The Christmas Wife (1988) - full transcript
A widower not wanting to face his first Christmas alone responds to an ad for "social introductions".
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIRENS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-How you doing, Mr. Tanner?
Some more coffee?
-Oh thank you, Dora.
That'll be fine.
-How's that son of yours?
Still living out west?
-Well, I'll be seeing
him at Christmas.
They always come
east for Christmas.
-Oh, that's nice.
Christmas is the
time for the family.
-Yeah, that's what they say.
-Well, especially now that--
-As you say, Dora.
Especially now.
-How about a piece
of pumpkin pie?
-The Thanksgiving special.
Why not?
[CHILDREN PLAYING]
-Hey, hey!
[CHILDREN PLAYING]
[TAPE REWINDING]
JIM (ON TAPE): Hi Dad.
It's your son.
Just called to say happy
Thanksgiving and the rest.
Give us a call, OK?
[BEEP]
[DIALING PHONE]
[PHONE RINGING]
-Hello Jim!
-Hi Dad!
Happy Thanksgiving.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Thanks.
-Uh, we tried to
ring you earlier.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, yeah.
I know, I got the message.
I just walked in.
-Well, that's good.
Uh, I mean that you were out.
No good sitting around alone.
-Yeah.
Uh, how are Micki and the boys?
JIM (ON PHONE): Fine.
Everyone's fine.
Uh, listen Dad, I've been
thinking about Christmas.
-Uh look, tell the boys
that I can't promise snow,
but we'll try.
-Yes, well Dad, that's
what Micki and I
wanted to talk to you about.
-Uh, just tell me
which flight and I'll
meet you at the airport.
I don't mind telling
you I'm really
looking forward to
seeing you, Jim.
JIM (ON PHONE): Yeah.
Look Dad, I think it's going
to be difficult this year.
I mean, well, there
are four of us.
And now that Mother's
gone-- what I mean is,
we want you to come
to us this year.
-Well, we've uh, always
spent Christmas at the cabin.
Always.
-Yes, I know.
But it, it wouldn't be
the same now anyway.
And one plane ticket makes a
lot more sense than buying four.
-Oh well, I'll get the tickets.
JIM (ON PHONE): Dad,
you're alone now.
There's no family there.
It's not practical, Dad.
Look, don't decide anything now.
I, I know this is not
the easiest time for you.
Especially the first year.
Everyone agrees
it's the hardest.
-You needn't worry about me.
I'm doing fine.
Just fine.
-Well, think about
coming out, OK?
Everything can't always
be the same, Dad.
-Well, let's talk on Sunday.
Love to Micki and the boys.
Well, what are you doing
for Christmas, Harry?
HARRY (OFFSCREEN):
All right, all right.
What have we got here?
Uh, I guess we'll uh, go down
to Mike's place in Virginia,
see the children.
Usually do.
-Yeah well, Stella and I are
gonna get away from it all.
We paid our dues, now we
take the cruise. [LAUGHS]
-I'm in for five.
-How about you, John?
Back to the mountains?
-Back to the mountains.
I love that place.
-Too lonesome for me.
I can't hear traffic,
I don't sleep.
-You want to go back
to the cabin, John?
All those memories?
-[SIGHS] I like the memories.
-I'm not saying you
have to forget her.
I'm just saying life goes on.
-You want to be on your
own up there, John?
-No.
I don't want to be on my own.
[DOG BARKING]
[SIRENS]
-Hmm.
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER (ON
TV): At four minutes
left in the third quarter,
Arizona at their own 35,
trailing 21-17.
Johnson split left,
Bradshaw split right.
Landry's going to throw.
Over the middle.
It's Abe Clark.
He's wide open
into LA territory.
Down the sideline,
out of bounds.
Outstanding play by
the Arizona offense
just throwing underneath
the LA back field.
[PHONE RINGING]
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER (ON
TV): Fine play, indeed.
Abe Clark coming out
of the backfield.
SOCIAL ARRANGER
(ON TAPE): Hello.
This is Alone
Again Incorporated.
We're not here right
now, but why not
call again tomorrow or
stop by to talk with us?
The address is 749 and
1/2 Clinton Street.
And remember, you're
not the only one.
[BEEP]
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER (ON
TV): Watch this block here
by Trumaine Johnson to
spring Abe Clark free.
Down to the 20 yard
line, the LA express.
First and 10.
-749 and 1/2 Clinton Street.
-Are you the Social Arranger?
-At your service.
At your service.
-Yes.
Uh, the scope of your service?
Your ad is intriguing,
but a little unclear.
-It's very clear.
We make social
arrangements of all kinds.
-Oh, splendid.
[CHUCKLES] Well, perhaps
I can rely on you.
-We're very discreet.
-Oh, I assure you, there's
no call for discretion.
-Your name, Mr. uh?
-Tanner.
John Tanner.
SOCIAL ARRANGER
(OFFSCREEN): Daytime phone?
Just for the files.
-Oh!
834-9224.
-[SIGHS]
-I live alone.
My wife is dead.
Christmas has
become-- well, what
I require is a
Christmas companion.
A lady of my own age or younger.
-Uh huh.
-But preferably of my own age.
-Yeah.
Just for dinner or
for the evening?
-Well, Christmas is
on Saturday this year.
Actually, I'd prefer the
lady for the weekend.
-Just what kind of company
did you have in mind?
-I want it clearly understood
that the bedrooms are separate.
Just social company.
-Social company.
Right.
-Is there a difficulty?
-No,no, no.
No.
I'm sure we can
sort something out.
It's uh, it's just
Christmas, you see.
People do tend to get
booked up over Christmas.
-Well, I'm sure you have
someone in your files
who lives alone
who would welcome
a pleasant holiday with
no strings attached.
-My uh, secretary at the
moment is out with the flu.
An inconvenience.
Your request is reasonable.
We'll consult our other files.
There is however, the
matter of the fee.
-How much do you charge?
-Have you ever done this before?
-Never.
-Prices do vary.
-Mm.
They would.
-For the weekend,
for Christmas, $500?
-$500?
-Would you like a cup of coffee?
-I'm afraid I may be
wasting your time here.
I uh, just wanted to know
exactly how you arrange things?
SOCIAL ARRANGER
(OFFSCREEN): Tell you what?
Why don't you allow
me to make up a list?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): A list?
-For you to look at.
-Oh.
I see no harm in that.
-It's like we say in the ad.
You're not the only one.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): I should be
up at the cabin Christmas Eve
afternoon.
No, Jim and the family
can't make it this year.
No, just me.
It'll be fine, but
thanks for the thought.
Uh, can you fix a fire and
uh, make up one bed, huh?
Logs are in, right?
Oh great.
Thanks, Mrs. Logan.
Great, bye.
-Christmas cheer!
Empire Discount Store!
Discounts for everybody!
Get your merry Christmas
at a good price!
[TAPE REWINDING]
[BEEPS]
JIM (ON TAPE): Hi Dad.
It's Jim.
Look Dad, Micki and I
don't like this idea
of you going up to
the cabin on your own.
We both think it would
be a whole lot better
if you come out here.
Seriously, Dad.
OK?
Give us a ring.
You know we'll meet
any flight, OK?
[BEEP]
SOCIAL ARRANGER (ON
TAPE): Mr. Tanner.
Oh, it's a machine.
This is the agency.
The arranger?
You came by here
Tuesday, remember?
