The Big Fat Quiz of Everything (2018) - full transcript

This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
from the start


Hello and welcome to
The Big Fat Quiz Of Everything,

the super-sized, mega-bucket,
full English of quizzes.

If you haven't seen the show before,
like everything big and fat,

it's fun and jolly and
no-one can quite believe that,

after all these years,
it's still going.

OK, let's meet our teams.

The perfect way to start the day,
it's a little Danish and a

cup of steaming Joe,
it's Sandi Toksvig and Joe Lycett.

He's massive in grime,
she's just plain dirty,

it's Katherine Ryan and Big Narstie.


And one is one half of
Baddiel and Skinner

and the other is the other half
of Baddiel and Skinner,

it's David Baddiel and
Frank Skinner!


See, this show is a bit like
being back at school.

What were you like at school?
Big Narstie, what were you like?

My teacher said that...

..that I had great potential.

But I just BLEEP up a lot.

They actually said that? Yes.

My school doesn't exist any more.
Closed it!

Did they close it or did someone
burn it down? What happened?

No comment.

what were you like at school?

Well, I'm not Katherine for a start,
Jimmy, I'm Quiz Jenner!


Thank you.

You see, Kris Jenner is
my Woman of the Year.

I love the Kardashians,
they're a matriarchy of

shape-shifting sisters who
destroy men or turn them to women.

It's very much a sci-fi programme.
I'm into it.

I was a very good girl in school,
though. Very academic.

I just wanted to please adults and
I wanted to do the right thing.

And I was not a cool kid.

Who'd have known I'd turn
into such a slut?

Frank, what was school like
in the olden days?


I found, as long as you
remembered your gas mask... was OK. I was expelled from
school, actually.

Genuinely? Genuinely.

I was expelled for embezzling the
school meals service,

was what it said.

Did you ask for some more? I think
I've seen a documentary about this.

Yeah. Have you met Fagan? Oh!

Oh, it's started early. Early on
with that! Who had one minute?

while we're on the subject,

I did go to a Jewish primary school,
it was a very Jewish primary school.

I had one line in the school play.

It was, "Well, Rabbi, you certainly
do drive a hard bargain."

Now that is a very Jewish play.

Genuinely truly? Genuinely true.

You think it's Rabbi,
but then at the end, it's bargain.

Sandi, were you good at school?

I'm going to top Frank, I got thrown
out of three schools in a row. No!

Yeah, that's pretty cool, isn't it?

Yeah. Genuinely?

Yeah, genuinely, genuinely. Well,
give us the reasons, give us the...?

Well, the last one it was
a misunderstanding,

I had no idea you were supposed
to be there every day.

I just found
school unbelievably boring.

So, I went to school in the
United States,

and I remember the teacher saying,

"This year, class, we're going to
read Catcher In The Rye."

So they gave us Catcher In The Rye,
I went home, I read it,

I came back in, prepared
to discuss it - I didn't realise

we were going to read it one word
at a time, all year.

So I thought I would come back
when they'd finished.

So I got sent to British
boarding school,

which is how I ended up here.

I think this is all lies and you
were dealing drugs.

That's what I think.

Let's just be honest about things.

The world's smallest drug dealer.

Joe, school, tell me,
what were you like?

I was very sweet,
I was very well behaved.

I also went to Birmingham,
but I went to a grammar school. Ooh!

Because I'm a prick.

And I played by the rules and I got
good grades and here I am.

And I'm ready to win.

OK, on with the quiz.

Our first round is all about
history, as in historical events,

not the thing your dad wipes
from the computer every morning.

Archaeologists are constantly
trying to date things,

and maybe if they lost the cardigan
and sandals, they'd have more luck.

In 1582, Italian scientist Lilius

released the Gregorian
calendar we still use today.

Lilius worked tirelessly on his
creation for ten years.

28 hours a day, nine days a week.

Father of medicine Hippocrates
diagnosed illness by tasting

the bodily fluids of his patients.

He would taste ear wax, their
urine, their snot and their pus.

Which is also how he came up with
the recipe for Marmite.

OK, let's get started,
here are some questions.

Mount Rushmore is one of America's
most famous landmarks,

but can you tell me which four
people are featured on it?

It's presidents, innit?

DAVID: Presidents?

Speak up,
I don't think they all heard you.

It's DMX!

No-one thinks DMX is on
Mount Rushmore.

Sandi doesn't know what a DMX is.

OK, next question.

In 1982, the Ubre Blanca became
a national hero in Cuba.

Fidel Castro claimed the Ubre Blanca
showed the superiority of communism.

What I want to know is,
what is the Ubre Blanca?

It sounds like a lovely
white wine to me.

This is a person?
No, I want to know what it was.

Siri, Ubre Blanca.


Look, my client... I'm turning it
off. Why have you got two phones?

I guess...
I guess, one for business?

One for business,
one for bitches, am I right?



Seems reasonable.

That's another thing Big Narstie
and I have got in common.

You go, girl!

Wouldn't be The Big Fat Quiz

without the children of
Mitchell Brook Primary School.

They're acting out an
historical event. Aw!

Take a look, tell me what they're
doing. It's pretty cute.

This is taking ages.

This is too expensive!

Zut alors, what do we do?

Let's dig under the water.


'Ello, mate.

All aboard.


Now we are connected to
Europe for ever.


I mean, it's just adorable.

It'll be much less sweet after
Brexit, won't it, that?

Horribly poignant ending.

Take a look at this vintage
news report.

All I want to know is,
what are these people talking about?

Erm, no,
I didn't find it terribly easy.

Yes, I think I'll be all right when
we get used to them.

They'll be lighter to carry around.

I don't think it's difficult as
I thought it might be.

It wasn't so bad.

I don't like them very much. This
little one is too small and light.

But I'm not very keen on the
other two.

One would hope that it would be the
nonevent of 1970 and 1971.

SANDI: Wow. If I'd ever
met that man, I'd have turned.

He was sexy, wasn't he?

I mean, he was, yeah, magnetic.

Look at him there. Look at that.

Is that a Carry On film?

That was the news. Peggy Mitchell
was buff, know what I mean?

"Peggy Mitchell was buff,"
did you say?

Peggy Mitchell was, like, the UK's
Pamela Anderson in them days, eh?

Yeah, she was hot. Shamone.

Yes. I mean, a good point,
well made.

OK, so what were they talking about
in that news report?

We're going to win. We've got this.

NARSTIE: 1971?
I wasn't even in the world.

I was in me dad's ball bag.
I wasn't even...

When you say you were in
your dad's ball bag...

I wasn't even in the world yet.
DAVID: When? '71.

Weren't you? No, man,
I was in my dad's ball bag.

Just chilling out with the rest of
the sperm, you know what I mean?

Imagine the size of your
dad's balls, though.

I would say you can't have that,
"I wasn't alive then."

I know who Alexander the Great was.

Because you were at primary
with him.

You're confusing history and memory.

OK, now, next question - we're
over to the star of

Mrs Brown's Boys, Brendan O'Carroll.
Take a look.

Hiya, Jimmy. Now, I play a famous
Queen in Dublin, Mrs Brown.

"Hello, Jimmy,
you're a very bold boy."

But I'm here to ask you about
another Mrs Brown, Queen Victoria.

She married Prince Albert in 1840,

but what tradition did she start
on her wedding day?

It's going to be like... rice.

Like rice? Yeah, you know.

Oh, throwing rice. Shh!

As opposed to the buffet.

She looks like she's got a face
that's been hit quite a lot of rice.

Some of it still in the tin.

Do you know what she said about
her honeymoon night?

Go on, what did she say?
"It was most gratifying."

Because Prince Albert was the,
he was famously...

The Prince Albert of Prince Albert
fame? Yes, yeah, indeed.

No, he wasn't. Yes.
He got his old knob done?

So why do people call the
Prince Albert the Prince Albert?

It's called the Prince Albert
because he had a Prince Albert.

Because he was very well endowed
and he had to strap it to his leg

to not get in the way when
he was riding. What?!

That's why he had the Prince Albert.

But, like, if he got an erection
midway through the day

did his leg just go...?
He would go, "Whoa!"

"Hang on, Victoria, we're up!"

But who rides a horse, like,

forward, on the end
of your dick, anyway?

This boy!

So, are you ready for some answers?
Of course you are.

I asked you which four people are
depicted on Mount Rushmore.

What do you all put?

Roosevelt, Lincoln...


Washington. Jefferson.

Yep. And DMX.

DMX! What you really want!

What you really want!

# What do you really want? #


OK. David and Frank,
did you get this?

We've got Washington, Lincoln,
Jefferson, Roosevelt,

everybody's talking
'bout... pop music.

OK, well, everybody got that right.

Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and
Lincoln. There they are.

I always think that,
on the other side of Mount Rushmore,

there might be four
rock presidents bending over,

sticking their heads through
Mount Rushmore.

Actually, the other side looks like
this, I can show you.

NARSTIE: Is that Bruce Willis?

I asked you about the Ubre Blanca.

Did you know what the
Ubre Blanca was?

We went with cigar, but I thought it
might be something to do with,

like, blanca is white,
but I did thank may be white wine,

but we decided they don't
really drink white wine.

So we just thought cigar, because...

No, it's a good guess, because it's
Cuban. It's absolutely wrong.

Now, David and Frank, normally
I would just read your answer and

know what you've put,
but you've just done some shapes.

If you tell us the answer then
we'll tell you what our answer is.

We actually drew the object.

We went for white cigar.

Because we went for white
as well and cigar. OK.

