Telling Lies in America (1997) - full transcript

(gentle music)

(thunder cracks)

- [Billy] Mistake on the lake.

- [Man] You say somethin'?

- That's what they call
this place, isn't it?

Mistake on the lake?

- [Man] Hell no, they called it

the best location in the nation.

- They're lyin'.

(neon signs buzz)

Hey hey, what do you say.



Watch your ass, I'm
coming your way.

Screw it.

(people chattering)

(cars honking)

Good mornin', darlin'.

Ain't you just as sweet
as a Georgia peach.

I'm here to see Cecil Simms.

- Do you have an
appointment with Mr. Simms?

- You got a pair
of titties in there

or are you just
playin' dress up?

- Mr. Simms?

- Hey there, Cecil.

You look good.

- You look like shit, Dwayne.



(Billy laughs)

What happened to Baltimore?

- My ratings were good.

- Your ratings were always good.

- Well, you know I did a
record hop with Little Richard.

- Little Richard got you canned?

- Well, it's a real white
town, it was a real black show.

You know I like
that sweaty collar

and dirty fingernail
music, Cecil.

- Are you telling
me you got fired

just because you
like race music?

- You gonna make
me ask you, man?

Jesus Christ, Cecil, I mean
I tried everywhere else.

Des Moines, I even tried
goddamn Des Moines.

I even tried Kalamazoo.

Don't make me go
through this, man.

- Seven to 12, two to five.

I'll pay you what
you got in Baltimore.

Weekends.

- Thank you, Cecil.

- Don't thank me.

Just don't try to cheat me.

- I ain't gonna cheat you, man.

I know the rules.

- Good.

What's your hep
cat name gonna be?

Billy Starlight?

Billy Thunder?

Billy Magic.

Billy Magic.

- I ain't been Billy
Magic since Fort Worth.

- Clean yourself up.

Get yourself a decent
haircut, will ya?

Buy a new suit for Christ sake.

Get a tan, you gotta have a tan.

- It's winter, Cecil.

- Buy a lamp.

- Hey, what about a kid?

- Hire one, just make
sure he's the right kid.

- The Billy Magic
WHK High School

Hall of Fame presents, ta-da.

- Duh.

Duh, duh!

Why can't I say it?

Rock and roll is the goal
designed to give you soul.

- [Billy] This is WHK Cleveland.

Are you ready for
your Billy Magic WHK

High School Hall of
Fame winner for the day?

To elect someone to
the Billy Magic WHK

High School Hall of
Fame send us a postcard

with the name of your
favorite high school student.

You cannot vote for yourself.

All entries must be signed.

All signatures will
be authenticated by--

♪ WHK caller radio ♪

- [Billy] In the Billy Magic WHK

High School Hall of Fame today

from Cleveland Latin
High School, Kevin Boyle.

♪ My heart is crying, crying ♪

♪ Lonely teardrops ♪

(Karchy speaking in
foreign language)

- English.

Please, teach the English.

- What are you doin', Pop?

- I study test.

- You should be asleep.

- I know.

I got to be American citizen.

We together.

You study for test.

You gonna be American
citizen, too.

- Don't worry about it, Pop.

- Don't worry, worry.

I worry!

Want a pork chop, Karchy?

- [Karchy] For breakfast?

I already got an RC Cola.

- RC Cola, for breakfast?

We have been in this
country seven years.

I no understand that thing.

Your tie, let me fix it.

- [Billy] That takes
care of everybody.

Everybody walking, riding,
sitting down, talking--

- See ya, Pop.

- See ya, see ya.

Take a easy.

- [Karchy] Take it easy, Pop.

- Take a easy, see ya.

- [Karchy] Bye, Papa.

♪ Boppin' at the
high school hop ♪

♪ Shakin' at the
high school hop ♪

♪ Movin' at the
high school hop ♪

♪ Rockin' at the
high school hop ♪

♪ Well, everybody hoppin' ♪

♪ Everybody boppin' ♪

♪ Boppin' at the
high school hop ♪

♪ Come on little baby, let's
rock a little bit tonight ♪

♪ Let's get with it, sugar,
let's shake it up tonight ♪

♪ Well my heart's
a beatin' rhythm ♪

♪ And my feet are moving
smooth and light ♪

♪ Boppin' at the
high school hop ♪

♪ Boppin' at the
high school hop ♪

- Hey.

Hang loose, mother goose, your
ride's drippin' tomato juice.

What, it's funny.

- You're a dipshit, Croak.

- It's funny.

(students chattering)

He got into the hall of fame.

- I heard.

See ya.

- Hey, Karch Ass. (laughs)

(bell rings)

- [Father Norton] Will
you turn that thing off?

I want to speak
with you, Mr. Jonas.

You got a C in history.

A D in sociology.

A D in physics.

- I got a B in English.

- [Father Norton]
What will you do

when you graduate, Mr. Jonas?

- [Karchy] I don't know.

- [Father Norton] Your
father has sacrificed

so much to send you
here, and all for what?

You think you'll be able to get

a scholarship to go to college?

- [Karchy] I don't know.

- Well, I do.

The answer is no.

Do you think you can
even get into college

with your grades, Mr. Jonas?

- I can get into
Cleveland State.

Anybody can get into
Cleveland State.

- You know your
father doesn't have

the money to send you
to Cleveland State.

So if you can't get
into college on your own

and you can't get a scholarship,

what will you do with
yourself, Mr. Jonas?

- Maybe I'll join the
priesthood, Father.

- Congratulations.
- Just get her number.

- Nice job, Kevin.
- Hey, Kevin.

- It's not a big deal.
- Kev, good job.

- [Boy] Hey guys,
how's it going?

- [Amos] He's got this band gig.

Blood Smith and the Tenderloins.

- Man.
- Working up his tunes.

- [Croak] Blood Smith
and the Tenderloins?

- What's wrong with that?

- Sounds good to me, Amos.

- Well, who's Blood Smith?

- Well, that's me.

- You heard that new Pat
Boone song, it's neat.

- Pat Boone, neat?

Oh Jesus, Stephen.

- [Croak] At least it
ain't no shine music.

- Look man, I love you from
the heart of my bottom.

- [Croak] So, what's
the matter with you?

- Father Norton wants me
to join the priesthood.

- [Croak] Huh?

- He thinks I can be Bishop.

- A bishop?

- What about Pope?

Don't you want to be Pope, too?

- I don't think so.

(crickets chirping)
(car honks)

- [Henry] Hey, please be
careful with the eggs.

For Christ's sakes we got
a lot of broken eggs here.

