The Bowery (1933) - full transcript

♪ The Bowery, the Bowery ♪

♪ They say such things
and they do such things ♪

♪ On the Bowery, the Bowery ♪

♪ I'll never go there any more ♪

♪ My Daddy's on the engine ♪

♪ But don't you be afraid

♪ Daddy knows what he's doing ♪

♪ Replied the little maid

♪ We'll soon be out of danger

♪ Oh, don't you ever fear

♪ Everyone is safe because



♪ My Dad's the engineer

Hey, hey, gimme a match,
will you, please?

You're coming
to the right place!

You're all right!

Say, listen, there's
the finest table in the city!

I am a stylist,

and I'm gonna make you
look like a Beau Brummell.

And here I have a some
solid gold collar buttons.

- All that gold?
- Better than gold.

- Who's next! Who's next?
- We're all there.

Here we are, folks.

I've got a genuine fireproof
celluloid collar!

Genuine fireproof celluloid--

Hey, get that guy!



♪ When Irish eyes
are smiling... ♪

Hello, Chuck!

Hello, there, Ike. Hi.

♪ In the lilt
of Irish laughter ♪

How do you like that,
Mr. Connors?

Perfect, me lad, perfect.

♪ When Irish eyes are happy ♪

♪ All the world
seems bright and gay... ♪

Give me the derby, sir.

I takes care of that
meself personally.

♪ when Irish eyes are smiling ♪

Thank you very much,
Mr. Connors.

Thank you very much.

♪ For they steal
your heart away ♪

Swipesy!

Swipes!

Now wait a minute.
Hold your horses.

What's this all about?

Aw, go on, go on, go on.

Go on. I'll take care
of this guy.

Now listen here, Swipesy,

you gotta stop
throwing them rocks

at them Chinamen's windows

or I'm gonna have
to throw you out.

You can go right back
to the gutter

where I picked you up at,

eating out of them garbage cans

and sleeping in the gutters

and hiding in the cellars

from them orphan asylum coppers.

But, Chuck, it was only
a chink's window.

I know, but a window's a window.

You know, when I picked you up,

you told me that you'd be the
right kind of a guy with me.

I got a reputation down here.

Me friends don't want
to see me be followed about

by a little punk that's always
throwing rocks through windows.

It ain't refined.

Now stop it and be a good boy.

Come on.

Hey, who done that?

Steve Brodie
was passing by here,

and the guys dared him

to heave a rotten mushmelon
at your name.

You know, Steve Brodie
never takes a dare.

He did, did he?

Well, someday that four-flusher
will take a dare

that'll land him in the morgue
with a lily on his chest.

He might.

- Hey, Chuck.
- Yeah?

- Stake me?
- Sure.

Half a buck.

Thanks, pal.

Hi, Mr. Connors.

Could I talk to you?

See me later, Bo.

See me later. Later.

- Hello, Chuck!
- Oh! Hi! Hi!

Hello, gang. Oh, hi!

How you doing?

Come on! The drinks
are on the house!

Come on, everybody.

Hey!

Hi, Chuck!

♪ A sweet tuxedo girl you see ♪

♪ A queen of swell society

♪ Fond of fun as fond can be ♪

♪ When it's on the strict Q.T. ♪

♪ I'm not too old,
I'm not too young ♪

♪ Not too timid, not too bold

♪ Just the kind
you'd like to hold ♪

♪ Just the kind for sport
I'm told ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra
Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra
Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra
Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra
Boom-de-ay! ♪

Lookit, Chuck.

I traded cigarette pictures
with the Guinea kids.

I gave 'em Maggie Kline
and P.T. Barnum

for Frankie, Billy
and Lillian Russell.

- Yeah?
- Ain't they pips?

Aw, you're too young to
be lookin' at those things.

Why don't you get pictures of
Buffalo Bill and Jake Kilrain

and Phil Muldoon
and those boys, huh?

Aw, they ain't good-looking
like the skirts.

Yeah, get your mind
off the skirts.

They're worse than the booze is.

They fill you full of hot air,

and all they want
is your spondoolicks.

Remember what I always
tells you?

This is a man's world.

This is a man's world.

Never believe in women.

There's none of 'em
on the up and up.

Am I right?

- Right.
- Right.

Why, there's Chuck.

Hey, Chuck!

Hey, Chucksy!

Come on.
You and me is gonna done

what we left off last night.

Hey, get outta here.

Can't you see I'm busy,
you gas bag?

Get outta here.

Say, you can't get rid of me,
you big bull moose.

Ain't you the sweet one?

I could just eat you alive,
you big bear, you.

Tryin' to high-hat me

after what you done to me
in Tony Pastor's gallery.

And maybe you don't remember
that day at Fort George.

See? What did I tell you
about them crows?

They're all just the same.

They're as nutty as fruitcake.

You get me?

Sure thing, Chuck.

Go on.
Time for you to go on home.

Now your time's up.

And don't go roamin' around,
you understand?

Oh, but, Chuck, I promised
to stop by Nigger Joe's.

What have I told you
about that coon?

And no throwing any more rocks
at that Chinese laundry.

Them chinks are me friends.
23-skidoo.

Aw, I won't stop
at Joe's, Chuck,

but, please, just once

let me throw just one
little rock at the chinks.

Aw, come on, please.

Just one little one.
Come on.

All right, just one.

Heave just one.
That's all.

Gee, Chuck, you're all mustard!

Oh, stop that!

People'll think I'm your mother.

Now go on home
and straighten up the joint.

It looked crummy this morning.

And throw them cats
outta there, too.

That's my kid, hmm?

Thanks.

Can I speak to you
a minute, Chuck?

Certainly,
if you're not tongue-tied.

I was thinking I'd like
to join your fire brigade.

Yeah?

I wanna get on
the right brigade.

I looked 'em all over
and picked yours.

You did?
Well, say, listen,

everybody wants to get on the
Chuck Connors' fire brigade.

