The Barge People (2018) - full transcript

In the past ten years,

over 150 people have been reported
missing on the Kennet and Avon Canal...

Nobody knew what horror lurked
on the 140 kilometer long waterway.

Until now...

Aah!

Why did you pack so much?

Well, a girl's got to have
her essentials.

Pack light.

Like all good Scouts,
I come prepared.

Oh!
I love a man in uniform.

Have you, uh,
got a Scout one in there?



Afraid not.

- Aw.
- Left it behind.

Oh, when we get home, then.

Oh, I love being out here.

Makes me feel so alive.

It's going to be
a great weekend.

I can feel it.

As long as
it clears up a bit.

What a cock.

Soph!

Oh!
I missed you.

I missed you too.

How the devil...

This is Ben.



It's an important
business call.

This is so exciting!

We haven't been away together
since we were kids!

- No!
- Oh, come on.

I'll get the bags, then.

If you do
get into any trouble,

give that Giles Hussey
a ring, okay?

He's a top lad.

He'll sort you out
with anything you need.

What have you got there?

Oh, Chomper.
What you got there, boy?

Steered one of these beauties
before, have you?

Yeah. Used to go with my parents
when I was younger.

Excellent.

Well, you know
it's counterintuitive.

Push left to go right
and vice versa.

Yeah.

Try not to go too fast.

I recommend you stick to
two to three miles an hour.

Try to go any faster, and you
run the risk of losing control.

These beauties are...

- ...slow to turn.
- Got it.

Just you operating the barge
this weekend, is it?

It would appear that way.

Well, any trouble,
give me a call.

Trouble?

If you're still planning
on coming,

you better get on board.

Bon voyage.

You're not gonna be
on that thing all weekend?

I'm gonna need help
with the barge duties.

I'm not really
the bargeman type.

I've been so looking forward
to this weekend.

I can't get a bloody
phone signal in here.

He's quite stressed
about work at the moment.

He's pushing for a promotion.

I do... I do love
his dedication, though.

What is it he does, again?

Oh, he's a... he's a fund
manager at Goldman Finance.

Huh.

I couldn't find
a bottle opener.

- Always come prepared.
- Hey.

Cheers.

I knew you'd serve a purpose
on this trip.

So, what do you think
of Ben?

Well, look, Sophie is happy,
so play nice.

I always play nice.

I just think Ben is more
interested in his phone

than in human interaction.

Seeing as it's you,
I'll make an effort.

Aw.

Do you want a go?

- Maybe later.
- Come on!

Oh. Uh...

That's it.

Hold it steady.

Nothing to it.

So here we are.

On a barge
for one crazy weekend

of fun and laughter.

Who knows where it'll take us,
what we'll see and do?

But as long as the beer
is flowing,

the barge will be
a-rocking.

Oh!

- Everything okay?
- I need to charge my phone.

I think Kat
was charging hers there.

My needs are greater.

- This is great, isn't it?
- It's a bit too cozy for me.

I can barely stand up
straight in here.

I don't understand

why we couldn't have gone away
somewhere hot,

just the two of us.

Well, I thought it was nice that
Kat invited us.

After Mum, we need this.

I just thought it'd be nice to
spend some time together alone,

that's all.

Yeah, babe, and we will.

But please just make
more of an effort.

This means a lot to me.

You guys okay with mooring up
for a bit?

Get some food,
maybe do a bit of fishing?

Yeah, I think we'll give
the fishing a miss, okay?

Come on!

You've been in there for ages.
I need to piss!

Five more minute.

I can't hold it any longer.

Where are you going?

If it's good enough
for the bears...

So, you and Ben?

He's great, isn't he?

- Aw.
- You do like him, don't you?

Yeah, of course.

Where do you see it going,
though?

Do I, uh... Do I hear the
distant sound of wedding bells?

Oh! Easy.

We've only been together
a couple of months.

Although we have fallen
head over heels for each other.

No, we have talked
about these things.

What, really?

I was only joking about
the whole wedding thing.

Oh, Ben is a man of structure.
He likes to plan things out.

No shit.

I like that about him.

Anyway, what about you
and Mark?

Surely you two have had
the talk by now.

