The Ernie Game (1967) - full transcript

(children chatter)

(water running)

If it weren't for these pimples,

I'd be really handsome.

(man sighs)

(knock at door)

Mr. Turner, I need my rent money.

[Ernie] I don't have
any money right now.

It's rent day. You
owe me two weeks rent.

Well, I'm getting some soon.

Look, this is the way I
make my living. I rent rooms.



But I don't have any
money right now.

I'm sorry, I don't have
anything against you personally,

but I just have to have
the money today.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Okay.

(upbeat music)

(dog barks)

(woman speaks French)

She's watching me from the window.

She probably thinks I'm interesting.

Well, maybe I am.

(upbeat music)

Where do you come from?

A small town in Ontario.



Oh, yeah? Why'd you come here?

I got a good job, so I moved on.

Well, what is that job?

I'm a copywriter.

Oh, that's good. I'm a writer too.

- What do you write about?
- Girls.

Oh. (Woman laughs)

I love the way you walk.

Thank you.

What are you doing now?

I have the rest of the
afternoon off.

- Feel like walking?
- Sure.

All right.

Are you an alcoholic?

No, why?

The way you walk, it's so slow.

You wear a hat well though.

Thank you.

- What's that?
- My lunch.

What are you carrying your...

...right across the road, you
can come and go and have a drink.

I don't want a drink. I
told you, I'm not an alcoholic.

What are you carrying
that thing around for?

- Well, that's where I keep it.
- That's its proper place.

You're pretty silly (indistinct).

No, I don't want it.

(pleasant music)

(Ernie knocks)

Hi.

Well?

I didn't expect to
see you so soon.

I said I'd see you some time.

Can I?

I have to go to work.

But come in.

You and I are gonna be the
first ones aboard Noah's Ark.

Why do you say that?

Because God's very
fond of strange people.

- I'm not strange.
- Oh yes, you are.

Anybody who'd talk to someone
like me just like that

on the street is a little bit strange.

I'm making myself something to eat.

Would you like a cup of tea?

Can I have a glass of milk?

Sure.

Now that you're here,

I wish I didn't have
to go to work.

Oh, hello. This is
Donna McDonald's father.

I'm calling to tell you that Donna's
a little bit ill tonight.

In fact, she's really
much too sick to come in.

She's instructed me to tell you,
however,

that you're to proceed with
whatever you're proceeding with

and she'll see you
tomorrow because it's not serious.

Right. Bye for now.

What do you write about?

At the moment, I'm
writing a story about a man

who's just come out of
a mental hospital.

Is that you?

No, it's not me.

I got something for your son.

- She's pretty horrible.
- Where'd you get it?

I'm sorry. (Donna chuckles)

I stole it.

- Did you?
- Mm.

- Really?
- Yes.

You know, I never know
whether to believe you or not.

I sort of think you
probably did steal it. Why?

- 'Cause I'm queer.
- Are you?

I've been attracted to some men.

Do you know that story
about the guy who put his coat

in the puddle so that the
girl could get across?

- Sir Walter Raleigh.
- That's right.

- I wouldn't do it.
- Why?

Well, if it was an
old coat, maybe I would,

but not if it was a good one.

[Donna] But that's the
whole point of the story, Ernie.

The fact that he'd sacrifice a new coat.

Oh, yeah, but he was just
trying to impress the Queen.

If you do something like that,

you shouldn't have any reasons.

Maybe you're right.

What's happened to your socks?

I put them in the washer
white and they came out pink.

I like your socks very much.

(upbeat music)

Hello.

What are you doing up there?

Reading.

- Are you gonna come down?
- Nope, never.

Come down, Ernie.

No, no. Got a lot of homework
to do. I'm staying up here.

- Come on.
- No, no. I'm fine here.

Nope!

What are you doing?

I don't get many visitors up here.

- Ernie.
- What?

I think I'll come down now.

- Let me help you.
- No, no, no. It's okay.

No, I want to.

I'd rather you didn't actually. Okay?