Why, we've got a waiting list
as high as that Brooklyn Bridge.

Well, if you ain't
taking nobody,

I could join
Steve Brodie's outfit.

Hey, listen. Don't mention that
pot's name around here.

Anybody can get into
Steve Brodie's fire brigade.

Chuck Connors
picks his men personally.

Sure, I know, I know.

That's why I wanna hook up
with you, Chuck.

Well, have you got
the $200 for the joiner?

I can pay me way.

I know you're pretty fast
with your dukes,

but can you take it?

Can I? Say, I been
knuckle-dusting for years.

So you can stand the gaff, huh?

Any time.

Stick it out.

Perfect, me lad, perfect!

Go on over
to the fire headquarters

and get your helmet.

Hey, Chuck, Steve Brodie's
on his way up here.

Yeah?

Well, let him come.

His mazuma's just the same
as anybody else's.

♪ Jack is the king
of the deep blue sea ♪

♪ Jack is as brave
as the brave can be ♪

♪ He's the boy the girls adore ♪

♪ Oh, what fun
when Jack's ashore ♪

♪ For he is the fellow
makes things hum ♪

♪ Oh, how they sigh
when they see him come ♪

♪ Loaded down
with gold so bright ♪

♪ Welcome home, Jack,
you're all right ♪

♪ Strike up the band,
here comes the sailor ♪

♪ Cash in his hand
just off the whaler ♪

♪ Stand in a row,
don't let him go ♪

♪ Jack's a cinch,
but every inch a sailor ♪

♪ Strike up the band,
here comes the sailor ♪

♪ Cash in his hand
just off the whaler ♪

♪ Stand in a row,
don't let him go ♪

♪ Jack's a cinch,
but every inch a sailor ♪

Hi, kids.

Hiya. Hiya, pal.

Evening, Mr. Connors.

Pleasure to see your
happy smiling face again.

None of your lip or I'll--

What's eating you, Chuck?

So you're goin' back to
your kindergarten days again,

throwing mushmelons.

I had to do it, Chuck.

A gink dares me
to hit the "o" in Connors

on your front window.

You know me.

I couldn't take a dare, could I?

So I takes the mushmelon?

And I wins the bet.

Two Nelly Blyes.
Here's your share.

Don't ever say
I never give you nothin'.

Let's sashay, Trixie.

I got you, Steve.

You devil, you.

There's a big fire
on Mount Street!

There's a big fire on
Mount Street!

All members of the
Chuck Connors fire brigade

report to headquarters at once!

Steve Brodie volunteers,
come on!

Here you are.

Come on, Connors!
You better get going!

Yeah? I bet you $100 I throw the
first hose on that fire!

You're on!

What started the fire?

Some guy threw a rock
through the chink's window

and busted the lamp.

Up she goes.

Here comes Steve Brodie's
brigade, boys.

Here comes Steve Brodie!

- Steve Brodie wins!
- Steve Brodie's boys!

- Here comes Steve!
- Three cheers for Steve!

Hooray! Hooray!

Come on, you guys!

Chuck, come here!

Hey! I thought I told you
to go home, you hoodlum!

I'm saving a hydrant for you!

Where? Get off of it!

Come on! Let's get on
this tie-up here!

Go on! Get on there!
Let's go!

Hey, you lay off that!
I got here first!

Yeah? Well, put out
that fire!

In the name of the law, stop!

Hi, Steve.

Hiya, Slick.

I got something rich
for you, Steve.

Yeah?

I know a guy
that hates Chuck Connors

the same way you do.

Yeah?

This guy has got
a little pill, see.

And for the right mazuma,

he'll slip it
into Chuck's coffee.

- Where is he?
- He's waiting. Come on.

This is Googy Cochran
from Jersey City.

Hiya.

I told him about
the pills, Googy.

How much you gonna nick me
for the job?

500 bucks.

You sure it'll work?

Guaranteed.

Wait a minute. I wanna be sure
there's nobody listening.

It's a cinch.

You got the junk with you?

This is stuff
we makes ourselves.

Now let me get this straight.

For 500 bucks,

you're willing to put Connors
under the daisies?

- That's it.
- Why, you--

Don't ever say
I never give you nothin'.

Here, look at that.

Oh...

Read it, read it, read it.

Read all about me.
Me eyes are tired.

Yeah?

Well, if it ain't
Little Boy Blue.

Where's your horn?

I'm here on business.

I got another match
for your Bloody Butch.

Yeah, well, any time,
any place, anybody.

500 bucks says I got the boy

that can wipe up the floor
with him.

It's a bet, it's a bet.

Just name the time and place.

How about right here
Saturday night?

Swell. You can bury
your man on Sunday.

Give me the cash.

Here's the bet.

Witness here 500 a side.

Chuck Connors' Bloody Butch
against Steve Brodie's--

Who's your man, Steve?

You can call him
the Masked Marvel.

The Masked Marvel?

What's the matter, is he ashamed
to show his face?

Not at all, not at all.

Here you are, Chuck.

Don't ever say
I never give you nothin'.

Thanks, Brodie.

I'll smoke me own.

Here you are, Chuck.

Remember, don't ever say
I never give you nothin'.

Quiet...!

Quiet!

Gentlemen of the Fourth Ward
and their friends,

in this corner,

we have the well-known
Fourth Ward boy,

Chuck Connors!

Attaboy, Chuck!

Presenting his undefeated
protégé, Bloody Butch!

Knock him out, Butch.

And in this corner,

another well-known
Fourth Ward boy,

Steve Brodie!

Presenting a man
we know nothin' about,

but who looks like
a worthy contestant

known as the Masked Marvel!

Here you go.

I warn youse punks,
no hitting below the belt

and no biting or kicking
in the clinches.

Butch, if you so much as
sink a tooth in his ear,

I'll lay you out myself.

Are you ready?

Come on, get in there.

