The Bowery (1933) - full transcript

"In the Gay Nineties New York had grown up into bustles and balloon Sleeves ... but The Bowery had grown younger, louder and more rowdy until it was known as the 'Livest Mile on the face of the globe' ... the cradle of men who were later to be famous." The scene opens in a saloon named "Nigger Joe's" ...

♪ The Bowery, the Bowery ♪

♪ They say such things

and they do such things ♪

♪ On the Bowery, the Bowery ♪

♪ I'll never go there any more ♪

♪ My Daddy's on the engine ♪

♪ But don't you be afraid

♪ Daddy knows what he's doing ♪

♪ Replied the little maid

♪ We'll soon be out of danger

♪ Oh, don't you ever fear

♪ Everyone is safe because

♪ My Dad's the engineer

Hey, hey, gimme a match,

will you, please?

You're coming

to the right place!

You're all right!

Say, listen, there's

the finest table in the city!

I am a stylist,

and I'm gonna make you

look like a Beau Brummell.

And here I have a some

solid gold collar buttons.

- All that gold?

- Better than gold.

- Who's next! Who's next?

- We're all there.

Here we are, folks.

I've got a genuine fireproof

celluloid collar!

Genuine fireproof celluloid--

Hey, get that guy!

♪ When Irish eyes

are smiling... ♪

Hello, Chuck!

Hello, there, Ike. Hi.

♪ In the lilt

of Irish laughter ♪

How do you like that,

Mr. Connors?

Perfect, me lad, perfect.

♪ When Irish eyes are happy ♪

♪ All the world

seems bright and gay... ♪

Give me the derby, sir.

I takes care of that

meself personally.

♪ when Irish eyes are smiling ♪

Thank you very much,

Mr. Connors.

Thank you very much.

♪ For they steal

your heart away ♪

Swipesy!

Swipes!

Now wait a minute.

Hold your horses.

What's this all about?

Aw, go on, go on, go on.

Go on. I'll take care

of this guy.

Now listen here, Swipesy,

you gotta stop

throwing them rocks

at them Chinamen's windows

or I'm gonna have

to throw you out.

You can go right back

to the gutter

where I picked you up at,

eating out of them garbage cans

and sleeping in the gutters

and hiding in the cellars

from them orphan asylum coppers.

But, Chuck, it was only

a chink's window.

I know, but a window's a window.

You know, when I picked you up,

you told me that you'd be the

right kind of a guy with me.

I got a reputation down here.

Me friends don't want

to see me be followed about

by a little punk that's always

throwing rocks through windows.

It ain't refined.

Now stop it and be a good boy.

Come on.

Hey, who done that?

Steve Brodie

was passing by here,

and the guys dared him

to heave a rotten mushmelon

at your name.

You know, Steve Brodie

never takes a dare.

He did, did he?

Well, someday that four-flusher

will take a dare

that'll land him in the morgue

with a lily on his chest.

He might.

- Hey, Chuck.

- Yeah?

- Stake me?

- Sure.

Half a buck.

Thanks, pal.

Hi, Mr. Connors.

Could I talk to you?

See me later, Bo.

See me later. Later.

- Hello, Chuck!

- Oh! Hi! Hi!

Hello, gang. Oh, hi!

How you doing?

Come on! The drinks

are on the house!

Come on, everybody.

Hey!

Hi, Chuck!

♪ A sweet tuxedo girl you see ♪

♪ A queen of swell society

♪ Fond of fun as fond can be ♪

♪ When it's on the strict Q.T. ♪

♪ I'm not too old,

I'm not too young ♪

♪ Not too timid, not too bold

♪ Just the kind

you'd like to hold ♪

♪ Just the kind for sport

I'm told ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra

Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra

Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra

Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra

Boom-de-ay! ♪

Lookit, Chuck.

I traded cigarette pictures

with the Guinea kids.

I gave 'em Maggie Kline

and P.T. Barnum

for Frankie, Billy

and Lillian Russell.

- Yeah?

- Ain't they pips?

Aw, you're too young to

be lookin' at those things.

Why don't you get pictures of

Buffalo Bill and Jake Kilrain

and Phil Muldoon

and those boys, huh?

Aw, they ain't good-looking

like the skirts.

Yeah, get your mind

off the skirts.

They're worse than the booze is.

They fill you full of hot air,

and all they want

is your spondoolicks.

Remember what I always

tells you?

This is a man's world.

This is a man's world.

Never believe in women.

There's none of 'em

on the up and up.

Am I right?

- Right.

- Right.

Why, there's Chuck.

Hey, Chuck!

Hey, Chucksy!

Come on.

You and me is gonna done

what we left off last night.

Hey, get outta here.

Can't you see I'm busy,

you gas bag?

Get outta here.

Say, you can't get rid of me,

you big bull moose.

Ain't you the sweet one?

I could just eat you alive,

you big bear, you.

Tryin' to high-hat me

after what you done to me

in Tony Pastor's gallery.

And maybe you don't remember

that day at Fort George.

See? What did I tell you

about them crows?

They're all just the same.

They're as nutty as fruitcake.

You get me?

Sure thing, Chuck.

Go on.

Time for you to go on home.

Now your time's up.

And don't go roamin' around,

you understand?

Oh, but, Chuck, I promised

to stop by Nigger Joe's.

What have I told you

about that coon?

And no throwing any more rocks

at that Chinese laundry.

Them chinks are me friends.

23-skidoo.

Aw, I won't stop

at Joe's, Chuck,

but, please, just once

let me throw just one

little rock at the chinks.

Aw, come on, please.

Just one little one.

Come on.

All right, just one.

Heave just one.

That's all.

Gee, Chuck, you're all mustard!

Oh, stop that!

People'll think I'm your mother.

Now go on home

and straighten up the joint.

It looked crummy this morning.

And throw them cats

outta there, too.

That's my kid, hmm?

Thanks.

Can I speak to you

a minute, Chuck?

Certainly,

if you're not tongue-tied.