- No please.
- No, well, do we have to...

I don't think this is
a very good idea... to me.

Oh, god.

Hold on.

- Are you ready?
- Yeah, yeah.

Well, no, I'm not really ready.

All right, here we go.

- Now keep steady.
- Oh, oh my god.

Would you...

(Ernie hollers)

Oh, god!

(loud crash)

(Donna chuckles) I'm sorry.

Did I hurt you?

Did I?

Yes, I did, I think.

- Come here.
- No.

I won't bite you.

Don't you ever take a bath?

I forget sometimes.

It's a good thing I
like the smell of bodies.

I hate you.

Oh, come on, you enjoyed it.

No I don't, I hate you.

I hate you.

(Ernie sighs)

Listen, I would do
anything at all for you.

Oh, shut up.

- It's just that I never.
- Never mind.

- I love you very much.
- Oh, please.

- I can't.
- Shh.

You know I've often thought
of myself as being a saint.

- What's a saint, Ernie?
- A saint is someone

who sees that everything
is the same.

Who knows that there
are no differences.

(sound of subway car)

Ernie!

- Hi, Max.
- Hi, Ernie.

- How are you?
- Okay.

What are you doing down here?

- Waiting for you.
- Oh, thanks.

- Where you been, Ernie?
- Hospital.

- How's Gayle?
- How's Rose?

Fine, I did her hair last night.

Oh, yeah? What color is it now?

- Blonde.
- (Ernie chuckles)

We used to hustle together.

We became very good friends.

Listen, you wanna come to my
apartment, have a drink?

No, thanks.

- You wanna go to a party?
- No, no thanks.

There's gonna be a lot
of pretty girls.

(Ernie chuckles)

Come, we have a lot of booze,
pretty girls, everything.

Girls?

(people chatter)

- Hi, did you come alone?
- Yes.

- I just read your mind.
- Oh, yeah?

- What do you do?
- I steal chickens.

Come on.

I'm going to New York.

They charge you 10 cents
every time you make a phone call.

You would die, you talk
so much on the phone.

You'd get a bill that'd choke a horse.

(woman laughs)

- You all right, Ernie?
- Yeah.

You always wear your hair like that?

- Yes, of course.
- What's wrong with it?

It's very funny.

Oh, I think it looks great.

Yeah, and you've got a
little too much eye makeup on,

don't you think?

(woman responds in French)

Oh, she looks pretty.

Yeah, sorry.

He doesn't mean anything.

Oh, it's okay don't worry.

(people chatter)

(folk music)

♪ It's true that all the
men you knew ♪

♪ Were dealers who
said they were through ♪

♪ With dealing every time
it gave them shelter ♪

♪ I know that kind of man
it's hard to hold the hand ♪

♪ Of anyone who's reaching for
the sky just to surrender ♪

♪ Who is reaching for the
sky just to surrender ♪

♪ And leaning on your window sill ♪

♪ He'll say one day you
caused his will ♪

♪ To weaken with your love
and warmth and shelter ♪

♪ And then taking from his
wallet an old schedule ♪

♪ Of trains he'll say I told you ♪

♪ When I came I was a stranger ♪

♪ I told you when I
came I was a stranger ♪

♪ But now another stranger
seems to want you ♪

♪ To ignore his dreams as though
they were the burden of another ♪

♪ You've seen that man
before his golden arm ♪

♪ Dispatching cards but
now it's rusted ♪

♪ From the elbow to the finger ♪

♪ And he wants to trade the
game he plays for shelter ♪

♪ He wants to trade the
game he knows for shelter ♪

♪ You hate to watch
another tired man ♪

♪ Lay down his hand
like he was giving up ♪

Wow, you cut your hair off.

Yes.

You're still wearing
those silly earrings.

All the glasses are dirty.

It doesn't matter anyway.

[Gail] No, I don't want it, thanks.

You didn't come back
to the hospital.

No.

Why not?

Look, I don't wanna
talk about it now, Ernie.