Come on there, Butch.

Come on, get up! Get up!

One, two, three,

four, five, six...

Get up, you big lummox!

No use counting no more!
He's out for the night!

Hey, who is this guy?

Pull off his mask
and I'll fight him meself!

Allow me to introduce
the Boston strong boy,

John L. Sullivan!

What's your name?

Lucy Calhoun.

Lucy Calhoun.
That's a pretty name.

You have everything you need?

We'll take her down to Macy's

and buy her up.

- Hello, Connors.
- Hello, Chuck.

Hey, were you ever
in this joint before?

No. No, sir.

Go on and roll your hoop
someplace else!

- Oh, what's the big idea?
- Aw, sit down.

Come on, get outta there.
Get outta there. Come on.

I haven't done anything wrong.

These gentlemen said they
were gonna help me find a job.

Help you?

Yeah. Go on.

Roll your hoop.
Roll your hoop.

Well, I didn't know.

- Go on, lady.
- I'm sorry.

Go on, sit down!
Now stay where you are!

You're gonna stay right there
until she gets in the clear.

And, listen, it's all right

for you to spend
your mazuma around here,

but don't go trying to hook
no new girls outta this joint.

I know what your traffic is
and what you're up to.

I don't wanna get mixed
with the law, see?

Drink your slops.
It's paid for.

Hi, baby.

♪ I love you
as I never loved before ♪

♪ Never loved before

♪ When first I met you
on the village green ♪

♪ On the village green...

- Hey, Chuck?
- Yeah?

Oh, here's a half a yard
for you.

Oh, it's you, huh?

Mr. Connors,
I want to thank you.

I've been waiting all night
to thank you.

That's nothin', that's nothin'.

But it meant a great deal to me.

You see, I was looking for work,

and those men said
they had a job for me.

Yeah, what a job.

You're the only one
that's been really kind.

I wonder if you'd help me?

Oh, no. I ain't got
no time for the girls.

Can you dance?

Let's see your shape.

I can't dance,
but I'll scrub floors.

I'll do anything.

You see me tomorrow.
See me tomorrow.

Please, Mr. Connors.

You don't know
what this means to me.

Hey, have you got
any place to flop?

- Flop?
- Yeah, sleep.

Oh. I'm ashamed to say so,
but I haven't.

Well, your story
sounds phony to me,

but I'll take a chance that
you're on the up and up.

Come on, skirt.

Rye or bourbon?

No, thank you.
I don't drink.

That's me spare boudoir
for the guests.

You'll find a lot of blankets
in the bottom drawer there.

Be sure and turn out that gas,

or the joint will go up
like a firecracker.

Gee, I been looking
for that thing for a month.

Hey, there's
a strange skirt out there.

Oh...

What's the idea

of crashing in on me
in the middle of the night?

A skirt?

Oh, yeah.

I forgot.

Some dame without dough,

and I dragged her in
for the night.

Yeah? Well, we don't want
no hairpins here.

The way she's
walkin' around our dig,

you'd think she owned the joint.

Oh, don't worry.

Forget about it,
forget about it.

We'll slip her a buck
and give her the breeze.

Say, the place looks perfect.

I didn't recognize it.

I hope you don't mind.

I got your breakfast too.

Swell.

Go get some duds on.

You know better than
to come in here like that.

Go on! Get 'em on.

I'll be right back in a minute.

Oh, those cats
go outta here today.

Here, you're drowning
yourself in that sausage.

Stop that! Don't do that
when she's around, yeah?

Ain't you got no manners?

What's your name?

- Lucy Calhoun.
- Lucy Calhoun.

Say, Chuck,
ain't you forgot something?

How about that buck
and the breeze?

Eat your mush.

That's my buck, and I'll do
with it what I wants to.

Yeah, too much, too.

Where you from?

Albany.

Albany. Mm-mm.

And what you doin' here?

Well, you see,
my family had an idea

that I ought to teach school.

I wanted to get someplace
in the world, be somebody.

I always wanted to write.

Be a novelist, you know.

When I first came here,
I worked in a book shop.

Then it closed.

My money ran out.

The night before last,
I slept in Union Square.

Then yesterday
I met those two men.

They offered me
something to eat,

so I didn't realize
what they were until you...

I can't let it lick me
like this.

I got to get a job
someplace today.

Oh, that's all right.

You got a job already.

Oh, rats!

You mean
you'll let me work here?

- Sure. Why not?
- Oh.

That's all right.

We got a landlady.

She comes up about once a week,

but her cooking
ain't no Delmonico's.

And the joint always looks
crummy--looks fierce always.

Why, Mr. Connors,
I hardly know what to say.

How about that buck
and the breeze?

Pipe down, pipe down.

We'll pay you what it's worth,

and you can have your eats
here with us.

Well, I gotta fix you up now.

I know.

Swipesy, you move your trash
out of the bedroom there

and you can sleep in here
on the sofa.

But his room?
I couldn't--

Oh, think nothin' of it.

Think nothin' of it!

Why, he likes to sleep
in here on the sofa.

He's always asking me if he can.

Ain't you, Swipes?

You know, Chuck,
you're a great guy,

and you knows I'm your pal.

But sometimes you sound
like you're full of hop.

What kind of talk is that?
What kind of talk is that?

Are you going to be a gentleman
to this lady or ain't you?

Don't pay no attention
to him, miss.

Just go ahead
and make yourself to home

and clean up the--
well, you know what to do.

I gotta go over to Brooklyn
to the brewery.

I got to see a guy.

You don't need to get any supper

until you hear from me, huh?

Goodbye, Mr. Connors.

You don't need to call me
Mr. Connors, Lucy.

Just call me Chuck.

Uh-oh.

Oh!

Hello, Swipes.

Hey, lamp this.

Aw, I seen that.

Hey, what about the eats?

I don't know.

You don't know?
Where's Lucy?

I don't know.