OK, would you be free
tomorrow round noon?
I'd like to meet you in the
lobby of the Regency Hotel.
Could you call me
back to confirm?
[BEEPS]
-[SIGHS]
-Yes.
-Mm.
-Well.
She's here.
-[LAUGHS] Who's here?
-She.
The lady in question.
-But I understood that--
-She wanted to see you first.
-I, I thought there was supposed
to be some kind of list?
-Well, perhaps I misunderstood
your instructions.
-So, [LAUGHS] she's uh, she's
looking at me right now,
is she, huh?
-Yes.
-I, I, I don't
recall authorizing
you to go as far as this.
-Uh, Christmas is the most-- my
secretary was out with the flu
as you know.
And one lady didn't quite--
uh, to cut a long story short,
the choice was less
than I'd hoped.
-Like no choice at all.
-You could look at it like that.
-OK.
Now she's seen me.
It's my turn.
I want to see her.
-Right.
I'll go and get her.
-Mr. Tanner?
I'm Iris.
-Oh right.
From uh--
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
-[LAUGHS] You've been
here uh, a little time.
-I just wanted to see you first.
-Yes, I can understand that.
Uh-- is he coming back?
-I don't think so.
-Oh.
[LAUGHS] I have to
tell you, I did not
expect to reach this
point quite so soon.
This is all uh, unfamiliar.
-Yes.
-So uh, what can I
tell you about myself?
Uh, I'm a widower.
I'm a retired architect.
I don't want to spend
Christmas alone.
How's that?
-[LAUGHS] You're very clear.
-So what about you?
-Me?
I'm just me.
-Nowhere to go over Christmas?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): No.
-You uh, live alone then?
-Mr. Tanner, you have every
right to ask me questions.
But could we agree no questions?
-No questions?
-Please.
-[SIGHS] Oh, all right.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Thank you.
-If that's what you want.
Do you want to
know more about me?
-No.
-Oh.
So uh, what do you think?
-About what?
-Well, are we on or aren't we?
-Oh yes.
Unless you don't want to.
-Not quite what I
imagined, but uh, why not?
-Yes.
Why not?
-Let me know how
I can contact you.
Shall I pick you
up at your house?
Say around noon?
-I'll be there.
It, it's, it's
marked on the map.
-It's a bus depot.
-Yes.
-[LAUGHS] You don't want
to wait around a bus depot.
-Please.
It's the best way for me, truly.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
No questions, right?
All right, then.
X marks the spot.
-I wasn't sure you'd make it.
-I wasn't sure you'd be here.
-Oh.
That it?
-That's it.
-Florence used to bring the
entire contents of the house.
Uh, my wife.
It takes a long time to
believe someone really
isn't there anymore.
After 35 years, it does.
OK, let's head for the hills.
[ENGINE STARTING]
-Is your house far?
-My house?
No uh, we're going to the cabin.
Well, we always spend
Christmas at the cabin.
-I see.
I thought it would be in town.
I didn't know.
-Oh oh, you'll like the cabin.
It's a perfect place to
get away from it all.
Florence and I went there
every Christmas for oh,
must be 20 years now.
You spend a lifetime
among friends,
neighbors, work colleagues.
You go to all these parties,
know all these people.
And uh, you look
around for one person
to spend a half or a few days,
and there's no one there.
Nobody.
Well, that's why people
get married, I guess.
So that when they look
around, there's someone there.
You know what I mean?
-Yes.
-You've been married ever?
-Yes.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
Didn't work out?
-Please.
-Oh yeah.
Right, I remember.
No questions.
Like it?
-Yes.
-I built it for Florence.
-Did she like it?
-Oh sure.
Came every Christmas.
See what you think
of the inside.
-Oh.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Like it?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Oh yes.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
Our special place.
-You and Florence.
-Yes.
-[SIGHS] Right.
[CHUCKLES] Drink.
Then unload the car.
Then eat.
In that order.
-In that order.
-So what's it to be?
-Well, anything.
Whatever you're having.
-Straight Scotch.
-Fine.
-Here's to company
over Christmas.
[CLINK]
-How we feeling so far?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Fine.
-Still nervous?
-Yes.
-Me too.
Right.
Unload car.
[MUSIC BOX PLAYING]
-Quite a collection, isn't it?
-Your wife's?
-Yes.
-Brought a tree all the way from
town so we could stand it here.
In the middle of the forest.
Well, that's modern
life for you, huh?
German.
We found them in a
little shop in Munich.
-Oh, they're lovely.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Say, you
know what you could do?
You could arrange the
reindeer and the sled
on the mantelpiece.
-All right.
-Uh, you see that chest?
There's a cardboard
box somewhere
in there with reindeer in it.
-Oh yes.
Christmas reindeer.
-Mm.
-Oh sorry.
Did I do it wrong?
-Oh, doesn't matter at all.
Pure habit.
Uh, Rudolph usually goes first.
His red nose lights the
way for all the others.
-Of course.
Do you have any
neighbors out here?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): That depends
upon what you call neighbors.
The Logans' place is
about three miles away.
-Could I put my bag in
my room, do you think?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh, of course.
Of course, of course.
I'll make the bed up right away.
-Oh, I can do that!
-Oh no, you're my guest.
You don't make beds.
-No, I like to make beds.
I'm good at it.
-Good at making beds?
-Yes.
I, I used to be a nurse.
-A nurse?
-Yes.
-Then I bow to your
hospital corners. [LAUGHS]
Should be all you need there.
-Oh yes.
-I'll go look after the soup.
That's one thing to be
said for living alone.
You learn to cook. [LAUGHS] Mmm,
it gives me a lot of pleasure,
cooking.
The trouble is,
when I've cooked it,
I don't always want to eat it.
They say the best
sauce is good company.
-I thought they said the
best sauce is hunger?
-No, that too.
Yep.
Good appetite and good friends.
Either one or the other you
do not seem to have. [LAUGHS]
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-[LAUGHS]
-It's very good.
-No, no.
Don't worry.
You don't have to
eat to please me.
Florence was never a big eater.
-How long ago did your wife die?
-10 months.
-It's almost as if
she's still here.
-That's how it is for me.
As if she's still here.
-Only she's not.
-You're a strange person.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
I don't mean to be.
-No, that's not bad.
It's good.
I just don't know
what to make of you.
-Don't make anything of me.
I'm not worth the trouble.
-How do you know that?
You might be worth the
trouble to someone else
if only give them the
chance to get to know you.
-Please.
-Yeah, I know.
I know.
No questions.
Well, this isn't how I
imagined it, that's all.
So what do you like to
do on Christmas day?
-Oh, I don't care.
Whatever you want.
-Could show you the lake.
You'll like the lake.
-I expect I will.
Would it be all right
if I went upstairs soon?
I, I'm very tired.
-Of course.
Uh, you're to do
exactly as you please.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Ah.
-May I get you a nightcap?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, no thank you.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
-Yes?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Are you sure
you have everything you want?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
Yes, thanks.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
[FOOTSTEPS]
[DOOR CLOSING]
-Good morning.
-Well, good morning.
I hope you slept well.
-Yes, thank you.
-And merry Christmas! [LAUGHS]
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Oh yes!
Merry Christmas!
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Yes!
-Serious cookery.
-Well, Christmas
dinner is my specialty.
But you don't have to eat it
if you don't feel like it.
Just be there.
