The Boat on the Grass (1971) - full transcript

Stop.

Stop it!

You don't care, do you?
It's obvious.

And...

What if I break a leg?

A leg or an arm. Huh?

What sign?
What sign are you?

Virgo.

What if you poke your eye out?

I hope you're thinking about that too.

Exactly.
Oh yeah, that could happen.



Virgo with a poked-out eye.
Pray for us.

Look, this isn't right.
You have to declare me.

- Declare what?
- Declare me!

Me, old chap!
To social security.

Otherwise, it's not legal.
Not at all.

You don't joke about that in France.

Social security, my ass!

Those are poor people's,
losers' concerns.

I don't want losers on board.
No bums on this boat.

Then pay! Pay up, man.

I've been waiting five days
for my money.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow, my ass.



Listen.
Listen.

I noticed something.

Something?
What?

An invasion.

- An invasion?
- Yes.

- An invasion of what?
- Laziness.

- You're overwhelmed by laziness.
- Oh, that's the best yet.

Master has been contemplating
his portrait for an hour,

If there's anyone who works
around here, it's me.

- As it should be.
- Is that so?

You're my employee.

All right.

Very good.

Perfect.

I'll show you class struggle.

David, David, David... oh.

Her mirror!

Oh!

Oh, her favourite mirror!

Bought in...

Milan or Birmingham,
I can't remember.

Do they say seven years
of bad luck in France?

Huh? Yes, that's what they say.

Seven years' bad luck.

Vandal!

You OK?

Christ!

Oh, Jesus!

What's wrong?

What's wrong?
What's wrong? A...

A...

A sprain, a strain. I don't
know how to say it in French.

A twist?

A sprain?

A sprain. I have a sprain.
It's swelling up!

Don't touch!

My God.

It's not swelling up.

What are you saying?

You're blind!

That's not good for a sailor.

- Carry me.
- Where?

Where? On your back.

I don't want to spend all day
sitting down.

Hang on. The shoe.

Go.

You need to call the doctor.

The little finger is almost
certainly broken.

- Do you have the doctor's number?
- Yes.

- But you're walking!
- Correct.

You were taking the piss.

A little.

Is she blonde?

We'll never finish the work.

We aren't being professional
about it.

We'll leave here completely senile.

Here, eat.
Eat some nuts.

They're great for diabetes.

But I don't have diabetes.

That's good, because they
aren't nuts.

Is she a redhead?

They have skin like silk,
or so they say.

And white as milk.

I've never known a redhead.

There you go.
There's the proof.

What proof?

You're in love.

It's taken away your appetite.

The chicken stinks. That's
what spoiled my appetite.

- In love...
- Yeah, right.

Can I have your keys?

Tell me, seriously...

You're not going to be in love
when it's time to leave, are you?

Me, in love?
You're crazy.

No, she's just a girl.

Anyway, I've only known her
for the last fift... twelve days.

OK.

Have you...

Have you... had a ding-dong?

Ding-dong?

What?

What is it?
Speak French.

Did you make love?

What's it to you?

Tell me.

You can tell me.
Yes or no?

- Yes or no?
- Stop it.

Whatever, I don't care.

- You want an apple?
- No, I want your car.

I'm hesitant, because
you're a bad driver, you know?

A car is like a toothbrush.
You don't lend them out.

You should have said so earlier!
I would have taken the bus.

- I'm going to be late, now.
- Come on.

You stink of sweat.

Yes, it's incredible.
How sweaty you are!

At least take a bath.

- I'll have a wash at home.
- Where? In your sink?

David, listen...

Leave your ridiculous room
and stay here.

You'll be like a lord, eh?

A lord...

But...

It's a problem.

Problem, problem...

You'll make mountains
out of molehills.

Come on.

- Can I have your keys or not?
- Yes, yes, yes.

Where are you going to take her?

- Restaurant, cinema.
- No, no. Afterwards, I mean.

I don't know.

Here you go.

At last.

You have the keys to the flat
on the rue du Cherche-Midi too.

Say it's yours.

Tell who?

The girl.

- Really?
- Why not?

- David.
- What?

Here.

Take this.

You're not angry?

I'm not your boss.

I was just kidding.

Bye.