Hey, I'm asking you,
where is she?

Maybe she flew the coop.

What?

I ain't seen her around.

Why, that's funny.

Maybe she threw down the job.

You know, skirts don't like
dishwashing for a steady thing.

Yeah, but she wouldn't go away
without saying something.

You said never to trust a skirt.

They're never on the up and up.

You said so, didn't you?

Why, that's her hat and coat.

Say...

Come on now.
Where is she?

How do I know?

I don't worry about girls.

This is a man's world.

Skirts is all nutty
like a fruitcake.

You said so yourself.

Where's that key?

Hey! What--

What the--

Why, you--

So that's the kind of a kid
you are, huh?

The minute me back is turned,

you pull a dirty trick,
don't you?

Yeah, and I'd do it again
with pleasure.

You would, would you?

Oh, he didn't mean
anything wrong.

He was just playing.
All boys are like that.

You keep outta this.
We don't want you here.

You might as well put that
in your pipe and smoke it.

You stop that!

You want me to tan
your little hide for you?

Now you go ahead
and apologize to the lady.

Take it back now.

I ain't gonna apologize

to no skirt
you picked off the corner.

Well, that's the finish.

- You come here.
- Chuck!

You know better than to
say that to her, don't you?

Oh, Chuck!

Chuck, stop it!

Are you going to do that
anymore? Huh?

Now what do you got
to say for yourself?

The whipping didn't hurt, Chuck.

You couldn't hurt nobody.

It's just that you had to go
and do it in front of her.

Please go and tell him
you're sorry.

Oh, no.
He'll be all right.

I'll let him throw a couple of
rocks at the chinks, that's all.

I wouldn't for the world
come between you two.

You're such good friends.

Aw, don't you worry.

He and me's had fights before.

Sure. You know,
I ain't gonna let him

get fresh with no lady
like you, Lucy.

I gotta make him toe the mark.

I want him to grow up
to be a great guy,

and I got to teach him
his manners

or he'll grow up to be a bum.

Then everybody'll say that
Chuck Connors is no good

because the kid
ain't no gentleman.

I got a reputation
to think about,

and that means a lot
down here on this Bowery.

And I want that kid
to mean a lot, too, see?

I want him to be a big, fine--

Hey, Swipes, what's the idea?

Chuck! Go get him, quick!

Aw, that's all right.

He's my boy.

He's my Swipesy.
He'll be back.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

Thanks.

Hey, wait a minute!
Where you going?

Come on, Trixie,
be a good little girl.

It's getting late
in the morning.

You have to go home.
Come on.

- No, no, no.
- Come on. Come on.

Why don't you
be a lady and go home?

Whee!

How do you like that? Hey!

Come on, get in the cab there!

Come on, I've had
enough of this.

Come on, get in there.

Do you love me?

Sure, I love you.
Certainly I love you.

Drive around the block
until she sobers up,

then drop her off
at the Aquarium.

- Ain't she got a husband?
- That's your worry.

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra
Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra
Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra--

Well, well, if it ain't Swipes.

What are you doin' around here?

Oh, hello, Steve.

I didn't know
this was your joint.

I had to sleep somewheres.

I thought you were living
with Chuck.

Oh, him and me
are still friends,

but we had a little argument.

Hmm, you don't tell me.

Yeah. He kicked me out
for a skirt.

Hmm, one of the girls
from the joint?

No. This is one he picked up off
the street.

Oh.

Well, there's no sense
in sleeping around here.

Come on.
You can move in with me.

I got plenty of room.

Oh, no, thanks, Steve.
I couldn't do that.

Come on.
I got a nice feather bed,

and it's nice and warm.

Well, can I bring me cat?

Sure thing.
Say, I'm crazy about cats.

And I always liked you too,
Swipes,

even if you was Chuck's pal.

Come on, let's hit the hay, huh?

I just dropped by to see Chuck.

I'm sorry, but he's not here.

Oh, that's all right.
I'll wait.

But he might be gone
until evening.

Well, if he
don't come back soon,

I can leave a note, can't I?

You know, me and Chuck's
old pals.

Funny I ain't never
seen you before.

Well, I've only been working for
Mr. Connors a short while.

Working?

Oh, yeah.

They calls it by another name
in my neighborhood.

You said you wanted
to write a note?

Sure.

I got to hand it to Chuck.

He's got better taste
than I thought.

- Please!
- Aw, don't get sore.

I just wanna be good friends
with you, that's all.

You're Chuck's girl,
and Chuck is my pal.

There's no harm in that,
is there?

You let me go.

Come on.
Slip Stevie a little kiss.

You dirty, little--

You got teeth like a tiger.

What's the big rush?

We're even, ain't we?

You bit me
and I took a sock at you.

There's nothing wrong
with that, is there?

Let me alone!
Let me out of here!

Calm down, calm down.

I promise I won't hit you again.

That is, if you don't bite me.

I wouldn't hit a girl like you,

but I thought
you were the other kind.

How is a guy supposed to know?

They almost look alike
sometimes.

And now I'm gonna
tell you the truth.

I didn't come up here
to see Connors.

I wanted to see you.

I thought you and Chuck was...

Well, you know.

And Chuck and me
ain't the pals like I said.

When I can put something
over on him, I does.

I figured if I could
move in on him with you,

I could give him
the big horse laugh.

Gee, I'm sorry, lady.

Whew.

You know,
that's the longest speech

I ever made in my life.

I'm sorry about your hand.

Oh, forget about it.
That's nothin'.

I can fix it right up.

All over the floor.
Can you beat it?

Look, if you only got a job here

and you ain't stuck on Chuck,

there's no reason why you and I

can't be good friends, is there?

Sure, there ain't.

Hold still, please.

We could go out sometime,
couldn't we?

Just you and me?

You'd better go.

Right now, if you please.

But I'm gonna
see you again, ain't I?

I'm sure I don't know.

Well, then I'll call you up
on the telephone.

