The Con Artist (2010) - full transcript

Two pairs of socks,
that's the key.

Key to what?
Key to staying fresh

and feeling
good, you know?

What you do is
you keep an extra pair of socks

in your pocket, one
in your lunch pail.

Around 2:00,
3:00 o'clock in the afternoon

you slap those
bad boys on,

bam, you feel like
a million bucks.

I'll have to remember that.
Yeah.

I hope you don't mind
our first meeting

being down here whilst
I'm taking a walk.



No, it's
no problem.

You looking
for a job?

Yeah, I'm getting
something lined up.

Oh, really? That's good.
What have you got?

Uh, body work.
Nice.

You know, I'm going
to need to see your pay stubs

on a regular basis.

You can have some
alcohol, but no drugs.

We do random
drug testing.

And you know
about the travel restrictions?

Yeah, yeah, I'm not
going anywhere.

And you know the
number one thing

that makes all parolees
go back to jail?

Not enough socks?
No.



Stay away from
all known felons

and former
criminal associates.

If I find you break
that condition,

you go directly
back to jail.

You do not
pass go.

You do not
collect $200.

Am I clear?

Yeah, crystal.
Good.

You know, Vince,
I'm going to be watching you.

I'm looking out
for you, man, I got your back.

Lucky me.
Ha!

I sent you guys out
to do an easy job.

What the fuck
happened to you?

Couldn't find Vince?

No, we got him
right here.

Mother of God.

Get him out of there!

Which one of you
did this, you?

You told us
to bring him here.

Not in the trunk,
asshole.

Come on in,
Vince.

What?

Sit him down.

You don't seem
like yourself, Vince.

And I don't mean
'cause of what these two did to you.

You could always
take a beating,

couldn't you?

Get me a couple
of glasses

and some ice water,
will you?

I invited him
to come see you.

And he declined.

Oh, he declined,
did he?

Yeah, he said,
"No fucking way."

Actually, he said

that he couldn't.

Well, if that is
truly the case,

then you should
have phoned me

and told me that
he had declined,

and I would have
personally invited him.

I confronted him

and he told us
to fuck off.

So Dean whacked him
with a tire iron

and started kicking
him on the ground.

You never
learn, do you?

Never, ever learn.

Jackie, take him
to the paint room.

No, Mr. K...
Shut up, Dean,

Aah! you're just going to make it
worse for yourself.

Fuck, Jackie!

Larry, stay
where you are.

I figured you were going
to come straight to me.

What were you thinking?
You forget me?

Yeah.

You're my favourite,
you know that?

You should have told
that to the new guy.

Everybody knows.

But Dean's got an
inferiority complex.

I, uh...
It's true, Larry.

Larry thinks he's
just an asshole.

He's good
at his job.

Great.

Not as good as you.

This is my first day out.

I'm not going
back to jail.

Not... I mean,
not for you,

not for anybody.

I'm done stealing cars.

You got another way
to pay me back

the money you owe me?

I gave you
five years,

figured,
you know, five... You figured wrong.

Drink your water.

It was my money
in that bag

you threw over that bridge.

You always said that
if we got trapped,

dump the goods.
Where it can be recovered.

I was road-blocked
on that bridge.

My money.

I want it back.

The vig on that
starts today.

You got that, Larry?

Yes sir,
Mr. Kranski.

I could have
been out in two.

Instead, I kept
my mouth shut.

Out in two? Yeah.

In a pine box.

You act as if
you had a choice.

You didn't have a choice.

You don't have
a choice now, sweetheart.

The Mezalis, the
crazy Lithuanians,

they got a ship
I got to fill up with high-end cars.

You do that, you
pay off your debt.

Need help
getting up?

I want you to
see Vince home.

And send
Dean back in.

I want to see
where he's at.

You're the best car
thief I ever saw.

It's a gift.

Man's got a gift,

he's got a duty
to use it.

Use it, Vince,

that's
who you are.

I'll open 'em,
I'll start 'em,

but I don't drive 'em.

Those Mezalis,

they'll feed you
to their dogs, dawg.

- Straight up.
- He's right, you know,

Latvian fucking
wolf hounds, Vince.

A lot's changed since
you got sent up.

Mr. K. wants us to
bring you up to speed.

Here to learn,
Sensei.

Yeah, that's
funny, son.

This shit costs
Mr. K. a lot of money.

It comes from
the Chinese

and the Israelis.
That's right,

it's that kosher chow mein shit right there.
Dean, Dean,

just shut the
fuck up, okay!

So you punch
in the VIN,

take the jimmy key,
you put it in the frequency generator,

it changes the
code on the chip inside the key.

Okay?
Cool. Cool.

And you think
this thing's faster than me?

Pss...
Well, we're going to find out.

Dean, you
take the Benz.

I'll take that Honda.
You'll take that Honda?

Yeah, it's man
against machine.

Yeah, I'll fight.

I will destroy you.

Hey, hey,
hey, hey,

just wait
a sec.

You ready? Okay.

On your mark...

get set...

go!

19, 45...

6, 18.

All right I got
you, jailbait.

Maybe you need to
take your remedial typing class.

Just let me type,
man, just... Oh, that's right,

just let me... you dropped out of
school in fourth grade.

I went to junior
college, motherfucker.

How you doing over
there, Vinnie?

It's like
riding a bike...

all the way
back to prison.

He's in.

Yeah, yeah,
he's in, all right,

but he hasn't started
that fucking shit yet.

Maybe you should
go check the VIN again, numb nuts.

Come on, baby.

No! Fucking...
Nice.

That's it, I want a re-do.

- I want a re-do.
- No re-dos.

Larry, you can
take that Honda.

Oh sure, I'll get
right on that, Vince.