- I'm not breakin'
the eggs, Henry.

- Alls I'm sayin' is be careful

while you're bringing 'em in.

- [Karchy] Oh, please
take it easy, Henry.

- Henry, why don't you
give the kid a break?

- Yeah, I'm just kinda trying
to run a business here, so.

- [Man] We need a hand.

- Hey, Diney.
- Mm-hmm.

- You ever read
Huckleberry Finn?

It's great, I read
it about six times.

Everything's in there.

Life and stuff.
- Mm.

- You didn't read it?

- It's for little kids.

- No, it isn't.

I'll bring it for you.

It's a fun book.

- What is this, a social hour?

Jonas, you're taking all night.

Come on, unload the
truck, it's out there.

- Hey Karchy, I'll help ya.

- [Karchy] I got this
scholarship, didn't I tell ya?

Princeton, you've
heard of it, right?

- [Diney] Let's just
get the damn eggs.

- I think I want to be a writer.

I haven't written nothing yet.

One of these days
I'm going to start.

- [Diney] Mm-hmm.

- [Karchy] I'm gonna
be in the Billy Magic

WHK High School
Hall of Fame, too.

- [Diney] Mm-hmm.

- [Karchy] And now,
in the Billy Magic

WHK High School Hall of Fame,

from Cleveland Latin High
School, Karchy Jonas.

So when you gonna go
out with me, Diney?

How many times I gotta ask?
- Hey, watch the eggs.

For Christ sakes, will you
please just watch the eggs?

- [Announcer] The shipment
from Toledo is in.

- You wanna go out with me?

I'll go out with you.

- He's a baby, Diney.

What do you want to
go out with him for?

- You will?
- Yeah.

- [Karchy] When?

- When you get into the
hall of fame, that's when.

- Hall of fame.

Hall of fame?

Diney, the kid don't
even play ball.

♪ Willie and Millie
got married last fall ♪

♪ They had a little Willie
Junior and that ain't all ♪

♪ Well, the baby got famous
in his crib, you see ♪

♪ By doing the hand jive on TV ♪

♪ Hand jive, hand
jive, hand jive ♪

♪ Doing that crazy hand jive ♪

(crowd cheers)

- All right, Cleveland
Latin High School.

Hey, hey, what do you say?

Billy Boy's comin' your way.

Rock and roll, this is gold.

Designed to give you soul, baby.

Now this next tune is gonna
put shivereens down your spine.

From the Billy Magic hop shop,

here comes Little
Anthony and the Imperials

doin' Shimmy Shimmy Ko-Ko Bop.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Shimmy shimmy ko-ko bop ♪

♪ Shimmy shimmy bop ♪

♪ Shimmy shimmy ko-ko bop ♪

♪ Shimmy shimmy bop ♪

♪ Sittin' in a native hut ♪

♪ All alone and blue ♪

♪ Sittin' in a native hut ♪

♪ Wonderin' what to do ♪

♪ Along came a native girl ♪

♪ Did a native dance ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

♪ Like in paradise ♪

♪ Put me in a trance, going ♪

♪ Shimmy shimmy ko-ko bop ♪

- What are you going to do,

stand around all
night watching him?

Come on, let's go
get something to eat.

(wistful music)

Look at that Caddy.

Man, driving that thing would
be more fun than doing it.

- That's him.

I bet he doesn't take
shit from no one.

I'm going to drive
one of them some day.

- In your dreams.

- I'm going to be him someday.

No shit from no one.

Duh.

Duh.

Shit.

Duh, duh.

Double shit.

That's duh truth.

Duh, truth, duh.

Duh, duh.

That's duh truth.

That's duh truth.

- [Billy] Hey there, chappie,

hello, chicks, it's a gone deal,

but I'm on a reel so stand
by me the patches go,

but first here's the word
from this rockin' bird.

The winner of the WHK
High School Hall of Fame

today from Cleveland
Latin High, Karchy Jonas.

- [Karchy] That's me, that's me!

- Jeez, they even
pronounced your name right.

- Sure they did,
why wouldn't they?

- Everybody's talking about you.

- Well, what are they saying?

- They're just jealous.

- Sure they are.

- There's a telephone call for
you in the office, Mr. Jonas.

- There is?

- [Croak] Billy Magic
called you here?

Can I come down there with you?

- Nah, he said he wanted
to talk to me alone.

Maybe we all can go get
a hamburger some time.

- Maybe we can ride
in his Cadillac.

- [Karchy] Sure.

- Oh, God.

- Hey, let me see
your radio, Jon-ass.

- Get in there, man.
- Get it.

- Let me see it, asshole.
(radio clatters)

(boys snickering)
- What are you gonna do now?

- [Kevin] Come on, punk.

(boys yelling)

- Rip his head off, Kevin!
- Get him!

- Come on!

- Oh-ho!
- Yeah, boy.

- Jerk.

- White trash.
- Loser.

- [Croak] You okay?

(gentle music)

- Last name, uh-huh.
- And the winner of

the WHK High School

Hall of Fame is--
- That's me.

- Karchy Jonas from--
- Hold on, can I help you?

- I'm Karchy Jonas, I'm
here to see Billy Magic.

- He's on the air.

- I know, I never miss his show.

- Well, why don't you sit over
there until he's finished.

- Okay, thanks.
- Sure.

Yeah, okay.

Uh-huh, what was
your first name?

Okay, 5 p.m., uh-huh.

And what's that number?

You can go back now.

Right around the corner.

("Love You So" by Ron Holden)

♪ My darling, I love you so ♪

♪ More than you'll ever know ♪

♪ Each night I kneel
and say a prayer ♪

♪ Hoping when I wake
you'll still be there ♪

♪ I need your love
with all my heart ♪

♪ Promise me we'll never part ♪

♪ We have a love
that's sure to be ♪

♪ True love for all eternity ♪

- Caught you.

Come on in.

♪ No matter what I may do ♪

♪ Remember my love is true ♪

♪ We have a love
that's sure to be ♪

- [Billy] Jesus,
what happened to you?

- I fell off the bus.

- Yeah, it must
have been speedin'.

Sit down, kid.

All right, that's Ron
Holden with I Love You So.

And you know I do, baby.

WHK Fender Bender Chrome
Bumper Thumper time is 3:55,

and it's time for Dave Buckel
and the Action Central News,

brought to you by Gruen watches.

Gruen watches can be found
at Higbee's Department Store.

Gruen watches, terrific time
pieces for him or for her.

Gruen watches make
the perfect gift.

Your girlfriend mad at you,
why not give her a good Gruen?

So what the hell kind
of name is Karchy?