Bye, boss!

Bye.

8am! Be back for work!

Thank you.

There's a mistake here.

- Ah, no, no.
- Ah, yes, yes.

It's not 182.
It's 172.

Ah, yes, yes, yes.
That's right.

Keep the change.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.

- More champagne?
- With pleasure.

I'll have to go home now.

This is John Laffite at Radio Joyride.

with an important shipping announcement
to all shipping in sea areas

Dogger, Cromarty, German Bight..

The message reads as follows:

To be or not to be.

End of message. And over.

Ah, it's the same shit.

Aren't you done with your
to be or not to be?

I'm going to report you
to the police.

You can easily be found,
you know. Be careful.

Come on, let's get to work.
We've got better things to do.

No kidding.

Taking the piss like that...

I read you loud and clear.

Over and out.

Everything was last minute and
I had no time to let it defrost.

OK, that's it.

Unless I catch my death.

You scared me, sir.

I thought sir was out tonight.

I didn't go out, Léon.

Madam is back.

She arrived unannounced
with a load of guests.

Yes, she's back.

I told her that sir was out.

I saw your car leaving.

That was David, Léon.

Ah.

- Did I say the wrong thing?
- No, absolutely not.

Do you have any milk?

- Could I have a glass?
- Good evening. Come in.

Congratulations, you have
beautiful hair.

Ah, make me laugh!

How beautiful you are.

With your blue eyes...

Albino white...

Come.

Come here, love.
Come, love.

My love.

My sweet...

I missed you, you know.

So much.

My baby.

Come here, my love.

My love. My sweet...

I missed you, you know. So much...

- ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
- ♪ Happy birthday to me... ♪

Good evening.

Mother.

Oh, my dear.

You're here!

What a surprise!

What a surprise.

You're here!

Yes, I'm here.

You're here, with a few friends.
We're all here.

Yes!

What a joy it is to see you.

Léon told me that you were
in Paris, so...

Léon was mistaken.

- Ah yes.
- And you lied to me.

- Me?
- Yes, you.

You were supposed to write.

- But I did write.
- And?

But I didn't post it.

Three months without any news
is a long time.

It's too much.

I have the letters. I'll show
them to you, I have all of them.

What's with the wig?

- Leave it alone. I love my wig.
- Terrible, Mum.

- Terrible. - You criticize
everything I do.

- It doesn't suit you.
- What a bore you are!

Oh, how tedious you are.

How tedious children are.

Mr. and Mrs. Lagrève.

My young son Olivier, I don't
think you've met.

- Yes, we have.
- Really?

Jean-Pierre Rossand, a young poet.

Oh, he's great.

He writes such beautiful poems.
I'm going to read them to you.

Jean-Claude... Olivier...

Little Olivier.

Come on. Let's cut the cake,
shall we?

Yes, let's cut the cake.

Christine... your mother
has told me a lot about you.

- Has she? - About this yacht
that you're building.

It's out of the ordinary.

That doesn't seem to apply
to you.

What doesn't?

- Ordinary.
- Ah, of course.

For your information,
it's a ketch

and I'm not building it,
I'm modifying it.

Good evening, Prince.

Good evening, Olivier.

Prince Alexis Karachin
was in Moscow

the night of Rasputin's assassination.

Saint Petersburg.

They were in St. Petersburg.

And saw the body floating
on the Neva?

Very interesting memories.

Yes, but I don't remember.

I was ten years old, and even
then I remembered nothing.

So maybe you didn't see anything.

We aren't in the habit of joking.

Especially on historical subjects.

Come, Prince.

Did you know she was
arriving tonight?

Uh, no.
No more than you did.

And the... the little idiot?
Have you met him before?

No. Not that one, anyway.

But is he really that dumb?

On the face of it,
he's less dumb than me.

Me - in love with her
for the past ten years...

With her, with...?

Your mother, yes.

I even proposed to her.

With no fear of ridicule.

Really?

Really, I was perfectly ridiculous.

It was a while ago.

Two years after
your father's death.

Say, Olivier...

Have you got a name for the boat?

No, not yet.

Well, I've found you
a figurehead.

Ah! Is it beautiful?

Better than that.

18th century, Spanish.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Bastards.

