Tell It to the Judge (1949) - full transcript
Marsha Meredith, an attorney-at-law, is nominated for a Federal judgeship, but her nomination is opposed by a 'Good-Government' group who think her divorce makes her unfit for the job. This evolves into situations, happening in Florida, New England, Washington D.C. and the Adirondacks, such as the misunderstood husband trying to win back his wife, and the misunderstood wife trying to make her husband jealous, and one case of mistaken identity after another, after another.
Honor of the bench,
the personal lives of our
judges must be above reproach.
Senator Kaswell,
may I have the floor?
Always a pleasure to yield
to a lady.
Let me ease the strain you are
putting on your Southern gallantry by
coming to the point for you.
You are concerned about my
recent divorce.
Your recent sensational divorce.
But I merely recounted the
sordid details.
- It was my ex-husband who committed them.
- Ha ha!
There's nothing you can tell me about
the dignity of the federal bench
that I haven't learned from
that distinguished jurist.
My beloved grandfather,
Judge Mackenzie Meredith.
Retired.
Gentlemen, I deeply regret
my ex-husbands conduct.
- I object!
- Overruled.
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
you have to stop trying to
turn this into a courtroom.
Alright, well then let's stop
trying to turn her into a judge.
Does she look like a judge,
I ask you?
Mr. Webb, I've repeatedly warned you
about these disturbances.
Believe me, gentlemen,
I'm sorry about my divorce
and everything that led up to it.
I wanted desperately to
make my marriage work.
My ex-husband's conduct before
this very committee makes my point for me.
It's simply that my divorce
from him was unavoidable.
It should not be held against me.
On the contrary,
were I still Mrs. Webb,
I feel I would not have the
right to ask you as I do now
to approve the appointment
for which I have been nominated.
Thank you.
Are you still trying to get
that call through to Mrs. Webb?
- Or, Miss Meredith?
- Yes, sir.
- Depositions on the Ellerby case.
- I'll look at them later, Joe.
But they're urgent.
Were you able to talk to
Marsha in Washington?
No, she's still surrounded
by her grandfather.
Kitty tells me she went off
to Palm Beach.
- Oh by the way, Mr. Ellerby is here.
- Oh, tell him...
Pete, my boy, the case of the State
versus Ellerby is in the bag.
- For the State or for Ellerby?
- Ellerby!
We found our star witness.
Yes, my boy, my investigators have finally
located Ginger Simmons.
Oh don't mention that name.
You know she won't testify, and
I'm not going to try and
change her mind again.
All night on your yacht with
her was enough for me.
- For my wife, it was too much.
- Well, Pete, she has changed her mind.
And now she's willing to talk business.
Boy, this calls for a snort.
George, now wait a minute.
It was calling for a snort that got you
into this mess in the first place.
- But Pete, this is really big.
- You'll have to wait. I have
personal business to get to.
Wait nothing, or I'm going down
to Florida to make a deal with Ginger.
- Is she in Florida?
- Yes, Stratton in Palm Beach.
Wait a minute, you can't leave
the state, you're out on bail.
Anyway, there are too many bars
in Florida, you might start snorting again.
No, no, George.
I'll do it.
I'll go.
- Mr. Webb.
- What is it?
- Ginger!
- Ellerby wired me to meet you.
- That's fine.
- I promised him I'd testify
for him against those crooks,
but a gal can't live on just
doing good deeds.
You'll be well paid.
I have other things to worry
about right now.
So have I! I'm scared.
After all, if those mobsters
find out that I'm getting on
the witness stand, they'll...
They can get awful rough,
and I want to be protected.
You will be. Now go to your
place and lay low. I'll call
first thing in the morning.
I'm thinking of nothing
but your welfare.
So I see.
Never mind, I'll get it.
Hello?
Yes?
- Who? Oh no.
- What now, a hurricane?
- Worse, Mr. Webb.
- Oh, I'll talk to him.
I'm sorry Miss Meredith,
but the judge won't like this.
The judge will like what I'm going to say.
Hello, Pete.
What?
Oh you're here? Yes you'll love it.
Oh, it's just one gay, mad whirl.
Well couldn't you stop whirling
long enough for us to have a talk?
Well we couldn't very well talk,
now could we, in front of him?
- Him? Him who?
- Oh, the gentlemen I'm dining
with. He's here now.
Oh no, darling, I couldn't.
Eight martinis is my limit.
Eight?
Marsha, you never drank...
What are you trying to do,
drown yourself?
I'll be right over.
Pete, wait a minute!
Hello? Hello?
Oh, Cleo, get my out of this
dress, I have to get out of here.
- Yes.
- When Mr. Webb comes, tell him
the gentlemen and I have gone.
- What gentlemen?
- There isn't any.
- There ain't?
- The one with the martinis.
Oh, him.
- Excuse me, may I?
- Oh, thank you.
Frightful service.
- Hmm.
- One grows rather accustomed to it.
Or are you a new arrival?
- Quite.
- I have a real treat in store
for you, Florida's charming.
Hmm.
In fact, I make rather a hobby
of showing newcomers some
of its hidden charms.
Do you happen to be down here
along?
Not quite,
I'm here with my children.
- Six.
- Oh, that's quite a family.
Quite.
Do you think the children would
mind if we had a little cocktail?
No, I would.
Sorry.
Why Marsha!
Well it sounds like a charming evening.
Do let's have cocktails first.
By all means.
Put those things in my room.
Good evening, this way, please.
- Madame would permit me to...
- I want a martini.
Two, please.
This is all perfectly delightful,
but rather confusing.
Oh, life always is,
don't you think?
Quick, good conversation.
- Conversation, I've got nothing.
- You managed very well
upstairs. Say something,
anything. A-B-C-D-F-G.
A-B-C-D-F-G?
Oh, I do think that is amusing.
I simply can't get over it.
- Cigarette?
- A lipstick.
Lipstick?
- Do tell me more.
- Well, all I can say is,
H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P.
Oh, really?
Do stop, I can't bear another word.
You are the one.
- Q-R-S-T your lipstick.
- U-V-W Lovely shade, isn't it?
X-Y-Z Lovely, but wouldn't
it look better on your lips?
You kill me.
Some initiation prank,
I guess. An Elk, no doubt.
- Are you an Elk?
- Me? You're a riot. Am I an Elk?
- Oh, why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't think you were
interested in anything
- ...but the alphabet.
- It was all for the benefit of
that man at the bar.
He's a pest from home.
Crazy.
Well, things become a little
clearer.
You must of thought I was crazy.
I was beginning to have my
suspicions.
- You know how please I am that you're not.
- Thank you.
Everybody's staring.
Let's get out of here.
- How about dinner? I have a
table at the Colonnade.
- Dinner, divine!
Say, did you see that lady?
She had lipstick...
Well.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, but I just
remembered another engagement.
- Say...
Oh, but the Colonnade sounds
like such fun.
Let's go.
- Taxi.
- Taxi!
Hold on, normal bets.
For 11, black.
- Mr. Darvac, you shouldn't
have brought me here.
- Why not?
- I've just explained, the
Senate, my appointment...
- Oh, they're very discreet.
It is quite alright.
- Well, I'm afraid Senator
Kaswell wouldn't think so.
- Senator Kaswell?
Oh, you needn't worry about him.
- You know him?
- Well, let's just say he owes me a favor.
Mr. Darvac, Mr. Gonzales
was wondering if he could talk
to you for a minute.
Thank you. I hesitate leaving
you, even for a moment.
It's quite alright,
I've decided to leave...
- Mr. Meredith...
- Hurry back, darling.
I'll meet you at the
Roulette wheel.
- Where the hell have you been?
- Sorry, but this business is
so close to pleasure,
I sometimes get the two mixed up.
I don't pay you to get mixed
up with pleasure, I pay you to
work here as a shell.
- Shill.
- Shill, shell... Look, what is
your job here?
I thought it was perfectly
understood. I'm supposed to
play heavily, attract people
to the gaming tables, shame
the more timid into playing
for higher stakes.
Well, do that.
And don't teach me no English.
- Murph will give you money.
- Tonight, I think I'll plunge.
There's someone I want
particularly to impress.
Good evening, Judge.
Investigating vice conditions?
- Your case is closed.
- Make way for the player, please.
- Make way for the players, please.
- Oh, I am a player.
- Give me some dollar chips.
- Five dollars is the minimum.
- Give me a couple thousand worth, please.
- Oh...
Here you are, sir.
That'll make these 10.
- Your favorite system?
- Oh no, I never gamble.
Well, I did once...
- And lost.
- Well, then you're sure to
win, so I'll do it for you.
A thousand on the red for the
lady in black.
- No, I couldn't let you risk
a thousand dollars on me.
- I'd risk a kingdom on you.
Oh, well, if you insist.
Police!
- You're gonna need a good lawyer.
- You leave me alone.
- You're on your own.
- Pete! Wait for me!
What do you want?
- Is that a way out?
- Yes, from old prohibition days.
Come with me to the Kasbah.
There must be a light switch
here someplace.
Oh, here it is.
Oh, uh...
Alright, come on, horse fan.
There must be another switch
here somewhere. I guess I
snapped the wrong one.
Either that or I've got my eyes closed.
Come on.
Oh!
Well you could at least
hold my hand. What do you want
me to do, break my neck?
- Shall I be frank?
- Never mind.
Oh! Pete, these cobwebs!
Get them out of my face,
they're blinding me!
If I see anything interesting,
I'll describe it to you.
Of all the inconsiderate human
beings I ever met,
you'd be... Ugh!
- Better watch out for those low pipes.
- Now he tells me.
- Oh, and watch out for that...
- Ugh!
Nail.
- Oh, you'll pay for this.
- I did.
Why on Earth did I ever come
to a place like this?
Well, fools step in where...
Pete!
Pete?
Oh, Pete.
Pete!
Pete, where are you?
Just one step ahead of you, dear.
- Well, we're out.
- I feel very definitely in.
You want me to get the cob
webs out of your face, dear?
- What face?
- You never looked like that
when we were married.
It's the way I often felt.
Now wait a minute. Hold it.
Where are you going?
Look, this whole area will be
swarming with cops. You want
to be a judge, don't you?
Every time I'm near you, there's trouble.
What'll we do?
Here's a boat. We oughtta be
able to hide out some place
until the police leave.
Say, what about that lighthouse?
They're accustomed to wrecks.
To think I used to argue
against capital punishment.
- Okay, the lighthouse.
- Your Honor.
I know you're not accustomed
to helping ladies, but
couldn't you force yourself?
Oh yes, forgive me. Oh.
- Familiar.
- Too familiar.
Just reminiscing.
Oh!
Well, thank you.
Wait a minute!
You couldn't by any chance
now come out and help me in?
You didn't seem to have any
trouble getting on that yacht
with that blonde... Witness.
