The Aristocats (1970) - full transcript

Which pets' address
is the finest in Paris

Which pets possess
the longest pedigree

Which pets get to sleep
on velvet mats

Naturellement
The Aristocats

Which pets are blessed with
the fairest forms and faces

Which pets know best
all the gentle social graces

Which pets live
on cream and loving pats

Naturellement
The Aristocats

They show
aristocatic bearing

When they're seen
upon an airing

And aristocatic flair in what
they do and what they say



Aristocats are never found in
alley ways or hanging around

The garbage cans
where common kitties play

Oh, no

Which pets are known
to never show their claws

Which pets are prone
to hardly any flaws

To which pets do the others
tip their hats

Naturellement
The Aristocats

Ho, ho, ho!

Aristocats
[ Singing ln French ]

Marie, my little one,

you're going to be as beautiful
as your mother. Isn't she, Duchess ?

you're going to be as beautiful
as your mother. Isn't she, Duchess ?

[ Meowing ]

[Madame]
Careful, Toulouse![Laughing]



You're making it very difficult
for Edgar. [Laughing]

Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa.
Steady, girl.

- Thank you, Edgar. Oh.
- [Frou-FrouNeighs]

Of course, Frou-Frou,
I almost forgot.

Madame, uh-- May I take
your parcel, Madame ?

It really is much
too heavy for you, Madame.

Now, tut-tut, Edgar.
Don't fuss over me.

[ Meowing ]

Berlioz, come back here. Haven'tyou
forgotten something, darling ?

Thank you, Miss Frou-Frou,
for letting me ride on your back.

[ Chuckles ]
You're quite welcome, young man.

How was that, Mama ?

Very good, darling.
That was very nice.

Come along, Duchess.
Kittens, come along !

Oh, and, Edgar, I'm expecting
my attorney, Georges Hautecourt.

You remember him,
ofcourse.

Of course, Madame.
How could anyone forget him ?

[ Car Engine Sputtering,
Backfiring ]

- [ Switch Clicks, Engine Backfiires ]
- Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
[ Humming ]

Oh.
[ Humming ]

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
Ta-ra-ra-boom-de--

Oops !
[ Chuckles ]

Not as spry as I was
when I was 80, eh ?

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
[Humming]

- [ Humming ]
- Ah, good day, sir.

Madame is
expecting you, sir.

Evening. Evening, Edgar.

Ta-ra-ra-
boom-de-ay

- Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
- Oh, another ringer, sir.
You never miss.

[ Laughing ]

Come on, Edgar. Last one
up the stairs is a nincompoop.

Could we take the elevator
this time, sir ?

[ Laughing ]
That bird cage ? Poppycock !

Elevators are
for old people. Oops !

Oh, uh-- May I
give you a hand, sir ?

You haven't got an extra foot,
have you, Edgar ? [ Laughing ]

That always makes me
laugh, sir. Yes.

[ Forced Chuckle ]
Every time.

- Whoa ! Oh !
- Let go ofmy cane !

Careful, sir. Oh, please !
I'm frightfully sorry, sir !

[ Chuckling ]

Don't panic, Edgar.

Upward and onward ! Whee !

- Oof!
- Am I going too fast for you, Edgar ?

Oh, please, sir,
hold on !

[ Record Playing ]

There now, Duchess.
That's better.

We must both look
our best for Georges.

He's our oldest and
dearest friend, you know.

- [ Meowing ]
- [Knock On Door]

Come in.

[ Panting ]
Announcing... Monsieur...

[ Panting ]
Georges... Hautecourt !

[Madame] Oh, my goodness, Edgar.
I know it's Georges.

Adelaide, my, my dear.

- [Huffing]
- So good to see you, Georges.

Ah, still the softest hands
in all of Paris, eh ?

You're a shameless
flatterer, Georges.

[ "Habahera" From Carmen ]

Adelaide, that,
that music.

It's from Carmen,
isn't it ?

That's right.
It was my favorite role.

Yes, yes !

It was the night of your grand premiere
that we first met, remember ?

- Oh, indeed I do.
- And how we celebrated your success !

Champagne,
dancing the night away.

[ Humming Tune
From Carmen]

[ Madame Laughs ]
Oh, Georges !

[ Continues ]

[ Yelps, Needle Scratching,
Music Slows ]

[ Laughing ]
Oh, thank goodness.

- [ Scratching ]
-Just in time !

Ah, Georges.

We're just a pair
of sentimental old fools.

[ Humming ]

[ Laughing ]
Now, Georges, do be serious.

- [ Humming ]
- I've asked you to come here...

ona very important
legal matter.

Wha-- ! Oh !
Splendid ! Splendid !

Who do you want me to sue, eh ?
[ Laughing ]

Oh, come now, Georges.
I don't wish you to sue anyone.

I simply want
to make my will.

Will, eh ?
Will. Well.

[ Squeaking ]

Now, then, who are
the beneficiaries ?

[Madame] Well, as you know,
I have no living relatives,

and naturally, I want
my beloved cats...

to be always
well cared for.

And certainly no one can do this better
than my faithful servant, Edgar.

[ Georges ]
Edgar ? Adelaide, you mean to say...

you're leaving
your vast fortune to Edgar ?

Everything
you possess ?

Stocks and bonds ? This--
This mansion ? Your country chateau ?

Art treasures,
jewels and--

[ Madame ]
No, no, no, Georges. To my cats.

- [ Georges ] To your cats ?
- [ Gasping ] Cats !

[Madame] Yes, Georges. I simply
wish to have the cats inherit first.

Then, at the end
of their life span,

my entire estate
will revert to Edgar.

Cats inherit first !
And I come after the cats.

I, me, after-- No.

It's not fair ! Ooh !

I mean, oh, each cat will live
about 1 2 years. I can't wait.

And each cat has nine lives.
That's four times twelve.

Multiplied by nine times.
No, it's less than that.

Anyway, it's much longer
than I'd ever live.