-Actually I, I feel
hungrier today.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh good!
So what'll you
have for breakfast?
Uh, muffins, eggs, granola?
You name it, we got it.
-Just coffee.
I'll save up for the
Christmas dinner.
It's like you have a whole
plan for this weekend.
[LAUGHS] Did, did you design it?
Make one of those
um, oh what do they
call that, that architects make?
-Blueprints.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
-Now that's a question.
Hmm?
Did I design this weekend?
Not exactly.
Maybe just an outline.
I like to think ahead.
-How's it going?
-I'm not sure.
Well, I'll be absolutely
honest with you.
I've been dreading this
Christmas for months.
I knew that Jim and Micki
would want me to go to them.
Jim's all right.
I mean, he could use a little
push, but he's all right.
Micki, she's a tough one.
She's one of those women
that feels that uh, she's
doing you a favor
if she tells you
the absolute unvarnished truth.
I'm not big on
searching the soul.
Hmm.
So why am I telling
you all this?
-People say things to strangers.
-Are we strangers?
-Well, that's the whole idea.
That's what we wanted.
-That's what you wanted.
-Yes.
What did you want?
-Real answer?
I wanted to spend
Christmas with someone who
wouldn't pity me
because I was alone.
Someone alone like me.
-I don't pity you.
-I know that.
You went to the agency.
I went to the agency.
We're both in the same boat.
-Right.
-But I can't help wanting
to know more about you.
-[LAUGHS] Can't you just
know me like, like I am here?
Like I am now?
Can't that be enough?
-I guess I'll have
to be, won't it?
You were married.
-Yes.
-I don't know what happened.
Maybe he walked out on
you for another woman.
Everybody does it these days.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
-Florence didn't
leave you, did she?
-No.
Never.
-Until the end.
I'm sorry.
You see, you shouldn't
ask me questions.
You'll find I'm not
a nice person at all.
-Well, I don't know if
I'm all that nice myself.
I always took it for
granted I was a good guy.
Sometimes I hear myself.
Sometimes catch a glimpse of
myself, you know, from outside.
And I think, god, what
a pig-headed old bore!
-You're not a bore.
-Pig-headed though, right?
-I can't say yet.
I don't know you well enough.
-[LAUGHS] Well, that'll
teach me to ask questions.
Well now, it's
Christmas morning and we
have to do everything right.
So now we have the
exchange of gifts.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): But I
haven't brought a gift!
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Sure you have!
It's all in the plan, hmm?
Uh, to my new, if mysterious
friend, merry Christmas.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, I feel terrible!
-Oh!
What's this?
Ah [LAUGHS] to John,
Merry Christmas.
Oh you shouldn't have!
-Oh, I feel really awful!
-Well, what do I care?
I get to open a present!
[LAUGHS]
-What did I choose for you?
-Well, let's see here.
Oy, how did you know?
[LAUGHS] Exactly my pattern!
-Oh, if you ask me, I think I
could have been more generous.
Could at least have given
you a pair of socks to match.
-[LAUGHS] Not at all.
I'm touched.
[LAUGHS] Watch this, dear.
How's that, huh?
-Very good!
-[LAUGHS] Yes.
Now, your turn.
[MUSIC-BEETHOVEN,_"FUR_ELISE"]
-I didn't know what else to get.
After all, I don't know you.
-Thank you.
You're very kind.
[MUSIC-BEETHOVEN,"FUR_ELISE"]
-It's Beethoven.
-"Fur Elise."
Although I don't
know who Elise was.
-Just a friend.
[PHONE RINGING]
-Hello?
Oh, hello son!
Yeah, merry
Christmas to you too.
Oh, of course the
turkey's in the oven.
All right.
No, just me.
No, no.
No problem.
Uh, no problem.
It's the way I want
it, Jim, for this year.
Next year, we'll see.
How's Micki?
No!
Ooh, don't wake her!
No.
And the boys?
Yeah, all right, all right.
Put them on!
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Hi Timmy!
No.
No snow yet.
You guys get my presents?
Good.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, Jim?
I, I, I'll call you
when I get back to town.
No!
No, don't wake Micki! [LAUGHS]
All right, yeah.
Yeah, bye.
Uh, that was my boy, Jimmy.
He wouldn't understand.
-What wouldn't he understand?
-Your being here.
What's going on.
-What is going on?
-Nothing.
Nothing at all.
-But you don't think
he'd believe you.
-Have you noticed how
children are a whole lot more
puritanical than their
parents these days?
Jim likes to give me
little lectures on
to fulfill my potential and
how to get more out of the day
and how to read
faster, for God's sake.
I tell him, how about if I like
to be a lazy, useless old man
who likes nothing better than to
drink beer and watch ballgames?
He thinks I'm joking.
-You are.
-God help me.
You're starting to see
through me. [LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHING] Sorry.
Not the deal.
-Not your deal.
-After lunch, could
we take a walk?
It looks so beautiful outside.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): 'Course we
can go for a walk after lunch.
We always do.
-Do you ever go for
a walk before lunch?
-On Christmas morning?
Never.
-Then let's do that.
Let's go for a
walk before lunch.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): A walk
before Christmas dinner?
You must be one
of those radicals,
subversives I read about.
This is a serious
step, you know.
This could mark the end of
civilization as we know it.
-[LAUGHING]
[BIRDS CALLING]
-What's the smell?
-Juniper berries.
-Oh.
-Yeah.
Whoop!
Here.
Oh!
Here.
Here you are.
Smell.
-Oh!
Can you eat them?
-Sure!
-Do you know all the trees?
-Yeah.
That's a pine and that's an oak.
-[LAUGHS] Oh, I'm,
I'm very impressed!
-Yeah, I had a vision when I
was building the cabin that I'd
learn the names of
all the trees and all
the birds and all the clouds.
I always liked clouds.
And I'd teach Jim, and one
day he'd teach his boy.
And his boy would say, dad,
how come you know so much?
Jim would say, my dad taught me.
Just like I'm teaching you.
I really thought
that was a good idea,
but I never did
anything about it.
Too much of an effort.
You have no idea how many
damn trees there really are.
-Why do you like clouds?
-Why do I like clouds?
Never asked myself that.
Well, doesn't everybody?
-Most people don't
even see them.
-Oh.
Do you?
-Oh yes.
-Well, why do you like clouds?
-'Cause they go slow.
'Cause all the time
they're changing.
'Cause they don't
mind about things.
-That's right.
That's why I like clouds too.
-Oh!
-[CHUCKLES]
-Ah.
-You know, not long
after Florence died,
I was walking here.
And I looked out across
the lake over there
and I thought I saw
her coming toward me.
Wasn't like a dream or a ghost.
It was just like she was there.
I called out to her.
I knew she couldn't be
there, but still I called.
-You're not at all the
way I thought you'd be.
-How'd you think I'd be?
-I don't know.
Different.
-Huh.
Did you suspect my motives?
-No.
Well-- [LAUGHS]
-Don't worry.
That's not part of the plan.
A toast.
-A toast.
-To new friends.
-To new friends.
Do you wish you
were in California?
-No.
Do you wish you were
uh, well, wherever
you'd be if you weren't here?
-No.
-That took a while to come out.
[LAUGHS] I thought we were
getting along pretty well.
-Well we are.
-But?
-Well, I'll say this.
You're not a bad cook.
-Oh, not bad is about right.
I go by the book.
Florence followed her nose.
