Fred, let me let
you in on a little secret.
If you really want to become a
top executive at this company,
you've got to start living like one.
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
- Good afternoon, madam.
- Full serve, please.
Let's ride
With the family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
Oh, dear!
We'll have a gay old time
Good boy.
Good, Wilma! Use your arms.
Perfect. That's four.
Betty! Towel.
Keep going. Go eight.
Strong, tight. Go nine.
A yabba-dabba-doo time
The Flintstones!
We'll have a gay old
Time
Oh!
Yeah!
Who said money doesn't buy happiness?
But, Fred, isn't this
all too much too fast?
Wilma, in the buffet of life
there are no second helpings.
You gotta fill up your
plate, top off your cup,
and stuff a few rolls in your pocket.
Fred, stop!
Mmm. Frisky!
You know, Barney, life's funny.
One minute people are
your best friends,
the next you're fantasizing
they're being ripped apart
by a pack of rabid wolves.
- You too, huh?
- Oh, Barney, they've changed.
I hardly know them since
Fred's become such a big shot.
And it should be us squanderin' all our
money and treatin' our friends like dirt.
- What do you mean?
- Oh, nothin'.
Just sour grapes, I guess.
Oh, don't worry, Barney.
It's gonna get better.
One day we're gonna look
back on all this and we'll laugh.
Jeez, I hope so, Betty,
'cause tomorrow they got
me testin' shark repellent.
Mmm. Oh, Barney. Ooh.
Leaving early?
Actually, the wife and I were going to have
dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green.
Ooh, pricey. Be sure to put
that on your expense account.
Fred, before you go...
Would you mind chipping your
"X" on a couple of these?
Yeah, sure. What are they?
Well, you sign these and your
buddies down in the quarry
get some much-needed time off.
No kiddin'! I guess Mr. Slate finally
noticed all those memos I been sendin' in.
I hope the guys will know
who's to thank for this.
I'll make sure you
get all the credit.
Mr. Flintstone, up to
now our relationship
has not been based on mutuality
of admiration or respect.
Huh?
Put simply, you hate my bird guts
and I think you're dumber than mud.
- Ah. Well, good night.
- Still, I wish to pass on an old dictum...
From business school that
may be apropos here.
Only an idiot signs something
before reading it.
Excuse me. I'm the executive,
you're the office equipment.
If I want to ask the office
equipment for advice,
I'll ask the water cooler!
Ladies and gentlemen, the B.C.-52's!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
Twitch!
Well, I know a place
where the hipsters go
Called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause they're itching for
it down in prehistoric
Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a funky town so
I'll see you down
It's a funky town
called Bedrock, yeah
Oh, the Stone Age crowd
is twitching proud
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
They do the twitch
Twitch, twitch, come on
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Do it, come on, baby
Do it, do it, do it
Do the twitch like
you got an itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Itch, itch, itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch!
Thank you, Bedrock!
Thanks, everybody. And remember,
don't drink and pedal.
Good night!
How 'bout a spin, Betty?
No, thank you, Fred.
I'll wait till Barney gets here.
He started some new job today.
I'm not sure what time he gets done.
While we're waiting, how about
another carafe of the bubbly?
Garcon! Whoops.
Don't worry, Mr. Flintstone.
I'll have that taken care of right away.
Table seven, sonny.
Barney!
Barney, nice skins!
Sit down, take a load off!
- I can't, Fred. I'm working here.
- You're a busboy?
It's honest work.
Yeah, I don't have to
fight Dino for my supper.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll get you a fresh tablecloth, sir.
See Wilma, you were worried
he'd never find a job and
we'd be stuck with him forever.
Ow!
Flintstone! Flintstone!
We want Flintstone!
The demonstration continues to
get uglier at Slate and Company
following the unexpected layoff
of virtually the entire labor force
by V.P. Fred Flintstone.
For the Cave News Network,
this is Susan Rock.
Fred, did you hear what happened
to everyone at the quarry today?
Yup. A few hours ago, I sent them
all off on a nice, long vacation.
You mean, a permanent vacation.
He fired them!
Fred! How could you?
- I didn't do that.
- You did too! It's all over the TV!
Fred!
Who are you going to believe,
me or some busboy?
That busboy is your best friend!
Best friend? I lost my best friend
the day I became an executive!
He's just jealous of my
hard-earned success.
Hard-earned? Tell me something,
Mr. Vice President,
what's a graduated
inventory plan, huh?
How about supply and demand?
Hey, Fred! What's two and two?
I didn't come here to talk business.
I'm out with my wife.
Now, get me a clean spoon.
That does it!
The only reason you got that job is
'cause I switched tests with you.
- Oh, Barney.
- Oh-ho-ho, that's rich!
What good would it do me to switch tests
with the guy that got the lowest score?
- Think about it, Fred.
- Oh, finally it all makes sense.
You don't believe this, do you?
Are you calling my husband a liar?
This has gone far enough.
After everything that we've done
for you. We took you into our home.
Yeah? So you could show
off every chance you got!
You used to be such
nice people, but now...
You're just a couple of rich snobs!
Better than being a
couple of petty ingrates.
Come on, Barney.
We are moving out, tonight!
Hang on, Betty.
I forgot to punch out.
Eh, put it up top.
Betty, please. We can work it out.
We're all civilized people here.
It's too late, Wilma.
Come on, we all said things
that we didn't mean.
Speak for yourself.
Come on, Betty. Time to hit the road.
Fred! Aren't you even
the least bit sorry?
Sure, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I
ever met the little moocher.
Oh, Betty.
- Good-bye, Wilma.
- Oh.
They're gone.
I cannot believe you just sat there
and let them walk out of our lives.
At least I can walk around the
house in my underwear again.
That's more important than
20 years of friendship?
It is on a hot day.
They were holding us back, Wilma.
We'll make new friends. There's
4,000 other people in this world!
- Who needs the Rubbles?
- I do.
But I'll tell you what I don't need.
I don't need this necklace.
You know, I don't need this lamp.
And I don't need this television set.
Not the TV!
I don't need this.
I don't need this.
I don't think I'll be needing
any of this bone china.
Because I don't have any
friends to invite to dinner.
I don't think I'll be using
any of these cups or saucers.
You're gonna regret this, Wilma.
It's gonna take you hours
to clean up this mess.
All right, Wilma.
Enough of this charade.
Come back now, and I'll forgive ya.
Oh, you're bluff in',
Wilma Slaghoople.
You're not going to your mother's.
Once around the block, you'll realize
the folly of your ways and
you'll come crawling back.
Please.
It's finally happened,
I've become my father.
Now, Barney, don't talk like that.
- This place is fine for now.
- Come on, Betty.
We're living downwind from
a family of wild boars.
- Face it. We've hit rock bottom.
- Hmm.
Come here, little guy.
Can you say da-da? Say da-da.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Oh.
It doesn't really matter where we
live, as long as we're together.
Family hug!
- Betty?
- Hmm?
Exactly where did you get those eggs?
Sorry.
I think it might be twins.
There he is!
You're a traitor, Flintstone!
- Listen to me. I'm your friend.
- You're no friend of ours!
You're a rotten bowler too!
Good morning, Mr. Flint...
They made a fool of me.
Look what they had to work with.
Flintstone, heard you were
down in the file room.
Find anything interesting?
Yeah! I'm on to your little scam.
Billing phony companies and
keeping the money for yourself.
- I'm going to Mr. Slate.
- Good idea.
Turning yourself in might
buy you a little leniency.
- Me? This entire scheme was your idea.
- True.
But I've graciously decided
to give you all the credit,
since it's your name
on the requisitions.
I never touched any of that money!
Hmm. Fred, please.
Remodeling your house, furs, jewelry,
a fully-equipped Le Sabertooth.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should
have been more discreet.
I'm innocent!
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.
Miss Stone, call security.
Tell them we've
uncovered an embezzler.
Miss Stone,
you'll back me up, won't ya?
You better run while you
still have a chance.
You'll never get away with this.
I already have.
Here comes the pterodactyl.
- Mmm-mmm-mmm.
- It's no use, Mother.