I'll be gone.

No. Oh, no.

They'll be gone.
I'll think of a way.

Why, there are a million
reasons why I should !

All of them dollars.

Millions.

- Those cats have got to go !
- [ Tearing ]

- Wait for me ! Wait for me !
- Me first ! Me first !

- Why should you be first ?
- Because I'm a lady, that's why.

Huh, you're not a lady.

Huh, you're not a lady.

You're nothing
but a sister !

Oh !

I'll show you
if I'm a lady or not.

[ Giggling ]

- Stop tickling !
- Get her, Berlioz ! Get her !

- Fight fair, Marie !
- Females never fiight fair.

Ow ! Now that hurt !
Mama ! Mama !

Marie, darling. Marie,
you must stop that.

This is really
not lady like.

And, Berlioz,
well, such behaviour...

is most unbecoming
to a lovely gentleman.

Well,
she started it.

Ladies do not start fights,
but they can finish them.

[Duchess]
Berlioz, now don't be rude.

We were just practicing
biting and clawing.

Aristocrats do not practice
biting and clawing...

and things like that--
it's just horrible !

But someday, we might meet
a tough alley cat.

[ Snarling,
Hissing ]

[Duchess Laughs]

Now that will do.
It's time we concerned ourselves
with self-improvement.

Now, you want to grow up to be lovely,
charming ladies and gentlemen.

Now, Toulouse, you go
and start on with your painting.

Yes, mama.
[ Hissing ]

[Marie]
Mama, may we watch Toulouse paint...

before we start
our music lesson ?

- Please ?
- [Duchess] Well--

- Yes, my love,
but you must be very quiet.
- Oops ! Uh-oh.

[ Clears Throat,
Muttering ]

Aha.

[ Sniffling ]

[ Sloshing ]

- [ Splat ]
- Yeah !

- [Marie Giggles] It's Edgar!
- [Berlioz]
Yeah. Old picklepuss Edgar!

[Duchess Laughs]

"Old picklepuss" ?
Now, now, Berlioz.

That is not kind. You know Edgar
is so fond of all of us...

and takes
very good care of us.

Rock-a-bye, kitties
Bye-bye you go

La la la la
and I'm in the dough

Oh, Edgar,
you sly old fox !

[ Humming
" Rock-A-Bye-Baby" ]

Oops ! Oh, dear !

A slip ofthe hand
and it's offto dreamland.

I say, that's not at all bad.
"Slip of the hand, dreamland."

Now, let's leave
Toulouse to his painting.

Now, dear, you go
to the piano and--

Run a long.
Both of you, go ahead.

- Yes, Mama.
- Yes, Mama.

[Duchess] It's time to practice
your scales and your arpeggios.

Ow !

[ Hitting Keys ]

[ Cracking Knuckles ]

I'm ready, maestro.

Oh ! Mama !
He did it again !

- [ Plink]
- [ Whispering ] Tattletale !

Now, Berlioz.
Now, please, darling, settle down,

and play me
your pretty little song.

Yes, Mama.

Doe me so
doe doe so me doe

Every truly cultured
music student knows

You must learn your scales
and your arpeggios

[ Catching A Breath ]
And the music ringing

From your chest
and not your nose

While you sing your scales
and your arpeggios

If you're faithful to

Your daily practicing

You will find your progress
is encouraging

Doe me so me doe me so me
fa la so it goes

When you do your scales
and your arpeggios

- Doe me so doe--
-[Berlioz Plays Out Of Rhythm]

[ Discordant Notes ]

[Duchess, Marie Singing]
Doe me so doe, doe so me doe

Doe me so doe
doe so me doe

Though at fiirst it seems
as though it doesn't show

Like a tree, ability
will root and grow

[ ToulouseJoins ln ]
lf you're smart
you'll learn by heart

What every artist knows

[Duchess, Marie]
You must sing your scales

[ Together]
And your arpe-e-e-gios

[ Duelling Flourishes ]

- [ Thump ]
- [ Discordant Notes ]

[Hinge Squeaking]

Ah, good evening,
my little ones.

[ Humming
" Rock-A-Bye-Baby" ]

[ Meowing ]

Your favorite dish
prepared a very special way.

It's creme de la creme
ala Edgar.

Sleep well. I-l mean, eat--
Eat well, of course.

[ Slurp ]

[ Sniffing ]

Ahem !
Good evening, Duchess.

Hello, kittens.

- Hello, Roquefort.
- Hi, Roquefort.

Good evening,
Monsieur Roquefort.

[ Sniffiing ]
Mm ! Something smells awfully good.

[ Chuckling, Sniffing ]
What is that appetizing smell ?

It's creme de la creme
a la Edgar.

Won't you join us,
Monsieur Roquefort ?

Well, yes. I-l mean-- Well,
I don't mean to interrupt.

But-- [ Chuckles ]
But it so happens...

that... I have
a cracker with me.

- Come on, " Rodeford." Have some.
- Oh, thank you.

Don't mind
if I do.

Just a few dunks.

Mm. Ooh.
Very good.

My compliments
to the chef.

Mm ! This is yummy !

Mm.
[ Smacking Lips ]

Delicious !

Double delicious !
[ Chuckling ]

This calls for another cracker.
I'll be right back.

[ Yawns ]

So, that's...

Creme... de la creme...

ala Edgar.

[ Squeaking ]

[ Clattering ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Engine Starting,
Backfiiring ]

[ Engine Sputtering,
Backfiring ]

[ Backfiring Continues ]

Whew !
[ Shrieking ]

[Metro Train
Whistle Blowing]

[ Backfiiring Continues ]

[Engine Sputtering,
Backfiring]

[ Engine Backfiring ]

[ Grunting ]

Lafayette.
Hey, Lafayette.

- [ Grunting ]
- Lafayette !

- Well, I'm right here !
- Listen. Wheels approaching.

Oh, Napoleon, we done bit
six tires today.

Chased four motorcars
and a bicycle and a scooter.