Mark is spontaneous.

He doesn't like to plan
too far ahead.

Yeah, but you must have
some idea where it's heading.

We've both been hurt
in the past.

We're just taking it
step by step.

I like it like that.

He's happy.
I'm happy.

It's cool.

You know,
Mum really liked him, though.

She said,
"You've got a good un there."

Do you think Mum
would have liked Ben?

Yeah. Sure.

I'm not sure that Dad would,
though.

Yeah, well, Dad never liked
any of our boyfriends.

I remember when
you brought Mike Tucker home

for the first time,

and he caught you necking on
in the kitchen.

- Do you remember?
- Tucker the Fucker.

- Tucker the Fucker!
- Ohh...

Mum didn't like him at all.

She said
he was no good for me.

Yeah.
She was right, though.

She always was.

Mm!
I'm so glad you came.

- Uh!
- Me too.

I knew I shouldn't have come
on this bloody trip.

I can't get a signal anywhere.

That's the point of this trip,

to enjoy being away
from everything.

Some people have a very
different idea of enjoyment.

You won't catch much
in these waters.

- Not living, anyways.
- Why is that?

Cyanobacteria.

This place
is riddled with it.

"Cyano" what?

It's a form of bacteria
common in rivers and canals.

It's worsened over the years
due to climate change.

Don't worry...
It's not deadly to humans.

Although there have been cases
of it causing skin rashes,

vomiting,
explosive diarrhea.

Great.

You're okay as long
as you don't drink any.

I'd advise not to swim in it,
either.

Wasn't planning on it.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Shit.

I think
I've got something here.

Get that filthy water
away from me.

- I told you.
- Is that...

...blood?

I think you'd be surprised
what you miss from the city.

Nah.
Not me.

Take a look around.

This is the life for me.

A life free of conformity.

No getting up early
to do a job we hate

to buy shite we don't need.

What about you?

Would you trade life in the city
with life in the country?

Cow shit and suits don't mix.

You guys are nuts.

The fresh air.

The freedom.

Totally isolated
in your own paradise,

away from all the strains
and stresses of urban life.

Why are you slowing down?

What do we do now?

You're gonna hop off,
open that gate.

Then once we're inside
the chamber, close them.

Use the lock key
to let the water in.

Once we're on the same level
as the water,

open the gates,
and away we go.

It's simple.

If it's that simple,
why don't you do it?

You said earlier
you weren't the boating type.

Someone has to
steer the ship.

- Here.
- What's this?

It's the lock key
for the gates.

Jerry, you old rascal!
What's the latest?

- How are you feeling?
- Feeling tired.

A bit tipsy, more like.

Steering this thing isn't
as easy as it looks, you know?

It takes concentration.

Hey, you know what?
Ben needs to take over.

- Yeah, good luck with that.
- Yeah.

Mark's not feeling too good,

so could you, uh,
take over for a while?

I'm not surprised, all that
beer he's been drinking.

Oh, come on,
you can't expect him

to steer this thing
the whole weekend.

I don't know how to.

Well, maybe if you'd take your
face out your phone, you'd know.

Come on, babe.

Okay.

It can't be that bleeding
difficult if he can do it.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm here to relieve you
for a bit.

Okay.

You move it right
to go left...

Yeah, yeah.
I got it.

Aah!

Ah, who designed these
godforsaken things?

Hey!
Hey!

What the fuck
you playing at?

That's my barge,
you fucking prick!

Huh? Fucking dickhead.
What are you fucking playing at?

Really sorry, mate.
Rookie mistake.

Don't you fucking "mate" me.

You're gonna pay
for the damage or what?

Look at my fucking barge!

This is our fucking home,
you pricks!

You can't just hit our barge
and get away with it!

We're really sorry, love.

What the fuck?!
Sorry?!

Go back to your barge home,
you scatter monkey.

What the fuck
did you call me?!

This ain't over,
you posh prick!

No! No! No!

Aah!

Baby.

You all right, Ben?

Oh!

There she is.

Where are we?

I don't really know.

This place wasn't in the map
or in the guidebook.

I'm just following these.

Great.
We're lost, then.