Good evening, Prince.

So long, my dear.

Wait for me...

Hoist the colours!

Eleonor!

- Yes?
- What would you like to drink?

There's whiskey, champagne,
vodka, Coca-Cola...

There's some rosé left too.

Vodka, please.

Vodka...

What do you think he's
looking at?

Eternity, probably.

They built thousands like this.

Always the same face.

He looks a bit like me,
don't you think?

Really?

Or like you rather.

Oh yes?

Very vaguely, eh?

You should go to Easter Island.

Ah no, no.
Not you too.

That's what he says.
It's not plausible.

It's too far for a first trip.

- It's the unknown.
- The unknown?

If my aunt from Besançon
saw me with a stranger...

It's good not to be too serious.

Yes, but Easter Island
isn't Besançon.

It's OK not to be too serious but...

Whoa, whoa.
Careful, careful...

He has a funny little head!

I'd never noticed.
I mean, yes, I...

Yes, I had, but it slipped my mind.

16,000 kilometres,
you know what I mean?

And I know what I'm talking about.

I'm the real sailor.
He's still an amateur.

And what of that?

Well, it's a beautiful 12-meter
ketch, bought second hand.

No, I meant your friend.
What about him?

- What do you mean?
- What's he like as a person?

Ah, he's...
He's great.

Very charming.

But a little weird.

You'd have to say that.
Weird and English, right?

What's weird about him?

I don't know. He's strange.

His behaviour is bizarre.

He changes his mind all the time.

For example, we've been working
on this boat for almost a year.

And in a park too,
you should see it.

I'd love to.

There are times when I get
completely discouraged.

And then...

I get the feeling that he
really needs me, so...

That's wonderful.

- What is? - Being able
to get away, you and...

What's his name?

Olivier.

And the boat, what's
the boat called?

Ah, well, he doesn't
know that either.

He keeps changing his mind.

He makes lists.

- We make lists.
- I'll help you choose a name.

Why not Eleonor,
for example?

Well, yes, why not?

That's a good idea.

Do you want to kiss me?

Yes or no?

Well, yes.

You ask me like that...

How do you want me to ask you?

I don't know.

Mister! Mister!

Do you have a little something
for me, sir?

Domini potentem seculi seculum.

What are you saying?

Domini potentem seculi seculum.

Excuse me for saying so, mister,

I had a little trouble during the war

because of this bitch
politician. I had to get away.

- Here you go.
- For me to escape if I need to.

- Yes.
- Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

Don't forget. I'm not
just anyone, you know.

I went to school.

To get into the Seminary.

Thank you.

That was Olivier's mother
on the phone.

She's worried, wants to know
what he's up to.

What is this?

Are you asleep?

I have to go to work.

I'll call you at the cafe at 6.

Don't forget to pull
the door when you leave.

You won't forget, will you?

I beg your pardon.
Miss...

Miss, don't be afraid.

I'm not a thief.

I'm not a cop either.

A friend.

Just a friend.

Isn't he here?

I came in.

We have a system... for...
the...

keys.

Don't be afraid.
Here, look.

I'm on my knees.

You might think that I adore you.

- Who are you? - A friend!
Just a friend of David's.

And now your friend too.

Do you want something?
How about a cup of coffee?

Black? White?

With toast?

Croissants.

With croissants.

Good. OK.

Thank you.

- It's lovely.
- Remember, Olivier.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

A thing of beauty...
- Is a joy forever, yes.

Goodbye.

- Shall we go?
- Where to?

To the countryside.

- No, I can't, I...
- You don't want to come?

It's not that. I can't.

There's that great big
thing there...

It'll be uncomfortable.

Come in.

Come in!

Shit.

What's wrong with the clasp?

Where was it?

On the... on the boat.

Oh, but it's broken!

I stepped on it, accidentally.

Accidentally.

Well, thanks anyway.

What do you mean...

you stepped on it, huh?

There was a bit of upheaval,
it fell and I stepped on it.

Don't make that face.
It's not a big deal.

You two make a fine team.

It'll be a terrible shame
if you ever leave.

You, you know about sailing

but him, mamma mia...

- He has instinct.
- Eh?

I'm saying he has
an instinct for it.

Yes. An instinct for laziness.

