The Emperor's Newest Clothes (2018) - full transcript

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Once upon a time,
in a world not unlike ours

Although then
people dressed differently

and there were no airplanes,
no running water, and no iPhones

there was a ruler

and he was called the Emperor.

Now, this emperor told you
everything you should believe.

He told you the sun was out
when it was raining.

He told you it was raining
when the sun was out.

And even though
neither of these things

might be true as fact



it didn't really matter
because the Emperor would decide

what was what, who was what,
what was who, and what was true.

Now one day, this emperor
decided to celebrate a holiday

that he had declared for himself
and himself alone.

I declare a holiday for me, me...

I declare a holiday
In honor of delicious me

Let's parade through the town

So the people can touch
My marvelous golden crown

And know how lucky they are

To have me as their Tsar

I mean their Emperor

Me...

Me...

Me...



But since a holiday's
Been declared for me

A new outfit must be prepared for me

And what'll it be?

Nobody knows

The Emperor needs new clothes

Oh, the Emperor needs new clothes

Oh, the Emperor needs new clothes

I request a new suit made of silk

Yes, I'm of that ilk

Striped cravat or red-suspendered

Pants

Maybe I'll take a chance
On a new cashmere coat

So that people can note
I'm a personage of note

It may sound kind of bizarre

That I'm their Commissar
No, I mean their Emperor!

Everything will turn out fine,
I'll be my own Valentine

My favorite pronouns, I, me, mine

Mine...

But since a holiday's
Been thrown for me

A new outfit must be sewn for me

And what should it be?

Nobody knows

The Emperor needs new clothes.

Oh, the Emperor needs new clothes

Oh, the Emperor needs new clothes

Oh, the Emperor needs new clothes

The Emperor would then announce
over the palace loudspeaker

that he needed the finest tailors
in the world

to come forth at once
to make him the best outfit ever.

Hear ye... villagers far and wide

it is your Emperor speaking,
the one and only.

Send me men who will make me glisten

in the upcoming parade.

Villagers, far and wide

it is your Emperor speaking,
the one and only.

And so it would come to pass

that obliging tailors
from many quarters of his kingdom

came from far and wide

for when the Emperor called,
everyone would listen.

Now, how to choose?

Well this emperor chose
from the outside inside

from the form to the content.

And whom did he choose?

The ones who would admire him
beyond his worth.

Oh, these are my men

because their knees are bruised
from kneeling

their backs are broken from bowing.

They are my kind of tailors.

But they were not real tailors,
they were robbers.

They were imposters,
they were charlatans.

Oh, Emperor. Oh, Emperor.

How would we live without you?

How would we have air to breathe?

We adore you!

This emperor was anxious
to look particularly beautiful

for this special day.

He had been very concerned lately
about his fading looks

and the fact that his belly
had gotten a little too portly.

These pretend tailors pretended
to measure him up and down.

Oh, Your Majesty,
how thin you will look.

How thin I am.

Your Majesty,
how straight your toes are.

No corns, no bunions, so regal.

Your Majesty, how elegant
your long fingers are.

Yes, my hands and fingers
are the perfect length.

Your Majesty, you will be even more
exquisite and imperial

when clothed in our garments.

It is unimaginable
how beautiful I will be.

Emperor.

This emperor had never felt so good
about himself

for he felt that he found
the best haberdashers in the land.

Time went by...

and the impatient emperor
summoned his jester, Syco.

Hello, Emperor.

And then summoned
his advisor, Phantic.

At your service, sir.

Syco, you must go immediately to see
how my outfit is coming along.

You are my favorite jester,
so you must look at it first.

Indeed, Your Majesty.

Okay, Your Majesty.

Amazing how everything you say,
Your Majesty, is correct

Is correct and how easily you earn
Our undying respect

And with so little fuss

How amazing you are
Is what's amazing to us

Your hair, Your Majesty
Such flair, Your Majesty

And the clothes you've appeared in
You do not look weird in

Are always right and never wrong
Never too tight and never too long

Your clothes are wicked strong
And wicked thin

Your clothes make legs look long
And push the stomach in

No, no, I'm going to the tailor

I'm checking on the tailor

To make sure that the clothes
He's building

Are worthy of you

Are they worthy of you?