Hush your mouth !

It's a motorcycle.
Two-cylinder, chain drive.

One squeakywheel
on the front, it sounds like.

Now, you go for the tires, and I'll go
right for the seat of the problem.

How come you always grab
the tender part for yourself?

'Cause I outrank you,
that's why.

[Napoleon] Now stop beatin'
your gums and sound the attack !

[ Barking ]

- No, that's mess call !
- Made a mess of it, huh ?

You can be replaced,
you know.

Okay, let's charge.
[ Grunting ]

Wait a minute.
I'm the leader !

I'm the one that says
when we go.

Here we go. Charge !

[Barking]

[ Backfiiring ]

[ Barking ]

[ Screaming ]

Nice doggy ! Nice doggy !
Heel, roll over, play dead !

[ Screaming ]

Yeow ! Ooh ! Ahh !

- [ Engine Roaring ]
- [ Laughing ]
This sure beats runnin', Napoleon.

[ Tire Screeching ]

- Step on the gas, Napoleon !
- I got herwide open !

Ow !

Ha-ha !

[ Engine Roaring,
Fades ln Distance ]

[Thunderclap]

[Thunderclap]

Oh ! Oh, where am I ?

I'm not at home at all.

Children, where are you ?
Answer me.

Berlioz ? Toulouse,
Marie, where are you ?

Here I am, Mama.

Marie, darling.
Are you all right ?

I-l guess I had a nightmare
and fell out of bed.

Now, Marie, darling,
don't be frightened.

Mama!
Mama!

That's Berlioz !

Over here, darling.
Berlioz, here we are.

And don't worry.
Everything is going to be all right.

I'm coming, Mama.

- Gee, I'm cold and I'm w-wet.
- [Frog Croaking]

- [Berlioz] Mama ?
- [ Croaks ]

- Mama ?
- [ Loud Croak]

Mama !

[ Laughing ]
Oh, darling.

That's only
a little frog, my love.

But he had a mouth
like a "hippolotamus."

[Croaking]

[ Giggling ]

Oh, what's so funny ?

Now, now, darlings. Darlings,
nowyoujust stay here,

and I'll go and I'll
look for Toulouse.

Toulouse ?
Toulouse, where are you ?

- Toulouse !
- Toulouse !

- [Marie] Toulouse!
- Hey.

What's all the yellin'
about, huh ?

Why didn't you answer ?

Mama ! He's been here
all the time.

Oh, thank goodness.
Oh, areyou all right ?

I was having
a funny dream.

Edgarwas in it.

- Andwe wereallriding
andbouncingalong--
- [Frogs Croaking]

Frogs ? Uh-oh.
It wasn't a dream.

Edgar did this
to us.

Edgar ? Tsk ! Oh !

Darling, why, that--
Why, that's ridiculous.

Yeah. Maybe you fell
on your head, Toulouse.

[Thunderclap]

Mama, I'm afraid !
I wanna go home !

- Now, now, my darling.
Now don't be frightened.
- [ThunderCrashing]

Oh, dear. Oh, dear!
Let's get into the basket, all of us !

What's gonna happen to us ?

Well, darlings, l--
I just don't know.

It does look hopeless,
doesn't it ?

[ Berlioz ] I wish we were home
with Madame right now.

Oh. Poor Madame.

She will be so worried
when she finds us gone.

[Thunderclap]

Duchess ? Kittens ?
Oh, my gracious !

I had the most horrible
dream about them.

Thank goodness
it was only a dream.

Oh, dear,
what a terrible night.

Now, now, my darlings.
Don't be frightened.

The storm
will soon pass.

- [Thunderclap]
- Oh !

Oh, no !
They're gone !

Duchess ? Kittens !

Duchess !
Where are you ?

[Madame]
They're gone. They're gone!

Duchess, kittens, gone ?

Why, that's terrible !

But where ? Why ?

Good heavens ! Anything could happen
to them on a night like this !

Get-- Get washed down
a storm drain.

Struck by lightning.

Oh, they'll need help.

I've just got
to find them.

Duchess ! Kittens !

[Thunderclap]

Duchess !

Kittens !

Kittens !

[Birds Chirping,
Rooster Crowing ln Distance]

I like a chee-chee-chee-chee-rony
Like they make at home

Or a healthy fish
with a big back bone

I'm Abraham de Lacy

Giuseppe Casey

Thomas O'Malley

O'Malley
the alley cat

I've got
that wander lust

Gotta walk the scene

Gotta kick up
highway dust

Feel the grass
that's green

Gotta strut
them city streets

Showin' off my eclat
Yeah

Tellin'my friends
of the social elite

Or some cute cat
I happen to meet

That I'm

Abraham de Lacy
Giuseppe Casey

Thomas O'Malley

O'Malley the alley cat

[ Laughing ]
Why, monsieur,

your name seems to cover
all of Europe.

Well, of course.
I'm the only cat of my kind.

I'm king
of the highway

Prince of
the boulevard

Duke of
the avant-garde

The world
is my backyard

So if you're
goin' my way

That's the road
you wanna seek

Calcutta to Rome
or home, sweet home

In Paris
magnifique,you all

Oh, boy !
An alley cat.

Shh ! Listen.

I only got myself
and this big old world

But I sip
that cup of life

With my fingers curled

I don't worry
what road to take

I don't have to
think of that

Whatever I take
is the road I make

It's the road of life
make no mistake

For me

Yeah
Abraham de Lacy

Giuseppe Casey
Thomas O'Malley

O'Malley
the alley cat

That's right
And I'm very proud of that

Yeah !

[ Laughing ]

Bravo ! Very good.

You are a great talent.

Oh, thank you. And what
might your name be ?

My name is Duchess.

Duchess. Beautiful.

Love it.

And those eyes.
Ooh.

Why, your eyes are like sapphires,
sparkling so bright.

They make the morning
radiant... and light.

- How romantic !
- Sissy stuff !