Look, I'm here with somebody.

I just don't want to talk about it.

Why didn't you let
me know when you moved?

And why didn't you come back?

Because I didn't think you
wanted me to.

- Oh, yeah.
- Look, Ernie,

I think you got everything out
of me you wanted to, right?

I just want you to leave me alone.

You disrupt everything.
You make everything chaotic

and ridiculous and I
need some order now

and I need the kind of person

who's gonna bring me
that order, that's all.

♪ While I was waiting I was sure ♪

♪ We'd meet between the
trains we're waiting for ♪

♪ I think it's time to
board another ♪

♪ Please understand I
never had a secret chart

♪ To get me to the heart of
this or any other matter ♪

♪ When he talks like that you
don't know what he's after

♪ When he speaks like this you
don't know what he's after ♪

♪ And leaning on your window
sill he'll say one day ♪

♪ You caused his will to weaken ♪

♪ With your love and
warmth and shelter ♪

♪ And then taking from his
wallet an old schedule ♪

♪ Of trains he'll say I told you ♪

♪ When I came I was a stranger ♪

♪ I told you when I
came I was a stranger ♪

♪ I told you when I
came I was a stranger ♪

(people chatter)

(room goes silent)

(chatter resumes)

How come the suitcase?

Oh, I've been kicked
out of my room.

Well, you might as well
go to my place.

Are you sure this is a good thing?

No, I'm sure it's not a
good thing.

Come on.

Curiously familiar.

Quite a few things of yours around.

Looks nice though, doesn't
it? In that window there.

Yeah.

And there's some clothes
of yours too, Ernie.

If you need them.

Oh, they don't matter.

Don't trouble yourself.

There's some shirts and that
red band jacket thing you love.

- Oh, I would like that.
- Yeah, can I have that?

Yes.

And the rest, Salvation Army.

That's your bed over there.

You know, it is just for
one night, Ernie.

I'll see you in the morning.

Ernie Turner, I'm sleeping by myself.

(door slams)

(dramatic folk music)

Mr. Hemingway, I've come
to see your masterpiece.

Have you written anything?

You've got your coat on.

Yeah.

I'm going to the store.

Just have to drop some
dresses off. Do you want to come?

No.

Why don't you come with me?

We can go to a movie or
something afterwards.

Nope, nope.

No, I'm gonna stay here and
I'm gonna wait for inspiration.

Yeah, which...

I just don't know what's so difficult.

You know, I think if you sit down
and just make yourself do it.

- Can't you?
- Which might fly in the door

the minute you go to the store.

Okay, end of lecture.

[Ernie] End of lecture.

Maybe you're not a writer,
all right?

You know, maybe you're
something else.

Maybe you're a plumber or something.

- Are you going now?
- Yeah.

Good.

- I'll see you later.
- See you later.

See you later!

(phone rings)

Hey!

Hi, I've been looking all over for you.

You're lying.

No, no, I've been
checking all these houses.

What have been doing
since I last saw you?

Oh, I've been very busy.

- (Donna chuckles)
- I can see that.

Yeah.

But I must say you're looking
rather attractive this evening.

Well, I don't feel like it.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

You come in and have
a cup of coffee with me,

but I want you to go around
the back door. Hurry up.

Have another coffee.

And then you've got to go.

Okay.

I saw my mother this morning
and her husband's dying.

No, no, he's not my
father. She married him

a couple of years ago.

But he's liable to die any day now.

- How come?
- I don't know.

Heart, I guess.

How is your mother?

Same as always.

She was taking a man's
suit out to the cleaners

and I asked her how come and she said,

"Cause they refuse to
bury him in his underwear."”

(Donna laughs)

What are you laughing at?

That sounds very funny.

I like your mother.

She must be wonderful.

She's not and that's
why I like you.

Why?

'Cause you're like what I
would have liked her to be.

I remember when we
buried my real father.

When he died, we weren't
in our proper home.

We were in another town.