But since you chose the tailor

I'm sure that the tailor is fine...

And the clothes are fine...

Very, very fine

And soon, Your Majesty
I'll return, Your Majesty

And certainly when I return,
Your Majesty

I will report how good
You look in the clothes

As you parade through the court
And a new added plus

How amazing you are
Is what's amazing to us

How amazing you are
Is what's amazing to us

How amazing you are
Is what's amazing to us

How amazing you are
Is what's amazing to us

The tailors were ensconced
in a very special room

not too far from the palace.

As soon as Syco arrived

the robbers had him look
immediately at the mannequin

where they said...

We have been weaving
feverishly, Syco.

Day and night, night and day

creating the finest of robes
for the finest of emperors.

The fabric, the beauty
of the golden threads

and these rare jewels from Russia
that we are weaving into the cloth.

Now, if truth be told

although it is not often told
in this story

Syco the jester
looked carefully at the mannequin

and I must tell you
that the jester saw...

nothing.

But he felt that he couldn't
disappoint the Emperor

because he had been promoted
to chief jester

without the proper background.

And so when he looked
at the mannequin

which his eyes clearly saw was bare

his calculating brain
sang to himself.

Please, Mr. Jester, you must pretend

You cannot say what you saw
'Cause you saw nothing

So you must pretend

And unless you say
You saw something beautiful

They'll hire someone smarter
And funnier in your place

I know it's a disgrace

I agree
But they will and until they do

You will pretend

You saw something handsome being
made

So the Emperor will march... proudly

In the parade!

In the parade!

In the parade!

And so Syco the Jester,
"oohed and "ahhed"

and somersaulted with joy
back and forth.

He said the cloth he did not see
was beautiful.

He said the colors he did not see
were wondrous

and that the Emperor
would be so very pleased.

And then he left.

He congratulated himself
about his deceptive performance

for he felt he had been very smart

to say that he had seen something
even though he had seen nothing.

Oh, my great Emperor

the outfit they are making you
for the grand parade is so glorious.

The shine, the shimmer, the length,
the fullness of it

you will look magnificent!

Syco, Jester, I cannot wait to see it

and I trust your impeccable taste.

I cannot wait to wear this outfit
in the grandest of parades.

And so as time would pass

the Emperor would grow
even more impatient

for it was now only several days
until the grand parade

and the weavers were still weaving.

The Emperor called Phantic,
his advisor.

Phantic! Phantic, could you check in
on the tailors

and see how they're coming along
with my grand frock?

Phantic the advisor rushed
to see the tailors.

Alas, the same thing happened
that occurred with Syco the Jester.

It's royal.

It's regal and only our Emperor,
the Emperor will wear this...

So beautifully.

Phantic, the Advisor,
saw nothing on the mannequin

absolutely and positively nothing.

The Tailors bowed low

and the advisor
bowed even lower to the tailors.

And so it would be

that the advisor would rush back
to the palace

rehearsing his story.

Oh, Mr. Phantic

Please, tell a lie

You will be replaced
If you say you saw nothing

So, please, tell a lie

Say the clothes the tailors' making
Are so beautiful

You can't find words to describe them

So you stand there like a mime

With neither word nor rhyme

It's a crime

Please don't start sweating
And start forgetting

Please, tell a lie

You saw something exquisite
Being made

So the Emperor will march...

Proudly

- In the parade!
- Paparap-parap-parap-parapa

- In the parade!
- Paparap-parap-parap-parapa

- In the parade!
- Paparap-parap-parap-parap-parapa

Papapap!

Phantic, my advisor, come up at once.

The advisor ran up the stairs,
he ran and ran and ran.

You've seen my completed frock
and I must hear.

I must hear
of its incomparable beauty.

Oh! Oh, Emperor, what have I seen?
It's so glorious.

It's glorious, great Emperor!

The light from the fabric,
it has a heavenly glow.