I hope he pays you, at least.

Yes. He does.

Regularly?

Yes, he pays me regularly.

It won't last.

There it is, the boat.

The boat!

A boat, in this age,

at his age, with all the
options available to him...

he wants to gush over statues...

to pitch up on some rock,
that's his ambition.

What a great success, boys.

I know Easter Island well.

I spent five months there.

Five months, with his father.

Five months...

in a nightmare.

In anxiety.

You know how that ended.

His father was an
ethnologist, but him...

He's a madman!

He’s crazy!
He's a dreamer!

I intend to make him
change his mind

about Easter Island.

What are you saying?

I'm saying I'll make him change
his mind about Easter Island.

How naive you are! He'll take
you to the South Pole if he wants.

And you'll just say "Amen".

No, I won't say "Amen".
Not at all.

David!

Come and see.
I have surprises for you.

Ah, you took my car.
Help yourself, why don't you.

- Hello.
- What have you got there?

You could say something.

Yes. Shut up.

See the park?
Beautiful, isn't it?

- And he's pranged it!
- I wasn't lying.

Unbelievable.

What the hell is this?

Ah, don't worry.
My mother will pay for it.

That's not the point!

Listen, you're going to shut
it, my little cow.

You will be polite in
the company of strangers.

Say hello to the mademoiselle.

This is my mother's lover.

He's crazy! Let go of me.

- What are you doing?
- Olivier!

Olivier!

I order you to stop.

He's crazy. He's completely
crazy. He's lost it.

What have you done?

I want to know what you did.

What do you care?

Do I ask you what you're doing
with that gigolo?

Shut up.

You know what you look
like in that wig?

Shut up.

An old Hollywood whore.

There.

That's it.

You...

- Did you know him?
- Know who?

- Olivier.
- No, not at all.

So how come you
arrived with him?

Because this morning he
picked me up at your place.

Ah yes.
Yes, of course.

And did he...

Did he tell you anything?

No, why?

Oh, nothing. It's nothing.

OK. Let me show you something.

There. My figurehead.

My Spanish pirate.

Now that I've observed
your domestic customs,

I'd like to go back to Paris.

I wanted to explain.
Olivier and I, we...

I want to get my bag from
your car and leave.

Take my car to...

It's his car?

Well, yes.

And the apartment?

That too.

Eleonor... listen.

One thing...

would give us great pleasure
before you leave.

What? What do you want?

Stay.

Well, well.

Well, there you go.

Oh la la la la...

Well.

Ah.

I'm going to tell Germaine
about this.

So, what do you think?

Disturbing.

And mysterious.

Very mysterious.

Really?

Yes, yes.

Like a child of the wind
and the night.

Or something like that.

"The wind and the night"?
Really.

I think she's rather...

radiant.

And fresh.

Anyway, I'm glad you like her.

It's a museum piece.

But I wouldn't have paid for
it if I didn't like it.

I'm talking about Eleonor,
not your Spanish privateer.

Eleonor is radiant.

Eleonor, come here.
Come and see.

It has a certain look.

A certain look?
You mean "sublime".

It's surprising, no doubt.

It may be a bit much,
don't you think?

It isn't very logical.

Logical...

What about your nose,
is that logical?

As well as that,
it'll slow us down.

Well, what do you think of it?

What do you think of it?

Magnificent.

That's really impressive.

You speak very good English.
- I get along.

And I say that we'd
look like real idiots.

My French is terrible.
- Not at all.

Would it bother you
to speak French?

Oh, my poor friend.

You don't understand the
language of Shakespeare?

- Give me a break.
- To be or not to be...

- Oh no, don't start that again!
- I'm going to!

To be or not to be...

To see or not to see,
that is the question.

Whether it is nobler in the mind.

to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune

or to take up arms
against a sea of troubles

and by opposing end them?

Seem good to you?

Seem?

Seems, madam?
Nay, it is.

I know not "seems".

'Tis not alone my inky cloak,
good mother,

nor customary suits
of solemn black, no.

Nor the fruitful river in the eye,

together with all forms,
modes, and shows of grief,

that can denote me truly.

These indeed seem,

for they are actions
that a man might play.

