The Apology King (2013) - full transcript

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"Dogeza"

"Dogeza"

"Dogeza"

It is Japan's time-honored
method of apology

Placing one's forehead on the ground

expresses complete surrender
and gratitude to another

Begging for forgiveness

For example, a cell phone
ringing during this film

Sorry

Not this one

Sorry



Or this one

Sorry

Criminal acts, such as

recording inside a theater

Making a flub at a public appearance

Not really...

A sudden exposure

I mean, crappy movies like this

end up with crappy premieres

Getting annoying emails from
the crappy director every night

Such a crappy nuisance

I'm so sorry!

Ayako

No...



An affair

- Don't go!
- Sorry, it's work.

- Work, you know?
- Work?

I'll call you, okay?

Two-timing

- You're late!
- Sorry, it's work.

No matter what the reason

being late or otherwise

As the method of apology that holds
the greatest impact,

"Dogeza" has been loved by the
Japanese for a long time

But actually...

there is an ultimate method of apology
even greater than the "Dogeza"

In our industry, this is
the "Super Dogeza"

or the "Ultra Dogeza"

or even the "Dogeza Horizon"

Do you want to learn it?

We want to know!

Do you know? Do you?
I don't know

We want to know!

I'd like to know

Please! Tell us!
Quickly, please!

Yeah, I'd like to know

- I'd like to know
- I really don't care

Unfortunately, it is something
none of you can know

Because once you attend a lecture
from an expert apologist

at our center,
no matter what the trouble,

no matter how bad the situation,
through "Dogeza"

actually...

in some cases,
Dogeza may even

be rendered useless

Before you consult a lawyer

First, come to the
Tokyo Apology Center

Apologizing means
no need for police

For forgiveness, use "Dogeza"

Be...

Dogeza!

♪Tokyo

♪Apology

♪Center

Case 1:
Noriko Kuramochi

Maybe I was raised leniently

I've always been bad
at apologizing

Why'd you stop here?

- Maybe cause I lived overseas as a child
- Back up some!

The "apologize first"
way of thinking

is deadly overseas

Apologizing is the same
as admitting your guilt

and it puts you at
a disadvantage in court

What's this idiot doing?

What the hell are you doing?

Hot!

You idiot!
We're going to kill you!

So even then when it
was really my fault

it was necessary

It was 200% your fault

I apologized...really

When? At what point?

Hey

At the point where

the driver of the Benz was

going to pay the debt to the boss

Anyway, sorry

Huh?!

Ouch!

Way too late!

That's what I thought

Not just late, but you
can't say "anyway"

It's like you're saying
you're not sorry

And then?

After that, I talked to a lawyer

I'm Takahata, the Oiso family lawyer

Please sign this contract

I don't think you'll understand it

and we're not taking questions

so sign please

What is it?

You start working as a call girl
in Osaka next week

What!?

Your professional name
is...Noriko

That's my real name

You really didn't read this?

He said I wouldn't
understand it anyway

You owe the Oiso family
4 million Yen

120,000 every month,
with 30% interest every 10 days

You signed it,
so there's no way out

This sucks

- Sucks, sucks, sucks
- No, don't...

You're crumpling it

You should have apologized quickly

But, overseas...

This isn't the US or Europe,
it's Japan

By the time you apologized,
it was too late

It should feel as though you
apologized before you even hit them

First, hit me with this

What?

Hit me with this

S&M?

Even if it was, do you think
I'd ask for that now?

No...

Injuries are part of the
masquerade of the apology

Kuramochi-san, we don't have much time

Why the shoulder?

You need it on the face

Without a mark,
it doesn't mean anything!

It's the "masquerade",
you idiot!

What?

Who're you?

I'm her brother

Come on! Let's go!

We're here...

because my sister is sorry!

Ah, you're head is injured

Yes! On the way here,

while passing a construction site,
a steel beam...

a steel beam fell!

But, before anything else,

I knew we had to
come to see you

My sister

caused irreparable harm
to your precious car...

I beg your forgiveness!

For Dogeza, speed is everything

Within 39.62 seconds of
appearing on the scene,

The impact of the uncommon
action of abasing oneself

combined with a bloody face

These elements all combine to form
a sense of superiority in the other person

Incidentally, according to records,
Japan's first Dogeza

can be seen in the Kofun Period's
terracotta figures

Brother, raise your head

Raising it now would be too soon

The boss said it, didn't he?

Brother, first let's take
care of that wound

Then we can talk
about it

Now you can raise it

Yes, sir

Sorry, so sorry

Mr. Kuroshima took it from here

and came to an arrangement
with the family

Of course, all was not forgiven
just because of the Dogeza

Everyday, he arrived earlier than
any of the gang members,

cleaned the stairs and the bathrooms,

helped the boss with his karaoke hobby,

lit people's cigarettes...

Please allow me

Mr. Kuroshima!

Coming!

Please...there, there

massaged the boss' shoulders

helped the boss with his karaoke hobby,

Even though I knew what it was,

even I thought "does this guy
want to join the Yakuza"?

That's how dedicated his service was.

It maintained their sense of superiority

Repair costs for the car

and including my medical bills

it comes to 412,000 Yen

but with our current sale

it'll be 400,000 even

That's higher than I thought

What are you saying!?
That's 1/10th what you owed!

Put down the phone!

If you don't pay 400,000

you're going to be sold off
as a call girl!

Sorry

Can I make payments?

Yes, so this is now
null and void

Ah, well...

Is there anything I could
help you out with?

You?

Actually, I'm hoping to
become a legal clerk

So this has been a
good learning experience?

I'd like to study more

If I work with you,
I'll get lots of experience

You won't let me?

I don't mind

Really?

Then...

put this on

Be

Dogeza!

♪Tokyo

♪Apology

♪Center

Cut...okay

That was good

Mr. Kuroshima

Not this...
This is not the experience I want

Yeah, I know
Then do the webpage

Web?

I don't have a webpage,
so you can't search for "Dogeza"

Is this what you want?

Yeah, that's good

Is your office around here?

Office?

The Tokyo Apology Center

There isn't one

None?

Wow, if you search on "Dogeza",
my face pops right up

This is good!
Thank you!

What do you mean no office?

Don't need one

I just meet the clients, we apologize,
and they are forgiven

This address?

Hmm? Oh, it's this restaurant

Right, right?

I'm not homeless

I have a home, but I don't
want to give out the address

It's not very convincing if the one
that does "Dogeza" lives in a mansion

I've got responsibilities, you know

I got an email

A client, huh?