- Hungarian.

It's Charles, I hate Charles.

- How about Chucky?

- [Karchy] I like Karchy better.

- [Billy] What
about your parents?

- My mom, she died in the camps.

- Camp?
- Refugee camps.

We were in refugee camps
before we come over here.

- What's your daddy do?

- He's a doctor.

- Yeah, right.

Here's your certificate, kid.

Tell me somethin', kid.

These postcards, you sent
them in yourself, didn't you?

- What?

- They're all
signed the same way.

- No, they're not.
- Yes, they are.

What'd you do, forge
these kids' signatures?

- What are you, a
handwriting expert?

- (laughs) What if I was
to go down to this school,

talk to the kids whose
names are on these cards,

what do you think they'd say?

- Go talk to 'em.

- You lie good, kid.

Stick around.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
Billy Boy's comin' your way.

Where we goin'?

Someplace we can talk.

You just goin' to stand there
or are you gonna get in?

(car honks)

How's the eye?

- It's fine.

- Yeah, it looks real good.

So, you ever ridden in
a Cadillac car before?

- Sure, lots of times.

- You want to drive?
- What?

- Know how to drive, don't you?

- I don't have a license.

- Yeah but you've driven
before, haven't you?

- Sure, lots of times.

- Where we goin'?

- [Billy] Ho Jo's on Carnegie.

We're gonna get us
some filet mignon.

You like filet
mignon, don't you?

- Sure, it's one
of my favorites.

- Yeah, you're a real killer
stud, aren't you, Chucky?

(soft classical music)

How's your filet?

- It's great.

- I think I'm gonna go down

to Cleveland Latin High School

and tell the principal
about these postcards.

- I got nothin' to hide.

- I think you're
slicker than two snakes

screwing in a barrel of
snot, that's what I think.

You want a job, Slick?

- [Karchy] I got a job.

I work at the West Side
Market every night.

- Oh, okay, never mind.

- What kind of job?

- Help me out down
at the station.

Afternoons after school.

Record hops on weekends.

$100 a week, more sometimes.

- $100 a week?

- More sometimes.

- Why do you want me to do it?

- I don't know.

I feel bad about the way I
gave you a hard time before.

I didn't mean to.

- It's okay.

When would I start?

- Tomorrow afternoon.

It's just one thing though.

- What?

- You got to tell me man to man,

you sent those
postcards in yourself.

You forged those kids
signatures, didn't you?

- No, that's the truth.

- (laughs) Screw it.

You got yourself a job, Slick.

- Look, it's the certificate.

Don't believe me?

Billy Magic, WHK High
School Hall of Fame.

Karchy Jonas.

- You really did it.

- That's the truth.

So how about it?

- You ever been out
on a date before?

- Sure, lots of times.

- Okay.

- Okay?

Okay.

Hi.

- Hi, Chuck, right?

Billy's told me all about you.

He's waiting for you.

- And that was Mule Skinner
Blues by the Fendermen.

Those boys who play down south,

you know what they
call those boys,

the band goes with music
'cause they got no ear.

Great train on the rail!

You and me, we gonna wail.

It's 80 WHK degrees outside.

Looks like we got
ourselves another burner

but Magic's gonna cool
you down right now,

baby, with some
ear conditioning.

Here comes Ike and Tina Turner.

♪ Darling ♪

♪ Yes, Tina ♪

♪ It's time to get next to me ♪

♪ Honey, that was my plan
from the very beginning ♪

- Come on in, Chucky.

Lesson number one,
something's playing

on this turntable you
cue one up on this one.

Just drop the needle down.

Give me about two inches
before the start of the song.

(phone rings)
Get that.

Say, the Magic Man.

Get it, will ya?

- Hello, the Magic Man.

Catherine.

- Call her back.

- He'll call you back.

Thanks, bye.

- All right, first
thing Monday morning

you call the record stores,

you get the list
of their top 40.

You write the list down.

You give the list to me.

You can call from my office.

(phone rings)
Get the phone,

say the Magic Man.

- The Magic Man.

- Rosemary.
- Rosemary, ooh.

I woke up that morning,
I had to take a piss.

I look down, all I
see was teeth marks.

Call her back.

- He'll call you back.

Thanks, bye.

- Talk to them
nice man, call 'em

sweetie or honey or something.

I might want her to
chew me up again.

Here you go, here's
your first week's pay.

Try that jacket on
there, see if it fits.

Oh, liquid courage.

Hey, looks good, man.

Now you got yourself
a lucky suit.

- [Istvan] How come he pick you?

- [Karchy] He didn't
pick me, Papa.

I was in the High
School Hall of Fame.

The school votes.

- [Istvan] School pick you?

- Yeah.

- And why this
Magic give you job?

- I don't know, I
guess he likes me.

- How much time you work?

- Two, three hours after school.

Weekends sometimes.

- How much he pay?

Oh, this is big money.

How are you gonna study?

- I can still study, Pop.

We need the money.

- Seem too easy.

- This is America, Papa.

Hey, hey, what do you say?

Karchy Jonas is comin' your way.

How are you, darlin'?

How you doin', darlin'?

- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.

- [Croak] I got
some stuff for ya.

Jeez, where did you get that?

- [Karchy] Billy gave it to me.

- [Croak] What's that stuff
you're puttin' in your hair?

- [Karchy] It's the
same stuff Billy uses.

- [Croak] Look, penicillin,
you take two now, get laid.

You ain't gonna get no diseases.

Take it.

- [Karchy] French ticklers.

I know all about that stuff.

- Yeah, well you
don't know about this.

- What is it?
- Spanish fly.

You put in her drink
and she'll be ready

to do the door knobs.

- Door knobs?

- Just put it in your pocket.

(car honking)

(Karchy knocks)

- [Diney] Coming.

- How are you, darling?

- I am not your darling.

I hate red.

What did you do to your hair?

- I, uh, I combed it back.

- [Diney] I liked it
better the other way.

- So I figured we'd go down to
Howard Johnson's on Carnegie.

- I'm not going to no motel.

- They have a restaurant there.

A mean filet mignon.

You want to catch a cab?

- No, no, I want to take a bus.

And I think we should
go someplace close,

'cause I don't want to
stay out too late, okay?

- Sure.

So, I don't know
what I'm going to do.

I mean, I could go to
Princeton with a scholarship

or I could stay
at WHK and become

a disc jockey in
a couple of years.

- You could never
be a disc jockey.

- Sure I could,
what do you mean?

- Say the.

- What?

- Say the.

- Duh.

I can learn to say
it, I practice.

Steak's really good, huh?