I wouldn't even know your name.

Pardon me. I forgot.

Why, I'm Steve Brodie.

You heard of me, ain't you?

No.

Gee.

Well, anyway,
I'll call you up, lady.

How are you?

Gee, you ain't
still sore at me, are you?

Oh, we ain't gonna let nothin'
come between you and me.

She's a swell girl, Swipes.

Honest, she is.

Oh, by the way,
your cat's got kittens again.

Four he's and seven she's.

That's...

Me friends and me's
gonna give a picnic,

and we're goin' down
to the beach.

You come on and go along,
and then we'll go back home,

you and me together, huh?

Gee, it's wonderful here, ain't
it?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I been battin' around

with all the tramps
and good time Charlies so long,

it seems like a dream being out
with anybody like you, Lucy.

And it sure took a lot of nerve

telling you I loved you

and expecting you to believe it.

You do believe it, don't you?

Yes, Steve.

And you love me, too?

Of course I do.

Then what's worrying you, honey
bunch?

You know.

- Chuck, eh?
- Mm-hmm.

What are you worried
about a guy like that for?

Well, I wouldn't
want to hurt him.

He's been so good to me.

Well, you gotta think
of yourself, too.

Are we gonna go on
like this forever,

always going places
so people can't see us?

- Steve?
- Yeah.

You don't mind if
I ask you something, do you?

No.

How do you make your money?

Gambling.

But isn't that against the law?

Sure, but what of it?

Maybe the law's wrong.

You don't think
keeping a saloon is better.

It's honest.

Well, I'll be keeping
a saloon one of these days.

A big one, too.
Bigger than Connors'.

Why is it that you two
are such great enemies?

Because we both
want the same things.

You, for instance.

You know, I believe if Chuck
knew I was in love with you,

he'd kill us both.

Yeah? What do you think
I'd be doing?

- How does it fit, Chuck?
- Perfect, me lad, perfect!

Look it over, will ya?

All right.
Wait a second here.

Let's go down where the
bathing beauties are! Come on!

Okay! Gentlemen
of the Fourth Ward, line up!

All right!

Brodie. Steve.

Well, well,
if it ain't Mr. Herman.

How is the big brewer
from uptown?

Say, we was looking
all over for you.

Oh, this is my partner,
Mr. Rummel.

Let's take a little walk
down the stem.

We'd like to have a few words
with you on the Q.T., huh?

Sure.

You see, the problem
with the brewery...

That is what bothers us.

Our beer is not represented
on the Bowery.

We are closed out on all sides.

You see, Mr. Brodie,

we brew the best lager beer
in the United States,

but the Ace Brewery people
have everything rolled up tight.

Now, next to Chuck Connors,

you are the most popular man
on the street.

What do you mean,
next to Connors?

Say, I can put it over
on that hooligan

at anything
from women to vinegar.

If you could only do something

that would bring your name
into prominence.

Say, I've been in
the Police Gazette, ain't I?

Yes, yes, yes, but
we mean something important.

Headlines in the papers.

The whole town
talking about you.

Something that would make
people run to patronize

any place that
had your name over the door.

You see, Mr. Brodie, if you
could build yourself up,

we would open up a saloon
with your name

in letters you could read
from here over to Brooklyn.

Brooklyn?

Brooklyn Bridge.

Yes, but it would have
to be something spectacular.

Something sensational.

That's just what
I been waiting for.

You see that bridge?

Yeah.

Well, I thought about it
lots of times

looking at it out of my window.

They calls it
the eighth wonder of the world.

People come from everywhere
just to look at it.

If a guy jumped off that bridge,

the whole world
would know about it.

You mean, you'll jump off
from the Brooklyn Bridge?

Why not?
You said you wanted

something spectacular,
didn't you?

Yes, but you couldn't
do that and live, could you?

Well, you can't name a saloon
after a dead man, can you?

We want to get our lager planted
down here,

but it isn't worth
killing a man to do it.

Leave it to me, Mr. Herman.

I'll take the chance.

Now let's get
this thing straight.

I bet you
that you ain't got the nerve

to go through with your boast

and jump off
the Brooklyn Bridge, right?

Right.
And if I makes the jump,

I become the sole owner
and proprietor

of this saloon, right?

It's a bet.

And if you croak,
we'll bury you free.

Come on, boys.
Let's get outta this joint.

I'm beginning to itch.

Don't get personal.

No hard feelings, Chuck.

Here. Don't ever say
I never give you nothin'.

Still trying to be funny, ain't
you, huh?

Oh!

Steve Brodie, he gonna jump off
the Brooklyn Bridge.

Aw, he'll kill himself.

Steve's gonna jump off
the Brooklyn Bridge.

All right, champ, let's go!

- I bet he does.
- I'll bet he don't!

- I bet he does.
- Put up or shut up!

It's agin' the law!

Get a statement from Brodie.

Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!

He ain't got
a Chinaman's chance.

I got a hunch he'll make it.

I'll bet you the devil
breaks his neck.

Brodie should make
the jump, not me.

Brooklyn Bridge!

Just a bozo,
but I hope he makes it.

If he makes it, he's famous!

I'm telling you,
it's the talk of the town!

Please, Steve, please.

If you really love me,
don't do it.

Everybody says you'll be killed.

Why, if I thought
it would hurt you in the least,

I wouldn't even think of it.

Now be a good girl
and promise me not to worry.

I loves you more than ever,

and it won't be long

before we're treading
the light fantastic together

right in the open

with no Connors to worry about.

Well, of course, Steve,

if you're perfectly sure
everything will be all right.

Yes, of course, I do.

I miss you, too.

Did you get that, honey?

Don't ever say
I never give you nothin'.

Bye.

Hey, Steve Brodie,
take a look at yourself.

Now get this in your bean.

Nobody knows about this
but us three.

It's a good thing
you can't talk, Mumbo.