Case 2:
Takuya Numata

Are you okay on time?

Yeah, no worries

I'm late!

There was another accident
and the trains were stopped

Ah, there have been a lot lately

Right?

Yes?

Since train accidents
are acts of God

being 30 minutes late
is no big deal, right?

I guess

Sorry!
Traffic was bad!

Now how do you feel?

Coming by car, you could
predict bad traffic

so I should have
left the house earlier, right?

That's right

Therefore, it was the train

Apologizing wholeheartedly
even though it isn't one's fault

evokes kindness in others
and turns a minus into a plus

Apologizing when unnecessary
is very effective

I'm Mr. Kuroshima of
the Tokyo Apology Center

How can I help you?

So why were you late, really?

I overslept

How can I help you?

How do I say it...

A lawsuit? I'm being sued...

I've been involved in a
project called "Love Bra"

and so I went there to headquarters
to do some work on it

I will explain how the new "Love Bra"
memory cushion pad was developed

Mr. Numata

It'll be easier to understand
if you compare it with the TR331

What?

You didn't read my materials?

No

That's fine, I'll get them

I was working with
Misaki Ube,

a cute, young lady

We had a celebratory dinner
after the presentation

and at the after-party

It was sorta free spirited

It was getting really fun

I don't really remember it well

Apparently I did something to Miss Ube

After that, she suddenly became cold

Last weekend...

You were sued for sexual harassment?

I get it!

What?

Sorry, please continue

He can't continue...
what was that?

What do you get?

Earlier, it was just
the two of us, right?

How can I say this...

I didn't feel safe

Is it your eyes?

Your mouth?
Skin texture?

Something dangerous

He looks at me like
I'm a sexual object

Honestly, I don't even want
to breathe the same air

Hey!

Sorry

- You went too far
- But I apologized

But your apology was too late,
you can't do that

Now I can't look at him

Nope...

What kind of face is he making?

No...

I'm going to meet her
and I want to apologize

When I returned to the company
I was summoned by the boss

Howdy, howdy

We've been kicked off the project

Huh?

I just got word that just the
main office will handle it

And you are being named
in a lawsuit

Hey!

Did you already apologize?

Miss Misaki, the chief is calling

- I'm on my way
- Understood

Ya know, lately...

I just kinda touched
your ass, ya know?

Sorta...

My bad

- That's not apologizing
- Huh?

First, don't say "ass"

Even if you touched her,
use "bottom" or "hips"

Yeah, that's right...
She's not a hostess

Comparing her to a hostess is rude
Even to the hostess, it's rude

I've been so busy,
I haven't even had a prostitute

Hey, Mr. Numata!

But I called one yesterday,
so I'm good now

Numata!

But I touched Misaki's ass
even when I was with other women.

Numata!

I understand it's not okay to touch
any ass even when you're drunk

Hey, NUMATA!

Huh?

You...

You are good at making
women's underwear

Yeah, sure

I guess at work I tend to
look at women as tools

Tools...or maybe flesh?

If you hold this flesh here,
then it becomes a C cup

Balancing it with the ass

Turn left

Turn left

Sorry you had to wait

So, where we headed?

What are you doing?

Not like that

If someone sees us,
we pretend to be lovers

since my boss ordered me,
but touch me and I'll kill you!

Yes, ma'am!

First step of apologizing

First, demonstrate your sincerity

For example, the position
from which you apologize

Someone calling "taxi"
versus

running and sweating,

which one shows sincerity?

Ow!

Run, Numata!

I am

Lift your legs

Hey, speed up

♪Blizzard of cherry blossoms

I see...

So that's why the bloody face...

That was because they were Yakuza

Ultimately, Japanese love clichés

Sincerity or heart

They forgive the man that tries

Are you okay?

Shouldn't you go to a hospital?

Next, listen to what
the other person has to say

Look in their eyes, listen closely,
and make attentive noises

This can wait,
you should go to a hospital

Mr. Numata

Mr. Numata!

What are you looking at?

Basically, women are creatures that
want you to lend an ear to their stories

Hear out their complaints

Just by fulfilling this desire,
their anger will be halved

You take me for an idiot

It's not that...

There's no point in arguing

When people are angry,
they don't listen at all

There's a simple test to show
how little they pay attention

You didn't even read
what I prepared for the presentation

True

Let's change "true"
into something else

"Frue"

I asked you to look them over
before the presentation

"Frue"

And during the meeting,
don't play with your phone

"Frue"

And you made it seem like
it was all your idea

Aren't you embarrassed?

"Frue"

"Frue"
That seems to be "frue"

Not listening at all

"Pascal"
Now, how about this

Basically, it's a matter of trust

Yeah, "Pascal"

With a docile expression,
it really doesn't matter what you say

Let's take a look

I don't want to go to
court for being groped

"Rascal"

But, it's annoying

"Alaska, Alaska, Alaska"

We're business partners, right?

- "Pasta"
- Even so...

"Tom Jones"

There's no trust

"Tom Jones"

You hurt me...

What's "rascal"?
Is that a racoon?

When they finish venting

Next, shower them with praise

Huh? Isn't that a little shameless?

Your skin is beautiful

What?

Um, well...

Do you do something special?

Some beauty secret

No, just lotion

That's all?

Amazing...

See?

- Huh?
- Shameless is fine

100% flattery

Human beings love praise

You've got an eye booger

You're erotic
Quite erotic, Ube...

I bet the men can't leave you alone

Erotic...

If I got a call girl that looked
like you, I wouldn't ask for a change

Hello?

That is not a compliment

Huh?

Huh? What?

Mr. Numata, the word "erotic"
is not a compliment

Look at her face,
does she look happy?

Bring Along a Respected Person

Appealing to the human fascination with

strength or merit using someone that

you know well, such as your
boss or an elder,

becomes an effective form of covering fire

My father

Erotic, huh?

You sure are erotic...

I bet men can't leave her alone,
huh, Takuya?

Erotic, this one...

That is not "covering fire"

You're just adding fuel to the fire

I'm leaving,
I've got nothing else to say

I'll let my lawyer know
what happened today

Ah, wait, wait, wait...

- Hold on
- What?

Here

Here

It's a Swiss watch
worth 1,186,500 Yen

Here

Sacrifice of a Cherished Belonging

If your sincerity is not conveyed
through words and deeds

you should give up
an item you cherish

to gain forgiveness

I'm giving it to you, okay?

Here you go, huh?