Hello, Dad?
Dad?

Yeah,
we got really bad signal.

Yeah, the countryside
is beautiful.

I can see why Mum
loved it so much.

Yeah, Soph's here.

She says hi.

We're off to something
called the Jolly Farmer.

Dad? Dad?

Shit.

Chomper! Chomper!
Here, boy!

Here, boy!

Have you seen my dog?

Uh, no, mate.
Sorry.

I'd get in your barge

and go back the way you came
if I was you.

Why?

It isn't safe around
these parts at night.

- Not safe how?
- Chomper!

It's already too late
for you.

Hope you find your dog.

What was that all about?

I guess he just wants
to find his dog.

Come on.

Blade?
Hammerhead?

Is that you?

Aah!

There.

You folks lost?

Well?
Do you want a drink or no?

I'll have a pint of lager,
please, love.

And I will have a glass
of pinot grigio.

A large glass
of house white?

White wine, then?

We've no hot food
left for today.

- You've got to be kidding me.
- We're out of fresh meat.

All I can offer you is a
sandwich or a packet of crisps.

Liquid dinner it is, then.

Uh, babe, just grab me
a white wine.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Yeah, yeah. Get the same
for me, too, please.

I'll come with you.

Two white wines as well,
please, love.

I'm bloody starving.

Get a packet of crisps, then.

Crisps aren't gonna
fill me up.

All I wanted was a hot meal.
A steak or something.

Is that it?

Uh, two packets crisps
as well, please.

- Flavor?
- Scampi Fries?

Sure you don't want any?

What's the damage?

£14.56

Contactless?

Cash only.

- Cheers.
- Hmm.

Not bad, this place,
is it?

I've seen better.
A lot better.

- Do you want to get a table?
- Hang on.

- What can I get you?
- Three pints, please.

Who's the third one for?

I'm thirsty.

If one's for the young un
you've left in the garden,

then I need to see I.D.

Look, he's old enough.

I.D., or all I serve him
is pop.

I don't see
what your problem is.

Losing my license
is what my problem is

if I serve alcohol
to underage kids.

Who the fuck's gonna know?
We're in the middle of nowhere.

- I know.
- How much is a Coke?

£2.50

How much?

You don't like it,
go somewhere else.

Shit.

- It's them.
- Who?

The nutters whose barge
you hit earlier.

- Give me your phone.
- Why?

- So I can call the police.
- I'm not calling the police.

This place is disgusting.

Yeah, well, that's what
being in the countryside

is all about...
getting deep down and dirty.

Come on, then.

Kat!

Over here.

Ah.
Thank you.

What?

- It's them.
- Who?

The dickheads
who hit our barge.

There ain't gonna be
no trouble in here tonight.

What's this about you calling
my missus a monkey?

Technically, I called her
a scatter monkey.

Here!
What did I tell you?

Leave it alone!

This ain't
none of your business.

This is my business.

Look, we said
we were sorry.

- Sorry ain't gonna cut it.
- Look, you owe us money.

Well, you owe me a new phone,
which is worth more than

that crappy barge you call home,
so let's call it quits.

I don't like the way
you posh city pricks

come around here
thinking you're better than us.

This is crazy.
Why don't we just chill out?

Oh, look at
what we got here...

some fucking
Cornish bumpkin bitch

who thinks she can come in here
and tell us what to do.

Actually, I'm Bristolian.

Oh, Bristolian, Cornish.

All the same fucking
inbred cunts to me.

You should just fuck off
back to where you came from.

Hey, hey!

Don't you fucking dare,
all right?

I'll kill you!

Hey, hey, hey!

I'll fucking kill you!
All right?!

Okay!

Nobody is killing anybody.

Not in my pub.

I warned you lot
not to start any trouble.

Now get out of my pub!

You heard the old lady.
Go on, get the fuck out.

I wasn't talking to them.

Come on, you can't be siding
with these city pricks.

Coming in here, upsetting my
nice, peaceful atmosphere.

Now get out,

or I swear to God
your shit for brains

will be decorating
these walls.

Believe it.

Let's go.

I don't see why
we're being thrown out.

My pub, my rules.
Now get out.