Oh, c'est tres jolie,
monsieur. Very poetic.

But it is not
quite Shakespeare.

Of course not.
That's pure O'Malley, baby.

Right off the cuff, yeah.
I got a million of 'em.

Oh, no more, please.
I am really in a great deal of trouble.

Trouble ? Helping
beautiful dame--

uh, damsels in distress
is my specialty.

Now what's the hang-up,
your ladyship ?

Well, it is most important
that I get back to Paris.

So if you would be just so kind
and show me the way.

Show you the way ?
Perish the thought.

We shall fly to Paris
on a magic carpet,

side by side,

with the stars
as our guide.

Just we two.

- Ooh, that would be wonderful !
- Three ?

[ O'Malley]
Four.

- Five !
- Oh, yes, Monsieur O'Malley.

- These are my children.
- Oh, how sweet.

Do you really have
a magic carpet ?

And are we really
gonna ride on it ?

Now, now, Marie !

Mama, do I have sparkling
sapphire eyes that dazzle too ?

Hoo-ooh !
Did I say that ?

[Duchess]
Yes. Right off your cuff.

And you said we're gonna
ride on your magic carpet.

Well, now, uh--
What I meant-- You see, l--

No poetry to cover the situation,
Monsieur O'Malley ?

What I had in mind was
a kind ofa sports model, baby.

- You know, one ofthose--
- Perhaps a magic carpet built for two ?

I wouldn't
take up much room.

[ Sighing ] I understand perfectly,
Monsieur O'Malley.

Well, come along, darlings.

[ Sighing ]

I'm a tough alley cat too.
[ Hissing ]

Hey there !
You're comin' on.

I'll bet you're a real tiger
in your neighborhood.

Yeah. That's 'cause
I practice all the time.

Now, now, Toulouse.
Come along, dear.

Yes, Mama.

[O'Malley]
See ya around, tiger!

[ Hissing ]

[ Chuckles ]
Now that's quite a family.

And come to think of it, O'Malley,
you're not a cat, you're a rat.

Right ? Right.

[O'Malley]
Hey! Hey, hold up there.

Yes, Monsieur O'Malley ?

Now look, kids.
If I said "magic carpet,"

magic carpet
it's gonna be.

And it's gonna stop
for passengers...

right...

here.

Oh, boy ! We're gonna
fly after all !

Another flight into
the fantasy, Monsieur O'Malley ?

No, no, no, baby.

Now, you just hide over there and you
leave the rest to J. Thomas O'Malley.

- Quick, Mom, get in here.
- But, children--

Hurry up, Mama !
Hurry !

[Vehicle Approaching]

One magic carpet,
coming up.

That's a magic carpet ?

- [ Screeching ]
-Sacrebleu!

[ Screeching ]

Sapristi!
Stupid cat !

Brainless lunatic !

[Engine Starts]

All right, step lively !
All aboard for Paris !

Why, Mr. O'Malley,
you could have lost your life.

So I got a few to spare.
Nothin'.

How can we ever
thank you ?

My pleasure entirely.

- [Truck Shifts lnto Gear]
- Aloha.

Aufwiedersehen.
Bonsoir!

"Saranora," and all
those goodbye things, baby.

Sayonara, Mr.--
[ Gasping ]

- Mama !
- Marie !

Marie !

- Oh, Marie, are you all right ?
- Yes, Mama.

Haven't we met before ?

Oh, and I'm
so very glad we did.

Thank you, Mr. O'Malley,
for saving my life.

No trouble at all,
little princess.

And when we get to Paris,
I'll show you the time of your life.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but,
well, we just couldn't.

You see, my mistress will be
so worried about us.

Well, humans don't really worry
too much about their pets.

Oh, no ! You just
don't understand.

She loves us very much.

Poor Madame,
in that big mansion,

all alone.

In all our days,
in tender ways,

her love forus
was shown.

And so, you see,
we can't leave her alone.

She'd always say that we're
the greatest treasure she could own.

Because with us
she never felt alone.

Oh, Roquefort, I've been
so worried about you.

Did you have
any luck at all ?

Not a sign of them, Frou-Frou,
and I've searched all night.

I know. And poor Madame
didn't sleep a wink either.

Oh, it's a sad day
for all of us.

[Humming]

Morning, Frou-Frou,
my pretty steed.

Can you keep a secret ? Hmm ?
Of course you can. [ Laughing ]

I've some news straight
from the horse's mouth,

ifyou'llpardon
the expression, ofcourse.

Look, Frou-Frou.
I've made the headlines.

" Mysterious Catnapper
Abducts Family ofCats."

[Laughing]
Aren't you proud of me ?

So... he's the catnapper !

The police say it was
a professional, masterful job.

The work of a genius. Not bad,
eh, Frou-Frou old girl ?

[ Whinnying ]

Oh, they won't find a clue
to implicate me. Not one single clue.

Why, I'll, I'll eat
my hat if they--

My hat ! My umbrella !

Oh ! Oh, gracious !

I've got to get
those things back tonight.

[ Sputtering,
Spitting ]

Why that [ Spits ]
sneaky, crooked [ Spits ],

no good [ Spits ] butler !

Anyone for breakfast ?

- What breakfast ?
- Where is it ?

Right under
that magic carpet.

But now we have to
cook up a little spell.

You know.
You ready ?

All right. First,
to make the magic begin,

you wiggle
your nose...

and tickle
your chin.

Now you close
your eyes...

and cross
your heart.

Then, presto !
Breakfast, a la carte.

- Hooray !
- We did it !

[Berlioz]
Look, Mama, look!

Why, Mr. O'Malley,
you are amazing !

True.
True.

Sapristi!

- [ Screeching ]
- Sacrebleu!

Thieves !
Robbers !

Mangy tramps !
Take that !

Andthat!

Oh ! Oh, what a horrible,
horrible human !

Well, some humans
are like that, Duchess.

[O'Malley]
I've learned to live with 'em.