Don't treat me like a fool

Sorry for the wait

Sorry, boss, it's been hard

I know, right?

All your advice completely backfired

All his apologies just make it worse

He has a gift for it

Well said

You piss me off!

What now, boss?

Boss?

Boss?

I'm listening...

Take a break

- Good work
- Thanks

Hey!

White, huh?

Cut it out!

It's no big deal

Yes it is!

Are you listening?

Put Numata on

Hey

Hey!

Hello?

Did you do Dogeza?
Mr. Numata, did you?

Are you Being Dogeza?

I already did

What? Dogeza didn't work?

That's right

Actually,

The lawyer that the company
is using for Miss Misaki

is an old professor
of mine from college

Got it...explain it later

Let me show you the preview room

Masaomi Minowa

passed the bar at age 26

then studied law
at Columbia University

and obtained his credentials

He is acknowledged as an international
lawyer that deals mainly with human rights

No matter how small the issue,
he will fight for it in court

Basically, he's a giant pain

Please have a seat

That's a chair

Can't you see the chair?

Don't you see the chair?

Do you hate chairs?

Excuse me,

it's been a long time

Four years ago, I took one of
your classes at West Tokyo University

I'm Noriko Kuramochi

It's 120% certain we
won't settle out of court

A little more, please?

I'll be right there

We've got to think of
something besides apologizing

That's not the way

Boss

I understand law so when he says
120% chance they won't forgive,

it means we have to apologize 150%

After all, we are
the Tokyo Apology Center

Here is your Darjeeling Tea

This may be a tea shop

so we are the Delicious Tea
Apology Center!

Apologize 150%...

Is it possible?

You may have already been forgiven

Huh?

Wanting to apologize

basically means you
want to be forgiven, right?

There's no going back now

I want to see this
through to the end

But,

since there's a lawyer involved now,

it has to be a great apology

So, 150%, right?

But I am not deterred

I guess

Let's do it

Get up!

Oh, right, sorry...

This is a customer announcement

Because of the recent accident

lines 1 and 2 are both delayed

There's been another
jumper on the train

Oh, it's on the news?

There's been a lot lately

Really?

There's been a lot of them
that lost their jobs?

Is that really worth dying over?

Just from being accused
of sexual harassment

Sorry, since I'm late,
I'll just take a taxi

Yeah, okay

It is still uncertain
when the train will arrive

We will let you know as soon as
we know when the train will restart

She's headed your way

Is that really worth dying over?

Just from being accused
of sexual harassment

Numata

Hello

Huh?

Huh? Did I fail?

Didn't I just jump
in front of a train?

But I'm floating

I'm floating, right?

So I succeeded?

Yeah

I was fired for sexual harassment
by the company I gave 20 years to

Yeah

You knew?

I...

overheard it just now...

jumping in front of the train

But actually, I really liked her

So now I can't rest in peace

What should I do?

About what?

Her house is really close by

No, no, no!
You can't go there!

You're right,
I guess she hates me

that's why she sued me

No, I'm sure it's not that

She's still angry, right?

No, she's not...

- Really?
- Really!

I think she's already forgiven you

Already...

What?

So, I didn't need to die?

That's right!

Dying over something

as simple as sexual harassment

I'm sure she regrets it

So, rest in peace...

Ah! Mr. Numata?

Why are you here?

Ah...no...

You called me...

I thought I would apologize

I'm very sorry

Ah, wait!

Huh?

Sorry, but,

well...

this may sound strange

You want to get some tea?

What?

It's not like that!

It's just that...

I'm scared to be alone

Just until the trains start back up

Of course

Shall we?

Now that's apologizing 150%

Did you really need that?

I got a call from Misaki Ube
and she's dropping the case

Really?

Mr. Numata? You're here?

This is great, isn't it?

We're settling it

But what about
the lawyer...Mr. Minowa?

Don't worry about that

Huh?

Nothing

Can I eat this curry?

Go ahead

Huh?

You mix it like that?

Yes

He's here! Just now, the actor Elite

Suspect Elite Minami's car has arrived
at the South Shibuya Police Station

On his way home, Minami

got into an argument with
a man in central Tokyo

and assaulted him by
kicking and beating

It took the victim 3 weeks
to recover from his injuries

The South Shibuya Police

arrested him for injurious assault

The suspect
is the eldest son of

actor Tetsuro Nambu and
actress Haruka Danno

Case 3:
Tetsuro Nambu and Haruka Danno

Shall we begin?

Waiter, ashtray please

Ah, yes

Our son, Elite, had an incident

I know

He has to give a
public apology immediately

- Yes, yes
- What?

Ah, sorry...
I mean "wacha, wacha"

Ah, it's you!

I saw your show about
the guy with cancer

"Six Months to Live"

That's it! It was called that,
but ran for 3 years

- What?
- I'm Danno

Haruka Danno!
It's really you!

But, you two...

Split up

Is that right?

So we can't appear together

- Right
- The divorce

lost me three commercials

What's that got to do with this?

It's a critical time for me,
I've got to be careful

Careful of what?
That's your problem

Next month, I've got
a production starting

Well, I've got a movie premiere
in two weeks

It doesn't matter,
it'll bomb anyway

If it does bomb,
I won't have to pay alimony

Well,

you don't really know
who is listening to you two

When is the press conference?

At 7 o'clock

7 o'clock...

Today!?

Okay, manager, if you would...

Yes, yes

Now we will begin
the press conference

Stop for a second

Whaaaat?
Who are you?

My wife

I'm Nami and I owe
everything to him

My last name became Minami
after the wedding

So forwards and backwards

It's Nami Mi Nami

Stop taking pictures!

We met through a mutual friend
and then we made it

official in June but haven't

made it public, so this is our chance...

Next time, okay?

She's young and beautiful
so there'll be

feelings of jealousy at what
should be a public apology

See, look how cold your
ex-wife's eyes look...

- I'm 22
- You're not listening!

Same age as your son

"Met through a mutual friend"

A singles party, right?
Just say that!

Do it by yourself

Okay, now do it again

- Huh?
- What? Nami?

Nambu!

Do it!

Apologize!

"Nambu"?

I am here

because my son, Elite

has caused some trouble

I am so...

so very...

truly sorry

- Utter crap
- What?

Isn't "crap" too nice?
Did you get hair plugs again?

Don't talk about my hair!
You can't tell...

You can really see it in the back,
sorta looks like...

A burial mound?
In a keyhole shape?