I was thinking I'd like

to join your fire brigade.

Yeah?

I wanna get on

the right brigade.

I looked 'em all over

and picked yours.

You did?

Well, say, listen,

everybody wants to get on the

Chuck Connors' fire brigade.

Why, we've got a waiting list

as high as that Brooklyn Bridge.

Well, if you ain't

taking nobody,

I could join

Steve Brodie's outfit.

Hey, listen. Don't mention that

pot's name around here.

Anybody can get into

Steve Brodie's fire brigade.

Chuck Connors

picks his men personally.

Sure, I know, I know.

That's why I wanna hook up

with you, Chuck.

Well, have you got

the $200 for the joiner?

I can pay me way.

I know you're pretty fast

with your dukes,

but can you take it?

Can I? Say, I been

knuckle-dusting for years.

So you can stand the gaff, huh?

Any time.

Stick it out.

Perfect, me lad, perfect!

Go on over

to the fire headquarters

and get your helmet.

Hey, Chuck, Steve Brodie's

on his way up here.

Yeah?

Well, let him come.

His mazuma's just the same

as anybody else's.

♪ Jack is the king

of the deep blue sea ♪

♪ Jack is as brave

as the brave can be ♪

♪ He's the boy the girls adore ♪

♪ Oh, what fun

when Jack's ashore ♪

♪ For he is the fellow

makes things hum ♪

♪ Oh, how they sigh

when they see him come ♪

♪ Loaded down

with gold so bright ♪

♪ Welcome home, Jack,

you're all right ♪

♪ Strike up the band,

here comes the sailor ♪

♪ Cash in his hand

just off the whaler ♪

♪ Stand in a row,

don't let him go ♪

♪ Jack's a cinch,

but every inch a sailor ♪

♪ Strike up the band,

here comes the sailor ♪

♪ Cash in his hand

just off the whaler ♪

♪ Stand in a row,

don't let him go ♪

♪ Jack's a cinch,

but every inch a sailor ♪

Hi, kids.

Hiya. Hiya, pal.

Evening, Mr. Connors.

Pleasure to see your

happy smiling face again.

None of your lip or I'll--

What's eating you, Chuck?

So you're goin' back to

your kindergarten days again,

throwing mushmelons.

I had to do it, Chuck.

A gink dares me

to hit the "o" in Connors

on your front window.

You know me.

I couldn't take a dare, could I?

So I takes the mushmelon?

And I wins the bet.

Two Nelly Blyes.

Here's your share.

Don't ever say

I never give you nothin'.

Let's sashay, Trixie.

I got you, Steve.

You devil, you.

There's a big fire

on Mount Street!

There's a big fire on

Mount Street!

All members of the

Chuck Connors fire brigade

report to headquarters at once!

Steve Brodie volunteers,

come on!

Here you are.

Come on, Connors!

You better get going!

Yeah? I bet you $100 I throw the

first hose on that fire!

You're on!

What started the fire?

Some guy threw a rock

through the chink's window

and busted the lamp.

Up she goes.

Here comes Steve Brodie's

brigade, boys.

Here comes Steve Brodie!

- Steve Brodie wins!

- Steve Brodie's boys!

- Here comes Steve!

- Three cheers for Steve!

Hooray! Hooray!

Come on, you guys!

Chuck, come here!

Hey! I thought I told you

to go home, you hoodlum!

I'm saving a hydrant for you!

Where? Get off of it!

Come on! Let's get on

this tie-up here!

Go on! Get on there!

Let's go!

Hey, you lay off that!

I got here first!

Yeah? Well, put out

that fire!

In the name of the law, stop!

Hi, Steve.

Hiya, Slick.

I got something rich

for you, Steve.

Yeah?

I know a guy

that hates Chuck Connors

the same way you do.

Yeah?

This guy has got

a little pill, see.

And for the right mazuma,

he'll slip it

into Chuck's coffee.

- Where is he?

- He's waiting. Come on.

This is Googy Cochran

from Jersey City.

Hiya.

I told him about

the pills, Googy.

How much you gonna nick me

for the job?

500 bucks.

You sure it'll work?

Guaranteed.

Wait a minute. I wanna be sure

there's nobody listening.

It's a cinch.

You got the junk with you?

This is stuff

we makes ourselves.

Now let me get this straight.

For 500 bucks,

you're willing to put Connors

under the daisies?

- That's it.

- Why, you--

Don't ever say

I never give you nothin'.

Here, look at that.

Oh...

Read it, read it, read it.

Read all about me.

Me eyes are tired.

Yeah?

Well, if it ain't

Little Boy Blue.

Where's your horn?

I'm here on business.

I got another match

for your Bloody Butch.

Yeah, well, any time,

any place, anybody.

500 bucks says I got the boy

that can wipe up the floor

with him.

It's a bet, it's a bet.

Just name the time and place.

How about right here

Saturday night?

Swell. You can bury

your man on Sunday.

Give me the cash.

Here's the bet.

Witness here 500 a side.

Chuck Connors' Bloody Butch

against Steve Brodie's--

Who's your man, Steve?

You can call him

the Masked Marvel.

The Masked Marvel?

What's the matter, is he ashamed

to show his face?

Not at all, not at all.

Here you are, Chuck.

Don't ever say

I never give you nothin'.

Thanks, Brodie.

I'll smoke me own.

Here you are, Chuck.

Remember, don't ever say

I never give you nothin'.

Quiet...!

Quiet!

Gentlemen of the Fourth Ward

and their friends,

in this corner,

we have the well-known

Fourth Ward boy,

Chuck Connors!

Attaboy, Chuck!

Presenting his undefeated

protégé, Bloody Butch!

Knock him out, Butch.

And in this corner,

another well-known

Fourth Ward boy,

Steve Brodie!

Presenting a man

we know nothin' about,

but who looks like

a worthy contestant

known as the Masked Marvel!

Here you go.

I warn youse punks,

no hitting below the belt

and no biting or kicking

in the clinches.