And, Dean, if you
can crack that Benz,

drive it to
the warehouse.

Man, who made
you boss, yo?

Kranski's
deal, man.

I open them,
I start them up,

but I don't drive
them, all right?

Here.

Where you going?

Getting the fuck
away from you guys.

Man, never mind.

Fuck him.

I got my best
guy back.

You got nothing
to worry about.

It'll be a
piece of cake.

Vince, there's a
case of Glenfiddich

in the storeroom.

Do you like
Glenfiddich? Yeah.

Yeah. Bring it out
to Mr. Mezali's car, will you?

This deal is good.
Very good.

Larry, where's
my old stuff?

What old stuff?

My stuff, man.

The stuff I was
doing out back.

Vince, you're not going
to start that shit up again, are you?

Oh, I had to
toss that, yo.

Look, man, I got some
old titty mags in the can

if you want to
blow off some steam.

Titty mags.
Thanks, man.

You know, five
years' practice,

I think I'm ready
for the real thing.

The boss don't like you

crowding up his
space, you know that.

Hey, we got to
do some work.

Pick up some Benzos.

You don't want to
end up in there.

Hey.

Hey, Vince.

What, do you live
here now? Look,

Kranski needs you
to go pick him up.

All right.
All right.

What, right now?
No, tomorrow morning, Einstein.

Take the Lincoln.

We drop him off,
you pick him up.

You better get
with the program, man,

it'll hurt less.

Here...

this is
the address.

Okay.

Okay.

Kristen, can
you hear me now?

Belinda...

For fuck's sake!

Belinda,
I can't hear you.

Hello?

Hello?

Well, can you find
a better signal?

Oh, sure, why don't
I just scale the fucking CN Tower?

So hard to find
a damn phone that works.

Be...

Belinda?

Oh, good God,
what the hell?

Hey!

Trying to get your
ass run over, lady? Don't you know

pedestrians have
the right of way,

you dipshit?
Oh yeah, oh yeah?

Oh yeah? Since when?
Since read the traffic book!

Oh, but you probably
can't read, can you?

Goddammit,
look at my car!

Oh yeah, that's just
the front bumper,

it's knocked loose.

That takes about
a half an hour labour, tops.

Give me your
information, tough guy.

You can fantasize
about slapping me around

when you're asking
people if they want fries with that.

Hello! Insurance!

License!
Yeah, yeah, about that.

Could we possibly
maybe do this one off the record?

Sure. No problem.
Good.

Is the number
for 911 still 9-1-1?

All right.

How about you take
this car to my shop,

I fix it up?

Then you can
drive off

like nothing
ever happened.

Why would I
do that?

Because, uh,
you know what?

I could drive
off right now.

And then what
would you do?

Take down your
license plate number.

All right.
How about I throw in

a couple of hundred
bucks for your time?

500, it's a deal.

Jesus!

Fine, all right.

Follow me.

Well, if I
were there,

I wouldn't be
here, Kristen!

No, you're going to
have to get your head

out of your armpit

and go down there
and make sure

they installed it
right, Kristen.

Kristen...
Yo, yo, miss!

Uh...

Don't... lady....

What is this?

It's none of
your business.

Seriously,
who made this?

Hey, don't do that.

Why, did you
steal it?

No. Uh...

It's mine,
I made it.

You made this?

Yeah. What's it
to you?

W... I mean, it's good.

Like, really,
really good.

Like, in an outsider
kind of way.

Outsider.

Outsider kind
of... insider.

I mean, this is
Red Foot and Klassen.

Now, Red Foot
shanked Klassen in the cafeteria.

Rumour had it

Klassen had ripped
off Red's meth so...

Are you talking
about prison?

Yeah.

Do a lot of people

get stabbed in the
eye where you work?

I work in
the art world.

People get stabbed
all the time,

just... usually
not in the eye.

I'm a gallerist.

Belinda. Bloome.

Guess that makes me
a guy-a-rist.

Cute.

Vince.

Your car.
Your car...

your car's ready.

So, Vince,

what were
you in for?

Gee,
Miss, uh, Bloome, uh,

none of your
business.

Think you got anymore
Red Foots in you?

That's not
really Red Foot and Klassen,

that's just... just
something I made.

I don't know
what it is.

I do.

You know, I'm hosting
a small opening

at OCAD
tomorrow night.

Some very interesting
conceptual pieces.

Well, a few might be
interesting, but...

if you'd like
to join us...

Open bar?

Just wine.

You have to bring
your own meth.

Oh, right,
almost forgot.

Um...
Oh, no, no.

Keep it,
forget it, forget it.

- Don't want it.
- Vincent!

If you think
phoning to say

that you got
waylaid satisfies...

Oh, you did
get waylaid.

Uh, so anyway, um...

come on by.
We'll talk.

John Kranski.

It's a pleasure
to meet you.

I'm sure it is.

Goodbye
to you too.

You been doing some
body work, huh?

Yeah.

Want a piece
of advice?

Yeah.

Women with
tiny breasts are better in bed.

Huh!
True!

I'll keep that
in mind.

Where you going?

Going to change
my socks.

What the fuck, man?

Oh, shit, son.

I'm sorry I didn't
see you there.

No diss, huh?

Yeah, sure,
no diss.

Sir, you can't
park there.

Careful you don't
scratch it, Dorian.

Why am I here?

There's nothing
to buy here.

Why'd she
bring me here?

Look at this shit.

It's like I'm not
here to buy...

Look, back up
from this. This is knitting.

I-I don't collect
knitting.

This is...
bullshit.

Man, times are hard
on the boulevard.

Kristen, why don't
you put down your Master's degree

and pick one
of these up?

Trays and drinks
aren't really my area of expertise.