What have you got,
Big Narstie, Katherine?

The Cuban regime.

And also Che Guevara's cousin. Yep.

OK, well, they're both wrong.

So you're double wrong.

It was, in fact, a cow.

It was a cow that produced
an awful lot of milk.

Oh, he loved milk!

That is true, Castro was obsessed,
so obsessed with milk,

the Americans tried to poison him
in his daily milkshake.

NARSTIE: Swear down? Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me that when we
were working out the score?

The children of Mitchell Brook
Primary School did a lovely

play for us. They were terrific.
What were they acting out? Sandi?

Building the Channel Tunnel.

Of course, the right answer. Did you
get this, Katherine, Big Narstie?

The Channel Tunnel for the Eurostar,

Yeah, Disneyland Paris, homie!

Je m'appelle and all of that.
Merci beaucoup.

Oi, croissants!

Je m'appelle, all of that,

I mean, if you don't speak French,
that will have been lost on you,

but, wow,
quite the journey he took us on.

Frank, what have you got?
We've put Chunnel build.

That used to be...
It was called the Chunnel. Yeah.

Did they call it Chunnel?
It was called the Chunnel, yeah.

NARSTIE: Why's that?

Well, it's quite complicated.
It's cha...

It's channel and tunnel.

Sacre blue!

I showed you some vintage
news reports.

I asked you what everyone was
talking about.

Katherine, Big Narstie,
your answer was...?

Ball bags. Yeah.

SANDI: Ball bags?

Well, you know,
it was a joke at first,

because Big Narstie was not born -
neither was I - in 1971.

We were in our fathers'
respective ball bags.

But then the women were talking
about carrying things and it

was better than they thought it
would be and how to lift them.

And then we thought, ball bags.
This might be about ball bags.

Sandi, Joe, what have you got?

We went with decimalisation,
because that is the correct answer.

Yes. You're absolutely right.

Want? SANDI: Instead of p, we used
to have d, and d was denarius,

which was the original Roman coin.

I always wondered that!
You're a genius.

She's a genius, but she didn't know
about that fucking cow,

though, did she? No.

You don't know nothing about no
Cuban cows! No.

OK, Brendan O'Carroll asked you
what wedding tradition

Queen Victoria started.
What did you put?

We thought it was
maybe throwing rice.

Apparently that's an old thing from
the Middle Ages

and it represents fertility.

The rice actually represents the...

Oh, you're joking. Yeah.

Imagine if you came and it was
confetti. It'd be marvellous.

I bet you, when clowns ejaculate,
that's what happens.

It was the cow!

That would be a great Channel 5
documentary, When Clowns Ejaculate.

So I can tell you,
it's not the confetti,

but was an old thing from
the Middle Ages.

So, what did you put,
Katherine, Big Narstie?

What have you done to Big Narstie?

Also, why doesn't he make any
noise when he laughs?

I mean, I realise I'm on the other
end of that spectrum, I make too

much noise when I laugh, but that
was just a wobble when you laughed.

For some reason,

he's laughing at the thought of a
Cuban cow ejaculating and I don't...

Look, he's gone.

Do you remember, before he started
laughing, when he had eyes?

He used to have eyes.
Look, there they are again!

DAVID: Nobody can see
them for the tears.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!

You know that cows are female,


No, they've gone again.

He is making a noise now, though.


Oh, that was good,
that was good, that was good.

I have no idea what was funny about
that, but something happened.

OK, what did you put ...?

KATHERINE: It's not that funny.

Rice tastes a lot better than what
actually comes out.

I move to change it.

Stay away from Sugar Puffs and
asparagus. Please.

Why, what does Sugar Puffs do?

Eat Sugar Puffs for two weeks and go
for a wee, you'll understand.

Two weeks?! DAVID: Have you eaten
Sugar Puffs for two weeks?

David, you don't get
a figure like that

not eating Sugar Puffs
for two weeks.

That's a man who's lived on
Sugar Puffs.

It must have been an
extraordinary piss as well.

Katherine, Big?

The big man pointed out that
Queen Victoria

couldn't leave the country to go
on honeymoon, could she?

So she started the tradition of
lifting the veil

and then shagging at home. Mmm-hmm.

Why couldn't she leave the country?
Because she had to be Queen.

Cos the film on Channel 4,
when they wanted to go, she's like,

"I have to look after the country.

"So we'll just stay in bed for a
couple more days."

And she was getting that well!


I'm going to say wrong on a
number of levels.

A, she could leave the country.
And B, erm, no.

Can I just say that Big Narstie
is actually right.

Because what happened was,
he wanted to go on honeymoon

for several weeks and go to Germany
and she said,

"I have to stay and be Queen,"

and they had two days
in Windsor Castle instead.


Well, the unfortunate thing is,

that is not the answer to the
question that we had in the quiz.

But it was the answer to the
question in life!

Sandi, Joe, what have you put?

Well, Sandi wrote this,
wearing white.

Is absolutely the right answer. Yes!

It's a lace, white wedding dress,
yes, correct.

There she is.

OK, so at the end of the first
round, the scores are -

Sandi and Joe have seven points.

Katherine and Big Narstie have five.

David and Frank have six.


Join us after the break for more
Big Fat Quiz Of Everything.

Well, what else are you going to do,
talk to your family?

I didn't think so.


Welcome back to the
Big Fat Quiz of Everything.

Yes, yes, yes! I love quizzes!

We love Jimmy!

This next round is all about music

so it doesn't matter
if you like the Spice Girls

and Justin Bieber or actual music,

there's something here for everyone.

At a gig in 1982, Ozzy Osbourne
caused controversy

after biting the head off a bat.

It looked confused,
smelled disgusting

and I was worried it'd
give me rabies,

said the bat.

In the UK, Oasis had eight number
one singles, eight number one albums

and 828 serious fights
about nothing in a car park.

OK, and to ask our first
music question,

it's over to Stacey Solomon.
Hi, Jimmy.

This question is about one
of my all-time heroes, Madonna.

She had a massive hit in 1990
with Vogue and the rap

in the middle lists 16 ladies
with an attitude

and fellas that were in the mood.

But can your teams
remember three of them?

OK, so, she wants to know,
Madonna song Vogue,

she listed 16 people
in the rap in that song,

you just have to name three of them.
Couldn't be easier.

All right, next question, I'm going
to play you three pieces of music

all I want to know is what connects
these three pieces of music?

OK? Here we go.

MUSIC: Seven Nation Army
by The Stripes

# Go West
Life is peaceful there

# Go West
In the open air

# Go West
Where the skies are blue... #

# Bread of heaven
Bread of heaven

# Feed me now and ever more
Ever more... #

OK. Three pieces of music
there you heard.

Seven Nation Army by
The Stripes, it was Go West

covered there by the Pet Shop Boys,
and it was Bread Of Heaven

by whoever writes hymns.

The hymn writer guy. OK.

I thought that was Big Narstie.

Aw, thanks.

Let's hang out.

I think we should hang out.

You're not helping.
What kind of thing?

I don't know. I'm just flirting
with Big Narstie now.

Do not flirt with Big Narstie,
he's mine.

Am I right?


I would like to broker
that sex tape.

OK, for our next question
it's over to the Channel 4 News room

where Jon Snow is reporting
on a classic song.

I just want to know
what's he talking about?

Environmental health officers
in the United States

are investigating a dairy factory

after reports that local men

were exhibiting peculiar symptoms
after consuming their products.

According to eyewitnesses,
one drink in particular was,

making the guys go crazy

and in some cases lose their minds.

The substance is said
to be extremely addictive,

with large numbers
of men congregating

in the yard outside the factory.

Researchers have suggested
that the company's process

may involve warming up
the raw ingredients.

But in a defiant statement
the company's owner refused

to divulge her recipes,

saying that she had have to charge
for the disclosure.

And while investigators
said, "thieves get caught",

she had a bullish message
to any potential market rivals

saying, "Damn right,
it's better than yours.

"Damn right,
it's better than yours."

The case continues.

Back to you, Jimmy.

Thank you, Jon Snow.

I love him.

You know there's a character called
Jon Snow in Game Of Thrones?

Come on. There is, isn't it?
Win the game.

Oh, fantastic. Come on!

David Baddiel, he's down with
the kids if anyone's wondering.

Yeah. Yeah, man.

I've always thought that's
a bit weird, though.

It's like in Star Trek if there was
a character called Fiona Bruce.

In history, John Snow was the person
who brought clean water

to the UK, to London.

Really? So, there are lots
of John Snows.

I think it's...
I'm going to go with common.

You want to know about common?
Frank Skinner.

There was a... There was a...

There was a fast bowler who played
for Sussex and England

called John Snow, also.

See, common.

OK, well, what was THAT Jon Snow,
off of Channel 4 News talking about?

OK, take a look at your screens.

I've got five dolls

all based on famous pop stars.

Who are they? Couldn't be easier.

Oh, I know that one.

I mean, they're almost
like photographs.

One of them is
Joe Lycett, definitely.

That one on the right-hand side, top

is definitely Joe Lycett.

That is actually what Joe Lycett
uses on his Grindr profile.

OK, I'm going to show you
three album covers.

They've all been subtly improved.

All you've got to do
is name all three albums.

You get a point for each on this.

So there's the first one.

What album is that?

Here's the second one.

If anything, more beautiful
than the first.

SANDI: This is you, you're
a young person!

And the third one.

JOE: Oh, I know that one.

Thank you.

Thank you, one man that whistled

KATHERINE: I don't know, though.
I don't know.