I apologize
for the countryside welcome.

But we're not all that bad.
I promise.

I think we should leave.

No, we just...

J-Just chill.
Have a drink.

Local speciality.
Compliments of the house.

Please.
For your journey.

But go steady with it.

Smells like cheap whiskey.

Enjoy.

- Cheers.
- Yeah, thanks.

- I'm not drinking that.
- Oh, come on. Just have one.

To absent loved ones.

- Absent loved ones.
- Absent loved ones.

That was as bad
as it smelled.

- Oh, is this us?
- Let me see.

- We're back, guys.
- This is most definitely us.

You all right?

I don't know how I feel about
this now.

Oh!

Okay, you have to step...

Ah!

Coming aboard.

Where'd you go?
Oh!

Coming, coming.

Ugh.

I'm afraid we're out of the
weekend supply of booze already.

- Ohh.
- Oh.

I'll have to find
somewhere tomorrow.

In the meantime...

Oh, nope, nope.

No more of that stuff,
thank you.

I'm afraid the old lady's
home brew is all we have left.

I don't feel too good.

What's going on?

Calm down, ladies.
It's just the lights acting up.

Hey!
All right.

I am gonna go to bed.

Are you okay, hon?

I'll be fine.
I just need to sleep.

Okay.
I will be in in a bit.

Okay.
Night, all!

Good night!
Is he gonna be okay?

Yeah, he's all right.
He's just not much of a drinker.

- What do you see in him?
- I, on the other hand, am.

Did I ever tell you
about the time when...

What was that?

Calm down, ladies.
Just chill.

- What if it's them?
- It won't be.

Please don't go out there.
We don't want any more trouble.

You worry too much.

What's that for?

- Just in case.
- Just in case what?

Please don't tell me
you're gonna use it.

I won't.

I'll be right back.

Idiot.

Hello!

That wasn't funny.

Mark, come back inside now,
please.

You okay?

Mm-hmm.
Yeah.

I think
I should go to bed.

- I think I'll join you.
- Mm.

I don't feel so good.

Mark, I just want to go to bed!

Oh! Ho ho!

I like
a bird who's direct.

- What do you want?
- What's owed to us.

Sophie!
Sophie!

Wait here.

Give us a shout
if anyone comes.

Fine.

Oi.

Tie them up.

Posh boy
is in the bedroom.

Oi, you come back here!

Don't you dare turn your back!
Get in here!

Come on!
Get down there!

Go!

Fuck.

That's some strong shit.

Look, just take
what you want and leave.

Please don't take that.
I need it.

Why?
So you can call the filth?

No fucking chance!
It's mine now.

You got any dirty pictures
in there?

Hello.

Who's the MILF?

That's my mum.

Please, take anything,
but don't take it.

Her mum's gone!

You fucking scumbag!

Shame.

She's hot.

Runs in the family.

- Let's go.
- We're done when I say we are.

And I'm not done yet.

Max.

Fuck is going on?

Max!

Max!

Max, speak to me!
Speak!

Max.

Speak to me!

My head's pounding.
What's going on?

Jesus fucking Christ!

- Fucking untie me!
- Only if you help us!

- Yes!
- Promise!

I fucking promise!

Aah!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Sophie!

Please don't kill me!
I'll give you anything you want.

Here!
Take it.

It's a Rollie.

Uh, okay.
Uh, money, then.

Uh, I can transfer
£5,000 into your account.

Ben!

Your money
is of no use to me.

- What do you want?
- Your flesh!

Stop!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!
Ricky!

Ricky! Ricky!
Ricky!

Ricky! Ricky!
Ricky!

Ricky! Ricky!

Ben!

Ben!

Sophie! Sophie!
No! No, no, no!

No! No!
No, no, no!

I'm not leaving her!
I'm not leaving her.

Get out of here!

Fine!

Kat! Go!

I'll get them.
I promise.

You coming or what?!
We're not waiting around!

Go to the pub.
Phone the police and sit tight.

We'll be right behind you.

Go! Now!

Mark...

Aah! Aah!

No, Blade.

We need him alive.

Why are you going that way
when the pub is back there?

Fuck that!