-And was she a good cook?
-The best.
Why do I say that?
-[LAUGHS]
-She was-- [LAUGHS] She
wasn't the best cook.
She was not bad.
-Let me guess.
Every day for 35 years, you
put down your knife and fork
and said, "Boy, was that good."
-Well, if someone goes
to all the trouble
of making a good meal for you--
-You're right!
-How about you?
Do you cook?
-Not bad.
-[LAUGHS] I have a question.
I know the deal is no questions.
But this isn't about
your private life.
Everybody has something
they're proud of,
something they're good at.
I design houses.
I, I'm good at that.
When I wake up in the
middle of the night
and I think how my life has
gone by and I've done nothing
and now it's too
late, I remember
this house, or that house.
I say, well, at least
that's real, that's good.
-It is real.
It is good!
-Well, what do you say?
Or maybe you don't wake up
in the middle of the night?
-Yes, I do.
-What do you say?
I mean, what keeps you going?
-I guess I'm loyal.
Yes, I'm good at loyalty.
-Loyalty to what?
-Please.
-Please. [LAUGHS]
-Do you believe in
life after death?
-Yes.
-Florence did.
I was glad about
that at the end.
-But not you?
-No.
As far as I'm
concerned, when I die,
I'll go back into the earth
and help the trees to grow.
That's good enough for me.
-Then you don't think
there's a big plan?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): No.
-That's why you cling so
hard to your little plans.
-Do I?
-It's four in the
afternoon on Christmas day.
There must be a plan for four in
the afternoon on Christmas day.
-Oh yes.
That's when we do
the party pieces.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): What's that?
-Well, my father started it.
He was a doctor,
but he always wished
he'd gone into the theater.
So we had these little
acts we did for each other.
Nothing much.
-What did you do?
-I played my tipple and sang.
-Your tipple? [LAUGHS]
Oh, I'd like to see that!
-Oh, so you can laugh at me.
-Of course I can laugh at you!
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh, very well.
All right.
Remember, you asked for it.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHS]
-Oh well, there he is.
Well, tipple.
[LAUGHS] Let's see if
she's still in tune.
[PLAYING UKULELE]
[SINGING] Oh Yama,
Yama, Yama man.
Terrible eyes and cheeks of tan.
And if you don't watch out,
he'll get you without a doubt
if he can.
Oh baby.
Maybe he's hiding
under the stair,
waiting to spring
out at you unaware.
So run to your llama.
Beware of the Yama, Yama man.
-[LAUGHING]
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh! [LAUGHING]
[APPLAUDING]
-Ah now.
Now it's your turn.
-Oh, I can't sing. [LAUGHS]
-Anything.
Recite something.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Oh.
OK.
I'll give you a poem.
[LAUGHS]
A single flower he
sent me since we met.
All tenderly his
messenger he chose.
Deep-hearted, pure, with
scented dew still wet.
One perfect rose.
Why is it no one's
ever sent me yet
one perfect limousine,
do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my
luck to get one perfect rose.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHS]
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
It's Dorothy Parker.
-[LAUGHING]
-I should never have come here.
-Well why?
Aren't we having a good time?
-That's why.
-I don't understand.
-I'm a fraud.
-What sort of fraud?
-Just not what you think.
-Well, how do you
know what I think?
I don't even know myself.
This is here.
This is now.
I like you.
And why can't that be enough?
That's what you said, remember?
-I remember.
Your wife didn't really like
coming here very much, did she?
-Why do you say that?
-I'm right, aren't I?
-Florence uh, liked company.
She always had so
many things to do,
it wasn't easy for
her to get away.
She was a city girl.
Always had been.
-Let her go, John.
That part of the plan is over.
-That's the first time
you've used my name.
-Yes.
-Iris.
That's the first time
I've used your name.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
-Do you think I'm
holding onto her?
-It's none of my business.
I should never have come.
-So why did you?
Because you were lonely.
Say it.
It's not such a shameful secret.
I'm lonely.
OK, I can say it.
-I never thought I'd
like you so much.
-What's so terrible about that?
-[CRYING]
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Aw, come here.
Come here.
No strings.
Just a hug.
-[WEEPING]
[OWL HOOTING]
-[COUGHS]
[MUSIC-BEETHOVEN,_"FUR_ELISE"]
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
Anything I can do?
[DOOR CLOSING]
-I thought I'd make
myself useful for once.
-Find everything?
-As much as I needed.
I may have made the
coffee too strong.
-Well, strong is how I like it.
-I like you better
when you, when
you're not sure what's going on.
-I haven't known what's been
going on since I met you.
I don't mind not
knowing this time,
so long as I understand
next time or the time
after or one day.
Oh, all packed up and
ready to go, I see?
-I thought you understood.
-What?
-There isn't going
to be a next time.
This is all it was
ever going to be.
-No, Iris.
That's not good enough anymore.
-Oh please!
-No, no!
I don't have an address.
I don't have a phone number.
I don't even know your
last name, for God's sake.
Do you want to pretend
I never existed?
-Oh please, can't
you understand?
It's, it's me who
never really existed!
-Well then, who have
I been talking to
for the last two days?
Myself?
Why Iris?
Just tell me why!
Give me a reason!
We're not strangers anymore.
Maybe you wish we were.
But we aren't.
We've come close
these last two days.
You know it.
-Yes.
-Well then, give
me one good reason
why we shouldn't come closer.
-Because I'm married!
I'm sorry.
I didn't want to
have to tell you.
He couldn't find anyone.
Christmas is a difficult time.
We needed the money.
You've probably never known
what it's like to need money.
When you don't have
any, $500 is a lot.
-The man at the agency
is your husband.
-Yes.
-[SIGHS] How could he?
-He said I should do it,
that it would be all right.
He said you were safe.
-Safe?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
He said you were--
-Safe!
Nobody is safe today!
How could he send
you out like this?
How could he know I was safe?
I was someone who walked
in off the street!
And you, you love him?
-He's my husband.
-Ah.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): You probably
can't understand this.
I'm not even sure I do.
You can get involved
with the craziest people.
You can love someone
even if he's no good.
You just love him and he's
no good and that's how it is.
-[SIGHS].
Have I been an old fool?
-I wish you had been.
And I wouldn't mind.
-You do mind?
-Yes.
-So, your plan hasn't
worked out either?
-No.
I've never done this
before in all my life.
I'll never do it again.
-I would've thought there
were easier ways to earn $500.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
You'll get it all back!
-I don't want it back.
I paid for company at Christmas.
I got it.
You've been the best company
I could've hoped for.
-All I've done is
played stupid mysteries
and talked a lot of nonsense
about your marriage.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
It wasn't nonsense.
It was the truth.
The truth about me.
-That's not what you paid for.
-Isn't it?
What did I think I was
doing, going off alone
with some strange woman?
What was I trying to prove?
That I'm not alone?
But I am.
-Maybe that life isn't over yet.
-Yes.
-Maybe you were
breaking a spell.
-Maybe I was.
[ENGINE STARTING]
-Ah. [LAUGHS].
I don't seem to know
how to say goodbye.
-Then don't.
Thank you John, for
a lovely Christmas.
-How you doing, Mr. Tanner?
Some more coffee?
-Oh thank you, Dora.
That'd be fine.
Dora, see if you can
get the name of the book
that lady's reading.
-She says she'll trade you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIRENS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-How you doing, Mr. Tanner?