I've seen it myself,
it's so glorious!

It will stun the crowd,
trust me, my Emperor.

- No, trust me. Me!
- Me... I said me. Me. I.

I'm Syco

Hello, I'm Phantic

We're sycophantic indeed

It is agreed the clothes
We saw were beautiful

- We're sycophantic indeed
- We're sycophantic indeed

Indeed, the clothes you need

- Must be better than glorious
- Must be better than glorious

- Silks must be silkier
- Wool woollier

And linen must be so so raw

So so raw

Thank God we saw

The tailors measuring and pleasuring
The clothes they were tailoring

We're sycophantic indeed

And glory to the clothes
The tailor made

So in just one day

You'll march away

Proudly

- In your brocade
- Paparap-parap-parap-parapa

- In the parade!
- Paparap-parap-parap-parapa

- In the parade!
- Paparap-parap-parap-parapa

Papapap!

And so the promised day would arrive.

The Emperor put
last-minute touch-ups on himself

and waiting impatiently
for his gown to finally arrive

for this frock was going to make him
finally and forever

the fairest in the land.

The tailors arrived at the palace

while carrying what seemed to be
a very heavy package

although in truth, in fact

they had absolutely nothing
in their arms.

Don't drop it, it's so heavy.

I would never dare.

They rushed up

pretending to be bent over
by its weight

carrying this heavy no-weight,
invisible garment

to the mirror where the Emperor
was posturing.

We have bejeweled this garment
with the rubies of ancient India

the diamonds of Russia.

And the finest silk in China.

Ah, sir.

The tailors then carefully dressed
the Emperor in nothingness.

Oh, put your arms here, sir.

Let us straighten the bottom
a little bit, sir.

And put this around here, sir.

And the collar, let's stand it up.

Oh, it makes your perfect face
glisten in the light.

The Emperor looked in the mirror
and all he saw, alas

was his rather plump self.

The Emperor was afraid to admit

in front of the finest tailors
in the land

that his jester, Syco...

How does it feel, Your Majesty?

...and his advisor, Phantic...

Is it up to your liking, sir?

...that he was not wearing

the most beautiful frock
in the world.

Beautiful. Elegant.

Yes, Your Majesty.

- Marvelous.
- You'll be the belle of the ball.

Perfection.

And thus, the parade would begin.

The town was Ablaze with excitement.

The excited children
were excused from school.

Everybody cheered

because they all knew that they had
to love the Emperor.

Because if they didn't love
the Emperor

where would they be?

What would become of them?

Would he close their shops?

Would he send them far away?

Would he set locusts free
in the streets?

They feared for their children

because this emperor
had a demonic streak.

He acted on impulse.

And they feared him
while pretending to love him.

And because they feared him,
they rejoiced in him.

Emperor, Emperor!

Barely noticeable in the crowd
was a tiny girl

her name was Thomasina.

She was very good in school

and was the country's
hopscotch champion.

Thomasina looked around oddly
at everybody cheering and yelling.

She didn't really understand

because what she saw
were beautiful ponies

an elegant carriage

a very dark sky
everyone called the "sun"

and mostly, a mostly naked emperor.

Suddenly, in her beautiful voice
that rose above the crowd

she sang out.

The Emperor with no clothes on
Is not regal

To this smart little girl
He looks illegal

What I say about the Emperor
Do I mean it?

Do I mean it?

Yeah!

I tell it exactly as I have seen it

Yoo-hoo, yoo-hoo, Emperor,
yoo-hoo, townsfolk.

Yoo-hoo, puppy dogs and mice.

Yoo-hoo, pussycats and teddy bears

I am here to tell you something
that I see.

Quiet, girl!

When the Emperor marches
Through the town

He waves and waves
And doesn't look down

When I look askance

He doesn't look at the world

Like he knows his is wearing
Only underpants

He's marching in underpants

Underpants? Yikes!

Underpants!

Barararam!

Little Thomasina could not help
but sing and speak out the truth.

Mommy, Pappy,
the Emperor is N-A-K-E-D.