I love filet mignon, don't you?

I have it all the time.

- Why do you gotta blow
smoke all the time?

- Where you going?
- To the bathroom.

♪ You got the magic touch ♪

♪ It makes me glow so much ♪

- How do you feel?

- What do you mean
how do I feel?

- How was your dinner?

- I feel like I got to throw up.

- What?

- I feel sick.

- Maybe it was the milk shake.

- It didn't taste sour.

- Are you going to be okay?

I'll come in with you.

- [Diney] No, no,
it's all right.

- Come on, I just wanna make
sure you're gonna be okay.

(Diney coughs)
Are you okay?

♪ You got the magic touch, ooh ♪

- Diney.
♪ It makes me glow so much ♪

♪ It cast a spell,
it rings a bell ♪

♪ The magic touch ♪

♪ Oh when I feel your charm ♪

- Croak.

♪ It's like a four alarm ♪

♪ You make me thrill so much ♪

- [Croak] Here, here,
let me feel her pulse.

- Who's he?

- It's okay, he's a doctor.

- [Diney] Oh, shut up, Karchy.

- She's not gonna die, is she?

- No, no, I've seen that
color before they die.

- I'm not gonna die.

- Isn't there an antidote?

- What antidote?

- I didn't say anything
about an antidote.

- For what?

What did you give me?

What did you give
me, Karchy, tell me!

- [Karchy] Spanish fly.

- You--

- It was guaranteed, this
wasn't supposed to happen.

- Get out of here.

Get out of here.

Get out of here!

Get out! (sobs)

♪ And now I've
learned, I can return ♪

♪ The magic touch ♪

♪ Here I go reeling ♪

- Come on, she's gonna be okay.

- I really like her, Croak.

Why did I do such
a stupid thing?

- You coming?

♪ I didn't know too much ♪

♪ And then I felt your touch ♪

♪ And now I've
learned, I can return ♪

♪ The magic touch ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

(water splashes)

- Diney, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Diney.

(students chattering)

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

It's been about a month
since my last confession.

- Continue.

- I lied a couple
of times and stuff.

But what I want to talk about.

- Continue.

- This girl, I
went out with her.

- And?

- And I put a Spanish
fly in her milkshake.

- You did what, Mr. Jonas?

- I did, Father.

But I like her.

- Do you have any idea what
you've done, Mr. Jonas?

- Yes, Father, and I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to hurt her.

- What happened to her?

You're worthless, Mr. Jonas.

- I'm not.

- You're worthless.

You're worthless.

What happened to her?

- Well, I don't
remember much, Father.

But when I got up the next
morning to take a piss,

I looked down and all I
could see was teeth marks.

She nearly chewed it half off.

♪ Ran in the water,
heart full of fear ♪

♪ There in the breakers
I saw her near ♪

♪ Reach for me, darling,
held her to me ♪

♪ Stole her away
from the angry sea ♪

♪ I looked at the sea
and it seemed to say ♪

♪ I took your baby,
from you away ♪

♪ My heart cried out,
she's mine to keep ♪

♪ I saved my baby from
an endless sleep ♪

♪ Endless sleep, endless sleep ♪

♪ Endless sleep, endless sleep ♪

- So what do you think, Billy?

- I don't know,
maybe, who knows.

This here is Chucky Jones.

Chucky, Danny Hogan,
Timmy Morelli.

- How you doin', Chucky?

- [Billy] Chucky's my man.

- I'll play it again for ya.

- That's all right, Danny,
I heard it four times.

- Hey, Billy, look.

We're breakin'
out in Pittsburgh.

We're top 40 in Philly.

We break it here, we
get a shot at Cashbox.

- Well, I'll give
another listen, see
if it goes down on me.

Anything top 40, it's
gotta go down on me.

(Danny chuckles)

Boys, I gotta get
back in my cage.

Tell you what,
why don't you talk

to Chucky about it and
see what he thinks.

- You want to hear it, kid?

- Sure.

("Endless Sleep")

- Here.

Make sure you give it to Billy.

Go on, take it.

- What is it?

- It's a birthday present.

It was nice meeting you, kid.

(harmonica music)

- [Billy] You're looking
mighty slick, Slick.

- I didn't know it
was your birthday.

- What?
- Happy birthday.

Too bad no one else
got you anything.

I'll give you my gift
tomorrow, I didn't know.

- Yeah, that's okay, Chucky.

You can buy me a
beer after work.

You drink beer, don't you?

- Sure, lots of times.

- Listen to this, man,
now this is music.

♪ Please tell me you love me ♪

- Yes, sir.

Smirnoff vodkas for me
and a beer for my man.

Oh lord, the things they
can do with the potato.

You got that Mary Lou's phone
number, man, let me have it.

I wanna give her
a call later on.

You want to come along and get
sloppy seconds be my guest.

You got a girlfriend?

- [Karchy] Mm-hmm.

- You done the nasty yet?

Made a love connection?

- Sure, lots--
- Lots of times. (laughs)

That's my Chucky, man.

Hey listen, we got that Hop
at the armory coming up.

I want you to get over there

and make sure the
floor is cleared

because I'm not going
to be folding no chairs.

Here, let me give you a bonus.

Here's a dead president for ya.

Save up for that Cadillac car.

- You must be a millionaire
being a disc jockey.

- You want to be a
disc jockey, man?

- No, I can't.

- Why not?
- I can't talk English.

- You talk English all right.

- No, it's the Hungarian.

I can't say duh.

My tongue, I can't get it right.

- Try puttin' a
rubber band on it.

- I never thought of that.

- Listen, Slick,
you know you can do

anything you put your mind to.

I mean you got into
the High School

Hall of Fame, didn't you?

- Hello, Karchy.

Out so late again?

- Hiya, Pop.

I was just with Billy.

- [Istvan] I'm Karchy's father.

- Doctor Istvan Jonas.

- Right.

- How you doin'?

The name's Billy Magic.

You got a good
kid here in Slick.

- Who is Slick?

- That's me, Pop.

- What it mean, Slick?

- [Billy] Oh, it
just means he's cool.

- Cool?

He cold?

He no cold.

- Jesus Christ, Pop, you know
that's not what it means.

- [Billy] No, no, it just
means I like him, that's all.

- Oh good, good.

- Hey, they must
work you pretty hard

at the hospital there, Doc.

- Hospital?

Who's sick?

- Nobody's sick, Pop.

Come on, it's getting
late, Billy's got to go.

- See ya, see ya.

- Yeah, you take it
easy there, Doctor.

- Happy birthday, Billy.