I'll show him.
[ Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]

[O'Malley]
Hey, coolit, you little tiger.

- That guy's dynamite.
- But he called us tramps !

Oh, I'll be so glad
when we get back home.

That's a long way off,
so we better get moving.

Gee whiz !
Look at that bridge !

- Come on. Let's play train.
- Nowbe careful, children.

Marie's the caboose.
All aboard !

Choo-choo-choo,
choo-choo.

Choo-choo-choo,
choo-choo. Whoo-whoo !

Choo-choo-choo-choo,
choo-choo-choo-choo. Whoo-whoo !

Clickety-clickety-clickety.
Clickety.

- Whoo-whoo !
- [Train Whistle Blowing]

- Oh, no !
-[O'Malley] All right.
Now don't panic.

[ O'Malley]
Down underneath here.

Mama !

Marie ! Oh, Marie !

Keep your head up, Marie !
Here I come !

Thomas !
Thomas, up here !

Gee, Marie, why'd you
have to fall off the bridge ?

Thomas ? Oh, Thomas !
Take care !

I'm all right, honey.
Don't worry.

I'll see ya down stream.

What beautiful countryside,
Abigail.

So much like
our own dear England.

Oh, indeed, yes.

Amelia, if I walk
much farther...

I'll get flat feet.

Abigail, we were born
with flat feet.

[ Laughing ]

I say.
Look over there.

[Amelia]
Oh. Oh, how unusual.

[Abigail] Fancy that,
a cat learning how to swim.

And he's going about it
all the wrong way.

Quite. We must
correct him.

Sir. Sir ?

You are most fortunate
we happened along.

Yes. We're here
to help you.

No, no. Back off, girls.
I'm doin' fine !

First, you must gain
self-confidence...

by striking out
on your own.

Go away ! I'm tryin'
to get to shore.

You will never learn to swim properly
with that willow branch in your mouth.

Indeed not!

Snip, snip. Here we go.

Don't do that !

You're doing splendidly.

And don't worry about form.
It will come later.

- [ Gasping ]
- He takes to water
likea fish, doesn'the ?

A very enthusiastic--

[ Shrieking ]

No ! Now, this is
no time for fun and games.

[Laughing]

[ Laughing Fades ]

Gracious me.

- You don't suppose--
- Oh, yes. Yes, I do.

Bottoms up !

[ Together]
Deeper !

Look, Ma.
There he is.

You really did quite well
for a beginner.

Oh, Thomas !
Thank goodness you're safe !

- Keep practicing.
- And toodly-pip !

Can I help you,
Mr. O'Malley, huh ?

[ Gasping ] Help ?
I've had all the help I can take.

Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so much
for helping Mr. O'Malley.

Of course, my dear.
But first, introductions.

Yes. We British like
to keep things proper.

[Abigail, Amelia
Laugh]

Now, I am Amelia Gabble,
and this is my sister--

- Miss Abigail Gabble.
- We're twin sisters.

- You might say we're related.
- [ Both Laughing ]

- Oh, how silly !
- Oh, how nice.

I never would have guessed.

- Look ! They got rubber feet.
- Yeah.

- [ Both Laugh ]
- We're on holiday.

For a walking tour
of France.

- Swimming, some of the way.
- On water, of course.

Thomas, this is Amelia
and Abigail Gabble.

Yeah, honey. Get those two
web-footed life guards outta here !

Now, now, Thomas.

Okay. Okay, baby.
Hiya, chicks.

- Oh !
- [ Both Laugh ]

We're not chickens.
We're geese.

No. I thought
you were swans.

Flatterer.

Your husband is very charming
and very handsome.

Well, uh, you see...

I-l'm not exactly
her husband.

" Exactly" ? You either
are or you're not.

All right... I'm not.

[ Together]
Oh ? Hmm ?

- It's scandalous.
- He's nothing but a cad.

Absolutely.
Possibly a reprobate.

- A roue.
- His eyes are too close together.

- Shifty too.
- And look at his crooked smile.

His chin is
very weak too.

Obviously a philanderer who trifles
with unsuspecting women's hearts.

How romantic !

Please. Please,
let me explain.

Thomas is
a dear friend of ours.

- He's just helping us to get to--
- Come on, Duchess.

Let's get
out of here.

Well, girls, see ya around.
We're on our way to Paris.

Oh, how nice !
We're going to Paris ourselves.

Why don'tyou
join us ?

I think that's
a splendid idea.

Oh, no.

Now, ah, you
stand here, dear.

And, uh, let's see.
You take this position.

- Duchess, you'll do nicely here.
- Yes, verygood.

And you, dear,
you take this place.

Now that leaves
Mr. O'Malley.

Oh. We can't
leave him, can we ?

Mr. O'Malley, I think you
should be the rear end.

Ready, everyone ?
Now think "goose."

Forward, march !

Mama, do we have to
waddle like they do ?

Yes, dear.
Think "goose."

When we get to Paris,
you must meet Uncle Waldo.

"Waldo" ?

Yes, he's our uncle. We are to meet
Uncle Waldo at Le Petit Cafe.

Yes, he's our uncle. We are to meet
Uncle Waldo at Le Petit Cafe.

[ Duchess ]
Le Petit Cafe ?

Oh, that's that
famous restaurant.

Ah, c'est magnifique!

- [Squawking]
- [Man] Sacrebleu!

Ow! Oh !
He bit my finger!

Get out! Go!
Go! Get out! Scram !

[Chef]
Good riddance!

[ Mumbling ]

[ Sighing, Hiccupping ]

Why-- Why it's
Uncle Waldo !

- Uncle Waldo !
- [ Screaming ]

Abigail ! Amelia !
[ Laughing ]

My two favorite nooses!

Uncle Waldo. I do believe
you've been drinking.

Oh, dear ! What happened
to your lovely tail feathers ?

Girls, it's outrageous !

Why, you won't believe
what they tried to do...

to your poor old Uncle Waldo !
[ Hiccupping ]

Look. Look at this !