But I have that within
which passeth show;

these but the trappings
and the suits of woe.

Hey, careful!

Don't hit it like that.
It's a motor, it's fragile.

Like yesterday. You shouldn't
have gone at it so hard.

What? "Secoui"?
What does that mean?

"Secoué", shaken. That guy.

- I shook him up?
- Yes, you did.

You looked like
you wanted to kill him.

That's true.

It's none of my business, but I
thought you were too excitable.

Not very British.

I'm not very British:
my mother is Italian.

Sometimes you behave
like a real child.

It's not my business,
but I think that...

I think that with her...

you should be a little less...

a little less...

- I don't know how to put it.
- Don't say anything.

Do I talk about your mother?

There's no danger of that:
I lost her a long time ago.

Ah, you hurt yourself.

Show me your little thumb.

- Shall I call a doctor?
- Yes, it's swelling.

Hello, sailors!

What is this?

Herring, since you're hungry.

- Can we see?
- Of course.

Fantastic.

There was chicken too, but I
threw it because it was off.

You see? Your chicken was bad.

Yes, you shouldn't eat
things like that.

That's what I told him.

We could do with a corkscrew.

I've brought a corkscrew.

My dear Eleonor, you are
the queen of this boat.

- What? - She's the queen
of this boat.

- Oh yes? - I am
the queen of this boat.

Do you know God Save the Queen?

♪ God save our gracious Queen ♪

- What are you doing?
- I'm swaying!

- I don't feel like swaying.
- ♪ Long live our noble Queen ♪

♪ God save the Queen ♪

You're beautiful.

You're very, very beautiful.

What about the dress?
How does the dress look?

On you, it's perfect.

I'm thirsty!
Are you thirsty?

It must be the herring.

No doubt.

You shouldn't have rummaged
around in his things.

Why not? He told me I could.

Check in the kitchen.

The fridge has whatever
you need.

Could you bring me
a beer, please?

You'd like a beer?
As you wish, my admiral.

It isn't my admiral.
It's just "admiral".

Why is that?

That's what they say in the Navy.

But it's on a lawn.

Yes. They're certainly original.

I'm thinking of coming back
at the end of the week.

All right.

Me too. Hugs.

Your money or your life.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- Am I disturbing you?
- No.

Really.

You never disturb me,
Mr Olivier. Come in.

Good evening, Germaine.

Good evening, sir.

How are you?

- Sit down.
- Thank you. Thank you.

- What's up? Did you get any?
- Yes. Three.

- Well done.
- Huge ones.

- They're getting bigger and bigger,
these rats. - Yes, yes.

Almost like cats now.

And fierce! Blimey!

- The neighbour, Mr. Princard...
- Who?

The neighbour, the vet next door.

He told me that last night,
they ate one of his chickens.

Only feathers left.

- Will you have some cherries?
- Yes, please. Thank you.

- Germaine?
- What.

Bring us some cherries.

I think the rubbish from
the dump attracts them.

You should write to the council.

Yes, that's a good idea.

I saw the statue, as I was
doing my rounds.

The statue?

On the boat.

- Ah!
- It's pretty artistic.

What is it exactly?

It's a pirate,
a Spanish figurehead.

It's not for me to say, eh, but...

Seeing that boat makes me want
to up sticks. Thank you.

Good riddance and Godspeed!

Even more so at night, because
the grass looks like the sea.

- It seems to float. - Especially
when you've had a drink.

I even dreamed about it.
But in my dream...

it was made of gold.
Gold and diamonds.

Liar! Gold and diamonds?
What else?

Gold and diamonds, yes.
Exactly.

The only snag was that
Germaine was the captain.

She made us row as if we
were on a galley. Go figure.

Where would you go, Léon,
if you had to leave?

- To Sweden.
- Sweden.

But it's all cold and ice
over there!

You have to be funny in the
head to go to Sweden!

You can go to the Massif
Central if you like.

Wouldn't bother me.

I know why you want go to Sweden,
you old fool.

And why is that?

Because of some television programme.

Sex education, my eye!

- What's she on about? What a dummy!
- What?

- Nothing, it was English.
- Really.

Thank you, Germaine.
They were excellent.

- Hold on.
- Where are you going now?

I'll open the door.

