The Etruscan Smile (2018) - full transcript
Relative newcomers Oded Binnun and Mihal Brezis are directing from a script by Michael McGowan, Sarah Bellwood and Michal Lali Kagan. The story follows tough old Scotsman Rory MacNeil as he travels from his home in the remote island of Vallasay, Scotland to San Francisco. Seeking treatment for a terminal illness the colorful character stays with his son and his family. Rory finds his precious days left alive transformed as he bonds with his American grandson. Based on the Spanish novel La sonrisa etrusca by José Luis Sampedro, the story's setting has been shifted from Italy to the US.
[BIRDS CHATTER]
[HE GRUNTS]
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYS]
- [CAMERA CLICKS] - [PEOPLE LAUGH]
[MAN]: Alright, ready?
- [CAMERA CLICKS] - [THEY LAUGH]
Hope they're not on your ferry out tomorrow morning.
I hear the whiskey in America tastes like water.
tastes like water.
Let's hope this drink finishes your liver off for good.
Oh, come off it, MacNeil.
Everyone knows, whatever you've got
it's bad.
When you get on that ferry tomorrow
we'll be seeing the back of you
- forever. - Don't you worry.
Christmas Eve, I'll be pissing on the flowers of your grave.
Drinks for everyone!
On me!
Tonight, we celebrate the demise of Rory MacNeil
who's going to die far, far away.
Like an old dog crawling into a dark hole
deep in the ground to die.
- Give it back. - Come and get it, cripple!
- [MUSIC STOPS] - [MAN]: Oh, not again.
We're not done, you and I.
Drop dead already Campbell.
Only after you...
Old man!
[SHEEP BLEAT]
[RORY SIGHS]
[HE GASPS]
[HE SIGHS]
[HE GRUNTS IN PAIN]
Fraser...
[CAR APPROACHES]
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
[FRASER]: I'll give you some for the journey.
After that, you need to see your doctor.
Well, that's why I have you.
[FRASER]: No, no, I'm cutting you off.
These pills are used to treat the horses.
I'm a vet, for Christ's sake.
Well, I'm an old horse
racing towards the finishing line.
It is a line you may not cross
unless you get on that flight and get some help.
Now, if you want to outlive Campbell, you will listen to me.
Oh, maybe I should just stick the old bastard with my knife
and then there'll be no need for me to fly to America.
Don't start that again.
I'm not going.
[PLANE ENGINE ROARS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAN]: Dad!
Dad! Hey!
[MAN]: Can we get you a taxi, sir?
Can I get you a taxi?
- Hm? - You speak English?
Can I get you a ride into the city?
- Aye. - Here, let me take that.
Right this way.
[AIR HOSTESSES CHAT AND GIGGLE]
Rory? Rory!
You.
Where are you going?
You never showed up.
Can you give my dad his suitcase please?
Is this your son, sir?
[IAN]: Let's go, I'm parked in the lot.
The bloody lights of the city outshine the stars.
What's that, Dad?
Nothing, just admiring your city.
Oh, made you something.
You remember how you used to love to ride those horses
down on Donovan's farm?
I do.
I mean, I did love that.
Maybe we can give it to Jamie?
- Who? - Jamie, our baby.
Oh, yes.
How is the wee lassie?
Jamie's a boy.
Of course.
So Emily and I were wondering what finally dragged you
off the island.
It was time to see you, I told you on the phone.
You can't smoke in here, Dad.
It's a smoke-free environment.
Smoke-free what?
Smoking'll kill you, Dad.
Or hasn't the memo reached Vallasay yet?
Life'll kill ya.
This is it.
I'd rather take the stairs, where are they?
- Back that way. - [ELEVATOR DINGS]
A man should always be able to walk into his own house.
We're on the 19th floor, Dad.
Never mind.
Em's dad knew someone on the condo board
otherwise... well, we'd never have been approved.
Approved?
Yeah, it's how you get into one of these places, Dad.
Well, let's just keep them guessing for another 24 hours.
- OK? Thank you, bye. - [HEADSET BEEPS]
[SHE SIGHS]
[QUIETLY]: Oh, we're so happy to finally have you here.
Why are you whispering?
Oh, I just put Jamie back to sleep.
He's such a light sleeper and uh...
I know you're probably dying to see him.
Is it OK if we do that tomorrow?
Oh, oh, well... aye.
Great, yeah, the tenth month is the most crucial
for developing, like, a really healthy sleeping pattern
- so... - [PHONE BEEPS]
Oh... I got that conference call in two minutes.
Oh, Ian, also, Frida just could not get the bed open.
- So... - That's fine, I'll do it.
Thank you.
Once again, really so, so happy you're here, Dad.
Why is she calling me "Dad"?
It's an American thing. Come on, let's get you sorted.
Emily's dad has boxes at the ball park.
You should come. It's cool.
Cool.
So, Emily...
she still works at the hospital?
Not anymore. She's got her own firm now.
Why?
You remember Doc Fraser?
Sure.
Well, he swore me to get a medical check-up
while I'm here.
- Is everything OK? - Oh, fine.
Fit as a fiddle.
Just a wee pain in the back, that's all.
Anyhow, anything to stop the old bugger
from getting his gallices in a fangle.
Keep him calm, you know.
Yeah, we can arrange that.
Oh, that'll be grand.
So, the bathroom's down the hall, and...
I'll see you in the morning.
Uh, Ian...
I'm glad to see you again.
[HE SIGHS]
[HE GRUNTS]
[HE GRUNTS AND SIGHS]
[SIRENS WAIL]
[BABY CRIES]
[HE SIGHS]
[BABY CRIES]
Maybe I should just take a peek.
- Make sure he's OK. - No, Ian.
Remember what the sleep consultant said?
No, I know, I know.
He has to feel the success of soothing himself back to sleep
but come on!
[BABY CRIES]
He didn't come here to see us.
- What? - Dad.
He doesn't give a crap about us.
Didn't even care if he saw Jamie.
You saw how he reacted.
I think he just didn't wanna wake him up.
I thought he was being very thoughtful.
Thoughtful? Where was he when Jamie was born?
He never even replied to any of the messages I sent him.
Let alone bought him a present or sent a card.
Well, why do you think he came then?
He wants to see a doctor.
Muck!
I haven't seen the man for 15 years and...
he comes here to couch-surf and scrounge a free medical.
Give him a little bit more credit, Ian.
I'm sure he didn't come all this way just to see a doctor.
[BABY CRIES]
Oh...
You've got a fine set of lungs on you, laddie.
I'll grant you that.
[CAR HORNS BEEP]
I was thinking, we don't even need plates
we just use the table as a canvas
and then watch everyone try to wrap their heads round
how to eat it, yeah.
[IAN GIGGLES]
Yeah. I know!
Alright.
Wait for me to try out the new centrifuge, will you?
Yeah, I'm on my way.
No breakfast?
[IAN]: This is breakfast.
You're off to the laboratory?
[IAN]: Kitchen.
I'm a sous-chef at White River.
- It's a restaurant. - Didn't you study chemistry?
I specialise in what's called molecular gastronomy, Dad.
How'd you sleep?
Oh, like your baby.
Sorry about that, we're sleep training him.
Emily not breast-feeding then?
- No. She wanted to. - Aye...
but she does have breasts?
- Dad! - [EMILY]: Good morning.
There you are, Dad. I hope you slept well.
Um, oh! I wanted to let you know I went ahead
and made an appointment for you with a doctor
and I scheduled that for tomorrow. Is that OK?
Oh, I see. Ian told you.
Ah, well, you know, it's nothing serious.
I think Jamie is starving.
[IAN]: I'm on it. I'm on it!
[EMILY]: Honey...
- [BABY GURGLES] - Oh, here we are.
[EMILY]: Hey, baby.
Good boy.
Look who came to see you.
Yeah, Grandpa came to see you. Yeah.
- Grandpa came to see you. - Alright, look. I've gotta go.
- OK... - Here you go.
[BABY GURGLES]
There we go.
- [PHONE RINGS] - Oh.
Do you wanna hold him?
While I grab that, I...
I'm late for that call, they keep bothering me.
- Oh. - There we go, see, look.
Yeah, oh.
- OK... - Oops! Hello?
No, around the other...
There you go. No, no, it's OK, baby.
No, not you. Hold on, I'm gonna put you on hold for a second.
- [BABY CRIES] - Alright, you'll be fine.
Frida!
Can you keep an extra close eye on him with Jamie?
- Great, thank you. - [RORY]: Here, here, here.
- [BABY CRIES] - It's OK, mi amor.
Come, come, my love.
Come, come.
It's your beard. He's scared.
- Oh. - [SHE COOS]
[BABY GURGLES]
Please, senor, not pick him up.
I wasn't going to.
Hi. Hi, my love!
Hi, my love.
Why shouldn't I pick him up?
After all, he is my grandson.
- He needs to work. - Babies don't work.
Emily says he's behind his cross-crawl.
He needs to practise.
- [TOY SQUEAKS] - Come!
He must learn how to be autonomous.
Och, nonsense!
- [TOY SQUEAKS] - [FRIDA]: Good job!
Emily did research.
[BABY GURGLES]
[RORY SIGHS]
[VACUUM CLEANER ROARS]
[BABY CRIES]
Och, come on, bairn.
Man up!
- Man up! - [BABY CRIES]
Oh, for fuck's sake!
[SIRENS WAIL]
- [TRAM BELL RINGS] - [HORN HONKS]
Only one way across enemy territory!
- [HE YELLS] - [HORNS HONK]
[MAN]: What are you doing?
[SHOP ASSISTANT]: There you go.
And how is your day today, sir?
Give me the bloodiest thing you've got.
Mm.
Mm.
You want some, hm?
Are you man enough? [RORY CHUCKLES]
Mm.
Ooh, yeah?
[HE BABBLES AND CHUCKLES]
Oh, he's a MacNeil alright!
[RORY LAUGHS]
[HE COUGHS]
[IAN]: Dad?
Dad, where have you been?
I was out two hours looking for you.
- You had us worried sick. - I took the boy for a stroll.
What? You can't just pick him up and leave, Dad.
We had no way of contacting you. You didn't even take any food.
I fed him. You think I'd starve my own grandson?
You're not hungry?
I thought Emily made it clear, they were not to be left alone.
Who's she to chaperone me?
I'm his grandfather.
You just wait until Emily gets back.
You better hope she doesn't send you on the next flight
back to Glasgow.
So she's the one wearing the pants around here.
If you've got something to say to me, say it in English.
How's about this for English?
Get the hell out of here while I have a piss!
You have no idea what he's been like.
Alright, well...
- let me handle it this time, OK? - Good luck with that.
God, he always shaves when he wants to impress a woman.
It's ridiculous.
All ready for my scolding now.
Why don't we have a seat?
So, did you...
- enjoy your afternoon with Jamie? - Och!
We had a ball.
[HE SIGHS]
Well, you had us all a bit...
- worried. - Ah.
But, I'd like to apologise.
You must be overwhelmed
exhausted, and uh...
we have not been as attentive as we should have been.
- Right, Ian? - [IAN]: What?
You're joking.
And I apologise for that and hope that you're not offended.
[IAN SCOFFS]
Not at all.
Apology accepted.
Good.
Also...
I have something for you
to help us communicate better.
Wow.
Yeah.
Actually, I've taken the liberty
of including you into Jamie's calendar.
Hm.
Great, that's...
all settled then.
I'm gonna go say goodnight to Jamie.
Uh, one thing I couldn't help notice...
the boy's got his own room.
Why doesn't he sleep with you like it's always been done?
Well, what we've learned
is that to develop a healthy attachment
babies need to learn
- to become... - Autonomous.
Right.
Autonomous.
[BABY CRIES]
I can't take it anymore.
- I'm going, I'm... - Ian, please, just...
let it go.
See?
By the book.
[BABY GURGLES]
Your seanair is here.
Do you know what seanair means?
Aye? That's Gaelic for Grandpa.
[IAN]: Emily worked really hard to get you in.
It's an excellent hospital, one of the best in the world.
Ah? Americans, aye, think they're the best.
That's why they need good hospitals.
For all the shite they eat
and all the filthy air they breathe.
Try not to say anything like that
at the gala this evening, will you?
It's the truth.
Truth or not, they don't like it when you say
what you really think about things here.