OK, are you ready for some answers?

Yes. All right.

So, Stacey Solomon wanted to know
three ladies with attitude

and fellas that were in the mood.
What did you all put?

We put Greta Garbo and Monroe,

Dietrich and DiMaggio

and then we quit.

Chilling, get that bag.

Do you know the whole thing?

I know mostly Cardi B lyrics.

OK. David, Frank, did you get this?

We got Greta Garbo,

Fred Astaire and John Snow,
the Sussex and England fast bowler.

We could only remember
Garbo and Astaire.

Garbo and Astaire, OK.

I don't know if I've ever listened
to the song any further than that.

Do you want to have a listen? Yeah.

# Greta Garbo and Monroe
Dietrich and DiMaggio

# Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean
On the cover of a magazine

# Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean
Picture of a beauty queen

# Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire
Ginger Rogers, dance on air

# They had style, they had grace
Rita Hayworth gave good face

# Lauren, Katherine, Lana too
Bette Davis, we love you

# Ladies with an attitude
Fellas that were in the mood

# Don't just stand there,
Let's get to it

# Strike a pose,
There's nothing to it

# Vogue. #

Did you get all of those?

We gave up writing.

We got one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven of them.

But then we stopped writing,
because you asked another question.

OK, so, three points,
three points, two points.


OK, I asked you what linked
Seven Nation Army, Go West

and Bread Of Heaven?

What did you get?

Jeremy Corbyn.

You're partly right,
but you don't get a point for that.

Sandi, Joe? We just put gay,
all gay.

So, how come I only get half
a point?

Because you didn't get it right.

You don't get a half a point,
you get no points.

You didn't get it right, I don't
know how else to express that.

You said I kind of
got it right, though.

Well, you kind of, like,
you're on the right lines

but you didn't get it right.
You're giving mixed messages.


David, Frank, what did you put?

We put they're all football chants.

And you are absolutely right.


We can hear the football chants.
Oh, OK.


# Sit down if you like to lose

# Sit down if you
like to lose... #

# You're not fit to wear the shirt

# You're not fit, you're not fit

# You're not fit
to wear the shirt! #

Was that Bread Of Heaven?


Yeah, that wasn't
the original version, though. Oh.

The one you played for Go West,

I can't remember what it was
but it's not the best one.

The best one is, "You're shit
and you know you are."

That is the best. That's the
classic. That's the classic.

Because it's an incredible thing
to say as an insult, isn't it?

Yeah. Not only are you shit, at
heart you know that about yourself.

And so, what are your favourites?

I think the best football chant ever
was one that West Brom used to do.

It was, "We will follow the Albion
over land and sea and water."


You saw Jon Snow
reporting on a famous song.

Did you all get it?
Milkshake by Kelis.

Yeah. I think we did.

Let's go over to Jon
for the reveal.

# My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard

# And they're like
it's better than yours

# Damn right, it's better than yours

# I could teach you
but I'd have to charge

# My milkshake brings
all the boys to the yard

# And they're like
it's better than yours

# Damn right, it's better than yours

# I could teach you
but I'd have to charge

# You know you want it
The thing that makes me... #


God love him.

Points all round, points all round.

OK, I showed you five
pop star dolls

and asked you who they
were supposed to be.

What did you put?

I was just watching that clip
of Jon Snow

and I'm going to be honest,
there's some confetti down here.

Yes, a clown just passed.

Clown, right.

A clown's race!

OK, so, I think you all
got the first one.

So, let's go to Sandi and Joe.

Sonny and Cher. Sonny and Cher, yes,
that is Sonny and Cher.

Let's have a look at those side
by side. It's a good Sonny. Yeah.

The Sonny's not bad, at all.

OK, so, the next one Katherine, Big
Narstie, did you get the next one,

the top right? The blonde?

We're very confused
about that creepy looking doll.

Is it the boy from Bros? Boss?

I'm afraid you're not right there.

David, Frank, who did you
think it was?

We thought it was Matt.
We thought it might be,

but then I thought Matt Goss
probably hasn't got a doll.

Well, he might have done at the
time, but he doesn't have one now.

It's actually, and you'll
going to kick yourself when see it.

Oh, no. Yeah. It's sort
of Ronan Keating. No!

That doll does not look
anything like

whoever that man you said he was.

You don't know who Ronan Keating is?
Ronan Keating, OK.

Which one is he?
# Life is a roller-coaster. #

That's him. Oh, my God.
Ronan Keating's here, everyone.

What band was he in?
He was in Boyzone.

Ah. Boyzone.
And they sound like this.

# Life is a roller-coaster. #


I didn't actually realise
I could do that.

OK, next one. Bottom left,
who do you think that was?

No idea.

A young P Diddy? Ohh! Yes!

I thought it might be
George Michael?


What? Bottom left. God rest
his soul. Bottom left.

Yeah, bottom left, George Michael.

You know it's the black guy,
you know that? Yeah.

They're supposed to be bad dolls.

I can tell you it is
in fact MC Hammer.

Ohh! MC Hammer!

Of course!

All right, next one.

Justin Timberlake!
Justin Timberlake!

Do you not think that doll
looks like his brain's

on the outside of his head?

Yeah. But so does Justin Timberlake.

Oh, fine.

Well, when you look at this picture,
and you're absolutely right

it is Justin Timberlake,
but this guy's a heart-throb.

That rice is on the boil again.

Rice is on the boil, I like.

And the next day it's the
Rice Krispies on the sheets.

OK, I showed you three album covers,
that had all been subtly improved.

Yeah. OK, did you get the albums?

Are they all greatest hits?

They are not all greatest hits.

We went for One Step Beyond.
One Step Beyond is absolutely right.

Let's see. So, that's me.

And this is Madness
and their version of that.

OK. One Step Beyond,
so you get a point there.

Then we couldn't get the middle one

but we thought it was Katy Perry's
I Kissed A Girl, was the last one.

Katy Perry... It's One Of The Boys
by Katy Perry, is the album.

It's not called I Kissed A Girl?
The single was I Kissed A Girl.

Oh. And then the middle one.

It's Celine, is it Celine?

It is Celine Dion.

Did you get the album title?

We only got the people,
we didn't get any titles.

It's Let's Talk About Love.

So, that's the end of
the music round.

Let's take a look at the scores.

I can tell you,
bringing up the rear,

Big Narstie and Katherine have 12.

David and Frank have 14.

Sandi and Joe have 14.

Join us after the break
for more Big Fat fun.

Welcome back to
The Big Fat Quiz Of Everything.

The next round is all
about film and TV.

What's not to love about TV?

Hollyoaks, it's Hollyoaks.

Is that the end of that joke? Yeah.
Oh, right.

In Forrest Gump, Tom Hanks plays
a backwards simpleton

who often wears a red hat

and it was so popular in America,
some years later, they elected

someone similar as President.

In 1960, the film Psycho
was released.

My girlfriend always gets really
annoyed because whenever she's

in the shower, I copy that famous
scene from Psycho.

She'll be standing there
under the water

and secretly, without her knowing,

I'll fuck my dead mum.



Thanks, Sandi.

Thanks, appreciate it, thank you.

Thank you very much.

OK, time for some
film and TV questions.

Take a look at these short clips
from classic movies.

Can you tell me what links them?

C-3PO: Ah!




You saw a thrilling fight scene
from Return Of The Jedi,

a spectacular epic battle in Gondor
from Lord Of The Rings,

and Michael Keaton's
gothic Batman coolly throwing

an evil clown over a railing.

What links those three clips?

OK, next question,
when Channel 5 News launched

on the 31st of March 1997,

Kirsty Young did something
that was a first on British TV.

What was it?

No, she didn't do that
on Channel 5 News, Big Narstie.

That would have been newsworthy
in and of itself.

Do you know Anthony Perkins doesn't
fuck his dead mum in Psycho?

That's not what happens.

You know the massive laugh
you gave me on that joke?

Take it back!

He dresses up as his mum
and kills people.

Yeah, but... Unless there's
a bit I've missed.

There's a director's cut.

OK, next question.

I love the fact...
I love the fact... couldn't let that go.
No, I couldn't!

I love everything about you, but I
love the fact that there's a pedant

within you that just, "Well..."

Also, do you know what?

There's also a "ped-ant"
that calls it "pedunt".

Unbelievable, unbelievable. OK.

Next, it's over to
a comedy legend, Eric Idle.

Hello, Jimmy. Now, I've been
reminiscing about

the Monty Python years
while writing my new autobiography,

Always Look On The Bright
Side Of Life.

And all the amazing things
that we achieved,

but it's the achievements
of another group I want to ask

the teams about - The Romans.

Can your teams tell me three things
the Romans did for us,

according to The Life Of Brian?

OK, so what did the Romans
do for us?

Yeah, yeah, yes!

Three things the Romans did for us.

I'll read it out...

Frank, what were the Romans like?

I found them very intrusive.

Take a look at these four shapes.

All I want you to do
is tell me what they are.

Couldn't be easier.

Are they the different signs
in non-binary toilets?

OK, you've all got something?

Famous films often have different
titles when released in non-English

speaking countries, so I'm going
to give you four translated titles.

I just want you to tell me what
the original films were called.

There's a point for each.

OK, so I need
the original title of...

Mum, I Missed The Plane.

That's the first one.

The Teeth Of The Sea
is the second one.

Electronic Murderer.

And Father Bastard.

Father Bastard? That's just
a biopic of my dad.

Mum, I Missed The Plane.
The Teeth Of The Sea.

Electronic Murderer.
And Father Bastard.