On the contrary,
his head's the only good part

The unnatural look of
his hair actually helps

Paid attention to the camera,
started crying from the start,

Dragging voice, overstressed,
overdone, short bow

And that look at the end?

Too staged? That's 7 points

Score: 3/10

There's only an hour and a half

Let's take a look at
some footage that may help

That's me...

Yes, that's you

It's from the show
"Six Months to Live"

This episode got great reviews

Numbers through the roof!

This is a bad one

Huh?

You killed my husband!

It's my...

responsibility

I am so...

so very sorry!

Ahhhh....

- What?
- It's the same

Exactly the same

He only has one method

He does the exact same thing
in the final episode

Hey, whose side are you on?

It's before your hair plugs

You're right

You can't tell

Pause it!
See there?

Ahhhh...

Just a coincidence

Coincidence would mean you can't act

His fake apology and
real apology are the same

I know, but he thinks it's cool

No, no, no, no...

He practices that look
all the time in the mirror

- You bastard!
- Sorry!

Mr. Nambu!
Nambu! Nambu!

"Nambu"?

Mr. Nambu,
Your go-to look

doesn't have the persuasive
power that you think

Are you...

dismissing my performance?

You need to be reborn!
Only 90 minutes...

Show everyone a Tetsuro Nambu
that no one has seen

I will

Write whatever you want!

What...

What was wrong with it?

What?

Ma'am...Noriko, you too

You made eye contact
with me just before the speech

Yes

That's when I completely relaxed

and I could speak naturally

You were too relaxed!

Boss

What was that?

I thought I was
watching Bob Hope

I am here today

cuz my son

caused problems

Sorry 'bout that

It was harder than doing a role

"Doing a role"?

Was that a role to you?

You're right

After that, your bow...

Yeah, you said 20 seconds

Are you a child?
How fast did you count?

I couldn't help it!

You kept talking about my hair!

You're bald!

Just accept it

These days people are
even shaving their heads

Right, ma'am?

Yeah, I guess so

A length of 20 seconds...

there's a reason for it

We looked at the bows from
apologies for celebrity scandals

over the past 10 years,

including their angle and length

Counting up negative reviews,
we arrive at

the optimal apology duration

For cases involving injury,
from the upright position

100 degrees declination

with head bowed 20 seconds

Resulting in a minimal number
of negative press reports

I get it, but not really

Even the angle of the bow...

But when you stood up,
what was that face?

I'm not really sure

It defies words...

Defies words...

The question-and-answer
session afterwards was bad, too

You kept saying "Victim A"
over and over

To victim A

is an apology enough?

It's Mr. A...

Every time you drank water,
your eyes crossed

You held the microphone
like a rapper

You kept calling Chunichi Sports...

Go ahead, Chunichi Spurts

You sped through and then
talked about your marriage

Forwards and backwards

It's Nami Mi Nami

You spilled the water

and took pains to
hide your bald head

That's enough!

You spilled the water

If you think it's so easy...

Towel please...

Got it

If you think it's so easy,
why don't you do it?

No problem!

I am here today

because of my son's connection
with a recent case,

causing problems for everyone...

I am so...

terribly sorry

5, 6, 7, 8

They cut it short

So how many seconds did she bow?

1 minute 50 seconds

Better than too short, right?

But the kimono is a bit much...

The extravagance cancels
out the apology

My opera, "Princess Kaguya
that rode on Apollo"

still has seats available at
Bunkamura for the midday shows

You really got the plug in, huh?

But the article,

is this

Tiny!

To Chunichi Sports,

calling them Chunichi Spurts

was utterly deplorable

But Mr. Nambu, that doesn't
have anything to do with the apology

After that, they had
competing apology conferences,

clarification conferences

and apology conferences for their
clarification conferences

Although I said that my opera,

"Princess Kaguya that rode on Apollo"
had midday seats available,

there are also some seats
at evening shows

Can you move a little closer?

I don't want to lose any more
commercials, so this is the closest

You only have one commercial!

No photos together, please

What?

That's all
I'm sorry

Hey!
Wait a sec!

I'm...

I'm very sorry

They repeated their apologies and
explanations on blogs and Twitter

No one even cares anymore
that they are just

going back and forth apologizing

This is also part of
Mr. Kuroshima's strategy

What we call anger

through time can morph
into positive feelings

The reason behind it all
no longer matters

Time helps cool things off and becomes

the perfect chance for apology

This perfect chance can
also invite an unexpected problem

We are at the
South Shibuya Police Station

It is 1:05 pm

The suspect is coming out now!

Are those sunglasses on his head?

Sure are...

Why are they on there?
This is where he needs to bow

Huh?

There's something on his sweatshirt

I'm scared to ask,
but what's it mean?

"Kill You Next Time"

He's arrested for assault
and announces murder

Um, I'm...

kinda sorry

- "Kinda"
- Did he say "kinda"

14, 15

Do you hear something?

17, 18, 19, 20

You can't count,
absolutely can't!

Yo!

Good grief!

It was finally coming together

Ah, actually, I've been thinking...

What?

Why do they have to
apologize in front of the camera?

Huh?

This whole thing

has nothing to do with
those of us watching TV

They said they're sorry for causing
trouble, but people actually enjoy it

The one that really wants an apology...

Is the victim, right?

No, please don't bow to me

I should be the one apologizing

Huh?

I see him getting bashed on TV
and can't take it anymore

But since I'm not a celebrity,
no one will listen...

Actually, I was pretty
drunk that night

Taxi! Taxi!

Ouch!
What was that?

Run, Numata!

I am

Lift your legs

Hey, speed up

♪Blizzard of cherry blossoms

Hey!

- You're famous?
- Yes

Yeah, yeah!

Sort of

I got it! You're Tetsuro Nambu's brat!

Ah, what was your name?
"Neat"...no...

Elite

Man, you're cool!

Ah, can I get a picture?

My kid's a fan

Go ahead

Ok...oops, it's on video

Sorry, can you say something?

Sure

Good evening, this is Elite...

Oh, it cut off...

So, even celebrities
party around here?

A woman? You got a girl around here?

I've got to get going

It's alright, hold on

I bet it's a model, huh?

Right? Hey, hold on a sec!

Excuse me...

Huh? Getting pissed off?

- Not at all
- You going to hit me?

You know what happens then?

- Hit me
- No

Think you're cool
cause of your parents

No, excuse me

Your dad isn't that great

He was cool a long time ago

Now he's just a baldy

And your mom used to be pretty

Fat and thin, back and forth

Now she's doing infomercials

Drinking prune juice, the old hag

Even her husband got sick of her

You can act cool now,
but baldness is hereditary

Hey

Leave my parents out of this!