Hm, if I said what I really thought...
[RORY LAUGHS]
[INDISTINCT HOSPITAL ANNOUNCEMENT]
[MACHINE WHIRS]
[DOCTOR]: And we're done.
How bad is it?
Well, we need to check your...
scans and your samples, so it'll take a few days
but from what I've seen
you've got the heart of a 50-year-old.
[RORY LAUGHS]
I wish Campbell were here to hear that.
- Who's Campbell, your son? - No, worse.
[RORY LAUGHS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAN]: I couldn't believe it either!
It was the funniest thing that I've seen all year...
[GUESTS LAUGH]
Here we go. Cheers.
What can I get for you tonight, sir?
We've got an array of molecular specialities.
We've got "Love in the Asylum"
"Blood On The Tracks", "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes".
Just give me something that will burn my throat as it goes down.
OK.
[MAN AT BAR]: Decadence.
Interchangeability.
It bores me, to be honest.
All that mystery when I was growing up, just gone.
Nothing left to wonder at these days.
Is it like that where you're from too?
Where I come from...
a woman is a woman
and she doesn't need to prove it.
- [MAN CHUCKLES] - Here you go, sir.
Slàinte!
Same to you.
[HE LAUGHS]
What the hell is this?
"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"
it'll give you that burn you're looking for.
Smoke gets in my bollocks is more like it.
I had a feeling I'd like you.
- You did? - I did.
- Dad. - Hey, honey!
God, you look great.
Thank you. Are you being impossible?
No!
How did you two find each other here?
Process of elimination.
It's called a clan tartan or something, isn't it?
Oh, aye, these colours have been in the family
for, oh, well over 200 years.
It's beautiful. It's just what we need to spice up this event.
Good for you.
You know, you two should really try Ian's food.
It's really exciting.
Um, anyway.
Um, I will check on you two in a bit.
- OK. Knock 'em dead. - Thanks.
What we wouldn't do for them, eh, Rory?
Who?
Our children.
Oh, aye, aye, aye.
Probably, aye.
Are you ready to come up?
It never turns out exactly how I pictured it in my mind.
Hey.
Seriously.
I am so proud of you.
I mean, just look at everything.
It's just you and your vision.
Enjoy it, Ian.
Even your dad now knows what a brilliant chef you are.
My dad?
Is that what he said?
Why don't you come ask him yourself?
This stuff is celestial.
Oh!
And this from one of San Francisco's famous foodies!
I'm impressed.
[RORY]: Mm... oh!
That's surprising.
I thought it was an egg.
Well, that's molecular for you.
My son, he makes these?
Well, he does now. Watch and learn.
Oh, God, oh!
Are you OK?
Look who I managed to drag out of the kitchen.
Oh! Stunning job, Ian. We're all very, very impressed.
The tux pants not your size, Dad?
Oh, a man in a kilt is a man and a half, laddie.
And you should know that.
Listen, everybody, I would actually like to propose
a toast.
I just wanna say that
it's such a privilege to be standing here at this event
that was so tastefully and elegantly prepared
by my very own daughter.
- Dad, you don't have to... - No, honey.
Let me blow your horn for a minute, OK?
You're always plugging everybody else.
Your mum.
if she could see how you've grown up...
And to my son-in-law, Ian. I just want to say that, uh...
we're all flabbergasted at your...
bold and unexpected metamorphosis
from chemist to cook.
So, no more of that sous-chef bullshit.
From now on, Ian is going to be wearing the chef's hat
in his very own restaurant.
I made the first down payment this morning.
- You didn't! - I did!
Cheers.
I've set up a meeting for you with a guy named Jeff Stradlow.
He's the best there is.
He's gonna handle the business end of things.
All you have to do is walk in and do your thing.
[EMILY]: That is just so surprising.
I mean, we had no idea!
It's really exciting.
Oh, wow, yeah. I don't know what to say.
- No worries. - I think he means
to say thank you.
Of course, sorry. Thank you, thank you so much.
Come on. Here, give us a hug. Come on!
Come on! Partners.
Here we go, that's my boy.
Hey, Dad, next time you come
you'll be a guest at my own restaurant.
The best way to tame your horse...
is to shoot his balls off.
[FRANK]: What'd he just say?
I'm not sure, my Gaelic's a bit rusty.
I've gotta get back to the kitchen.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAN]: Well, I saw something very similar in New York.
[WOMAN]: Is that where you're from?
It is, originally...
Oh!
Don't touch it please, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I never meant any harm...
Woah, please.
Terracotta is a very sensitive material.
It's a miracle they survived at all.
That smile, huh?
They look as if they're having a right ball, those two.
[WOMAN]: It's a burial tomb.
This is how the Etruscans pictured their dead.
- They don't look dead to me. - Why?
You can't die with a smile?
I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a man...
in a kilt, before.
Ah...
Doesn't go down big in San Francisco, I think.
No, it's... it's a great look.
So is yours.
Better than those ladies back there.
Huge fake tits to go with their huge fake smiles.
If you know what I mean.
Do you come here often?
I work here.
Well, maybe I'll come again.
- In the daytime. - You should.
We have guided tours.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Don't touch.
I won't.
[GUIDE]: This is one of the world's
three great natural harbours
right in the heart of downtown.
Over there, you can see Treasure Island.
It was a military base until 2008
when they finally started letting civilians...
[SPLASH]
[RORY SINGS IN GAELIC]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Are you Ian MacNeil?
- [IAN]: Yes. - Is this your father?
What did he do?
Armed robbery. [HE SCOFFS]
[OFFICER]: I understand he's not from around here
so I'm gonna let this one slide.
Be sure to tell your father
that we don't allow nude swimming in public spaces.
Thank you, officer. We appreciate that.
[OFFICER]: You have a good night.
Thank you, officer.
It was lovely to spend the evening with you.
Pleasure meeting you, sir.
A very nice man.
[BELLS TOLL]
[RORY GARGLES]
Telephone for you, senor.
For me?
[FRIDA]: Si.
Who could it be?
Who even knows I'm here...?
Hello?
Fraser, you old sod!
You don't say.
Frida!
Campbell.
Liver failure!
Oh, good news!
- [HE CHUCKLES] - [BABY GURGLES]
Oh, he's dying, he's dying, he's dying!
Yes, yes, yes! He's going to die first, laddie!
And then I'm going back to Vallasay
and you're gonna come with me.
You'll taste the liquor and the meat
of real men!
[RORY LAUGHS]
Mm.
Tonight, we celebrate.
Is that Mum's stew?
My stew.
Don't you remember? I always used to cook it up
on special occasions.
- It was you? - Aye.
Wow!
What's all this?
Dad's cooked a celebratory dinner.
Sit down...
and dig in.
It's hot.
See? He's coming around.
You should try it, it's Dad's recipe.
This is delicious.
Ah.
I know that knife.
It was supposed to be yours but you didn't want it.
It's not that I didn't want it. I was just too young.
[RORY]: Too feared.
Well, I'm old enough now.
This belongs to Jamie.
I'm gonna hold it till he's older.
That is delicious.
Then you'll love the blood sausage.
It's no black pudding, but it's the closest thing
- to... - Uh, don't bother.
Even I can't stand black pudding.
Oh, come on!
You used to love it when you
- were a bairn. - Dad, I don't like it...
Come on, come on. Come on, son!
Celebrate with me, hm?
I've never felt better in my life.
I reckon, no more doctors.
What are you talking about?
The old prick is gonna die first.
- Campbell? - Ha, ha!
Yes. Got the news this morning.
From Fraser.
So we owe this visit of yours...
- to Campbell? - Uh-huh.
Wait, who's Campbell?
What is it this time?
Which one of you kicks the bucket first?
Oh.
You'll never change, Dad.
Mum was right.
If it was up to you, nothing in this world would ever change.
Change? What for?
By the way, we're celebrating a dying man.
Well, I was hoping that we were...
celebrating your restaurant.
So did I.
Stupidly. But no, all of this...
this is for Alasdair Campbell who's now apparently dying.
- Hallelujah. - According to my dad
he's devoted his entire life to this very moment.
It was your dog he poisoned.
No one knows that for sure, Dad!
[SHE WHISPERS]: Shh! Jamie.
You wanna know something about my dad?
When we found my dog, Angus, dead in the yard
I wanted to bury the poor fellow like he deserved.
But no, you thought otherwise, didn't you?
No, you let him rot!
And then he carried his decayed carcass
and put it on Campbell's doorstep.
Why would you do that?
That's how it works in Vallasay, it's called a feud.
Don't blame me.
- I didn't start it. - Oh, of course not.
Nothing to do with you!
No say in the matter whatsoever!
You're just an innocent heir to a rivalry
which no MacNeil or Campbell has been able to settle
since 1764, when Muriall MacNeil
broke off her engagement to Lachlan Campbell!
Legend has it, Muriall got a sneak peak
under Campbell's kilt and didn't like what she saw.
So then the Campbells went and castrated
all of the MacNeil cattle.
Of course, the MacNeils couldn't let that go unpunished
could they? Etc, etc, etc...
Well, I'm glad you remember it after all these years.
He always had better things to do than to help his old dad.
All you ever did was take the piss out of me
- and call me "a little coward"! - [RORY]: Then!
Then, he upped sticks and left Vallasay.
Thought it was beneath him.
I didn't run away, Dad!
I got a scholarship to Berkley!
What was I supposed to do?
Spend my life playing your bloody games?
Little coward!
It wasn't the scholarship.
That wasn't why you left Vallasay.
You're right, Dad.
It wasn't Vallasay that I left.
It was you.
Aye. You did.
And now...
Now you're one of them. Spoilt rotten.
You teach your son to be autonomous!
[HE SCOFFS] But you're still a bairn
playing with your chemistry set.
And it's too late!
Too late to teach you how to be a man!
[DOOR SLAMS]
It's the blind leading the fucking blind around here
my boy.
To them...
the stars are invisible in San Francisco.
Lucky, you have me around
to guide you.
Oh, you've never seen a sky more beautiful
than the one in Vallasay.
The old prick is enjoying it right now
but he'll be gone soon enough
and then, my boy...
Then it'll be you and I
gazing at the stars together.
Generally speaking, you are in excellent condition
for your age, except of course...
what brings you here.
There is no easy way to say this.
Your PET and CT scans confirm
that you have stage four prostate cancer.
And how many stages are there?
Four.
The appropriate medical term is "metastasised" prostate cancer.
At this stage, chemotherapy is not recommended
- or effective... - [CHURCH BELL TOLLS]
And in these cases...
we prescribe oxycodone for the bone pain
as well as hormonal treatments.
We need to get shots once a week.
Now, sir, do you understand what I have just said?
How long do I have?
That is so hard to say
and I'm reluctant to give these kinds of estimations
since they tend to be a calculated guess
- at best... - Guess then.
I would rather not.
A week, months, a year?
- Less than a year? - Sir, please.
There are so many variables to factor, as I said
you are in excellent physical condition.
Why don't you just give me a bloody number?
- OK, um... thank you, Doctor. - No, wait.
I haven't finished yet.
Can I ask you a question?
Yes, yes, of course.
How long does it take to die from cirrhosis of the liver?
Someone my age had it about five years.
Can't walk without a cane.
Yellow in the face for the past few months.
They say he might have liver failure.
Sir, do you expect me to answer this seriously?
Hm. Just what I thought.
You're good for nothing.
- [RORY LAUGHS] - [BABY GURGLES]
[RORY]: There we go, oh, ah! Oh!
- [DOOR SLAMS] - What did you do?
What the hell are you talking about?
I got a message from Emily to come home immediately
so I had to leave service again.
It's like being in Groundhog Day.
Oh, it's not my fault that doctor's an idiot.
You went to the doctor again today?
Yeah, got cancer, stage four.
Eh, whatever the hell that means.
What did he say? W-what...
- exactly did he say? - He didn't say anything!
That hack couldn't make a clear sentence
if his life depended upon it.
But he used the word "cancer".
- Yeah. - Dad!
Oh, I'm fine, Ian.
Don't fuss over me.
We've got to have our super-fun time together.
Haven't we, Jamie? We've got plans!
Yeah, haven't we Jamie, boy? Eh? [RORY CHUCKLES]
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Are you OK?
Will you watch where you're going?
Stop!
Stop!
Are you alright?