I got snacks, Narstie, don't worry.

I'm too late.

Can I have the fourth one again?

What was the fourth one, darling?
Shh, shh.

Oh, is Big Narstie sleeping?

No, he's not, he's just fabulous.


OK, ready for some answers?
I showed you three scenes

from iconic Hollywood movies
and asked you what connected them,

what did you all put?

Um, Screaming. Screaming.

Screaming. Oh, no!
Good versus evil.

John Williams we put. John Williams,
I can tell you, incorrect.

I can tell you good versus evil,

Scream, absolutely the right answer.



..I'll tell you, they all feature
the same scream -

a scream sound effect that has
appeared in over 150 films to date.

It's called the Wilhelm scream.

That's... It's called the Wilhelm

scream because a character
that used it was called Wilhelm

and they just kept on using it,
it's the best ever scream.



I think I'm a...

Just about to get the clown...




I asked you what Kirsty Young
did for the first time

on Channel 5 News in 1997.

Katherine, Big Narstie,
what'd you put?

WHISPERS: It's our turn.

Big Narstie, you...
Has he gone to sleep?

It's our turn.

Uh? Are you all right, Narstie?

Yeah, you lot was doing some proper
white people joke, I was lost.

OK, let's get on with
the quiz, everyone.

OK, so what have you put
for this one, Katherine?

So, that's Kirsty Young, so what
did she do for the first time

on Channel 5 News? Swore?

Yeah, she swore, she went,
"This is the fucking news."

No, she didn't swear. What was...

..Sandi, what do you think?
She stood up.

It was a huge deal at the time.
We said stood up as well.

OK, well she read the news
standing up.

So points to you,
points to you, no points here.

Eric Idle asked you to name three
things the Romans did for us.

What did you put?

Sanitation, aqueducts, roads.

OK, what did you put,
Katherine, Big Narstie?

Roman walls, we also had aqueducts
and the baths,

and then Big Narstie added
that they were gay.

That's the Greeks, I think.

Via the Romans. Yeah...

OK, you've got two.
Sandi, what did you get?

We put roads and architecture,
we thought we'd cover all of

architecture, and then we put
coinage, because we couldn't

remember what it said in the film.

So, one point,
two points, three points.

OK, I asked you what
these four shapes were.

Sandi Toksvig,
I imagine you got this.

She bloody did as well!

It's the aerials
from the Teletubbies.

Is there nothing you don't know?! We
got it, too! Did you get it as well?

We got it, too, Teletubbies.
What, Tinky Winky, Laa-Laa and Po?


OK, you got, you got what,
Big Narstie?

I thought they were road signs,
like, one is yield, the other one's

carry on, the other one is there's
a highway that, you know the ones

that go up in the sky?
And then a roundabout.

Have you got a driving licence? No.
Because I'm going to take it away.

I already lost it.

But it wasn't for misreading
road signs.

Tinky Winky was the one who was
accused of being gay

by Jerry Falwell,
an evangelical preacher,

because he had the triangle
on his head, and he was purple,

which is apparently a gay colour,
and carried a handbag.

And he was sucking loads of dicks.

Imagine getting a blowie off...

Do you know, I'm really trying.
I'm really trying, and I can't.

Do you know what would be lovely?

It would be lovely to have something
to hold on to. Yeah!

A little handrail.

Oh, Tubby custard!


Oh, these people are sick,
these people are sick!

They are sick, man.

I gave you four translated movie
titles. What were the originals?

OK, so the first one was
Mum, I Missed The Plane.

Home Alone. Of course,
it was Home Alone...

Oh... Back in the game.
OK, so, no point, point, point.

The next one - that was the
French title for Home Alone.

The Teeth Of The Sea, you all
got this, right? Jaws. Jaws. Jaws.

The French title for Jaws,
of course. Electronic Murderer?

AS ARNIE: "Sarah Connor,
come with me if you want to live."

"Get to the chopper."
I'm not Sarah Connor.

Um, Terminator. Terminator.
Terminator, Terminator of course,

and you put, Joe? RoboCop.

Was not a murderer.
It was law enforcement.

Yeah, well...

Justifiable homicide.

Good point. OK, um...

Father Bastard?

I put Daddy Dickhead.

I panicked and I thought
that might be a film.

That is a film you should write.

What did you get, Katherine,
Big Narstie? Bad Santa.

OK, and David, Frank?

I thought it was the Father Brown,

the popular Kenneth Moore,
black and white movie

based on the GK Chesterton stories.

I wish it was that. I'll, uh...
Yeah, yeah, that's the right answer.

It was called Father Brown,
but... What was it?

It was Bad Santa, of course.
It was Bad Santa. You get a point.


So, points on that,
one, four, three.

Whoa, so we're, like, back
in the game now.

Time now for a quick bonus round.

We asked one of Britain's most
distinguished actors, Charles Dance,

to read a selection of film reviews
that were all posted online.

All you need to do is work out
what films he's talking about.

OK, here's the first one.

Two and a half hours of utter crap.

Basically, two monkeys having
a barney over a bone.

Then one of them touches
a giant space Kit Kat.

One star.

OK, so which classic of cinema is
Charles Dance talking about there?

You've all got to write
down the answer.

Two monkeys have
a barney over a bone...

OK, right, let's have a look.
See if you got it right.

So you've put... You've put what,
David and Frank?

2001: A Space Odyssey.
OK. You've gone for?

Planet Of The Apes. Planet Of
The Apes, and you've gone for?

Yeah, we did Planet Of The Apes
as well. Yeah, Planet Of The Apes,

Planet Of The Apes, and the answer
is 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Very nice. OK, next one,
over to Charles Dance.

Modern-day Cinderella with blowjobs
instead of slippers.

One star.

I tell you, it's not a panto
I'd take my kids to.

OK, let's have a look,
see what you got. Sandi, Joe?

Pretty Woman. Pretty Woman.
That's my favourite film, you know.

Is it?!

I used to watch that with my auntie
Margaret all the time and that.

That's a powerful film, blud.

Is that why you don't kiss
on the mouth?

All Pretty Woman, all makes sense.

You don't kiss on the mouth?

Really?! No, I'm a titty man.



Oh, Sandi...

Honest to God,
I felt that from here.

I'm so sorry you had to hear that,
but you did ask.

David and Frank, you got? Pretty
Woman. You got Pretty Woman, OK.

Katherine, Big Narstie,
what did you go for?

We went for 50 Shades Of Grey
and my life.


OK, it was of course Pretty Woman.

OK, back over to Charles Dance
for the next one.

Please note there is no full frontal
male nudity to be found here.

But the rear exposure is glorious.

Five stars.

So, no full frontal nudity,
but the rear exposure is fantastic.

OK, have you all got something?
Yes, Jimmy Carr.

OK, Joe, what have you got?
We wrote down The Full Monty.

The Full Monty.
OK, well, that is disappointing.

You wrote, David and Frank?

Well, we wrote that, but I thought
it might be Magic Mike.

But we've written Full Monty.

What did you write, Katherine,
Big Narstie?

We were about to write Full Monty,
weren't we?

Yeah, then we put Magic Mike.

Well, you were absolutely bloody
right to write Magic Mike,

it was Magic Mike!

OK, well, let's see how you're
doing after that. In last place,

Katherine and Big Narstie
with 19. What?!

Just ahead, Sandi and Joe with 20.

David and Frank have got 24.


Join us after the break
for more Big Fat fun!


Welcome back to the Big Fat Quiz Of

The next round is all about science.

Or as Donald Trump calls it,
"fake news bullshit".


Where would we be without science
and technology?

Well, modern day Norfolk gives
you a pretty good idea.


The first animal to orbit Earth was
Laika the dog.

And it's believed Laika's final
thought was...

"How fucking far did they throw this


OK, time for some science questions.

In the 1960s, NASA researcher
Margaret Howell Lovett entered into

an intimate relationship with a
co-worker named Peter.

She was trying to teach him English.

Why was it controversial?


Which beauty product was originally
derived from a substance found

in rotten sausages?

Katherine Ryan's specialist area.

Mmm. Rotten sausages.

Rotten sausages!

Beauty substance?

OK, now it's time to go to a local
entrepreneur and Kurupt FM owner,

Chabuddy G.

Yes! Yes, Chabuddy G!

Hi, Jimmy. Now, I've run several
successful businesses in my time,

including Chabuddy's Worldwide
Internet Cafe,

where you could spend hours surfing
for all sorts of animal pics.

Not in a weird way.

But, it's one animal in particular
I want to ask about.

Can your teams tell me why this dog
found internet fame in July 2010?

OK so, why did that dog find
internet fame?


I don't really like the idea of

I don't like the idea of my cat
being an influencer.

I think that's a weird idea.

Like my cat is going to influence
other cats to, like, meow for ages

to go out and then come straight
back in again.

That's going to really piss off lots
of other owners.

It'll be fine.

My son, who's six,

he's got cat allergy,
and a few weeks ago he woke up

with quite a heavy cold.

And he said to me, "Do you think
maybe I dreamt about a cat?"


What a fucking idiot.



I don't know where I went wrong.

OK - what profession uses tools
of the trade including

the brain scoop, artificial tongues,

earliners, fleshing balls

and the eager beaver
table top flasher?

I love an eager beaver.


Sorry, did I say that out loud?

Question five, OK. Time for a say
what you see.

I love these, OK, they're very

Take a look at these pictures.

And all I want you to do
is tell me what moment

from the world of science
are they spelling out.