Ah, ah...sorry

My old man is still amazing!

Right, right?!
Even bald he's cool!

My mother, too!
What do you know?!

Sorry, sorry!

I'll show you how great they are!

I'm proud to be their son!

That guy

He got mad when
you called me baldy?

That's not all

Basically, I pushed him into it

But none of this is
reported in the news

The price of fame...

What I really want to say is...

you've got a really great son

Thank you

He really is

He was even nice as a small child

I'm very sorry

So are we

Thank you

For telling us this

Thank you

Me, too

What?

For calling you baldy so much...sorry

We've got one more story
of parent and child

Case 4:
Masaomi Minowa

Passed the bar at 26

then studied law
at Columbia University

Japan's leading international lawyer

who, starting with the US, has
acquired credentials in 27 countries

It's 120% certain we
won't settle out of court

So are you insisting that
Mr. Numata leaves the company?

Since we are preparing to battle,
I'm not negotiating out-of-court

See yourself out

See yourself out

Even this type of man has a weakness

You want to apologize?

To my daughter...

Is apologizing okay?

We don't live together

I got divorced when she was only 6

That's why you want to apologize...

- The divorce?
- Yes

No, that was a mutual decision

that was amicable

Then what for?

First, can I ask you something?

Go ahead

Just once, I...

raised my hand to her

While I was studying
at Columbia University,

I had an apartment in Manhattan

where the 3 of us lived

Getting my credentials in the States
was a lifelong goal of mine

But that didn't matter to
my 3-1/2 year old daughter

Very hairy armpits
Statue of Liberty!

What is that?

I have no idea

Maybe something from a movie on TV

a famous line

Ah..."nectarine armpit hair 14 meters"

No

Very hairy armpits
Statue of Liberty!

What movie does that come from?

I'm not sure...

Very hairy armpits
Statue of Liberty!

Noni...

Daddy's working

Okay

Very hairy armpits
Statue of Liberty!

Noni, what is daddy doing?

Working!

And when daddy's working?

Don't bother him

Yes, very good,
now go find mommy

Okay

C'mon, Noni!

Very hairy armpits
Statue of Liberty!

I don't think it's funny

Very hairy armpits
Statue of Liberty!

Noni!

She just wants your attention

It's kinda cute

It's cute but the exam...

Enjoy it now

Soon she'll be ignoring you

Very hairy butt
Washington Treaty!

Noni!

Who taught you that?

Mommy

Then, on the day of the exam,

at last, I...

crossed the line

Eri!

What?

Why didn't you wake me?!

I thought you had already left...

I'm late, I'm late!

My tie!

Ahh! Man!

Very hairy armpits
Statue of...

Your daughter probably
doesn't remember

That's what my wife said

But I can't forgive myself,
as a parent...

and as someone engaged in law

No matter what the reason,
raising a hand to a 3-1/2 year old girl

Curry, please

3-1/2...

Can a 3-1/2 year old remember?

Even if not, it's heartbreaking,
cause I remember it vividly

I believe it is still
in her subconscious

Since then, I haven't even
been able to touch her

Apologies are better when done sooner,
so you might have missed your chance

There is that, but

In my line of work, one has to be
very cautious about apologies

and the "apologize first" way of thinking
is dangerous in other countries

Wait, wait...?

The admission of guilt puts you
at a disadvantage in court

What? I've heard that somewhere before

Where...

Never mind...sorry

I'm sorry, please continue

After the divorce,
we lived apart, but

Unexpectedly, I met her again

When I was a professor, she became a
student in my department at the university

Wait, wait...?

It was payback...

- Noriko...
- Ah! Mr. Minowa...

Huh? Noriko?

I was horrified

Visiting a father that can't apologize
and presenting that sort of card

I'm Noriko Kuramochi

How cruel!

That hairy armpit crap!

Four years ago, I took one of
your classes at West Tokyo University

Greeting me like a stranger

So patronizing...

It proves she hasn't forgiven me

Shall we make sure?

What?

She's on her way here

What!?
Why didn't you say something?

Here is your curry, sir

Sorry for the wait

Calm down, Mr. Minowa

- No
- It's just an apology

No, I can't possibly...

- You want to apologize, right?
- Impossible!

Impossible!

Ah! What's this?

This...sorry...this

Boss

Boss!

I got a call from Misaki Ube
and she's dropping the case

Really?

Mr. Numata? You're here?

This is great, isn't it?

We're settling it

But what about
the lawyer...Mr. Minowa?

Don't worry about that

- Huh?
- Nothing

Can I eat this curry?

Go ahead

Huh?

Case 5:
Kosaku Wada

Angry that I made you wait?

Who is it?

A movie producer?
Seemed like it...

A good-for-nothing, huh?

Anyway, when he gets here,
it's "Be Dogeza"

That's been bothering me

Instead of "Be" shouldn't it be "Do"?

What?

You really mean "Do",
so it should be "Do Dogeza"

Whichever you want

You can't just say "whichever"

Welcome...

Sorry, really...
Sure, sure, sure...

I'd prefer not to stop the screening

Yes, I'd prefer that

We'll discuss it in person

Yeah, yeah...

But...

I'll be there at 4 pm

Yeah...what?

Yeah, but...later, you say?

Sure...

Yeah, see you...
Alright then...

Sorry bout that

Don't say sorry!

Huh?

I'm Mr. Kuroshima of the
Tokyo Apology Center

Bargain Sales Cinema's Wada...

You seem very busy

Yes, thanks

In this age, that's no longer
seen as a virtue

Unfortunately, pretending to
be busy doesn't work on us

Lame!

No, I wasn't pretending...

You were 20 minutes late,
but talked on the phone for 5

If you had talked outside, you
would have been 25 minutes late

Which do you think is ruder?

Umm, sorry

Your attempt to look busy actually
has a negative effect on your apology

So, how can we help you?

This is a film I produced

I know this!
I read the book

Who...who?
Who is it in the movie?

Huh? Odagiri?

Well, it might work

Since it sold 600,000 copies,
we'd be foolish not to make a movie,

even if it bombed, right?

There's a complaint about the content

Would you like to preview the film?

I cried, I laughed...
It moved me

Boss, you slept through it,
but I cried my eyes out

Did you kick me?

So what's the problem?

You didn't notice?

The scene where Akira
rushes to Tsugumi

Right, the love scene?