- Well, she had a gangplank.
- I wondered what you saw in her.
Come on, superman.
- Salty, isn't it?
- Well, it's getting a little bit cold.
Wait a minute, I'll get back here.
We're gonna have to untie it.
Anything I can do, Admiral?
Let's see, I did this in
college once...
Well, anchors away!
Hey!
- It slipped away.
- Bring it back!
- Yeah, here, boat! Here, boat!
- Swim after it.
Swim after it...
And get eaten by a shark?
I should be so lucky.
Quiet, Sailor!
Didn't you see the sign?
It says, "Keep off!"
We just want to come in and
get dried out for a minute.
- You see, we accidentally lost out boat.
- This ain't no motel.
- Fact is, it ain't even an
active lighthouse no more.
- Oh, but it is government
property, and we're shipwrecked.
And according to the Marine Law, firmly
established in the year of 1810, and
the case of Austin versus Adams,
you are required to render
aid and comfort.
- She right?
- Legally, always.
Come on, sailor.
- What was that case you sighted.
- Make up one of your own.
Alright, Sailor, back to bed.
Right upstairs.
- Watch your heel, honey.
- You look out for yourself.
Well, what a nice and cozy
place you have here, Mr...
- The name is Roogle.
- Well how do you do?
Ours is Webb.
And mine's Meredith.
Miss Meredith.
You see,
it's a little confusing.
We used to be married.
Well, after we've dried out,
would you be good enough to
take us back to the mainland?
Well, the boat leaks.
But I'll run up the boat flag
first thing in the morning,
and somebody's bound
to take you off.
- First thing in the morning?
- I've got some dry things for you.
Well, my room's right
upstairs, and, uh,
young lady, I guess you can
sleep right here.
You.
- You're downstairs with Sailor.
- What, in the doghouse?
- What else?
- Storehouse!
- Wait a minute...
- Now looky here, young feller,
this lighthouse hasn't had a
breath of scandal in it for
more than 48 years,
- and I aim to keep it so.
- I aim to keep it so, too.
- Oh wait a minute now, Mr. Bugle.
- Roogle!
- It rhymes with Bugle!
- Alright, Roogle.
But if she says that this is
government property, and that
in the case of...
- What was that again?
- Disposition of quarters is
up to the lighthouse keeper.
- What?
- Statute 42, page 11, section
12, and this ain't no motel.
Alright, storehouse dog room.
Somebody's gonna hear about this.
He's a little tired.
Marsha, Marsha.
- What do you want?
- I want to talk to you.
- Go back to sleep.
- I can't, the dog snores.
- One more step, and I'll call Roogle.
- For heaven's sake, Marsha.
Don't you feel anything for
me anymore?
- Sure, revulsion.
- Revulsion?
Well, you must admit, we never
had any trouble until
your grandfather retired.
We never had any trouble until
that blonde retired on that yacht.
Oh Marsha, we've been over
that a thousand times.
- She was a witness. A key witness!
- Shh!
A lawyer's got to confer with
his witness doesn't he?
How's he gonna operate?
- You do all right.
- You're just like your grandfather.
You convicted me on
circumstantial evidence.
That's good enough for me.
And you leave my grandfather
out of this.
Well you're getting more like
him every day...
- Now the dog wants out.
- Can't say I blame him.
Psst! Marsha.
- Are you asleep?
- Can't you tell?
- This is the last time I'm
gonna say it, Marsha.
- Good.
That girl meant nothing to me.
Absolutely nothing.
There's never been anyone
else but you. You're the only
woman I have ever loved.
And I want you back.
I need you.
You're just cold.
Hey, git!
No!
Hey, that smells mighty good!
I'm sort of sorry I finished
my own breakfast. You do a lot
of cooking yourself?
I have to.
I married a career woman.
Aye, cutty!
I forgot to run up that boat flag.
Say, Mr. Roogle.
You've got the wrong slant on
this whole thing.
The lady and I really were
married. And uh...
Well if we could just stay
here a bit longer, we might...
Say,
you haven't got a flag there
that would keep a boat away,
have you?
- The only thing I got is this
yellow quarantine flag.
- Quarantine? Say, that's a...
Hey! Looky here, young
feller, I'm gonna run up
this boat flag.
- This ain't...
- No motel.
Whoo, that sea air certainly
whips up an appetite.
Well, darling, you just sit
right down here, and I'll fix
you some breakfast.
No thank you, I am perfectly
capable of frying my own eggs.
Not without eggs, you ain't.
A Lighthouse breakfast
consists of fish.
Fish?
I didn't expect fish for breakfast.
- They weren't expecting you either.
- Ha!
That's pretty good.
Oh.
Pardon me.
- Aren't you going to clean it?
- Oh, naturally.
I was just trying this for size.
Aren't you going to remove
the insides?
- Is that necessary?
- Not particularly,
unless you're gonna eat it.
Go ahead, simply slit it up
the soft underside, and then...
I don't like the looks of
this fish.
Why does it have to look at
me so accusingly?
Well there's one good thing
about a fish, if don't like
the way he looks at you,
you can simply chop his head off.
You have to keep your eye
on the ball.
No, look, just put the knife
right up under the gill there,
and then simply saw.
Saw?
Oh, thank you.
Mmm, good.
Have some?
I've had too much already.
Pete!
Mr. Roogle!
Yoo hoo!
There's a boat coming!
We're here, come on over!
Quarantine flag!
They're turning around.
Come back!
Ahoy!
# Let's fall in love
# Why shouldn't we fall in love?
# Da da da da...
What are the other words to that?
I'm afraid I don't remember.
You taught 'em to me.
On a ship, Mr. Roogle,
on our honeymoon.
# Now is the time for it
# While we are young
# Let's fall in...
Do you have to be a judge?
It's what Gramp wants.
- Not as much as I want you.
- But he's old and...
It means everything to him that...
- You do really want me.
- More than anything.
- Even if I have to be a judge?
- Even if you have to.
- Oh, I wish you wouldn't confuse me.
- Do you?
- Yes, I mean no...
- You mean yes.
Listen here, Cleo, you know
you should have called the
police the minute you found
out Webb was in town.
You know, darling, I think
I've gotten a bit weaker since
the last time I did this.
- No, no, darling, I've gotten
a little bit heavier.
- No you haven't...
- Marsha, you didn't!
- I did, legally.
I leave you out of my sight
for 48 hours and you wreck
your entire career.
- Just by marrying me?
- Well Pete's reformed,
haven't you, darling?
- Yes, I've reformed.
- Oh, Cleo, bring some glasses!
You stood up in Washington
and declared with unmistakable clarity
- ...that a woman who is married
to this... this...
- Jerk.
Thank you. Would not be fit to
hold the job for which you are
now waiting approval for!
- I'm afraid I did put it a bit
strongly, darling.
- It's all right, baby,
- I forgive you.
- Oh, don't do that!
- Put me down, Pete.
- You forgive her?
What about that Senate
committee? And the newspapers?
Oh, I can't bear to think...
But Gramp, I love him. Nothing
has ever stopped that, not
even the supreme court.
I know, but you'll wreck a
whole life's work.
- Your reputation, dear.
- Oh, my reputation,
I forgot all about that.
Hello, give me the desk.
Oh hello,
if you see a man prowling
around my apartment,
it isn't a man, it's my husband.
I mean, I've just been married...
That's right, that's right.
Let the whole world in on it.
- Who else have you told?
- No one, Gramp.
Has it ever occurred to you...
Here, Cleo.
Has it ever occurred to you
that if you hold this thing
back for a few more weeks,
- you may get the approval?
- Pete?
Well, it's all right with me.
But if we're gonna live
together as man and wife, it
seems that even the Senate
would prefer to know that we
were married.
Exactly, you're going to
live together.
After the appointment.
That's out, did you
hear that? That's out.
Wait a minute. Seems to me
a small enough sacrifice to make,
just to wait until that
committee meets again?
When I get to your age, maybe
it will seem small to me too.
- How old are you, Gramp?
- That's none of your business.
I guess marriages are
made in heaven.
This isn't the first time I've
been replaced by a higher court.
I've done my best. Nothing left for me
to do but to wish you both luck.
There are two kinds you know.
- You happy?
- Deliriously, and you?
Gigantically.
There's no one else I'd
rather marry.
No, you're just saying that
because it's a habit.
Hello? Hello?
Hello!
Are you sure Mr. Webb went
out with Miss Meredith?
- Yes, Miss, I'm very sure.
- Thank you.
- I'm busy, call me in the morning.
- That's what you told me two
days ago. I've been looking
all over town for you.
It's about Ellerby.
- Ellerby? He's fine, sends you
his regards.
- He brought them personally.
- He jumped bail?
- Well, he didn't hear from
you, so he flew down here.
You know what he's like when
he's drinking. Well he's
downstairs in the bar right
now, drunker than a hoot owl,
shooting his mouth off.
- Well, it's his funeral.
- And mine too. It'll only take
you about 10 minutes,
and if you don't stop him
right now, I don't know what
those mobsters will do to me.
- I know too much!
- I'm sorry.
Well than you can include me out.
- In fact, I'm getting out of the country.
- Ginger, wait a minute.
- He's downstairs?
- You could handle him
in less than 10 minutes.
All right, stay here.
Right here.
- What was it, darling?
- Honey, it looks like I've got
to leave you.
- What?
- It's just for 10 minutes,
it's an emergency, a client.
- What kind?
- It's George Ellerby, he's a man.
- He better be.
- Oh he is, it's a matter of
life and death. Honey,
- ...this time, we gotta start out
by giving a little.
- All right, I'll give,
- ...but for 10 minutes.
- Aw, you' can be really sweet
when you want to be.
- Sure I can, but only for 10 minutes.
- 10 minutes, yeah.
I'm sorry, Judge, a lower on the
Seaboard Linemen is the best I can do.
That's alright.
There are a lot of big shots
that have been cheating a lot
of little shots.
I'll find them right behind
the bars.
Why don't you go back to your table, sir.
You are disturbing the customers.
Oh yeah? Well I'm a costumer,
and I'm not disturbed.
Hey, Mack, get me another
drink, will ya? Unless...
One bourbon and soda.
- The full treatment.
- Rowdy crowd lately. I've been
buying these mickey pills
by the dozen.
And I'm not afraid to name
names either!
Hey, Webby!
I've been looking all over
the place for you.
Hey folks, I want you
to meet my attorney.
The fellow with the little
blonde rabbit up his sleeve.
- Shh!
- Free speech.
You take the first plane back
or you'll be entitled to free
board and lodging.
I'm not going that way,
my table is right over there.
Hey, what are you having to
drink, Pete? Bartender!
The same thing all around,
huh? Okay.
- This'll keep him quiet.
- You gotta get back on
a plane to New York tonight.