[Waldo]
"Prime Country Goose a la Provencal. "

"Stuffed with chestnuts"?

"And basted in...
[ Sniffles ]

white wine."
[ Hiccups ]

" Basted" ? He's been
marinated in it.

Dreadful !

Being British, I would
have preferred sherry.

[ Laughing ]

- Sherry ! Sherry.
- [ Laughing ]

Oh ! Oh, oh--

Oh, Uncle Waldo,
you're just too much.

- You mean he's had too much.
- [ Laughing ]

- [ Whispering ] Abigail ! Abigail !
- Yes, yes.

We best get
Uncle Waldo to bed.

Why,
I say there, now.

What's all the whis--
whispering about, huh ?

- [ Together] Shh, shh !
- [ Laughter]

Now, now, now, now.
Girls. Girls !

Don't shush your
old Uncle Waldo !

Why, you'll, you'll wake up
the whole neighborhood!

- Shh ! No !
- Whoopee ! Neighborhood !

[ Laughing ]
Come to sleep, Uncle Waldo !

Oh, yes, I think
we'd better be going.

Oh, righto, girls.

Birds of a feather
must [ Hic ] together.

[ Laughing ]
That's stick together.

[ Laughing ]

- [ Waldo Singing ]
- Shush, shush, shush !

- [ Waldo Continues Singing ]
- [ Abigail, Amelia Laughing ]

You know something ?
I like Uncle Waldo.

Especially when
he's marinated !

Frou-Frou,
here comes Edgar !

Hurry, Roquefort.
Hop aboard the motorcycle.

And for goodness sakes,
do be careful !

- [ Shoes Squeaking ]
- Frou-Frou.

Tonight "Operation Catnapper"
will be completed.

Wish me luck.
Fisherman's luck.

[EngineStarting]

Bye, Frou-Frou !
Whoop !

[ Tires Screeching ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Coughing ]

[ Shoes Squeaking ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Squeaking ]

- [Squeaking]
- Lafayette ?

Lafayette!
Listen.

[Squeaking]

Oh, shucks, Napoleon. That ain't
nothing but a little old cricket bug.

It's squeaky shoes
approachin'.

Oh, cricket bugs
don't wear shoes.

Hush your mouth.
Let's see.

They're Oxford shoes.

Size nine-and-a-half.

Hole in the left sole,
it sounds like.

What color are they ?

They're black--
How would I know that ?

Hey, now the squeakin'
has stopped.

I still say it was
a little old cricket bug.

I'm the leader.
I'll decide what it was.

It was a little old
cricket bug.

I'll seeya in the morning,
Napoleon. [ Sighing ]

That's my hat.
I'm the leader.

Well, shootfire.
Don't get sore at me!

I ain't done nothin'.

[ Mumbling ]

Ooh, whoo, heh.
Mm. Oh.

Mm, ooh, oh, heh.
Ooh !

[ Chuckling ]

[ Giggling, Groaning ]

Mm-mm. That feels good,
Lafayette.

That's all right.

Mm-mm. Ooh. Ooh !

A little lower
and faster there.

I'm scratchin'
as fast as I can.

Right there.
That's good. Oh, ooh, ooh !

Ooh.

Mmm. It's warm
and, mm-mm, cozy.

[ Horn Squeaking ]

[ Blowing ]

Wha-Wha--
What's goin' on ?

[Napoleon] Lafayette,
what in tarnation you trying to do ?

Oh, I get blamed
for everything.

Wait a minute !
Where's my hat ? Where--

And somebody stole
my bumber shoot.

Well, where's
my beddie-bye basket ?

And whoever it is
is gonna get it and get it good.

[Lafayette Chuckles]
This time, I get the tender part.

[Napoleon]
Hush your mouth. Now, come on.

[ Squeaking ]

Hey, Napoleon !
Ooh, it's them shoes again.

Yeah, yeah, I hear 'em.

Napoleon, I'm plumb
goose-pimply scared !

Now this is no time
to turn chicken.

[ Grunting ]

I got a feelin' this case
is gonna bust wide open.

[ Screaming ]

D-D-D-Did you see him ?

No, no. He sneaked up
behind me and tailgated me.

Well, he didn't hurt me.
He hit me on the head.

- [ Laughing ]
- Shh!

- Listen !
- [Metal Squeaking]

Sounds like
a one-wheel-- Ooh.

- A one-wheel what ?
- You're not gonna believe this,

but it's
a one-wheeled haystack.

Hey, there it goes !
Come on! After it!

[ Barking ]

[ Edgar Shouting,
Dogs Snarling ]

- [Lafayette]
I got him, I got him, I got him !
- Ow, that's me !

[Napoleon]
Gethim, get him, get him, get him !

[Dogs Shouting]

Well, c'est la guerre,
Napoleon.

I guess you
can't win 'em all.

Ow ! Ooh, ooh, ooh !
Criminiddly !

Thomas, Madame
will be so worried.

Are you sure we can't
get home tonight ?

Mama, I'm tired.

Me too, and my feet hurt.

Look, baby, it's late,
and the kids are bushed.

I'll bet we walked
a hundred miles.

I'll bet it's more
than a thousand.

Now, now, darlings. Cheer up.
Mr. O'Malley knows a place
where we can stay tonight.

How much farther is it,
Mr. O'Malley ?

[ Chuckles ]
Keep your whiskers up, tiger.

It's just beyond
that next chimney pot.

Well, there it is.

My own penthouse pad.

It's not exactly the Ritz,
but it's peaceful and quiet.

[Jazz Trumpet]

Oh ! Oh, no.

Sounds like Scat Cat and
his gang have dropped by.

Oh. Friends of yours ?

Uh-huh, yeah. They're old buddies
and they're real swingers.

"Swingers."
What is a "swinger" ?

You know. Uh, not exactly
your type, Duchess.

[O'Malley] Maybe we'd better
find another place, huh ?