She misses Fred.
I hope it's not that
pesky Avrok lady again.
Oh!
- Betty!
- Oh.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- I have missed you so much.
I don't care what Barney said.
I couldn't let you go through this alone.
- Have you heard from Fred?
- No.
I spoke to a lawyer.
If he's missing seven years,
you can remarry.
Mother!
Well, wherever Fred is,
I hope he knows I still love him.
Oh.
Calling all Bedrock units,
all Bedrock units.
Tonight, in a special edition
of Bedrock's Most Wanted,
we bring you the story
that's rocked our city,
"The Case of the
Embezzling Executive."
Mr. Flintstone, what are you doing?
I'm an executive. I'm embezzling.
I'm shocked!
How could you ever marry that man?
Mother! That man is not my husband.
That's right. He plays Dr. Gravelman
on The Young And The Thumbless.
Fred might be a lot of things
but a thief is not one of them.
- Can he prove it?
- Who cares?
Yabba-dabba-dabba!
This menace remains at large...
We ask the public's
help in apprehending...
Maybe I can.
A little something to take that
chill off. Take a swig of this.
Put hair on your knuckles.
Tell me something... You one of those guys
that was laid off at the stone quarry?
I used to work there.
A lot of guys here would
like to get their hands
on the guy who's
responsible for all this.
- So they could hear his side of the story?
- What? His side of the story?
Huh? Flintstone!
Flintstone!
It is! Flintstone!
Squealer!
Get him!
Just think.
This time tomorrow, we'll be
on a pterodactyl winging our...
- Oh, Cliff.
- Hmm?
How come there's only
one ticket to Rocapulco?
For your protection, darling. I thought
I would go on a "business trip,"
while you stay here to
keep up appearances.
Then, when we're sure
it's safe, I'll send for you.
Forgive me, Cliff.
Looks like you've
thought of everything.
Psst. Excuse me!
- Hello.
- No, Mumsie, I don't want to go to school.
The other boys make fun of me.
Wake up!
Oh, Mrs. Flintstone. To what do
I owe the honor of this break-in?
I need your help, Mr. Bird.
You hear everything that
goes on in this office.
Hmm-hmm.
You are the only one who
can help clear my husband.
What a delicious irony.
Thank you for sharing it with me.
Now, let me share something with you.
Oh, now, Wilma, calm down.
- Maybe I can reason with him.
- Ow!
There. All set.
You know, my only regret
is I won't be around
when that shoddy new equipment
blows up in their big, dumb faces.
Oh, well, I'll just have to console
myself with all that money.
Hey, who's that?
That's Flintstone's wife.
What would she want
with a stinky old dict...
Son of a brachiosaurus!
Well, Cliff. I guess you
haven't thought of everything.
Oh, this is far from over.
String him up!
You can't do this. I was framed!
In a minute you're going to be boxed.
Anybody want a snow cone?
- Barney!
- Fred!
- What are you doing here?
- I'm getting lynched!
Oh. I got cherry, lime, rocky road.
Do you know this guy?
Know him? He used
to be my best friend.
In a way, if it wasn't for me,
this whole mess probably
wouldn't have happened.
Thanks for filling us in. We could've
made a very big mistake here.
- Hang both of 'em.
- What?
Gee, take it easy. They make
you pay for your own uniforms.
Barney, I thought you
came to save me.
Save you? I saw a crowd,
I figured I'd sell a few snow cones.
- You mean you haven't forgiven me yet?
- Nope.
And frankly, I don't think
this is going to help.
- I took a cherry.
- I can't break a 20.
Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute!
Look, Barn, I know you're
still a little mad at me.
But I want you to know, if I had to
have someone hanging next to me,
I'm glad it's you.
I guess switchin' them tests didn't turn
out much like I planned, huh, Fred?
Hey, got any lemon?
Check in the back.
Gee, why can't business
be this good every day?
The story of my life.
- I'm a loser.
- No, you're not.
This makes me a winner?
No, but you're the best
friend a guy ever had
and that makes you a
winner in my book, pal.
Me...
I'm just a big jerk.
Ah, everybody loves you, Fred.
Except for this lynch mob.
Ah, Barn.
Ah, Fred.
You'll have plenty of time
to bond in the afterlife.
Wilma, look!
Watch out for that tree!
Now wait, everybody.
Fred is innocent.
Barney, do you have to
do everything Fred does?
Everybody, listen to him.
First things first.
I demand an apology.
- I'm sorry!
- Not you, him.
Me? Apologize to a bird?
Not Fred Flintstone!
I had hoped we might be
colleagues but instead,
you've treated me as if I were an
ordinary piece of office furniture.
I may eat bugs, but I have
feelings, Mr. Flintstone.
And you've hurt them.
Aww.
Uh, well, look, I know I could've
been a little more sensitive.
- Especially when you were molting.
- Oh.
So, I'm... Sorry.
I don't think they
heard you in the back.
- I'm sorry.
- Pardon?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
- Oh.
Now, then, gather 'round, everyone.
I'll tell you the tale of
an unsophisticated man
caught up in a treacherous
web of power,
deceit and lust.
Ooh, yeah.
Why is the door open?
- Betty, the door is open!
- Wilma, something's wrong!
- Pebbles!
- Bamm-Bamm!
What kind of madman would
do something like this?
That's a poor poochie.
That's a baby.
- Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are gone!
- They left this.
- It's a note.
- If you want to see your kids again,
bring the Dictabird to the
quarry at dawn. No police.
Mr. Flintstone.
Stealing office equipment,
really. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Is this the kind of example you
want to set for your daughter?
- Where are the kids?
- The bird, please.
- First, we want our children.
- Of course.
Bamm-Bamm!
Take one more step, Mr. Rubble,
and this quarry's safety record
will be severely tarnished.
Now, give me the bird.
Go on, Fred. Give him what he wants.
- What?
- Don't worry, I got a plan.
We're gonna get the kids back
and then we'll rescue you.
What a strategist.
I should have signed with Disney.
They never would've allowed
this sort of thing to happen.
- Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
- Easy.
And in the words of
my beloved mother,
I'm taking the money and
moving to a warmer climate.
Help, Daddy!
Let's discuss this, Cliff.
May I call you Cliff?
Barney, too much pressure.
One, two, three...
Nice goin'.
- Now what do we do?
- You get the kids, I'll try and stop this.
Whoa!
Cliff y, have I ever told you you
have a very distinguished chin?
Shut up! Ahh!
Whoa!
Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Oh, dear, Oh, dear.
Too many years behind
a desk. Mayday, mayday!
Hi, da-da.
You did it! You called me da-da!
Oh, Barney, you lunkhead!
What am I going to do?
I gotta think of somethin'.
Not now.
Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Help, help!
Save me! Save me
from this mad M.B.A.!
- Don't worry. I'll take care of him.
- My hero.
Yipes.
Flintstone, kiss your bird good-bye.
Oh, mama.
Will there be anything
else, Mr. Flintstone?
No, Miss Stone.
Take the rest of the day off.
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Cliff?
It's time for you and
me to interface.
- Aah!
- Stee-rike!
And then, Cliff said,
"True. But I've graciously decided
to give you all the credit,
"since it's your name on all
the requisition forms."
Mr. Flintstone, I may
not be in on Monday.
Don't worry, Miss Stone.
I'll tell 'em what you did.
- They'll let you off easy.
- I've been a very bad girl.
But you have to admit,
I was very, very good at it.
Come on, do it for Mommy. Who am I?
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Oh.
Thank goodness, you're all right.
Well, I'm not going to jail, but it
won't be easy getting a new job.
What kind of reference is
Mr. Slate gonna give me
after I destroyed his quarry?
None of this was your fault.
Mr. Slate will understand.
Flintstone!
Sure, now he gets my name right.
How did this happen?
Mr. Slate, it all started when the
Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Not that!
How did this happen to Cliff?
Well, you see, Mr. Slate,
the machinery went haywire and
the rocks got all crushed up
and that got mixed in with water
and that came all down the hill.
- Mr. Slate, I'm sorry!
- Sorry?
I love this stuff!