And if anything goes wrong,

you won't be able
to hear, neither.

I'll cut off your ears
and make you eat 'em.

Well, what's gonna happen to--
Well, you know who I mean.

After you wins the bet and
takes his joint away from him?

You told me you were finished
with him, didn't you?

You told me
you didn't like him no more.

Well, I was just
wondering, that's all.

Well, tomorrow,
I'll be in Chuck's shoes

and he'll be in mine,

and, boy, how they'll pinch him.

Yeah, come on.
Let's get outta here.

Get that blanket.

All right.
Come on, boys.

We only got a half an hour.

Let's get this funeral
over with, huh?

Suppose he don't jump?

Aw, we'll bury him anyway.

Here's your spyglass, chief.

Come on!

Get right in those carriages.
Sit right down.

Thank you.

Get right in.
Let's get to going here.

Chuck! Chuck!

What's eating on you?

Carrie Nation is on the warpath.

She just made mincemeat
outta McGurk's saloon

and she's headed this way.

Aw, she won't bother me.

She knows enough
not to fool with Chuck Connors.

That's where you're all wrong.

She said she was gonna
chop up Suicide Hall

and then come down here.

Better stay right here, Chuck.

It'll take kid gloves
to handle that old battleax.

All right. You go ahead.

And when he jumps,
hand him that and an anchor.

Go ahead.

Go on.

Holy gee! I been waiting
five years

to see that mulligan
cook in his own stew,

and now I has to miss it.

I'll be waiting
under that first pillar.

Now, don't take any chances.

Stay in the bottom of the cab

until you get to the place
where I showed you.

Then throw the dummy
with all your might.

The coppers are watching
both ends of the bridge,

and if anybody asks you
where you're going,

tell 'em your grandmother
is sick in Canarsie.

Here. You take care of my derby.

- Good luck, Steve.
- All right, Swipes.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

Hey, Steve, Steve!
The dummy's gone!

What do you mean?

Somebody's copped it!
We can't find it!

Mumbo's been looking all over
the warehouse for it.

What?

What did you
do with it, you rat?

Spit it out, or I'll kill you!

He didn't know, Steve, honest.
There was somebody else!

Somebody got hip to us
and copped it!

We're for you, Steve.

Congratulations, Steve.

We know you can do it alive.

Get on your ted, dummy.
We're on our way.

Steve, you can't do it!
You wouldn't dare!

Dare? Listen, Swipes,

nobody could ever say that
Steve Brodie never took a dare.

But the cops will stop you!

You'll get pinched!

I gotta take the chance.

Tack yourself onto the end
of that procession,

and step on it.

Supposin' he doesn't
get killed, Papa?

Then we wasted
the whole day for nothing.

Eh.

Jump, Steve!

Jump so we can bury you!

Hey, if I wanted
to commit suicide,

I'd pick something easier
than that.

- How many?
- Three, including the hearse.

A dollar and a quarter.

Go ahead.

Yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead.

All right, go ahead, go ahead.

Aw, poor fella.
Go ahead.

How many carriages did he say?

Three carriages
including the hearse.

I counted four.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

It's a frame-up!
It's Brodie!

There he is now.

He made it! He made it!

What's all the whistles?

You ain't heard nothin' yet!

Look!
Here comes Carrie Nation!

Stand aside, you son of Satan!

Hey, listen,
this place is on the level.

This is a working man's club.

This ain't no saloon.

Oh, out of my way, you viper.

He done it!
He made the jump!

Ladies, you're absolutely right.

I'm converted.
I'm a hypocrite.

Down with demon rum!

Down with liquor!

Do your duty!

Help yourselves, ladies!
Help yourselves!

Ah, she's finished!

You like, eh, Steve?

The bridge is all right,
but how about me?

Make me bigger.
Make me bigger.

But it would make you
all out of perspective.

Well, who made the jump,
me or perspective?

And what is your name,
my good little man?

Buster Brown.

Well, if it ain't John L.

Wait a minute.

A toast, everybody,

to Steve Brodie,
the king of the Bowery!

- Speech!
- Speech!

-Speech! -Speech!

Give a speech.

Ladies and gents,
I ain't much on the gab,

but all I want to say is this.

The next time, instead
of jumping off the bridge,

I'm gonna jump over it!

Hey, Steve!
Lookit, Steve!

The battleship "Maine"

has just been blown up
in Havana Harbor!

Hey, extra's out!
Hey, extra, extra!

Army regulars
leave for Cuba! Extra!

A special extra here!

McKinley asks for volunteers!

I can get me feet on the ground

if you just give me a chance.

We depended on you
to put over our beer,

and you failed.

Brodie made a fool out of you.

Oh, I can come back.
I know I can.

You can't draw flies.
You're through.

Aw, listen, you can't
let me down like that.

Why, all I own is just
the clothes on me back.

If you had one-tenth of the
money that you lost gambling,

you could own your own saloon.

Hey, that guy
is some junkie, ain't he?

10 to one for our dough.

Hi, fellas.
How's you doing, huh?

All right.

Extra! Read all about it!

War declared with Spain!
Extra! Extra!

Extra! Extra! McKinley
asks for volunteers.

Extra! Extra!

Oh, there's no use crying
over spilt milk, Lucy.

I'm through.
I know it.

I got to keep moving.

If I stick around here,
why, I'd go loony.

Oh, Chuck, don't talk like that.

You make me feel as if
I brought you bad luck.

Nobody ever brought me
bad luck but meself.

I'm sorry for one thing, that
I can't leave you fixed right.

But a bloke like me
never saves nothin'.

But this'll kind of
take care of you.

Oh, no, Chuck.

Oh, that's all right,
Lucy. That's all right.

Chuck, I can't
let you go like this.

I can't.

Lucy, never tie yourself

to a guy
that's on the downgrade.

Extra edition! Extra!

Volunteers needed to go to Cuba!

Sign your name
on that line in full.