Some more coffee?
-Oh thank you, Dora.
That'll be fine.
-How's that son of yours?
Still living out west?
-Well, I'll be seeing
him at Christmas.
They always come
east for Christmas.
-Oh, that's nice.
Christmas is the
time for the family.
-Yeah, that's what they say.
-Well, especially now that--
-As you say, Dora.
Especially now.
-How about a piece
of pumpkin pie?
-The Thanksgiving special.
Why not?
[CHILDREN PLAYING]
-Hey, hey!
[CHILDREN PLAYING]
[TAPE REWINDING]
JIM (ON TAPE): Hi Dad.
It's your son.
Just called to say happy
Thanksgiving and the rest.
Give us a call, OK?
[BEEP]
[DIALING PHONE]
[PHONE RINGING]
-Hello Jim!
-Hi Dad!
Happy Thanksgiving.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Thanks.
-Uh, we tried to
ring you earlier.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, yeah.
I know, I got the message.
I just walked in.
-Well, that's good.
Uh, I mean that you were out.
No good sitting around alone.
-Yeah.
Uh, how are Micki and the boys?
JIM (ON PHONE): Fine.
Everyone's fine.
Uh, listen Dad, I've been
thinking about Christmas.
-Uh look, tell the boys
that I can't promise snow,
but we'll try.
-Yes, well Dad, that's
what Micki and I
wanted to talk to you about.
-Uh, just tell me
which flight and I'll
meet you at the airport.
I don't mind telling
you I'm really
looking forward to
seeing you, Jim.
JIM (ON PHONE): Yeah.
Look Dad, I think it's going
to be difficult this year.
I mean, well, there
are four of us.
And now that Mother's
gone-- what I mean is,
we want you to come
to us this year.
-Well, we've uh, always
spent Christmas at the cabin.
Always.
-Yes, I know.
But it, it wouldn't be
the same now anyway.
And one plane ticket makes a
lot more sense than buying four.
-Oh well, I'll get the tickets.
JIM (ON PHONE): Dad,
you're alone now.
There's no family there.
It's not practical, Dad.
Look, don't decide anything now.
I, I know this is not
the easiest time for you.
Especially the first year.
Everyone agrees
it's the hardest.
-You needn't worry about me.
I'm doing fine.
Just fine.
-Well, think about
coming out, OK?
Everything can't always
be the same, Dad.
-Well, let's talk on Sunday.
Love to Micki and the boys.
Well, what are you doing
for Christmas, Harry?
HARRY (OFFSCREEN):
All right, all right.
What have we got here?
Uh, I guess we'll uh, go down
to Mike's place in Virginia,
see the children.
Usually do.
-Yeah well, Stella and I are
gonna get away from it all.
We paid our dues, now we
take the cruise. [LAUGHS]
-I'm in for five.
-How about you, John?
Back to the mountains?
-Back to the mountains.
I love that place.
-Too lonesome for me.
I can't hear traffic,
I don't sleep.
-You want to go back
to the cabin, John?
All those memories?
-[SIGHS] I like the memories.
-I'm not saying you
have to forget her.
I'm just saying life goes on.
-You want to be on your
own up there, John?
-No.
I don't want to be on my own.
[DOG BARKING]
[SIRENS]
-Hmm.
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER (ON
TV): At four minutes
left in the third quarter,
Arizona at their own 35,
trailing 21-17.
Johnson split left,
Bradshaw split right.
Landry's going to throw.
Over the middle.
It's Abe Clark.
He's wide open
into LA territory.
Down the sideline,
out of bounds.
Outstanding play by
the Arizona offense
just throwing underneath
the LA back field.
[PHONE RINGING]
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER (ON
TV): Fine play, indeed.
Abe Clark coming out
of the backfield.
SOCIAL ARRANGER
(ON TAPE): Hello.
This is Alone
Again Incorporated.
We're not here right
now, but why not
call again tomorrow or
stop by to talk with us?
The address is 749 and
1/2 Clinton Street.
And remember, you're
not the only one.
[BEEP]
FOOTBALL ANNOUNCER (ON
TV): Watch this block here
by Trumaine Johnson to
spring Abe Clark free.
Down to the 20 yard
line, the LA express.
First and 10.
-749 and 1/2 Clinton Street.
-Are you the Social Arranger?
-At your service.
At your service.
-Yes.
Uh, the scope of your service?
Your ad is intriguing,
but a little unclear.
-It's very clear.
We make social
arrangements of all kinds.
-Oh, splendid.
[CHUCKLES] Well, perhaps
I can rely on you.
-We're very discreet.
-Oh, I assure you, there's
no call for discretion.
-Your name, Mr. uh?
-Tanner.
John Tanner.
SOCIAL ARRANGER
(OFFSCREEN): Daytime phone?
Just for the files.
-Oh!
834-9224.
-[SIGHS]
-I live alone.
My wife is dead.
Christmas has
become-- well, what
I require is a
Christmas companion.
A lady of my own age or younger.
-Uh huh.
-But preferably of my own age.
-Yeah.
Just for dinner or
for the evening?
-Well, Christmas is
on Saturday this year.
Actually, I'd prefer the
lady for the weekend.
-Just what kind of company
did you have in mind?
-I want it clearly understood
that the bedrooms are separate.
Just social company.
-Social company.
Right.
-Is there a difficulty?
-No,no, no.
No.
I'm sure we can
sort something out.
It's uh, it's just
Christmas, you see.
People do tend to get
booked up over Christmas.
-Well, I'm sure you have
someone in your files
who lives alone
who would welcome
a pleasant holiday with
no strings attached.
-My uh, secretary at the
moment is out with the flu.
An inconvenience.
Your request is reasonable.
We'll consult our other files.
There is however, the
matter of the fee.
-How much do you charge?
-Have you ever done this before?
-Never.
-Prices do vary.
-Mm.
They would.
-For the weekend,
for Christmas, $500?
-$500?
-Would you like a cup of coffee?
-I'm afraid I may be
wasting your time here.
I uh, just wanted to know
exactly how you arrange things?
SOCIAL ARRANGER
(OFFSCREEN): Tell you what?
Why don't you allow
me to make up a list?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): A list?
-For you to look at.
-Oh.
I see no harm in that.
-It's like we say in the ad.
You're not the only one.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): I should be
up at the cabin Christmas Eve
afternoon.
No, Jim and the family
can't make it this year.
No, just me.
It'll be fine, but
thanks for the thought.
Uh, can you fix a fire and
uh, make up one bed, huh?
Logs are in, right?
Oh great.
Thanks, Mrs. Logan.
Great, bye.
-Christmas cheer!
Empire Discount Store!
Discounts for everybody!
Get your merry Christmas
at a good price!
[TAPE REWINDING]
[BEEPS]
JIM (ON TAPE): Hi Dad.
It's Jim.
Look Dad, Micki and I
don't like this idea
of you going up to
the cabin on your own.
We both think it would
be a whole lot better
if you come out here.
Seriously, Dad.
OK?
Give us a ring.
You know we'll meet
any flight, OK?
[BEEP]
SOCIAL ARRANGER (ON
TAPE): Mr. Tanner.
Oh, it's a machine.
This is the agency.
The arranger?
You came by here
Tuesday, remember?
OK, would you be free
tomorrow round noon?
I'd like to meet you in the
lobby of the Regency Hotel.
Could you call me
back to confirm?