- Not unless she goes with me.
- You know I can't do that.
I can't lose track of her,
she's gotta go with me.
- You know I can't show my face
in New York.
- Okay,
you can get lost in New York
just as well as you can in
Florida, now let's get out.
Not 'til I have one for the
road. Hey, Mack!
- Here you are, sir.
- Oh, thank you. - Check please.
- 240, sir.
- Oh no, pardon me, but I am
the host here.
Nobody pays for anything
but me. Drink it up.
Drink it up like a good little
boy.
Drink it up, it'll relax you.
You're too tense.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Oh, you might let me finish
the drink.
- Can I be of any assistance?
- I think I can manage myself.
- Don't shove. How do you do?
- Now look, you stay away
from that bottle.
- Bottle!
- And if you can't handle him,
contact me,
no matter where I am,
even if I'm...
- What's the matter, boy?
- Yeah.
I must have drunken that drink
too fast.
Ellerby knows how to take care
of a light.
- In you go, son! Take it away!
- George...
Wait a minute!
Hold it, hold it!
- You're the one who's leaving, not me.
- Who me? No!
Take care of him.
Marsha...
You Marsha?
- No, sir, I'm Clarence.
- 10 minutes, gotta find Marsha.
- Gotta find Marsha.
- No, you mustn't. - Gotta find Marsha.
Taxi.
- Marsha? 10 minutes. Gotta find Marsha.
- Put him in.
- All right.
- Railroad station.
Oh, Cleo.
Yes, ma'am?
- Cleo, you may have the night off.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
- What you done?
- Oh, cut bangs.
Mr. Webb loves them.
Uh-huh.
- Marsha? You Marsha?
- Certainly in a bad way, sir.
- You know these farewell parties.
- I certainly do.
- Here we are, sir, beds all made up.
- Just let him sleep it off.
He's going to be married
in Philadelphia.
He is? Don't you think you
ought to undress him, sir?
- Oh, that's a good idea.
- I'll get his bag.
- He's all tucked in and
sleeping like a baby.
- I bet Mr. Klinghoffer will be
a different man in the morning.
- Who?
- Mr... Is that the way you
pronounce it, sir?
Mr. Klinghoffer, oh yes.
He will be a different man in the morning.
All aboard!
All aboard!
Mmm, 10 minutes, Marsha.
10 minutes.
Hello, Police? Has there been
an accident reported involving
a man named Webb?
Peter Webb?
That's too bad.
Porter!
Porter!
Porter!
Porter!
- Yes, Mr. Klinghoffer.
- Klinghoffer? How did I get
here? Where am I?
- Raleigh, you're just leaving
Raleigh, North Carolina.
- Raleigh?
- And a kind gentlemen put you
on board, sir.
- Take that a little slower.
- Klinghoffer?
- Yes.
- Did he put me on board?
- Oh no, a kind gentlemen
put you on board.
- Oh.
- You are Klinghoffer.
- He's awfully glad about the wedding.
- He? He who?
- With the wedding? He knew
about the wedding?
- Oh yes.
And I hope you get to
Philadelphia in time for it.
- I n time for what?
- Your wedding! - In Philadelphia?
- Yes, sir.
- Stop the train. Stop the train!
- We can't do that, sir.
- Where are my clothes?
- Not in your berth?
- No!
- They must be in your bag.
Here they are,
Mr. Klinghoffer.
I'm sure you'll find
everything you need in there.
Porter!
Porter!
- Porter?
- Yes, sir?
That man in the lower is
calling you again.
- Porter!
- I can't hear a thing.
When I saw him with that blonde,
I knew he was up to his old tricks.
His old tricks were childish
pranks compared to this one.
I can understand him wanting
to get back at me, but to
marry me in order to
accomplish the point.
Name a better way.
Hello? What?
- Oh no!
- What's wrong?
The press, they're on their
way up here.
Well I'll give them a story
that will make lawyer Webb
wish he had a lawyer.
No, Marsha, take it easy.
- We don't want the marriage to leak out.
- I'm sure Pete intends to see
- ...that it does.
- Well perhaps, but don't
worry about Pete.
He wouldn't dare.
Abusing a marriage law this way?
Why I could have him in disbarred
in every state in the union.
- Oh, Gramps, all I want is an annulment.
- Alright.
Later, but what we've got think
about right now is the appointment.
- Him and his lighthouses.
- Marsha...
Think what you could do to him
when you are a federal judge.
For the time being,
deny everything.
Hiya, Meredith, we just heard
the good news.
We'd like to get the lowdown
on your latest marriage.
- Marriage?
- Oh, come now, Miss Meredith,
you're not gonna make us dig
this up the hard way. We know
the man prowling around here
is your new husband.
The desk clerk got it straight
from you, and we got it
straight from the desk clerk.
- Is he the man?
- Yes! - No!
I mean, he is the man who
performed the ceremony.
This is my grandfather, Judge
Mackenzie Meredith.
- Hiya, Judge.
- Then you are married! Who's the groom?
Well, the groom...
Oh, that's the man I'm married to.
- I mean, yes, well...
- Well, what's his name?
- His name?
- Yes!
- Oh, his name.
- Something to identify him by.
Roogle. Alonzo K. Roogle.
- Roogle?
- That's okay, Roogle.
- It rhymes with Bugle.
- Let's have a look at him.
- Oh you couldn't meet Mr. Roogle.
- No, no, that's impossible.
- Well, why?
- Well because he...
- He's dead.
- Dead?
- Dead?
- What happened?
- Well, you see, right after our elopement.
My husband was called to his
ailing father's bedside.
In Panama.
His plane...
Crashed in Guatemala.
But there's been no passenger
plane crash reported.
Oh, my husband flew his own plane.
I'm sorry, boys, I can't talk
about it anymore.
Let us have some of the details?
Gentlemen, you have your
story. A tragic one.
From bridal gown to widow's weeds
in just one day.
Please leave us.
- Excuse us for interrupting.
- Yes, we're sorry.
And shut the door.
I've heard a lot of perjury in my day,
but nothing as slick as that.
Oh never mind the bouquets,
I'm still worried about Pete.
- Will you leave Pete to me?
- All right, he's yours, all yours.
Gramp, I've got to get out
of here.
The press will never allow
Alonzo K. Roogle to rest in peace.
Alonzo... Now you'd only think
of some place you could go to.
I don't remember...
- Kitty's invitation. The Adirondacks!
- Perfect!
- Of course, of course. Cleo!
- Yes, ma'am?
Pack my things. I'm going to
the Adirondacks to hibernate.
I'll stop in New York and get
some other clothes. Now, not
a word to anyone!
No, ma'am.
Yes? Oh, you.
- Pete?
- Yes. What do you want?
Mack, I don't want to talk to you.
I want to talk to my wife.
How dare you refer to me
as your wife.
And if you mention our
marriage to anyone, you'll
regret it all your life.
Longer.
- The idea of marrying me just to spite me.
- But honey, wait...
- I'll have you disbarred if
you breath a word of this...
- No, but honey...
Look, the whole thing was
an accident.
A fatal one.
You died last night in a plane crash.
I what?
I died in a plane...
Marsha, what are you talking
about? This is Pete!
Oh no, if you start calling me
Klinghoffer, I'm giving myself up.
Oh, you're not Klinghoffer,
you're Roogle.
Alonzo K. Roogle.
The K stands for Klinghoffer.
Here, boy. Car 27.
I'll get it.
- Good morning.
I heard you were leaving.
- Mr. Darvac.
What happened?
Where have you been?
- In jail. I thought I'd find you there.
- Look here, young man,
if you're in trouble, you have
to plead your own case.
We're in a hurry and I want
my breakfast.
I'd have been better off in
jail at that.
- I got married instead.
- Marsha!
Darling, we can hardly expect
to keep it a secret. It will
be in all the papers.
- Well congratulations.
And to you, sir.
- I'm her grandfather,
- not her groom.
- Wait a minute, Mr. Darvac
- is a very good friend of
Senator Kaswell's.
- The Senator arranged the
- government subsidy for one of
my railroads.
- Oh, I see.
- So you're off on your honeymoon?
- Oh hardly, my husband died.
- He did? When?
- Last night.
We're planning his funeral.
- Aren't we, Gramps?
- We're trying might hard.
- I wish there was something I could do.
- Marsha's going up to
Kitty Lawton's place to rest
If you're in the neighborhood,
drop around, cheer her up.
- Well, if you think that...
- Any friend of Marsha's
is a friend of Kitty's.
And any friend of Kaswell's is
a friend of mine.
Ain't that bellboy come yet?
Don't you worry, Cleo.
He'll be along in a minute.
Well that train ain't waitin'
for us, and I ain't waitin for him.
- Uh oh.
- Oh wait, Cleo.
- I'll get the elevator.
- Yes.
- There better be a diner on
that train.
- Oh, goodbye, Mr. Darvac,
you've been so nice.
- Thank you, thank you.
Auf wierdersehen.
Adirondacks...
Hey, the Laughton chauffeur
met Miss Meredith
at the same train you came on.
Why didn't you drive out with
them?
Well, I wanted to surprise her.
Sure made a big secret about
her comin' up here.
Yes, well I wouldn't have
known about it either if her
maid hadn't told me.
Of course, I had to twist
her arm a little.
We always fool around that
way, you know.
Oh. How do you do?
Come in, Mrs. Roogle,
we're expecting you.
- Marsha, darling, you poor dear.
- Hello.
- What you've been through.
- Such a shock, darling.
It was to all of us.
- Thank you.
- Come by the fire and get warm.
- You look wonderful in spite
of everything.
- Kitty, you are so sweet to
have me.
Oh, the peace of this place.
You'll never know how glad I
am to get away from people and
phones and reporters.
You know the Washington
correspondent, Ken Craig?
How do you do?
I read you every day.
- I don't believe we've ever met.
- I feel I know you.
- You've been on my typewriter
so much lately.
- He featured your tragedy
on the Sunday night broadcast,
darling.
- Oh, that was very kind.
- I chatted mostly about you.
Couldn't seem to get any
lowdown on your late husband.
Oh, Mr. Roogle was most
retiring. Actually, he lived
the life of a hermit.
- A hermit? How did you meet?
- Through his dog.
- The dog?
- Yes, the dog wasn't a hermit.
You see, he was.
It was really very romantic.
Is this a private wake,
or can anyone join?
Pete Webb, and what are you
doing here?
- How dare you joke at a time like this.
- Forgive the intrusion,
fair lady, but I bring tidings
of great joy.
What? No welcome kiss?
Oh hello, Valerie. I'll melt
the frost
from that smile when you hear my news.
Marsha,
- I've never liked you in black.
- I know.
- Only in black and blue.
- Whoa, never laid a hand on
her, except in self defense.
- I'm Pete Webb.