Butch, if you so much as

sink a tooth in his ear,

I'll lay you out myself.

Are you ready?

Come on, get in there.

Come on there, Butch.

Come on, get up! Get up!

One, two, three,

four, five, six...

Get up, you big lummox!

No use counting no more!

He's out for the night!

Hey, who is this guy?

Pull off his mask

and I'll fight him meself!

Allow me to introduce

the Boston strong boy,

John L. Sullivan!

What's your name?

Lucy Calhoun.

Lucy Calhoun.

That's a pretty name.

You have everything you need?

We'll take her down to Macy's

and buy her up.

- Hello, Connors.

- Hello, Chuck.

Hey, were you ever

in this joint before?

No. No, sir.

Go on and roll your hoop

someplace else!

- Oh, what's the big idea?

- Aw, sit down.

Come on, get outta there.

Get outta there. Come on.

I haven't done anything wrong.

These gentlemen said they

were gonna help me find a job.

Help you?

Yeah. Go on.

Roll your hoop.

Roll your hoop.

Well, I didn't know.

- Go on, lady.

- I'm sorry.

Go on, sit down!

Now stay where you are!

You're gonna stay right there

until she gets in the clear.

And, listen, it's all right

for you to spend

your mazuma around here,

but don't go trying to hook

no new girls outta this joint.

I know what your traffic is

and what you're up to.

I don't wanna get mixed

with the law, see?

Drink your slops.

It's paid for.

Hi, baby.

♪ I love you

as I never loved before ♪

♪ Never loved before

♪ When first I met you

on the village green ♪

♪ On the village green...

- Hey, Chuck?

- Yeah?

Oh, here's a half a yard

for you.

Oh, it's you, huh?

Mr. Connors,

I want to thank you.

I've been waiting all night

to thank you.

That's nothin', that's nothin'.

But it meant a great deal to me.

You see, I was looking for work,

and those men said

they had a job for me.

Yeah, what a job.

You're the only one

that's been really kind.

I wonder if you'd help me?

Oh, no. I ain't got

no time for the girls.

Can you dance?

Let's see your shape.

I can't dance,

but I'll scrub floors.

I'll do anything.

You see me tomorrow.

See me tomorrow.

Please, Mr. Connors.

You don't know

what this means to me.

Hey, have you got

any place to flop?

- Flop?

- Yeah, sleep.

Oh. I'm ashamed to say so,

but I haven't.

Well, your story

sounds phony to me,

but I'll take a chance that

you're on the up and up.

Come on, skirt.

Rye or bourbon?

No, thank you.

I don't drink.

That's me spare boudoir

for the guests.

You'll find a lot of blankets

in the bottom drawer there.

Be sure and turn out that gas,

or the joint will go up

like a firecracker.

Gee, I been looking

for that thing for a month.

Hey, there's

a strange skirt out there.

Oh...

What's the idea

of crashing in on me

in the middle of the night?

A skirt?

Oh, yeah.

I forgot.

Some dame without dough,

and I dragged her in

for the night.

Yeah? Well, we don't want

no hairpins here.

The way she's

walkin' around our dig,

you'd think she owned the joint.

Oh, don't worry.

Forget about it,

forget about it.

We'll slip her a buck

and give her the breeze.

Say, the place looks perfect.

I didn't recognize it.

I hope you don't mind.

I got your breakfast too.

Swell.

Go get some duds on.

You know better than

to come in here like that.

Go on! Get 'em on.

I'll be right back in a minute.

Oh, those cats

go outta here today.

Here, you're drowning

yourself in that sausage.

Stop that! Don't do that

when she's around, yeah?

Ain't you got no manners?

What's your name?

- Lucy Calhoun.

- Lucy Calhoun.

Say, Chuck,

ain't you forgot something?

How about that buck

and the breeze?

Eat your mush.

That's my buck, and I'll do

with it what I wants to.

Yeah, too much, too.

Where you from?

Albany.

Albany. Mm-mm.

And what you doin' here?

Well, you see,

my family had an idea

that I ought to teach school.

I wanted to get someplace

in the world, be somebody.

I always wanted to write.

Be a novelist, you know.

When I first came here,

I worked in a book shop.

Then it closed.

My money ran out.

The night before last,

I slept in Union Square.

Then yesterday

I met those two men.

They offered me

something to eat,

so I didn't realize

what they were until you...

I can't let it lick me

like this.

I got to get a job

someplace today.

Oh, that's all right.

You got a job already.

Oh, rats!

You mean

you'll let me work here?

- Sure. Why not?

- Oh.

That's all right.

We got a landlady.

She comes up about once a week,

but her cooking

ain't no Delmonico's.

And the joint always looks

crummy--looks fierce always.

Why, Mr. Connors,

I hardly know what to say.

How about that buck

and the breeze?

Pipe down, pipe down.

We'll pay you what it's worth,

and you can have your eats

here with us.

Well, I gotta fix you up now.

I know.

Swipesy, you move your trash

out of the bedroom there

and you can sleep in here

on the sofa.

But his room?

I couldn't--

Oh, think nothin' of it.

Think nothin' of it!

Why, he likes to sleep

in here on the sofa.

He's always asking me if he can.

Ain't you, Swipes?

You know, Chuck,

you're a great guy,

and you knows I'm your pal.

But sometimes you sound

like you're full of hop.

What kind of talk is that?

What kind of talk is that?

Are you going to be a gentleman

to this lady or ain't you?

Don't pay no attention

to him, miss.

Just go ahead

and make yourself to home

and clean up the--

well, you know what to do.

I gotta go over to Brooklyn

to the brewery.

I got to see a guy.

You don't need to get any supper

until you hear from me, huh?

Goodbye, Mr. Connors.

You don't need to call me

Mr. Connors, Lucy.

Just call me Chuck.

Uh-oh.

Oh!

Hello, Swipes.

Hey, lamp this.

Aw, I seen that.

Hey, what about the eats?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Where's Lucy?