You know, you mentioned Laika
before, the Russian dog

that went into space? Oh, yeah.
You know it died in space?

I didn't. It's a sad fact.

Apparently they did that thing of
leaving the window

just a little bit open at the top.


OK, let's have some answers, OK.

I asked you what was controversial
about NASA scientist

Margaret Howell Lovett's intimate
relationship with a co-worker.

Big Narstie and Katherine,
I'm interested in your answer.

Why did you think her relationship
with a co-worker was controversial?

He was a black man.


I'm going to say no.

You put... David, Frank?

Peter was a dolphin, is that right?
They've put...

Yes, but we put dolphin but,
it wasn't the fact so much

that he was a dolphin, as the nature
of their relationship.

What have you written there?

I didn't think at any point in my
life I'd be writing

on a little screen and Sandi Toksvig
would lean in and say,

"Put in brackets hand jobs."


Well, she was absolutely bloody

Do take a look.

But, as Peter's urges grew more

the process of transporting him down
to the two female dolphins

to satisfy him, proved disruptive.

And, Margaret felt the best way of
focusing his mind back

on the lessons, was to relieve his
desires herself, manually.

It was just easier to incorporate
that and let it happen.

It was very precious,
it was very gentle.

Peter was right there, he knew
that I was right there.

Again, it was sexual on his part,
it was not sexual on mine,

sensuous, perhaps.

It would just become part of
what was going on.

Like an itch. Just get rid of that,
we'll scratch it,

and we'll be done, move on.

And that's really all it was.


I was there to get to know Peter.

That was part of Peter.

Oh, God!

What I was about to say,
it was a different time.

Isn't she?

Yeah, I mean, you're probably

what wanking off a dolphin's
got to do with NASA.



What are you two doing?

We're celebrating that we got
hand jobs...

..into a show.

It's OK. Here, do you want one?

Have you brought a hamper?
Yeah, I've got a picnic.



Just a couple of basic bitches.

See? Cheers, darling, well done.
Cheers. You want some?

Can I just ask, that is great,
but are they going to get

more points for hand jobs?

Because we did say
Peter was a dolphin.

Oh no, you get a point,
you get a point.

Yeah, you're all absolutely right.

Surely we get more points for the
actual nature of the relationship.

No, because the question was,
why was it controversial?

It was with a dolphin.

OK, let's have the next question.

Dolphins do apparently assault

Have they got, I wonder what their
cocks look like?

What does their cock look like?

Yeah. When you think of Flipper, you
don't think him with a cock, do you?

You think, Flipper.
You know what I mean?

He is a mammal, though.

Joe, what are you opening?
Yeah, what's going on?

We're having a pork pie. A pork pie!


Do you want some?

I'm probably all right, cos I'm sort
of right in the middle of work,


Do you want some pork pie?
Yeah, I'd love some. Pork?

Yes, don't do that.

I've got a basket of treats as well.

Because Big Narstie, I love you so
much, I want you to stay

focused on the quiz.

I'm not prepared to give you
a hand job.

And so instead, I've brought
all your favourites.

Did anyone bring anything for
grandad and grandad?

I'm having some pork pie.

What would you like to eat first?

I'm going to smack these Cheetos.

Next question, I'll talk over the
unwrapping of food.

I asked you what beauty product was
originally derived

from the substance found in rotten

or possibly Sandi's pork pie.

What did you put?

Er, Botox.

And then I put in brackets,
"hand jobs".


OK, I'll give you that, Botox.

David and Frank, you put?

We put Botox. Botox.

And Katherine, who knows more about
plastic surgery than anyone!

Well, you said beauty and, like,
then I thought Botox is botulism

from cows, I thought they said.

Well, they first got it from rotten

Hold on.

So, you're telling me there's a girl
walking around right now

with pork
and apple sausages in their face?


Next thing, OK, so you all got -
Botox, Botox...

Ah, you got it wrong, Katherine.
Who knew?! I can't believe it.

Chabuddy G wanted to know why

this dog found internet fame in July
2010. What did you put?

It's the very first photo on

That is absolutely the right answer.



Brackets, hand job! Hand job!

Well, why not brackets, hand job?!

What did you put, David and Frank?
We got it wrong.

I thought, you know those dogs that
say I love you on the internet?

They go, "I love you".


I love you! I thought it might be
one of those.

That is a very good impression.

OK, sadly, no. First-ever picture
on Instagram. What did you put?

You put space something.

We thought maybe he went to space.

My daughters between them have
hundreds of thousands

of Instagram followers
and this dog is trash.

OK, Quiz Jenner...

I asked you what profession uses
the following:

a brain scoop, artificial tongues,
earliners, fleshing balls,

and the eager beaver table top
flesher. Did you get it?

It's taxidermy.

Taxidermy brackets, "hand jobs".


OK, finally, there was a say what
you see. What did you all put?

We were so close, I think we might
have it.

What have you got, Katherine?

If you think you're close, what have
you got?

We definitely knew meteor, dinosaur,

and Big Narstie's been sparring
a lot in the gym.

So, that one photo we didn't know.

Fight, box... We put box -
meteor box, dinosaur...


Meteor box, dinosaur.

So, when she hits the thing, you
thought it was boxing, did you?

When it hits it?

Oh, the meteor... Oh!


OK, what did you put, Sandi?
Did you get it?

Meteor strikes dinosaurs.
Brackets "hand jobs".

Hand jobs.


But the meteor didn't hit the
dinosaurs, did it?

It hit the tall ones.


I wondered if it was
a very, very hot day,

and one dinosaur said to a crowd,

"Let's go and stand in that
ever-increasing circle of shade.


And that's how so many of them got

Meteor hits dinosaurs.

So, points, points, points.


Ladies and gentlemen, it's now time
for a special guest.

Please, will you welcome star of
Strictly and This Morning,

it's Dr Ranj!


Hello. Hello, Dr Ranj.

How are you?
I'm very well.

So, a little known fact, the last
time that Joe and Katherine

and I were in the same room,
Katherine and I had a selfie

with a picture of Joe in a magazine.

Yep. I've still got said magazine.

What magazine was Joe in?

It's quite soggy, but I've still got

I love you, Ranj. Tubby custard!

I must say, that is quite a
fetching bomber you have there, sir.

Very nice. Thank you. I know brown
person said bomber, don't panic.


Quite good!

OK now, you've got a question for
our teams? I do.

Science round.
Dr, come on, question.

OK, so, as a doctor, I need to know
a lot about the human body

and how it works.

Well, at least until Google came

So, on each of your models,

I need you to locate two muscles and
a bone. Steady!


The two muscles that I would like
you to identify

are the rectus abdominus.


The humerus and, finally,
the rhomboids.

OK, so, jump up, grab a pen,
they've got pens on them,

and you can just write on
the models.

OK, so, the first one is the...

Rectus abdominus.
Rectus abdominus.

So, draw the rectus abdominus
wherever you think the rectus,

and try and spell rectus abdominus
while you're at it, why not?

Where did you get these outfits

Where do I get them?
From my own personal collection.

I'm going to have to hurry you up
on this.

They all look like diseased sperm.

OK, so, Dr Ranj,
talk us through it.

What was the first one you wanted?

Rectus abdominus.

And where is the rectus abdominus?
Show us.

You know what? You actually got it

It is these two muscles.

It's your abdominal muscles,
your six-pack or barrel.

OK, how did they do? They should get
a point. It's kind of...

Cos we... OK, you're in the right
area. And what about these guys?

A, B. OK, and then what was
the second thing?

Er, humerus.

Humerus. Where was the humerus?

We thought the humerus was just

That is a humorous place to point.

There's no going away from it.

OK, where did you think the humerus
was? Boom-boom!

You thought it was the funny bone?
And, you guys...

Oh, smart, that's smart.

Just there. It's actually the bone
that joins the shoulder

to your elbow.

So, it's that bit.

So we don't get it for that?

I don't think that's right.

I mean, it's The Big Fat Quiz Of
Everything, I mean,

it's not the final medical exam.

They're not going to go into
practice off the back of this.

I think we could probably say the
elbow is where it starts. Yeah.

And give them the point, Doctor.

OK, and then what was the last
thing? It's your rhomboids.

Now, this is actually quite
difficult because...

Is that completely wrong?
That's totally wrong. OK.

Your rhomboids are actually two sets
of deep muscles that run

from your spinal column
to the edge of your scapula.

So, they are just here
and just here.

Are they on your shoulder?

Just behind your shoulder.

No, no points there for the front?

Oh no, they're at the back.

No, we've done an arrow there
to point all the way

up to where the rhomboids are.

OK, so, the point, at the end
of that, so you get one point,

two points, two points.

That's that. That's it, OK.


All right, well, sit down.

OK, let's see what that's done to
the scores.

I can tell you that Katherine
and Big Narstie have 22,

Sandi and Joe have 26,

and David and Frank have 30.


We're going to take a short break,
while I get Dr Ranj

to look at this rash.

See you in a few!

Thank you very much for coming in.

Welcome back to The Big
Fat Quiz Of Everything.

The next round is all about people.

People are amazing.

So much so that I've asked Geppetto
to turn me into one.

Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle website,
Goop, recommended women steam-clean
their vaginas


No wonder Chris Martin left her.

He was trying to use that kettle
to make a cup of tea.

OK, time for some
more big fat questions.

OK, they're all about
people this time.

For the first one,
it's over to Basil Brush.

Hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello, Mr Jimmy!

Basil Brush here.

Now, I'm known for being
a sophisticated gentleman

about town.

But it's another classy gent
I want to talk about.