- This is Ken Craig,
Washington correspondent.
Sunday night radio
predictions, remember?
Oh yes, of course. Half my clients want
to sue you for libel. It's a pleasure.
- Glad to know you.
- Say, I'm awfully glad you're
here, old man...
Pete, the last time I talked
with you, I thought I made
everything quite clear.
Well that's because you did
all the talking.
Now it's my turn.
Well, speak up or shut up.
Yes, well it's about one
Roogle. Alonzo K. Roogle.
- Pete!
- You knew him?
Knew him? Well, I thought Marsha told you.
She met him through me.
- Well what about him? I have
30 million readers waiting.
- Yes, well it seems as if the
late Mr. Roogle is no longer
late. No, he's alive.
- Oh!
- Pete, you idiot.
Kitty, the smelling salts.
And some brandy.
Now, don't get excited.
She always faints when she's
overjoyed.
- Well lift her onto the couch.
- Let's see how the Boy Scouts do this.
Oh.
She's as heavy as lead!
Strange, I did this gracefully
not long ago.
With a lightweight blonde
no doubt.
- You're tidings of joy hit
like a mallet, old boy.
- Oh, she'll be alright.
Darling, this is Petey, Petey.
Can you hear me?
- Always.
Shall I call a doctor?
- Heavens no!
I mean, I'd like to be with
Pete for a while.
- Alone.
- Of course, I'm so happy for you, dear.
If you want to leave,
I'll have Winston bring your bags down.
No, Kitty, don't rush things.
No, her husband is coming here.
- Here, huh?
- Here?
Roogle is winging his way to
his happy bride at this very moment.
- What?
- Oh, keep calm, darling. This is exciting!
- I'll tell Winston there'll be
two more for dinner.
- Two more for dinner.
- You fiend. Of all the cheap,
second rate things to do.
- Fine thanks I get
- ...for sparing you the
embarrassment of your life.
- Sparing me the embarrass...
Honestly, Marsha, you didn't
think you would get away with
this phony plane crash story,
- ...did you?
- Why not? It's more original
than your witness story.
Darling, your name is in every
paper I've seen, questioned.
Is Civil Aeronautics checking
into the Roogle plane crash?
Answer: yes.
No plane, no crash.
No Roogle, no nothing.
I couldn't let them find you
out, could I?
Well it might have
taken weeks to check.
- By that time I would have had
the appointment.
- I know Civil Aeronautics.
- They'd have the full story by morning.
- Oh, you didn't by any chance
- ...suggest they do the checking, did you?
- Me?
Cross the woman that I love?
Why Marsha, use your head.
I'd like to use my nails.
Excuse me, I've got my paper
on the phone. What business
is your husband in?
- Uh, nuts.
- Brazil nuts.
Oh, thanks.
- Very funny, Mr. Webb.
- Oh, not Webb. Roogle.
Alonzo Klinghoffer Roogle.
Remember?
- Everything alright, dear?
- Oh yes, perfect.
Now I get it.
You want me to admit everything.
- Tell them I married you again
so that you could...
- Well, yes.
Unless you can dig up a
husband named Roogle.
You know, you can.
Oh Marsha, let's tell the truth.
Let's pick up where we left off.
There must be a simpler way,
like dropping dead.
After what you did to me on
our wedding...
- Oh Marsha, I was a victim of amnesia!
- Shh!
- I couldn't remember a thing.
- Including the fact that you
had just married me.
- You were with that Ginger again.
- Marsha, I started out with
Ginger, I'll admit. I went
downstairs to see Ellerby.
I don't know what happened.
I found myself on a train,
or in a pullman,
or in a lower berth.
- And alone!
- I know just how you feel.
I tell you,
somebody put me on the
train with a bag.
- Or a suitcase.
- Mistook you for a porter, no doubt.
- That was later. Marsha!
- Oh, really?
Oh there you are. Kitty's on
the phone calling people,
says we've got to celebrate.
Ducky, the helpers are busy,
bring in some firewood, will you?
Then go to town and get the
papers?
- And then what, some window washing?
- Then you can catch a train.
- From now on, I fly.
- Okay by me,
so long as you take off.
But Gramp, what could I do?
He just marched in and took over.
But Marsha, where in the name
of Christomer
are we going to find a husband
by the name of Roogle for you?
Well If I knew that, I
wouldn't be calling you.
I'm going out of my mind.
You've simply got to think
of something.
Wait a minute.
- Never mind, he's here!
- Who's there?
- Roogle!
- Roogle?
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Craig.
I'll get it, Winston, thank you.
Sweetheart, angel!
I didn't think you'd be this
glad to see me.
- How can you say a thing like
that? Come in, come in.
- We're all glad to see you,
- Mr. Roogle.
- I should say we are glad to
see you, Mr. Roogle.
- You gave us quite a scare.
- Look, I'm afraid you've got
the wrong...
You don't have to explain a thing, dear.
Pete explained everything to us.
- Pete? Pete who?
- My husband, you remember.
- The former one.
- He's only told half the story.
- My readers want the whole thing.
- Well I'm afraid they will
have to wait for it.
You're awfully tired, aren't you, dear?
- Tired?
- Of course you are. You go
along skating. See you later.
All right, I'll be seeing you.
You two deserve a little time alone.
- Follow me.
- Look, I don't wish to appear nosy,
- but what's going on around here?
- Shh!
It's all terribly involved,
but you've simply got to be
my husband for a few days.
- The dead one?
- No, that's all changed, he's alive.
- Alive? Well then supposing
he shows up?
- How could he if you're he?
- Him? He? Oh I know it doesn't
make sense, but...
- Oh, of course it does.
- I run into situations like
this every day.
- But you will be my husband
for a few days? Please?
I should be charmed to make
you Mrs. Darvac.
Oh thank you, you are an
angel. Oh,
but you can't make me Mrs. Darvac.
You see, I'm making you Mr. Roogle.
- Who?
- Roogle, it rhymes with Bugle.
Winston, will you have Rogers
clean away this snow?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Ah my gracious host.
- Well hello, Pete.
I've got the papers you wanted.
- Isn't it wonderful about
Marsha's husband?
- Marvelous, simply marvelous.
- Has he arrived yet?
- Some time ago.
Well, I guess she just
couldn't wait...
- What was that?
- I said, he arrived some time ago.
Who arrived some time ago?
Marsha's husband, Mr. Roogle.
Oh, that's impossible.
Poor Pete, you are jealous.
Come see for yourself.
Oh, hello, Pete!
Oh Pete, you know my
husband, Mr. Roogle.
This is my husband, Mr. Webb.
My former husband, that is.
I understand you were the first
to break the good news to Marsha.
Yeah, I revived you by mistake.
- May I cut in on my wife?
- On my wife.
Go ahead, but not for long.
Sorry.
How did he get here?
Who invited him?
While you were repeating your past
with Ginger, I was planning my future.
We'll see about that.
Don't look now, but are you
still wearing your snow shoes?
I wish I were.
Soon as I catch by breath, I'm
going to make an announcement.
Oh hello, Ken.
Hello there.
You go ahead and expose it.
I'm sure Mr. Craig would much
rather print
"Peter B. Webb's strays off on
his wedding night."
- That will make you look just
dandy, won't it?
- Let me tell you something.
Sorry, old man,
but it's my turn now.
Your green is showing.
Here, let me fascinate you.
Charm-brain, Whitton-cultured...
Fouie.
Now, Pete, admit it.
Marsha's never looked more radiant.
You ever seen anyone dance
more beautifully than Mr. Roogle?
- Arthur Murray.
- Whoa!
You might get the address.
This calls for a drink.
Come on, everybody.
Now I understand everything,
Marsha.
Isn't he divine? Dancing is only
one of his minor accomplishments.
You should see him on a tennis
court, or on a polo field,
or on skis. He's positively
breathtaking on skis,
- ...aren't you, darling?
- Well, I do have a trophy or two.
Oh listen to him, a trophy or two.
He only won the Sun Valley championship
in 1945, six, and seven.
- What, no Olympics?
- Just for '48.
- Wait a minute, I want to
speak to this man.
- How about a drink, darling?
- A martini?
- Perfect.
That's very interesting about
your skiing. I'm drafting you
right now as my private
- ...instructor.
- I guess that serves me right
for trying to impress Marsha.
- Oh, come now.
- No really, it's completely
out of my line.
- I'd probably break my neck.
- You're just being modest.
I really can't ski at all.
- In fact, I've never been on skis.
- Time's up, Ken.
Well, shall we sit by the fire?
Well, and what's this all
about breaking your neck?
Don't worry, I was merely
getting out of giving Mr.
Craig skiing lessons.
The way things look, looks
like we'll have little enough
time together.
Well, has Mr. Roogle won any
more skiing championships
- since the last dance?
- As a matter of fact, he has.
- Quebec, Lake Placid, Oslo...
- Really?
Let's say we go out
for a little run.
You'd like to see the champion
in action, wouldn't you?
Oh, I'd love it.
- She means she'd love seeing me shown up.
- I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty
- ...for that.
- Oh, what could happen to you?
No more than a broken neck,
- and what's a broken neck to a champion?
- Nothing.
Listen, folks, the Roogles and
I are going out for a little ski.
Anyone like to join us?
I guess they can't stand the sight
of blood, old man. Help you up.
That's a pretty treacherous
hill, isn't it?
A little thing like that
shouldn't bother you, champ.
- Oh no, I'm just worried about
you, old man.
- Me?
You needn't worry about Pete.
He always lives dangerously.
Me? No, you first.
I'll follow the master.
You stay here and watch us,
Marsha. This is very interesting.
One of us is going to surprise
you.
Are you sure you want to try this?
Rather not, eh?
Well, see you below.
- Bravo!
- I told you I was a bit rusty.
Rusty? You're about to see the man
for whom that word was coined.
Yoo hoo!
Well, come on!
Follow the master!
Come on, he can't stop.
What are you doing here?
You told me to contact you
if Ellerby got out of line.
Well here I am.
I'll be right down.
Stay there, stay there.
Sh.
Sh!
Couldn't you just phone?
Look, it took me 24 hours to get here
by train, bus, taxi, and dogsled.
Do you see these black and
blue marks?
- I can show you some that
would make you cry.
- Well I got mine from a
couple of hoodlums who tried
to drag me into a cab.
Now either you hide me out right now,
or I'm pulling out of the whole thing,
and Ellerby can just go find
himself another witness.
- I'll find you a nice place
first thing in the morning.
- First thing in the morning?
What am I supposed to do for tonight?
Build myself an igloo?
- I'm cold!
- Yeah, well...
And there he was with his
head in the snow.
- Winston.
- Yes, ma'am?
Mr. Webb isn't quite up to
down to dinner. Will you see
that he has something brought
- to his room?
- Lucky he didn't break his leg.
Oh, I don't know.