[BEEPS]
-[SIGHS]
-Yes.
-Mm.
-Well.
She's here.
-[LAUGHS] Who's here?
-She.
The lady in question.
-But I understood that--
-She wanted to see you first.
-I, I thought there was supposed
to be some kind of list?
-Well, perhaps I misunderstood
your instructions.
-So, [LAUGHS] she's uh, she's
looking at me right now,
is she, huh?
-Yes.
-I, I, I don't
recall authorizing
you to go as far as this.
-Uh, Christmas is the most-- my
secretary was out with the flu
as you know.
And one lady didn't quite--
uh, to cut a long story short,
the choice was less
than I'd hoped.
-Like no choice at all.
-You could look at it like that.
-OK.
Now she's seen me.
It's my turn.
I want to see her.
-Right.
I'll go and get her.
-Mr. Tanner?
I'm Iris.
-Oh right.
From uh--
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
-[LAUGHS] You've been
here uh, a little time.
-I just wanted to see you first.
-Yes, I can understand that.
Uh-- is he coming back?
-I don't think so.
-Oh.
[LAUGHS] I have to
tell you, I did not
expect to reach this
point quite so soon.
This is all uh, unfamiliar.
-Yes.
-So uh, what can I
tell you about myself?
Uh, I'm a widower.
I'm a retired architect.
I don't want to spend
Christmas alone.
How's that?
-[LAUGHS] You're very clear.
-So what about you?
-Me?
I'm just me.
-Nowhere to go over Christmas?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): No.
-You uh, live alone then?
-Mr. Tanner, you have every
right to ask me questions.
But could we agree no questions?
-No questions?
-Please.
-[SIGHS] Oh, all right.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Thank you.
-If that's what you want.
Do you want to
know more about me?
-No.
-Oh.
So uh, what do you think?
-About what?
-Well, are we on or aren't we?
-Oh yes.
Unless you don't want to.
-Not quite what I
imagined, but uh, why not?
-Yes.
Why not?
-Let me know how
I can contact you.
Shall I pick you
up at your house?
Say around noon?
-I'll be there.
It, it's, it's
marked on the map.
-It's a bus depot.
-Yes.
-[LAUGHS] You don't want
to wait around a bus depot.
-Please.
It's the best way for me, truly.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
No questions, right?
All right, then.
X marks the spot.
-I wasn't sure you'd make it.
-I wasn't sure you'd be here.
-Oh.
That it?
-That's it.
-Florence used to bring the
entire contents of the house.
Uh, my wife.
It takes a long time to
believe someone really
isn't there anymore.
After 35 years, it does.
OK, let's head for the hills.
[ENGINE STARTING]
-Is your house far?
-My house?
No uh, we're going to the cabin.
Well, we always spend
Christmas at the cabin.
-I see.
I thought it would be in town.
I didn't know.
-Oh oh, you'll like the cabin.
It's a perfect place to
get away from it all.
Florence and I went there
every Christmas for oh,
must be 20 years now.
You spend a lifetime
among friends,
neighbors, work colleagues.
You go to all these parties,
know all these people.
And uh, you look
around for one person
to spend a half or a few days,
and there's no one there.
Nobody.
Well, that's why people
get married, I guess.
So that when they look
around, there's someone there.
You know what I mean?
-Yes.
-You've been married ever?
-Yes.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
Didn't work out?
-Please.
-Oh yeah.
Right, I remember.
No questions.
Like it?
-Yes.
-I built it for Florence.
-Did she like it?
-Oh sure.
Came every Christmas.
See what you think
of the inside.
-Oh.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Like it?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Oh yes.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
Our special place.
-You and Florence.
-Yes.
-[SIGHS] Right.
[CHUCKLES] Drink.
Then unload the car.
Then eat.
In that order.
-In that order.
-So what's it to be?
-Well, anything.
Whatever you're having.
-Straight Scotch.
-Fine.
-Here's to company
over Christmas.
[CLINK]
-How we feeling so far?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Fine.
-Still nervous?
-Yes.
-Me too.
Right.
Unload car.
[MUSIC BOX PLAYING]
-Quite a collection, isn't it?
-Your wife's?
-Yes.
-Brought a tree all the way from
town so we could stand it here.
In the middle of the forest.
Well, that's modern
life for you, huh?
German.
We found them in a
little shop in Munich.
-Oh, they're lovely.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Say, you
know what you could do?
You could arrange the
reindeer and the sled
on the mantelpiece.
-All right.
-Uh, you see that chest?
There's a cardboard
box somewhere
in there with reindeer in it.
-Oh yes.
Christmas reindeer.
-Mm.
-Oh sorry.
Did I do it wrong?
-Oh, doesn't matter at all.
Pure habit.
Uh, Rudolph usually goes first.
His red nose lights the
way for all the others.
-Of course.
Do you have any
neighbors out here?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): That depends
upon what you call neighbors.
The Logans' place is
about three miles away.
-Could I put my bag in
my room, do you think?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh, of course.
Of course, of course.
I'll make the bed up right away.
-Oh, I can do that!
-Oh no, you're my guest.
You don't make beds.
-No, I like to make beds.
I'm good at it.
-Good at making beds?
-Yes.
I, I used to be a nurse.
-A nurse?
-Yes.
-Then I bow to your
hospital corners. [LAUGHS]
Should be all you need there.
-Oh yes.
-I'll go look after the soup.
That's one thing to be
said for living alone.
You learn to cook. [LAUGHS] Mmm,
it gives me a lot of pleasure,
cooking.
The trouble is,
when I've cooked it,
I don't always want to eat it.
They say the best
sauce is good company.
-I thought they said the
best sauce is hunger?
-No, that too.
Yep.
Good appetite and good friends.
Either one or the other you
do not seem to have. [LAUGHS]
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-[LAUGHS]
-It's very good.
-No, no.
Don't worry.
You don't have to
eat to please me.
Florence was never a big eater.
-How long ago did your wife die?
-10 months.
-It's almost as if
she's still here.
-That's how it is for me.
As if she's still here.
-Only she's not.
-You're a strange person.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
I don't mean to be.
-No, that's not bad.
It's good.
I just don't know
what to make of you.
-Don't make anything of me.
I'm not worth the trouble.
-How do you know that?
You might be worth the
trouble to someone else
if only give them the
chance to get to know you.
-Please.
-Yeah, I know.
I know.
No questions.
Well, this isn't how I
imagined it, that's all.
So what do you like to
do on Christmas day?
-Oh, I don't care.
Whatever you want.
-Could show you the lake.
You'll like the lake.
-I expect I will.
Would it be all right
if I went upstairs soon?
I, I'm very tired.
-Of course.
Uh, you're to do
exactly as you please.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Ah.
-May I get you a nightcap?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, no thank you.
Nothing.
Nothing at all.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
-Yes?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Are you sure
you have everything you want?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
Yes, thanks.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Goodnight.
-Goodnight.
[FOOTSTEPS]
[DOOR CLOSING]
-Good morning.
-Well, good morning.
I hope you slept well.
-Yes, thank you.
-And merry Christmas! [LAUGHS]
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Oh yes!
Merry Christmas!
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Yes!
-Serious cookery.
-Well, Christmas
dinner is my specialty.
But you don't have to eat it
if you don't feel like it.
Just be there.
-Actually I, I feel
hungrier today.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh good!
So what'll you
have for breakfast?