James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan
was widely reported to be banned

from doing something during his
tenure in the iconic role.

Can your teams tell me what it was?

Boom, boom, everybody!

OK, so you'll be able
to work this out.

What's the question?
Pierce Brosnan was not allowed...

He wasn't allowed to do
a very specific thing the whole time

he played Bond. Acting.

OK, take a look at
these three musicians.

I want to know what links them all.

It's Michelle Stephenson, Dick
Evans and Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy.

What links those musicians?

They're all white.

One of them's quite orangey.


Kim Kardashian...

Someone's perked up!

Yes. My favourite...

..I mean, my middle daughter.

Your favourite, OK.

Kim Kardashian is Hollywood
royalty, no doubt.

Can you tell me
who her godfather is?



This woman here is a Kardashian?

That's Kim Kardashian.
That's Kim... Well, hello!

No, Sandi.

Just above there is her face.
Oh, I see!


I think Sandi just motorboated.

What a wonderful thing!

Gary Kremen invented something
that directly resulted

in his girlfriend leaving him.

What was it?

Just write it down if you think
you've got the answer.

Write it down.

What did he invent?

That's me with a porn
addiction, I think.

I've genuinely not seen porn.


Ever? Ever.

So you been in more
porn than you've seen?

Yeah, that's why I can't watch it.

I don't want to meet
my real dad that way.

And, finally, whose feet are these?

It's our Quentin Tarantino question.

Whose feet are these?

It's that, isn't it?

Do you think? Do you know?

OK, are you ready for
some big fat answers?

Basil Brush wanted to know
what Pierce Brosnan was not allowed

to do while he was Bond.
What did you put?

Drink gin, we thought.

Drink gin?

Cos he have to drink
vodka the whole time.


It's a pretty good answer.
That's a no, though, isn't it?

What did you put, David, Frank?

We didn't know.

I thought he might not
be allowed to have a tattoo

because he has to appears
sort of nakedish.

It's another good answer.
It's a very good thought.

It's not right.
Katherine, Big Narstie?


We thought perhaps he wasn't
allowed to go to casinos.

Oh, God, I'm tempted
to give you that.

He wasn't allowed to wear
tuxedos in other films.

Why were you tempted
to give me that?

Casinos kind of felt like...

Just because YOU wear tuxedos
to a casino, the people in MY town

don't even put pants on.

So, no points there.

OK, so I asked you what linked
Michelle Stephenson, Dick Evans

and Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy.
What did you put?

I just thought they looked
like very similar people and thought
maybe they're the same p


It's a great answer.

I mean, would that it were true. No.

What did you get? Big Narstie,
you're in the music business.

I don't know these people.

OK, no-one's accusing
you of anything.

David, Frank? Well, I think...

I don't really know about the first
two, but Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy,
I think,

was originally a member
of Duran Duran.

So, I think they're all in famous
bands, but not the famous people

in them originally.

That's exactly the right answer.

I can tell you that Stephen
"Tin Tin" Duffy was replaced
by Simon Le Bon in Duran Duran.

Michelle Stephenson was replaced
by Emma Bunton in The Spice Girls.
Oh, no!

And then Dick Evans
was an early member of U2.

Oh, blimey! What does Dick do now?

I imagine U2's laundry.

I don't know, he's
The Edge's brother.

I think he's still
connected to the band.

Can I tell you a story
about The Edge? Yeah.

I met him once.

A long time ago.
It's not a great story.

It's not the end of the story.

And I was with a woman I was going
out with at the time who didn't know

much about pop music.

And he came up at this party
and said, hello, I'm The Edge.

Right? And she went, pardon?

Which you might, really.

And he went really red
and he said, I'm The Edge.

And she said, sorry,
what was your name again?

And he went really, really red
and said, my real name is whatever

it is, David Evans,
but people call me The Edge.

And it was kind of really weird.

No-one ever asked him
before that his name

is like an abstract concept,
it's not really a name.

No-one had pointed that out.

So I kind of pushed her away
and said, this is embarrassing,

Sarah, which was her name, do
you really not know who that was?

And she said, no, I think I do now.

But what I thought he was saying
was that his name was Reg.

OK. I asked you who was Kim
Kardashian's godfather.

Joe, Sandi? Donald Trump, we've put.

Because I don't know who these
people are in the first place.

So who their godparents
are was a mystery to me.

It's a bloody good guess.

I imagine he knew
them back in the day.

I think there's photographs of them
together. But it's not Donald Trump.

Let's give this one to Katherine
Ryan because she deserves it.

Oh, my gosh!
I misunderstood the question,
I thought you said father.

Yeah, yeah!

I thought Michael Jackson.

Then my associate, Big Narstie,
said it's OJ Simpson.

So we put OJ Simpson.
You got this wrong?

You got the botox question
wrong! Who are you?

I feel like I don't even
know you any more.

I'm Quiz Jenner.

Is it not Michael
Jackson or OJ Simpson?

OK, it is Orenthal J Simpson.

Oh, good. You got it!

That's the right answer.

And that's the right answer
as well, Frank and David.

Did we get it?

OJ Simpson is the godfather.

You know, a godfather is meant
to guide you morally through life.

A great choice,
people, great choice.

OK, this round not going
brilliantly for Sandi and Joe.

Oh, yeah, why don't
you rub it in, prick?

I asked you what Gary Kremen
invented that directly led

to his girlfriend leaving him.
Joe Lycett, did you get the answer?

We thought maybe...

Well, I thought
specifically PornHub.

But Sandi thought
maybe internet porn.

Internet porn is not quite the right
answer. Katherine, Big Narstie?

A vibrator. A sex toy.

You think he invented a sex toy?
That is not the right answer.
But, again, good answer.

I know the answer to this. David
and Frank? It's funny, I think.

and found another boyfriend.

That's absolutely right. Brilliant.

I showed you a photo
of a pair of feet.

All I want to know is, whose feet?


The Statue of Liberty.
The Statue of Liberty.

Libertas! I mean, that's a very
classy way of getting the answer
absolutely right.

David and Frank?

Yeah, I was at the Statue of Liberty
two weeks ago, and it's the first

time I ever realised that one
of the feet is slightly raised.

Oh, no, she's walking forward.

To liberty, carrying the torch.

Katherine, Big Narstie,
you thought it was?

Julius Caesar.
Move on with the quiz, please.

Time for another quick bonus round.

This is the part of the show where
I introduce two mystery guests.

All you have to do is work out
who they are and why

they might be noteworthy.

However, you can only ask them
yes and no questions.

Please welcome our mystery guests.

Nice to see you.

Very good to see you.

I would say hello and ask
you a few questions.

But obviously I can't
because you're mystery guests.

You can only ask them
yes or no questions.

As soon as you think you've got it,
write down the answer,

and we'll move on.

Are you married?


To each other?


Were you involved in
a news story together?

Yes. Are you swingers?

Not yet... yes, no.

They are not famous
for being swingers.

Was the news story
in the last 12 months?

No. In the last five years?

No. Did it relate to your marriage?


Was it ten years ago?

No. Nine?

No. Eight? Seven, six? More than.

20 years ago? More than.


Have you been married
since you were two?

Thank you.

Are you more closely related
than married couples ought to be?

Great question. Thank you.


Was it 30 years ago?

When was it?!

Was it 30 years ago? No.

More than 30 years ago?
Was it when you were born?

Oh, what fucking year was it?
She's going to ask forever.

OK, I'm going to give
you a clue here.

They're married, that's
a huge part of it.

And how they got married
is a big part of it.

It was more of a first.

So you were the first people to do
a particular ceremony?


You got married on TV?


Round of applause? No? OK.

You need to be more specific than
that. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pipe down!

Did you meet through a game show?

Yes. OK, write down your answers.

Cos that's all you're getting.

OK, we've all got answers?

Tell us, who are you?

We are the first couple to get
married having met on Blind Date.

Well done. Let's have a look and see
whether you got the answer to that.

OK, so Blind Date.
Sandi and Joe, you got it.

Katherine, Big Narstie,
what did you put?

Live TV. The first person
to be married on live TV?

You're close, but you don't
get a point for that.

David and Frank?

First Blind Date marriage.

OK, well done.

Before we chat to you, shall
we have a look at you in your glory?

Take a look.

I often work as a Tarzanagram in
the evenings to get some extra...

It's true.

How would this affect
our relationship?

Well, that would suit me fine,
actually, cos I work several

nights a week as a kissagram.

We might even go into
business together.

Anyway, you'd soon get fed up
cos, once you got to know me,

you'd want to spend every
evening in with me.

Well, I never!

It's time to choose now.
Who are you going for?

Number two.

Sue from the West Midlands.

Come in, Sue!

Come on, tell us, first impressions.

Well, she's lovely.

Very nice. Very nice.

And she still is!

Aw, you're so sweet!

You got married off the back
of meeting on Blind Date.

How many years have
you been married now?


Was Cilla at the wedding? Oh, yes.

Along with 17 million
people who watched it.

Is that more than
the last royal wedding?

I think it was. Yeah.

It was.

That's kind of amazing!
The ratings for the year. Yeah.

Let's have a look and see
what that's done to the scores.

Katherine and Big
Narstie have got 23.

Sandi and Joe have got 28.

In the lead, David
and Frank with 35.

We're going to take
another short break.

Ladies and gentlemen, a big
hand for Alex and Sue!

Welcome back to the Big
Fat Quiz of Everything.

The next round is all about places.
There are all kinds of places

in the UK you can visit
and have a nice time.