I don't know.

Hey, I'm asking you,

where is she?

Maybe she flew the coop.

What?

I ain't seen her around.

Why, that's funny.

Maybe she threw down the job.

You know, skirts don't like

dishwashing for a steady thing.

Yeah, but she wouldn't go away

without saying something.

You said never to trust a skirt.

They're never on the up and up.

You said so, didn't you?

Why, that's her hat and coat.

Say...

Come on now.

Where is she?

How do I know?

I don't worry about girls.

This is a man's world.

Skirts is all nutty

like a fruitcake.

You said so yourself.

Where's that key?

Hey! What--

What the--

Why, you--

So that's the kind of a kid

you are, huh?

The minute me back is turned,

you pull a dirty trick,

don't you?

Yeah, and I'd do it again

with pleasure.

You would, would you?

Oh, he didn't mean

anything wrong.

He was just playing.

All boys are like that.

You keep outta this.

We don't want you here.

You might as well put that

in your pipe and smoke it.

You stop that!

You want me to tan

your little hide for you?

Now you go ahead

and apologize to the lady.

Take it back now.

I ain't gonna apologize

to no skirt

you picked off the corner.

Well, that's the finish.

- You come here.

- Chuck!

You know better than to

say that to her, don't you?

Oh, Chuck!

Chuck, stop it!

Are you going to do that

anymore? Huh?

Now what do you got

to say for yourself?

The whipping didn't hurt, Chuck.

You couldn't hurt nobody.

It's just that you had to go

and do it in front of her.

Please go and tell him

you're sorry.

Oh, no.

He'll be all right.

I'll let him throw a couple of

rocks at the chinks, that's all.

I wouldn't for the world

come between you two.

You're such good friends.

Aw, don't you worry.

He and me's had fights before.

Sure. You know,

I ain't gonna let him

get fresh with no lady

like you, Lucy.

I gotta make him toe the mark.

I want him to grow up

to be a great guy,

and I got to teach him

his manners

or he'll grow up to be a bum.

Then everybody'll say that

Chuck Connors is no good

because the kid

ain't no gentleman.

I got a reputation

to think about,

and that means a lot

down here on this Bowery.

And I want that kid

to mean a lot, too, see?

I want him to be a big, fine--

Hey, Swipes, what's the idea?

Chuck! Go get him, quick!

Aw, that's all right.

He's my boy.

He's my Swipesy.

He'll be back.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

Thanks.

Hey, wait a minute!

Where you going?

Come on, Trixie,

be a good little girl.

It's getting late

in the morning.

You have to go home.

Come on.

- No, no, no.

- Come on. Come on.

Why don't you

be a lady and go home?

Whee!

How do you like that? Hey!

Come on, get in the cab there!

Come on, I've had

enough of this.

Come on, get in there.

Do you love me?

Sure, I love you.

Certainly I love you.

Drive around the block

until she sobers up,

then drop her off

at the Aquarium.

- Ain't she got a husband?

- That's your worry.

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra

Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay!

♪ Ta-ra-ra

Boom-de-ay! ♪

♪ Ta-ra-ra--

Well, well, if it ain't Swipes.

What are you doin' around here?

Oh, hello, Steve.

I didn't know

this was your joint.

I had to sleep somewheres.

I thought you were living

with Chuck.

Oh, him and me

are still friends,

but we had a little argument.

Hmm, you don't tell me.

Yeah. He kicked me out

for a skirt.

Hmm, one of the girls

from the joint?

No. This is one he picked up off

the street.

Oh.

Well, there's no sense

in sleeping around here.

Come on.

You can move in with me.

I got plenty of room.

Oh, no, thanks, Steve.

I couldn't do that.

Come on.

I got a nice feather bed,

and it's nice and warm.

Well, can I bring me cat?

Sure thing.

Say, I'm crazy about cats.

And I always liked you too,

Swipes,

even if you was Chuck's pal.

Come on, let's hit the hay, huh?

I just dropped by to see Chuck.

I'm sorry, but he's not here.

Oh, that's all right.

I'll wait.

But he might be gone

until evening.

Well, if he

don't come back soon,

I can leave a note, can't I?

You know, me and Chuck's

old pals.

Funny I ain't never

seen you before.

Well, I've only been working for

Mr. Connors a short while.

Working?

Oh, yeah.

They calls it by another name

in my neighborhood.

You said you wanted

to write a note?

Sure.

I got to hand it to Chuck.

He's got better taste

than I thought.

- Please!

- Aw, don't get sore.

I just wanna be good friends

with you, that's all.

You're Chuck's girl,

and Chuck is my pal.

There's no harm in that,

is there?

You let me go.

Come on.

Slip Stevie a little kiss.

You dirty, little--

You got teeth like a tiger.

What's the big rush?

We're even, ain't we?

You bit me

and I took a sock at you.

There's nothing wrong

with that, is there?

Let me alone!

Let me out of here!

Calm down, calm down.

I promise I won't hit you again.

That is, if you don't bite me.

I wouldn't hit a girl like you,

but I thought

you were the other kind.

How is a guy supposed to know?

They almost look alike

sometimes.

And now I'm gonna

tell you the truth.

I didn't come up here

to see Connors.

I wanted to see you.

I thought you and Chuck was...

Well, you know.

And Chuck and me

ain't the pals like I said.

When I can put something

over on him, I does.

I figured if I could

move in on him with you,

I could give him

the big horse laugh.

Gee, I'm sorry, lady.

Whew.

You know,

that's the longest speech

I ever made in my life.

I'm sorry about your hand.

Oh, forget about it.

That's nothin'.

I can fix it right up.

All over the floor.

Can you beat it?

Look, if you only got a job here

and you ain't stuck on Chuck,

there's no reason why you and I

can't be good friends, is there?

Sure, there ain't.

Hold still, please.

We could go out sometime,

couldn't we?

Just you and me?

You'd better go.

Right now, if you please.

But I'm gonna

see you again, ain't I?