After all, I didn't ask to
testify. I was requested.
- Employed.
- Well, I'd like to live long
enough to enjoy the fruits of
my employment.
After all, this isn't...
- Oh, good evening, Winston.
- Good evening, sir.
- Is there anything special
you'd like for dinner, sir?
- Dinner?
Oh yes, you can bring me some
some hot soup, a couple of
lamb chops, a baked potato,
a green...
Vegetable, lettuce tomato
salad, a piece of pie,
and a cup of coffee.
It's none of my affair, sir,
but since you are a bit under,
don't you think you should go
a little lighter on the food?
What was that?
Oh yes, you're right.
Absolutely right.
Yes, you can bring me two hot
soups, four lamb chops, a
couple of baked potatoes,
two... Well just double
everything and throw in some
ice cream.
Yes, sir.
And now a little announcement
to frustrate the practical
jokers among us.
Our two honeymooners will not
spend their bridal night here.
They're going to spend it in
blissful privacy at the
Morrison place across the lake.
- Oh.
- Well, we couldn't do that.
You see, he...
But the Morrisons
aren't due until Tuesday.
It's perfectly all right with
them. I called them when
Alonzo arrived.
Well, it's very sweet of you,
Kitty.
- But...
- I've had the servants working
all day getting it ready.
You'd like it, wouldn't you,
Alonzo?
- I can't think of anything I'd
like better.
- Well, it just seem so...
So unsociable.
Another syllable out of you,
Marsha, and I'll go in your place.
After all, how would it sound
on Ken's broadcast that you
spent your honeymoon
- with friends.
- What is it, Winston?
I'm afraid Mr. Webb is going
to be a very sick man.
Perhaps I better go up and see him.
Excuse me.
This is quite a spot
for a hideout.
Well the spot that I'm in
is quite a spot too.
You think for a minute...
Just a minute!
Hold it!
Come in, Winston.
Oh, it's you.
Well, Pete.
- I suppose you think I'm just faking.
- Well, no.
You do look a little pale.
- Quiet, Wolf.
- Yes, quiet, Wolf. Quiet.
Oh, this Roogle business.
I've never been through such a time.
- I love you, you know.
- Do you?
Doesn't my being here, my
pursuing you,
mean anything to you at all?
I suppose it should.
Wolf, there isn't anything in
there to be afraid of.
Now stop that!
You want to see for yourself?
Shall I show you?
Alright, you look for yourself.
There, you see. Nobody.
Come on.
Come on, Wolf.
Silly dog. Pete, darling, I...
Now Marsha, don't go off
half-cocked again. I told you,
Miss Simmons
- is only a material witness.
- Well she's totally immaterial now.
She was mad, wasn't she?
I can't understand why your
wife should think there was
something between us.
- What's the matter with you?
- My wife's running away with
that second hand Roogle.
- Who's Roogle?
- Her husband.
Too deep for me.
- Where'd they go?
- They went to the Morrison
place across the lake.
- At last they're going to be alone.
- Get my hat and coat.
- Who's got a car?
- Relax, Ducky, this is hardly the occasion
- ...for a chaperone.
- That's what you think.
I've got to have a car.
- There isn't any.
- There's the caretaker's jalopi.
It's hard enough for the
station wagon to make it
through the snow in the pass.
- The caretaker's jalopi would
never make it.
- It's got to make it.
Oh, the Stardale Inn is a few
miles further down the road.
- You'll be very comfortable there.
- Well you don't mind if I
- carry your bag in?
- Oh.
Charming.
Where's the bedroom?
- Thank you, I'll take it from
here. And goodnight.
- Goodnight...
Goodnight.
Marsha, open up this door!
Open it up!
Open it up, or I'll break it down!
Open up!
Where is he?
So that's where he's hiding.
- You wouldn't dare.
- Wouldn't dare what? - Strike me.
Marsha, how can you do this?
- How can you hide that man
in your room?
- It's no worse than a closet.
- She was a witness!
- Alright, so now you're a witness.
Marsha, I'm not leaving this
house until he gets out.
If necessary,
I'll sit up here all night.
You know you're not...
Wanted.
Look, either I stay, or I'm
exposing this whole silly mess.
- Where are you going?
- I'm going in the other room
to get some sleep. Good night.
You're gonna sit right here
where I can keep an eye on you.
I wouldn't put it past that...
Gentlemen friend of yours to
go sneaking through windows
or something.
Ugh, strong man.
Just not gonna let you make...
I'm just not gonna let you.
- Make a fool of yourself.
- How thoughtful.
- And gesundheit.
- Thank you.
You know, you're catching a cold.
You ought to get some sleep.
Oh no, you're not getting
rid of me that easily.
Strange things happen when
I sleep.
My wife marries a corpse
named Roogle.
You're sure you were asleep?
You can call it what you like,
I still insist.
I still insist...
I still insist I was mickey'd.
- Mickey'd?
- Yes, mickey'd.
Well, of course, you can
do as you please.
But when I feel a cold coming on,
I usually take a few Quino pills and
curl up under the covers,
and... presto!
- No cold.
- Well I'm curling up under no...
I'm curl...
You got any of those pills?
I don't know, I may have.
Do you think I need one?
Here they are.
I just happen to have them.
- How many of those things do you take?
- Oh, one or two.
If you take one or two,
I oughtta take three or four.
- Thank you.
- Your welcome.
- Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
- Just putting the water back.
Really, Pete. So unlike you,
defending a woman's honor.
- Say, would you stop that?
- Stop what?
- Yawning.
- Oh.
- Shall I play for you?
- Hm?
- The piano.
- Oh yes, liven things up in here.
What's that remind you of?
- The past.
- We certainly had our moments,
didn't we?
Well I was thinking way back
before us.
When I was a little girl.
- I bet you were cute.
- I was happy.
I was thinking of the green,
rolling hills of New Hampshire.
The warm, sensuous sunshine.
The sweet scented air of a
spring afternoon.
How I used to love to lie there.
Under the blossoming apple tree.
Staring up into the billowy,
white, fluffy clouds.
Every flower,
every bird, every insect,
seemed to be in a deep trance.
Not a sound.
- Alex!
- The Stardale Inn is a summer resort.
And it's not unusual for a summer resort
to be closed in the winter.
And my radiator froze.
And I had to walk for the last three miles.
And all the time I was
walking, I was thinking.
- Really, what about?
- I was thinking about what a
fool you are making out of me.
Oh, that. Well, I'm sorry.
- Small consolation for the way
I've been used.
- What else can I say?
Nothing, nothing.
Just permit me my just reward.
After all, we are Mr. and Mrs. Roogle.
- Don't be absurd, Alex!
- I don't consider kissing
a beautiful women absurd.
This is ridiculous, stop it!
What is the matter...
Ow!
My husband, you'll wake him.
Mm, no.
I don't think an earthquake
would wake him.
No, I'm sure an earthquake
won't wake him.
- How many did you give him?
- Three... two... none, he just dozed off.
If he wakes up, oh, he's
very jealous.
He has a terrible temper.
I don't think we have to worry
about him.
You stay there. See?
I'll go over there.
Pete. Pete!
Pete-sy boy!
Just stand still,
don't jump around.
Pete!
Pete!
This is Marsha, can you hear me?
Listen to me!
Now...
Pete! Pete!
Now...
If you make one more move...
And I'm gonna let you have it!
Oh, really, Marsha?
I object to this sort of thing!
Objection overruled.
Goodnight, boys.
Marsha.
Oh soft, white...
Pillowy clouds...
Marsha? Marsha!
Marsha!
Marsha!
Good morning, dear.
No, no, there's nobody
here but us.
- Us pidgeons.
- Now let me tell you something.
Now wait a minute. Don't
look at me like that,
I spent the night with you.
Out cold.
Sit down, have some coffee.
By the way, you snore.
And bad.
Hello. Hello, operator?
Well keep trying, the Morrison place.
Why this excitement?
You've got the appointment.
- Everything worked out fine.
- Just fine. For you.
Why didn't you tell me
what you did?
Oh now putting Pete on the train
that night didn't cause any trouble.
- And it clinched the appointment for you.
- It's last night I'm worrying
- about.
- Well what happened last night?
Absolutely nothing. But the
circumstantial evidence is
against me this time.
Hello?
Well, yes, I'll wait, operator.
I understand, old man.
There's been nothing
between Marsha and me
as yet. I have every hope
that there will be.
- What do you mean by that?
- Simply this, that I find her
an extremely attractive woman.
It's every man for himself.
No quarter asked, no quarter given.
Darvac, let me warn you...
Hello?
Now Pete, darling, don't ask
any questions, just answer this one.
You're in a honeymoon cottage.
And if I come back on my hands
and knees, will...
Would you really?
- Well don't go away.
- But you're supposed to go
back to Washington.
- What'll I tell 'em?
- Tell them I've gone back to
my job - as a wife.
But I tell you my wife
is joining me here.
And three on a honeymoon
is very bad luck.
Poor me some more coffee,
will you, old boy?
I'm staying for the winter.
The toast is burning.
One coffee coming up.
Come in, dear!
- Now, Mr. Webb.
- Oh no, not again.
Yes again. And this time, I'm
not letting you get away.
- Ginger, for the last time...
- You bet it's for the last time.
Did you know I didn't sleep
a wink last night?
I'm scared.
But there's nothing to be
scared...
No sleep?
Aw, you poor, little thing.
Why didn't you tell me? Why
don't you just sit down and
have a cup of coffee, huh?
That's better.
Can't you make these horses go
faster?
Giddy up!
- Hey!
- Oh, Marsha, darling.
I forgive you, baby.
I forgive you.
Ah, this was such a dreary
place yesterday.
Today it's lovely.
- Where you going?
- Closet. Force of habit I guess.
- You forgive me?
- Now, Marsha, wait a minute.
Hold it.
There's still a bit of evidence
to be introduced yet.
Just a couple of skeletons
in the closet.
They make a lovely couple.
the personal lives of our
judges must be above reproach.
Senator Kaswell,
may I have the floor?
Always a pleasure to yield
to a lady.
Let me ease the strain you are
putting on your Southern gallantry by
coming to the point for you.
You are concerned about my
recent divorce.
Your recent sensational divorce.
But I merely recounted the
sordid details.
- It was my ex-husband who committed them.
- Ha ha!
There's nothing you can tell me about
the dignity of the federal bench
that I haven't learned from
that distinguished jurist.
My beloved grandfather,
Judge Mackenzie Meredith.
Retired.
Gentlemen, I deeply regret
my ex-husbands conduct.
- I object!
- Overruled.
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
you have to stop trying to
turn this into a courtroom.
Alright, well then let's stop
trying to turn her into a judge.
Does she look like a judge,
I ask you?
Mr. Webb, I've repeatedly warned you
about these disturbances.