Akira is a dog

Dog?

There's a person in the
background of that scene

Person?

A criminal?

That would've been better

Actually...

a king

King?

A future king, to be exact

Have you heard of the
kingdom of Mantan?

We filmed their crown prince

We received a complaint from
the government of Mantan

Akira?

Akira!

I found you, Akira

Stop it there!

Don't stop it...

Hold it right there

Back it up a little!
Rewind it!

Rewind...

That's too much,
go forward

A little more

Just a little more

More, more, more...

Okay, stop!

Here

This is the crown prince

What? He doesn't look
anything like one

Just a normal guy

That's why we didn't realize it

Isn't Mantan...

where all citizens "Embrace Happiness"?

Yes

Apparently he

often comes into Japan incognito

to go to places like Nakano

or Akihabara to buy
figurines or DVDs

Basically, he's kind of a nerd

It so happened that day

he was at a meet-and-greet
event nearby

Cut!

- Once more!
- Once more...

Thank you

This is a set, please refrain
from making purchases

- Hey, you
- Yes, sir?

- Over there is too empty
- You mean here?

It'd look more natural
with 2 or 3 more people

Got it...hey...

Excuse me?

Do you have a few minutes?

Could you stand right here?

I'll hold that

Sorry, we need two more here!

Got it!

Sorry for the delay

Okay, test shot!

Upon further research,

we found it's a crime to capture images
of the royal family...worth 20 years

What?

Even worse by hidden camera...

in those case, they've actually
killed the paparazzi

That's risky

Then the director got picky...

Wrong!

Can't you walk normal?

See, like this

Don't look at the camera!

Face forward!

Walk at a brisk pace!

Are you royalty?!

But he really was royalty

You just don't have any grace

Shall we give him a beer?

Yes, sir

No issues with the sponsor?

None

It's good, right?
More like summer

In Mantan, drinking
is prohibited by law

Moreover, forcing someone else

is good for 30 years

The sponsor noticed, huh?

Now that's it!

Okay, can you try
walking like you're drunk?

Yeah, that's good!

Yeah, just like an old man

Is this beef?

Or is this?

Ah, chicken!

Oh, you can't eat beef?

What? Is it against the law?

It's against the law...

40 years...

Or death by firing squad...

Or?

But isn't chicken okay?

Right, chicken and beef
aren't the problem

Apparently eating skewered meat
is a serious offense

That's crazy!

- Why's it illegal?
- Then why change to chicken?

It was just what he preferred

What the heck!?

Capturing images, 20 years,

drinking, 30 years,
meat, 40 years...

altogether it's 90 years

Or a firing squad

It would suck to get a
firing squad after living to 90

This isn't funny

They are also having
anti-Japanese demonstrations

==Anti-Japanese Sentiment Explodes==

Today, I brought along the
director and our company president

You are all determined to
see this movie open, correct?

Of course, we've invested
a lot of money in it

And you are determined
not to cut the scene, right?

If you change it,
it's no longer my film

Therefore, an apology is
the only solution

- Apologize?
- Yes

Tonight, from Narita Airport's Terminal 2,

you will be headed to
Wan Bataar, capital of Mantan

- Tonight?
- Yes

The Embassy has instructed me

to not go empty handed

and to pick up some gifts
from the duty free shop

Items that typify
Japan are best, right?

Incidentally,

"sorry" in Mantanese is "wacha"

Wacha

Good... Furthermore, a more
polite version is

"wacha, wacha"

- Wacha, wacha
- Excuse me...

Wacha

Are we 3 the only ones going?

I have another matter to attend to

Waiter, ashtray please

If you'll excuse me

Our son, Elite, had an incident

I know

He has to give a
public apology immediately

- Yes, yes
- What?

Ah, sorry...
I mean "wacha, wacha"

Ah, it's you!

He's a busy fellow, huh?

Probably just pretending

Ah, Director!

How have you been?
Welcome to Mantan!

What is it?!

No need to go down there

What is it?

You must be cold

Are your heads cold?
Did you bring hats?

Me? Translator

Name is Wakubaru

It's hard to pronounce,
so "Hiroshi" is fine

Ah, I'm...

I really don't care

I basically know what you've done

Basically, don't worry

Basically, leave it to me

It's chilly

I don't trust him

Let's all smile, really friendly

Director...

How have you been?

Welcome, welcome

These are filmmakers from Japan

Welcome

Our Minister of Defense

Basically makes 2 million Yen

Our Minister of Culture

Basically makes 2.5 million Yen

Our Deputy Prime Minister

Welcome to Mantan!

Basically, he makes...

That's fine

We brought gifts

Yes, of course

Paper lantern,
basically 50,000 Yen

Ah, tiger candy

Basically, 14,000 Yen

A traditional Japanese handicraft

called a "kokeshi"

The head squeaks

Get them!

- They are very happy
- Liar!

Get out! Get out!

Get out!

Don't come back!

Tokyo sure is hot

A t-shirt would be nice

Who are you?

Wakbal the translator

But "Kiyoshi" is fine

I'm sorry

Up until the last minute, I was
going to go with the Okinawan lions

but I thought kokeshi
would be cuter

The shape did it

The shape?

Basically, the Mantan people hate it

Basically?

Ah, here it is

The capital, Wan Bataar, was once
the scene of heavy ethnic conflict

caught up in heavy fighting, many
indigenous people were taken prisoner

their hands and feet were bound

and their hair was shaved

and ultimately, their heads
were twisted off in public

Such is the disgraceful
history of Mantan...

And then without knowing,
you twisted the neck

You smiled and went
squeakity, squeakity

And so the kokeshi's form
is reminiscent of those prisoners

Basically

Basically?

- Oh!
- What?

The king of Mantan is seeking an
apology from the Japanese government

They apparently issued
a formal statement

We demand an apology

and we will accept nothing less

Mantan forever!

Ah...he's angry

He's angry, isn't he?

Is it going to be okay?

Is what?

Mantan is the third largest producer
of raw cotton in the world

78% of Japan's cotton
comes from Mantan

Therefore, the prices of sanitary
products are going through the roof

He's famous for making
a fool out of himself

Americans eat a lot of meat,
that's why their farts stink

Japanese sports teams are
too serious

Send them some call girls

Plus he was grilled about getting
up in the middle of a Diet session

I was a bit hungry...

I was eating pancakes
at a coffee shop

After that, he was known
as the Pancake Minister

Don't worry, when I was younger,
I knew the king

during the 6 months I was the
Japanese ambassador in Wan Bataar

Kunimatsu! Kunimatsu!