And, if you don't fancy that,
you can always go to Middlesbrough.

Stonehenge is amazing.
It commemorates a time, thousands

of years ago, when several ancient
Druids got together and thought,

"We need something to go
with this gift shop and car park."

There's actually very little you can
tell me about Ancient Greece,

because I'm not interested
and I won't bother listening.

OK, time for some more questions.

Why might owning a guinea
pig land you in trouble

with the law in Switzerland?

Owning a guinea pig?
Yeah, owning a guinea pig.

All right, second question here -

have a look at this photo
of the Zerao Stadium in Brazil.

What's unusual about
the halfway line?

It's in Brazil.
What's unusual about it, OK?

Take a close look at this picture
of Paris - what's unusual about it?

Oh, yeah, OK, let's do that.


Now we go over to Radio 1 DJ
Clara Amfo.

Hi, Jimmy. Now, I'm often surrounded
by stars in the Live Lounge,

but it's an entirely different type
of astronomical body

I want to ask you about - the moon.

The moon has got 22 seas,
but can you name three of them?

So, name three seas on the moon.

You can all name
one, and that is it.

We can all name one sea on the
moon?! Yeah, we can all name one.

There's one really famous one.


Finally, time for another
"say what you see".

A very satisfying
"say what you see".

It's to do with places.

Which famous event in exploration
history is being spelled out here?


Let's go to some answers.
I asked you why owning a guinea pig

in Switzerland
might land you in trouble.

What did you put, Sandy?

We put they're illegal,
but we couldn't think why. Ah.

THEY are not illegal.

I think it's illegal...
You have to have two, otherwise

it's considered cruel because
they are, they'll get lonely.

What did you put?
Because you need a pair.

That's the right answer,
that's the right answer,
for the right reason.


I mean, technically,
it's illegal to have one.

You can't have one
you've got to have a pair. OK.

Next question - I showed
you a picture of a football
pitch in Brazil.

I asked you what was weird
about the halfway line -
what did you put?

That halfway line is not halfway.

OK, that's not the right answer.

I guessed it was on two
different hemispheres,

and then Frank extrapolated
from that that the line

is on the equator. Ooh!

100% right.

I think, Sandy and Joe, I think
you've got this as well.

But you put it in a very
nice way, as you do. Zero latitude.

Yes. Correct.

All right, I showed
you a picture of Paris, I asked
you what was unusual about it.

What did you put?
It's not in France.

It's not in France, you said?
It is in Japan.

And you said? We said it's a model.
It's a tiny model taken
from a funny angle.

It's not a model,
it is a real place.

"In Japan" is not the right answer.

It's not in France, I've got to give
you that. It's actually in China.

Can I say, the least impressive
plaque I've ever seen

was on Blackpool Tower,
where it says "Blackpool Tower,

"the 122nd tallest free-standing
tower in the world."


Clara Amfo asked you to name three
seas on the moon, what have you got?

We could only think
of the really famous one,

Mare Tranquillitatis.

The Sea of tranquillity,
vitamin C and CBeebies.


Those are the most famous Cs. Yup.

OK, Katherine, what did you put?

Big Narstie knew that one.

Taurus, Goa, Belmo and Xavier.

As guesses go,
they are great guesses.

Dave and Frank.

Well, we knew Tranquillity,

and I had an idea that was a kind of
a theme, that they all sounded
a bit like that


so we went for Serenity
and Sincerity.

Well, two of those are right.

Wow! Not Sincerity, there is
no Sea of Sincerity.

Is there actually, like, warm
water on the moon?

It's a good question. I don't know
the answer. Are there actually...

No, there's no water, is there?
No. What you mean, a good question?

There's no water on the moon!

Well that's where we got tripped up.
Why's it got a sea, then?

I mean, it's...
It's a fucking mind-fuck, man!

You could have had the Sea
of Tranquillity, Sea of Clouds,

Sea of Moisture, the Sea of Showers
and the Sea of Cleverness.

There's a fucking sea of
no fucking water, you mean!


And of course, and of course
the Fucking Sea

of No Fucking Water. Finally, we had
a "say what you see".

Did you all get this? Yup. yes.
It was of course...

Captain Scott's Arctic expedition.

Oh, no! Antarctic.

Yeah, Captain Scott's
Antarctic expedition.

Oh, you got it, though! Yeah, we
almost got it. We had Magacan.

Magacan, Scott, Arctic. Scott.

What was that? What was your first
word? Mega-can.

Because that is a Make
America Great Again cap.

MAGA can?!
How did you get MAGA can?!

I thought it was, like...
Cap, tin.

Do you know what's crazy about us?
It's that... This is your answers!

No! We were able to get...

MAGA can?!

Like, what's going on?!

If we can figure out Antarctic
expedition and then...

Did you think MAGA can
was the first person to go

to the North Pole?
It sounds like Madagascar, though.

OK. Points to Sandy and Joe.
Point to David and Frank.

Now, I'm going to point something
out because I think someone

will notice it on the telly.
Which is, we got it wrong.

We've said Captain Scott's
Arctic expedition. Not Antarctic.

Oh, that's... Oh, hang on. Yes.
And it makes a big difference,

because you said North Pole
and it's South pole.

It's the wrong pole. Yeah.

OK, well, just points
to Sandy and Joe there.

You said expiration, not expedition,
but we are going to give
you the point. Thank yo


Hang on a sec. We're not going to
get any points just because we
missed out one syllable.

We were in the right fucking part of
the world! Hang on.

Hang on, hang on.

There's been a... there's been
a steward's inquiry.

Points for Sandy and Joe,
points for David and Frank.

No points for Katherine
and Big Narstie.

No, no, no, but we also
had Antarctic expedition and Scott,

which was the captain's name.
Yeah, MAGA-can!

Time now for another bonus question.

It's time to welcome a special
guest - its First Dates
barman, Merlin Griffith.


Hey Merlin. Hey, how are
you doing, Jimmy?

Very good to see you. Thank you for
having me. I believe you have a
question for these good


I do.

Our question today, excuse me,
I will need sunglasses...

Yeah, just in case you thought
he wasn't sexy enough, he puts
on the glasses.

A bit of swagger. Oh yeah.
Like Superman. Go on, Merlin.

So, I'm going to make
three classic cocktails,

talking you through the ingredients
as I make each one.

All I need you to do is write
down the names of the cocktails

I've made. OK, make some drinks.
I will.

So, the first drink, we've got
a little vodka, a little... what is
that? White rum.

Vodka and rum.

We have tequila and gin.

And a little triple sec. Right.

A little lemon juice.

Yeah, because you don't want
it to be too alcoholic. No.

Take all the edge
off, that lemon juice.

So, rum, gin, tequila, vodka,

triple sec, lemon juice.

And cola. And that gives us
our first cocktail.

OK, I mean, that is...

So, write down what you think that
might be. Write down that one.

Right. OK, there's your first one.
OK, so that's the first one.
Lovely. Here you go.

Do you want to try, Joe? Any
interest? Yeah, always.

Right, perfect. Enjoy.
It's that good time of night.

Yeah, that should be delicious.
OK, so, the next one.

Lovely. Next one's going to have

..some lime, a little
mint, a touch of sugar.

Rum, lime, mint, sugar.

A little soda water. Soda water.

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

We're in a nightclub, baby.

Hey what's your name, good-looking?

Let's have that, I'll dish this out.
Thank you very much.

Katherine, care for one of these?
Yes, please. Take the edge off your

Lastly... OK, lastly.

..we have, whisky, a lot of.
Oh, yeah.

Lemon juice. Whisky, lemon juice.
Again, touch of sugar.

Little bit of sugar. An egg white.

Fucking hell!

And a little bitters.

So, Angostura Bitters.

And there you have it.

I mean, this is beautifully done.

Close your eyes and
you're at a Magaluf sex party.

I'll taste that,
that looks all right.

Egg white and this is... And how
did you get salmonella? Fun story.


So in that is, whisky, egg white...

Oh! Lemon, sugar, bitters.
Good one.

Tell you what, that's nice. Do you
want to try it? Yes, please.

It's pretty, pretty bloody great.
Get them all over here.


Delicious. Ooh! I just got an
electric shock off you.

You ARE a robot.


OK. Well, let's see if
they got them right. OK.

So, the first one was - what was
the ingredients again?

Vodka, gin, tequila, triple sec,
rum, lemon,

and - absolutely right there.

One, two, three, Long Island iced

Long Island iced tea. OK.

And our next one was?
Rum, lime, mint, sugar, soda.

And that was? A mojito.

We've got yes, yes... Yes. ..and...

We put sex on the beach because we
thought it'd be something like that.

Like, slow comfortable screw -
which is a stupid name anyway,

because really, you could call it
like, a fast, awkward, mess.

OK. And the last one was?

And, our last one
was a whisky sour.

Which was a bourbon, and lemon
juice and an egg white, sugar
and a touch of bitters.

OK. So, Sandy and Joe got that.
Dave and Frank got that.

And Katherine and Big Narstie

We had no idea. What did you think
it was? We just made up a name.

Because Big Narstie's heard of it

He said it was fancy so, we called
it a fancy slice. However...

A fancy slice?
Yeah, we didn't know what it was.

Let's take a look and see
what that's done to the scores.

OK, we've got - well, in last place
by some margin, Katherine and Big

Narstie have 26 points.

Sandy and Joe have 35.

Frank and David, 41 points -
way out in the lead.


We're going to take a short
break to enjoy our cocktails.

But one more time, big hand
for Merlin Griffiths, thank you.