Believe me, gentlemen,
I'm sorry about my divorce
and everything that led up to it.
I wanted desperately to
make my marriage work.
My ex-husband's conduct before
this very committee makes my point for me.
It's simply that my divorce
from him was unavoidable.
It should not be held against me.
On the contrary,
were I still Mrs. Webb,
I feel I would not have the
right to ask you as I do now
to approve the appointment
for which I have been nominated.
Thank you.
Are you still trying to get
that call through to Mrs. Webb?
- Or, Miss Meredith?
- Yes, sir.
- Depositions on the Ellerby case.
- I'll look at them later, Joe.
But they're urgent.
Were you able to talk to
Marsha in Washington?
No, she's still surrounded
by her grandfather.
Kitty tells me she went off
to Palm Beach.
- Oh by the way, Mr. Ellerby is here.
- Oh, tell him...
Pete, my boy, the case of the State
versus Ellerby is in the bag.
- For the State or for Ellerby?
- Ellerby!
We found our star witness.
Yes, my boy, my investigators have finally
located Ginger Simmons.
Oh don't mention that name.
You know she won't testify, and
I'm not going to try and
change her mind again.
All night on your yacht with
her was enough for me.
- For my wife, it was too much.
- Well, Pete, she has changed her mind.
And now she's willing to talk business.
Boy, this calls for a snort.
George, now wait a minute.
It was calling for a snort that got you
into this mess in the first place.
- But Pete, this is really big.
- You'll have to wait. I have
personal business to get to.
Wait nothing, or I'm going down
to Florida to make a deal with Ginger.
- Is she in Florida?
- Yes, Stratton in Palm Beach.
Wait a minute, you can't leave
the state, you're out on bail.
Anyway, there are too many bars
in Florida, you might start snorting again.
No, no, George.
I'll do it.
I'll go.
- Mr. Webb.
- What is it?
- Ginger!
- Ellerby wired me to meet you.
- That's fine.
- I promised him I'd testify
for him against those crooks,
but a gal can't live on just
doing good deeds.
You'll be well paid.
I have other things to worry
about right now.
So have I! I'm scared.
After all, if those mobsters
find out that I'm getting on
the witness stand, they'll...
They can get awful rough,
and I want to be protected.
You will be. Now go to your
place and lay low. I'll call
first thing in the morning.
I'm thinking of nothing
but your welfare.
So I see.
Never mind, I'll get it.
Hello?
Yes?
- Who? Oh no.
- What now, a hurricane?
- Worse, Mr. Webb.
- Oh, I'll talk to him.
I'm sorry Miss Meredith,
but the judge won't like this.
The judge will like what I'm going to say.
Hello, Pete.
What?
Oh you're here? Yes you'll love it.
Oh, it's just one gay, mad whirl.
Well couldn't you stop whirling
long enough for us to have a talk?
Well we couldn't very well talk,
now could we, in front of him?
- Him? Him who?
- Oh, the gentlemen I'm dining
with. He's here now.
Oh no, darling, I couldn't.
Eight martinis is my limit.
Eight?
Marsha, you never drank...
What are you trying to do,
drown yourself?
I'll be right over.
Pete, wait a minute!
Hello? Hello?
Oh, Cleo, get my out of this
dress, I have to get out of here.
- Yes.
- When Mr. Webb comes, tell him
the gentlemen and I have gone.
- What gentlemen?
- There isn't any.
- There ain't?
- The one with the martinis.
Oh, him.
- Excuse me, may I?
- Oh, thank you.
Frightful service.
- Hmm.
- One grows rather accustomed to it.
Or are you a new arrival?
- Quite.
- I have a real treat in store
for you, Florida's charming.
Hmm.
In fact, I make rather a hobby
of showing newcomers some
of its hidden charms.
Do you happen to be down here
along?
Not quite,
I'm here with my children.
- Six.
- Oh, that's quite a family.
Quite.
Do you think the children would
mind if we had a little cocktail?
No, I would.
Sorry.
Why Marsha!
Well it sounds like a charming evening.
Do let's have cocktails first.
By all means.
Put those things in my room.
Good evening, this way, please.
- Madame would permit me to...
- I want a martini.
Two, please.
This is all perfectly delightful,
but rather confusing.
Oh, life always is,
don't you think?
Quick, good conversation.
- Conversation, I've got nothing.
- You managed very well
upstairs. Say something,
anything. A-B-C-D-F-G.
A-B-C-D-F-G?
Oh, I do think that is amusing.
I simply can't get over it.
- Cigarette?
- A lipstick.
Lipstick?
- Do tell me more.
- Well, all I can say is,
H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P.
Oh, really?
Do stop, I can't bear another word.
You are the one.
- Q-R-S-T your lipstick.
- U-V-W Lovely shade, isn't it?
X-Y-Z Lovely, but wouldn't
it look better on your lips?
You kill me.
Some initiation prank,
I guess. An Elk, no doubt.
- Are you an Elk?
- Me? You're a riot. Am I an Elk?
- Oh, why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't think you were
interested in anything
- ...but the alphabet.
- It was all for the benefit of
that man at the bar.
He's a pest from home.
Crazy.
Well, things become a little
clearer.
You must of thought I was crazy.
I was beginning to have my
suspicions.
- You know how please I am that you're not.
- Thank you.
Everybody's staring.
Let's get out of here.
- How about dinner? I have a
table at the Colonnade.
- Dinner, divine!
Say, did you see that lady?
She had lipstick...
Well.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, but I just
remembered another engagement.
- Say...
Oh, but the Colonnade sounds
like such fun.
Let's go.
- Taxi.
- Taxi!
Hold on, normal bets.
For 11, black.
- Mr. Darvac, you shouldn't
have brought me here.
- Why not?
- I've just explained, the
Senate, my appointment...
- Oh, they're very discreet.
It is quite alright.
- Well, I'm afraid Senator
Kaswell wouldn't think so.
- Senator Kaswell?
Oh, you needn't worry about him.
- You know him?
- Well, let's just say he owes me a favor.
Mr. Darvac, Mr. Gonzales
was wondering if he could talk
to you for a minute.
Thank you. I hesitate leaving
you, even for a moment.
It's quite alright,
I've decided to leave...
- Mr. Meredith...
- Hurry back, darling.
I'll meet you at the
Roulette wheel.
- Where the hell have you been?
- Sorry, but this business is
so close to pleasure,
I sometimes get the two mixed up.
I don't pay you to get mixed
up with pleasure, I pay you to
work here as a shell.
- Shill.
- Shill, shell... Look, what is
your job here?
I thought it was perfectly
understood. I'm supposed to
play heavily, attract people
to the gaming tables, shame
the more timid into playing
for higher stakes.
Well, do that.
And don't teach me no English.
- Murph will give you money.
- Tonight, I think I'll plunge.
There's someone I want
particularly to impress.
Good evening, Judge.
Investigating vice conditions?
- Your case is closed.
- Make way for the player, please.
- Make way for the players, please.
- Oh, I am a player.
- Give me some dollar chips.
- Five dollars is the minimum.
- Give me a couple thousand worth, please.
- Oh...
Here you are, sir.
That'll make these 10.
- Your favorite system?
- Oh no, I never gamble.
Well, I did once...
- And lost.
- Well, then you're sure to
win, so I'll do it for you.
A thousand on the red for the
lady in black.
- No, I couldn't let you risk
a thousand dollars on me.
- I'd risk a kingdom on you.
Oh, well, if you insist.
Police!
- You're gonna need a good lawyer.
- You leave me alone.
- You're on your own.
- Pete! Wait for me!
What do you want?
- Is that a way out?
- Yes, from old prohibition days.
Come with me to the Kasbah.
There must be a light switch
here someplace.
Oh, here it is.
Oh, uh...
Alright, come on, horse fan.
There must be another switch
here somewhere. I guess I
snapped the wrong one.
Either that or I've got my eyes closed.
Come on.
Oh!
Well you could at least
hold my hand. What do you want
me to do, break my neck?
- Shall I be frank?
- Never mind.
Oh! Pete, these cobwebs!
Get them out of my face,
they're blinding me!
If I see anything interesting,
I'll describe it to you.
Of all the inconsiderate human
beings I ever met,
you'd be... Ugh!
- Better watch out for those low pipes.
- Now he tells me.
- Oh, and watch out for that...
- Ugh!
Nail.
- Oh, you'll pay for this.
- I did.
Why on Earth did I ever come
to a place like this?
Well, fools step in where...
Pete!
Pete?
Oh, Pete.
Pete!
Pete, where are you?
Just one step ahead of you, dear.
- Well, we're out.
- I feel very definitely in.
You want me to get the cob
webs out of your face, dear?
- What face?
- You never looked like that
when we were married.
It's the way I often felt.
Now wait a minute. Hold it.
Where are you going?
Look, this whole area will be
swarming with cops. You want
to be a judge, don't you?
Every time I'm near you, there's trouble.
What'll we do?
Here's a boat. We oughtta be
able to hide out some place
until the police leave.
Say, what about that lighthouse?
They're accustomed to wrecks.
To think I used to argue
against capital punishment.
- Okay, the lighthouse.
- Your Honor.
I know you're not accustomed
to helping ladies, but
couldn't you force yourself?
Oh yes, forgive me. Oh.
- Familiar.
- Too familiar.
Just reminiscing.
Oh!
Well, thank you.
Wait a minute!
You couldn't by any chance
now come out and help me in?
You didn't seem to have any
trouble getting on that yacht
with that blonde... Witness.
- Well, she had a gangplank.
- I wondered what you saw in her.
Come on, superman.
- Salty, isn't it?
- Well, it's getting a little bit cold.
Wait a minute, I'll get back here.
We're gonna have to untie it.
Anything I can do, Admiral?
Let's see, I did this in
college once...
Well, anchors away!
Hey!
- It slipped away.
- Bring it back!
- Yeah, here, boat! Here, boat!
- Swim after it.
Swim after it...
And get eaten by a shark?
I should be so lucky.
Quiet, Sailor!
Didn't you see the sign?
It says, "Keep off!"
We just want to come in and
get dried out for a minute.
- You see, we accidentally lost out boat.
- This ain't no motel.
- Fact is, it ain't even an
active lighthouse no more.
- Oh, but it is government
property, and we're shipwrecked.
And according to the Marine Law, firmly
established in the year of 1810, and
the case of Austin versus Adams,
you are required to render
aid and comfort.
- She right?
- Legally, always.
Come on, sailor.
- What was that case you sighted.
- Make up one of your own.
Alright, Sailor, back to bed.
Right upstairs.
- Watch your heel, honey.
- You look out for yourself.
Well, what a nice and cozy
place you have here, Mr...
- The name is Roogle.
- Well how do you do?
Ours is Webb.
And mine's Meredith.
Miss Meredith.