Welcome, Kunimatsu

Kunimatsu!

Welcome, Kunimatsu!

Oh, Kunimatsu

How have you been?

I'm here, everyone!
How have you been?

Ah, did you get fat?

Give me a break

Ah, your son!

- How have you been?
- Man, you've gotten big!

Oh, I've got gifts

Gifts?

Wow, anime stuff!
Cool!

Wow, Mamoru Oshii!
God-level!

Kunimatsu's the best!

He's still an idiot

How have you been?

I'm here with our
nation's film makers

due to the violation of Mantan law
in capturing the crown prince on film

and the disgraceful actions
against the Mantan people

As Japan's representative,
I would like to express my regrets

I, Kazuyoshi Kunimatsu,

think of Mantan as my second home

Therefore, I can easily say

that the king and I are like family

I love Mantan!

I love Japan

Thank you!
I love Mantan!

And so everything came together

...or so it appeared

Hey, hey, surrounding me...
Didn't you hear?

I didn't drink that much wine

Male bonds overcome the
cultural differences across borders

- Mr. Kunimatsu
- Huh?

- And that's all
- Don't you know?

What?

The Mantan king just
made another announcement

Really?

All trade with Japan is suspended

What?

- What happened?
- What does this mean?

- Whaaat?
- Minister?

Don't you know anything?

Just now, the king of Mantan

decreed a stoppage to
exports of raw cotton

Sanitary products have disappeared
from store shelves in Tokyo

Sold out

Furthermore...

Women that can't purchase
sanitary products from stores

are headed to bedding stores

Cotton is disappearing from
bedding stores, too

Across Japan, cotton is selling out!

Think carefully, Mr. Kunimatsu

After the press conference,
where'd you go?

Didn't I got back to the hotel?

Basically, you went back
to the hotel at 10:16

After the conference, you went to
a party the king threw

Yeah

That's where you stroked the head
of the Crown Prince's son

Surume!

Don't cry, don't cry...
Oh, you're here!

Surume!

Surume!

Wakbal!

Is that a big deal?

It is!

In Mantan, stroking a child's head

is an action reserved
only for the king

Cut it out!
Not even my parents can do that!

Got it?

Not only that, but it was
the king's grandson!

A national disgrace!

The party was relaxed and
the wine was flowing

Wait a minute,
Isn't the penalty for drinking...

Drinking's okay for foreigners

Did you drink? Or you?

Just me?!

I apologized on behalf of the country,
isn't that an achievement?

They can overlook one drink

One drink?

The Minister's "achievements"

were captured on film by Wakbal

Enjoy the slideshow

A drunken Minister Kunimatsu

hugged the royal daughter-in-law,

was denied a kiss with the king's wife,

tried to hook up with the secretary,

wrestled with the king,

threw up in the bathroom,

kept asking for the email
of a maid you liked

defaced royal artwork

Impressive that you did
all of this in just 9 hours

Just getting started, the Minister
headed for the red light district

and proceeded to rant to the
reporters that accompanied him

I really love hugging
Mantan women...really!

Cause they really know
how to treat men

Compared to them,
the men are real dimwits

This problem was all because the
Crown Prince is such a dimwit

I even came here to apologize

That kind of man should
go back to Japan

and work in adult movies

Fill 'er up!

Get me a call girl!

I'm so very sorry!

Of course you are apologizing now

Ms. Edishita

I'm Foreign Minister Edishita

I've already set up a public apology

Mr. Kunimatsu, as Minister of Culture,
please create your final masterpiece

Yes, ma'am!

From now on, I will be in charge of
negotiations with Mantan

The people of Mantan...

Does this seem like it's over now?

I thought so and I'm a Dogeza pro

Dogeza pro?

And now there's a man
getting out of another Jeep

This person...

- Mr. Nambu
- It's Nambu

We're not sure who this person is

Suddenly, the people of Mantan

What? He's really popular

It's completely changing

22 years ago, Nambu first appeared
in Mantan in a war movie

He portrayed their national hero,
General Bataar

As for me, I played the
role of a concubine

Mishima!

Let's return to Japan together!

Mishima!

Mishima! Return to Japan with me!

Mishima! Mishima!

Mishima...

I will not return to Japan!

I will stay in Mantan!

Bataar...

This...

is my home!

Here...

I will fight for the people!

As General Bataar!

The movie itself

is a knock-off of
"The Burmese Harp"

What a piece of crap!

When it opened in Japan,
why was the tagline:

"Mantan bursts out in tears,
Japan bursts out in laughter"?

Bataar! Bataar!

Bataar!

Nambu won the Best Actor Award
at the Mantan Film Festival

Ever since then, he's been treated
as a national hero in Mantan

Bataar, Bataar

Bataar...oh, Bataar

Bataar, please touch
my child's head

Bataar the Divine

♪Our Hero Bataar

♪Bataar, Our Hero

Nambu!

I have come here

after many serious insults

to beg your forgiveness!

A Double Dogeza by the
Foreign Minister and a film star,

the boss' waves of attacks

shook the Mantan capital city
of Wan Bataar to the core

Get out,

you bastards

Get out of my sight!

I'm fed up with you!

Get out!

Get out!
Get out!

Huh?

Get out!
Get out!

What?

Why?

Get out!
Get out!

The people of Mantan
became very angry

at their beloved Mr. Nambu
and the Foreign Minister

Japan's classic style of apology...

What is it this time?
What?!

That pose is not good...

Dogeza?

The gesture of rubbing
one's head on the ground

In Japan it may be

the highest form of the
traditional style of apology

but in Mantan it is the
highest form of insult

It means that

"You guys are not even as good
as a lowly earthworm"

Basically

Hey! You hid that on purpose!

I guess I did...

hide it

The leaders of America,
China, France and Italy

have issued statements
in support of Mantan

Boss, do we really have to?

This is for Japan

It went so far that the
Prime Minister must apologize

But Dogeza...

There is an apology
greater than Dogeza

Why did the boss insist
that much on apologizing...

Case 6:
Yuzuru Kuroshima

Born in Gunma prefecture
in November 1971

Grew up with two sisters and
his parents who ran a small inn

Yuzuru's first words

were not "daddy" or "mommy"

Sorry

After that, he entered a
local elementary school

At the age of 8, without any instruction,
he experienced his first Dogeza

He and a friend accidentally
killed 50 crabs when

they tried to keep them
in the inn's hot baths

I'm very sorry!

