The Escape Artist (1982) - full transcript
The young and self-confident Danny blufs at the local police-station that he will escape out of prison within one hour. What follows is a flashback about his childhood with his uncle and aunt, which are 'vaudeville'-artists themselves. We also follow the problems of Danny with the corrupt son of the mayor.
( car passes )
(light music box theme
playing)
( chattering )
Well, I'’’d-- I'’’d like
to tell him myself.
and I'’’ll set myself free
within an hour.
since before the days
of flagpole sitters.
MAN 1:
Okay. Let me see the soles
of your feet.
Scully, use my cuffs, huh?
Thank you.
( rattling )
FRITZ:
Open your mouth.
( chuckles ):
Never.
And double-cuff him too.
( camera clicks )
where I escape
from my grandmother'’’s.
( cars passing )
( clock ticking )
All I need is a chance.
(gentle theme playing)
( whistle blows )
(exciting,
jazzy theme playing)
(saxophone joins in)
(saxophone playing
melancholy theme)
Ladies and gentlemen.
( Burke talking indistinctly )
Sibyl.
What is it?
That is correct.
s.
First cousin
s.
BURK
E: Ye
( audience gasping
and applauding )
.
Now, come on,
let'’’s get outta here
and I frankly don'’’t feel
too related to him.
( clears throat )
.
BURKE:
I am sick of tho
se pick-a-card tricks
six cards.
...and three of them are red.
Oh, that'’’s oil and water
. Everybody does that trick.
It'’’s a lot harder
with eight cards.
doesn'’’t mean
you got it made, kid.
Not for long anyway.
The old card-in-the-wallet
trick.
( Sibyl laughs )
( teakettle whistling )
( Burke and Sibyl
whispering indistinctly )
( water dripping )
(ominous theme playing)
( pans clattering )
( door buzzes )
( door buzzes )
Something for you?
For your friends?
Mister, we'’’ve got everything.
from pulling them
out of hats?
Ask a turkey
on Thanksgiving.
Stu, somebody'’’s al
ways saying stop.
STU:
I'’’m feeling perfectly
fine and friendly.
.
I apologize for my remarks
All right.
(gentle theme playing)
Nice to see you, Dad.
Nice seeing you.
w.
Nothing that anybo
dy would want to use no
Could I have a milk, Charlie,
and eggs over easy?
I think I can handle that.
Well, maybe you can.
.
No way
( piano playing )
Where'’’s the wallet, kid?
and I don'’’t wanna
shock the neighbors.
( sighs )
Hey, you remember the time--?
Hey, Vernon.
You think we'’’re rehearsi
ng a play here? Huh?
What the hell do you think
you'’’re doing?
So what do I see?
( knocking )
Come in.
e.
STU:
This is the last tim
( music box plays )
I am taking care of myself.
(gentle theme playing)
( doorknob rattling )
( lock pops )
(ominous theme playing)
Hey, kid!
e!
Come her
(romantic theme playing)
( knocking )
Come here, I wanna
show you something.
No. But here we are.
( gasps )
Oh, my-- Wow.
and that'’’s Aunt Sibyl
on that side.
Danny.
I guess they were afraid
I might follow in his footsteps.
Hey, do I get to say,
"Ladies and gentlemen"?
Yeah, but not yet.
You know, escape is only good
when it looks dangerous.
Now?
(suspenseful theme playing)
It'’’s Danny.
(ominous theme playing)
( muffled groaning )
It really looks dangerous.
e?
What the hell'
’’s going on her
.
Oh, my God
Come on, Danny. Danny!
( Danny coughing )
BURKE: What are you doing?
be a real family.
What do you say?
.
It made people mad
ny.
You could die, Dan
and he died.
.
Oh
en.
I promise you I'’’ll try
not to see what'’’s gonna happ
.
Yeah, he'’’s in the restaurant
DANNY:
Half of nothing.
Come back here, sonny.
Hey, sonny!
Oh, sh-- Oh.
( light lounge music playing )
I told you the truth.
Vernon!
Aren'’’t you ashamed of yourself
making my friend look bad?
t.
Righ
( cracks lobster open )
Stu, what happened to the rest
of the honored guests?
You know, business, the heat.
What'’’s this stuff?
You wouldn'’’t believe
me if I told you.
ah.
Ye
( gasps )
( sighs )
Go warm it up for me.
( lock clicks open )
( mouths ):
Wow.
a locked desk
and a war-surplus safe.
just in case somebody tries
to crawl up the drainpipe.
Open it.
Thank you.
For God'’’s sakes, I can'’’t ope
that fast with a key.
ARLENE:
Ap￩ritif?
What?
Can I clear the room, you know,
for, like, two minutes?
(gentle themeplaying)
Huh. I see.
Smells like voters in here.
m!
Aw... Oh, Sa
So get outta here.
y.
It'’’s back to the nuthouse, bab
and it keeps people worried
because it looks like a bank.
We'’’re expected.
By appointment only.
in the elevator?
Okay.
Thank you.
You'’’re welcome.
( inhales deeply )
The safe.
For God'’’s sake.