Jamie... Christ!
[HE BLUSTERS] Stupid, stupid, stupid old man!
Oh, my...
Oh, hey, hey, hey!
That's, that's my grandson.
- Oh, it's you! - Uh-huh!
Are you crazy, leaving a baby alone like this?
I lost my head, I got, I got...
I got pickpocketed like some pathetic tourist.
So you left your grandson to chase after your wallet?
You're lucky I'm the one that found him.
What would I have done? I-I...
I'm new to all this.
Oh look, I think he likes you, you know.
He's beginning to play.
- You can have him back now. - Uh-huh.
There we are. Oh, it's good to have you safe and sound, eh?
Safe and sound, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, you're leaving?
Yes, babysitting hours are up and I've got actual work to do.
But we've come all this way!
And you promised us a guided tour.
Uh... Claudia.
Uh, Rory MacNeil, by the way and this here is Jamie MacNeil.
Yes, well, guided tours are in the morning, sir
and, um, I'm not a guide.
Mm... come on, laddie.
I think we've got some actual work to do.
Hm?
Why do they make them so damn ugly?
Wait a minute, are you...
really interested, or are...
you just messing with me?
Course I'm interested.
Well, the Romans considered it a sign of character
not to camouflage your blemishes.
Your scars and your wrinkles
were your badge of experience.
You don't say.
Oh.
[HE GROANS]
Mr MacNeil?
Are you OK?
I think I'm having a wee turn.
- Shall we call the paramedics? - [MAN]: I dunno.
[CLAUDIA]: Are you feeling alright, Rory?
[MAN]: Are you OK, sir?
I'm still here, prick
- What? What? - I think he's speaking Gaelic.
Has this ever happened to you before?
What can I say?
I must have overdone it on the whiskey last night.
Ahem. Er, if you don't mind my asking...
was that Gaelic you were speaking?
Aye, what's it to you?
I've been taking part in a study over at the university
about endangered languages.
They would just love you over there.
And they would pay you, of course.
Don't need the money.
It's not really about the money.
It's for future generations.
I'll do it...
if you come.
What, are you asking me out on a date?
Oh, no, no, not at all. It's not a date.
Did you not hear the man?
It's for future generations.
Isn't that right, Jamie? Hm?
[JAMIE GURGLES]
[RORY CHUCKLES]
You don't know what it feels like yet...
to love a woman.
But some day, Jamie...
Some day.
- [JAMIE GURGLES] - [RORY CHUCKLES]
Och, it's not time to die!
You know?
When your stars are aligned in your favour.
Ah...
He was coughing.
I just popped in to check.
Yeah, me too.
Right.
Goodnight, then.
Goodnight, Dad.
[DOCTOR]: There might be some pain and nausea
during these days of treatments
so don't be afraid to let us know.
Afraid?
Of pain?
[RORY SCOFFS]
Oh, there's a lot you don't know about Scotsmen.
I suggest you go home now and take a good rest.
[IAN]: Dad?
Dad? Hey!
What're you doing here?
I thought I'd come and get you.
You asked me to ring if I needed anything.
Well, how can you do that without this?
I'm fine.
Come on, Dad, get in. You must be exhausted.
I do have plans of my own, you know?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Rory, basically it's very simple
we need you to speak in Gaelic
the way you speak in everyday life.
It's important that you don't try to speak
perfect textbook Gaelic
because we're really interested in your specific dialect.
of Hebridean Gaelic.
So, what do you want me to say?
Well, say anything, uh...
Pretend like you're on a date with a beautiful woman.
Well...
My name is Rory MacNeuil.
You have a nice smile.
It's the sweetest thing I've seen so far in his entire country.
I really like...
your breasts.
I'd like to lay my head there forever.
You'll find out I'm a devil in the sack
You can always count on me
to be true, and Diongmhalt.
Well, I did get the part about you loving the woman's breasts
and your being, uh...
a demon in bed?
A devil.
Yeah.
Diongmhalt. I had trouble understanding that in context.
Were you saying that people could always
count on you to be stubborn?
That's not what it means at all.
Diongmhalt is holding the line of battle
no matter what.
Ah, so it's more about commitment.
[HE SIGHS]
English have words for all kinds of shite
but they never have words for what really matters.
Diongmhalt is diongmhalt.
Diongmhalt!
Am I saying it right?
- Yes. - Diongmhalt.
This is great stuff.
[RORY]: Whit's fur ye will no go by ye.
Whit's fur ye'll...
Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye...
It mean, what's meant to happen to you, will happen.
Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye...
Oh, we'll have you talking like a real Scotswoman.
Hell, you should come to Vallasay.
- You'd fool them all. - Hm...
What would a woman like me do in a place like that?
I don't know, I...
I am such a city girl.
Oh, there's lots of fun things to do in Vallasay.
Oh, yeah? Like what?
Och, well...
I go for a swim
outside my house every morning.
Och, you should see the water.
So crisp and sparkling.
When I come out, I'm as alert as a tiger
nothing can get by me.
At night time, I go to the pub
and have a few pints and a laugh with my mates.
Well, it sounds pretty idyllic.
[SHE SIGHS]
What?
Nothing.
You know there's an ocean here too, Rory.
And San Francisco is a beautiful city
if you give it a chance.
Maybe I would...
if I had a beautiful woman like you to show me around.
- [BUTTON BEEPS] - [MECHANISM WHIRS]
[HE SNORES]
[JAMIE GURGLES]
- [FRIDA]: Si, senora? - On the diapers...
The fours are a little bit snug on him now
so you're gonna wanna pick up some of the fives.
- Si, senora. - Now is a good time
- to jumpstart... - You see?
[EMILY]: ...his language skills.
[RORY]: With a little practice, it works.
Right. But remember, no baby talk.
- Si, senora. - You want to keep it narrative.
Things like, "Oh, now I'm chopping vegetables
for the soup," or "Now I'm filling out my online
- registration form." - Si, senora.
Bag? Where is my bag?
- I'll get it. - Great.
Who's this? [HE GASPS IN MOCK SURPRISE]
- Who's this? - Jamie, honey.
Jamie, honey, Mummy has to go on a work trip
for just a couple days.
- OK? - [JAMIE GURGLES]
You gonna be good for Frida and good for Grandpa?
[JAMIE]: Si...
[SHE GASPS] He said, "Yes"!
Yes! You said, "Yes".
Oh, honey.
Oh...
I'm sorry I gotta go to work just as you're learning to talk.
You don't say another word till Mummy gets back, OK?
[SHE KISSES HIM] Gotta go now, I'm sorry.
I'll see you in a few days, Rory.
Keep going, mm...
Say "Seanair."
Seanair.
The day you say it, you'll give me life.
- Seanair. - [JAMIE BABBLES]
[BELLS TOLL]
[HE KNOCKS]
Rory!
I'm just finishing up, I'll be right down.
[FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYS]
You're from North Korea, huh?
I once asked my friend from North Korea what it was like.
He said, "I can't complain".
- [MUFFLED YELLS] - [CROWD LAUGHS]
- What's your name, sir? - Rory.
What's with the accent?
Are you a Scotsman?
Aye, and a proud one.
- [HE IMITATES BAGPIPES] - [CROWD LAUGHS]
Brief history of Scotland, pre-historic sheep, baa!
What about the kilts?
They won't hear the zippers when we sneak up on 'em!
- How'd I do? - Oh, not bad.
That's what I love about the Scottish people.
They're so drunk, they'll laugh at everything.
If I was drunk, I'd be coming up there and joining you.
So what brought you out from that rock
in the middle of the Atlantic to here?
[IN BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Are you here to steal our women?
Are you here to roger a few bonnie lasses?
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Stage four cancer.
[MUSIC FADES]
When did you know?
Uh, for a while.
Just...
after I met you.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I'd understand why you wouldn't
want to be with a dying man.
Well, that's not the point. I just wish you felt that you...
could be open with me.
But it's nothing to do with you.
Did you know that Jamie started talking?
[RORY CHUCKLES]
That's great.
He... he said "si".
That's Spanish for "yes".
Genius, eh?
I wouldn't know, I don't have children.
You know what, I... I'm not...
I'm not feeling up to this.
What do you mean?
I'm tired.
It has nothing to do with you.
Goodnight, Rory.
[IAN]: Because you can't make a statement with a steak!
It's just not what I'm about.
Hey, I'm just looking out for you here, buddy.
Right? I mean, that's what they brought me in to do.
You'll see the materials alone in this... what do you call it?
- Tasting the beach? - Walking the beach.
"Walking the beach", right.
I mean, that'd knock us over budget before we...
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just passing through.
I've seen how it works at White River.
And they're booked up a year in advance.
Ian, the thing is...
you don't have a cooking show on Bravo.
- Yet. - Being a chef is not just about
giving people what they think they want.
It's about opening their minds up to what they didn't even know
- they were longing for. - Ian.
I'm with you, right? We'll just keep dialoguing
till we work out the little kinks, yeah?
To the future.
Good. I'll send the contracts over to you tomorrow.
[DOOR SHUTS]
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Oh, mind your own business, Dad.
You might as well have a drink.
Oh, pour me one then.
[IAN SIGHS]
One drink a day...
...keeps the doctor away.
So, you haven't forgotten all your Gaelic.
Ah, I've heard it so many times I could say it in my sleep.
That...
is the closest thing to Vallasay round here.
[RORY CHUCKLES]
What do you think about my food, Dad?
Look, son... [HE SIGHS]
When I take a bite at something
I don't expect it to bite back.
- So you hate it then? - No, that's not what I said.
I'm a simple man and I have simple tastes.
Ah, well. You never really understood anything I did.
But at least I'm not a hypocrite like Emily's father.
Who spat it out
and kissed your arse afterwards.
Don't have a go at Frank
- just because he's... - Ian.
Believe me in this.
Life's too short to give a fuck
about what an old fool like me or a pompous ass like Frank
thinks about your food.
Do what you love while you can
before you've got one foot in the grave
and it's too late.
Dad...
Drink up, boy.
[RORY SNORES]
[JAMIE BABBLES]
[JAMIE BABBLES]
Brave lad, brave lad!
That's it! That's it!
Good boy.
You can do it. That's it.
Come on!
Oh!
- [JAMIE GIGGLES] - Oh!
Well done, eh? Now...
This'll be one of our secrets, yeah?
We will not tell a soul, OK?
- Yes. Yes. - [JAMIE BABBLES]
Good boy.
Ah, yes. Come on now.
Let's cuddle up.
[RORY SNORES]
Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad! Wake up! Look, look!
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm filming him.
Put that damn thing away!
Just look, with your eyes!
Come on.
[JAMIE GURGLES]
Oh, come here, fella!
Oh, look at you! You champion!
How did he get out of bed?
I don't know, I was asleep.
What, you slept here?
Well, I don't think any of us slept in our beds last night.
[HE CHUCKLES]
I see that you are responding very well to the treatments.
At this stage, the fact that you're still active
and having a regular day-to-day life is a small miracle.
You still haven't told me when.
[DOCTOR CHUCKLES] You just wanna beat the guy
with the liver problems, don't you?
- How's he getting along? - Oh, great.
Great, almost dead.
- [HE CHUCKLES] - But it's...
it's not really about that.
Um...
Do you have any grandchildren?
Oh, yes. Yeah, I do.
These two little rascals.
- [DOCTOR CHUCKLES] - I really...
really want to hear my grandson call me "Seanair".
Two months.
Maybe three.
That should be enough.
Does that work, usually?
Does what work?
Apologising...
with flowers.
Oh.
I wouldn't know. This is my first time.
Actually, when I think about it...
I don't believe I've apologised to a woman ever.
- At all. - [THEY SCOFF]
Look, Rory...
I like you, I do.
I don't think this is going to work.
I mean, maybe if we had met...
some other time, like 30 years ago
but I'm not really looking for a relationship now, and...
You're...
Dying.
I know.
I should have told you about the cancer, I'm sorry.
Well...
I've got...
three months at best.
But this is me, no camouflage
full of scars and wrinkles like your Roman pals.
Maybe it's too late for laughs, but...
I really want you to be in my life.
Whatever's left of it.
You don't have to answer right now.
So I shall...
put these stupid flowers here
and I'll...
- be on my way. - They're not stupid.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Now you know my secret.
- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
[IAN]: I'm just saying that
I know that you understand what I'm trying to do
but Jeff, it's as if he doesn't...
care who I am or about my vision.
Wait till you see what I got planned for Jamie's birthday.
Nothing but the best for that kid.
The same goes for you too, Ian.
Jeff Stradlow knows exactly what he's doing.
That's why I chose him.
Listen, Frank, I'm not questioning your judgement
I'm just saying that maybe we should find me a partner
who's inspired by what inspires me.
You know what? If I'm gonna invest in art
I'll buy a painting I can hang on the wall
and then resell for a fortune.
Not something that turns to shit
and gets flushed down the toilet the next day.
You really don't like my food, do you?
"Like."
What does that mean?
You know what I like?
Grace, tact...
dignity, is there a button for those?
The truth is, it hurts me, Ian.
It hurts me to see you playing yes-man
to some narcissistic TV chef forever.
Are you getting in?
I didn't say forever.
But maybe one day
some investor will come along who actually believes in me.
You know, I don't remember you being this picky
when it came to asking me to help get Jamie
into the best nursery school in the city next year.
Or that apartment I practically gift-wrapped for you.
You're right.
I wasn't picky.
But that doesn't mean I can't take a pass now.
You know what?
You should've stayed a chemist.
[ENGINE WHIRS]
- You're home. - I wanted to see you.
- Did Jamie say anything new yet? - No.
But he walked.
- No! - Just a few steps.
Did you get it on video?
Ah, he was crawling before I had the chance.
Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I promise you he'll walk again.
Come on.
Come on! Go on! Go on!
- You can do it, yeah! - Come on!
Come on, come to Mummy.
Come on, Jamie.
You bought him shoes?
Oh, no. Dad did.
You don't like them?
I do, they're lovely.
But they're not really supposed to be wearing shoes
at this age.
But it's fine, we'll just...
save them for a little bit later.
Come on, Jamie. Show Mummy how you walk.
[SHE SIGHS]
Ah, don't worry. I promise you he'll walk again.
[EMILY]: Oh, I know, it-it's OK.
You did so good, Mummy's so proud of you.
[RORY]: He'll walk again, alright.
Only you'll have to be around if you want to see it.
[SHE CRIES]
He thinks I'm a terrible mum.
You're a great mother, Em.
You're a great mum.
I don't even know what that means.
I'm completely just making it up as I go along.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
You know, when I was growing up, I only had my dad
and he worked day and night.
And now I'm doing the same thing.
You're doing the best you can.
We both are.
But are we happy?
See?
You're supposed to say yes to that.
I need to tell you something, Em.
What is it?
I quit White River today.
Good. I mean, now you have more time to work on the restaurant.
I'm not gonna be taking your dad's money.
- My dad already paid... - I've already told him.
You did?
You asked me if I'm happy.
I don't even know what makes me happy.
I just don't want to keep going through the motions.
[SHE SIGHS]
Yeah.
OK.
[RORY]: Oh, I remember another folk story.
A really, really old one.
[PROFESSOR]: The older the better, Rory.
The carpenter was handsome and strong,
and beloved by everyone on the island.
While the prick walked the earth with a cane,
and was despised by all.
Even his own liver rejected him...
[RORY CHUCKLES]
You've still got it, old man.
[EMILY]: Actually, he's just stepped in.
Rory, it's for you.
Hello?
Fraser?
So... he gave up, just like that.
Ah...
[PHONE BEEPS]
He's dead.
[HE KNOCKS]
Dad?
We're gonna have a bite to eat in a few minutes.
[RORY]: I'm not hungry.
Just come and sit with us.
Leave me alone.
[SHE SIGHS]
Should we check on him again?
I don't know. I give up.
I thought he'd be dancing in the streets.
[SHE SCOFFS]
[RORY MUTTERS]
To the deceased.
Jesus, Dad.
[GLASS CLINKS]
Drink up!
We should celebrate.
I'm not gonna drink. Give it a rest, he's dead.
So what?
You're on Campbell's side now?
I'm not on anyone's side, Dad.
Campbell's dead.
You've got no one left to pick on.
So don't make this about me.
There might be a day...
sometime very soon...
I won't be here any longer.
Do you understand me, my boy?
I need you.
If it wasn't for you...
I'd be long gone.
We loved the carpenter and the prick story, Rory.
Have any more of that?
They weren't real folk stories.
I was fooling the lot of yous.
We know that, Rory.
- We still like to hear them. - More proof you're fools.
How did you know that anyway?
For what it's worth...
we think your stories are great
and real.
As real as stories can be.
Och, you know nothing about what's real.
Or you wouldn't be listening to an old man jabber.
OK.
So tell us then.
What do you think is real?
The child.
Rory, wait up!
It's all here, all our sessions.
Keep it.
For future generations.
Cheers.
Yeah, you are, aren't you?
Yeah. There we go.
Ian?
- What? - Where's your dad?
[IAN]: Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Dad, what are you doing?
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
Little early for a wedding!
Shiver me timbers.
What can I serve you, captain?
Whiskey. The regular kind.
No fire, no smoke.
Just whiskey.
Sure, man, whatever you say.
[CROWD APPLAUDS AND CHEERS]
Oh, look, here's the birthday cake!
Wow...
Double.
[IN A COOING VOICE]: I've come here to spoil you.
- Wanna spoil you to death. - [JAMIE CRIES]
[JAMIE CRIES]
Aww...
Here, here, Frank.
- Let me take him. - Go to Grandpa.
Go to Grandpa, there we go, yes.
- That's alright. - Oh, hello there, Jamie boy.
I've got a wee surprise for you. Yes, yes.
Uh, Dad. Where are you taking him?
- Can I offer you a cocktail? - Oh, none for him.
He doesn't want anything I might've paid for.
Dad.
Thank you.
That's some family you've married into.
Yeah, I think so too.
Here, look.
Look, what's that?
Eh? See? See?
Now, shall we try and see if it floats?
Yes, let's see if it floats.
There we go, yes.
Look at that, that's for you.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
[RORY]: Isn't that grand?
Isn't that grand? Look at that.
Here we go. Big one coming in.
Big one coming in. There you go, there you go.
Oh...
[IAN]: Dad! Dad, what are you doing?
Oh, look! Here comes the party pooper!
Jesus Christ, Dad! Are you out of your goddamn mind?
The bairn's having the time of his life.
Get him out of there now!
Go back to your party, Ian.
Me and Jamie are doing just fine.
I said, get out!
Well, come and get him then.
I'm not playing around with you!
[RORY]: Oh! Look at your daddy!
[RORY LAUGHS]
Grow up!
These are not Jamie's people!
Ian, he doesn't belong here.
What's your plan? To take him back to Vallasay with you?
I'm not gonna make the same mistake with him...
I did with you.
Dad, you're dying.
There's so little time left
do we really have to keep fighting to the very end?
Can't we just let it go?
Just let it go, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Just let go.
Come on.
- [JAMIE WHIMPERS] - Oh, baby, oh...
Come here.
Now get out the water, you'll catch a cold.
[IAN]: Dad?
Is he even here?
Hold on, I'll go check his room.
[MEN ON STREET]: Whoa!
- Check out the wino, man! - Ah, fuck off!
Or I'll feed your rotten liver to the devil.
[MAN IMITATES RORY]: Fuck off or I'll feed your rotten liver
- to the devil! - Nasty, dude!
[THEY LAUGH]
[HE SNIFFS]
[MAN ON CD]: OK, Professor, we're rolling now.
[PROFESSOR]: And please try not to use proper textbook Gaelic.
Speak naturally.
[RORY]: Oh, don't worry, I don't know
any textbook Gaelic.
Ha. That's what you do here, is it?
Listen to stories for a living?
I've been working at the wrong job.
[RORY CHUCKLES]
My name is Rory MacNeil.
I'm 74 years old.
I was born in Vallasay on the Isle of Lewis
in the Northern Hebrides, Scotland.
MacNeils have lived in Vallasay for nearly 2,000 years.
[IAN SOBS]
[PROFESSOR]: Perfect.
Now tell us a story in Gaelic.
Um...
[RORY SPEAKS GAELIC ON CD]
[HE GRUNTS AND GASPS]
[SHE GASPS] Rory!
Oh, oh, hello.
- What happened? - Uh...
I... I think...
I have to lie down.
Come on.
- [RORY GRUNTS] - Let's get you upstairs.
- You're very sweet. - You're so wet.
You know, a sofa would have been fine.
Oh, don't be silly.
Let's get these damp pants off.
[RORY]: No, oh!
Now, let me warn you...
these are the height of fashion in Vallasay.
I swear.
I always wondered what you wear under the kilt.
A mystery.
Warm enough yet?
Getting there.
Would it be terrible...
if we just held one another?
I don't feel up to anything else.
Oh.
What I would give...
for you to see me back in the day.
- If I could only... - [THEY CHUCKLE]
Oh, this is...
This is everything.
We should have met years ago.
We met...
at just the right time.
But we don't have enough of it.
Some people don't even have this.
Not even when they're young.
Not even their whole lifetime.
I know that smile.
[HE CHUCKLES]
Rory?
Rory?
[SHE GASPS]
[SHE GASPS] Rory!
Oh, God, oh, God! OK.
[ANNOUNCEMENT]: Stateman, Dr Stateman, please.
[MONITOR BEEPS]
[DOCTOR]: Could you see if his labs are back yet?
[NURSE]: Sure.
You can see him now.
How's he doing?
Well, we're gonna keep him here overnight just to be safe
but he can go home in the morning.
There's not a lot we can do for him now, medically speaking.
Thank you, Doctor.
You have a visitor.
Do you need anything, Dad?
Could you lift me up a little?
Sure.
OK, come here, come here.
No, no, no, use the remote, idiot.
[THEY LAUGH]
How's that?
Ian...
take me home.
Doctor says I can take you home tomorrow.
No.
To our home.
To Vallasay.
We'll all go, Dad.
You wait till you see my museum.
Only mine is completely natural.
It's made of the sea and the stones.
You just stand there...
Look at it.
It takes your breath away.
[CLAUDIA]: Rory?
I don't know, I...
I don't think I'm going to come with you to Vallasay.
This is a time for you to be with Ian.
It's time for him now.
What about us?
Oh...
You have to have a pint with...
Fraser and Alice in the pub.
And you must dig for mussels by the sea.
And you have to come with me
to piss on a certain person's grave.
[SHE LAUGHS]
I love how you make me laugh.
Oh, it's alright.
It's alright.
You don't have to come.
[SHE SOBS]
Anyway...
you are Vallasay.
[BIRDS CHATTER]
Oh, look, Jamie, Jamie... [IAN CHUCKLES]
[CAMERA CLICKS] Oh, it's beautiful.
- [IAN]: Oh, my angel. - [EMILY]: Come on.
- [HE SIGHS] - [EMILY AND IAN CHATTER]
[IAN]: Dad.
Dad, come here. Come get in the picture.
What do you take me for, a bloody tourist?
- Come on, Dad! - And don't call me "Dad"!
I'm Seanair!
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Right, come here. Get in the middle.
- Come on. - OK.
- [RORY MUTTERS] - Right, come on!
Oh, I want a smile out of you.
- Look, Jamie... - Come on, Jamie.
- [CAMERA CLICKS] - There you go.
[THEY CHUCKLE]
Dad, you wanna come and show Jamie where we cut the mussels?
Why don't you do it?
- You sure? - It's about time you had this
don't you think?
I'll just safe-keep it for Jamie.
It's yours.
I hope you pass it on one day
but that's your decision to make.
"My little warrior"
I wasn't much of a warrior, was I?
Och! I gave you that too soon.
I couldn't wait to make a man of you.
The kind of man I was
I didn't have the patience
to see the kind of man you'd become.
Let's go.
[RORY SINGS IN GAELIC]
[RORY, VO]: I won't be here much longer to guide you
but keep your eye on the stars...
they'll show you the way.
The important thing is...
if you love someone
make sure to say it.
Don't think there'll ever be a better time
because there never is.
I could have made a lot of people happier...
[JAMIE GURGLES]
if only...
[FEET THUD]
[JAMIE BABBLES]
Seanair.
- Seanair. - Yes!
Oh...
[JAMIE]: Seanair.
Seanair.
[EMILY]: Look! This is where your seanair lived.