That's me mark.

Me name's Chuck Connors,

but everybody knows me
by that mark.

Do you wanna go to Cuba?

Oh, I wanna go anyplace
but the Bowery.

You're in the Army now.

Report here tomorrow morning
at 10 A.M.

for your uniform and equipment.

- Right here?
- Right here.

What's your name?

Lou Keel.

Sign this line here, right here.

- Did you enlist?
- Yeah.

So did I.
Boy, we'll clean 'em up!

They can't get away
with sinking the "Maine."

We'll teach 'em a lesson
they'll never forget, won't we?

Who's we fightin'?

♪ Be forgot

♪ And never brought to mind ♪

♪ Should auld acquaintance
be forgot ♪

♪ And days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ For auld lang syne, my dear ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

♪ We'll take a cup
of kindness yet ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

Holy gee.

Swipesy.

Swipesy.

Chuck, how's we doing?

Perfect, me lad.
Perfect, perfect.

Is you back with me now?

Oh, Chuck, I was never
really mad at you,

not for keeps anyway.

I ain't got
much of a place here.

It ain't no palace.

But with you with me,
why, it's swell.

Oh, we won't be here long,
Chuck.

Why, we're goin' right back up
on top of the ladder.

They could never--

Yeah, but what about
that Steve Brodie

that you was with?

He's the tops of the Bowery now.

Oh, he's a good guy,
but you know how fellas are.

When you and I were just alone
and we was doing good,

well, it didn't make
much difference then.

But now that
you're sort of down and out

and you ain't
the big boss no more,

it didn't seem fair to me
to stay away from you.

Oh, gee whiz.

It's like I'm going right back.

I can get right back up on top
now that you're with me.

They think
they've got me licked,

but they're all wrong.

Aw, I can help you
in a lot of ways, lots of ways.

Now that war's declared,

I been selling more papers
than I can carry.

Swipes, I done gone and done it.

Done what?

I joined the Army!
I'm a soldier!

I got a war on me hands!

Maybe they'll make you general
or something, huh?

Yeah, but I can't do that
now that we're back together

and I'm just gonna start
climbing for the top.

Me luck has changed.

You stay here, Swipesy.
I'll go back down there,

and I'll tell 'em what
they can do with this thing.

You clean up the joint.

I'll be right back, son.

So long.

Hey, Chuck, we've been
looking for you--

- Wait a minute!
- I have some big news for you.

Yeah? Well, I ain't got no time
to waste with you guys.

Step on the brakes.
This is important.

Yeah. Steve Brodie took your
saloon away from you, didn't he?

Yeah, well, what of it?

What if we was to tell you

he never jumped off
that bridge at all?

Well, I'd tell you that
you had rats in your belfry.

All right.
Did you see him jump?

No, but all me friends,
they saw him jump.

Well, you come with us,

and we'll show you something
that'll make your hair stand up.

Yeah, but they saw him
all standing on that bridge--

Yeah, but all the gang,
they saw him in the water.

Honest Mike and all of those
guys, they wouldn't lie.

Seeing him in the water ain't
seeing him go off the bridge.

What do you mean?

This is what made the jump.

And that guy took the dummy
in his cab

and threw it off the bridge.

Why, that guy framed me.

Why, the yellow-bellied
double-crosser!

I'll get even with him for this!

Why, I'll kill that guy!

And that is the end
of Mr. Steve Brodie.

- Get him outta here!
- Take him!

What's going on here?

What's going on here?

You dirty thief!

You welcher!

You stole this place from me,

and now you're going
to give it back!

Aw, you're crazy.

You didn't jump off
the Brooklyn Bridge.

You didn't jump off of nothin'.

I'll show you what jumped off
of Brooklyn Bridge.

This is what jumped
off of Brooklyn Bridge.

Don't believe him, boys.
It's a lie.

You know I made the jump.
You seen me, didn't you?

Yeah, right.

You guys keep outta this.

Me and Brodie
will settle this alone.

Any time, any place.
Name it.

The sooner, the better.

Tonight at 12:30 on
Grogan's Barge at the river.

I'll be there.

We're with you, Steve.

All right. Come on.
Let's break it up.

Eight to five, eight to five,
eight to five on Steve Brodie!

Now, boys, I've seen him fight.
I know what he can do.

He uses his head.
He uses his right.

He uses his left.
He uses his feet.

He uses everything
but his teeth.

Now who's gonna place
a bet, eh, gentlemen?

- 30 smackers on Steve.
- 30 smackers on Steve.

- What's your name?
- John Baron.

John Baron,
30 smackers on Steve.

Who's gonna place a bet?

I know the other guy.
He's a big hunk of meat.

He's got the brawns,
but he ain't got the brains.

Here's a pair of brass knucks.

Chuck won't know the difference.

I won't need 'em.

I can lick him fair and square.

The poor chump's all in.
He's through.

I got it on him in the speed,
the wind and the noodle.

A few socks
and it'll be all over.

Here he comes.

How are you, has-been?

I'll see you when I get back.

Don't do it, Chuck.
Please, don't.

That wasn't no fake.
I seen him do it! Don't.

I'm fixing him for good
this time.

I'll show him.
The welcher.

Come on, come on.

Watch my derby.
I'll be right back.

Sure, Steve.

Somebody's comin' in the boat!

Who is it?

- It's Steve!
- No, it ain't. It's Chuck.

You're wrong, it's Steve.
It's Steve Brodie.

It's Chuck!

Chuck?

Anyone wants to know who the
toughest guy is on the Bowery,

you tell him
to see Chuck Connors.

Three cheers for Chuck Connors!

- Chuck, old boy.
- Hey, Chuck.

All the way down the hatch!

I won't be wearing this
private's uniform very long.

I'll bet that next week
I'm an admiral.

Here's to the Admiral!

Oh, look what somebody sent me.

Nice new box of cigars, huh?

Hey, Souza,
play us a tune, will you?