I'm sure I don't know.

Well, then I'll call you up

on the telephone.

I wouldn't even know your name.

Pardon me. I forgot.

Why, I'm Steve Brodie.

You heard of me, ain't you?

No.

Gee.

Well, anyway,

I'll call you up, lady.

How are you?

Gee, you ain't

still sore at me, are you?

Oh, we ain't gonna let nothin'

come between you and me.

She's a swell girl, Swipes.

Honest, she is.

Oh, by the way,

your cat's got kittens again.

Four he's and seven she's.

That's...

Me friends and me's

gonna give a picnic,

and we're goin' down

to the beach.

You come on and go along,

and then we'll go back home,

you and me together, huh?

Gee, it's wonderful here, ain't

it?

Mm-hmm.

You know, I been battin' around

with all the tramps

and good time Charlies so long,

it seems like a dream being out

with anybody like you, Lucy.

And it sure took a lot of nerve

telling you I loved you

and expecting you to believe it.

You do believe it, don't you?

Yes, Steve.

And you love me, too?

Of course I do.

Then what's worrying you, honey

bunch?

You know.

- Chuck, eh?

- Mm-hmm.

What are you worried

about a guy like that for?

Well, I wouldn't

want to hurt him.

He's been so good to me.

Well, you gotta think

of yourself, too.

Are we gonna go on

like this forever,

always going places

so people can't see us?

- Steve?

- Yeah.

You don't mind if

I ask you something, do you?

No.

How do you make your money?

Gambling.

But isn't that against the law?

Sure, but what of it?

Maybe the law's wrong.

You don't think

keeping a saloon is better.

It's honest.

Well, I'll be keeping

a saloon one of these days.

A big one, too.

Bigger than Connors'.

Why is it that you two

are such great enemies?

Because we both

want the same things.

You, for instance.

You know, I believe if Chuck

knew I was in love with you,

he'd kill us both.

Yeah? What do you think

I'd be doing?

- How does it fit, Chuck?

- Perfect, me lad, perfect!

Look it over, will ya?

All right.

Wait a second here.

Let's go down where the

bathing beauties are! Come on!

Okay! Gentlemen

of the Fourth Ward, line up!

All right!

Brodie. Steve.

Well, well,

if it ain't Mr. Herman.

How is the big brewer

from uptown?

Say, we was looking

all over for you.

Oh, this is my partner,

Mr. Rummel.

Let's take a little walk

down the stem.

We'd like to have a few words

with you on the Q.T., huh?

Sure.

You see, the problem

with the brewery...

That is what bothers us.

Our beer is not represented

on the Bowery.

We are closed out on all sides.

You see, Mr. Brodie,

we brew the best lager beer

in the United States,

but the Ace Brewery people

have everything rolled up tight.

Now, next to Chuck Connors,

you are the most popular man

on the street.

What do you mean,

next to Connors?

Say, I can put it over

on that hooligan

at anything

from women to vinegar.

If you could only do something

that would bring your name

into prominence.

Say, I've been in

the Police Gazette, ain't I?

Yes, yes, yes, but

we mean something important.

Headlines in the papers.

The whole town

talking about you.

Something that would make

people run to patronize

any place that

had your name over the door.

You see, Mr. Brodie, if you

could build yourself up,

we would open up a saloon

with your name

in letters you could read

from here over to Brooklyn.

Brooklyn?

Brooklyn Bridge.

Yes, but it would have

to be something spectacular.

Something sensational.

That's just what

I been waiting for.

You see that bridge?

Yeah.

Well, I thought about it

lots of times

looking at it out of my window.

They calls it

the eighth wonder of the world.

People come from everywhere

just to look at it.

If a guy jumped off that bridge,

the whole world

would know about it.

You mean, you'll jump off

from the Brooklyn Bridge?

Why not?

You said you wanted

something spectacular,

didn't you?

Yes, but you couldn't

do that and live, could you?

Well, you can't name a saloon

after a dead man, can you?

We want to get our lager planted

down here,

but it isn't worth

killing a man to do it.

Leave it to me, Mr. Herman.

I'll take the chance.

Now let's get

this thing straight.

I bet you

that you ain't got the nerve

to go through with your boast

and jump off

the Brooklyn Bridge, right?

Right.

And if I makes the jump,

I become the sole owner

and proprietor

of this saloon, right?

It's a bet.

And if you croak,

we'll bury you free.

Come on, boys.

Let's get outta this joint.

I'm beginning to itch.

Don't get personal.

No hard feelings, Chuck.

Here. Don't ever say

I never give you nothin'.

Still trying to be funny, ain't

you, huh?

Oh!

Steve Brodie, he gonna jump off

the Brooklyn Bridge.

Aw, he'll kill himself.

Steve's gonna jump off

the Brooklyn Bridge.

All right, champ, let's go!

- I bet he does.

- I'll bet he don't!

- I bet he does.

- Put up or shut up!

It's agin' the law!

Get a statement from Brodie.

Extra! Extra!

Read all about it!

He ain't got

a Chinaman's chance.

I got a hunch he'll make it.

I'll bet you the devil

breaks his neck.

Brodie should make

the jump, not me.

Brooklyn Bridge!

Just a bozo,

but I hope he makes it.

If he makes it, he's famous!

I'm telling you,

it's the talk of the town!

Please, Steve, please.

If you really love me,

don't do it.

Everybody says you'll be killed.

Why, if I thought

it would hurt you in the least,

I wouldn't even think of it.

Now be a good girl

and promise me not to worry.

I loves you more than ever,

and it won't be long

before we're treading

the light fantastic together

right in the open

with no Connors to worry about.

Well, of course, Steve,

if you're perfectly sure

everything will be all right.

Yes, of course, I do.

I miss you, too.

Did you get that, honey?

Don't ever say

I never give you nothin'.

Bye.

Hey, Steve Brodie,

take a look at yourself.

Now get this in your bean.

Nobody knows about this

but us three.