And he wasn't wearing a
brown suit. And she insisted

that he wear a brown suit and
he didn't have one with him

and the undertaker said
he'd see what he could do

and it was a Sunday.

Anyway, the next day he
was wearing a brown suit

and we were all very
grateful to the undertaker.

Undertaker explained it
was very easy for him

because they'd brought a guy
in wearing a brown suit

and my mother said, "Oh, so you
just changed over suits, eh?”

And he said, "No, I just
changed over heads."

(Donna laughs)

That's a terrible story.

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Playing the game now all of
the time is right ♪

♪ Hearing your name, a fisherman
waiting for a fight ♪

♪ Someone is laughing now
where are you gonna find ♪

♪ (indistinct) ♪

♪ Like some people looking up
asking where is the sky ♪

♪ Someone is laughing now
where are you gonna find ♪

♪ (indistinct) ♪

♪ Where will you go and how ♪

♪ It's not in the books they
gave you to read in schools ♪

♪ Life is a game with none of
the fairy tale book rules ♪

♪ Accept your own right that is
the right to choose ♪

♪ And choose your month
whether you will win or lose ♪

♪ Someone is laughing now
where are you gonna find ♪

You smell like tangerine.

Well, I took a bath.

I know or I wouldn't
have invited you up here.

(Ernie chuckles)

That was my flat chest!
(Donna chuckles)

(Ernie hollers)

Look, I've got a million
things to do.

You'll have to go now.

- You're just a tease.
- No, I'm not.

Yes.

Why did you invite me up
here? Why did you dance for me?

Because when you stopped
coming around

I began to miss you.

That was your idea.

I know, but I didn't realize how
attached I was becoming to you.

Here.

All right. I'll be seeing you.

Come here.

Has anyone ever told you
what a beautiful man you are?

I mean, you're a
beautiful, funny, nutty man.

And I could get to like
you very much.

- I'm going now.
- Bye.

(phone rings)

I'll see you.

I'll wait until you're finished.

(child speaks)

Me too.

Come on. Get back into your room.

I thought you were going.

Okay. I am.

Who was that?

I don't owe you any explanations.

All right. You have a right to know.

Do you remember I told you that
there were other people in my life?

Well, he's one of them.

Do you love him?

More than I like him.

He wants to look after me and
I think that's what I need.

Ernie, I must need you because
I keep coming back for more.

If you did pawn that
watch, Ernie

keep the stub and we
can redeem it later.

Here.

I'm not hungry now.

I'm going out.

Donna!

Donna!

Donna!

(Ernie bangs on the door)

I beg your... I'm sorry.

Well, I guess she's not in!

Hey, you.

What?

What?

[Man] Are you a detective
or something?

No.

You go away right now
or I'll call the police.

[Ernie] If I don't go away right now,

you'll call the police?

Sure, I will.

What are you doing
hanging over that fence?

[Man] Well, that's my fence. Now!

- Oh, you own that fence.
- Yes.

- I see.
- Now, you get out of here.

Cheap fence.

Now! You're gonna
pay for that my friend.

I don't know what the hell you
are, but you get out of here.

Understand? I mean it.

I'm gonna call the cops.

Well, no I don't wanna
have any trouble with you.

I think you've got a very good point.

I wouldn't want strange people
wondering around my backyard.

Well, then you understand.

No, I understand.

You're absolutely right.

- Goodnight, sir.
- Goodnight, my friend.

- I'm sorry I troubled you.
- It's all right.

You're right. Thank you.

(heavy machinery running)

Will you take our picture?

- Press the button here, okay?
- Okay. All right.

You can go and stand over there.

Hold it, hold it. Stay still.
Now... smile.

It doesn't work.

Hang on.

I think you have to wind it up.

Smile.

- (Woman) That's enough!
- No no, stay where you are.

I'll try and get the
statue in this time.

[Woman] Come on, you're
using up all my film.

Yes, got it!

- Are you finished?
- Almost. Hold it.

Okay, I'm coming. Don't worry.