You see,
it's a little confusing.
We used to be married.
Well, after we've dried out,
would you be good enough to
take us back to the mainland?
Well, the boat leaks.
But I'll run up the boat flag
first thing in the morning,
and somebody's bound
to take you off.
- First thing in the morning?
- I've got some dry things for you.
Well, my room's right
upstairs, and, uh,
young lady, I guess you can
sleep right here.
You.
- You're downstairs with Sailor.
- What, in the doghouse?
- What else?
- Storehouse!
- Wait a minute...
- Now looky here, young feller,
this lighthouse hasn't had a
breath of scandal in it for
more than 48 years,
- and I aim to keep it so.
- I aim to keep it so, too.
- Oh wait a minute now, Mr. Bugle.
- Roogle!
- It rhymes with Bugle!
- Alright, Roogle.
But if she says that this is
government property, and that
in the case of...
- What was that again?
- Disposition of quarters is
up to the lighthouse keeper.
- What?
- Statute 42, page 11, section
12, and this ain't no motel.
Alright, storehouse dog room.
Somebody's gonna hear about this.
He's a little tired.
Marsha, Marsha.
- What do you want?
- I want to talk to you.
- Go back to sleep.
- I can't, the dog snores.
- One more step, and I'll call Roogle.
- For heaven's sake, Marsha.
Don't you feel anything for
me anymore?
- Sure, revulsion.
- Revulsion?
Well, you must admit, we never
had any trouble until
your grandfather retired.
We never had any trouble until
that blonde retired on that yacht.
Oh Marsha, we've been over
that a thousand times.
- She was a witness. A key witness!
- Shh!
A lawyer's got to confer with
his witness doesn't he?
How's he gonna operate?
- You do all right.
- You're just like your grandfather.
You convicted me on
circumstantial evidence.
That's good enough for me.
And you leave my grandfather
out of this.
Well you're getting more like
him every day...
- Now the dog wants out.
- Can't say I blame him.
Psst! Marsha.
- Are you asleep?
- Can't you tell?
- This is the last time I'm
gonna say it, Marsha.
- Good.
That girl meant nothing to me.
Absolutely nothing.
There's never been anyone
else but you. You're the only
woman I have ever loved.
And I want you back.
I need you.
You're just cold.
Hey, git!
No!
Hey, that smells mighty good!
I'm sort of sorry I finished
my own breakfast. You do a lot
of cooking yourself?
I have to.
I married a career woman.
Aye, cutty!
I forgot to run up that boat flag.
Say, Mr. Roogle.
You've got the wrong slant on
this whole thing.
The lady and I really were
married. And uh...
Well if we could just stay
here a bit longer, we might...
Say,
you haven't got a flag there
that would keep a boat away,
have you?
- The only thing I got is this
yellow quarantine flag.
- Quarantine? Say, that's a...
Hey! Looky here, young
feller, I'm gonna run up
this boat flag.
- This ain't...
- No motel.
Whoo, that sea air certainly
whips up an appetite.
Well, darling, you just sit
right down here, and I'll fix
you some breakfast.
No thank you, I am perfectly
capable of frying my own eggs.
Not without eggs, you ain't.
A Lighthouse breakfast
consists of fish.
Fish?
I didn't expect fish for breakfast.
- They weren't expecting you either.
- Ha!
That's pretty good.
Oh.
Pardon me.
- Aren't you going to clean it?
- Oh, naturally.
I was just trying this for size.
Aren't you going to remove
the insides?
- Is that necessary?
- Not particularly,
unless you're gonna eat it.
Go ahead, simply slit it up
the soft underside, and then...
I don't like the looks of
this fish.
Why does it have to look at
me so accusingly?
Well there's one good thing
about a fish, if don't like
the way he looks at you,
you can simply chop his head off.
You have to keep your eye
on the ball.
No, look, just put the knife
right up under the gill there,
and then simply saw.
Saw?
Oh, thank you.
Mmm, good.
Have some?
I've had too much already.
Pete!
Mr. Roogle!
Yoo hoo!
There's a boat coming!
We're here, come on over!
Quarantine flag!
They're turning around.
Come back!
Ahoy!
# Let's fall in love
# Why shouldn't we fall in love?
# Da da da da...
What are the other words to that?
I'm afraid I don't remember.
You taught 'em to me.
On a ship, Mr. Roogle,
on our honeymoon.
# Now is the time for it
# While we are young
# Let's fall in...
Do you have to be a judge?
It's what Gramp wants.
- Not as much as I want you.
- But he's old and...
It means everything to him that...
- You do really want me.
- More than anything.
- Even if I have to be a judge?
- Even if you have to.
- Oh, I wish you wouldn't confuse me.
- Do you?
- Yes, I mean no...
- You mean yes.
Listen here, Cleo, you know
you should have called the
police the minute you found
out Webb was in town.
You know, darling, I think
I've gotten a bit weaker since
the last time I did this.
- No, no, darling, I've gotten
a little bit heavier.
- No you haven't...
- Marsha, you didn't!
- I did, legally.
I leave you out of my sight
for 48 hours and you wreck
your entire career.
- Just by marrying me?
- Well Pete's reformed,
haven't you, darling?
- Yes, I've reformed.
- Oh, Cleo, bring some glasses!
You stood up in Washington
and declared with unmistakable clarity
- ...that a woman who is married
to this... this...
- Jerk.
Thank you. Would not be fit to
hold the job for which you are
now waiting approval for!
- I'm afraid I did put it a bit
strongly, darling.
- It's all right, baby,
- I forgive you.
- Oh, don't do that!
- Put me down, Pete.
- You forgive her?
What about that Senate
committee? And the newspapers?
Oh, I can't bear to think...
But Gramp, I love him. Nothing
has ever stopped that, not
even the supreme court.
I know, but you'll wreck a
whole life's work.
- Your reputation, dear.
- Oh, my reputation,
I forgot all about that.
Hello, give me the desk.
Oh hello,
if you see a man prowling
around my apartment,
it isn't a man, it's my husband.
I mean, I've just been married...
That's right, that's right.
Let the whole world in on it.
- Who else have you told?
- No one, Gramp.
Has it ever occurred to you...
Here, Cleo.
Has it ever occurred to you
that if you hold this thing
back for a few more weeks,
- you may get the approval?
- Pete?
Well, it's all right with me.
But if we're gonna live
together as man and wife, it
seems that even the Senate
would prefer to know that we
were married.
Exactly, you're going to
live together.
After the appointment.
That's out, did you
hear that? That's out.
Wait a minute. Seems to me
a small enough sacrifice to make,
just to wait until that
committee meets again?
When I get to your age, maybe
it will seem small to me too.
- How old are you, Gramp?
- That's none of your business.
I guess marriages are
made in heaven.
This isn't the first time I've
been replaced by a higher court.
I've done my best. Nothing left for me
to do but to wish you both luck.
There are two kinds you know.
- You happy?
- Deliriously, and you?
Gigantically.
There's no one else I'd
rather marry.
No, you're just saying that
because it's a habit.
Hello? Hello?
Hello!
Are you sure Mr. Webb went
out with Miss Meredith?
- Yes, Miss, I'm very sure.
- Thank you.
- I'm busy, call me in the morning.
- That's what you told me two
days ago. I've been looking
all over town for you.
It's about Ellerby.
- Ellerby? He's fine, sends you
his regards.
- He brought them personally.
- He jumped bail?
- Well, he didn't hear from
you, so he flew down here.
You know what he's like when
he's drinking. Well he's
downstairs in the bar right
now, drunker than a hoot owl,
shooting his mouth off.
- Well, it's his funeral.
- And mine too. It'll only take
you about 10 minutes,
and if you don't stop him
right now, I don't know what
those mobsters will do to me.
- I know too much!
- I'm sorry.
Well than you can include me out.
- In fact, I'm getting out of the country.
- Ginger, wait a minute.
- He's downstairs?
- You could handle him
in less than 10 minutes.
All right, stay here.
Right here.
- What was it, darling?
- Honey, it looks like I've got
to leave you.
- What?
- It's just for 10 minutes,
it's an emergency, a client.
- What kind?
- It's George Ellerby, he's a man.
- He better be.
- Oh he is, it's a matter of
life and death. Honey,
- ...this time, we gotta start out
by giving a little.
- All right, I'll give,
- ...but for 10 minutes.
- Aw, you' can be really sweet
when you want to be.
- Sure I can, but only for 10 minutes.
- 10 minutes, yeah.
I'm sorry, Judge, a lower on the
Seaboard Linemen is the best I can do.
That's alright.
There are a lot of big shots
that have been cheating a lot
of little shots.
I'll find them right behind
the bars.
Why don't you go back to your table, sir.
You are disturbing the customers.
Oh yeah? Well I'm a costumer,
and I'm not disturbed.
Hey, Mack, get me another
drink, will ya? Unless...
One bourbon and soda.
- The full treatment.
- Rowdy crowd lately. I've been
buying these mickey pills
by the dozen.
And I'm not afraid to name
names either!
Hey, Webby!
I've been looking all over
the place for you.
Hey folks, I want you
to meet my attorney.
The fellow with the little
blonde rabbit up his sleeve.
- Shh!
- Free speech.
You take the first plane back
or you'll be entitled to free
board and lodging.
I'm not going that way,
my table is right over there.
Hey, what are you having to
drink, Pete? Bartender!
The same thing all around,
huh? Okay.
- This'll keep him quiet.
- You gotta get back on
a plane to New York tonight.
- Not unless she goes with me.
- You know I can't do that.
I can't lose track of her,
she's gotta go with me.
- You know I can't show my face
in New York.
- Okay,
you can get lost in New York
just as well as you can in
Florida, now let's get out.
Not 'til I have one for the
road. Hey, Mack!
- Here you are, sir.
- Oh, thank you. - Check please.
- 240, sir.
- Oh no, pardon me, but I am
the host here.
Nobody pays for anything
but me. Drink it up.
Drink it up like a good little
boy.
Drink it up, it'll relax you.
You're too tense.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Oh, you might let me finish
the drink.
- Can I be of any assistance?
- I think I can manage myself.
- Don't shove. How do you do?
- Now look, you stay away
from that bottle.
- Bottle!
- And if you can't handle him,
contact me,
no matter where I am,
even if I'm...
- What's the matter, boy?
- Yeah.
I must have drunken that drink
too fast.
Ellerby knows how to take care
of a light.
- In you go, son! Take it away!
- George...
Wait a minute!
Hold it, hold it!
- You're the one who's leaving, not me.
- Who me? No!
Take care of him.
Marsha...
You Marsha?
- No, sir, I'm Clarence.
- 10 minutes, gotta find Marsha.
- Gotta find Marsha.
- No, you mustn't. - Gotta find Marsha.
Taxi.