I'm gonna name it after
my daughter Concretia.
Flintstone, you're a genius!
Me? Really? Why?
Don't you see? Thanks to concrete,
man can now shape his own destiny.
- The Stone Age is over!
- Ahh.
First thing, I want you to hire
back all the men, Flintstone.
- We're going into production immediately.
- We?
That's right.
You are hereby promoted to President
of the entire concrete division.
Yabba...
That's a real nice offer, Mr. Slate,
but unfortunately, I'm gonna
have to turn you down.
Don't listen to him, Mr. Slate.
Fred, it's a great job!
This time, you deserve it.
Barney, all my life I
wanted to be a somebody.
And when I finally did, I turned
into somebody I didn't like.
Good grief, man,
have you lost your mind?
This could make you rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
I was always the richest
man in the world.
I just never knew it.
So, if it's okay with you, Mr. Slate,
all I want is my old job
back and my old life.
Fred.
And two weeks paid vacation
for all the men in the quarry,
an annual cost of livin' increase
and those little packets of
ketchup in the lunchroom.
Done!
Thanks, boss. See you
at the company picnic.
There goes the best
executive I ever had.
- Fred, I'm so proud of you.
- And I'm proud of you, Barney.
- I'm starving!
- Me too!
What do you say we get some breakfast.
Snake and eggs for everybody.
- My treat.
- Great.
Barney...
- Yeah, Fred?
- Spot me a couple bucks? I'm a little short.
- Not this time!
- What?
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will
stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the
family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
The Flintstones!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will
stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Yeah!
Yabba-dabba-doo!
I was travelin' to Earth
and what did I spot
A little village by the water
Sign said Bedrock
I met this kid named Fred
He didn't wear no socks
He had a part-time gig at
the Gravel Pit slingin' rocks
Said he was into hip hop
Could he kick a spell I told him go for it
Bust a verse said what you think
I said you're style is prehistoric
Sounds stuck in the Stone Age
You're still using a hammer and chisel
Carving out your
lyrics on stone pages
It's about time you heard a style
from a real before-the-wheel rapper
Set it off and he
said yabba-dabba-doo
Then he got to prove
The fella's suddenly standing
In the middle of a
crowd of K drummers
Sayin' tell us how you flipped
the script and ripped
I get busy one time they said yeah
yeah I'm hip, I'm hip
Didn't know the time
Didn't know about fly
Sol, you know, I had to show
a Cave Man how to rock
In the Stone Age
I showed a Cave Man how to rock
Yabba-dabba-doo!
In the Stone Age
I showed a Cave Man how to rock
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Barney Rubble
Fred Flintstone
Hey, Freddie boy
Don't try to get too close
I don't want to catch a mammoth dose
We'll meet at the Bedrock disco
Who cares that I got T. Rex
On my radio
On this prehistoric day
I feel duty-bound to say
Before I reach my destination
On this prehistoric day
I feel duty-bound to say
I owes an explanation
Give me one good reason
Give me two good reasons
Give me three good reasons
Why's men do what they do
Yabba-dabba-doo Yabba-dabba-doo
Yabba-dabba-doo
Anarchy in Bedrock
Stop in some time and
meet Betty and Wilma
Try some Flint upside-down
Rubble bubble cake
Or just try
Fruity Pebbles
'Cause I
Wanna be
Fred Flintstone
Is this the U.S.D.A.?
Is this Hollywood
Is this Bedrock
I thought it was Hollyrock
'Cause I
Wanna be
Fred Flintstone
Yabba-dabba-doo
Wilma!
Ohh!
Hey! Back to work! You guys
had a break two days ago!
Come on, now!
Come on, Sheba! That's my big girl!
Look at those pathetic worms
burrowing their lives away.
Do you know why I'm up here and
they're down there, Miss Stone?
Because you lied on your resume?
No.
Because I have vision.
And right now I have a
vision of you and me...
Dripping with coconut oil
on a beach in Rocapulco...
With Mr. Slate's fortune
to keep us company.
I'm glad we see eye to eye.
And somewhere down there
is the ignorant stooge
who will make all my
schemes come true.
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the
family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
The captain has just turned
on the seat belt sign...
Signaling our descent
into the Bedrock area.
On your left, you'll be able to see the
Grand Canyon in about 15,000,000 years.
K-A-V-E
Radio Bedrock
The KAVE accu-forecast for tonight
calls for light seismic activity.
And a 20 percent chance
of meteor showers.
Quick traffic update, due to lava flows,
Highway One will be closed... Forever!
K-A-V-E
Molten Oldie
Sow belly, pot of beans
Tie a rope around your jeans
Tell your mom not to wait
You ain't coming home too late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch
There's a town I know where
the hipsters go called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get that itch
you can do the Twitch
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the Twitch is fine
Have yourself a time
In Bedrock
Drum solo!
Hey! Watch it, will ya?
Finally got my hair the way I like it.
I'm so excited, Fred.
I'm gonna be a father.
It's like a dream come true.
A son. Someone to carry on
the proud name of Rubble.
Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
Well, you're bound to find
something you're good at.
Yeah, sure... Hey!
- Uncle!
- Heh, heh, heh.
You know, Fred, Betty and
I really owe it all to you.
We would've never qualified to adopt had
it not been for the money you gave us.
Remember, Barn,
that's between you and me.
I'd like to tell the world what
a great guy my best buddy is!
No, no, no!
True, it was a selfless, noble act,
if I do say so myself.
My only reward will
be your happiness.
I don't need to go blabbin'
my good deeds all around.
You're afraid to tell
Wilma, aren't you?
Afraid? Now, let's get
this straight, Rubble.
I don't need permission from
my wife to make a decision.
In my cave, I reign supreme!
Su-preme!
- I won't tell her, Fred.
- Thanks, pal.
Hiya, Timmy!
Here you go! Shoot, shoot, shoot!
Hey, Charlie!
- Huh?
- Wilma!
I'm home!
No, Dino! No, no! No, Dino! Bad boy!
Bad dog!
- Good doggie!
- Bad Dino breath.
Fred!
Do you have to get Dino so
wound up when you come home?
It's not my fault. Maybe he'd
calm down if we had him fixed!
What?
Here comes the big Daddysaurus!
How was your day, dear?
I think my Brontocrane's
pregnant again.
I tell ya,
you forget to lock her
up one Saturday night...
- Comfortable, Fred?
- On my way.
All I need's a brew and a good scratch.
Which one do you want to do first?
It does my heart good
to see you relaxing
after a hard day at the quarry.
I'm telling you, I married
the pick of the litter.
Fred, our garbage disposal
has been acting up a lot lately,
so I decided that it was
time to buy a new one.
But when I went to take money
out of our savings account...
- Guess what?
- New garbage disposal?
New garbage disposal? Why throw
good money down the drain?
There's nothing wrong with this one.
All right, you. Say "ahh."
Uh-uh.
Do you have any idea why there's
no money in our savings account?
There's your problem right there.
All right, you! Spit it out!
Where's the money, Fred?
Something happened to it.
There, I said it.
We have scrimped and
saved for that money.
And every time we get ahead,
you have to go blow it on
some hare-brained scheme!
Now, see here, Wilma!
In this cave, I am the king!
- And...
- And what, Fred?
And you have every right
to know, my queen.
I gave it to Barney.
You what?
I know I should've consulted you,
but Barney Rubble's my neighbor,
my lodge brother
and my best friend since the first
time I went through the fifth grade!
Fred Flintstone!
Wilma, without that money, they
wouldn't be allowed to adopt a baby.
So go ahead, yell,
scream, let the fur fly.
Give the neighbors
something to talk about!
What you have just done
for the Rubbles...
Is the sweetest, most
generous thing I ever heard.
And I adore you for it.
Mmm.
I also bought a new bowling ball.
Wait! Come on, honey!
- Watch your step.
- Sit down.
All right, all together, folks.
Betty, sit down and relax.
Oh, I can't, Wilma. It just hit me.
From now on, I'll be
spending 24 hours a day
attending to the every need
of a helpless little boy.
Then again, maybe it won't be
such a big adjustment after all.
Fred!