It's a good thing

you can't talk, Mumbo.

And if anything goes wrong,

you won't be able

to hear, neither.

I'll cut off your ears

and make you eat 'em.

Well, what's gonna happen to--

Well, you know who I mean.

After you wins the bet and

takes his joint away from him?

You told me you were finished

with him, didn't you?

You told me

you didn't like him no more.

Well, I was just

wondering, that's all.

Well, tomorrow,

I'll be in Chuck's shoes

and he'll be in mine,

and, boy, how they'll pinch him.

Yeah, come on.

Let's get outta here.

Get that blanket.

All right.

Come on, boys.

We only got a half an hour.

Let's get this funeral

over with, huh?

Suppose he don't jump?

Aw, we'll bury him anyway.

Here's your spyglass, chief.

Come on!

Get right in those carriages.

Sit right down.

Thank you.

Get right in.

Let's get to going here.

Chuck! Chuck!

What's eating on you?

Carrie Nation is on the warpath.

She just made mincemeat

outta McGurk's saloon

and she's headed this way.

Aw, she won't bother me.

She knows enough

not to fool with Chuck Connors.

That's where you're all wrong.

She said she was gonna

chop up Suicide Hall

and then come down here.

Better stay right here, Chuck.

It'll take kid gloves

to handle that old battleax.

All right. You go ahead.

And when he jumps,

hand him that and an anchor.

Go ahead.

Go on.

Holy gee! I been waiting

five years

to see that mulligan

cook in his own stew,

and now I has to miss it.

I'll be waiting

under that first pillar.

Now, don't take any chances.

Stay in the bottom of the cab

until you get to the place

where I showed you.

Then throw the dummy

with all your might.

The coppers are watching

both ends of the bridge,

and if anybody asks you

where you're going,

tell 'em your grandmother

is sick in Canarsie.

Here. You take care of my derby.

- Good luck, Steve.

- All right, Swipes.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

Hey, Steve, Steve!

The dummy's gone!

What do you mean?

Somebody's copped it!

We can't find it!

Mumbo's been looking all over

the warehouse for it.

What?

What did you

do with it, you rat?

Spit it out, or I'll kill you!

He didn't know, Steve, honest.

There was somebody else!

Somebody got hip to us

and copped it!

We're for you, Steve.

Congratulations, Steve.

We know you can do it alive.

Get on your ted, dummy.

We're on our way.

Steve, you can't do it!

You wouldn't dare!

Dare? Listen, Swipes,

nobody could ever say that

Steve Brodie never took a dare.

But the cops will stop you!

You'll get pinched!

I gotta take the chance.

Tack yourself onto the end

of that procession,

and step on it.

Supposin' he doesn't

get killed, Papa?

Then we wasted

the whole day for nothing.

Eh.

Jump, Steve!

Jump so we can bury you!

Hey, if I wanted

to commit suicide,

I'd pick something easier

than that.

- How many?

- Three, including the hearse.

A dollar and a quarter.

Go ahead.

Yeah, go ahead.

Go ahead.

All right, go ahead, go ahead.

Aw, poor fella.

Go ahead.

How many carriages did he say?

Three carriages

including the hearse.

I counted four.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

It's a frame-up!

It's Brodie!

There he is now.

He made it! He made it!

What's all the whistles?

You ain't heard nothin' yet!

Look!

Here comes Carrie Nation!

Stand aside, you son of Satan!

Hey, listen,

this place is on the level.

This is a working man's club.

This ain't no saloon.

Oh, out of my way, you viper.

He done it!

He made the jump!

Ladies, you're absolutely right.

I'm converted.

I'm a hypocrite.

Down with demon rum!

Down with liquor!

Do your duty!

Help yourselves, ladies!

Help yourselves!

Ah, she's finished!

You like, eh, Steve?

The bridge is all right,

but how about me?

Make me bigger.

Make me bigger.

But it would make you

all out of perspective.

Well, who made the jump,

me or perspective?

And what is your name,

my good little man?

Buster Brown.

Well, if it ain't John L.

Wait a minute.

A toast, everybody,

to Steve Brodie,

the king of the Bowery!

- Speech!

- Speech!

-Speech! -Speech!

Give a speech.

Ladies and gents,

I ain't much on the gab,

but all I want to say is this.

The next time, instead

of jumping off the bridge,

I'm gonna jump over it!

Hey, Steve!

Lookit, Steve!

The battleship "Maine"

has just been blown up

in Havana Harbor!

Hey, extra's out!

Hey, extra, extra!

Army regulars

leave for Cuba! Extra!

A special extra here!

McKinley asks for volunteers!

I can get me feet on the ground

if you just give me a chance.

We depended on you

to put over our beer,

and you failed.

Brodie made a fool out of you.

Oh, I can come back.

I know I can.

You can't draw flies.

You're through.

Aw, listen, you can't

let me down like that.

Why, all I own is just

the clothes on me back.

If you had one-tenth of the

money that you lost gambling,

you could own your own saloon.

Hey, that guy

is some junkie, ain't he?

10 to one for our dough.

Hi, fellas.

How's you doing, huh?

All right.

Extra! Read all about it!

War declared with Spain!

Extra! Extra!

Extra! Extra! McKinley

asks for volunteers.

Extra! Extra!

Oh, there's no use crying

over spilt milk, Lucy.

I'm through.

I know it.

I got to keep moving.

If I stick around here,

why, I'd go loony.

Oh, Chuck, don't talk like that.

You make me feel as if

I brought you bad luck.

Nobody ever brought me

bad luck but meself.

I'm sorry for one thing, that

I can't leave you fixed right.

But a bloke like me

never saves nothin'.

But this'll kind of

take care of you.

Oh, no, Chuck.

Oh, that's all right,

Lucy. That's all right.

Chuck, I can't

let you go like this.

I can't.

Lucy, never tie yourself

to a guy

that's on the downgrade.

Extra edition! Extra!

Volunteers needed to go to Cuba!