- Mr. Olivier...
- Yes, what is it?

Madam, your mother, asked me

to warn her as soon as you
were going to leave.

So you'll do as she says, Léon.

Will you be leaving soon?

In a few days, yes.

Would you really like to leave too?

Would I like to leave?

If you only knew how much...

Not once, but three times
around the world.

In all directions.

Oh, yes indeed.

The silence.

Nothing but silence.

The wind.

A little, not too much.

The waves.

No storms, of course.
No Germaine either.

Paradise.

♪ The only pretty rain time ♪

♪ When lovers sing
Hey ding a ding a ding ♪

♪ Sweet lovers
love the spring ♪

David!

David?

It happened on Easter Island?

Yes.

The official version said
it was an accident.

But everyone knows
it was suicide.

Because of...

Because of Olivier's mother.

- Did you know him?
- For one summer, in Brittany.

They lived near
my parents' house.

My father was a sailor.

Olivier's father loved
going out to sea with him.

That's how I became
Olivier's friend.

His father really was
a remarkable man.

He knew everything.
He could talk about anything.

That's him, there.

David?

David?

Up here.

Where?

In the attic.

What are you doing here?

Nothing. I'm showing Eleonor.

I see.

What do you think this is?
A museum?

I made breakfast.

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing.

It's just, I wonder if...

What are you wondering,
old sport?

If it doesn't make you look
a little...

- A little bit...
- What? Out with it!

A little old.

- It ages you a little.
- It ages me?

- Ages you, yes.
- What, damn it?

Your moustache.

You'd look better without it.

It was you who told me
to let it grow.

Yes. That was a mistake.

Sometimes I make mistakes.

You could have told me earlier.

Yes. But I only realised today.

Really.

Yes. You'd look better without it.

Better. Without a doubt.

Charming.

What do you enjoy in life,
Eleonor?

Living.

You'll get over it.

You were angry this morning.

- In the attic?
- Yes.

No, not really.

You're in love.

Eh?

- He loves you, you know?
- I know he does. Is it over?

- What?
- The interrogation.

You can ask me questions too.

I'm not curious.

Fine.

Do you really believe
that you'll leave one day?

Yes. Yes.

Imagine. The sea...

immense.

The ocean...

and the sky.

What?

What have you done
with your moustache?

- I shaved it off, obviously.
- What got into you?

- What do you mean?
- You looked better with it.

Yes, well. Come on.
There's work to do.

I wonder if, in fact...

I don't know. You just have
to get used to it.

Well.

I didn't know there was so much
space between your nose and lip.

Now you know.

But he's full of charm,
the little sweetie.

Give me a break.

Don't cry.
It'll grow back.

Be a man, my little Frenchy.

Ah, little Frenchy...

You and your superior airs.

You English have
always been a pain in the arse.

You think you're smarter
than everyone else.

I am. I'm smarter, more skilful
and more nimble.

- What, you're more skilful
and nimble than me? - Yes.

Ah no, no, no...

No, please, not that...
Don't touch that, OK?

It's a sextant, it's very fragile.

Don't fiddle with it.

OK then, go ahead.

Climb onto the roof of the house
like me, if you're not a wimp.

With pleasure.

Blindfolded.

You weren't blindfolded.

No, but this time you will be.

OK.

OK.

Why did he do that?

It was a bet, Léon.

I saw something like that once,
at the Jean Richard circus.

- Oh yes?
- Yes, it was a brown bear.

He was gagged and...

No, it wasn't a bear.
It was a...

- A sea lion.
- Ah.

Yes. And...

It was a sea lion...

But it wasn't on a tightrope.

You're afraid.

No, no. I've just got more
guile than you.

I'm not going to risk breaking
my back for fun.

- Léon?
- Yes, sir?

We need to get poison
for the rats.

Yes.

- Do it today, will you?
- Yes.

And anticoagulant.

Anticoagulant?

Anti...

David.

David, wake up. David.

Ssh, quiet.

- What?
- Here, take this.

Get up, quick.

Come.

What time?

- What time is it?
- Hurry up.

Come on!

But what time?
What time is it?

- Come on!
- I'm so thirsty!

- Ah shit...
- Get dressed! Quick, come on.