And promise you won't say anything like
you did when you saw my sister's baby.
The kid had a tail. Was I supposed
to pretend I didn't notice?
Hello, Mommy and Daddy! I have
someone who wants to meet you!
Well, it's not exactly
what we pictured, but...
- We'll love him like he was our own.
- No, no, no.
This little fellow belongs
to the Hendersons.
- So glad you'll be nursing.
- Congratulations.
Mr. and Mrs. Rubble,
this is your little boy.
Barney, isn't he precious?
Precious? They'd have been
better off with the monkey.
Fred!
- Does he have a name?
- Bamm-Bamm.
- Is that short for somethin'?
- Bamm-Bamm-Bamm.
You'll have to take it
slowly with this one.
He doesn't speak yet, and he's
a little skittish around humans.
But then again, I would be too if I
had been raised by wild mastodons.
Mastodons?
Let's not nitpick.
A mammal's a mammal.
Well, sounds to me like all
he needs is a little lovin'.
Ohh.
Come here, little guy.
Aah! He growled.
It's cute.
It's okay, little guy.
I'm your da-da.
Bamm-Bamm!
Oh! Barney!
- Oh, Betty!
- Bamm-Bamm! No!
Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm, wait!
Stalactite, stalagmite
Hold your baby very tight
- Come back!
- Come here, little guy!
- Bamm-Bamm! Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
- Ohhh!
Rock with the caveman
Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm!
Roll with the caveman
Shake to the caveman
Break with the caveman
Oof!
Make with the caveman
Okay, give me a C-A-V-E
Whoa!
M-A-N, Caveman
Whoa!
What an arm!
"And Cinderocka married
the handsome prince, and...
"And they lived happily ever after."
Yeah!
Okay, Brother Flintstone,
we need a strike to win.
Can you do it?
Is the Earth flat?
- Come on, Freddie!
- Come on, hit it!
Come on, twinkle toes.
Fred!
- Waka-waka-woo!
- Waka-waka-woo!
- Wooga-wooga-wee!
- Wooga-wooga-wee!
Piki-piki-piki! Poki-poki-poki!!
Ahhhhhhhh-oooh!
Lava juice!
Hey, can I have everybody's
attention, please?
I would like to propose a toast
to not only a great bowler,
but a great human being.
And no offense to you guys.
"Since I was just a lad often,
I've had the very bestest friend.
"He may be big, he may be loud,
"so you'll never lose him in a crowd.
"But for my friend
the special part...
"Is what's behind his ribs...
His heart."
"I owe my son to him, and now...
"I stand before my peers and vow...
"I'll pay him back,
someday, somehow."
The end.
- That was beautiful, Barn.
- I meant every word of it, Fred.
- Care to join me in a cold one?
- Love to.
It doesn't get any better than this.
Ohh!
No.
Look at him.
Drunk as a skunkosaurus.
Aaaah!
Mother, I can handle this.
What's that old fossil doing here?
Did the tar pits back up again?
Well, somebody has to be here looking
after my daughter and grandchild...
While you're out carousing
with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Oh, really?
Well, for your information,
the lodge no longer
accepts Neanderthals.
He robs your nest egg to bail
out that little troll next door
while my daughter has to
wash her clothes in the river.
- I got half a mind...
- Oh, don't flatter yourself.
That's it! Where's my club, Wilma?
You just try it, fatso!
- If you was a man, I'd knock you...
- Enough! Mother! Fred!
You two should be
ashamed of yourselves!
I've got my hands full
just being ashamed of him.
You got your hands full
when you scratch your neck!
Stop it!
Both of you!
Mother, Fred is a loving
husband and a good provider.
Oh, really? What has he ever
provided you besides shade?
Oh, Wilma.
You could've married
Elliot Firestone,
the man who invented the wheel.
Instead you picked Fred Flintstone,
the man who invented the excuse.
Let me tell you something, Pearl.
I'm not going to be a nobody all my life.
One of these days, I'm gonna be
a somebody, a real somebody!
We'll live in luxury, and Wilma
will have everything she deserves.
When that day comes,
you'll be so busy eatin' crow
you'll be passing
feathers for a month!
Oh, you poor, poor dear.
And when I think of all the
sacrifices your father made for you.
Lambs, oxen,
your brother Jerry.
- Well...
- Oh, Wilma.
Do your mother a favor.
Just call Elliot Firestone.
Even if things don't work out,
he can give you a great
deal on some tires.
- Yes, Mother.
- Byesie-bye.
I'll show her. I'll show everybody.
I know you will, Fred.
- Call me fatso.
- Let's get some sleep.
Hey, what's the special?
This job sucks.
- What you got today?
- Lizard and onions. Want half?
Sure.
I hear that eatin' too much
red meat is bad for you.
What a load of bunk.
My father ate it every day of his life,
he lived to the ripe old age of 38.
Your attention please.
May I have your attention!
I have a very important
announcement to make.
You found out why the guys
in pit six are losing their hair?
Yes!
And we are currently in the process of
refuting the results of that investigation.
But today I am here
to formally announce the creation
of Slate and Company's
executive placement program.
Hold your questions, please.
That's right, this Saturday an
aptitude test will be given,
granting one of you the opportunity
to crawl out of the primordial
ooze and be somebody.
A vice president at
Slate and Company,
with an obscene salary
and a shiny nameplate.
Ooh.
Good luck, and may
the best biped win.
An executive? This is my
chance to be somebody.
Be somebody.
Whee!
Higher, Bamm-Bamm, higher!
Higher! Higher!
Whee!
- Wilma.
- Hmm?
How did you get rid of the
ring around the collar?
By washing Fred's neck.
Hmm. You know, if Fred scores
the highest on that test,
you'll be able to hire someone
to do your laundry for you.
If Fred scores the highest on that test,
I'll have to hire someone to revive me.
Oh, it's true,
Fred's no Albert Einstone.
- But you never know, he may surprise you.
- Whee!
Well, maybe.
- He has been studying day and night.
- Whee!
I know! I've never
seen him so excited
about something you couldn't
spread mayonnaise on.
Barn, I've been thinking
about this executive job.
It's not me.
Cooped up inside some
swank office all day,
kissing the big shot's feet.
Not Fred Flintstone.
Why, good afternoon, Mr. Vandercave.
My, that's a handsome pelt
you're wearing today.
Thank you.
Your attention, please!
Please take your seats.
And welcome.
You will have one hour
to complete the exam.
Please carve all answers with
a well-sharpened No. 2 chisel.
On behalf of Slate and Company,
I want to wish you all
the very best of luck.
Let's begin.
Eeee!
Ohh.
Chisels down.
Please slide your answer slab
into the numbered envelope provided
and stack them neatly on my desk.
Psst! Hey, Fred! How'd you do?
How'd I do? How'd I do?
- You want me to take that up for you?
- Yeah. Thanks, pal.
"And I stand before my peers and vow,
"I'll pay him back,
someday, somehow."
Well, Cliff, the test results are in.
And our unsuspecting dupe is?
Believe it or not, the one who scored
the highest was Fred Flintstone.
- That big ape?
- No, the big ape got a 65.
Flintstone? Oh, this can't be right!
He must have cheated.
He's dense, he's witless...
He's perfect.
The results of the exam
were very competitive,
and just because an
applicant was not selected...
ls no indication of lack of ability.
- I am pleased to announce...
- I know a kiss-off when I hear one. Let's go.
That the newest member
of our executive rank
is Mr. Fred Flintstone!
- Huh?
- Barney, quick. What's my name?
- Fred Flintstone!
- Don't toy with me, Barney.
You did it, Fred! You made it!
Yabba-dabba-dabba-doo!
Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
Good morning, Mrs. Vice President.
Oh, Dino! Oh, Dino, no!
- Hey!
- Mmm!
Atta baby!
Oh...
Good boy, Dino.
Well, how do I look?
Daddy pretty.
It's perfect!
Yeah. Snazzy.
What am I gonna call
you now? Boss? Chief?
No, a simple "Your Highness" will do.
No, Barn.
I'm not gonna be one of these guys that
makes it then forgets where he came from.