- I'll take that.
- You're right. Wow, that's very nice.

Come on. You used up all my film.

Oh, I'm sorry. Is it very expensive?

No, not so expensive. $16.98.

Okay, right.

Could I have it now? Eh?

Yes, here.

Thanks a lot, eh. You're very kind.

Let's get it off you.

- Thank you very much.
- Okay, see you. Bye.

What is it today, Ernie?

Can you find me a job?

This is a recreation center,
as you well know.

You'll have to go to
the unemployment center.

And you won't even try to help?

- How can I help you, Ernie?
- What kind of help do you want?

I want to work.

I want a job. I want to get married.

I want to have a wife of my own.

I want to have a home and
I want to be a person

instead of a case history.

I... (Ernie shrieks)

All I want to do is write

and I don't even own a typewriter.

[Woman] What do you
need a typewriter for?

Well, I just finished a story and...

I wrote it out myself and...

nobody can read my writing.

- Well, brand new typewriter.
- It's only a week old.

How long are you gonna need it for?

Have it back in a week, will you?

Oh, yes.

You take care of it, will you,
Ernie?

Thank you.

I wouldn't be so much trouble
if I wasn't a genius.

Think you're a genius?

Maybe not a genius.

But a saint.

I don't always like
to admit it though.

Don't take my picture!

Get out of here!

- You wanna take my face?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

What do you want me to do?

I just want you to smile, okay?

Okay! (Man laughs)

What did you do with your teeth?

- In there.
- Oh, I see.

Can I see that again?

Take your teeth. That's it.

This is gonna be great.

One more. One more just like that.

The bottom set. The bottom set.

Yeah hold them just like that.

Great. Great.

That a boy!

- Thank you very much.
- See you around.

(upbeat folk music)

I'll send you one if they turn out!

[Man] Thanks, buddy!

(upbeat folk music)

Ernie, Ernie! Ernie, Ernie!

What are you doing here?

- Listen, Donna.
- The back door.

No, wait, wait.

I came around to tell you something.

What?

My mother died.

I'm sorry.

Come back tomorrow. I've got to go.

Okay, bye. Bye.

- Ernie? Ernie Turner?
- Yes.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I took a bath and I
started thinking about us.

(Ernie laughs)

Aren't you glad to see me?

Yes, oh yes.

Why don't you come back to my house?

Here?

Yeah, wait. I was thinking
about you just now.

I'll make you something to eat.

Right.

When do we eat?

As soon as the grocery boy comes.

I'm hungry.

Want to try something good?

Mmm. What are you trying
to do, seduce me?

In my own way, yes.

Skin is splashed.

- That was interesting.
- What?

What you just did then.

I don't know. Impressed.

(knock at door)

Hi, Bri. You're late tonight.

[Bri] Well, I had a wreck.

Not another one.

Bye.

- Ernie.
- Huh?

You must be feeling upset.

Why?

About your mother. When did she die?

My mother didn't die.

What have you been
up to besides lying?

- Oh, I found a job.
- Where?

- In a factory.
- What factory?

- A factory.
- What kind of factory?

Um, where they make things.

- Doing what?
- Working in the factory.

- What kind of work?
- Factory work.

Ernie, why do you wanna
lie to me all the time?

I don't know.

Well, I don't know either,
but I wished you'd get a job.

Well, I wish I had some money.

No, you don't or you would get it.

I want some money. I
just don't want a job.

Well, other people have them.

Yes, I know.

Ernie, get a job.

Comb your hair. Take a bath.

Then maybe I could get to love you.

- Could you really?
- Who knows?

I don't think I can do that.

Try.

- Donna, don't do this.
- Do what?

Make me think.

You need to think, Ernie.

Too many people have been
good to you.

No, they haven't,
as a matter of fact.

Stand still.

Will you quit lecturing me!

- Itchy nose. Itchy forehead.
- Ernie agitated.

Ernie frustrated. Ernie frowning.

Ernie smiling.

- That's better.
- Shh, shh.