What's going on?
What do you want?

- To work.
- What?

Work, yes.

There's lots to do.

But it's 4:10am.
You're crazy.

- We leave on Friday.
- What do you mean?

We leave on Friday
in the boat, come on...

We were meant to stay
another ten days.

- We were, but now we aren't.
- You're just saying that...

I have things to do,
things to sort out.

Like what?

Everything! I don't know...
My affairs.

You could get your affairs
sorted in half an hour.

I haven't even got my shoes!
Leaving, leaving, leaving...

Yes?

But what about...

What about...?

Eleonor.

What?

I'm saying now we have to
think about Eleonor too.

Are you kidding?

Not as such.

Oh David, you'll find
dozens of... gonresses

- Gonresses?
- Gonzesses.

You'll find dozens of better
girls than her.

Come on, David.
We have work to do.

Wait, I don't have my shoes!

No shoes for sailors.

Coffee?

David, do you want some coffee?

No.

Chocolate? Tea?

Leave me alone.

Don't make that face.

I think she's very sweet.

And beautiful.
She's really beautiful.

Not stupid, either.

So you have doubts.
You're not the first.

Thanks for the information.

And you won't be the last either.

So what?

The girl's going home.

And you're crazy in love.

Who says I'm in love?

Just see how you've changed.

You don't change, do you?

Still the same
pain in the ass.

Right, I'll make coffee.

Yes, that's it.

Go make coffee, go.

Hey, tea!

Yoohoo!
It's me, little weed!

Ah, like that... Gonzesse!

Hey, you!

You're kidnapping my wife.

Don't listen to him.
I'm not his wife.

- She's a mother.
- Quick, start the car, quick!

Do you want me to call the police?

- I don't know this lady.
- I do.

Come out. I forgive you.

I'm staying. You...
You madman.

Listen, madam...

Get out. Go with your husband.

See? The gentleman is reasonable.

Get out of my car, now.

Ouch!

Old fool!

Your things, madam!

Thank you, sir.

Did you hurt yourself?

Aren't you going to say anything?

No, no.

Nothing to say?

For example, English pig?

Eleonor...

You know why I'm here,
next to you?

Huh?

If I made David leave
the room this morning,

it was premeditation.

Premeditation.

I love you.

Idiot.

I love you.
Forever, I mean.

- Is it over?
- Is what over?

- The clown act.
- Ah, yes.

But will you stay for my
friend, for our friend, David?

You were afraid.

Eh? What now? Where?
How so, afraid?

To go up onto the roof
blindfolded.

Oh, please!

I've just confessed my love.

There are dozens of better
girls than me.

Eleonor...

Hey!

Your bag!

Why did you come
to the bedroom?

I was bringing you
your breakfast.

At 4am?

I wanted to strangle you.

Did you want to sleep with me?

No.

Absolutely not.

David.

David, come.
Let's have coffee.

You're beautiful.

You look like a bear.

Oh, what are you doing?

- I'm a bear.
- A bear...

You look better,
without the moustache.

It's true.

Make up your minds, eh?

- Are you coming for a walk?
- Oh, no.

- You told me about a river.
- No, let me sleep.

She's right.
Go for a walk.

If you stay another week,

you'll need to get your
things from Paris.

You too.

A week?
Why a week?

Because after that we're leaving.

Definitively.

- Where are you going in a week?
- To Besançon, to my aunt's.

Why did you... Why didn't
you tell me?

Because you didn't ask.

And how did you know that?

No need to make a
big deal out of it.

You're getting touchy.

Like a young girl.

David!

I don't like it when
you're not around.

I am around.

I don't like being
alone with him.

- With who?
- Olivier.

Why not?

I don't know.

He's strange and he scares me.

Olivier scares you?

- That's ridiculous.
- No, it's not.

Completely stupid.

Let's talk about
something else.

He's the most amazing
guy I know.

To me, he's...

He's more than a brother.

This morning too, was amazing.

- What does that mean?
- Nothing.

Yes, it does. You've either said
too much or not enough.

When you left.

Well?

He came into the bedroom.

So?

It's his house.

He approached the bed
like a wolf.

And he threw himself
on me to kiss me.

Ha.

Just messing around.

He was joking around.