[JAMIE SHOUTS]
[IAN]: Jamie, come on!
[JAMIE CHUCKLES]
[IAN]: I'll race you to the house.
I'm winning, I'm winning!
- I'm winning! - [JAMIE LAUGHS]
[IAN]: Oh, you beat me again!
Every time...
[HE GRUNTS]
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYS]
- [CAMERA CLICKS] - [PEOPLE LAUGH]
[MAN]: Alright, ready?
- [CAMERA CLICKS] - [THEY LAUGH]
Hope they're not on your ferry out tomorrow morning.
I hear the whiskey in America tastes like water.
tastes like water.
Let's hope this drink finishes your liver off for good.
Oh, come off it, MacNeil.
Everyone knows, whatever you've got
it's bad.
When you get on that ferry tomorrow
we'll be seeing the back of you
- forever. - Don't you worry.
Christmas Eve, I'll be pissing on the flowers of your grave.
Drinks for everyone!
On me!
Tonight, we celebrate the demise of Rory MacNeil
who's going to die far, far away.
Like an old dog crawling into a dark hole
deep in the ground to die.
- Give it back. - Come and get it, cripple!
- [MUSIC STOPS] - [MAN]: Oh, not again.
We're not done, you and I.
Drop dead already Campbell.
Only after you...
Old man!
[SHEEP BLEAT]
[RORY SIGHS]
[HE GASPS]
[HE SIGHS]
[HE GRUNTS IN PAIN]
Fraser...
[CAR APPROACHES]
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
[FRASER]: I'll give you some for the journey.
After that, you need to see your doctor.
Well, that's why I have you.
[FRASER]: No, no, I'm cutting you off.
These pills are used to treat the horses.
I'm a vet, for Christ's sake.
Well, I'm an old horse
racing towards the finishing line.
It is a line you may not cross
unless you get on that flight and get some help.
Now, if you want to outlive Campbell, you will listen to me.
Oh, maybe I should just stick the old bastard with my knife
and then there'll be no need for me to fly to America.
Don't start that again.
I'm not going.
[PLANE ENGINE ROARS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAN]: Dad!
Dad! Hey!
[MAN]: Can we get you a taxi, sir?
Can I get you a taxi?
- Hm? - You speak English?
Can I get you a ride into the city?
- Aye. - Here, let me take that.
Right this way.
[AIR HOSTESSES CHAT AND GIGGLE]
Rory? Rory!
You.
Where are you going?
You never showed up.
Can you give my dad his suitcase please?
Is this your son, sir?
[IAN]: Let's go, I'm parked in the lot.
The bloody lights of the city outshine the stars.
What's that, Dad?
Nothing, just admiring your city.
Oh, made you something.
You remember how you used to love to ride those horses
down on Donovan's farm?
I do.
I mean, I did love that.
Maybe we can give it to Jamie?
- Who? - Jamie, our baby.
Oh, yes.
How is the wee lassie?
Jamie's a boy.
Of course.
So Emily and I were wondering what finally dragged you
off the island.
It was time to see you, I told you on the phone.
You can't smoke in here, Dad.
It's a smoke-free environment.
Smoke-free what?
Smoking'll kill you, Dad.
Or hasn't the memo reached Vallasay yet?
Life'll kill ya.
This is it.
I'd rather take the stairs, where are they?
- Back that way. - [ELEVATOR DINGS]
A man should always be able to walk into his own house.
We're on the 19th floor, Dad.
Never mind.
Em's dad knew someone on the condo board
otherwise... well, we'd never have been approved.
Approved?
Yeah, it's how you get into one of these places, Dad.
Well, let's just keep them guessing for another 24 hours.
- OK? Thank you, bye. - [HEADSET BEEPS]
[SHE SIGHS]
[QUIETLY]: Oh, we're so happy to finally have you here.
Why are you whispering?
Oh, I just put Jamie back to sleep.
He's such a light sleeper and uh...
I know you're probably dying to see him.
Is it OK if we do that tomorrow?
Oh, oh, well... aye.
Great, yeah, the tenth month is the most crucial
for developing, like, a really healthy sleeping pattern
- so... - [PHONE BEEPS]
Oh... I got that conference call in two minutes.
Oh, Ian, also, Frida just could not get the bed open.
- So... - That's fine, I'll do it.
Thank you.
Once again, really so, so happy you're here, Dad.
Why is she calling me "Dad"?
It's an American thing. Come on, let's get you sorted.
Emily's dad has boxes at the ball park.
You should come. It's cool.
Cool.
So, Emily...
she still works at the hospital?
Not anymore. She's got her own firm now.
Why?
You remember Doc Fraser?
Sure.
Well, he swore me to get a medical check-up
while I'm here.
- Is everything OK? - Oh, fine.
Fit as a fiddle.
Just a wee pain in the back, that's all.
Anyhow, anything to stop the old bugger
from getting his gallices in a fangle.
Keep him calm, you know.
Yeah, we can arrange that.
Oh, that'll be grand.
So, the bathroom's down the hall, and...
I'll see you in the morning.
Uh, Ian...
I'm glad to see you again.
[HE SIGHS]
[HE GRUNTS]
[HE GRUNTS AND SIGHS]
[SIRENS WAIL]
[BABY CRIES]
[HE SIGHS]
[BABY CRIES]
Maybe I should just take a peek.
- Make sure he's OK. - No, Ian.
Remember what the sleep consultant said?
No, I know, I know.
He has to feel the success of soothing himself back to sleep
but come on!
[BABY CRIES]
He didn't come here to see us.
- What? - Dad.
He doesn't give a crap about us.
Didn't even care if he saw Jamie.
You saw how he reacted.
I think he just didn't wanna wake him up.
I thought he was being very thoughtful.
Thoughtful? Where was he when Jamie was born?
He never even replied to any of the messages I sent him.
Let alone bought him a present or sent a card.
Well, why do you think he came then?
He wants to see a doctor.
Muck!
I haven't seen the man for 15 years and...
he comes here to couch-surf and scrounge a free medical.
Give him a little bit more credit, Ian.
I'm sure he didn't come all this way just to see a doctor.
[BABY CRIES]
Oh...
You've got a fine set of lungs on you, laddie.
I'll grant you that.
[CAR HORNS BEEP]
I was thinking, we don't even need plates
we just use the table as a canvas
and then watch everyone try to wrap their heads round
how to eat it, yeah.
[IAN GIGGLES]
Yeah. I know!
Alright.
Wait for me to try out the new centrifuge, will you?
Yeah, I'm on my way.
No breakfast?
[IAN]: This is breakfast.
You're off to the laboratory?
[IAN]: Kitchen.
I'm a sous-chef at White River.
- It's a restaurant. - Didn't you study chemistry?
I specialise in what's called molecular gastronomy, Dad.
How'd you sleep?
Oh, like your baby.
Sorry about that, we're sleep training him.
Emily not breast-feeding then?
- No. She wanted to. - Aye...
but she does have breasts?
- Dad! - [EMILY]: Good morning.
There you are, Dad. I hope you slept well.
Um, oh! I wanted to let you know I went ahead
and made an appointment for you with a doctor
and I scheduled that for tomorrow. Is that OK?
Oh, I see. Ian told you.
Ah, well, you know, it's nothing serious.
I think Jamie is starving.
[IAN]: I'm on it. I'm on it!
[EMILY]: Honey...
- [BABY GURGLES] - Oh, here we are.
[EMILY]: Hey, baby.
Good boy.
Look who came to see you.
Yeah, Grandpa came to see you. Yeah.
- Grandpa came to see you. - Alright, look. I've gotta go.
- OK... - Here you go.
[BABY GURGLES]
There we go.
- [PHONE RINGS] - Oh.
Do you wanna hold him?
While I grab that, I...
I'm late for that call, they keep bothering me.
- Oh. - There we go, see, look.
Yeah, oh.
- OK... - Oops! Hello?
No, around the other...
There you go. No, no, it's OK, baby.
No, not you. Hold on, I'm gonna put you on hold for a second.
- [BABY CRIES] - Alright, you'll be fine.
Frida!
Can you keep an extra close eye on him with Jamie?
- Great, thank you. - [RORY]: Here, here, here.
- [BABY CRIES] - It's OK, mi amor.
Come, come, my love.
Come, come.
It's your beard. He's scared.
- Oh. - [SHE COOS]
[BABY GURGLES]
Please, senor, not pick him up.
I wasn't going to.
Hi. Hi, my love!
Hi, my love.
Why shouldn't I pick him up?
After all, he is my grandson.
- He needs to work. - Babies don't work.
Emily says he's behind his cross-crawl.
He needs to practise.
- [TOY SQUEAKS] - Come!
He must learn how to be autonomous.
Och, nonsense!
- [TOY SQUEAKS] - [FRIDA]: Good job!
Emily did research.
[BABY GURGLES]
[RORY SIGHS]
[VACUUM CLEANER ROARS]
[BABY CRIES]
Och, come on, bairn.
Man up!
- Man up! - [BABY CRIES]
Oh, for fuck's sake!
[SIRENS WAIL]
- [TRAM BELL RINGS] - [HORN HONKS]
Only one way across enemy territory!
- [HE YELLS] - [HORNS HONK]
[MAN]: What are you doing?
[SHOP ASSISTANT]: There you go.
And how is your day today, sir?
Give me the bloodiest thing you've got.
Mm.
Mm.
You want some, hm?
Are you man enough? [RORY CHUCKLES]
Mm.
Ooh, yeah?
[HE BABBLES AND CHUCKLES]
Oh, he's a MacNeil alright!
[RORY LAUGHS]
[HE COUGHS]
[IAN]: Dad?
Dad, where have you been?
I was out two hours looking for you.
- You had us worried sick. - I took the boy for a stroll.
What? You can't just pick him up and leave, Dad.
We had no way of contacting you. You didn't even take any food.
I fed him. You think I'd starve my own grandson?
You're not hungry?
I thought Emily made it clear, they were not to be left alone.
Who's she to chaperone me?
I'm his grandfather.
You just wait until Emily gets back.
You better hope she doesn't send you on the next flight
back to Glasgow.
So she's the one wearing the pants around here.
If you've got something to say to me, say it in English.
How's about this for English?
Get the hell out of here while I have a piss!
You have no idea what he's been like.
Alright, well...
- let me handle it this time, OK? - Good luck with that.
God, he always shaves when he wants to impress a woman.
It's ridiculous.
All ready for my scolding now.
Why don't we have a seat?
So, did you...
- enjoy your afternoon with Jamie? - Och!
We had a ball.
[HE SIGHS]
Well, you had us all a bit...
- worried. - Ah.
But, I'd like to apologise.
You must be overwhelmed
exhausted, and uh...
we have not been as attentive as we should have been.
- Right, Ian? - [IAN]: What?
You're joking.
And I apologise for that and hope that you're not offended.
[IAN SCOFFS]
Not at all.
Apology accepted.
Good.
Also...
I have something for you
to help us communicate better.
Wow.
Yeah.
Actually, I've taken the liberty
of including you into Jamie's calendar.
Hm.
Great, that's...
all settled then.
I'm gonna go say goodnight to Jamie.
Uh, one thing I couldn't help notice...
the boy's got his own room.
Why doesn't he sleep with you like it's always been done?
Well, what we've learned
is that to develop a healthy attachment
babies need to learn
- to become... - Autonomous.
Right.
Autonomous.
[BABY CRIES]
I can't take it anymore.
- I'm going, I'm... - Ian, please, just...
let it go.
See?
By the book.
[BABY GURGLES]
Your seanair is here.
Do you know what seanair means?
Aye? That's Gaelic for Grandpa.
[IAN]: Emily worked really hard to get you in.
It's an excellent hospital, one of the best in the world.
Ah? Americans, aye, think they're the best.
That's why they need good hospitals.
For all the shite they eat
and all the filthy air they breathe.
Try not to say anything like that
at the gala this evening, will you?
It's the truth.
Truth or not, they don't like it when you say
what you really think about things here.
Hm, if I said what I really thought...
[RORY LAUGHS]
[INDISTINCT HOSPITAL ANNOUNCEMENT]
[MACHINE WHIRS]
[DOCTOR]: And we're done.
How bad is it?
Well, we need to check your...
scans and your samples, so it'll take a few days
but from what I've seen
you've got the heart of a 50-year-old.