Damn,

you have an area
of expertise?

You're good.

Thank you.

Oh, shit!

I mean... thank you.

Drink a lot
of those?

I... I wish.

It's... it's the heels.

You should try
a pair of these.

Makes your feet smell,
but, uh... very stable.

Good to know.

You know,
for my money,

this is the best
piece in the show.

Not that I
have any money.

Neither do I.

Are you an artist?

Oh, no.
No, no, no,

I'm just
looking around.

Hey, it'll mess you up
if I take two?

Are you kidding?
Take all of them.

Less to spill.

Thanks.

Thanks.

"Untitled".

"Untitled". I got
a title for you:

"Don't Sit Here".

When I met him

he was nothing more
than a taxidermist

and now the AGO
is clamouring for these.

I might as well be
selling Hummers.

There's not one
original voice.

It is like
it's all, uh...

the comic book
characters.

Oh!
God!

Look at my
fucking jacket!

You stupid...
Not with that.

- Get some club soda.
- I'm so sorry.

You stupid bitch.

I'm so sorry.
No, no, please. Just don't.

Please, get away
from me. Stop it.

I... I...

Excuse me.
Goddammit...

You know what?
What, what?

Who are you?
Some people say use club soda,

Hey, hey, hey!
but I say fight fire with fire.

Get the... Hey,
Get away from me!

Get your hands off me!
You know what?

You should apologize
to the girl.

You shouldn't call
her a stupid bitch!

I didn't! I called
him a stupid bitch!

I didn't call her a stupid...
Who's the stupid bitch?

Vince, let go!
He didn't call me a stupid bitch.

Let go, Vince!
Let go.

You shouldn't
call anybody a stupid bitch.

Julie, I am so,
so sorry.

Hey, Gremlin,
time to go.

What, not one last drink?
No.

Do your thing, man.

Julie, I'm so sorry,

but I am so glad
that you met him.

Do not let him go.

- Him, who?
- Vince.

Uh... oh.

Go. Oh!
Go. Go.

What do I do with that?
Julie, listen.

I have to show
you something.

You're going
to love this.

He is a massive talent.
I can't put my jacket...

His work is raw

and he is fresh
out of prison.

Like, make it,
uh, big.

Ow, man.

Okay, you earned
your pay.

You can let me
go now, Dorian.

Come on, I let you
look good in there.

You let me
look good?

I know it hurts
like shit.

Don't fight it, man,

just try and breathe.

You're going
to be okay.

Vince!
Hope you didn't scratch my car.

Wait! Hello.

Hi. I'm Kristen,
Belinda's assistant.

Hey, Kristen,
Belinda's Assistant.

Sorry about the mess.

Oh no, really,
Uh, not a problem.

If we could
just go back...

inside, that'd...
would be great.

Give me
all your money

or you're
fucking dead.

I had you shitting
your pants, son.

You're fucking
hilarious, Dean.

Check out my
new knife, man.

It's a SWAT, special
tactical, man.

I got a bigger
one at home,

but this is
my new baby.

Yeah, that...
See that?

That's real nice, man.

Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah.

The streets
are a lot safer

with you on them, man.
That's right.

Hey, junk man.

Here.

Don't ever say
I never gave you nothing.

What's this for?

That's your cut.

Cut for what?

Well, you know,
that gay shit you got in the back.

Some blond chick
came by to pick it up

with a guy
in a big truck.

I got to
tell you, man,

that... thing, it
was fucking heavy.

Yo, Vince,

you bonin' that chick, man?

Man, she's pretty, eh?

I just want to brush
her hair and shit.

Ah, fuck.

She got the...

with the...
and the...

Fuck, dude.

Yo, fuck you, man!

Hey, where you going?
We got a run to do.

For the Mezalis!

Hey, I've got
to call you back.

Where is she?
She in there?

No, she's in a...
Hey, wait!

Come back!
I wouldn't go...

in... there.

Well, don't keep us
in suspense.

Do you like
a Brazilian or a Full Monty?

Where is it?

Took two men
to get it here.

You're lucky
you're not a man,

'cause you know what,
you'd be dead right now.

Well, thank God
I'm presenting evidence to the contrary.

You stole this.

I sold it.

Sold it?

Kristen, go get
Vince's cheque.

Fact is, an important collector
just bought it.

He saw that photo of
Red Cat and whatever

and just got all pant, pant, pant,
"Got to have it."

Kristen!

Let me get this straight.
You... got...

you got somebody to give
you money for this thing?

How much you
sell it for?

Fifteen.

Hundred?

Thousand.

For what, for that?

Yeah.

I just made you
a lot of money.

This is for six.

Bloome Gallery
takes 60%.

Without me, you're nothing more
than an ex-con

banging away at a bunch
of rusty old car parts in a low-end garage.

So, why were you
in prison?

Grand theft auto.

Really?
Yeah.

Stole a few cars.

Got mixed up
in some stuff, you know.

Huh.

Not so sexy.

Okay, let's see,
you're...

an emerging artist

with a shady
criminal past.

Very temperamental.

You did time
for a crime

you don't like
to talk about.

And you learned it all
in C Block.

C Block was for
child molesters.

D Block, whatever.
It doesn't matter.

The point is, it's all
in how you sell it.

Art is whatever
people say it is.

Or what other people
tell them it is.

It can't be
that easy. It isn't.

That's why
we're here.

To promote you
so you can create

and we can
all get rich.

How many more rich collector
friends you got?

How fast
do you work?

Pretty fast.
Great.

You work fast,
I'll sell fast.

You can expect to
triple your take.

Just don't
break any laws.

Kristen will work
on your schedule with you.

Oh, Vince,

you didn't tell me
how it looks.

Looks like you're
giving birth to Hitler.