What's that?

A scratch.
I was in a tussle.

Impossible.

But I was only joking.

- Intolerable.
- I'm telling you, I was joking!

Badly, but I was joking.

What's that scratch then?

In the car.

Are you kidding me?
You don't do that in a car.

I'm telling you, I got it
in a car, hitchhiking.

I got caught by an overhanging
branch, that's all.

A branch?
Hitchhiking?

You're a bad liar,
my poor Eleonor.

You really are a bad liar.

Will you pass me the bottle,
please?

That's a real shame.

What's a shame?

Using Veuve Clicquot brut.

Oh, Léon, please.

It's a baptism.

You have a tendency to forget.

That's right,
I have a tendency...

But in my opinion...

a dry white would have
done the job.

Oh really?

And why not Coca-Cola?

Or Vichy sparkling water?

Why not?

Because God
turned water into wine.

- Do you remember?
- He did that?

- Yes, he did.
- Then he's a good god.

He is a good god, but you're
going to annoy him

with your absurd suggestions.

- Absurd?
- Absurd.

You're not the one who'll
be sailing on board.

- That's selfish.
- Me? Selfish?

Yes. Big head.

- Huh?
- In English.

- Big head.
- Ah. Big head.

- Yes, that's right.
- Ah, ok. Big head.

Me, I'm a big head.
Well, well, well.

Ah!

Here come the lovebirds.

Big head.

I'm going to tell Germaine
that, big head.

The honour of baptising this
boat falls to you.

What am I meant to do?

You say:
I name this ship Eleonor.

God bless her and all who sail in her.

And then you let it
hit the boat.

What does that mean?

"I name this boat Eleonor.

"God bless her and all those
who sail in her."

- I name this boat El...
- No, in English.

I name this ship Eleonor.
God bless her and all...

Who sail in her.
- Who sail in her.

- Shall I do it?
- Yes.

Oh, Christ.

Again. A little further back.

To your love.

And to love and friendship.

Go ahead.

Germaine!

Hurry up with the appetizers.

So, are you coming up?

How? Do you want me to hold
the trays between my teeth?

You should help me
bring out the rest.

There's more?

You made a full cargo?

- You're never happy!
- Go on, climb the ladder.

David, will you help Germaine?

Will you?

Cheers.

Why "Eleonor"?

Huh? What did you say?

I said: why use my name
for the boat?

Oh, I don't know.

I could have called it Léon
just as easily.

Yes, sir?

Oh, nothing.

I was saying I could have
named this boat Léon.

Well, oh that...

that would have given
me great pleasure.

Starboard, Eleonor.
Port side, Léon.

- That's nice.
- You like it?

I do.

- That's enough!
- What are you doing?

- Yes, that's enough!
- What are you doing?

I despise you and your money!

You're a failure.
Love, friendship, all that,

none of it exists for you, any
more than leaving on this boat.

Shut up.

All your tricks to get into
Eleonor’s room this morning.

- I'm telling you it's not true!
- You, leave it!

The bedroom?

I think we'll call this
boat Léon after all.

You bastard!

What's the matter with you?

Oh no!

Children, please.

Not over a woman!

What's the matter with you?

David...

Get out of my sight before
I grind your face into the ground!

Get out of my sight!

Or I'll kill you.
By Christ, I'll kill you.

Go on, get out.
Get out!

Or I'll kill you, David.
Get out!

!And don't ever bring your...

soul before my cursed eyes again!

Ah, please! Peace!

Peace!

What's going on?

It's as I told you.

- What? - The girl! It was
the girl who caused the trouble.

They shouldn't have involved her.

And the boys fighting... Doesn't
stop you getting drunk, does it?

- Put that bottle down!
- I won't.

Take this for me.
Put that bottle down!

Is that the tray of appetizers?

You're always getting drunk.
Take the tray.

Have you got any more?

Put it down!
Then put the bottle down!

Yes, yes, I'll put it down.

Hello? Mother?

It's me.

Olivier.

I’m OK, yes.

Yes.

I want to see you.

I don't know.

I need to see you.

When are you coming home?

Can I see you today?

You can't?

Tomorrow?

Yes.

OK, I'll call you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Olivier!

Olivier!

David!

David!