Poor Ernie. Always
feeling sorry for himself.

Poor Ernest. Pacing up and down.

Poor Ernie.

What are you trying to do?

I'm trying to get you to see that
you create these things for yourself.

No, I don't. My personality just
hasn't had a chance to develop fully.

Poor Ernie.

I'm...

Look, you're not gonna
see me around anymore

if you keep this up.

(slaps face)

All I know is that I think
about you all the time.

I eat and I drink, I sleep
Donna. I can't help it.

You're trying to understand me
in spite of yourself, aren't you?

I don't know.

I'm just not used to any
kind of attention, that's all.

I haven't had much.

Then you need it.

I believe people deserve
to get what they need.

Pick me up.

♪ (indistinct) ♪

♪ She's looking at me I see ♪

♪ She's climbing the friendship tree ♪

♪ Diamonds in her smile as she ♪

♪ She's smiling and warming me ♪

♪ She's climbing the friendship tree ♪

♪ There's a garden somewhere close beside outside
soul ♪ ♪ She's climbing the friendship tree ♪

♪ There's a garden somewhere
close beside outside soul ♪

♪ Three well little children play ♪

♪ An ancient place where lovers go ♪

♪ We kiss and it's all I can see ♪

♪ Bows of the friendship tree ♪

♪ (indistinct) ♪

♪ Now the clouds have broken
on the curtain shroud ♪

♪ We're on our own and
gone the shadow cloud ♪

♪ Dreaming like snow ♪

(Donna laughs)

[Donna] Stop!

You look nice with shorter hair.

(Ernie sniffles)

Are you upset?

No, my nose is running,
that's all.

Look at me. Blow.

(Ernie blows nose)

Good, now my ears are blocked.

You're a baby.

Can you smile?

You look very nice.

What's the matter, baby?

Do you have to go to work today?

Yeah, but if you got up and
started doing something different,

you'd feel okay.

Well.

I've felt like you
before a couple times.

You just have to think differently.

You know what? I'll come back
and we'll have lunch together.

Will you get up?

Yeah, okay. What time
will you come back?

I'll come back in the lunch hour.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Okay.

You sure you have to go, eh?

- Get up, Ernie.
- Yeah.

Bye.

(radio host talks)

Well, what am I
gonna put on today?

I think I'll wear my brown
shirt and my brown pants

and my red...

What I need... is a tie.

I'll wear my blue blazer
and my green tie.

(Ernie sighs)

If I had a suit...

a formal suit...

If only there was a
little action in my life.

(Ernie hollers)

I think I'll just give it all up.

Maybe I should try something
completely different.

(Ernie chuckles)

Yeah, what I need is a suit.

Well now, this is your lucky day.

Have you seen these new...

- No, I'm not interested.
- You're not?

Got to remember the
right mental attitude.

Smile. Be happy.
Think positive, right?

Hey, Bob. How are you?

Haven't seen you in a long...

(car revs)

(man knocks)

(car revs)

My car!

(tires squeal)

- How far you going?
- Toronto.

Toronto?

Okay, hop in.

Hey, aren't you going
a little bit fast?

- Gotta go fast.
- Gotta get to Toronto.

Big business deal. $25,000.
Worth 10 dollars a minute to me.

(tires squeal)

(engine revs)

(train runs)

Can you let us off?

I thought you were going to Toronto.

We changed our mind.

(tires squeal)

(tires squeal)

I won't be a second.

Thank you. Bye.

- Who was that?
- A friend.

- What kind of friend?
- An old friend.

- What's his name?
- None of your business.

- Where'd you pick him up?
- In the street?

Leave me alone.

Ah, really supportive.

Ernie, he's an old friend
I borrowed a book from.

You know, you have no right
to be seeing another man.

Don't tell me what to do!

- You're a bitch!
- Shut up!

Look, Ernie. Will you look at me, Ernie?

Have I asked you to
take over my life?

Are you ready to marry
me and support my child?

No.