Sam needs a hearing aid.
Come over here, sonny,
will you?
I wanna talk to you.
Come.
You see, the way I--
You know, sometimes
you remind me of a little boy.
ls?
at regular interva
( screams )
And give the party machinery
a nice long rest!
That is the last straw.
Oh.
QUINONES ( panting ):
Now, you listen to me, Stuart.
until you remember
what you did with it, huh?
Out!
AL:
Shut up.
I said, shut up.
You give me any troubl
e--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And if he can'’’t,
he makes it seem like he can.
z.
The deal is,
he'’’s totally alone, Frit
One hour.
Clothes are across the hall.
Good luck.
z.
No, Frit
FRITZ:
Come out here now.
Take a good look.
( continues indistinctly )
you better start talking.
.
on the virtues of bragging
Think about hundre
d dollar bills.
( door closes )
( talking indistinctly )
( door opens,
guards chattering )
( mouths ):
Come on.
Come on, I got reporters
coming back in a few minutes.
Shh.
( guards chattering )
Okay, come on.
rs.
It'’’ll be in all the pape
Boy, are they gonna be surprised
to find you in here.
( rattling )
( man talking indistinctly )
(gentle theme playing)
( talking indistinctly )
( alarm ringing )
(music swells)
(music softens,
with music box effect)
(magical chord plays)
( phone ringing )
(music ends)
.
Got your key
s?
Yeah, let'’’s get this over with
Do whatever you have to
do to find it.
ow.
Good night.
See you tomorr
( sirens wailing in distance )
( thunder rumbles )
( faint clicks )
( thunder rumbling )
( creaks )
( door creaks closed )
( car honks overhead )
( car honks )
( continues indistinctly )
y.
Good night, everybod
Yes.
( door opens )
Wake up.
( sighs )
.
Uh-huh
( laughs )
t.
Look what your Dad
did to your apartmen
I looked.
What'’’s a couple of shiners
between friends?
I figure you owe me 80 buc
ks, whatever time it is.
Bad, bad manners.
It was just a game.
I didn'’’t wanna turn him in.
(energetic chase theme
playing)
( grunts )
)
( knife clanging
( dog barking )
( grunts )
( drumming )
( siren wailing )
And you did do some of
the things that I asked you to.
Potentially,
you'’’re a phenomenon.
Yeah, I sure did,
didn'’’t I?
Here.
Here'’’s the money I owe you.
Now, come on out
and get a bonus.
STU:
You'’’re a federal offense
if I ever...
How is my old man
ever gonna forgive me now?
Ouch.
To my mother.
Come on.
( door slams )
( car drives away )
(soft flute theme playing)
( yawns )
(magical chord plays)
(theme swells)
(light music box theme
playing)
( chattering )
Well, I'’’d-- I'’’d like
to tell him myself.
and I'’’ll set myself free
within an hour.
since before the days
of flagpole sitters.
MAN 1:
Okay. Let me see the soles
of your feet.
Scully, use my cuffs, huh?
Thank you.
( rattling )
FRITZ:
Open your mouth.
( chuckles ):
Never.
And double-cuff him too.
( camera clicks )
where I escape
from my grandmother'’’s.
( cars passing )
( clock ticking )
All I need is a chance.
(gentle theme playing)
( whistle blows )
(exciting,
jazzy theme playing)
(saxophone joins in)
(saxophone playing
melancholy theme)
Ladies and gentlemen.
( Burke talking indistinctly )
Sibyl.
What is it?
That is correct.
s.
First cousin
s.
BURK
E: Ye
( audience gasping
and applauding )
.
Now, come on,
let'’’s get outta here
and I frankly don'’’t feel
too related to him.
( clears throat )
.
BURKE:
I am sick of tho
se pick-a-card tricks
six cards.
...and three of them are red.
Oh, that'’’s oil and water
. Everybody does that trick.
It'’’s a lot harder
with eight cards.
doesn'’’t mean
you got it made, kid.
Not for long anyway.
The old card-in-the-wallet
trick.
( Sibyl laughs )
( teakettle whistling )
( Burke and Sibyl
whispering indistinctly )
( water dripping )
(ominous theme playing)
( pans clattering )
( door buzzes )
( door buzzes )
Something for you?
For your friends?
Mister, we'’’ve got everything.
from pulling them
out of hats?
Ask a turkey
on Thanksgiving.
Stu, somebody'’’s al
ways saying stop.
STU:
I'’’m feeling perfectly
fine and friendly.
.
I apologize for my remarks
All right.
(gentle theme playing)
Nice to see you, Dad.
Nice seeing you.
w.
Nothing that anybo
dy would want to use no
Could I have a milk, Charlie,
and eggs over easy?
I think I can handle that.
Well, maybe you can.
.
No way
( piano playing )
Where'’’s the wallet, kid?
and I don'’’t wanna
shock the neighbors.
( sighs )
Hey, you remember the time--?
Hey, Vernon.
You think we'’’re rehearsi
ng a play here? Huh?
What the hell do you think
you'’’re doing?
So what do I see?