- Hey, don't forget
about the rubber band.

- All right, I'll remember that.

Hey, Pop, I got 50 bucks today.

Hey, Pop, I'm going to be a
disc jockey in a couple years.

I'm gonna be just
like Billy Magic, Pop.

Duh.

Duh.

Duh.

Asshole.

- [Istvan] Asshole.

- Yeah, that's the truth.

- Good night, Slick, I love you.

- I love you too, Papa.

- Hey, big shot.

I hear we ain't good
enough for you no more.

- Hey, Diney, I bought
you Huckleberry Finn.

- [Henry] Ha, told
you he was a baby.

- How are you?
- Fine.

- You don't want to get
an ice cream cone, do you?

- [Henry] An ice cream cone.

- Henry's driving
me home, Karchy.

- You still owe me for
those eggs you broke.

- I didn't break no eggs.

- You cracked them.

- And now for all you sweet
young things out there.

You're all so sweet
and some young things.

Let me give you a little
Billy Magic piece of advice.

No matter what they say,
you're never too sweet

or too young to be in love.

So go ahead, ladies, just
grab that special guy

'cause this next dance is
gonna be chicks' choice.

Now let me introduce
you to my next guest.

You know, when they
talk about talent

and they talk about a voice,

this is the man
that they mention.

They say he's gonna be
bigger than Bobby Rydell.

Let me tell you
somethin', ladies,

from what I heard he already is.

Here he is right now
from South Philadelphia,

Pennsylvania, the Billy Magic

Pick to Click,
Mr. Timmy Morelli.

♪ The night was black,
rain falling down ♪

♪ Look for my baby,
she's nowhere around ♪

♪ Traced her footsteps
down to the shore ♪

♪ 'Fraid she's
gone forever more ♪

♪ I looked at the sea
and it seemed to say ♪

♪ I took your baby
from you away ♪

♪ I heard a voice
cryin' in the deep ♪

♪ Come join me, baby,
in my endless sleep ♪

- Looks like Billy
liked the song.

- All you got to do
is get his attention.

- You get him another
happy birthday card?

- What are you, a wise guy, kid?

- No.

♪ That's why her
footsteps ran to the sea ♪

♪ That's why my baby
has gone from me ♪

♪ I looked at the sea
and it seemed to say ♪

♪ I took your baby
from you away ♪

- As soon as my man Chucky
loads that car we hit the road.

You see the blond back
there with the headlights?

- Yeah.
- She wants your steak.

- What?

- She's so hot you gonna
have to hose her down.

You got something for me?

- Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.

- First she thought you
were a little green,

then I told her what a
killer stud you were.

Let's get downtown.

("Down in Mexico"
by The Coasters)

♪ Down in the Mexicali ♪

♪ There's a crazy little
place that I know ♪

♪ Where the drinks are hard ♪

- How are you, darlin'?

♪ And the boss is
a cat named Joe ♪

♪ He wears a red bandana,
plays a blues piano ♪

♪ In a honky-tonk,
down in Mexico ♪

- Help yourself to my liquor,
but don't scratch my records.

♪ And a black mustache ♪

♪ In a honky-tonk,
down in Mexico ♪

♪ Well, the first
time that I saw him ♪

♪ He was sittin'
on a piano stool ♪

♪ I said, tell me dad,
when does the fun begin ♪

♪ He just winked his eye
and said, man, be cool ♪

- [Woman] How old are you?

- Seventeen.

♪ He wears a purple sash,
and a black mustache ♪

♪ In a honky-tonk,
down in Mexico ♪

(woman giggling)

- Don't be scared.

- [Karchy] I'm not.

♪ Around her waist she
wore three fishnets ♪

♪ She started dancing
with the castanets ♪

♪ I didn't know just
what to expect ♪

- [Woman] Oh!

♪ She threw her arms
around my neck ♪

♪ We started dancing
all around the floor ♪

♪ And then she did a
dance I never saw before ♪

♪ So if you're south
of the border ♪

♪ I mean down in Mexico ♪

♪ And you want to get straight ♪

♪ Man, don't hesitate ♪

♪ Just look up a cat named Joe ♪

- [Woman] Unzip me.

♪ In a honky-tonk,
down in Mexico ♪

♪ He wears a purple sash,
and a black mustache ♪

♪ In a honky-tonk,
down in Mexico ♪

♪ Come with me to the border,
south of the border, that is ♪

♪ In Mexico, yeah,
that's right, Mexico ♪

♪ You can get your
kicks in Mexico ♪

♪ Come with me
baby, come with me ♪

- [Woman] You're very gentle.

- Is that wrong?

- [Woman] No, no, that's good.

- He's gonna fall in
love with you, darlin'.

- Night.

- Where's she going?

- I'll see you in
the morning, kid.

Take my car, pick me up.

- Thanks.

- Don't mention it.

(upbeat music)

(car honks)

- I did it!

- Have you gone screwy,
what's the matter with you?

Holy Jesus, look at that car.

- I got laid.

- Would you be quiet?

Wait, where you going?

- Oh, I'm all burned out.

Come on, let's get goin',
we got 20 minutes to air.

So how'd you like her?

Ha ha ha, he liked her.

The kid liked her.

Yeah, you better have liked her.

She cost me a dick and a leg.

- What?

- Paid her, man.

She's a vice doll.

Oh grow up, Chucky.

It don't matter how you get
it as long as you get it.

But you know that
already don't you, Slick?

- [Croak] So how was it?

I gotta know.

I want to know what I'm in for.

- She said I was very gentle.

- Gentle?

You're not supposed to be
gentle, I read about that.

- Oh, Jesus.

I got to stop and talk to her.

- What do you want
to talk to her for?

Come on, let's get out of here.

- [Karchy] Just wait right here.

Hey, Diney!

- [Croak] Karch,
where you going?

- [Karchy] Diney.

Hey, Diney, where you going?

- [Diney] To the laundromat.

- [Karchy] I can drive you.

- [Diney] I can walk.

- I'm not going to
hurt you or nothing.

You want to go get
an ice cream cone?

He's got a guilty conscience.

- How come you don't?

- I do.

- I don't want nothing to drink.

- [Karchy] Are you done?

- [Diney] Mm-hmm.

("Lonely Teardrops"
by Jackie Wilson)

- [Karchy] So, you read
that book I gave you?

- [Diney] Mm-hmm.

- You read Huckleberry Finn?

- Mm-hmm, I liked it.

You really want to be a writer?

- I want to be something,
that's the truth.

- They can probably teach
you to be one at Princeton.

- I'm not really
going to Princeton.

- You're not?