The first thing I'm gonna do is get
everyone in the quarry some vacation time.
And maybe a health plan
with free foot care.
I'd settle for them little packets
of ketchup for the lunch room.
- I'm only one man.
- Not from the back.
Hey, hey.
Well, I guess this is it,
Mr. Flintstone.
Go get 'em, big guy.
- Hey, Barn.
- Yeah, Fred?
Could you spot me a couple
bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
You're right, Fred.
Nothing's changed.
Welcome aboard, Flintstone!
We're glad you're here. Nice suit!
You know, Fred, any gravel brain
can shovel rock down in
the quarry, but up here...
- Do you know what we do up here?
- Me and the guys have always wondered.
We interface, Flintstone.
We strategize, analyze,
conceptualize, prioritize...
When do we eat?
Fred, until this moment I wasn't
sure we'd picked the right man.
Now I'm certain.
Fred Flintstone,
you've arrived.
- This is my office?
- That's right.
- This is my chair?
- Mmm-hmm.
Not to throw too much
at you on your first day,
but this big thing here is your desk.
- My desk?
- Watch out for your fingers in the drawers.
Am I interrupting?
Not at all. Fred, I'd like you
to meet your new secretary,
- Miss Sharon Stone.
- My secretary?
Personal secretary, Mr. Flintstone.
That is, of course, if you want me.
Great.
Well, I'm sure the two of
you would like to get...
Better acquainted.
Mr. Flintstone, I'd like you to know
that I enjoy working
long hours, late nights,
even weekends.
So feel free to use me
however you see fit.
Now, can I get you anything?
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- How would you like it?
- In a cup?
Bold choice, Mr. Flintstone!
You'll go far in this company.
Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf.
We can prioritize, conceptualize
and, uh... Tenderize.
Executively yours, Fred Fli... Ah!
Are there six or seven
"I"s in "Fli... Ah"?
- Who said that?
- It was I, your dictabird.
- Dicta-what?
- Dictabird. Read my beak.
"Cliff, let's play golf.
"We can prioritize, conceptualize
and, uh, tenderize."
Wow. Wow!
Mr. Flintstone, I'd like to warn
you that management positions
are fraught with peril.
Whenever you find yourself
in a befuddled state,
I urge you to avail yourself
of my experience and sage advice.
Oh, really?
Listen, birdie, let's get the
pecking order straight here.
Hmm.
I don't need any help from you.
I'm Vice President of...
Of, uh...
Industrial procurement.
How about that? Excuse me.
Hey, guys!
Guess what I am!
Vice President of
Industrial Procurement!
Oy! Whew.
Yeah.
There. I'm all done with
the requisition forms.
What do you think?
It's perfect.
Looks just like the real one.
Mr. Flintstone, you are about to
embezzle a great deal of money.
Unfortunately, for you,
we get to keep it.
We can have Flintstone
sign these right away.
Not just yet.
Creatures like this
Flintstone are primitive,
prone to irrational
bouts of integrity.
We've got to make absolutely
certain he'll do whatever we say.
Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth.
"Fred is the greatest
bowler on Earth."
Now you talk, and see how
much I can remember.
Workin' hard?
Okay, Fred, are you ready for
your first executive action?
Ready and willing. Whatever
you need, consider it done!
Good! I want you to
fire Bernard Rubble.
Done... What? Fire Barney? Why?
Well, for starters, he scored the lowest
on the management aptitude test.
He's an imbecile. The company can't afford
to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
But, Mr. Vandercave,
he's got a new kid, a mortgage.
I'm his best friend. I can't.
Fred...
If you don't fire him,
I will.
And then I'll fire you.
Come on, Fred,
usually you're yakkin' my ear off,
but today you haven't said two words.
Something exciting must
have happened up there.
- You don't want to know, Barn, believe me.
- Sure I do, Fred.
You're the first one of us to
make it out of that quarry.
Look at me.
I'll probably be working
there the rest of my life.
No, you won't, Barn.
Take my word for it.
Come take a look... It's a dish in
the shower, you keep the soap in it.
Barney, there's something
we gotta talk about.
Yeah, yeah. Later, Fred.
Surprise!
Way to go, Fred!
- Wilma, you shouldn't have.
- Hmm?
I didn't. This was all
Barney and Betty's idea.
Aren't we lucky to have
friends like them, Fred?
Ohh!
There he is!
There's my big, handsome son-in-law!
Have you lost weight?
Have we met?
Can I have everybody's
attention, please?
I've got something I'd like to say.
I hope it's not another poem.
Fred... Betty, Bamm-Bamm
and I could not be happier,
- even if it was me that got that job.
- Aww!
So we got a little something to
show how proud of you we are.
Congratulations, big guy!
Barney, I can't accept this.
- Sure, you can.
- No, I can't. Take it back.
- We can't. We had your initials branded on it.
- It's yours, Fred.
- No, it's not!
- Fred, what's wrong with you?
It's a lovely gift.
- He's thrilled to receive it. Aren't you, Fred?
- No!
- Don't you like the color?
- It's not the briefcase, it's not the color.
- I just can't take anything from you.
- But, Fred...
Take a hike, shorty.
My Freddie doesn't
want that tacky thing.
- How come, Fred?
- Because you can't afford it, Barn.
Sure I can, pal.
Not anymore.
- You're fired.
- Fired?
Well!
Let's not let a little thing
like this spoil the party!
Conga line!
Conga! Conga!
Don't worry about me, Fred.
I've been working in that quarry
since it was eight feet deep.
Atta boy!
There could be a whole new
world opening up for me.
Maybe I'll take in that
franchise show this weekend.
That's the spirit.
There's just one thing I gotta know.
After all these years,
how come they're canning me?
Barn,
you're a wonderful father,
a loving husband,
a hard worker,
and one heck of a little bowler.
But, Barn, none of that
counts on an aptitude test.
You got the lowest score, pal.
The lowest score?
Wilma, that is beautiful!
- Well, I have always wanted...
- You can't catch me!
- A Halstone original.
- Mmm.
- Ohh!
- Now, Wilma, don't be silly!
Your husband's a big executive.
You can afford it.
Charge it!
Bamm-Bamm!
Ohh! Bamm-Bamm!
- No!
- Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
Gentlemen, please. I cannot
endorse this modernization...
if it means laying off
all those workers.
Some have been here since
the beginning of time.
What if I could
quadruple your income?
I'll miss them. You were saying?
Sorry I'm late. I had car trouble.
Picked up a nail.
Thank you for sharing
that, Mr. Flagstone.
May we continue?
Mr. Slate. Gentlemen.
I have a vision.
While our competitors are
mired in the Stone Age,
I give you... The future!
- Ohh.
- Slate and Company
will revolutionize the
building industry...
By providing simple,
low-cost, modular housing units.
Impossible, you say?
Let me demonstrate.
Through the miracle
of geothermal power,
the raw material is elevated
to the second stage,
where our steam-powered
conveyor belt carries...
Steam?
He's a madman!
Steam-powered conveyor belts...
Carry the product to be
shaped, cleaned, inspected
and delivered to discerning
consumers worldwide.
And did I mention increasing
our profit margin...
- Fourfold?
- Very impressive, Mr. Vandercave.
Very impressive. I think we should
implement this system immediately.
Yes?
Excuse me, Mr. Slate.
I know I'm the new man here,
but I don't think you hired me
to sit around and look pretty.
I hate to bust your bubble,
but if you build houses this small,
who's gonna live in 'em?
- Excuse me. Mrs. Rubble?
- Yes.
There seems to be a slight
problem with your credit carol.
Really? And what would that be?
It's no damn good!
I have never been so
embarrassed in my entire life.
- Go and play, children.
- Wilma, I promise you I'll pay you back.
- I just don't know when.
- Oh, now, Betty.
- It can't be as bad as all that.
- But it is.
Barney's still out of work, we've
nearly spent all of our savings.
And, Wilma, what if the
adoption agency finds out?
I don't want to lose my baby.
I swear, Betty, Fred and I
would never let that happen.
- Oh, Wilma.
- Oh, Betty.
Pterodactyl alert!