That's when Yuzuru's eyes were
opened to a strange sensation

The adults' eyes,
his friends' eyes,

were all focused directly on him

And it gave rise to this saying:

==When you apologize,
you are everyone's hero==

There have been a lot of
complaints of boys lifting skirts

so from now on skirts
are prohibited for girls

Shut up, you hag!

What are you hags thinking?!

Shut up!

Yamamoto, don't call hags "hag"!

Sorry, Natsumi...

Dogeza reminded Yuzuru of the
charm and fascination of apologizing

Vice President of the Student Council or

Co-Captain of the volleyball team,

he chose positions that made it easy
to be blamed and then apologize

Hey! What are you doing!?

Sorry, sorry!

Entering the workforce...

What? If you turn on the
A/C you catch a cold?

Customer Service

Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!

Assistant Manager of a restaurant

Are you okay? Sorry

Hotel cleaning crew

We are very sorry for
the sudden cancellation

Security guard
...he rotated through jobs.

Let me take care of it

But the turning point for the boss

occurred about 5 years ago

That day, the boss was
standing in line at a ramen shop

He had been wanting to eat there

ever since he discovered its existence
in a magazine a couple of months before

It was delicious!

Thank you very much!

Let me wipe that down first

Okay, sorry about that,
next customer, please!

Coming through,
please excuse me

Okay, that's 800 Yen,
thank you very much!

Excuse me, the ramen special

Wait just a second,
we'll ask in order

What would you like?

Is it okay now?

- Excuse me, but...
- Order!

Excuse me, the ramen special

- Okay, one special!
- Okay, one special!

- Okay, here's your pork ramen
- Excuse me for a second

Okay, three pork

Pork ramen, sorry for the wait!

- It was delicious
- See you later

Thank you very much!

- It was delicious
- See you later

Sorry

This was a typical shop

that provided smug service by
yelling loudly at the customers

Going unnoticed, this future head of
the Tokyo Apology Center

had already apologized 4 times

Sorry

Sorry

Sorry

Sorry

Although there was nothing wrong

At this point, the excitement
he felt about the ramen

was cut in half by his
dissatisfaction with the service

And then...

Hot!

Here's a cold towel

Okay, the ramen special

Delicious!

He ate the ramen in silence
and left the shop

Sorry to keep you waiting

He drank coffee and smoked

and tried to calm down

30 minutes

40 minutes

1 hour

1 hour...

8 minutes

No good!

Ah, there's a line here

Excuse me just a moment

Wait just a second,
we'll ask in order

I'm here for an apology

Look at me!

Huh?

I got hit here by some
boiling water and it was hot

I'm a little busy,
can you talk to him?

I'm talking to you, Mr. Funaki!

Please apologize

I'll wait in the coffee shop

I came here to apologize
for my employee's behavior

Huh?

I was on the late shift that day
and was embarrassed

when I heard the story from Akaishi

I didn't realize it
was such a bother

It's not the manager's fault...

I'm not the manager,

my name is Misenaga

Mr. Misenaga?

Yes

This has nothing to do with you

I just want that guy Funaki
to apologize to me

He quit yesterday

- Is that so?
- Yes

This isn't much, but please take it

You have his contact info?

No, that's private

No, that's not it

I'm just going to
wait here for Mr. Funaki

This is the president of the chain and

this is the operations chief
from our parent company

And Mr. Funaki?

Well...

This...

isn't much but...

No, I'm not trying to get
money out of you

- Then this?
- No, no, that's not it!

You didn't do anything wrong!

Right, chief, Shimabu...?
Chief Shima?

Mr. Kuroshima, we've been trying to
figure out what we can do for you

To keep hot water from splashing
we developed a system to control it

Even after that, the shop
continued to try to apologize

But it's not that...

- And then...
- What?

For even more safety,

we installed this clear divider
between the customers and the staff

But...

Even then, if hot water
somehow splashes

you get a "splash card" and you
get a free bowl of ramen with 5 cards

This isn't it, Mr. Misenaga

All I want is for the person that
splashed me to apologize

Why can't it be someone else?

No

Why does it have to be Funaki?

What you've done here isn't a
bad thing, Mr. Misenaga

It's not something to cry over

Eventually, the shop went under

It made me think

there were people like me
all over the world

that just wanted an apology

Lawsuits or settlements...

it's not a matter of winning or losing

People that just want to
hear a simple "I'm sorry"

And those that are suffering
not being able to say "I'm sorry"

Those kinds of people

if they apologize,
it makes everyone happy

And the world becomes a peaceful place

I get it

So you started the Apology Center

I didn't expect it to get this big

Apologizing for the country

Carry on

I'm Prime Minister Otoya

Sorry to bother you, I...

I know who you are

We've already apologized
many times for this

I know that I'm the
one that has to go

I should have done something earlier

By the way...

Yes, sir

I heard you know of an apology
greater than the Dogeza

Is there one?

There is

Nothing?

Nothing

There's nothing like that

What country doesn't
respond to Dogeza?

Ma'am

You're the lady that works
with Mr. Kuroshima, right?

I am

I know it would've

been better if I apologized
earlier...on that day

I was young...

I was kinda...

trying to be tough

I'm sorry

Hey...

apologizing to her
doesn't do anything

I know

We saw your webpage

You know a method
greater than Dogeza

What?

Could you teach it to my dad?

Why Dogeza?

That's not it

It's their greatest insult

That's right

As General Bataar!

This is bad

In Japanese, this
sounds really strange

In Mantanese, it is an apology

Really? This?
It really is?

For example, this one?

What?

This...

is something I saw on
a movie when I was little

I will not return to Japan!

But the pronunciation...

I can't say this

This is the scene where

the General apologizes to
the people from his heart

All of Mantan will weep!

But Japanese people will laugh

They'll fall down laughing

Why are you crying?

Ready?

I'm only doing this once

So watch closely

Okay, I'll say it

But make sure it has subtitles
when it opens in Japan

Very hairy armpits!

Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Walking Bobo

June eyeglasses

No!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

"Bataar's Hill"

Very hairy

armpits

What's with the arms?
Are you mocking me?

Because...

Because I'm saying "hairy armpits"

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Walking Bobo

June eyeglasses

No!

Very hairy armpits!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Okay!
That's it!

Really?

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

That's enough, sir

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

On behalf of my nation...

I apologize from
the bottom of my heart

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

Very hairy armpits!
Statue of Liberty!

This is the wonder of the Dogeza

"The Apology King"