Welcome back to the
Big Fat Quiz of Everything.

Our next round is pot luck.

Yes, it's time to shove our junk
through the glory hole of chance

and see what gives it a suck.

We use a lot of German words in

Although, if they'd had their way in
the 1940s,

we'd be using all of them.

OK, time for our last set of

are all acronyms.

What do they stand for? Oh, no.

So, you've got to squeeze them all


Sandi and I don't want to play
any more because

we've got out an indoor croquet set.

Playing croquet.

For our next question, it's over to
boyband heart-throbs, Boyzone.

How're you, Jimmy? Hi, Jimmy!

It's great to be back on the road
with our 25th anniversary tour.

We got together way back in 1993,

but can your teams remember
which worldwide '90s craze

launched the very same year,
bringing us...

..Legs the Frog, Squeal the Pig,
Digger the Crab...

..Chilly the Polar Bear,
and Splash the Whale?

# Life is a roller-coaster

# Let's start to ride it #.


Snap, Crackle, and Pop first
appeared in adverts

for Rice Krispies in 1933.

But, in the 1950s, a fourth member

was very briefly added to the group.

Can you name him?



I have no idea.

The nursery rhyme There Was An
Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly

details the tragic fallout from a
woman accidentally swallowing a fly,

but what finished her off?

Couldn't be simpler.

What household product had a
number of original uses, including

foot cleaning, floor scrubbing
and treating gonorrhoea?

Oh, Frank knows.

All right, let's get some answers.

what do they stand for?

Self-Contained Underwater Breathing


Lights Amplification by Stimulated
Emission of Radiation.


And, I think, I couldn't quite

Thomas A Swift's Electric Rifle.


Three for three.


I'd like to ask the semi-literate
David Baddiel and Frank Skinner

what they scribbled.

We wrote Single Canister on
Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

Then we had a breakdown and we just
wrote "light ant".


Um, Katherine, Big Narstie,
what have you got?

Sussex and Cambridge Uni Bitches,


That's the one!

It's not that - that was their
second choice in the ideas meeting.

And what about LASER?

Yeah. Light Arrow Stun Energy

And then...

Tactical Arrow Stun Energy Reach.

No, that is incorrect.

So, you get all the points there,
Sandi and Joe. Well done.



OK, now, Boyzone asked you
about a craze that started

in 1993, it was huge.

What did you put, David?

We didn't put anything for this. OK.

What did you put, Sandi, Joe?

We thought it was dance,
some kind of dancing.

A dance craze.

Something really crazy
that the kids were all doing.

Splash the Whale sounds a bit like a
blokey euphemism

for having a piss.

But it wasn't that.

Sadly, no. What did you get?

Well, first we put
"Brian McFadden respek".

He was not asked to rejoin the band.

I think he was in Westlife,
wasn't he? OK.


So, I could see why Boyzone wouldn't
ask him to join their band,

because he was in a different band.

Yeah, that's a fair point...
Mrs Maggacan.

OK. All right.

And then we thought it was... it Pogs?

I can tell you the answer is
Legs the Frog, Squealer the Pig,

Digger the Crab, Chilly the Polar
Bear, Splash the Whale -

all Beanie Babies.


I should have known that.

You're genuinely upset at your
performance this evening.

I was trying really hard.

I asked you to name the fourth
character added to Snap,

Crackle and Pop.

We put Puff, because we thought
it sounded good.


What did you write?

I've got Tingle, I've got Tingle.

Snap, Crackle, Pop, Tingle?

No, Tingle, Snap, Crackle and Pop.

Oh. It's wrong, but it's wrong


OK. And what did you write?

We had a long discussion about this.

And I... Because I'm a bit tired,
I wrote Snap, as if it were Snap,

Crackle, Pop and Snap again,
which is obviously wrong.

Double Snap.
Wasn't happy with that.

Yeah, then...
But we thought Puff as well.

Take a look at this.

# You know Snap, Crackle and Pop
And how!

# Well, they've got a buddy
by the name of Pow

# Pow means power and power's nice

# Rice Krispies - power
from whole grain rice. #

I said Pow. I said Pow,
but I crossed it out.

You said Pow, but crossed it out?
Yeah, you can see it.

You can see it, I said Pow.

Yeah, it makes sense - he was the
only one alive at that age.

Flipping hell.

I asked you what finished off the
old lady that swallowed a fly.

A swallowed horse.

Of course. What?!

You're not familiar with the story?
It was a huge story at the time.

There was an old lady that swallowed
a fly. I'm fucking black.

You keep telling me this crazy
stuff, about horses and flies.

Why don't you tell me something
about Bob Marley, yeah?

Big Narstie, I take your point,
but there was an old woman

who swallowed a fly, right?

And then, cos she swallowed a fly,
she then swallowed a spider

to get the fly.

Then she swallowed a bird.

Yeah, then... To get the spider,
because, obviously,

that was a problem, and then she
swallowed a cat to get the bird.

And it was going well, cos then
she got a dog to go after the cat.

I think the mistake was the
next one, cos she got a cow

to go after the dog.

Which, famously, cows don't
really eat dogs. Ridiculous!

But then to get the cow out,
she had what?

What are you going to choose, right?

So, no-one phoned the RSPCA?
What's going on?


Well, they should have,
because she swallowed a horse. Yeah.

She died of course.
She's the baddest.

She's the baddest.

OK. Did you, David and Frank,
you got this?

Everyone got this. Points all
around. OK.


Finally, I asked you what product
could be used to clean your feet

or your floor, or treat gonorrhoea?

OK, now, Katherine, you were very
confident you got this, what was it?


And then, Robitussin as well,
Big Narstie said.

OK, well both, wrong.

Yeah, oh.

David, Frank, you put vinegar?

We put vinegar as well.
Is vinegar wrong?

It is wrong, the answer is... Sandi?


Listerine, yes.

What? What? Mouthwash?

Well, the mouthwash came later.

So, you put mouthwash on your cock?

You can put mouthwash
on your dingle down.

That'd burn, wouldn't it?
That'd fucking burn.

Makes you wonder how they discovered
it worked as a mouthwash

when it had been a gonorrhoea
treatment previously.


I imagine whoever owned the company
was having a hell of a weekend.

I've got one more question.

It's time for our final
Big Fat Question.

I'm incredibly excited.

We're joined by Hollywood royalty.

Some of the biggest stars in
the world are here tonight.

Please welcome
our very special guests.


I mean, if you squint a bit...

Yeah, that's really good,
really good!

OK, so, here's my question.

So, these are all huge Hollywood
blockbuster stars.

We've got Tom Hanks.

I believe anyone in that outfit
looks as much like Tom Hanks as you.

Will Smith, the glasses doing a lot
of the heavy lifting there.

Robert Downey Jr,

Emma Watson,

Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson.

The Pebble, more the Pebble
than the Rock.

And Julia Roberts.

So, between them, these stars
have all grossed billions

at the worldwide box office.

All you've got to do
is put them in order

from the most bankable
to the least bankable.

So, we're only counting films
where they played the lead

or joint lead.

Who brought in the most cash
at the box office?

Two points for each correct answer,

and ten points if you get
the order right.


Oh, a lot of murmuring,
it's a good question.

Can I do my quote from Harry Potter?

Yes. Yeah, sure.

AS DRACO MALFOY: Scared, Potter?

He the man. He's the man.
Very good.

Any other terrible impressions?

# Here comes the men in black!

# Galaxy defenders! #

Can you do the dance?

Can you do, "Just bounce with me,
just bounce with me,

"just bounce with me, come on"?


# Take a walk with me. #

Mmm, yeah.


OK, so, let's put them in order.
So, what have you got, David, Frank?

We've got Hank, Smith, Rock,
Downey Jr, Roberts, Watson.

OK. Katherine, Big Narstie,
what have you got?

We think Harry Potter
films have grossed loads.

And so we've got Emma Watson,

Will Smith, Tom Hanks,

Robert Downey Jr, the Rock,
Julia Roberts.

OK. And then, Sandi, Joe,
what have you got?

We think Robert Downey might
be the highest grossing.

Then Will Smith, Tom Hanks,

Julia Roberts, the Rock,
and Hermione.

AS DRACO MALFOY: Scared, Potter?

I like that a lot.

OK, well, put yourselves in order.

So, closest to me would be
the highest grossing.

KATHERINE: Wow, wow, no!

JOE: Roberts.


So, in reverse order -

so, we have Julia Roberts,
5.2 billion.

Will Smith, 6.8 million.

The Rock, 7.6 billion.

Emma Watson, 9 billion.

Tom Hanks, 9.5 billion.

Robert Downey Jr, 11.3 billion,

at the box office.


OK, so, one point there,
one point there.

You managed to not get
any of those right.

Just think what a great round
that would've been

if you had the real people.


To make them stand in order of...


What about if we do it?

Jimmy will win.

Let's have a look and see what
that's done to the scores.

I can tell you that in last place,
deservedly so,

we have Big Narstie and
Katherine Ryan with 29 points.

And we have joint winners,

Sandi Toksvig and Joe Lycett
have 42.

Frank Skinner, David Baddiel
have 42.

You're joint winners of the
Big Fat Quiz of Everything.


I'm going to put this...

Do we fight for it?
Yeah, you can fight for it.

Jump up, jump up.

You've all won a prize.

You're joint winners of the Big
Fat Quiz of Everything.

Well, that's it, a big thank you to
our panel, our special guests

and thank you for watching.
I'm Jimmy Carr.

This has been the Big Fat Quiz
of Everything, goodnight!


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