Sign your name

on that line in full.

That's me mark.

Me name's Chuck Connors,

but everybody knows me

by that mark.

Do you wanna go to Cuba?

Oh, I wanna go anyplace

but the Bowery.

You're in the Army now.

Report here tomorrow morning

at 10 A.M.

for your uniform and equipment.

- Right here?

- Right here.

What's your name?

Lou Keel.

Sign this line here, right here.

- Did you enlist?

- Yeah.

So did I.

Boy, we'll clean 'em up!

They can't get away

with sinking the "Maine."

We'll teach 'em a lesson

they'll never forget, won't we?

Who's we fightin'?

♪ Be forgot

♪ And never brought to mind ♪

♪ Should auld acquaintance

be forgot ♪

♪ And days of auld lang syne ♪

♪ For auld lang syne, my dear ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

♪ We'll take a cup

of kindness yet ♪

♪ For auld lang syne

Holy gee.

Swipesy.

Swipesy.

Chuck, how's we doing?

Perfect, me lad.

Perfect, perfect.

Is you back with me now?

Oh, Chuck, I was never

really mad at you,

not for keeps anyway.

I ain't got

much of a place here.

It ain't no palace.

But with you with me,

why, it's swell.

Oh, we won't be here long,

Chuck.

Why, we're goin' right back up

on top of the ladder.

They could never--

Yeah, but what about

that Steve Brodie

that you was with?

He's the tops of the Bowery now.

Oh, he's a good guy,

but you know how fellas are.

When you and I were just alone

and we was doing good,

well, it didn't make

much difference then.

But now that

you're sort of down and out

and you ain't

the big boss no more,

it didn't seem fair to me

to stay away from you.

Oh, gee whiz.

It's like I'm going right back.

I can get right back up on top

now that you're with me.

They think

they've got me licked,

but they're all wrong.

Aw, I can help you

in a lot of ways, lots of ways.

Now that war's declared,

I been selling more papers

than I can carry.

Swipes, I done gone and done it.

Done what?

I joined the Army!

I'm a soldier!

I got a war on me hands!

Maybe they'll make you general

or something, huh?

Yeah, but I can't do that

now that we're back together

and I'm just gonna start

climbing for the top.

Me luck has changed.

You stay here, Swipesy.

I'll go back down there,

and I'll tell 'em what

they can do with this thing.

You clean up the joint.

I'll be right back, son.

So long.

Hey, Chuck, we've been

looking for you--

- Wait a minute!

- I have some big news for you.

Yeah? Well, I ain't got no time

to waste with you guys.

Step on the brakes.

This is important.

Yeah. Steve Brodie took your

saloon away from you, didn't he?

Yeah, well, what of it?

What if we was to tell you

he never jumped off

that bridge at all?

Well, I'd tell you that

you had rats in your belfry.

All right.

Did you see him jump?

No, but all me friends,

they saw him jump.

Well, you come with us,

and we'll show you something

that'll make your hair stand up.

Yeah, but they saw him

all standing on that bridge--

Yeah, but all the gang,

they saw him in the water.

Honest Mike and all of those

guys, they wouldn't lie.

Seeing him in the water ain't

seeing him go off the bridge.

What do you mean?

This is what made the jump.

And that guy took the dummy

in his cab

and threw it off the bridge.

Why, that guy framed me.

Why, the yellow-bellied

double-crosser!

I'll get even with him for this!

Why, I'll kill that guy!

And that is the end

of Mr. Steve Brodie.

- Get him outta here!

- Take him!

What's going on here?

What's going on here?

You dirty thief!

You welcher!

You stole this place from me,

and now you're going

to give it back!

Aw, you're crazy.

You didn't jump off

the Brooklyn Bridge.

You didn't jump off of nothin'.

I'll show you what jumped off

of Brooklyn Bridge.

This is what jumped

off of Brooklyn Bridge.

Don't believe him, boys.

It's a lie.

You know I made the jump.

You seen me, didn't you?

Yeah, right.

You guys keep outta this.

Me and Brodie

will settle this alone.

Any time, any place.

Name it.

The sooner, the better.

Tonight at 12:30 on

Grogan's Barge at the river.

I'll be there.

We're with you, Steve.

All right. Come on.

Let's break it up.

Eight to five, eight to five,

eight to five on Steve Brodie!

Now, boys, I've seen him fight.

I know what he can do.

He uses his head.

He uses his right.

He uses his left.

He uses his feet.

He uses everything

but his teeth.

Now who's gonna place

a bet, eh, gentlemen?

- 30 smackers on Steve.

- 30 smackers on Steve.

- What's your name?

- John Baron.

John Baron,

30 smackers on Steve.

Who's gonna place a bet?

I know the other guy.

He's a big hunk of meat.

He's got the brawns,

but he ain't got the brains.

Here's a pair of brass knucks.

Chuck won't know the difference.

I won't need 'em.

I can lick him fair and square.

The poor chump's all in.

He's through.

I got it on him in the speed,

the wind and the noodle.

A few socks

and it'll be all over.

Here he comes.

How are you, has-been?

I'll see you when I get back.

Don't do it, Chuck.

Please, don't.

That wasn't no fake.

I seen him do it! Don't.

I'm fixing him for good

this time.

I'll show him.

The welcher.

Come on, come on.

Watch my derby.

I'll be right back.

Sure, Steve.

Somebody's comin' in the boat!

Who is it?

- It's Steve!

- No, it ain't. It's Chuck.

You're wrong, it's Steve.

It's Steve Brodie.

It's Chuck!

Chuck?

Anyone wants to know who the

toughest guy is on the Bowery,

you tell him

to see Chuck Connors.

Three cheers for Chuck Connors!

- Chuck, old boy.

- Hey, Chuck.

All the way down the hatch!

I won't be wearing this

private's uniform very long.

I'll bet that next week

I'm an admiral.

Here's to the Admiral!

Oh, look what somebody sent me.

Nice new box of cigars, huh?