Carmella-a-a!

Can I possibly
get this in cash?

Trouble
with the banks?

I can make it out to
cash if that's easier.

No. I can wait.

Oh, hey,

can I get your number?

She's a pit bull,

but she knows
what she's doing.

Pit bulls
are sweeter.

Are you going
to be up to this?

Uh-huh.

Because it's going to
get harder and harder

and you're going
to have to do it

again and again

and again. And...

What?

Did we stray
off topic here?

N... no, no.

I'm just trying
to say that you...

I get it.

Can I get
your number?

I don't date artists.

Who said
I'm an artist?

Strictly business.

Ow-w-w-w!

Strictly business.

Right.

Right.

What are you
doing here?

I must have
just passed out.

Doing your crap.
Yep.

It's not crap,
it's working. Ha!

Go get yourself
cleaned up.

I'll take you
out to breakfast.

Then I got to go meet
my parole officer.

These cards suck.

Don't they always.

Hurry up,
I'm starving.

Any pay stubs
for me yet?

Uh, no, you know,

I'm still waiting
for my first cheque.

You know,
they hold them.

Yeah, they do that.

Body work, right?
Yeah, body work.

Hey, I, uh...

I got that extra
pair of socks.

You know, I put them
on in the afternoon

and I... I felt like
a million bucks.

That's great.
Yeah.

I'm going to
need some pee.

Where?

In here.

So how's your boss?

He's fine,
I guess.

No, I mean, like,
how is he to work for?

Independent,
franchise,

what's the story?

Mr. Pogue...
Mmm-hmm.

I can't do this.

What? I can't pee in
this jar right now.

All right.

Nervous
bladder, huh?

Now listen to me, okay?

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.
I saw this on TV.

Focus.

Think relaxing
thoughts.

Let all the
tension and stress

flow through your body.

Take everything

and stream it
through

into the central
sprinkler system

that God has
given you.

Direct it
to the penis

and let it go.

Huh? What'd
I tell you?

Easy peasy.

Ooh...

Cheers.

I'm here to help
you, you know.

If there's anything you ever want to
talk to me about...

I mean, anything.

You know, sometimes
the pressure to backslide

can be very strong.

Yeah. You don't have to
worry about me, Mr. Pogue.

Hey... Hey!

That's my car! Hey!

Yeah.

Tonight?

Strictly business, right?

What do you think?

What am I
doing here?

Belinda wanted
you to come.

She's around
here somewhere.

Hey, you sell
my new thing yet?

Oh, fuck.

I thought
you liked it.

No, not that,
it's...

...him, my ex
and his arm candy.

He's the reason
I don't date artists.

Kristen.
Hey, Carl.

This is Daphne,

my fianc?e.
Hey,

how are you?

Fianc?e? Wow!

Uh, congratulations.

- Thank you.
- Vince, this is Carl.

Carl was the hit
at the Art Frise

two years ago.
Yeah, last summer.

Vince, here is
also an artist.

Oh, yeah?
What do you do, Vince?

Vincent.

Vincent, Vincent.

Uh, I do...
I do...

It's easier
if I show you what I do.

Oh!

Mmmm...

Hey... Okay,
all right.

Oh...

Oh, come here.
Ah!

Oh-h-h...

Carl, me,
I'm sorry,

but you know,
my life...

my life is my art.

I cannot
control myself.

Mmm! Mmm!

- Mmm! Mmm...
- Hey,

well done,
Kristen.

Whatever the fuck
you're into now.

Did you see the look
on Carl's face?

You should have seen
the look on yours.

Thank you for
doing that.

And where did
you learn such French, Monsieur?

I had a cellmate
from Chicoutimi.

So who's the
better kisser?

You mean between
the two of them?

No, between
the three of us.

I'd have to give
that to Carl.

Oh, well, then
things have changed

because he wasn't
that good before.

Maybe we should
have a run-off

before I award
the best prize.

I've got to...
I've got to go.

Hey...

I thought we were
just kidding around.

I-I... I didn't...
I didn't mean...

Oh, God.
Excuse me.

Excuse me. Vince!
There you are.

Would you please
come up here?

There's someone
I want you to meet.

Who am I meeting?

Vince, you
remember Julian?

The important
collector

who bought
your piece?

He bought my piece?

Come here, you
fucking genius, you.

No, y...
you come here,

you man of
wealth and taste.

Ah, I...
I love your piece.

I love it.
Good.

I love that
you love it.

Yeah, come,
come, come, come.

You and I, uh,
we have a long...

No, no, no,
you come,

you come
sit with me.

We have a...
a long relationship,

you and I, artist and collector.
Mm-hmm.

And I want to talk to you, uh,
about a commission.

Commission?

- What's a commission?
- I-I want you

to create a piece
for me, personally.

How much we
talking here?

Oh, no, no, you
don't have to worry about that.

You let me
worry about that.

Huh.
He's new at this.

No, that's... that's
good, I like it.

He's direct,
I like that.

Listen, you tell
me what you want,

I'll make it. Fantastic.
That's, uh...

We'll set up
a meeting,

discuss the aesthetic parameters
and that's that.

That's it. That's it?
That's it.

You're very talented.
Hey...

Thank you.

Come by later
and get your cash.

Very talented.

Yes, he is.

Congratulations.

Congratulations to you.
Yeah.

If you're listening to this,

I'm either working or
I ran away from home.

Leave a message. Bye.

Belinda?

In here.

You got
a nice place.

See anything you like?

You got a lot
of stuff, uh...

Cool stuff, I guess.

Don't guess.

Be a mystery.

I can do that.

Uh, you got my cash?

Boy, you just get right down to the
point, don't you?

Well, you know,
five years in jail,

not much time
left to waste.