Mommy, help!
- Ow, yuck!
- Ew!
And in conclusion, Mr. Slate,
I feel a paid vacation for everyone
in the quarry would raise morale
and increase productivity,
um, um... A whole bunch!
Sincerely yours,
Frederick J. Flintstone.
Shall I make that "Flagstone,"
so he'll know who it's from?
My, don't we look handsome today?
Thank you.
Here are today's batch
of requisitions.
- All marked and ready for your signature.
- Okay.
You know, Miss Stone,
I've been signing stacks of these for weeks,
and I hate to pry, but what are they?
Oh, just tiny little forms
so that we can pay the contractors
working on the modernization.
We remodeled our kitchen
a couple of years ago,
and let me tell you,
contractors can be real pirates.
- I'm gonna read these over.
- No!
You're much too busy
for that, Mr. Flintstone.
Besides,
reading is my job.
You wouldn't want to
put poor little old me
out of work, now, would you?
No.
Your wife. Mmm-mmm.
- Your wife.
- My wife. Wilma?
- Wilma! What a surprise!
- So it would seem.
Miss Stone, I'd like you to
meet my wife Mrs. Flagstone...
And our daughter, um... Um, um, um...
Isn't she beautiful? My family.
- I've heard so much about you.
- Well, I wish that I could say the same.
That'll be all, Miss Stone.
I'll sign those documents and
place them on your desk.
Whatever you want.
- Your secretary is very attractive.
- Really? I hadn't noticed.
Did I mention she chisels
18 words a minute?
Hmm.
Hey, Wilma, did ya
ever see one of these?
My wife is the most
beautiful gal in Bedrock.
"My wife is the most
beautiful gal in Bedrock."
Nice try, Fred.
"Nice try, Fred."
Fred! I've come to talk about
the Rubbles' troubles.
Hasn't Barney found a job yet?
It's gotten so bad, they've had to rent
out their house just to make ends meet.
Really. Where are they gonna live?
So glad you're over your cold.
Thank you.
Isn't this nice, Betty?
The Flintstones and the
Rubbles, all under one roof.
Yes, but this is such an imposition.
Are you sure it's okay with Fred?
Oh, absolutely.
As a matter of fact,
he thinks it was his idea.
- Hey, Freddie, a couple of cool ones.
- Oh, yeah.
How about it, Barn?
- Flintstones and Rubbles under one roof.
- But it's only temporary.
It'd better be.
- It'd better be!
- Yeah!
Ah, Barn, I admire ya.
You've lost your job, your dignity,
but not your sense of humor.
Hey, cut it out, Fred!
You like your steak rare?
- Yeah.
- That one's yours.
Hey, hey, stop! Come here,
you purple rodent!
Don't forget to wash that
off before you eat it!
Come here! Give me that!
Help! Somebody!
Flintstone gets the rock.
He sets his shot. He shoots!
Oh!
Oh! Oh, boy.
Miss Stone, what a pleasant surprise.
Oh. What happened here?
- That's what I'd like to know!
- I'll get someone to fix it.
Oh, Miss Stone?
Before you go, there's
something bothering me...
- About this new system we're putting in here.
- Oh?
Yeah. I don't pretend
to understand it all,
but wouldn't this put a lot
of my guys out of work?
How would I know?
I'm just a little ol' secretary.
Are you kiddin' me? You're smart!
I could tell that right off.
There's a lot more to you
than you... Er... Uh...
- You... I mean...
- Thank you.
I sure hope I didn't get you into too much
trouble with your wife the other day.
Nah. Wilma always forgives me.
She knows I love her.
- And you do, don't you?
- Are you kiddin"?
I'll never forget, the first time I met
her she was working at a restaurant.
I won this "All You Can Eat" contest and
she was the one that cleaned me off.
Every night I go home and
look at her and I think,
"What is a beautiful woman like that
doing with a big galoot like me?"
I think I know.
- Where have you been?
- With Fred.
I mean, Mr. Flintstone.
I'm worried, Cliff.
He's smarter than we thought.
He'd have to be to get himself
dressed in the morning.
He's been asking a lot of questions.
I think we should just
call the whole thing off.
No. No, I've got a better idea.
Why don't we turn ourselves in,
then we can rot in jail until
the poles freeze over.
I was just thinking...
Stick to your strengths, Miss Stone.
And I'll stick to mine.
Besides,
if Mr. Flintstone insists
on being so conscientious,
perhaps we can give Fred...
Something to take his
mind off work, hmm?
- A bonus?
- That's right, Fred!
- You deserve it.
- For what?
Don't be modest, you go-getter, you!
And Fred, let me let
you in on a little secret.
If you really want to become a
top executive at this company,
you've got to start living like one.
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
- Good afternoon, madam.
- Full serve, please.
Let's ride
With the family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
Oh, dear!
We'll have a gay old time
Good boy.
Good, Wilma! Use your arms.
Perfect. That's four.
Betty! Towel.
Keep going. Go eight.
Strong, tight. Go nine.
A yabba-dabba-doo time
The Flintstones!
We'll have a gay old
Time
Oh!
Yeah!
Who said money doesn't buy happiness?
But, Fred, isn't this
all too much too fast?
Wilma, in the buffet of life
there are no second helpings.
You gotta fill up your
plate, top off your cup,
and stuff a few rolls in your pocket.
Fred, stop!
Mmm. Frisky!
You know, Barney, life's funny.
One minute people are
your best friends,
the next you're fantasizing
they're being ripped apart
by a pack of rabid wolves.
- You too, huh?
- Oh, Barney, they've changed.
I hardly know them since
Fred's become such a big shot.
And it should be us squanderin' all our
money and treatin' our friends like dirt.
- What do you mean?
- Oh, nothin'.
Just sour grapes, I guess.
Oh, don't worry, Barney.
It's gonna get better.
One day we're gonna look
back on all this and we'll laugh.
Jeez, I hope so, Betty,
'cause tomorrow they got
me testin' shark repellent.
Mmm. Oh, Barney. Ooh.
Leaving early?
Actually, the wife and I were going to have
dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green.
Ooh, pricey. Be sure to put
that on your expense account.
Fred, before you go...
Would you mind chipping your
"X" on a couple of these?
Yeah, sure. What are they?
Well, you sign these and your
buddies down in the quarry
get some much-needed time off.
No kiddin'! I guess Mr. Slate finally
noticed all those memos I been sendin' in.
I hope the guys will know
who's to thank for this.
I'll make sure you
get all the credit.
Mr. Flintstone, up to
now our relationship
has not been based on mutuality
of admiration or respect.
Huh?
Put simply, you hate my bird guts
and I think you're dumber than mud.
- Ah. Well, good night.
- Still, I wish to pass on an old dictum...
From business school that
may be apropos here.
Only an idiot signs something
before reading it.
Excuse me. I'm the executive,
you're the office equipment.
If I want to ask the office
equipment for advice,
I'll ask the water cooler!
Ladies and gentlemen, the B.C.-52's!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
Twitch!
Well, I know a place
where the hipsters go
Called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause they're itching for
it down in prehistoric
Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a funky town so
I'll see you down
It's a funky town
called Bedrock, yeah
Oh, the Stone Age crowd
is twitching proud
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
They do the twitch
Twitch, twitch, come on
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Do it, come on, baby
Do it, do it, do it
Do the twitch like
you got an itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Itch, itch, itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch!
Thank you, Bedrock!
Thanks, everybody. And remember,
don't drink and pedal.
Good night!
How 'bout a spin, Betty?
No, thank you, Fred.
I'll wait till Barney gets here.
He started some new job today.
I'm not sure what time he gets done.
While we're waiting, how about
another carafe of the bubbly?
Garcon! Whoops.
Don't worry, Mr. Flintstone.
I'll have that taken care of right away.
Table seven, sonny.
Barney!
Barney, nice skins!
Sit down, take a load off!
- I can't, Fred. I'm working here.
- You're a busboy?
It's honest work.
Yeah, I don't have to
fight Dino for my supper.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll get you a fresh tablecloth, sir.