[Donna] Then don't tell
me what to do.

[Ernie] I'm going out.

(phone rings)

Hello, hello?

Ernie? Ernie, it's
after one o'clock. Get up.

(Ernie mumbles)

What's wrong? Where have you been?

I was expecting you last night.

You could have called or something.

I haven't been feeling well.

What's wrong?

I'm depressed.

Well, lying in bed all day
long isn't going to help it.

- [Ernie] Yes, it is.
- It's the only thing.

(Ernie urinates)

Listen, I'm kinda of hungry.
Have you got any money?

No, I don't.

Will you leave me alone about that?

I've got to work.

My stalkings have got runs in them.

What is this here?

- Oh, I...
- Donna.

[Donna] What are these?

- Ah, pills.
- No kidding.

What kind of pills?

[Ernie] Some pills the
doctor game me.

- What kind of pills?
- Sleeping pills.

[Donna] Ernie, you don't
have any trouble sleeping.

Donna, the doctor gave them to me.

Well, you don't mind
me taking them with me.

Listen, if you leave now,

I'm not gonna come after
you again. I mean it.

You're not the kind of girl I
wanna get stuck with anyway.

What kind is that?

Running around with every guy.

I think you'd go to bed with anyone.

God, I'd like to meet
a real woman sometimes.

I may not be a real
woman, but you're not a man.

Yes, I'm a saint.

A hack saint.

Girls don't like saints.

- What do they like?
- Sex, that's all.

They ruin men.

And they make great
men out of them too.

This must be some kind of an act.

What is this, some kind
of a game you play?

Ernie, I don't act.

- You're a bitch.
- I know.

[Ernie] But you can't help
it because you're a woman.

Thank you.

Where did you get that?

I got it and I'm gonna
kill you, Donna.

Go ahead. You'd be
doing us both a favor.

I'm serious!

If I thought for one moment
that you had enough courage

to pull that trigger,
I wouldn't be leaving.

(gun fires)

- Hey, will you please help me?
- That guy won't let me alone.

- What's this, you need help?
- He won't let me alone.

- Why?
- Why what?

Why won't you let her alone?

What's wrong?

There's nothing wrong. I think
the lady is a little bit drunk.

A little drunk?

Right.

She's drunk.

What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.

You go away too. You probably
belong to the same thing.

Lady, why don't you go away?

If you've got troubles, it's
because you're looking for them.

- Who asked you to butt in?
- You did.

Right. Who asked you to butt in?

- Is that your girl?
- My girl?

Yeah.

She your girl?

Yeah.

Well, no wonder you butted in.

Sure, I was concerned.

I really understand that. She's your...

(engine revs)

Wow.

Come on, let's go.

What did you think when
she stopped you?

Were you sympathetic toward her?

I don't know.

You run into a lot of
situations like that.

Yeah, I followed her out
of the bar for some reason.

Yeah, you probably
thought you could help her.

Yeah. How did you know that?

I could tell as soon
as I got a look at you.

Yeah, you really know things.

Maybe. Where are you going now?

I don't know.

You wanna go to bed with me?

- No.
- Are you sure?

- Where do you come from?
- California.

My hotel's this way.

- I'll see you around.
- Yeah.

No, listen, I don't feel
like being alone right now.

Can I come up to your hotel
room for a drink? Okay?

Sure, sure.

Did you ever hold up a place before?

But I've seen it done many times.

- In the movies?
- Yeah.

It's pretty clear really.

Okay, if it's that clear,
what do you have in mind?

Well, we go somewhere and
because we have the gun,

they give us the money.

[Man] Okay, go ahead.

[Ernie] I'm a little bit
nervous, but it's my first time.

I guess that's normal, eh?

Sure, that's part of the kick.

Yeah.

Well, one thing for sure,
we don't have to pay our bill.

Are you gonna shoot the waitress?

Bang!

Look, put that thing in
your pocket and leave it there.

All right.

Let's try this theater over here.

Right.

(brakes squeal)

(doors shut)

Keep that out of sight, man.