Uh, muffins, eggs, granola?
You name it, we got it.
-Just coffee.
I'll save up for the
Christmas dinner.
It's like you have a whole
plan for this weekend.
[LAUGHS] Did, did you design it?
Make one of those
um, oh what do they
call that, that architects make?
-Blueprints.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
-Now that's a question.
Hmm?
Did I design this weekend?
Not exactly.
Maybe just an outline.
I like to think ahead.
-How's it going?
-I'm not sure.
Well, I'll be absolutely
honest with you.
I've been dreading this
Christmas for months.
I knew that Jim and Micki
would want me to go to them.
Jim's all right.
I mean, he could use a little
push, but he's all right.
Micki, she's a tough one.
She's one of those women
that feels that uh, she's
doing you a favor
if she tells you
the absolute unvarnished truth.
I'm not big on
searching the soul.
Hmm.
So why am I telling
you all this?
-People say things to strangers.
-Are we strangers?
-Well, that's the whole idea.
That's what we wanted.
-That's what you wanted.
-Yes.
What did you want?
-Real answer?
I wanted to spend
Christmas with someone who
wouldn't pity me
because I was alone.
Someone alone like me.
-I don't pity you.
-I know that.
You went to the agency.
I went to the agency.
We're both in the same boat.
-Right.
-But I can't help wanting
to know more about you.
-[LAUGHS] Can't you just
know me like, like I am here?
Like I am now?
Can't that be enough?
-I guess I'll have
to be, won't it?
You were married.
-Yes.
-I don't know what happened.
Maybe he walked out on
you for another woman.
Everybody does it these days.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
-Florence didn't
leave you, did she?
-No.
Never.
-Until the end.
I'm sorry.
You see, you shouldn't
ask me questions.
You'll find I'm not
a nice person at all.
-Well, I don't know if
I'm all that nice myself.
I always took it for
granted I was a good guy.
Sometimes I hear myself.
Sometimes catch a glimpse of
myself, you know, from outside.
And I think, god, what
a pig-headed old bore!
-You're not a bore.
-Pig-headed though, right?
-I can't say yet.
I don't know you well enough.
-[LAUGHS] Well, that'll
teach me to ask questions.
Well now, it's
Christmas morning and we
have to do everything right.
So now we have the
exchange of gifts.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): But I
haven't brought a gift!
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Sure you have!
It's all in the plan, hmm?
Uh, to my new, if mysterious
friend, merry Christmas.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
Oh, I feel terrible!
-Oh!
What's this?
Ah [LAUGHS] to John,
Merry Christmas.
Oh you shouldn't have!
-Oh, I feel really awful!
-Well, what do I care?
I get to open a present!
[LAUGHS]
-What did I choose for you?
-Well, let's see here.
Oy, how did you know?
[LAUGHS] Exactly my pattern!
-Oh, if you ask me, I think I
could have been more generous.
Could at least have given
you a pair of socks to match.
-[LAUGHS] Not at all.
I'm touched.
[LAUGHS] Watch this, dear.
How's that, huh?
-Very good!
-[LAUGHS] Yes.
Now, your turn.
[MUSIC-BEETHOVEN,_"FUR_ELISE"]
-I didn't know what else to get.
After all, I don't know you.
-Thank you.
You're very kind.
[MUSIC-BEETHOVEN,"FUR_ELISE"]
-It's Beethoven.
-"Fur Elise."
Although I don't
know who Elise was.
-Just a friend.
[PHONE RINGING]
-Hello?
Oh, hello son!
Yeah, merry
Christmas to you too.
Oh, of course the
turkey's in the oven.
All right.
No, just me.
No, no.
No problem.
Uh, no problem.
It's the way I want
it, Jim, for this year.
Next year, we'll see.
How's Micki?
No!
Ooh, don't wake her!
No.
And the boys?
Yeah, all right, all right.
Put them on!
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Hi Timmy!
No.
No snow yet.
You guys get my presents?
Good.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, Jim?
I, I, I'll call you
when I get back to town.
No!
No, don't wake Micki! [LAUGHS]
All right, yeah.
Yeah, bye.
Uh, that was my boy, Jimmy.
He wouldn't understand.
-What wouldn't he understand?
-Your being here.
What's going on.
-What is going on?
-Nothing.
Nothing at all.
-But you don't think
he'd believe you.
-Have you noticed how
children are a whole lot more
puritanical than their
parents these days?
Jim likes to give me
little lectures on
to fulfill my potential and
how to get more out of the day
and how to read
faster, for God's sake.
I tell him, how about if I like
to be a lazy, useless old man
who likes nothing better than to
drink beer and watch ballgames?
He thinks I'm joking.
-You are.
-God help me.
You're starting to see
through me. [LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHING] Sorry.
Not the deal.
-Not your deal.
-After lunch, could
we take a walk?
It looks so beautiful outside.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): 'Course we
can go for a walk after lunch.
We always do.
-Do you ever go for
a walk before lunch?
-On Christmas morning?
Never.
-Then let's do that.
Let's go for a
walk before lunch.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): A walk
before Christmas dinner?
You must be one
of those radicals,
subversives I read about.
This is a serious
step, you know.
This could mark the end of
civilization as we know it.
-[LAUGHING]
[BIRDS CALLING]
-What's the smell?
-Juniper berries.
-Oh.
-Yeah.
Whoop!
Here.
Oh!
Here.
Here you are.
Smell.
-Oh!
Can you eat them?
-Sure!
-Do you know all the trees?
-Yeah.
That's a pine and that's an oak.
-[LAUGHS] Oh, I'm,
I'm very impressed!
-Yeah, I had a vision when I
was building the cabin that I'd
learn the names of
all the trees and all
the birds and all the clouds.
I always liked clouds.
And I'd teach Jim, and one
day he'd teach his boy.
And his boy would say, dad,
how come you know so much?
Jim would say, my dad taught me.
Just like I'm teaching you.
I really thought
that was a good idea,
but I never did
anything about it.
Too much of an effort.
You have no idea how many
damn trees there really are.
-Why do you like clouds?
-Why do I like clouds?
Never asked myself that.
Well, doesn't everybody?
-Most people don't
even see them.
-Oh.
Do you?
-Oh yes.
-Well, why do you like clouds?
-'Cause they go slow.
'Cause all the time
they're changing.
'Cause they don't
mind about things.
-That's right.
That's why I like clouds too.
-Oh!
-[CHUCKLES]
-Ah.
-You know, not long
after Florence died,
I was walking here.
And I looked out across
the lake over there
and I thought I saw
her coming toward me.
Wasn't like a dream or a ghost.
It was just like she was there.
I called out to her.
I knew she couldn't be
there, but still I called.
-You're not at all the
way I thought you'd be.
-How'd you think I'd be?
-I don't know.
Different.
-Huh.
Did you suspect my motives?
-No.
Well-- [LAUGHS]
-Don't worry.
That's not part of the plan.
A toast.
-A toast.
-To new friends.
-To new friends.
Do you wish you
were in California?
-No.
Do you wish you were
uh, well, wherever
you'd be if you weren't here?
-No.
-That took a while to come out.
[LAUGHS] I thought we were
getting along pretty well.
-Well we are.
-But?
-Well, I'll say this.
You're not a bad cook.
-Oh, not bad is about right.
I go by the book.
Florence followed her nose.
-And was she a good cook?
-The best.
Why do I say that?