♪ I'm the belle they say
of Avenue A ♪

♪ And you can bet your stuff ♪

♪ I'm mad at myself

♪ It makes me smile

♪ To think of me style

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle
they say ♪

♪ Of Avenue A

♪ You'll see me spill

♪ With Billy McTill

♪ He's the bouncer

♪ And he's loaded with style

♪ I may be gay, what say? ♪

♪ Well, out of me way

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle
of Avenue A ♪

♪ I'm the belle
they say of Avenue A ♪

♪ And you can bet your stuff

♪ I'm mad at myself

♪ It makes me smile

♪ To think of me style

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle they say
of Avenue A ♪

♪ You'll saw me spill
with Billy McTill ♪

♪ He's the bouncer
and he's loaded with style ♪

♪ I may be gay, but say,
stay out of his way ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle
of Avenue A ♪

Ladies and gentlemen!

A toast to Chuck Connors!

Ever and ever and ever!

Just a moment.

Now, when the Chuck Connors
comes back from Cuba,

me and my partner over here,

we are going to have
a big surprise for him.

We are going to build him

the biggest saloon in the world!

A bar 200 feet long

with 40 bartenders

and with gold-plated spittoons!

- Speech, Chuck!
- Speech! Speech!

Ladies and gents,
this is a pleasure.

This is what I calls perfect.

We're looking for Chuck Connors.

Which one of you is him?

That's me.
Pin it on me.

Well, you're under arrest.

For what?

Assault and battery
with intent to kill.

Assaulting who?

Steve Brodie.

He was picked up on Grogan's
Barge last night half dead.

What?

Why, that rat went
and squealed to the coppers.

Come on, you can tell that
to the judge.

Oh, what are you giving me?

Come on!

That's all right.

They can't do nothin' with me.
I'm in the Army now.

Yeah? Well, you'll be in jail in
a couple of hours. Come on.

Pipe down, you fresh guys,
or I'll pinch all of you.

Are you sure you're all right?

Of course, I'm all right.

Say, you don't think that guy
really licked me, do you?

Well, Steve, I don't know.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

Say, I got it on him in the
wind, the speed and the noodle.

I was knocking him
all over the place.

Steve! Steve!

And if I hadn't slipped,
they'd be burying him today.

Oh, Steve, you mustn't get
yourself excited. Be quiet.

Why, for a plugged nickel,
I'd go out right now

and knock his teeth out.

- Why? No.
- Here, here!

You must be quiet, Mr. Brodie.

The doctor hasn't completed
his diagnosis yet.

This may be more serious
than you realize.

The officers are here now

to have you identify
the man that hit you.

Tell 'em to bring him in.

Oh, Steve!

This stuff's the bunk.

Listen, honey,
you better wait outside,

and I'll see you
in a little while.

Oh, but, please, Steve.

Promise me you won't
start it all over again.

You never can tell what I'll do.

Go on. Wait outside.

Run along.

All right.

We haven't finished
our examination yet.

He may be suffering
from a concussion,

and it'd be dangerous
for you people

to go in there and agitate him.

Listen, Doc, I don't know
nothin' about agitating.

We're the law,

and he's got to identify
this man as his assailant.

Why, suppose he should die?

And if we didn't have
identification,

we couldn't hang you, could we?

No, no.

Well, if you insist, go ahead,

but I warn you
not to excite him.

Come on, let's get it over with.

Mr. Brodie,
the State of New York

has issued a warrant
against this man

for assault with intent to kill.

Now, before we can proceed
with the indictment,

it'll be necessary for you to
identify him as your assailant.

Well, what you waiting for?

Come on.
We haven't got all day.

I've never seen the big bag
of bologna before in my life.

He don't look strong enough
to assault a horsefly.

Are you sure this ain't
the guy that beat you up?

Nobody beat me up.

I slipped and fell down.

And I don't know nothin'
about no warrants.

Kelsey, what's the matter
with you?

I thought you said he did it.

Come on. Get outta here before
the both of us go daffy, too.

Why didn't you tell the truth?

You know I beat the tan
right off of you.

Why, you big hooligan,
if I hadn't fell down,

you'd be in the morgue by now.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stop fighting!
Cut it out!

You guys gotta be friends.

I wouldn't be friends
with that guy

if he was George Washington.

And that goes for me, too!

Yeah. Get out of there!
Come on!

Stop it!

Come on.

Now, what's the use of fighting?

The Bowery's big enough
for both of you.

Come on, shake hands.

Chuck is going to Cuba,

and you might never
see him again.

Come on, shake hands.

All right, Chuck.

Gee, that was a great scrap,
wasn't it, Steve?

It sure was.
The best I ever had.

Yeah?

I was unconscious
for three hours.

You were? I got three teeth
knocked off there

and three teeth knocked--
Oh, it was swell.

Hey, Chuck,
you're gonna be late.

They'll be waiting for you
at the Armory.

Oh, that's right.
I gotta go.

I'm goin' to Cuba, Steve.

Gee, I wish you was going along.

With a couple of guys
like you and me,

why, we could cut that war down

from three weeks to three days.

Gee, I wish I could go with you.

Well, so long, Chuck,
and good luck.

Thanks, Steve.

Hey, Steve?

Why don't you come
and go along with me?

I dare you to.

What's that?

I dare you
to come and go with me.

Can you walk?

What's the difference?
I'm going, ain't I?

What's the matter here?
You get right back to bed!

Get outta the way!
The Army's coming through!

Get out!

Aw, go on and kiss him.

I know how you feel, Lucy.

I can see it written
all over your face. Go on.

I'll be back, honey.
Don't worry.

Go ahead.

Thanks, Lucy.

Don't ever say
I never gave you nothin'.

All aboard!

Come on!

Tough we missed saying
goodbye to Swipe, isn't it?

Oh, yeah?

How's we doin', Chuck?

Perfect, me lad, perfect.