Hey.

- I think I lost my wallet here.
- Can I see the manager please?

Yes, sir. Would you
come with me please.

- Just through the check room.
- Thank you.

(knock at the door)

Come in.

Yes?

I lost my wallet here.

When did you lose it?

[Man] This evening.

Well, we see.

Well, I'm sorry. There's
nothing here.

But I left it here this evening.

Okay, listen. Come back
later. After the show.

(game on television)

(Ernie laughs)

Hey, man. Why didn't you
pull the gun, man? Fink!

(Ernie laughs)

I don't know.

We've gotta get ourselves
some money soon.

Yes, I know.

(car engine starts)

(car revs)

(game on television)

Okay, just give me your money
or I'll blow your head off.

The guy was nowhere to be
seen. He was way at the back.

There was maybe a dozen
people buying things

and I had to walk right
down the middle aisle.

- Crowded store.
- Yeah!

Without anybody noticing.

Idiot, put it away.

Waiter. Waiter. Psst.

Listen, would you like to hear
a very curious story?

You're crazy. You're crazy.

A really interesting story
about what we've just done.

Let's go, man.

It's time to go. Come on.

Right.

- Calm down, man. Relax.
- Take it easy.

I'm gonna get you.

Sure. Sure.

(gun fires)

Steve? Are you all right?

I didn't mean... Steve?

Steve?

- All I want is half the money.
- That's all.

If I were you, I'd go.
I'd get out of here.

(car engine)

- Okay, driver, this is an emergency.
- Follow that sports car.

(bus revs)

(engines rev loudly)

- Donna.
- What do you want?

Why don't you say something
nice to me for a change?

Why don't you leave me alone?

- I love you.
- Quit bugging me.

You could say, "Ernie, I love you."

I don't lie.

You love me.

I don't! Now this is the
last time I'm telling you.

Leave me alone!

I'll tell that cop up there.

Hi.

You're making something
ugly out of this.

What do I have to do?

Don't you understand? No!

Remember these? Your writings.
Take them. I don't want them.

You're crazy!

You look married. Are you?

I look married? Yes, I am.

- Are you happy?
- Happily married?

- No no. Just happy.
- Of course.

You know, I've been
thinking about that man

who fell asleep in his
garden among the flowers

and the butterflies and
while he slept he dreamt

that he was a butterfly
flying through the garden

and that he could see
the man asleep.

But when he woke up, he
was no longer sure

if he was a man dreaming
he was a butterfly

or if he was a butterfly
dreaming he was a man.

(building crashes)

(heavy machinery revs)

Hello?

(window slams)

Hello, can I speak to
Dr. Collier please?

Oh, Dr. Collier. It's me.

I was wondering...
I'd like to donate my

mind to medical science.

I haven't been reading
anything, but I'd like to know

how I can go about doing
this. I'm very serious.

So?

Naturally.

I don't have any aspirins.

(phone dialing)

Hello, can I speak to
anybody who's there please?

Yes, that's right. Anybody at all.

You what?

No, I'm not crazy. I'd just like
to speak to somebody, that's all.

Can I speak to you?

Don't hang up!

(water runs)

Oh no, you don't know me.

I just want to talk.

Will you talk to me?

Yeah, but I need some...

Somebody to talk to.

(children chattering)

(phone dialing)

(phone rings)

- Hello.
- Gail, you've gotta help me.

[Woman] Who's this?

- Is that you, Ernie?
- Yes.

- [Donna] This is Donna, Ernie.
- Will you stop bugging me?

No. Listen, Donna. I wanna live.

I just realized it.

[Donna] I can't help you, Ernie.

Well, you're the only
one who can help me, Donna.

- I took the pills.
- What pills?

Where are you, Ernie?

You're the only one
who can help me.

You're the only one who knows.

It's up to you.

[Donna] Ernie? Ernie? Ernie
Turner, can you hear me?

Ernie, answer me!

Ernie?

(children chattering and hollering)