[RORY LAUGHS]
I wish Campbell were here to hear that.
- Who's Campbell, your son? - No, worse.
[RORY LAUGHS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAN]: I couldn't believe it either!
It was the funniest thing that I've seen all year...
[GUESTS LAUGH]
Here we go. Cheers.
What can I get for you tonight, sir?
We've got an array of molecular specialities.
We've got "Love in the Asylum"
"Blood On The Tracks", "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes".
Just give me something that will burn my throat as it goes down.
OK.
[MAN AT BAR]: Decadence.
Interchangeability.
It bores me, to be honest.
All that mystery when I was growing up, just gone.
Nothing left to wonder at these days.
Is it like that where you're from too?
Where I come from...
a woman is a woman
and she doesn't need to prove it.
- [MAN CHUCKLES] - Here you go, sir.
Slàinte!
Same to you.
[HE LAUGHS]
What the hell is this?
"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"
it'll give you that burn you're looking for.
Smoke gets in my bollocks is more like it.
I had a feeling I'd like you.
- You did? - I did.
- Dad. - Hey, honey!
God, you look great.
Thank you. Are you being impossible?
No!
How did you two find each other here?
Process of elimination.
It's called a clan tartan or something, isn't it?
Oh, aye, these colours have been in the family
for, oh, well over 200 years.
It's beautiful. It's just what we need to spice up this event.
Good for you.
You know, you two should really try Ian's food.
It's really exciting.
Um, anyway.
Um, I will check on you two in a bit.
- OK. Knock 'em dead. - Thanks.
What we wouldn't do for them, eh, Rory?
Who?
Our children.
Oh, aye, aye, aye.
Probably, aye.
Are you ready to come up?
It never turns out exactly how I pictured it in my mind.
Hey.
Seriously.
I am so proud of you.
I mean, just look at everything.
It's just you and your vision.
Enjoy it, Ian.
Even your dad now knows what a brilliant chef you are.
My dad?
Is that what he said?
Why don't you come ask him yourself?
This stuff is celestial.
Oh!
And this from one of San Francisco's famous foodies!
I'm impressed.
[RORY]: Mm... oh!
That's surprising.
I thought it was an egg.
Well, that's molecular for you.
My son, he makes these?
Well, he does now. Watch and learn.
Oh, God, oh!
Are you OK?
Look who I managed to drag out of the kitchen.
Oh! Stunning job, Ian. We're all very, very impressed.
The tux pants not your size, Dad?
Oh, a man in a kilt is a man and a half, laddie.
And you should know that.
Listen, everybody, I would actually like to propose
a toast.
I just wanna say that
it's such a privilege to be standing here at this event
that was so tastefully and elegantly prepared
by my very own daughter.
- Dad, you don't have to... - No, honey.
Let me blow your horn for a minute, OK?
You're always plugging everybody else.
Your mum.
if she could see how you've grown up...
And to my son-in-law, Ian. I just want to say that, uh...
we're all flabbergasted at your...
bold and unexpected metamorphosis
from chemist to cook.
So, no more of that sous-chef bullshit.
From now on, Ian is going to be wearing the chef's hat
in his very own restaurant.
I made the first down payment this morning.
- You didn't! - I did!
Cheers.
I've set up a meeting for you with a guy named Jeff Stradlow.
He's the best there is.
He's gonna handle the business end of things.
All you have to do is walk in and do your thing.
[EMILY]: That is just so surprising.
I mean, we had no idea!
It's really exciting.
Oh, wow, yeah. I don't know what to say.
- No worries. - I think he means
to say thank you.
Of course, sorry. Thank you, thank you so much.
Come on. Here, give us a hug. Come on!
Come on! Partners.
Here we go, that's my boy.
Hey, Dad, next time you come
you'll be a guest at my own restaurant.
The best way to tame your horse...
is to shoot his balls off.
[FRANK]: What'd he just say?
I'm not sure, my Gaelic's a bit rusty.
I've gotta get back to the kitchen.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MAN]: Well, I saw something very similar in New York.
[WOMAN]: Is that where you're from?
It is, originally...
Oh!
Don't touch it please, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I never meant any harm...
Woah, please.
Terracotta is a very sensitive material.
It's a miracle they survived at all.
That smile, huh?
They look as if they're having a right ball, those two.
[WOMAN]: It's a burial tomb.
This is how the Etruscans pictured their dead.
- They don't look dead to me. - Why?
You can't die with a smile?
I don't think I've ever had a conversation with a man...
in a kilt, before.
Ah...
Doesn't go down big in San Francisco, I think.
No, it's... it's a great look.
So is yours.
Better than those ladies back there.
Huge fake tits to go with their huge fake smiles.
If you know what I mean.
Do you come here often?
I work here.
Well, maybe I'll come again.
- In the daytime. - You should.
We have guided tours.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Don't touch.
I won't.
[GUIDE]: This is one of the world's
three great natural harbours
right in the heart of downtown.
Over there, you can see Treasure Island.
It was a military base until 2008
when they finally started letting civilians...
[SPLASH]
[RORY SINGS IN GAELIC]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Are you Ian MacNeil?
- [IAN]: Yes. - Is this your father?
What did he do?
Armed robbery. [HE SCOFFS]
[OFFICER]: I understand he's not from around here
so I'm gonna let this one slide.
Be sure to tell your father
that we don't allow nude swimming in public spaces.
Thank you, officer. We appreciate that.
[OFFICER]: You have a good night.
Thank you, officer.
It was lovely to spend the evening with you.
Pleasure meeting you, sir.
A very nice man.
[BELLS TOLL]
[RORY GARGLES]
Telephone for you, senor.
For me?
[FRIDA]: Si.
Who could it be?
Who even knows I'm here...?
Hello?
Fraser, you old sod!
You don't say.
Frida!
Campbell.
Liver failure!
Oh, good news!
- [HE CHUCKLES] - [BABY GURGLES]
Oh, he's dying, he's dying, he's dying!
Yes, yes, yes! He's going to die first, laddie!
And then I'm going back to Vallasay
and you're gonna come with me.
You'll taste the liquor and the meat
of real men!
[RORY LAUGHS]
Mm.
Tonight, we celebrate.
Is that Mum's stew?
My stew.
Don't you remember? I always used to cook it up
on special occasions.
- It was you? - Aye.
Wow!
What's all this?
Dad's cooked a celebratory dinner.
Sit down...
and dig in.
It's hot.
See? He's coming around.
You should try it, it's Dad's recipe.
This is delicious.
Ah.
I know that knife.
It was supposed to be yours but you didn't want it.
It's not that I didn't want it. I was just too young.
[RORY]: Too feared.
Well, I'm old enough now.
This belongs to Jamie.
I'm gonna hold it till he's older.
That is delicious.
Then you'll love the blood sausage.
It's no black pudding, but it's the closest thing
- to... - Uh, don't bother.
Even I can't stand black pudding.
Oh, come on!
You used to love it when you
- were a bairn. - Dad, I don't like it...
Come on, come on. Come on, son!
Celebrate with me, hm?
I've never felt better in my life.
I reckon, no more doctors.
What are you talking about?
The old prick is gonna die first.
- Campbell? - Ha, ha!
Yes. Got the news this morning.
From Fraser.
So we owe this visit of yours...
- to Campbell? - Uh-huh.
Wait, who's Campbell?
What is it this time?
Which one of you kicks the bucket first?
Oh.
You'll never change, Dad.
Mum was right.
If it was up to you, nothing in this world would ever change.
Change? What for?
By the way, we're celebrating a dying man.
Well, I was hoping that we were...
celebrating your restaurant.
So did I.
Stupidly. But no, all of this...
this is for Alasdair Campbell who's now apparently dying.
- Hallelujah. - According to my dad
he's devoted his entire life to this very moment.
It was your dog he poisoned.
No one knows that for sure, Dad!
[SHE WHISPERS]: Shh! Jamie.
You wanna know something about my dad?
When we found my dog, Angus, dead in the yard
I wanted to bury the poor fellow like he deserved.
But no, you thought otherwise, didn't you?
No, you let him rot!
And then he carried his decayed carcass
and put it on Campbell's doorstep.
Why would you do that?
That's how it works in Vallasay, it's called a feud.
Don't blame me.
- I didn't start it. - Oh, of course not.
Nothing to do with you!
No say in the matter whatsoever!
You're just an innocent heir to a rivalry
which no MacNeil or Campbell has been able to settle
since 1764, when Muriall MacNeil
broke off her engagement to Lachlan Campbell!
Legend has it, Muriall got a sneak peak
under Campbell's kilt and didn't like what she saw.
So then the Campbells went and castrated
all of the MacNeil cattle.
Of course, the MacNeils couldn't let that go unpunished
could they? Etc, etc, etc...
Well, I'm glad you remember it after all these years.
He always had better things to do than to help his old dad.
All you ever did was take the piss out of me
- and call me "a little coward"! - [RORY]: Then!
Then, he upped sticks and left Vallasay.
Thought it was beneath him.
I didn't run away, Dad!
I got a scholarship to Berkley!
What was I supposed to do?
Spend my life playing your bloody games?
Little coward!
It wasn't the scholarship.
That wasn't why you left Vallasay.
You're right, Dad.
It wasn't Vallasay that I left.
It was you.
Aye. You did.
And now...
Now you're one of them. Spoilt rotten.
You teach your son to be autonomous!
[HE SCOFFS] But you're still a bairn
playing with your chemistry set.
And it's too late!
Too late to teach you how to be a man!
[DOOR SLAMS]
It's the blind leading the fucking blind around here
my boy.
To them...
the stars are invisible in San Francisco.
Lucky, you have me around
to guide you.
Oh, you've never seen a sky more beautiful
than the one in Vallasay.
The old prick is enjoying it right now
but he'll be gone soon enough
and then, my boy...
Then it'll be you and I
gazing at the stars together.
Generally speaking, you are in excellent condition
for your age, except of course...
what brings you here.
There is no easy way to say this.
Your PET and CT scans confirm
that you have stage four prostate cancer.
And how many stages are there?
Four.
The appropriate medical term is "metastasised" prostate cancer.
At this stage, chemotherapy is not recommended
- or effective... - [CHURCH BELL TOLLS]
And in these cases...
we prescribe oxycodone for the bone pain
as well as hormonal treatments.
We need to get shots once a week.
Now, sir, do you understand what I have just said?
How long do I have?
That is so hard to say
and I'm reluctant to give these kinds of estimations
since they tend to be a calculated guess
- at best... - Guess then.
I would rather not.
A week, months, a year?
- Less than a year? - Sir, please.
There are so many variables to factor, as I said
you are in excellent physical condition.
Why don't you just give me a bloody number?
- OK, um... thank you, Doctor. - No, wait.
I haven't finished yet.
Can I ask you a question?
Yes, yes, of course.
How long does it take to die from cirrhosis of the liver?
Someone my age had it about five years.
Can't walk without a cane.
Yellow in the face for the past few months.
They say he might have liver failure.
Sir, do you expect me to answer this seriously?
Hm. Just what I thought.
You're good for nothing.
- [RORY LAUGHS] - [BABY GURGLES]
[RORY]: There we go, oh, ah! Oh!
- [DOOR SLAMS] - What did you do?
What the hell are you talking about?
I got a message from Emily to come home immediately
so I had to leave service again.
It's like being in Groundhog Day.
Oh, it's not my fault that doctor's an idiot.
You went to the doctor again today?
Yeah, got cancer, stage four.
Eh, whatever the hell that means.
What did he say? W-what...
- exactly did he say? - He didn't say anything!
That hack couldn't make a clear sentence
if his life depended upon it.
But he used the word "cancer".
- Yeah. - Dad!
Oh, I'm fine, Ian.
Don't fuss over me.
We've got to have our super-fun time together.
Haven't we, Jamie? We've got plans!
Yeah, haven't we Jamie, boy? Eh? [RORY CHUCKLES]
Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Are you OK?
Will you watch where you're going?
Stop!
Stop!
Are you alright?
Jamie... Christ!
[HE BLUSTERS] Stupid, stupid, stupid old man!
Oh, my...
Oh, hey, hey, hey!
That's, that's my grandson.
- Oh, it's you! - Uh-huh!
Are you crazy, leaving a baby alone like this?
I lost my head, I got, I got...