- I make things up sometimes.

Listen, will you drive
somewhere with me?

- What for?

- I want to show the car off.

I want to show you off.

- Why do you gotta
show off so much?

- 'Cause I ain't got
that much to show.

♪ Just give me another chance ♪

♪ For our romance ♪

- Let's go.

- [Karchy] Can you
move closer to me?

- [Diney] What for?

- [Karchy] It looks
better that way.

♪ That you've been gone away ♪

♪ You know my heart
does nothing but burn ♪

(car honks)

- [Karchy] Hey, Kevin!

♪ My pillow's never dry
of lonely teardrops ♪

- [Blind Kid] Wish
I could see it.

- [Amos] There you go again.

- I do, it feels real nice.

- Collection time,
ladies and gentles.

- Hey, we finished that tune,
you want to come check it out?

- Sure, when?

- Can you bring Mr. Magic?

- I don't know,
I'll talk to him.

- I mean, you're such good
friends with him and all.

- You better watch
your fancy coat.

- I'm sorry, Karch Ass.

- Man, hit him.

- You want to hit me, Karch Ass?

Come on, hit me.

- [Father Norton]
What's going on here?

- It was an accident.

He bumped into me, Father.

- Bullshit!

- Please don't
act as if you were

in your own home, Mr. Smith.

- I'll pay for the
dry cleaning, Father.

- Send your bill to
Mr. Boyle, Mr. Jonas.

- [Karchy] He said the garage.

- [Billy] This sure is
the dark side of town.

This kid better be a real
good friend of yours.

♪ She comes walkin'
down the street ♪

♪ Lookin' good enough to eat ♪

♪ Big brown eyes and wavy hair ♪

♪ That's my baby, medium rare ♪

♪ Medium rare ♪

♪ Medium rare ♪

♪ Medium rare ♪

♪ Come around
'bout supper time ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna
get me a jug of wine ♪

♪ My mama's callin'
but I don't care ♪

♪ I'm-a go see medium rare ♪

♪ When she wears
that little skirt ♪

♪ All the fellas
start to flirt ♪

♪ They say, hey,
what's under there ♪

♪ Under there ♪

♪ If you're in my neighborhood ♪

♪ Lookin' around
for somethin' good ♪

♪ If you see her,
stop and stare ♪

♪ But don't you dare
touch medium rare ♪

♪ Medium rare ♪

♪ No don't you dare ♪

♪ She's my baby, medium rare ♪

What do you think?

- I think you could
have it out in a week.

Another three weeks
you'd be top 10.

I can get you a record deal.

You'll need some
clothes, though.

I'll give you the money.

- What?

Why are you doing this for us?

- I like your music, man.

It's hungry, full of spit.

Partners?

- Partners.

- [Billy] All right, Chucky
man, I'll see you tomorrow.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

- [Karchy] See ya, Billy.

- [Henry] We're closed.

- I thought maybe I
could walk you home.

- Yeah, well, I'm
actually driving her home.

- I kind of feel
like walking, Henry.

- Suit yourself.

(gentle music)

- [Karchy] He's gonna
get him a record deal.

Thinks he can be top 10.

- [Diney] You're not blowing
smoke again, are you?

- [Karchy] I'm serious,
it's a great song.

You'll hear it on the radio.

Really, stuff like
that can happen.

- [Diney] In books.

- In real life.

All you got to do is believe.

- All I gotta do
is stay on my feet

and not piss Henry off too much.

- Screw Henry, he's a nook.

- Don't talk to me like that.

- I'm sorry.

- And he is not.

- He is, too.

You don't really
like him do you?

- [Diney] He wants
me to marry him.

- [Karchy] He wants
you to marry him?

He's a dip.

- [Diney] He's not such a dip.

- [Karchy] You're not
going to do it, are you?

- [Diney] I don't think so.

- [Karchy] Good.

- [Diney] My feet hurt.

- [Karchy] You want
some ice for them?

- [Diney] (laughs) No.

I gotta feed my goldfish.

- [Karchy] I'll see
you later, Diney.

- [Diney] Night, Karchy.

- [Karchy] Good night.

(students chattering)

(moves into uplifting music)

- Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

It's been three days
since my last confession.

The reason I'm
here again, Father,

you know what it is.

I just can't stop doing it.

I get these thoughts and I
can't keep my hands off it.

Father, are you there, Father?

- [Karchy] Mm-hmm.

- I know you said I was
gonna go blind, Father.

I don't want to go blind.

Last night I did it three times.

I'm doin' it so much it
hurts when I touch it.

And I want to kill my dad again.

I can't take it anymore.

I hate him.

I hate him, Father.

I just can't stand
watching him hit my mom.

- [Father Norton] Mr.
Jonas, get out of there!

Take that off.

How dare you!

Out, just get out.

You've gone too far
this time, too far.

What he did was a
sacrilege, Mr. Jonas.

- His name is Dr. Jonas.

- Karchy, please.

- I'm suspending him from school

for the 10 days that
are left, Dr. Jonas.

What I really should do
is not let him graduate.

- No, no, please, please.

- We'll give him his diploma.

But he can't come to the
graduation ceremonies.

- [Istvan] Thank you.

- We'll mail the diploma here.

- [Istvan] How kind
of you, thank you.

- I never want to see you again.

- [Istvan] Why do
you do such trouble?

Now I cannot go to
see you graduate.

I come to America for this.

- [Karchy] I don't care,
I hate the place, Pop.

- [Karchy] This is good school.

Rich sons go to this school.

- [Karchy] I'm not a rich son.

- [Istvan] I pay lots of money.

I work at the mill, so what?

You learn same things
like rich sons.

- This place is different, Pop.

This ain't like the old country.

- How different?

- This place ain't fair.

- What do you mean?

You will be citizen soon.

Maybe you will be
okay, you pass test.

You'll work hard.

You'll study hard.

You will pass test.

You cannot fail.

You will be citizen.

You got to be citizen.

I help.

You make me hurt.

♪ That's my baby, medium rare ♪

♪ Medium rare, medium rare ♪

- Hey, demo sounds
good, doesn't it?

'Course I'll make sure it
gets plenty of air time.

That way the record company

won't take it out
back and burn it.

What's the matter with you?

- I got thrown out of school.

(Billy laughs)

- What difference
does it make, man,

they're still gonna let
you graduate, right?

Still gonna give
you your diploma.

- Right.

- So what you going to do
next year, go to college?

- I don't know.

- Why don't you go to
broadcasting school?

- Duh.

- Aw, when I first started out

I came from this little
town called Del Rio, Texas.