( knocking )
Come in.
e.
STU:
This is the last tim
( music box plays )
I am taking care of myself.
(gentle theme playing)
( doorknob rattling )
( lock pops )
(ominous theme playing)
Hey, kid!
e!
Come her
(romantic theme playing)
( knocking )
Come here, I wanna
show you something.
No. But here we are.
( gasps )
Oh, my-- Wow.
and that'’’s Aunt Sibyl
on that side.
Danny.
I guess they were afraid
I might follow in his footsteps.
Hey, do I get to say,
"Ladies and gentlemen"?
Yeah, but not yet.
You know, escape is only good
when it looks dangerous.
Now?
(suspenseful theme playing)
It'’’s Danny.
(ominous theme playing)
( muffled groaning )
It really looks dangerous.
e?
What the hell'
’’s going on her
.
Oh, my God
Come on, Danny. Danny!
( Danny coughing )
BURKE: What are you doing?
be a real family.
What do you say?
.
It made people mad
ny.
You could die, Dan
and he died.
.
Oh
en.
I promise you I'’’ll try
not to see what'’’s gonna happ
.
Yeah, he'’’s in the restaurant
DANNY:
Half of nothing.
Come back here, sonny.
Hey, sonny!
Oh, sh-- Oh.
( light lounge music playing )
I told you the truth.
Vernon!
Aren'’’t you ashamed of yourself
making my friend look bad?
t.
Righ
( cracks lobster open )
Stu, what happened to the rest
of the honored guests?
You know, business, the heat.
What'’’s this stuff?
You wouldn'’’t believe
me if I told you.
ah.
Ye
( gasps )
( sighs )
Go warm it up for me.
( lock clicks open )
( mouths ):
Wow.
a locked desk
and a war-surplus safe.
just in case somebody tries
to crawl up the drainpipe.
Open it.
Thank you.
For God'’’s sakes, I can'’’t ope
that fast with a key.
ARLENE:
Ap￩ritif?
What?
Can I clear the room, you know,
for, like, two minutes?
(gentle themeplaying)
Huh. I see.
Smells like voters in here.
m!
Aw... Oh, Sa
So get outta here.
y.
It'’’s back to the nuthouse, bab
and it keeps people worried
because it looks like a bank.
We'’’re expected.
By appointment only.
in the elevator?
Okay.
Thank you.
You'’’re welcome.
( inhales deeply )
The safe.
For God'’’s sake.
Sam needs a hearing aid.
Come over here, sonny,
will you?
I wanna talk to you.
Come.
You see, the way I--
You know, sometimes
you remind me of a little boy.
ls?
at regular interva
( screams )
And give the party machinery
a nice long rest!
That is the last straw.
Oh.
QUINONES ( panting ):
Now, you listen to me, Stuart.
until you remember
what you did with it, huh?
Out!
AL:
Shut up.
I said, shut up.
You give me any troubl
e--
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And if he can'’’t,
he makes it seem like he can.
z.
The deal is,
he'’’s totally alone, Frit
One hour.
Clothes are across the hall.
Good luck.
z.
No, Frit
FRITZ:
Come out here now.
Take a good look.
( continues indistinctly )
you better start talking.
.
on the virtues of bragging
Think about hundre
d dollar bills.
( door closes )
( talking indistinctly )
( door opens,
guards chattering )
( mouths ):
Come on.
Come on, I got reporters
coming back in a few minutes.
Shh.
( guards chattering )
Okay, come on.
rs.
It'’’ll be in all the pape
Boy, are they gonna be surprised
to find you in here.
( rattling )
( man talking indistinctly )
(gentle theme playing)
( talking indistinctly )
( alarm ringing )
(music swells)
(music softens,
with music box effect)
(magical chord plays)
( phone ringing )
(music ends)
.
Got your key
s?
Yeah, let'’’s get this over with
Do whatever you have to
do to find it.
ow.
Good night.
See you tomorr
( sirens wailing in distance )
( thunder rumbles )
( faint clicks )
( thunder rumbling )
( creaks )
( door creaks closed )
( car honks overhead )
( car honks )
( continues indistinctly )
y.
Good night, everybod
Yes.
( door opens )
Wake up.
( sighs )
.
Uh-huh
( laughs )
t.
Look what your Dad
did to your apartmen
I looked.
What'’’s a couple of shiners
between friends?
I figure you owe me 80 buc
ks, whatever time it is.
Bad, bad manners.
It was just a game.
I didn'’’t wanna turn him in.
(energetic chase theme
playing)
( grunts )
)
( knife clanging
( dog barking )
( grunts )
( drumming )
( siren wailing )
And you did do some of
the things that I asked you to.
Potentially,
you'’’re a phenomenon.
Yeah, I sure did,
didn'’’t I?
Here.
Here'’’s the money I owe you.
Now, come on out
and get a bonus.
STU:
You'’’re a federal offense
if I ever...
How is my old man
ever gonna forgive me now?
Ouch.
To my mother.
Come on.
( door slams )
( car drives away )
(soft flute theme playing)
( yawns )
(magical chord plays)
(theme swells)