I got pickpocketed like some pathetic tourist.
So you left your grandson to chase after your wallet?
You're lucky I'm the one that found him.
What would I have done? I-I...
I'm new to all this.
Oh look, I think he likes you, you know.
He's beginning to play.
- You can have him back now. - Uh-huh.
There we are. Oh, it's good to have you safe and sound, eh?
Safe and sound, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, you're leaving?
Yes, babysitting hours are up and I've got actual work to do.
But we've come all this way!
And you promised us a guided tour.
Uh... Claudia.
Uh, Rory MacNeil, by the way and this here is Jamie MacNeil.
Yes, well, guided tours are in the morning, sir
and, um, I'm not a guide.
Mm... come on, laddie.
I think we've got some actual work to do.
Hm?
Why do they make them so damn ugly?
Wait a minute, are you...
really interested, or are...
you just messing with me?
Course I'm interested.
Well, the Romans considered it a sign of character
not to camouflage your blemishes.
Your scars and your wrinkles
were your badge of experience.
You don't say.
Oh.
[HE GROANS]
Mr MacNeil?
Are you OK?
I think I'm having a wee turn.
- Shall we call the paramedics? - [MAN]: I dunno.
[CLAUDIA]: Are you feeling alright, Rory?
[MAN]: Are you OK, sir?
I'm still here, prick
- What? What? - I think he's speaking Gaelic.
Has this ever happened to you before?
What can I say?
I must have overdone it on the whiskey last night.
Ahem. Er, if you don't mind my asking...
was that Gaelic you were speaking?
Aye, what's it to you?
I've been taking part in a study over at the university
about endangered languages.
They would just love you over there.
And they would pay you, of course.
Don't need the money.
It's not really about the money.
It's for future generations.
I'll do it...
if you come.
What, are you asking me out on a date?
Oh, no, no, not at all. It's not a date.
Did you not hear the man?
It's for future generations.
Isn't that right, Jamie? Hm?
[JAMIE GURGLES]
[RORY CHUCKLES]
You don't know what it feels like yet...
to love a woman.
But some day, Jamie...
Some day.
- [JAMIE GURGLES] - [RORY CHUCKLES]
Och, it's not time to die!
You know?
When your stars are aligned in your favour.
Ah...
He was coughing.
I just popped in to check.
Yeah, me too.
Right.
Goodnight, then.
Goodnight, Dad.
[DOCTOR]: There might be some pain and nausea
during these days of treatments
so don't be afraid to let us know.
Afraid?
Of pain?
[RORY SCOFFS]
Oh, there's a lot you don't know about Scotsmen.
I suggest you go home now and take a good rest.
[IAN]: Dad?
Dad? Hey!
What're you doing here?
I thought I'd come and get you.
You asked me to ring if I needed anything.
Well, how can you do that without this?
I'm fine.
Come on, Dad, get in. You must be exhausted.
I do have plans of my own, you know?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Rory, basically it's very simple
we need you to speak in Gaelic
the way you speak in everyday life.
It's important that you don't try to speak
perfect textbook Gaelic
because we're really interested in your specific dialect.
of Hebridean Gaelic.
So, what do you want me to say?
Well, say anything, uh...
Pretend like you're on a date with a beautiful woman.
Well...
My name is Rory MacNeuil.
You have a nice smile.
It's the sweetest thing I've seen so far in his entire country.
I really like...
your breasts.
I'd like to lay my head there forever.
You'll find out I'm a devil in the sack
You can always count on me
to be true, and Diongmhalt.
Well, I did get the part about you loving the woman's breasts
and your being, uh...
a demon in bed?
A devil.
Yeah.
Diongmhalt. I had trouble understanding that in context.
Were you saying that people could always
count on you to be stubborn?
That's not what it means at all.
Diongmhalt is holding the line of battle
no matter what.
Ah, so it's more about commitment.
[HE SIGHS]
English have words for all kinds of shite
but they never have words for what really matters.
Diongmhalt is diongmhalt.
Diongmhalt!
Am I saying it right?
- Yes. - Diongmhalt.
This is great stuff.
[RORY]: Whit's fur ye will no go by ye.
Whit's fur ye'll...
Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye...
It mean, what's meant to happen to you, will happen.
Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye...
Oh, we'll have you talking like a real Scotswoman.
Hell, you should come to Vallasay.
- You'd fool them all. - Hm...
What would a woman like me do in a place like that?
I don't know, I...
I am such a city girl.
Oh, there's lots of fun things to do in Vallasay.
Oh, yeah? Like what?
Och, well...
I go for a swim
outside my house every morning.
Och, you should see the water.
So crisp and sparkling.
When I come out, I'm as alert as a tiger
nothing can get by me.
At night time, I go to the pub
and have a few pints and a laugh with my mates.
Well, it sounds pretty idyllic.
[SHE SIGHS]
What?
Nothing.
You know there's an ocean here too, Rory.
And San Francisco is a beautiful city
if you give it a chance.
Maybe I would...
if I had a beautiful woman like you to show me around.
- [BUTTON BEEPS] - [MECHANISM WHIRS]
[HE SNORES]
[JAMIE GURGLES]
- [FRIDA]: Si, senora? - On the diapers...
The fours are a little bit snug on him now
so you're gonna wanna pick up some of the fives.
- Si, senora. - Now is a good time
- to jumpstart... - You see?
[EMILY]: ...his language skills.
[RORY]: With a little practice, it works.
Right. But remember, no baby talk.
- Si, senora. - You want to keep it narrative.
Things like, "Oh, now I'm chopping vegetables
for the soup," or "Now I'm filling out my online
- registration form." - Si, senora.
Bag? Where is my bag?
- I'll get it. - Great.
Who's this? [HE GASPS IN MOCK SURPRISE]
- Who's this? - Jamie, honey.
Jamie, honey, Mummy has to go on a work trip
for just a couple days.
- OK? - [JAMIE GURGLES]
You gonna be good for Frida and good for Grandpa?
[JAMIE]: Si...
[SHE GASPS] He said, "Yes"!
Yes! You said, "Yes".
Oh, honey.
Oh...
I'm sorry I gotta go to work just as you're learning to talk.
You don't say another word till Mummy gets back, OK?
[SHE KISSES HIM] Gotta go now, I'm sorry.
I'll see you in a few days, Rory.
Keep going, mm...
Say "Seanair."
Seanair.
The day you say it, you'll give me life.
- Seanair. - [JAMIE BABBLES]
[BELLS TOLL]
[HE KNOCKS]
Rory!
I'm just finishing up, I'll be right down.
[FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYS]
You're from North Korea, huh?
I once asked my friend from North Korea what it was like.
He said, "I can't complain".
- [MUFFLED YELLS] - [CROWD LAUGHS]
- What's your name, sir? - Rory.
What's with the accent?
Are you a Scotsman?
Aye, and a proud one.
- [HE IMITATES BAGPIPES] - [CROWD LAUGHS]
Brief history of Scotland, pre-historic sheep, baa!
What about the kilts?
They won't hear the zippers when we sneak up on 'em!
- How'd I do? - Oh, not bad.
That's what I love about the Scottish people.
They're so drunk, they'll laugh at everything.
If I was drunk, I'd be coming up there and joining you.
So what brought you out from that rock
in the middle of the Atlantic to here?
[IN BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Are you here to steal our women?
Are you here to roger a few bonnie lasses?
[CROWD LAUGHS]
Stage four cancer.
[MUSIC FADES]
When did you know?
Uh, for a while.
Just...
after I met you.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I'd understand why you wouldn't
want to be with a dying man.
Well, that's not the point. I just wish you felt that you...
could be open with me.
But it's nothing to do with you.
Did you know that Jamie started talking?
[RORY CHUCKLES]
That's great.
He... he said "si".
That's Spanish for "yes".
Genius, eh?
I wouldn't know, I don't have children.
You know what, I... I'm not...
I'm not feeling up to this.
What do you mean?
I'm tired.
It has nothing to do with you.
Goodnight, Rory.
[IAN]: Because you can't make a statement with a steak!
It's just not what I'm about.
Hey, I'm just looking out for you here, buddy.
Right? I mean, that's what they brought me in to do.
You'll see the materials alone in this... what do you call it?
- Tasting the beach? - Walking the beach.
"Walking the beach", right.
I mean, that'd knock us over budget before we...
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just passing through.
I've seen how it works at White River.
And they're booked up a year in advance.
Ian, the thing is...
you don't have a cooking show on Bravo.
- Yet. - Being a chef is not just about
giving people what they think they want.
It's about opening their minds up to what they didn't even know
- they were longing for. - Ian.
I'm with you, right? We'll just keep dialoguing
till we work out the little kinks, yeah?
To the future.
Good. I'll send the contracts over to you tomorrow.
[DOOR SHUTS]
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Oh, mind your own business, Dad.
You might as well have a drink.
Oh, pour me one then.
[IAN SIGHS]
One drink a day...
...keeps the doctor away.
So, you haven't forgotten all your Gaelic.
Ah, I've heard it so many times I could say it in my sleep.
That...
is the closest thing to Vallasay round here.
[RORY CHUCKLES]
What do you think about my food, Dad?
Look, son... [HE SIGHS]
When I take a bite at something
I don't expect it to bite back.
- So you hate it then? - No, that's not what I said.
I'm a simple man and I have simple tastes.
Ah, well. You never really understood anything I did.
But at least I'm not a hypocrite like Emily's father.
Who spat it out
and kissed your arse afterwards.
Don't have a go at Frank
- just because he's... - Ian.
Believe me in this.
Life's too short to give a fuck
about what an old fool like me or a pompous ass like Frank
thinks about your food.
Do what you love while you can
before you've got one foot in the grave
and it's too late.
Dad...
Drink up, boy.
[RORY SNORES]
[JAMIE BABBLES]
[JAMIE BABBLES]
Brave lad, brave lad!
That's it! That's it!
Good boy.
You can do it. That's it.
Come on!
Oh!
- [JAMIE GIGGLES] - Oh!
Well done, eh? Now...
This'll be one of our secrets, yeah?
We will not tell a soul, OK?
- Yes. Yes. - [JAMIE BABBLES]
Good boy.
Ah, yes. Come on now.
Let's cuddle up.
[RORY SNORES]
Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad! Wake up! Look, look!
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm filming him.
Put that damn thing away!
Just look, with your eyes!
Come on.
[JAMIE GURGLES]
Oh, come here, fella!
Oh, look at you! You champion!
How did he get out of bed?
I don't know, I was asleep.
What, you slept here?
Well, I don't think any of us slept in our beds last night.
[HE CHUCKLES]
I see that you are responding very well to the treatments.
At this stage, the fact that you're still active
and having a regular day-to-day life is a small miracle.
You still haven't told me when.
[DOCTOR CHUCKLES] You just wanna beat the guy
with the liver problems, don't you?
- How's he getting along? - Oh, great.
Great, almost dead.
- [HE CHUCKLES] - But it's...
it's not really about that.
Um...
Do you have any grandchildren?
Oh, yes. Yeah, I do.
These two little rascals.
- [DOCTOR CHUCKLES] - I really...
really want to hear my grandson call me "Seanair".
Two months.
Maybe three.
That should be enough.
Does that work, usually?
Does what work?
Apologising...
with flowers.
Oh.
I wouldn't know. This is my first time.
Actually, when I think about it...
I don't believe I've apologised to a woman ever.
- At all. - [THEY SCOFF]
Look, Rory...
I like you, I do.
I don't think this is going to work.
I mean, maybe if we had met...
some other time, like 30 years ago
but I'm not really looking for a relationship now, and...
You're...
Dying.
I know.
I should have told you about the cancer, I'm sorry.
Well...
I've got...
three months at best.
But this is me, no camouflage
full of scars and wrinkles like your Roman pals.
Maybe it's too late for laughs, but...
I really want you to be in my life.
Whatever's left of it.
You don't have to answer right now.
So I shall...
put these stupid flowers here
and I'll...
- be on my way. - They're not stupid.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Now you know my secret.
- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
[IAN]: I'm just saying that
I know that you understand what I'm trying to do
but Jeff, it's as if he doesn't...
care who I am or about my vision.
Wait till you see what I got planned for Jamie's birthday.
Nothing but the best for that kid.
The same goes for you too, Ian.
Jeff Stradlow knows exactly what he's doing.