-[LAUGHS]
-She was-- [LAUGHS] She
wasn't the best cook.
She was not bad.
-Let me guess.
Every day for 35 years, you
put down your knife and fork
and said, "Boy, was that good."
-Well, if someone goes
to all the trouble
of making a good meal for you--
-You're right!
-How about you?
Do you cook?
-Not bad.
-[LAUGHS] I have a question.
I know the deal is no questions.
But this isn't about
your private life.
Everybody has something
they're proud of,
something they're good at.
I design houses.
I, I'm good at that.
When I wake up in the
middle of the night
and I think how my life has
gone by and I've done nothing
and now it's too
late, I remember
this house, or that house.
I say, well, at least
that's real, that's good.
-It is real.
It is good!
-Well, what do you say?
Or maybe you don't wake up
in the middle of the night?
-Yes, I do.
-What do you say?
I mean, what keeps you going?
-I guess I'm loyal.
Yes, I'm good at loyalty.
-Loyalty to what?
-Please.
-Please. [LAUGHS]
-Do you believe in
life after death?
-Yes.
-Florence did.
I was glad about
that at the end.
-But not you?
-No.
As far as I'm
concerned, when I die,
I'll go back into the earth
and help the trees to grow.
That's good enough for me.
-Then you don't think
there's a big plan?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): No.
-That's why you cling so
hard to your little plans.
-Do I?
-It's four in the
afternoon on Christmas day.
There must be a plan for four in
the afternoon on Christmas day.
-Oh yes.
That's when we do
the party pieces.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): What's that?
-Well, my father started it.
He was a doctor,
but he always wished
he'd gone into the theater.
So we had these little
acts we did for each other.
Nothing much.
-What did you do?
-I played my tipple and sang.
-Your tipple? [LAUGHS]
Oh, I'd like to see that!
-Oh, so you can laugh at me.
-Of course I can laugh at you!
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh, very well.
All right.
Remember, you asked for it.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHS]
-Oh well, there he is.
Well, tipple.
[LAUGHS] Let's see if
she's still in tune.
[PLAYING UKULELE]
[SINGING] Oh Yama,
Yama, Yama man.
Terrible eyes and cheeks of tan.
And if you don't watch out,
he'll get you without a doubt
if he can.
Oh baby.
Maybe he's hiding
under the stair,
waiting to spring
out at you unaware.
So run to your llama.
Beware of the Yama, Yama man.
-[LAUGHING]
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Oh! [LAUGHING]
[APPLAUDING]
-Ah now.
Now it's your turn.
-Oh, I can't sing. [LAUGHS]
-Anything.
Recite something.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Oh.
OK.
I'll give you a poem.
[LAUGHS]
A single flower he
sent me since we met.
All tenderly his
messenger he chose.
Deep-hearted, pure, with
scented dew still wet.
One perfect rose.
Why is it no one's
ever sent me yet
one perfect limousine,
do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my
luck to get one perfect rose.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): [LAUGHS]
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
It's Dorothy Parker.
-[LAUGHING]
-I should never have come here.
-Well why?
Aren't we having a good time?
-That's why.
-I don't understand.
-I'm a fraud.
-What sort of fraud?
-Just not what you think.
-Well, how do you
know what I think?
I don't even know myself.
This is here.
This is now.
I like you.
And why can't that be enough?
That's what you said, remember?
-I remember.
Your wife didn't really like
coming here very much, did she?
-Why do you say that?
-I'm right, aren't I?
-Florence uh, liked company.
She always had so
many things to do,
it wasn't easy for
her to get away.
She was a city girl.
Always had been.
-Let her go, John.
That part of the plan is over.
-That's the first time
you've used my name.
-Yes.
-Iris.
That's the first time
I've used your name.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): Yes.
-Do you think I'm
holding onto her?
-It's none of my business.
I should never have come.
-So why did you?
Because you were lonely.
Say it.
It's not such a shameful secret.
I'm lonely.
OK, I can say it.
-I never thought I'd
like you so much.
-What's so terrible about that?
-[CRYING]
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Aw, come here.
Come here.
No strings.
Just a hug.
-[WEEPING]
[OWL HOOTING]
-[COUGHS]
[MUSIC-BEETHOVEN,_"FUR_ELISE"]
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
Anything I can do?
[DOOR CLOSING]
-I thought I'd make
myself useful for once.
-Find everything?
-As much as I needed.
I may have made the
coffee too strong.
-Well, strong is how I like it.
-I like you better
when you, when
you're not sure what's going on.
-I haven't known what's been
going on since I met you.
I don't mind not
knowing this time,
so long as I understand
next time or the time
after or one day.
Oh, all packed up and
ready to go, I see?
-I thought you understood.
-What?
-There isn't going
to be a next time.
This is all it was
ever going to be.
-No, Iris.
That's not good enough anymore.
-Oh please!
-No, no!
I don't have an address.
I don't have a phone number.
I don't even know your
last name, for God's sake.
Do you want to pretend
I never existed?
-Oh please, can't
you understand?
It's, it's me who
never really existed!
-Well then, who have
I been talking to
for the last two days?
Myself?
Why Iris?
Just tell me why!
Give me a reason!
We're not strangers anymore.
Maybe you wish we were.
But we aren't.
We've come close
these last two days.
You know it.
-Yes.
-Well then, give
me one good reason
why we shouldn't come closer.
-Because I'm married!
I'm sorry.
I didn't want to
have to tell you.
He couldn't find anyone.
Christmas is a difficult time.
We needed the money.
You've probably never known
what it's like to need money.
When you don't have
any, $500 is a lot.
-The man at the agency
is your husband.
-Yes.
-[SIGHS] How could he?
-He said I should do it,
that it would be all right.
He said you were safe.
-Safe?
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
He said you were--
-Safe!
Nobody is safe today!
How could he send
you out like this?
How could he know I was safe?
I was someone who walked
in off the street!
And you, you love him?
-He's my husband.
-Ah.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN): You probably
can't understand this.
I'm not even sure I do.
You can get involved
with the craziest people.
You can love someone
even if he's no good.
You just love him and he's
no good and that's how it is.
-[SIGHS].
Have I been an old fool?
-I wish you had been.
And I wouldn't mind.
-You do mind?
-Yes.
-So, your plan hasn't
worked out either?
-No.
I've never done this
before in all my life.
I'll never do it again.
-I would've thought there
were easier ways to earn $500.
IRIS (OFFSCREEN):
You'll get it all back!
-I don't want it back.
I paid for company at Christmas.
I got it.
You've been the best company
I could've hoped for.
-All I've done is
played stupid mysteries
and talked a lot of nonsense
about your marriage.
JOHN (OFFSCREEN):
It wasn't nonsense.
It was the truth.
The truth about me.
-That's not what you paid for.
-Isn't it?
What did I think I was
doing, going off alone
with some strange woman?
What was I trying to prove?
That I'm not alone?
But I am.
-Maybe that life isn't over yet.
-Yes.
-Maybe you were
breaking a spell.
-Maybe I was.
[ENGINE STARTING]
-Ah. [LAUGHS].
I don't seem to know
how to say goodbye.
-Then don't.
Thank you John, for
a lovely Christmas.
-How you doing, Mr. Tanner?
Some more coffee?
-Oh thank you, Dora.
That'd be fine.
Dora, see if you can
get the name of the book
that lady's reading.
-She says she'll trade you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]