I'm not going near
that old piss stain!

She's just as nuts
as those fuckers!

But we need to get help,
and he needs to go to hospital.

I fucking stayed
and helped your fella, didn't I?

We wouldn't even be in this mess
if it wasn't for you.

Fuck you!

How were we supposed to know

they'd come on the fucking barge
and try and eat us?

Well, if you hadn't tied us up,
maybe...

maybe we'd have been able
to do something!

They were gonna fucking
murder you anyway!

- We saved you!
- Saved me?!

My boyfriend is back there
fighting them!

My sister and her boyfriend
might be dead for all I know.

I lost
my little brother tonight!

He was the only family
I had left!

Look, I'm sorry
about your brother, okay? I am.

But, look, we have
got to work together

if we're gonna survive.

Okay, please?

You're on your own.

- She's got a gun.
- What?

The old bag at the pub.

She's got a gun.

Do you even fucking know
where you're going?

It's got to be
around here somewhere.

You don't have
a fucking clue!

Shh!

What the fuck was that?

They're hunting us.

Aaah!

Aah!
Please help me!

What are you waiting for?!

Aah!

We need to go!

This is your fault!

You wouldn't get the fuck
off of the barge!

- No!
- Leave me!

I'm not leaving you!
Come on!

Come on!

Aah!

Come on!
We got to keep moving.

Come on!

- I've got nothing left.
- Sure you do!

He was
the love of my life!

Without him or Max,
I'm alone!

I got nothing left!

I know it's hard, okay?

- Hard?!
- Yeah.

You were born with a fucking
silver spoon in your mouth!

You never lost anything
or anyone!

We all lose the things we care
about at some point!

You see this?

This was my mother's.

The day I lost her,
I never felt so alone,

so don't you fucking tell me
I've got it easy!

Now, we are both
in the same mess together.

And I don't know about you,

but I'm not fucking ready
to die yet!

Mark?!

- Where are you going?!
- We've got to help him!

We can call the pigs
when we get to the bar!

No, no!
It'll be too late by then!

Come on!

Oh, fuck!

Why are you doing this?

We're hungry.

No. Oh, no,
please, please, please!

You eat.

Keep him alive.

Why?

Get it over with.

We enjoy your suffering,

feasting on your flesh

while you
struggle for breath.

Fucking savages!

Aaah!

Mark.

Shit!
What are you doing?

What are you doing?

We've got to do something.

That's exactly what they want.

You go in there, you'll be
their fucking next meal.

- What do you suggest?
- I'll go in.

I'll get their attention,
and you grab him.

Wait, wait.
What?

Bet you had good parents
who brought you up right.

Yeah, well, my dad fucked off
before I could walk,

and my mum
was a junkie whore.

I did my best

raising and protecting Max
best I could.

He was everything to me.

He was the only good thing
I did

in my poor excuse
for a fucking life,

and those fuckers
have taken him from me.

I'm Kat.

Jade.

I wish I could say
that it was nice to meet you.

I wish
I never fucking did.

Do you want some?!

Come on, then, you cunts!

Aah!

Aaaah!

Where is she?

- Where is the other one?
- Fuck you!

I'm coming!

Go!

Come on, then,
you amphibian cocksucker!

Oh, fuck!

Go.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.
I've got you.

Okay. I've got you.
I've got you. I've got you.

- Fuck!
- Shh, shh.

Where's Sophie?
Where's Sophie?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh! I promi... I promised my mum
I'd look after her.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I froze!

I froze!

That bastard was right there,

and I froze.

He moved
right at the last minute, and...

I killed Ben.

I killed Ben.

You have to go without me.

I can't.
I can't.

The quicker you get going,

the quicker you get out.

I can't.

Your mom told me about you
when you was little.

About whenever you fell down
or hurt yourself...

...you wouldn't cry
or make a fuss.

You just got right back up.

As though she knew
you would be okay.

I'll be back for you.

I promise.

I know you will.

Now go.

I'm timing you.

No, no, no.
No, no.

Please stop.
Stop, stop!

- Stop!
- Jesus!

Please, just drive!

Drive, drive, drive.
Please drive!

- All right, love. Calm down.
- No, listen, please.