Talked like my mouth
was full of cow chips

and cream gravy, sayin'
howdy all the time.

They fixed me up in
broadcasting school.

I developed my own slanguage.

- I don't have the money
for broadcasting school.

- Well, I can talk to some
guys, I'll get you in.

Hey, did you try that
rubber band on the tongue?

What happened?

- It hurt, that's what happened.

(Billy laughs)

♪ If you're in my neighborhood ♪

♪ Lookin' around
for somethin' good ♪

♪ If you see her,
stop and stare ♪

♪ But don't you dare
touch medium rare ♪

♪ Medium rare ♪

♪ No, don't you dare
touch medium rare ♪

♪ Don't you dare
touch medium rare ♪

(crowd applauds)
(crowd cheers)

- All right, let's hear it

for Blood Smith and
the Tenderloins.

I love that song.

- Amos!

Almost missed you, man.

He's gonna make it
his pick to click.

You're gonna be a millionaire.

- He's going to be a
millionaire, not me.

- What do you mean?

Come on, Amos, you're
my friend, tell me.

- You think we friends?

Just 'cause we sit
at the same table?

Just 'cause nobody else
want nothing to do with us.

You're a chump, and I'm one too.

- What are you talking about?

- It's Mr. Magic,
he's taking 70%.

- [Karchy] What?

- It's in the record
contract, man.

He's gettin' 70%.

- For what?

- For writing it with me.

- He didn't write it with you.

- I guess 30% is
better than nothing.

- Where's Billy?

- You can't go in there,
he's got people with him.

- I need to talk to you.

- Well, come on in, Charles.

- You're Mr. Jonas, aren't you?

- These boys are
from the police.

They gonna ask us
a few questions.

Fire away, gentlemen.

We've got nothing to hide.

- So, Dwayne.

Have you ever taken any money

for playing a record on the air?

- Hell no.

- Have you ever
accepted any favors

for playing a record on the air?

- Hell no.

- [Detective] Never?

- Now, what is this?

You boys got something
to say, say it.

If you're going on a
fishin' expedition,

don't use my pecker.

- Has anybody ever given you
anything to give to Mr. Magic?

- What do you mean?

- Has anybody ever
given you any money

to give to Mr. Magic
for playing a record?

- No.

- Kid, you ever hear
the word payola?

These disc jockeys
making illegal deals

with the record companies to
play their songs on the radio.

Only they don't
report that money.

They're stealing that
money from Uncle Sam.

Millions of dollars.

Your Mr. Magic here is on
the receiving end of that.

- Oh, what is it with you guys?

You're shouting
down the wrong hole.

You can't do nothing
to him, he's 17.

He's a juvenile.

- I heard you
gentlemen were here.

Is there some sort of problem?

- No Cecil, I don't have a
problem, unless maybe they do.

Goddamn demons.

Came down on me when I
was in Savannah, too.

They couldn't find nothing
there and they went away.

Oh, hey.

I forgot to give you
your bonus, Slick.

- I don't want it.

- What's the matter, man?

Don't you want to
be a millionaire?

- I don't want it.

- Suit yourself.

- Amos told me.

- What did Amos tell you?

- About the record contract.

- Yeah, it's a good deal.

Takes more than
divine intervention
to make a hit record.

- It isn't fair.

- Now, you think
that boy could have

got himself a
contract without me?

Let me tell you something,

sepia music ain't
nothing without me.

You don't like it,
don't let the door

hit you in the ass
on your way out.

- What about the envelopes
Hogan had me give you?

- I don't remember no envelopes.

Come on, man, I told you, ain't
got nothing to worry about.

You're underage, they
can't do nothing to you.

You never gave me no
envelopes, you understand?

- What did you do it for?

You got a lot of money.

You got everything.

- Who, me?

I ain't got nothing, man.

I got two ex-wives
and four kids.

I got a leased Cadillac
and a rented apartment.

Everything you see is paid
for by the record promoters.

I've been in four
cities in five years,

I'm gonna be in
a whole lot more.

I ain't got a tin
can to shit in.

- [Istvan] Hello, Karchy,
someone here to see you.

- Hello, Mr. Jonas.

Why don't you take a seat?

We're here to tell you
about your Mr. Magic.

We checked him out, it
seems every place he works

he picks some boy about your
age to take his money for him.

That way no one can ever testify
that they gave him money.

You see, they gave
his kid money.

It's real cute.

He always picks a kid
real carefully, too.

He always makes sure he picks

some kid he knows
will lie for him.

- And the kids think
he's the greatest

thing since sliced bread anyway.

And he makes sure
he pays them good.

- How did you meet him, anyhow?

- He get diploma.

- [Detective] What
diploma was that?

- There.

- [Detective] Oh,
where'd you get this?

- Billy Magic Hall of Fame.

The students vote
for him and send

postcards, sign
names, very popular.

- [Detective] Cleveland Latin,

that's a rich kid's
school, isn't it?

- Very expensive, lots of money.

- [Detective] How'd you
get to be so popular?

Bunch of rich
kids, kid like you.

- You sent those postcards
in yourself, didn't you, son.

You forged the kids' names.

- Magic knew it.

He figured you'd
be perfect for him.

- That's why he
gave you the job.

- No, he's my
friend, he helped me.

- [Detective] Help with what?

- With all kinds of stuff.

- [Detective With
Mustache] He used you.

- [Detective] He used you, son.

- No, he didn't.

- [Detective] You took money
for him, didn't you, kid?

- No.

- Your father tells
us you're taking

your naturalization test soon,
isn't that right, Mr. Jonas?

- Yes, we will be
American citizen.

- [Detective With
Mustache] I hope you pass.

- What do you mean?

- [Detective With Mustache]
It's up to the judge.

What if he rejects you?

(flames whooshing)

(Karchy knocking)

- Listen, can I come in?

- [Diney] Karchy, it's late.

- I know.

I just want to talk
to you, please.

- [Diney] Okay.

- I'm all screwed up, Diney.

- What's the matter?

- I got thrown out of school.

- What for?

- It doesn't matter.

The hell with that.

It's just everything.

I need you to be
my friend, Diney.

I need a friend.

- You ever had a girl
for a friend before?

- I don't know any
other girls except you.

I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

(gentle music)

- [Karchy] I didn't think
this would ever happen.

I mean that's not, I'm sorry.

God, I keep saying that to you.

- It's okay.

- [Karchy] I love you.

- It's okay.

It really is.

- I mean, I like you very much.

More than I've ever
liked anyone before.

- I know.

Someday you're going to make
a terrific man, Karchy Jonas.