It's a real coup,
you know,

Julian commissioning
a piece.

Good.

How much?

All in good
time, Vince.

Come here.

Let me show
you something.

Hitler?

Is that you?

No, no, these,
actually.

I thought you'd
like them.

So listen...

You want to know
how much you're worth.

You know I don't
like you, right?

Right.
Okay.

How long
has it been?

You mean
with girls?

Ambiguity
is so hot.

Oh-h-h!

Shhhh!

All right, shhh!

Oh, God!

Fucking hell.

You all right?

You sleep with
all your artists?

Sleep?

You doze off in
the middle there?

I'm glad to hear you're calling
yourself an artist.

I'll be right back.

Hey, it's Kristen.
I think you called.

Sorry I... I ran out
like that tonight.

I just couldn't handle seeing Carl
and his perky fianc?e.

But, uh, anyway,

hope you made out okay
with Belinda

and I will see you
tomorrow morning at the gallery.

Okay, bye.

Keep it up, Vince.

There's a lot more
where that came from.

Hey!

- What the fuck!
- Get in the car.

You're crazy.

Get in the car.
No, you know what?

I think I'm
safer walking.

Not with your head
down, you're not.

I give you
a job to do

and you're strutting
around town

like some kind
of gigolo.

Gigolo?

That's an idea.

Don't you play
smart with me.

I'm working on
paying you off.

What else do you want?

I want you on the job.

I need you sharp

or I don't need
you at all.

Clear?

Crystal.

Hey.

You called?

You called.

After you.

Yep.

So how'd it go
last night?

Belinda said
you were amazing.

Sealing the deal
with Julian.

Right. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it went fine.

What are you doing?

Blowing.

It's part of my job.

Wow, you do that
very well.

Well, are you
ready to go?

Yeah.

This whole
shopping idea

was Belinda's,
by the way.

Why do you
put up with her?

Why do you?

Money. Fame.

Chicks.

Me too.

I've never been
to a museum before.

Really? I think
you'll really like it.

How old?
When I stole my first car?

13.
13? Wow.

Yeah, I... I brought it
right back, though.

Why?
Why did I bring it back?

No, why did
you steal it?

Oh, I just wanted
to go for a joy ride.

How old were you when you stopped
bringing them back?

15. Then I'd bring them up to
this huge field

and there were
so many of them

it became like
a parking lot.

Then this guy
found out about it,

wanted to buy them.

so I sold them
all to him.

Took me under
his wing,

it became
what I did.

I was really
good at it.

You're good at other
things, you know. Hmm.

I want something
large for right...

right here.

I'll show you, here.

Julian's piece...

I want 60-40.

Well, that's the quickest I've
ever been fucked.

I doubt it.

50-50.

I can live with it.

God, you scared
the shit out of me.

Come on.

What are we doing?

A little tour.

I want to talk to you.

Hey!

You just ran
that light!

Yeah, it's a game I play.

Red light, green light.

Every red light's green.

And the green lights?

Uh, they're green too.

Keeps me sharp.

Hmm. That's good.

You know the key
to the game,

the only thing you
have to consider?

Where the nearest
hospital is.

Heh, funny.

No, the reaction time
of the other drivers.

You just watch them.

Look!

Hey!

Get a life!

Come on,
could we just

play old-fashioned
red light, green light

till I get out
of the car?

Hey,

did you ever look
at this whole area?

Take a look at it.

It's mine.

After this deal
with Mezali,

that's it, I'm out.

So who am I going to get
to administer things?

I thought Larry
was your man.

No, Larry?

No, this needs
somebody smart

to keep it
profitable.

You.

You're my heir apparent.

Soon as you pay off
your debt,

the keys to this
kingdom are yours.

I'm glad we had
this little chat.

Where can I drop you?

Hey, you know what?
I'll tell you what,

I'll buy you
a drink.

No, that's okay, Mr. K.

It's a little early
in the day for me.

No, I insist.

We'll celebrate.

Kiss my ass!

How's it going, Pete?
Hey.

Heya, buddy.

Some guy's in there,
he brought his car in.

Yeah? So? What's
the problem?

He wants you
to fix it.

Yeah, man,
we ain't, like,

sir-fix...
fix-a-lots, yo.

Smells like
a cop, Vince.

Why would
a cop be here?

Why would a cop
be here, man?

Mr. Pogue.

Hey, Vince!

How you doing?

Doing fine.

Hey, listen,
I got this, uh,

squealing
in my engine

and I figured,
what better place to take it to

than the shop
you work at.

Yeah, uh, well,

we just do body work,
so better not.

Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, yeah.

Oh, hey, you think
I can get some pee from you?

Oh, yeah.

Listen, I'll
take a look,

see what I can do.

Nice touch.

Uh-huh.

So how's things
going in here?

Ah, well, you know,
it's a little slow

with the recession
and all, but, uh...

Hey, it's hitting
everybody, you know.

You want to...
you want to get in

and start it
up there, sir?

Oh yeah, sure.
No problem.

You got the magic touch.

Hey, hey.

Just, uh...

just a fan belt,
you know?

No charge.

No charge?
No charge, no...

No pee,
no charge.

Gotta pee.
No, please.

It's just,
the guys are here,

it's kind of
embarrassing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
No problem.

Thank you.
Hey, where's your boss?

I need to talk to
him for a minute.

He's at the lake.

He's a fisherman.

You know, just a...

and actually, he doesn't come around
here all that much.

He's... he's
hard to catch.

Hey, hard to catch
and he's a fisherman.

Yeah. Go figure.
Funny.

I guess I'll give him
a phone call or something?

Yeah. You do that.

Yeah. Good idea, that'd...
that'd be great.