There is a creature out there.
It is trying to kill me.

And I think it's gonna
kill my boyfriend too.

Creature?
What are you talking about?

I need to get help.

Please, just take me to the
nearest town, please!

Please!

Drive, drive, drive!

You want to tell me what the
hell it was that was after you?

I don't know what they are.

All I know is my boyfriend
is still back there,

and they'll kill him
if I don't get help.

All right. I'll take you
to the nearest police station.

There's one about 30 miles away.

You'll be all right.

You hurt?

Just cuts and scratches.

Well, you're safe now, love.

Bet you're glad
you run into me, eh?

Be hard-pressed to find anyone
driving around these back roads,

even if it wasn't
the middle of the night.

Have you driven down
this way before?

Yeah, yeah.
All the time.

In fact, the company
make me do it at night.

It's... It's a bit
of a sensitive matter we do

with biochemical
waste management.

Yeah, basically dumping
all the bad shit

they don't want
at the factory.

Oh, don't worry,
it's all legal.

It's just that they get a hassle
from, uh,

all these bloody do-gooders.

Environmental protectionists
and all that sort of crap.

They worry
it's gonna do something

to the animals
around here.

Well, I just think
it's an urban myth.

I should think
we'd know by now

if it was gonna do
any harm, eh?

Oh!

- What was that?!
- Bloody hell.

Damn tire.
These bloody roads!

No, no. No, no.
Don't slow down.

Well, I got not choice.
I got to change the tire.

Well, it'll only
take a minute.

I've had to change more flat
tires than I care to admit.

Okay, but please, please,
please be quick.

It'll be all right.

Bloody hell.

He's there!
He's there!

He's there!
Behind you!

What the bloody hell's
the matter now?

Behind you!

I told you
I can't go anywhere

until I change this tire.

Turn around!

Look out!

Aah!

No.

Aah!

I told you to go back the way
you came, but you didn't listen.

What are you doing here?

I warned you
that they have eyes and ears

everywhere in these parts.

- Who?
- Them.

What are they?

Outcasts of society,

forced to live
upon these canals

some 35 years ago.

Predator family
of deformed evil freaks,

a product of incest,
lawlessness, and cannibalism,

scouring the canals
for their next meal.

Evil predators
is what they be,

and they won't stop
until we're all dead.

- Do you hear me?!
- Shh! Shh, shh.

Shh, shh.

We're just
their next meal.

You need to rest.

Take it easy.

What?
Where am I?

I found you outside.

How... How did I get here?

We need to get help.

I-I left Mark in the woods.
And the others.

And my sister.

Mark is fine.

Where is he?

He's upstairs,
getting some rest.

He's badly injured,
but he'll be fine.

I need to see him.

You'll see him soon, dear.
All in due course.

These monsters,
they came onto our barge

and they attacked us
and they...

They killed
my fucking sister.

There, there, dear.

You're safe in here.

You don't understand.

If one of them gets in here,

they'll fucking
tear us apart.

Now, you sit down, and I'll
get you something to eat.

I'm not hungry.

Don't be silly, dear.

You need to build
your strength up.

- Seriously, I can't...
- You need to eat.

Get some meat
on your bones.

I-I thought you said

you were out of fresh meat.

I just got a new batch in.

Your sister.

Tastes so good.

What the hell
are you people?!

It's just the usual
Friday-night fun.

Where's the others?

I'm gonna make you pay

for what you and your friends
did to my family.

These monsters
butchered my family!

My family are not monsters.

We feed our hunger
just like everyone else.

You may not have fur
or feathers,

but you are still part
of the food chain.

I tell my boys never to play
with their food,

but I'll make
an exception for you.

Take her to the kitchen.

We'll have her
for breakfast.

Mark.

I love you.

You feel this need

to put your faith
into something,

a higher power
that you believe to exist.

You need to believe that life
is eternal and has meaning.

In a very short moment,

your final thoughts will be
to realize that it doesn't.

My family have been feeding
on the flesh for years.

You're not the first...

...and you most certainly
won't be the last.

It's nothing personal.

No one escapes.

No! No!

No, no, no!
No! No! No, no!