Oh, no, no, no. I would
like to see your pad,

- and meet your Scat Cat.
- Well, okay.

[Jazz]

Hey, Scat Cat !
Blow some of that sweet stuff my way.

[ Trumpet Blaring ]

[ Laughing ]
Well, looky here.

Big Man O'Malley
is back in his alley.

[Scat Cat]
Swing on down here, Daddy.

Lay some skin on me,
Scat Cat. Yeah!

- Buonasera, paesano!
- Welcome home, O'Malley !

Duchess, this is
the greatest cat of'em all.

Oh, I'm delighted
to meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat.

Likewise, Duchess.

You're too much.

Oh, ho, ho,
you are charming !

And you music is so--
so different,

so exciting.

It isn't Beethoven, Mama,
but it sure bounces.

[ Chuckling ] Say !
This kitten cat knows where it's at !

- Knows where what's at ?
- Well, little lady,
let me elucidate here.

Everybody wants
to be a cat

Because a cat's the only cat
who knows where it's at

Tell me !
Everybody's pickin' up
on that feline beat

- 'Cause everything else is obsolete
- Strictly high-button shoes.

A square with a horn makes you
wish you weren't born

- Every time he plays
-[Horn]

But with a square
in the act

You can set
music back

To the caveman days
[ Scats ]

[O'Malley]
I've heard some corny birds
who tried to sing

Still the cat's the only cat
who knows how to swing

[ With Russian Accent ]
Who wants to dig a long-haired
gig and stufflike that

[ Together]
When everybodywants to be a cat

A square with a horn makes you
wish you weren't born

Every time he plays

Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky

[Scat Cat, O'Malley]
With a square in the act
you can set music back

- To the caveman days
- Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky

- Yes, everybody wants to be a cat
- Everybody wants to be a cat

Because a cat's the only cat
who knows where it's at

[O'Malley, Marie]
When playin'jazz
he always has a welcome mat

'Cause everybody
digs a swingin' cat

Oh, boy, fellas !
Let's rock thejoint !

Ha-ha ! Groove it, cat !
[ Laughing ]

[ Crash ]

Shanghai, Hong Kong, egg foo young
[ Laughing ]

Fortune cookie
always wrong

That a hot one !

How 'bout you
and me, Duchess ?

Yes. Let's swing it,
Thomas.

Groovy, Mama, groovy !

Blow it, small fry.
Blow it.

[ WeakTrumpet Blast ]

Boy, he blew it.

But he was a-close.

- Mmm.
- Beautiful.

Ifyou want
to turn me on

Play your horn
Don't spare the tone

And blow a little soul
into the tune

[ Sniffling ]

Let's take it
to another key

Modulate
and wait for me

I'll take a few ad-libs
and pretty soon

[Scat Cat]
The other cats will all commence

Congregatin'
on the fence

Beneath the alley's
only light

Where every note is

Out of sight

[Jazz ]

Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

- [Scat Cat] Hallelujah
- Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

- I'm tellin' you
- Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

- Yeah !
- Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

- Mmm !
- Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

- Hallelujah!
-Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

[ Sighing ]

Everybody wants
to be a cat

Because a cat's
the only cat

Who knows
where it's at

Oh, yeah

Happy dreams,
my loves.

I'll bet they're on
that magic carpet right now.

[ Laughing ]
They could hardly keep their eyes open.

[Duchess]
Ah. Suchan exciting day.

It sure was,
and what a finale.

Thomas, your friends are
really delightful. I just love them.

Well, they're kind a rough,
you know, around the edges,

but if you're ever in a jam, wham,
they're right there.

[Duchess] And, wham, when we
needed you, you were right there.

[O'Malley] That was just
a lucky break for me, baby.

Oh, thank you so much
for offering us your home.

Oh, I mean
your pad.

- It's very nice.
- Well, now, wait a minute.

You know, this is
the low-rent district, remember ?

No, no, no, I like it.
Well, uh--

Well, all it needs
is a little tidying up...

and, well,
maybe a...

Iittle feminine touch.

Well, if you're applying
for the job, well--

Goody. Mother's going to
work for Mr. O'Malley.

Boy, your eyes
are like sapphires.

Gee ! Huh. That's
pretty corny, though, huh ?

No, not at all.

Any woman
would like it.

Oh, l, I mean,
even little Marie.

Yeah. All those
little kittens, Duchess.

I love 'em.

[Duchess]
And they are very fond of you.

- Yeah !
- Shh !
- You know, they need--

Well, you know,
a sort--

Well, a sort ofa--
Well, a father around.

Oh, Thomas, Thomas,
that would be wonderful.

Oh, darling, if,
if only I could.

But why
can't you ?

Because of Madame.

I-- I could
never leave her.

But-- But Madame is--

Well, she's just
another human.

You're just
her house pets.

Oh, no, no. We mean
far more to her than that.

Oh, sorry, my dear.

We just have to
go home tomorrow.

Yeah.

Well... I guess
you know best,

and I'm gonna
miss you, baby.

[O'Malley]
Huh, and those kids.

- [ Sighing ]
- Gee, I'm gonna miss them too.

- Well, we almost had a father.
- Yeah.

[ Yawns ]
Let's go back to bed.

Good night, Duchess.

Good night, Thomas.

Hey ! Meee-owww !

What a classy
neighborhood.

Dig these
fancy wigwams.

- "Wigwams" ?
- Are you sure we're
on the right street ?

Yes. Yes ! Let's hurry.
We're almost home.

Duchess ! Kittens !
Hallelujah ! They're back !

Oh, no ! Edgar !
I've got to do something quick !

Oh, ho !

Edgar, old chap, get used to
the finer things of life.

Someday they're all going
to be yours, you sly old fox.

- [Cork Squeaking, Pops]
- Oh !

Oh, he got me !

Hooray, we're home !

Wait for me ! Wait for me !
Me first ! Me first !

[ Grunting ]

- It's locked.
- Come on.

Let's all start meowing.