All right, I'm going
to get out of your hair.

Hey, thanks for that.

You're welcome.
You're good.

Thanks a lot.

You keep your nose clean.

I'm watching you.

It's for your
own good, Vince.

See you.

Yo!

What the fuck
was that?

Uh, that was, uh,
that was Joe, okay?

He was my
bitch in jail.

Joe the bitch
in jail?

Joe the bitch.

Joe the bitch

does not
take his car

to a fucking place...
Shut the fuck up!

We got work to do.

You're both a
couple of bitches.

Go to work.

Look at that.

Those Mezalis
motherfuckers,

they love those cars.

Whatever. Let me out.

Get that shit, son.

Come on, man,
give me the phone.

All right,
let's do this.

Wait a second.

Yo, where...
where you going, man?

Yo, what are you doing
with that thing, man?

I don't want that shit in my car, yo!
Shut the fuck up, Dean.

What are we,
garbage men?

Come on, man!

Fuck!

Key.
Yeah, here you go,

you garbage-picking
motherfucker.

It doesn't work.
Well, try it again,

the numbers match.

It doesn't work, Dean.

Here, the
window's open.

Come on, Vince.
Cops, cops, cops!

Shut up.
Go!

Vince. Hello, yeah.
You're good.

You need a drink
or something?

Nah, I'm all right.

Great car.

Yeah, it's just my
favourite yellow car.

Yeah.

Let me...
Let me ask you something.

It's a... personal
question, okay?

Have you ever
killed someone?

No, no, no.

I see that
in your work.

So you like it?

So, how
we feeling?

I love
this piece.

Well, I think
it's disingenuous.

India.

India, this is Vince.

Vince, India Montkieff,
my wife.

Vince. India's a curator
at the Tate, Vince.

Yeah, I asked her
to fly in from London

to see your work.

How do you say
"disingenuous"?

This piece is fantastic.

No, no, his first
piece I love,

but this one
is derivative.

Derivative?

What do you mean
"derivative"?

This is beautiful.
I love this piece.

Well, if he doesn't
hear it from me

he'll hear it
from someone else.

I was just trying to
give your husband here

what he asked for.

Pandering.

Yes, that's the word
I was looking for.

Julian, this... this
piece just marinates

in its eagerness
to please you.

Are you done?
Vince...

'Cause I'm done.

Um, you don't want it,
you don't keep it.

That's not
what I'm saying,

that's what
she's saying.

This is my piece.
I love this piece.

Vince, she's
only one voice.

Yeah, well, she's...
maybe right.

I've been
looking for you.

Why didn't
you tell me?

These wonderful people

celebrating you
and your art.

I'm sorry,
you are?

John Kranski.

Who the hell
is that guy?

I'm his mentor.

I was the first
to recognize his...

extraordinary
talent.

So, you have some
of his pieces, yeah?

Oh, I do indeed,
plenty of them.

His early work,
no doubt.

- Yeah.
- So you have

collected his pieces
since before...

He did his
stretch inside?

I've owned Vince

for a very
long time.

Mr. K., I was
on my way out.

You coming?

Yeah, if you ever
need any body work done

on your Spider,
give me a call.

Vince has
my number.

Ms. Bloome.

Fucking hell, man!

"Ex-con...

muscles his way
into the art world."

Nice write-up.

I hate it when you
hide shit from me.

It makes me very,
very angry.

The two of you
get out of here.

What the fuck was
that back there?

I'm selling my stuff.

Your stuff?

What the fuck are
you talking about?

That's my stuff.
It's mine. It's all mine.

Whatever comes
out of here

in whatever shape
it's in, is mine.

Listen, I'm just trying
to pay you back.

All right?
All the money I make,

and however I make it,
it's all yours.

You got money and
you're keeping it secret from me?

That's stealing
it from me!

All the money is yours.

I promise.

Yeah...

you promise.

Of course, you promise.
Why wouldn't you promise?

You're a crook.

I'm an artist.

What did you say?

You heard me.

Yeah, I fucking
heard you.

You're a thief.

Say it.
Say you're a thief!

I'm an artist.

Thief!

Artist.
Thief...

you fuck.

Thief!

Hey, artist,
Jesus Christ...

which ear?

Huh? What do you
mean which ear?

Van Gogh!

Vincent Van-fucking-Gogh.

Left ear, right?
Left ear?

You're a thief.

You're never going to
steal from me again.

Say it.

Say it.
I'm an artist!

You're a thief!

Oh, no...!

Turn it off.

Larry.

Out back in my cassette
box, there's money.

What I'm really doing,
what I'm trying to do

is educate you.

Yeah, looky, looky.

Hey.

Take some of that
right there.

Leave it.
Come on.

How's the old man
going to know if it's short?

That's your genius plan?
How's he going to know?

Yeah. I mean...

yeah.
Kranski's in there

going helter skelter
with Vince, who he loves,

what do you think
he's going to do to you?

Come on, man, let's just
take a couple of gees.

He'll never notice.
Just relax, okay.

There's going to be
a pay day soon

with the Mezali
deal going down,

we got to pick
our moment.

Yeah, we, uh, got
something here, Mr. K.

33,000.
33.

And with my cut
on the cars,

I figure I still
owe you 140.

That'll square us.

Yeah.

Untie him.

Eww...

What's it
look like?

It looks like
a Yorkshire pudding.

What's a Yorkshire
pudding look like?

Look in the
mirror, man.

Oooh, nasty.

My God, what
happened to you?

Did you get
in a fight?

Please, come in.

Thanks.

This might hurt.

How did this happen?

I dozed off welding.

Really?

That, uh,
Kranski guy is...

He's my boss.

Well, what was he
doing at Julian's?

That was
just... weird.