That's why I chose him.
Listen, Frank, I'm not questioning your judgement
I'm just saying that maybe we should find me a partner
who's inspired by what inspires me.
You know what? If I'm gonna invest in art
I'll buy a painting I can hang on the wall
and then resell for a fortune.
Not something that turns to shit
and gets flushed down the toilet the next day.
You really don't like my food, do you?
"Like."
What does that mean?
You know what I like?
Grace, tact...
dignity, is there a button for those?
The truth is, it hurts me, Ian.
It hurts me to see you playing yes-man
to some narcissistic TV chef forever.
Are you getting in?
I didn't say forever.
But maybe one day
some investor will come along who actually believes in me.
You know, I don't remember you being this picky
when it came to asking me to help get Jamie
into the best nursery school in the city next year.
Or that apartment I practically gift-wrapped for you.
You're right.
I wasn't picky.
But that doesn't mean I can't take a pass now.
You know what?
You should've stayed a chemist.
[ENGINE WHIRS]
- You're home. - I wanted to see you.
- Did Jamie say anything new yet? - No.
But he walked.
- No! - Just a few steps.
Did you get it on video?
Ah, he was crawling before I had the chance.
Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I promise you he'll walk again.
Come on.
Come on! Go on! Go on!
- You can do it, yeah! - Come on!
Come on, come to Mummy.
Come on, Jamie.
You bought him shoes?
Oh, no. Dad did.
You don't like them?
I do, they're lovely.
But they're not really supposed to be wearing shoes
at this age.
But it's fine, we'll just...
save them for a little bit later.
Come on, Jamie. Show Mummy how you walk.
[SHE SIGHS]
Ah, don't worry. I promise you he'll walk again.
[EMILY]: Oh, I know, it-it's OK.
You did so good, Mummy's so proud of you.
[RORY]: He'll walk again, alright.
Only you'll have to be around if you want to see it.
[SHE CRIES]
He thinks I'm a terrible mum.
You're a great mother, Em.
You're a great mum.
I don't even know what that means.
I'm completely just making it up as I go along.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
You know, when I was growing up, I only had my dad
and he worked day and night.
And now I'm doing the same thing.
You're doing the best you can.
We both are.
But are we happy?
See?
You're supposed to say yes to that.
I need to tell you something, Em.
What is it?
I quit White River today.
Good. I mean, now you have more time to work on the restaurant.
I'm not gonna be taking your dad's money.
- My dad already paid... - I've already told him.
You did?
You asked me if I'm happy.
I don't even know what makes me happy.
I just don't want to keep going through the motions.
[SHE SIGHS]
Yeah.
OK.
[RORY]: Oh, I remember another folk story.
A really, really old one.
[PROFESSOR]: The older the better, Rory.
The carpenter was handsome and strong,
and beloved by everyone on the island.
While the prick walked the earth with a cane,
and was despised by all.
Even his own liver rejected him...
[RORY CHUCKLES]
You've still got it, old man.
[EMILY]: Actually, he's just stepped in.
Rory, it's for you.
Hello?
Fraser?
So... he gave up, just like that.
Ah...
[PHONE BEEPS]
He's dead.
[HE KNOCKS]
Dad?
We're gonna have a bite to eat in a few minutes.
[RORY]: I'm not hungry.
Just come and sit with us.
Leave me alone.
[SHE SIGHS]
Should we check on him again?
I don't know. I give up.
I thought he'd be dancing in the streets.
[SHE SCOFFS]
[RORY MUTTERS]
To the deceased.
Jesus, Dad.
[GLASS CLINKS]
Drink up!
We should celebrate.
I'm not gonna drink. Give it a rest, he's dead.
So what?
You're on Campbell's side now?
I'm not on anyone's side, Dad.
Campbell's dead.
You've got no one left to pick on.
So don't make this about me.
There might be a day...
sometime very soon...
I won't be here any longer.
Do you understand me, my boy?
I need you.
If it wasn't for you...
I'd be long gone.
We loved the carpenter and the prick story, Rory.
Have any more of that?
They weren't real folk stories.
I was fooling the lot of yous.
We know that, Rory.
- We still like to hear them. - More proof you're fools.
How did you know that anyway?
For what it's worth...
we think your stories are great
and real.
As real as stories can be.
Och, you know nothing about what's real.
Or you wouldn't be listening to an old man jabber.
OK.
So tell us then.
What do you think is real?
The child.
Rory, wait up!
It's all here, all our sessions.
Keep it.
For future generations.
Cheers.
Yeah, you are, aren't you?
Yeah. There we go.
Ian?
- What? - Where's your dad?
[IAN]: Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Dad, what are you doing?
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
Little early for a wedding!
Shiver me timbers.
What can I serve you, captain?
Whiskey. The regular kind.
No fire, no smoke.
Just whiskey.
Sure, man, whatever you say.
[CROWD APPLAUDS AND CHEERS]
Oh, look, here's the birthday cake!
Wow...
Double.
[IN A COOING VOICE]: I've come here to spoil you.
- Wanna spoil you to death. - [JAMIE CRIES]
[JAMIE CRIES]
Aww...
Here, here, Frank.
- Let me take him. - Go to Grandpa.
Go to Grandpa, there we go, yes.
- That's alright. - Oh, hello there, Jamie boy.
I've got a wee surprise for you. Yes, yes.
Uh, Dad. Where are you taking him?
- Can I offer you a cocktail? - Oh, none for him.
He doesn't want anything I might've paid for.
Dad.
Thank you.
That's some family you've married into.
Yeah, I think so too.
Here, look.
Look, what's that?
Eh? See? See?
Now, shall we try and see if it floats?
Yes, let's see if it floats.
There we go, yes.
Look at that, that's for you.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
[RORY]: Isn't that grand?
Isn't that grand? Look at that.
Here we go. Big one coming in.
Big one coming in. There you go, there you go.
Oh...
[IAN]: Dad! Dad, what are you doing?
Oh, look! Here comes the party pooper!
Jesus Christ, Dad! Are you out of your goddamn mind?
The bairn's having the time of his life.
Get him out of there now!
Go back to your party, Ian.
Me and Jamie are doing just fine.
I said, get out!
Well, come and get him then.
I'm not playing around with you!
[RORY]: Oh! Look at your daddy!
[RORY LAUGHS]
Grow up!
These are not Jamie's people!
Ian, he doesn't belong here.
What's your plan? To take him back to Vallasay with you?
I'm not gonna make the same mistake with him...
I did with you.
Dad, you're dying.
There's so little time left
do we really have to keep fighting to the very end?
Can't we just let it go?
Just let it go, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Just let go.
Come on.
- [JAMIE WHIMPERS] - Oh, baby, oh...
Come here.
Now get out the water, you'll catch a cold.
[IAN]: Dad?
Is he even here?
Hold on, I'll go check his room.
[MEN ON STREET]: Whoa!
- Check out the wino, man! - Ah, fuck off!
Or I'll feed your rotten liver to the devil.
[MAN IMITATES RORY]: Fuck off or I'll feed your rotten liver
- to the devil! - Nasty, dude!
[THEY LAUGH]
[HE SNIFFS]
[MAN ON CD]: OK, Professor, we're rolling now.
[PROFESSOR]: And please try not to use proper textbook Gaelic.
Speak naturally.
[RORY]: Oh, don't worry, I don't know
any textbook Gaelic.
Ha. That's what you do here, is it?
Listen to stories for a living?
I've been working at the wrong job.
[RORY CHUCKLES]
My name is Rory MacNeil.
I'm 74 years old.
I was born in Vallasay on the Isle of Lewis
in the Northern Hebrides, Scotland.
MacNeils have lived in Vallasay for nearly 2,000 years.
[IAN SOBS]
[PROFESSOR]: Perfect.
Now tell us a story in Gaelic.
Um...
[RORY SPEAKS GAELIC ON CD]
[HE GRUNTS AND GASPS]
[SHE GASPS] Rory!
Oh, oh, hello.
- What happened? - Uh...
I... I think...
I have to lie down.
Come on.
- [RORY GRUNTS] - Let's get you upstairs.
- You're very sweet. - You're so wet.
You know, a sofa would have been fine.
Oh, don't be silly.
Let's get these damp pants off.
[RORY]: No, oh!
Now, let me warn you...
these are the height of fashion in Vallasay.
I swear.
I always wondered what you wear under the kilt.
A mystery.
Warm enough yet?
Getting there.
Would it be terrible...
if we just held one another?
I don't feel up to anything else.
Oh.
What I would give...
for you to see me back in the day.
- If I could only... - [THEY CHUCKLE]
Oh, this is...
This is everything.
We should have met years ago.
We met...
at just the right time.
But we don't have enough of it.
Some people don't even have this.
Not even when they're young.
Not even their whole lifetime.
I know that smile.
[HE CHUCKLES]
Rory?
Rory?
[SHE GASPS]
[SHE GASPS] Rory!
Oh, God, oh, God! OK.
[ANNOUNCEMENT]: Stateman, Dr Stateman, please.
[MONITOR BEEPS]
[DOCTOR]: Could you see if his labs are back yet?
[NURSE]: Sure.
You can see him now.
How's he doing?
Well, we're gonna keep him here overnight just to be safe
but he can go home in the morning.
There's not a lot we can do for him now, medically speaking.
Thank you, Doctor.
You have a visitor.
Do you need anything, Dad?
Could you lift me up a little?
Sure.
OK, come here, come here.
No, no, no, use the remote, idiot.
[THEY LAUGH]
How's that?
Ian...
take me home.
Doctor says I can take you home tomorrow.
No.
To our home.
To Vallasay.
We'll all go, Dad.
You wait till you see my museum.
Only mine is completely natural.
It's made of the sea and the stones.
You just stand there...
Look at it.
It takes your breath away.
[CLAUDIA]: Rory?
I don't know, I...
I don't think I'm going to come with you to Vallasay.
This is a time for you to be with Ian.
It's time for him now.
What about us?
Oh...
You have to have a pint with...
Fraser and Alice in the pub.
And you must dig for mussels by the sea.
And you have to come with me
to piss on a certain person's grave.
[SHE LAUGHS]
I love how you make me laugh.
Oh, it's alright.
It's alright.
You don't have to come.
[SHE SOBS]
Anyway...
you are Vallasay.
[BIRDS CHATTER]
Oh, look, Jamie, Jamie... [IAN CHUCKLES]
[CAMERA CLICKS] Oh, it's beautiful.
- [IAN]: Oh, my angel. - [EMILY]: Come on.
- [HE SIGHS] - [EMILY AND IAN CHATTER]
[IAN]: Dad.
Dad, come here. Come get in the picture.
What do you take me for, a bloody tourist?
- Come on, Dad! - And don't call me "Dad"!
I'm Seanair!
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Right, come here. Get in the middle.
- Come on. - OK.
- [RORY MUTTERS] - Right, come on!
Oh, I want a smile out of you.
- Look, Jamie... - Come on, Jamie.
- [CAMERA CLICKS] - There you go.
[THEY CHUCKLE]
Dad, you wanna come and show Jamie where we cut the mussels?
Why don't you do it?
- You sure? - It's about time you had this
don't you think?
I'll just safe-keep it for Jamie.
It's yours.
I hope you pass it on one day
but that's your decision to make.
"My little warrior"
I wasn't much of a warrior, was I?
Och! I gave you that too soon.
I couldn't wait to make a man of you.
The kind of man I was
I didn't have the patience
to see the kind of man you'd become.
Let's go.
[RORY SINGS IN GAELIC]
[RORY, VO]: I won't be here much longer to guide you
but keep your eye on the stars...
they'll show you the way.
The important thing is...
if you love someone
make sure to say it.
Don't think there'll ever be a better time
because there never is.
I could have made a lot of people happier...
[JAMIE GURGLES]
if only...
[FEET THUD]
[JAMIE BABBLES]
Seanair.
- Seanair. - Yes!
Oh...
[JAMIE]: Seanair.
Seanair.
[EMILY]: Look! This is where your seanair lived.
[JAMIE SHOUTS]
[IAN]: Jamie, come on!
[JAMIE CHUCKLES]
[IAN]: I'll race you to the house.
I'm winning, I'm winning!
- I'm winning! - [JAMIE LAUGHS]
[IAN]: Oh, you beat me again!
Every time...