Hey, Souza,

play us a tune, will you?

♪ I'm the belle they say

of Avenue A ♪

♪ And you can bet your stuff ♪

♪ I'm mad at myself

♪ It makes me smile

♪ To think of me style

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle

they say ♪

♪ Of Avenue A

♪ You'll see me spill

♪ With Billy McTill

♪ He's the bouncer

♪ And he's loaded with style

♪ I may be gay, what say? ♪

♪ Well, out of me way

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle

of Avenue A ♪

♪ I'm the belle

they say of Avenue A ♪

♪ And you can bet your stuff

♪ I'm mad at myself

♪ It makes me smile

♪ To think of me style

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle they say

of Avenue A ♪

♪ You'll saw me spill

with Billy McTill ♪

♪ He's the bouncer

and he's loaded with style ♪

♪ I may be gay, but say,

stay out of his way ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the belle

of Avenue A ♪

Ladies and gentlemen!

A toast to Chuck Connors!

Ever and ever and ever!

Just a moment.

Now, when the Chuck Connors

comes back from Cuba,

me and my partner over here,

we are going to have

a big surprise for him.

We are going to build him

the biggest saloon in the world!

A bar 200 feet long

with 40 bartenders

and with gold-plated spittoons!

- Speech, Chuck!

- Speech! Speech!

Ladies and gents,

this is a pleasure.

This is what I calls perfect.

We're looking for Chuck Connors.

Which one of you is him?

That's me.

Pin it on me.

Well, you're under arrest.

For what?

Assault and battery

with intent to kill.

Assaulting who?

Steve Brodie.

He was picked up on Grogan's

Barge last night half dead.

What?

Why, that rat went

and squealed to the coppers.

Come on, you can tell that

to the judge.

Oh, what are you giving me?

Come on!

That's all right.

They can't do nothin' with me.

I'm in the Army now.

Yeah? Well, you'll be in jail in

a couple of hours. Come on.

Pipe down, you fresh guys,

or I'll pinch all of you.

Are you sure you're all right?

Of course, I'm all right.

Say, you don't think that guy

really licked me, do you?

Well, Steve, I don't know.

What do you mean,

you don't know?

Say, I got it on him in the

wind, the speed and the noodle.

I was knocking him

all over the place.

Steve! Steve!

And if I hadn't slipped,

they'd be burying him today.

Oh, Steve, you mustn't get

yourself excited. Be quiet.

Why, for a plugged nickel,

I'd go out right now

and knock his teeth out.

- Why? No.

- Here, here!

You must be quiet, Mr. Brodie.

The doctor hasn't completed

his diagnosis yet.

This may be more serious

than you realize.

The officers are here now

to have you identify

the man that hit you.

Tell 'em to bring him in.

Oh, Steve!

This stuff's the bunk.

Listen, honey,

you better wait outside,

and I'll see you

in a little while.

Oh, but, please, Steve.

Promise me you won't

start it all over again.

You never can tell what I'll do.

Go on. Wait outside.

Run along.

All right.

We haven't finished

our examination yet.

He may be suffering

from a concussion,

and it'd be dangerous

for you people

to go in there and agitate him.

Listen, Doc, I don't know

nothin' about agitating.

We're the law,

and he's got to identify

this man as his assailant.

Why, suppose he should die?

And if we didn't have

identification,

we couldn't hang you, could we?

No, no.

Well, if you insist, go ahead,

but I warn you

not to excite him.

Come on, let's get it over with.

Mr. Brodie,

the State of New York

has issued a warrant

against this man

for assault with intent to kill.

Now, before we can proceed

with the indictment,

it'll be necessary for you to

identify him as your assailant.

Well, what you waiting for?

Come on.

We haven't got all day.

I've never seen the big bag

of bologna before in my life.

He don't look strong enough

to assault a horsefly.

Are you sure this ain't

the guy that beat you up?

Nobody beat me up.

I slipped and fell down.

And I don't know nothin'

about no warrants.

Kelsey, what's the matter

with you?

I thought you said he did it.

Come on. Get outta here before

the both of us go daffy, too.

Why didn't you tell the truth?

You know I beat the tan

right off of you.

Why, you big hooligan,

if I hadn't fell down,

you'd be in the morgue by now.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stop fighting!

Cut it out!

You guys gotta be friends.

I wouldn't be friends

with that guy

if he was George Washington.

And that goes for me, too!

Yeah. Get out of there!

Come on!

Stop it!

Come on.

Now, what's the use of fighting?

The Bowery's big enough

for both of you.

Come on, shake hands.

Chuck is going to Cuba,

and you might never

see him again.

Come on, shake hands.

All right, Chuck.

Gee, that was a great scrap,

wasn't it, Steve?

It sure was.

The best I ever had.

Yeah?

I was unconscious

for three hours.

You were? I got three teeth

knocked off there

and three teeth knocked--

Oh, it was swell.

Hey, Chuck,

you're gonna be late.

They'll be waiting for you

at the Armory.

Oh, that's right.

I gotta go.

I'm goin' to Cuba, Steve.

Gee, I wish you was going along.

With a couple of guys

like you and me,

why, we could cut that war down

from three weeks to three days.

Gee, I wish I could go with you.

Well, so long, Chuck,

and good luck.

Thanks, Steve.

Hey, Steve?

Why don't you come

and go along with me?

I dare you to.

What's that?

I dare you

to come and go with me.

Can you walk?

What's the difference?

I'm going, ain't I?

What's the matter here?

You get right back to bed!

Get outta the way!

The Army's coming through!

Get out!

Aw, go on and kiss him.

I know how you feel, Lucy.

I can see it written

all over your face. Go on.

I'll be back, honey.

Don't worry.

Go ahead.

Thanks, Lucy.

Don't ever say

I never gave you nothin'.

All aboard!

Come on!

Tough we missed saying

goodbye to Swipe, isn't it?

Oh, yeah?

How's we doin', Chuck?

Perfect, me lad, perfect.