He wants to share
in my success.

You did those?

Yeah.

What do you think?

I think
they're good.

Well, I am
just good enough

to know that
I'm not good enough.

Hey...
But it's fine.

And I like
doing it.

Anyway, I think
really good artists

are egocentric assholes.

Oh, thanks.
And vain enough

to think I was
talking about you.

You all right?

Yeah.

You know
when I was inside,

I used to think about
when I'd get out,

and how I'd do
things different.

You know, I mean,

not do things the same
way I used to do them.

But here I am, back the way
I started.

Hey, want
to take off

and just jump
in my car and...

start new lives?

You'll work
as a cashier,

I'll work
in a factory.

And we could live
in a trailer park

and have, like,
six Pomeranians.

Those are
dogs, right?

But, hey, it's not
that bad, you know.

India chose you

to create
the centrepiece at Art Frise.

Yeah? What's that?

It's a big group
show next week.

Huge artists
from all over,

including her
new discoveries.

It's major.

I can't.

This could take you
to a whole new level

if... that's
what you want.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I got it all
worked out.

We fill the order
in one night, okay?

There's going to
be over 100 cars at this event.

We can have
our pick.

We're going to need
a bigger crew.

We're going to need
to move the cars fast,

but there's
a huge upside.

We do this right,

they give us the keys,

they don't report
their cars missing

for two, three hours.

Yeah, and we can
exceed the order.

Huh...

I-it's...
it's perfect.

Oh, yeah.

How do we take
the valet stand?

I'll set it up.

Yo, I don't
know nothing

about being
no valet, man.

Yeah, this is,
uh, beneath us.

I hate to burst
your bubble, guys,

but, uh, there's
not much beneath us.

Yeah, except
maybe my dick.

This scheme is
really something.

Thank you.
What?

The scheme is...
I'm just joking.

My ear's fine.

And by the
way, this,

it, uh, got
my head straight.

Good.
Yeah.

No seriously,
Mr. K.,

thank you.

Okay, thank you.

You can send
this one.

Uh-huh,
no problem.

Kristen told me
about this big art show.

I want in.

What happened
to your ear?

Burned myself welding.

Bullshit!

Whatever it is
you're into,

I want nothing
to do with it.

I don't get involved
with criminals.

Oh, I never should
have let you fuck me.

What?

I-I'm working on
this new piece.

It's a large piece.

I think you'll
like it.

If it sells at
this show, it's...

it's all yours.

This is your last chance.

Okay.

So is Carl better
than Belinda?

Come on.

No, you come on.

I'm a big girl.

It didn't
mean anything.

Oh well,

it's really not
any of my business.

Listen, it
was a mistake.

I'm done making
mistakes.

Good for you.

Strictly business.

Hey.

How's it going?

Just threw some
shit together.

It's cover, they won't
know the difference.

This thing tonight,
it'll square us?

Yeah.

I want you to
know, I mean,

we should talk in private,
in more detail...

but I considered it,
what you suggested.

Thank you.

You know, this
is... this place,

it's, uh...

it's kind of
a creation, you know?

My work, you know,
my life.

I've been thinking...

Me too, a lot.

I couldn't entrust
this place

to anybody else
but you.

Hey.

It's the weirdest
feeling.

Yeah.

Yo, Larry.

What?

We do him tonight.

In the middle of the job?
Mmm-hmm.

Put a bag over his head,
slit his throat,

put him in one
of the cars.

They won't find him
till the boat gets to Borat-ville.

'Cause there's
no fucking way

I'm working
for an art fag.

So you with me?

Yeah, sure, I...
I'll back you up.

That's good,

'cause I thought I was going to have
to do you too.

Funny guy.

Tracey, two
more bottles !

When did this
get here?

Where the hell
is Vince?

After all the strings
I've pulled for him!

What strings?
I thought India invited him.

Shut up.

Go outside and
look for him.

Look at that.

Guys, all right,

here are the
claim checks.

They pull up, you give
it to them, all right?

You drive the cars
around the corner,

come back,
you do it again.

What about
the keys?

You leave them
inside the car.

And smile for the
nice people, okay?

Yeah, act civilized.

I'm going to go
play artist now.

And cute uniforms.

Faggot.

Oh, hi, there.

Get inside,
funny man.

Sweet.

When did you
figure us out?

Uh, let's see...

white van
wherever I go,

you and me always
meeting out somewhere,

never in
the office.

I called Parole Services.

They never heard
of a Randall Pogue.

It's too bad
you and your pals

will all be
in jail tonight.

I don't know about that.
Really?

I've got enough stuff
on tape to write a book.

Not without my help.

'Cause if I don't
go back out there

and I tell those guys
that everything's cool,

this scam is off

and you don't
get anybody.

You know
we can make you.

Now what are you
going to do?

Are you going to
burn my other ear?

So what do you
want, Vince?

I want
what you want.

You know, I want to put
bad guys in jail.

But I want freedom,
I want immunity.

I mean, whatever you
call it... for me.

This only works
if we get them all,

and that includes
Kranski.

It's time to figure out
whose side you're on.

Where are
you going?

I'll see you
at the docks.

Okay, thanks, guys.
Thanks.

Thank you.

Vince!

Oh, fuck.

What the hell
is going on?

Here for
my unveiling!

I just saw you steal
a catering van.

What are you doing?

You have to trust me.

Do I?

Yeah.

Listen, it's all
going to be okay, all right.

This is, uh,
this is it.

This is my way out.

Is it legal?
Uh...

not exactly,

but, uh, I know
what I'm doing.

I know this doesn't
make sense to you,

but it will.

Please,

cover for me,
okay?

Where is he?

Every critic in
the city is here

and they're staring
at a fucking tarp.