Delayed reaction.

- What?

- That darn Spanish fly.

Me and Henry got engaged.

(egg trays crashing)

- And so as we say
goodbye to each other,

to old friends, and set
forth to greet new ones,

may we never forget the lessons

we have all pledged to live by.

The power of will,
compassion, and truth.

The brothers of Cleveland
Latin High have shown us

not only how to survive
in the outside world,

but how to survive--

(music drowns out speech)

I'll never forget this place.

- Karchy?

You got some mail over there.

What is it?

- There's a hearing in front
of the grand jury tomorrow.

- What you gonna tell, hmm?

Karchy.

I want to be American citizen.

Don't destroy everything, hmm?

(pounding)

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on.

- You son of a bitch!

- (chuckles) Damn, where'd
you learn how to fight?

You want a beer?

- I don't want a goddamn beer.

- Suit yourself,
I'm gonna have one.

- You're gonna do
the right thing

and tear it up, that's
what you're gonna do.

- No, I'm not.

I'm gonna drink my beer.

- The contract, Amos contract.

You're gonna tear it up.

You're not getting any percent.

- You want to bet?

- [Karchy] It's a subpoena.

- Oh yeah, I got
one just like it.

- I meant nothing to you, did I?

You don't give a shit, do you?

- Hell no.

- I'm through lying.

(gentle music)

Diney.

- [Diney] Just give me a minute.

- I had to see you.

Jesus, Diney.

I loved that guy, Billy Magic.

He made me feel worth something.

Nobody told me it was
gonna be this hard.

I mean, ever since
you're little,

they tell you all
kinds of stuff.

Why don't they tell you that?

- I don't know.

They don't want to scare you.

I better go, Henry's
waiting for me.

You were the one who
broke the eggs last night.

- I still love you, you know.

- [Diney] Goodbye.

- See ya.

(car honks)

- [Amos] Man, I knew
I'd find you here.

Come on, let's get out of
this funky neighborhood.

- I have to be somewhere.

- The courthouse.

I know all about it,
Mr. Magic told me, man.

Hey, man, we're doin'
a gig in Detroit.

We're going to be
on the charts, man.

- That's great.

- We got a new contract.

Magic don't get nothing.

We got a hundred percent.

He says to give that to you.

He said it's a gift
from your friend.

- It's too late, Amos.

I don't care, he's
not my friend.

- [Man] Mr. Jonas?

- [Lawyer] What were
your duties at WHK?

- [Karchy] I helped Billy

at the station and
at the record hops.

- Mr. Jonas, during
your employment at WHK

did you ever see anyone give
Mr. Magic sums of money?

Did anyone ever give you any
money to give to Mr. Magic?

- No, but.

- But what, Mr. Jonas?

- But I got some envelopes
to give to Billy.

- And who gave you those
envelopes to give to Mr. Magic?

Who gave you those envelopes
to give to Mr. Magic?

Mr. Jonas, who gave you those

envelopes to give to Mr. Magic?

Mr. Jonas, you took an oath here

to tell the truth and
nothing but the truth.

- I know it.

- You have your naturalization
hearing coming up, don't you?

Do you understand me?

Who gave you those envelopes
to give to Mr. Magic?

- The...

Holy shit, I said it.

- What?

- The, I said the.

- Who gave you those envelopes
to give to Mr. Magic?

- The mailman.

The mailman gave
me the envelopes.

Every afternoon the
mailman will bring the mail

and I would take the
mail from the mailman

and give the envelopes to Billy.

The mailman, that's the truth.

How you doin', Billy?

- What'd you tell them?

- The truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth.

So help me God.

- Say it again.

- The truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth.

- Jesus Christ, you
said it! (laughs)

- Nothing happened,
that's what I told them.

Amos told me about the contract.

- Get in, I'll buy you a beer.

- [Karchy] No thanks, man.

- Get in, will ya?

Come on, I'll let you drive.

- I'm gonna take the bus.

- What the hell do you
want to take a bus for

when you can ride
in a Cadillac car?

- Because I don't
have a license.

- I don't care.

- I do.

- Hey, I talked to some guys,

I can get you into
broadcasting school,

it's not gonna cost you nothing.

- I don't want to go
to broadcasting school.

- What the hell are
you going to do?

- I'm gonna get a job,
save up some money.

Maybe go to school.

I don't know what the
hell I'm going to do.

I'm going to do something.

- You're a real
killer stud, Slick.

That's what you are.

- Thanks, Billy.

Hey, you take care of yourself.

- [Karchy] When was
the Declaration of
Independence signed?

- 1776.

The Habsburg still got Hungary.

- Who were the Pilgrims?

- Refugees, like you and me.

- Who was Benedict Arnold?

- Spy, traitor, goddamn Russian.

(Karchy laughs)

What's the matter,
I know answer.

You tell jury everything?

What gonna happen Magic?

- I don't know.

I think they're
gonna execute him.

- Shoot?
- Sure.

Isn't that what they
did in the old country?

- (chuckles) You are
American already.

You really tell them
everything, Karchy?

(detectives whispering)

What they want?

- Alright, alright.

Mr. Jonas?

- Yeah?

- [Judge] Who are you?

- He's Dr. Jonas.

He's a PhD in law from Pazmany
Peter University, Budapest.

He's my father.

- I'd like to see your son
in chambers, Dr. Jonas.

- We're together, Karchy, go.

- Okay, Papa.

- [Istvan] Go.

- You passed the
written test, Mr. Jonas.

But there are some
people who don't want you

and your father to
become citizens.

So I have to make a
very hard decision.

I am going to give
you a very special

naturalization test, Mr. Jonas.

Tell me the story
about George Washington

and the cherry tree.

You do know the story,
don't you, Mr. Jonas?

- George Washington.
- Yes?

- He cut down this tree.

- Yes?

- They asked him if he did it.

And he said, yes,
I cut the tree.

I cannot tell a lie.

- Do know the story
about George Washington

and the Rappahannock River?

George Washington threw
a stone all the way

across the Rappahannock River.

That's a distance
of 2 3/4 miles.

Do you believe that, Mr. Jonas?

- No.
- You don't.

You believe he owned up to
cutting the cherry tree?

- No.

- You don't believe it?

- No, that's the truth.

- You're damn right,
I don't either.

- [Crowd] I pledge
allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America

and to the republic
for which it stands

one nation, under
God, indivisible,

with liberty and
justice for all.

(crowd applauds)

- [Billy] Freight
train on rail, baby.

Billy Lightning is gonna wail.

Just between me and you and
the big city of Kalamazoo.

(upbeat music)