[ Meowing ]

- [Meowing]
- It can't be them !

The kittens !

[ Gasping, Screaming ]

Don't come in !
[ Grunting ]

Go away ! Away !

Look !
There's Roquefort.

[ Kittens ]
Hi, Roquefort.

[Berlioz]
He's sure glad to see us.

[ Sighing ]
I don't know what to say.

I only wish that l--

Maybe just a short, sweet
goodbye would be easiest.

I'll never forget you,
Thomas O'Malley.

- Bye.
- So long, baby.

Don't come in !
Look out for Edgar !

Duchess,
wherever have you been ?

Look out for the--

- [ Screeching ]
- Sack.

Well...

guess they won't
need me any more.

You came back.

Oh, it just isn't fair !

[Madame] Edgar!
Edgar, come quickly!

Coming, Madame. Coming.

I'll take care
of you later !

Oh, Edgar, they're back !
I heard them !

Hurry, hurry!
Let them in !

Duchess ? Kittens ?

Come here, my darlings.

Where are you ?
Come on.

Uh, allow me, Madame.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty !

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty !

His name is O'What ?

[Duchess]
His name is O'Malley. O'Malley!

[Marie]
Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey!

[Duchess] Oh, never mind!
Run! Move! Go get him !

Yes, yes !
I'm on my way !

[Toulouse]
I told ya it was Edgar.

[Berlioz]
Aw, shut up, Toulouse.

Oh, it's no use, Edgar.

I'm afraid it was just
the imagination of an old lady.

But I was so sure
that I heard them.

I'm so sorry, Madame.

Mr. O'Malley !
[ Grunting ]

Hey ! Stop !

[ Panting ]
Duchess ! Kittens ! ln trouble !

- Butlerdidit.
- Duchess and kittens in trouble ?

Look, you go get Scat Cat
and his gang of alley cats.

A-A-Alley cats ?
But I'm a mouse.

Look, I'm
gonna need help.

- You mean you want me--
- Move !

Tell him O'Malley sent you
and you won't have a bit of trouble.

[ Breathing Hard ]
No trouble, he said.

Well, that's easy for, uh,
for what's-his-name to say.

He's got nine lives.
I've only got one.

What's a little swinger like you
doin' on our side oftown ?

Oh, please ! Uh, I was
sent here for help by a cat.

This is outrageous !
This is crazy !

[Cats Laughing]

[Roquefort]
B-Buthonest!

He told me just
to mention his name.

So ? Start
mentioning name, rodent.

Oh, now, wait a minute,
fellas. [ Stammering ]

D-D-Don't rush me.
His name is O'Toole.

I don't dig him.
Strike one.

Oh. Ooh.

- O'Brien.
- [Scat Cat] Strike two.

Oh, boy !

You believe me,
don't you ?

Keep talkin', mousy.

H-How about--
O'... Grady ?

- Huh ?
- Mousy, you just struck out.

Any last words ?

[ Muttering ]
Why did I listen to that O'Malley cat ?

- O'Malley ?
- O'Malley ?

Hold it, cats !
This little guy's on the level.

You're darn tootin'
I'm on the level !

Oh, we didn't mean-a to,
to rough a-you, squeaky !

Don't worry about me !
O'Malley needs help !

Duchess and the kittens
are in trouble !

Come on, cats !
We gotta split !

Hey, wait for me !
You don't know the way !

[Edgar] Now, my little pesky pets.
You're going to travel first class...

in your own
private compartment...

all the way
to Timbuktu.

And this time, ha,
you'll never come back.

Oh, no.
We've got to hurry.

The baggage truck will
be here any moment now.

[ Screeching ]

Ooh !

[ Screaming ]

[Crash]

[ Whinnying ]

[ Gasps ]

[Cats Screeching]

Over there !
They're in the trunk !

[ Screeching ]

Quiet !

[ Tumblers Clicking ]

[ Screeching ]

Everybody,
out of here, fast !

You're going to Timbuktu...

if it's
the last thing I do !

[Driver]
Well, Mac, this must be the trunk, eh ?

[Mac] Yup, and she goes
all the way to Timbuktu.

Heave... ho !

[Toulouse Snarling,
Hissing]

Meow !
[ Spitting ]

[O'Malley,
Duchess Laugh]

Now, my pets,
a little closer together.

Good. Good.

Look, Georges.
What do you think ?

Very good.
Very good.

But I think we should
get on with the will.

Yes, yes, of course,
but you know what to do.

Very well.
Scratch one butler.

You know, Georges, if Edgar
had only known about the will,

I'm sure he never
would have left.

Duchess, it's wonderful
to have you all back.

And I think this young man
is very handsome.

Shall we keep him
in the family ?

- [ Meowing ]
- [Madame Laughs]

Of course we will.
We need a man around the house.

And, Georges, we must be sure to
provide for their future little ones.

- [ Gulping ]
- [Georges Chuckles] Ofcourse.

The more,
the merrier.

Now don't move.

Smile.

Say "cheese. "

- Did somebody say "cheese" ?
- [Flash PowderExplodes]

Thank you.
Now, run along downstairs.

There's
a surprise for you.

[Band Playing Jazz]

Adelaide,
what's that music ?

Sounds like a gang
of swinging hep cats.

That's exactly
what they are, Georges.

- They're the start
of my new foundation.
- What foundation ?

My home for all
the alley cats of Paris.

[Jazz ]

Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

Everybody, everybody

Everybody wants
to be a cat

Everybody
Everybody

Everybody wants to be a cat
[ Giggling ]

Everybody
Whoopee ! [ Laughing ]

Everybody wants
to be a cat

Everybody
Everybody

Everybody
wants to be

-A...
- [ Howling ]

- Cat
- [ Howling ]

[ Howling ]

Hey, Napoleon,
that sounds like the end.

Wait a minute.
I'm the leader.

I'll say
when it's the end.

[ Grunting ]
It's the end.

[Jazz]

[Toulouse] Oh, yeah