At which point, the local farmer
turned local hairdresser

who turned to the local butcher,
who turned to the local baker.

- Thomasina.
- Thomasina.

You should be quiet, Thomasina.

Thomasina, please shush.

- Be quiet, Thomasina, shush.
- Shush, Thomasina.

Shush, Thomasina.

And the Emperor marched through
the entire town

feeling so very great about himself.

Suddenly, thunder clouds rolled in

hard rain came from
the great skies above.

Poor Thomasina, for her behavior

was put to bed without her usual
cookies and milk

for she had seen
and sung out the truth.

Night fell, the town grew quiet

and the rain continued to pour down.

Late that evening

the soaking wet Emperor
returned to his palace.

He looked at himself in the mirror

and he heard the voice
of a little girl

a little girl
who had been in the crowd.

The Emperor is practically naked...

In a rare and special brief moment

one single tear appeared.

Oh, please, don't cry.

Please, Your Majesty, don't cry.

Let me wipe that tear away from you.

- No, let me wipe it away.
- Me!

- Me!
- No, me!

- No.
- Silence!

This is not a tear, I do not cry.

Emperors do not cry
and this is not a tear.

Maybe a raindrop, sir.

No.

I am the ruler,
I am right and the sun is shining.

Yes it is, sir, Emperor,
it is a beautiful day.

You are right, sir.
The sun is shining.

But the Emperor
would have none of that

for they had seen a tear.

And the Emperor would never admit
to any failure.

Jester, I don't need you. Go now.

Advisor, be gone with you.
You're fired!

The two bowed to the Emperor

sloughed off in a cowardly fashion,
and left the palace.

I declared a holiday for me

Me...

I declared a holiday
In honor of delicious me

We paraded through the town

So the people could touch
My marvelous golden crown

And know how lucky they are

To have me as their Tsar

I mean their Emperor

Me...

Me...

But since a holiday
Was declared for me

A new outfit must be prepared for me

And what'll it be?

Nobody knows...

As for Thomasina

she was sad to go to bed
without milk and cookies.

But she was glad for she had
told the truth that day.

And she hoped that a new truth
would prevail in her kingdom.

For when she grew up

she would be the leader
of true stories.

But now that this particular story
is over

I, the narrator

will make sure she gets
the milk and cookies she deserves

because in this kind of fairy tale

anything is possible.

The Emperor with no clothes on
Is not regal

To this smart little girl
He looks illegal

What I said about the Emperor
Did I mean it?

Did I mean it?

Yeah!

I told it exactly as I had seen it

When he marched... through the town

He waved and waved
And didn't look down

When I looked askance

He never looked to the world

Like he knew
He was wearing only underpants

Underpants

I was punished then was sent to bed

With no dinner 'cause what I had said

I'm taking a stance

Honestly the truth

Is that the Emperor
Was wearing only underpants

Always tell the truth

If you're old or middle aged
Or even in your youth

Really there's nothing
More important you can say

Telling the Emperor
Exactly what he's wearing

Is what the world needs

Especially today

So what is the moral here?
And what did you learn?

There may something here to ponder,
who is really telling the truth?

Not the Emperor. Not the tailors.
Not the advisor. Not the jester.

Not even the crowd.

Perhaps just one little Thomasina?

So remember, always tell the truth

Don't be scared
To tell a bully the truth

In a kingdom of "Cants"

You can always tell the Emperor
He's always nude

And only wearing underpants

Underpants, yay!

Underpants

Barararam!

So there was no frock,
there was no gold

there was no silver,
there was no shining glory

and there was no sun.

In fact, one has to wonder
was there really any Emperor at all?

When he marched... through the town

He waved and waved
And didn't look down

When I looked askance

He never looked to the world

Like he knew
He was wearing only underpants

Underpants

I was punished then was sent to bed

With no dinner 'cause what I had said

I'm taking a stance

Honestly the truth

Is that the Emperor
Was wearing only underpants

He's marching in underpants

Underpants? Yikes!

Underpants

Barararam!

Translator: IYUNO

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.