See Wilma, you were worried
he'd never find a job and
we'd be stuck with him forever.
Ow!
Flintstone! Flintstone!
We want Flintstone!
The demonstration continues to
get uglier at Slate and Company
following the unexpected layoff
of virtually the entire labor force
by V.P. Fred Flintstone.
For the Cave News Network,
this is Susan Rock.
Fred, did you hear what happened
to everyone at the quarry today?
Yup. A few hours ago, I sent them
all off on a nice, long vacation.
You mean, a permanent vacation.
He fired them!
Fred! How could you?
- I didn't do that.
- You did too! It's all over the TV!
Fred!
Who are you going to believe,
me or some busboy?
That busboy is your best friend!
Best friend? I lost my best friend
the day I became an executive!
He's just jealous of my
hard-earned success.
Hard-earned? Tell me something,
Mr. Vice President,
what's a graduated
inventory plan, huh?
How about supply and demand?
Hey, Fred! What's two and two?
I didn't come here to talk business.
I'm out with my wife.
Now, get me a clean spoon.
That does it!
The only reason you got that job is
'cause I switched tests with you.
- Oh, Barney.
- Oh-ho-ho, that's rich!
What good would it do me to switch tests
with the guy that got the lowest score?
- Think about it, Fred.
- Oh, finally it all makes sense.
You don't believe this, do you?
Are you calling my husband a liar?
This has gone far enough.
After everything that we've done
for you. We took you into our home.
Yeah? So you could show
off every chance you got!
You used to be such
nice people, but now...
You're just a couple of rich snobs!
Better than being a
couple of petty ingrates.
Come on, Barney.
We are moving out, tonight!
Hang on, Betty.
I forgot to punch out.
Eh, put it up top.
Betty, please. We can work it out.
We're all civilized people here.
It's too late, Wilma.
Come on, we all said things
that we didn't mean.
Speak for yourself.
Come on, Betty. Time to hit the road.
Fred! Aren't you even
the least bit sorry?
Sure, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I
ever met the little moocher.
Oh, Betty.
- Good-bye, Wilma.
- Oh.
They're gone.
I cannot believe you just sat there
and let them walk out of our lives.
At least I can walk around the
house in my underwear again.
That's more important than
20 years of friendship?
It is on a hot day.
They were holding us back, Wilma.
We'll make new friends. There's
4,000 other people in this world!
- Who needs the Rubbles?
- I do.
But I'll tell you what I don't need.
I don't need this necklace.
You know, I don't need this lamp.
And I don't need this television set.
Not the TV!
I don't need this.
I don't need this.
I don't think I'll be needing
any of this bone china.
Because I don't have any
friends to invite to dinner.
I don't think I'll be using
any of these cups or saucers.
You're gonna regret this, Wilma.
It's gonna take you hours
to clean up this mess.
All right, Wilma.
Enough of this charade.
Come back now, and I'll forgive ya.
Oh, you're bluff in',
Wilma Slaghoople.
You're not going to your mother's.
Once around the block, you'll realize
the folly of your ways and
you'll come crawling back.
Please.
It's finally happened,
I've become my father.
Now, Barney, don't talk like that.
- This place is fine for now.
- Come on, Betty.
We're living downwind from
a family of wild boars.
- Face it. We've hit rock bottom.
- Hmm.
Come here, little guy.
Can you say da-da? Say da-da.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Oh.
It doesn't really matter where we
live, as long as we're together.
Family hug!
- Betty?
- Hmm?
Exactly where did you get those eggs?
Sorry.
I think it might be twins.
There he is!
You're a traitor, Flintstone!
- Listen to me. I'm your friend.
- You're no friend of ours!
You're a rotten bowler too!
Good morning, Mr. Flint...
They made a fool of me.
Look what they had to work with.
Flintstone, heard you were
down in the file room.
Find anything interesting?
Yeah! I'm on to your little scam.
Billing phony companies and
keeping the money for yourself.
- I'm going to Mr. Slate.
- Good idea.
Turning yourself in might
buy you a little leniency.
- Me? This entire scheme was your idea.
- True.
But I've graciously decided
to give you all the credit,
since it's your name
on the requisitions.
I never touched any of that money!
Hmm. Fred, please.
Remodeling your house, furs, jewelry,
a fully-equipped Le Sabertooth.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should
have been more discreet.
I'm innocent!
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.
Miss Stone, call security.
Tell them we've
uncovered an embezzler.
Miss Stone,
you'll back me up, won't ya?
You better run while you
still have a chance.
You'll never get away with this.
I already have.
Here comes the pterodactyl.
- Mmm-mmm-mmm.
- It's no use, Mother.
She misses Fred.
I hope it's not that
pesky Avrok lady again.
Oh!
- Betty!
- Oh.
- Bamm-Bamm!
- I have missed you so much.
I don't care what Barney said.
I couldn't let you go through this alone.
- Have you heard from Fred?
- No.
I spoke to a lawyer.
If he's missing seven years,
you can remarry.
Mother!
Well, wherever Fred is,
I hope he knows I still love him.
Oh.
Calling all Bedrock units,
all Bedrock units.
Tonight, in a special edition
of Bedrock's Most Wanted,
we bring you the story
that's rocked our city,
"The Case of the
Embezzling Executive."
Mr. Flintstone, what are you doing?
I'm an executive. I'm embezzling.
I'm shocked!
How could you ever marry that man?
Mother! That man is not my husband.
That's right. He plays Dr. Gravelman
on The Young And The Thumbless.
Fred might be a lot of things
but a thief is not one of them.
- Can he prove it?
- Who cares?
Yabba-dabba-dabba!
This menace remains at large...
We ask the public's
help in apprehending...
Maybe I can.
A little something to take that
chill off. Take a swig of this.
Put hair on your knuckles.
Tell me something... You one of those guys
that was laid off at the stone quarry?
I used to work there.
A lot of guys here would
like to get their hands
on the guy who's
responsible for all this.
- So they could hear his side of the story?
- What? His side of the story?
Huh? Flintstone!
Flintstone!
It is! Flintstone!
Squealer!
Get him!
Just think.
This time tomorrow, we'll be
on a pterodactyl winging our...
- Oh, Cliff.
- Hmm?
How come there's only
one ticket to Rocapulco?
For your protection, darling. I thought
I would go on a "business trip,"
while you stay here to
keep up appearances.
Then, when we're sure
it's safe, I'll send for you.
Forgive me, Cliff.
Looks like you've
thought of everything.
Psst. Excuse me!
- Hello.
- No, Mumsie, I don't want to go to school.
The other boys make fun of me.
Wake up!
Oh, Mrs. Flintstone. To what do
I owe the honor of this break-in?
I need your help, Mr. Bird.
You hear everything that
goes on in this office.
Hmm-hmm.
You are the only one who
can help clear my husband.
What a delicious irony.
Thank you for sharing it with me.
Now, let me share something with you.
Oh, now, Wilma, calm down.
- Maybe I can reason with him.
- Ow!
There. All set.
You know, my only regret
is I won't be around
when that shoddy new equipment
blows up in their big, dumb faces.
Oh, well, I'll just have to console
myself with all that money.
Hey, who's that?
That's Flintstone's wife.
What would she want
with a stinky old dict...
Son of a brachiosaurus!
Well, Cliff. I guess you
haven't thought of everything.
Oh, this is far from over.
String him up!
You can't do this. I was framed!
In a minute you're going to be boxed.
Anybody want a snow cone?
- Barney!
- Fred!
- What are you doing here?
- I'm getting lynched!
Oh. I got cherry, lime, rocky road.
Do you know this guy?
Know him? He used
to be my best friend.
In a way, if it wasn't for me,
this whole mess probably
wouldn't have happened.
Thanks for filling us in. We could've
made a very big mistake here.
- Hang both of 'em.
- What?
Gee, take it easy. They make
you pay for your own uniforms.
Barney, I thought you
came to save me.
Save you? I saw a crowd,
I figured I'd sell a few snow cones.
- You mean you haven't forgiven me yet?
- Nope.
And frankly, I don't think
this is going to help.
- I took a cherry.
- I can't break a 20.
Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute!
Look, Barn, I know you're
still a little mad at me.
But I want you to know, if I had to
have someone hanging next to me,
I'm glad it's you.
I guess switchin' them tests didn't turn
out much like I planned, huh, Fred?
Hey, got any lemon?
Check in the back.
Gee, why can't business
be this good every day?
The story of my life.
- I'm a loser.
- No, you're not.
This makes me a winner?
No, but you're the best
friend a guy ever had
and that makes you a
winner in my book, pal.
Me...
I'm just a big jerk.
Ah, everybody loves you, Fred.
Except for this lynch mob.
Ah, Barn.
Ah, Fred.
You'll have plenty of time
to bond in the afterlife.
Wilma, look!
Watch out for that tree!
Now wait, everybody.
Fred is innocent.
Barney, do you have to
do everything Fred does?
Everybody, listen to him.
First things first.
I demand an apology.
- I'm sorry!
- Not you, him.
Me? Apologize to a bird?
Not Fred Flintstone!
I had hoped we might be
colleagues but instead,
you've treated me as if I were an
ordinary piece of office furniture.
I may eat bugs, but I have
feelings, Mr. Flintstone.
And you've hurt them.
Aww.
Uh, well, look, I know I could've
been a little more sensitive.
- Especially when you were molting.
- Oh.
So, I'm... Sorry.
I don't think they
heard you in the back.
- I'm sorry.
- Pardon?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
- Oh.
Now, then, gather 'round, everyone.
I'll tell you the tale of
an unsophisticated man
caught up in a treacherous
web of power,
deceit and lust.
Ooh, yeah.
Why is the door open?
- Betty, the door is open!
- Wilma, something's wrong!
- Pebbles!
- Bamm-Bamm!
What kind of madman would
do something like this?
That's a poor poochie.
That's a baby.
- Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are gone!
- They left this.
- It's a note.
- If you want to see your kids again,
bring the Dictabird to the
quarry at dawn. No police.
Mr. Flintstone.
Stealing office equipment,
really. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Is this the kind of example you
want to set for your daughter?
- Where are the kids?
- The bird, please.
- First, we want our children.
- Of course.
Bamm-Bamm!
Take one more step, Mr. Rubble,
and this quarry's safety record
will be severely tarnished.
Now, give me the bird.
Go on, Fred. Give him what he wants.
- What?
- Don't worry, I got a plan.
We're gonna get the kids back
and then we'll rescue you.
What a strategist.
I should have signed with Disney.
They never would've allowed
this sort of thing to happen.
- Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
- Easy.
And in the words of
my beloved mother,
I'm taking the money and
moving to a warmer climate.
Help, Daddy!
Let's discuss this, Cliff.
May I call you Cliff?
Barney, too much pressure.
One, two, three...
Nice goin'.
- Now what do we do?
- You get the kids, I'll try and stop this.
Whoa!
Cliff y, have I ever told you you
have a very distinguished chin?
Shut up! Ahh!
Whoa!
Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Oh, dear, Oh, dear.
Too many years behind
a desk. Mayday, mayday!
Hi, da-da.
You did it! You called me da-da!
Oh, Barney, you lunkhead!
What am I going to do?
I gotta think of somethin'.
Not now.
Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Help, help!
Save me! Save me
from this mad M.B.A.!
- Don't worry. I'll take care of him.
- My hero.
Yipes.
Flintstone, kiss your bird good-bye.
Oh, mama.
Will there be anything
else, Mr. Flintstone?
No, Miss Stone.
Take the rest of the day off.
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Cliff?
It's time for you and
me to interface.
- Aah!
- Stee-rike!
And then, Cliff said,
"True. But I've graciously decided
to give you all the credit,
"since it's your name on all
the requisition forms."
Mr. Flintstone, I may
not be in on Monday.
Don't worry, Miss Stone.
I'll tell 'em what you did.
- They'll let you off easy.
- I've been a very bad girl.
But you have to admit,
I was very, very good at it.
Come on, do it for Mommy. Who am I?
- Bamm-Bamm!
- Oh.
Thank goodness, you're all right.
Well, I'm not going to jail, but it
won't be easy getting a new job.
What kind of reference is
Mr. Slate gonna give me
after I destroyed his quarry?
None of this was your fault.
Mr. Slate will understand.
Flintstone!
Sure, now he gets my name right.
How did this happen?
Mr. Slate, it all started when the
Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Not that!
How did this happen to Cliff?
Well, you see, Mr. Slate,
the machinery went haywire and
the rocks got all crushed up
and that got mixed in with water
and that came all down the hill.
- Mr. Slate, I'm sorry!
- Sorry?
I love this stuff!
I'm gonna name it after
my daughter Concretia.
Flintstone, you're a genius!
Me? Really? Why?
Don't you see? Thanks to concrete,
man can now shape his own destiny.
- The Stone Age is over!
- Ahh.
First thing, I want you to hire
back all the men, Flintstone.
- We're going into production immediately.
- We?
That's right.
You are hereby promoted to President
of the entire concrete division.
Yabba...
That's a real nice offer, Mr. Slate,
but unfortunately, I'm gonna
have to turn you down.
Don't listen to him, Mr. Slate.
Fred, it's a great job!
This time, you deserve it.
Barney, all my life I
wanted to be a somebody.
And when I finally did, I turned
into somebody I didn't like.
Good grief, man,
have you lost your mind?
This could make you rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
I was always the richest
man in the world.
I just never knew it.
So, if it's okay with you, Mr. Slate,
all I want is my old job
back and my old life.
Fred.
And two weeks paid vacation
for all the men in the quarry,
an annual cost of livin' increase
and those little packets of
ketchup in the lunchroom.
Done!
Thanks, boss. See you
at the company picnic.
There goes the best
executive I ever had.
- Fred, I'm so proud of you.
- And I'm proud of you, Barney.
- I'm starving!
- Me too!
What do you say we get some breakfast.
Snake and eggs for everybody.
- My treat.
- Great.
Barney...
- Yeah, Fred?
- Spot me a couple bucks? I'm a little short.
- Not this time!
- What?
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will
stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the
family down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
The Flintstones!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will
stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Yeah!
Yabba-dabba-doo!
I was travelin' to Earth
and what did I spot
A little village by the water
Sign said Bedrock
I met this kid named Fred
He didn't wear no socks
He had a part-time gig at
the Gravel Pit slingin' rocks
Said he was into hip hop
Could he kick a spell I told him go for it
Bust a verse said what you think
I said you're style is prehistoric
Sounds stuck in the Stone Age
You're still using a hammer and chisel
Carving out your
lyrics on stone pages
It's about time you heard a style
from a real before-the-wheel rapper
Set it off and he
said yabba-dabba-doo
Then he got to prove
The fella's suddenly standing
In the middle of a
crowd of K drummers
Sayin' tell us how you flipped
the script and ripped
I get busy one time they said yeah
yeah I'm hip, I'm hip
Didn't know the time
Didn't know about fly
Sol, you know, I had to show
a Cave Man how to rock
In the Stone Age
I showed a Cave Man how to rock
Yabba-dabba-doo!
In the Stone Age
I showed a Cave Man how to rock
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Barney Rubble
Fred Flintstone
Hey, Freddie boy
Don't try to get too close
I don't want to catch a mammoth dose
We'll meet at the Bedrock disco
Who cares that I got T. Rex
On my radio
On this prehistoric day
I feel duty-bound to say
Before I reach my destination
On this prehistoric day
I feel duty-bound to say
I owes an explanation
Give me one good reason
Give me two good reasons
Give me three good reasons
Why's men do what they do
Yabba-dabba-doo Yabba-dabba-doo
Yabba-dabba-doo
Anarchy in Bedrock
Stop in some time and
meet Betty and Wilma
Try some Flint upside-down
Rubble bubble cake
Or just try
Fruity Pebbles
'Cause I
Wanna be
Fred Flintstone
Is this the U.S.D.A.?
Is this Hollywood
Is this Bedrock
I thought it was Hollyrock
'Cause I
Wanna be
Fred Flintstone
Yabba-dabba-doo
Wilma!