Can't you do
anything right?

Actually, I can.

And don't ever talk
to me like that again.

Excuse me?

I said, don't ever fucking
talk to me like that again.

Is that clear?

Crystal clear.

You're fired.

Hmm.

Hey, man,
it's getting late,

is that it or what?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

we got all
the cars we need.

All right, I'll ride
with you then, son.

All right, uh,

I'll, uh,
I'll take this one.

All right,
all right.

Come on,
let's go, boys.

You know what, Dean?
One last car.

You take that car.
What the fuck?

Okay? Come on,
Miss Daisy. Hilarious.

Vince!

Vince!

I see him.

He must be the
last of the cars.

We don't move until the money
changes hands.

So? Hey.
What'd I tell you?

He's a genius,
my boy.

It's all in there.

You don't have
to count it.

I'll count it
in the car.

You guys are good.

Oh yeah.

Lucky you made it,

just in time
to leave tonight.

We are now a go.

I repeat,
we are a go.

Shit!

Get Mezali!

Fan out!

Find Kranski!

Vince, you're supposed
to be an ex-criminal, you moron.

Ugh! Goddammit!

Come here. Oh God!
Shut up, shut up!

Watch the face.

You're that
art chick

that Vince has
been ballin'.

Where is he?

Come here,
I'll show you.

Come on,
art lady.

Put your
head down.

Hey.

Where are you?

In some warehouse

down by the docks.

It's full of steel.

Yeah, I'm in...
I'm in the same place.

Yell out.

Hey...

Vince, you in here?
Belinda?

I'm not alone.

Nice curves
on the lady, son.

Wouldn't want
to slice any off.

Come on, we
can share her.

Yo, where you
at, Vince?

Dean, are you nuts?

Let her go.

Yo, you got
the money, boss?

Get out of here.

Where's the money?

Oh! Oh!

Ow!

- Oh!
- Ugh!

Get out of here. Go!

Right in my ass.

Oh, it hurts.

You got a gun?
Yeah.

You haven't had
a gun since Korea.

It's the same one.

Mr. K., don't
shoot, it's me.

Can you get us
out of here?

Yeah, yeah, I got a...
I got a car.

Just wait here, okay,
I'll go get it.

Larry! No!

Son of a bitch!

Grab his gun.

Mr. K.

My leg.

I'm bleeding
like a stuck pig.

Let me see.

He hit one...

hit one, for
Christ sakes.

This was you, huh?

You're going to be fine.
I'm fucked.

Oh! This tight enough?
Yeah.

I had it coming
anyway.

You got yourself
free, kid.

You're on your way.

Yeah.

Vince, the show.

Get yourself
to the show.

Get the hell out of here.
Can you walk?

No, I can't walk.

No, take the
briefcase,

get me a good lawyer.

The best,
I promise you. Okay.

See you.

Sure.

He's in here!

It's really quite
young and vibrant...

I don't see it,
don't see it, don't...

I don't feel anything.
'Cause you're not listening to it.

I don't...
You have to listen to it, darling.

Look, now, it's
Vince, Vince.

Look, now, he
has the style.

He's fantastic.

Vince is an accident
on purpose.

This is it, Vince.

Hey, um...

hello.

Thanks for coming.

A little while ago,

I ran into someone
who called me an artist.

I didn't even know
what the word meant.

I'm not quite
sure I do now.

I'm just a guy
off the streets.

I just got
out of prison.

Part of the reason why some
of you are interested in me.

I never set out
to be an artist,

I just did what I did
for myself.

I'd take pieces of
metal scrap home,

whatever I could find,
and I would, uh,

I'd go to war with them.

I'd fight them,
I'd bang them together

until they'd turn
into something.

What, I don't know,
but just something.

What I did know was that

it probably was a better
way to spend my time

than to steal cars
and run away from cops.

This last piece, um...

I almost didn't make
this last piece.

I'd made so many
compromises

that I started to forget
what I was doing

and who I was
doing it for.

This is me,

without apologies,

no secrets, no lies,
no compromise.

How does a guy like me
end up in a place like this?

You think about that

while you're waiting at
the valet for your car,

'cause it might
take a while.

Enjoy the show.

Vince,

I... I love...

I love this...
I love this piece.

I don't... I don't
want to embarrass you,

but I want to have
a relationship with this piece.

It's really
quite good.

Thank you. It's going to
take a big room.

I think... Shouldn't be
a problem, Julian.

I like it, I like how it moves...
I, uh...

I wanted to talk
about our arrangement.

Go on.
60-40.

You're already
getting 50. 60.

And this?

No, I've got to
give that back.

60-40. It would be
setting a ludicrous precedent.

Well, you take it
or leave it.

You've come a long
way, Vincent.

I've been
looking for you.

Mr. Pogue, uh, can I
get you something,

like, uh, champagne,
pee in a cup?

Where's the money?

Kranski?
Kranski's fine.

He can enjoy a nice
long retirement.

Seriously?

Detective Pogue,
Belinda.

Belinda,
Detective Pogue.

Uh, Detective Pogue is
here for the briefcase.

What briefcase?

That briefcase.

Oh! That.

I'll talk to
you later.
Sure.

I'd like to go
over a few things with you, Ms...?

Belinda.
Ms. Belinda.

So what do
you think?

It's okay.

It's okay.

So.
So?

You're going to
have to forgive me

for all the stupid
things I've done.

Maybe.

You're going to eventually,
you know that.

Why not now?

What about Belinda?

This?

Oh, I don't know
how that got there.

You should be more
careful with these types of things.

I'm going to
kiss you now.

And then we're going
to get the fuck out of here, okay?

Pomeranians?

As many
as you want.

Who's the
better kisser?

Come here, you.