- Marsha? 10 minutes. Gotta find Marsha.
- Put him in.
- All right.
- Railroad station.
Oh, Cleo.
Yes, ma'am?
- Cleo, you may have the night off.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
- What you done?
- Oh, cut bangs.
Mr. Webb loves them.
Uh-huh.
- Marsha? You Marsha?
- Certainly in a bad way, sir.
- You know these farewell parties.
- I certainly do.
- Here we are, sir, beds all made up.
- Just let him sleep it off.
He's going to be married
in Philadelphia.
He is? Don't you think you
ought to undress him, sir?
- Oh, that's a good idea.
- I'll get his bag.
- He's all tucked in and
sleeping like a baby.
- I bet Mr. Klinghoffer will be
a different man in the morning.
- Who?
- Mr... Is that the way you
pronounce it, sir?
Mr. Klinghoffer, oh yes.
He will be a different man in the morning.
All aboard!
All aboard!
Mmm, 10 minutes, Marsha.
10 minutes.
Hello, Police? Has there been
an accident reported involving
a man named Webb?
Peter Webb?
That's too bad.
Porter!
Porter!
Porter!
Porter!
- Yes, Mr. Klinghoffer.
- Klinghoffer? How did I get
here? Where am I?
- Raleigh, you're just leaving
Raleigh, North Carolina.
- Raleigh?
- And a kind gentlemen put you
on board, sir.
- Take that a little slower.
- Klinghoffer?
- Yes.
- Did he put me on board?
- Oh no, a kind gentlemen
put you on board.
- Oh.
- You are Klinghoffer.
- He's awfully glad about the wedding.
- He? He who?
- With the wedding? He knew
about the wedding?
- Oh yes.
And I hope you get to
Philadelphia in time for it.
- I n time for what?
- Your wedding! - In Philadelphia?
- Yes, sir.
- Stop the train. Stop the train!
- We can't do that, sir.
- Where are my clothes?
- Not in your berth?
- No!
- They must be in your bag.
Here they are,
Mr. Klinghoffer.
I'm sure you'll find
everything you need in there.
Porter!
Porter!
- Porter?
- Yes, sir?
That man in the lower is
calling you again.
- Porter!
- I can't hear a thing.
When I saw him with that blonde,
I knew he was up to his old tricks.
His old tricks were childish
pranks compared to this one.
I can understand him wanting
to get back at me, but to
marry me in order to
accomplish the point.
Name a better way.
Hello? What?
- Oh no!
- What's wrong?
The press, they're on their
way up here.
Well I'll give them a story
that will make lawyer Webb
wish he had a lawyer.
No, Marsha, take it easy.
- We don't want the marriage to leak out.
- I'm sure Pete intends to see
- ...that it does.
- Well perhaps, but don't
worry about Pete.
He wouldn't dare.
Abusing a marriage law this way?
Why I could have him in disbarred
in every state in the union.
- Oh, Gramps, all I want is an annulment.
- Alright.
Later, but what we've got think
about right now is the appointment.
- Him and his lighthouses.
- Marsha...
Think what you could do to him
when you are a federal judge.
For the time being,
deny everything.
Hiya, Meredith, we just heard
the good news.
We'd like to get the lowdown
on your latest marriage.
- Marriage?
- Oh, come now, Miss Meredith,
you're not gonna make us dig
this up the hard way. We know
the man prowling around here
is your new husband.
The desk clerk got it straight
from you, and we got it
straight from the desk clerk.
- Is he the man?
- Yes! - No!
I mean, he is the man who
performed the ceremony.
This is my grandfather, Judge
Mackenzie Meredith.
- Hiya, Judge.
- Then you are married! Who's the groom?
Well, the groom...
Oh, that's the man I'm married to.
- I mean, yes, well...
- Well, what's his name?
- His name?
- Yes!
- Oh, his name.
- Something to identify him by.
Roogle. Alonzo K. Roogle.
- Roogle?
- That's okay, Roogle.
- It rhymes with Bugle.
- Let's have a look at him.
- Oh you couldn't meet Mr. Roogle.
- No, no, that's impossible.
- Well, why?
- Well because he...
- He's dead.
- Dead?
- Dead?
- What happened?
- Well, you see, right after our elopement.
My husband was called to his
ailing father's bedside.
In Panama.
His plane...
Crashed in Guatemala.
But there's been no passenger
plane crash reported.
Oh, my husband flew his own plane.
I'm sorry, boys, I can't talk
about it anymore.
Let us have some of the details?
Gentlemen, you have your
story. A tragic one.
From bridal gown to widow's weeds
in just one day.
Please leave us.
- Excuse us for interrupting.
- Yes, we're sorry.
And shut the door.
I've heard a lot of perjury in my day,
but nothing as slick as that.
Oh never mind the bouquets,
I'm still worried about Pete.
- Will you leave Pete to me?
- All right, he's yours, all yours.
Gramp, I've got to get out
of here.
The press will never allow
Alonzo K. Roogle to rest in peace.
Alonzo... Now you'd only think
of some place you could go to.
I don't remember...
- Kitty's invitation. The Adirondacks!
- Perfect!
- Of course, of course. Cleo!
- Yes, ma'am?
Pack my things. I'm going to
the Adirondacks to hibernate.
I'll stop in New York and get
some other clothes. Now, not
a word to anyone!
No, ma'am.
Yes? Oh, you.
- Pete?
- Yes. What do you want?
Mack, I don't want to talk to you.
I want to talk to my wife.
How dare you refer to me
as your wife.
And if you mention our
marriage to anyone, you'll
regret it all your life.
Longer.
- The idea of marrying me just to spite me.
- But honey, wait...
- I'll have you disbarred if
you breath a word of this...
- No, but honey...
Look, the whole thing was
an accident.
A fatal one.
You died last night in a plane crash.
I what?
I died in a plane...
Marsha, what are you talking
about? This is Pete!
Oh no, if you start calling me
Klinghoffer, I'm giving myself up.
Oh, you're not Klinghoffer,
you're Roogle.
Alonzo K. Roogle.
The K stands for Klinghoffer.
Here, boy. Car 27.
I'll get it.
- Good morning.
I heard you were leaving.
- Mr. Darvac.
What happened?
Where have you been?
- In jail. I thought I'd find you there.
- Look here, young man,
if you're in trouble, you have
to plead your own case.
We're in a hurry and I want
my breakfast.
I'd have been better off in
jail at that.
- I got married instead.
- Marsha!
Darling, we can hardly expect
to keep it a secret. It will
be in all the papers.
- Well congratulations.
And to you, sir.
- I'm her grandfather,
- not her groom.
- Wait a minute, Mr. Darvac
- is a very good friend of
Senator Kaswell's.
- The Senator arranged the
- government subsidy for one of
my railroads.
- Oh, I see.
- So you're off on your honeymoon?
- Oh hardly, my husband died.
- He did? When?
- Last night.
We're planning his funeral.
- Aren't we, Gramps?
- We're trying might hard.
- I wish there was something I could do.
- Marsha's going up to
Kitty Lawton's place to rest
If you're in the neighborhood,
drop around, cheer her up.
- Well, if you think that...
- Any friend of Marsha's
is a friend of Kitty's.
And any friend of Kaswell's is
a friend of mine.
Ain't that bellboy come yet?
Don't you worry, Cleo.
He'll be along in a minute.
Well that train ain't waitin'
for us, and I ain't waitin for him.
- Uh oh.
- Oh wait, Cleo.
- I'll get the elevator.
- Yes.
- There better be a diner on
that train.
- Oh, goodbye, Mr. Darvac,
you've been so nice.
- Thank you, thank you.
Auf wierdersehen.
Adirondacks...
Hey, the Laughton chauffeur
met Miss Meredith
at the same train you came on.
Why didn't you drive out with
them?
Well, I wanted to surprise her.
Sure made a big secret about
her comin' up here.
Yes, well I wouldn't have
known about it either if her
maid hadn't told me.
Of course, I had to twist
her arm a little.
We always fool around that
way, you know.
Oh. How do you do?
Come in, Mrs. Roogle,
we're expecting you.
- Marsha, darling, you poor dear.
- Hello.
- What you've been through.
- Such a shock, darling.
It was to all of us.
- Thank you.
- Come by the fire and get warm.
- You look wonderful in spite
of everything.
- Kitty, you are so sweet to
have me.
Oh, the peace of this place.
You'll never know how glad I
am to get away from people and
phones and reporters.
You know the Washington
correspondent, Ken Craig?
How do you do?
I read you every day.
- I don't believe we've ever met.
- I feel I know you.
- You've been on my typewriter
so much lately.
- He featured your tragedy
on the Sunday night broadcast,
darling.
- Oh, that was very kind.
- I chatted mostly about you.
Couldn't seem to get any
lowdown on your late husband.
Oh, Mr. Roogle was most
retiring. Actually, he lived
the life of a hermit.
- A hermit? How did you meet?
- Through his dog.
- The dog?
- Yes, the dog wasn't a hermit.
You see, he was.
It was really very romantic.
Is this a private wake,
or can anyone join?
Pete Webb, and what are you
doing here?
- How dare you joke at a time like this.
- Forgive the intrusion,
fair lady, but I bring tidings
of great joy.
What? No welcome kiss?
Oh hello, Valerie. I'll melt
the frost
from that smile when you hear my news.
Marsha,
- I've never liked you in black.
- I know.
- Only in black and blue.
- Whoa, never laid a hand on
her, except in self defense.
- I'm Pete Webb.
- This is Ken Craig,
Washington correspondent.
Sunday night radio
predictions, remember?
Oh yes, of course. Half my clients want
to sue you for libel. It's a pleasure.
- Glad to know you.
- Say, I'm awfully glad you're
here, old man...
Pete, the last time I talked
with you, I thought I made
everything quite clear.
Well that's because you did
all the talking.
Now it's my turn.
Well, speak up or shut up.
Yes, well it's about one
Roogle. Alonzo K. Roogle.
- Pete!
- You knew him?
Knew him? Well, I thought Marsha told you.
She met him through me.
- Well what about him? I have
30 million readers waiting.
- Yes, well it seems as if the
late Mr. Roogle is no longer
late. No, he's alive.
- Oh!
- Pete, you idiot.
Kitty, the smelling salts.
And some brandy.
Now, don't get excited.
She always faints when she's
overjoyed.
- Well lift her onto the couch.
- Let's see how the Boy Scouts do this.
Oh.
She's as heavy as lead!
Strange, I did this gracefully
not long ago.
With a lightweight blonde
no doubt.
- You're tidings of joy hit
like a mallet, old boy.
- Oh, she'll be alright.
Darling, this is Petey, Petey.
Can you hear me?
- Always.
Shall I call a doctor?
- Heavens no!
I mean, I'd like to be with
Pete for a while.
- Alone.
- Of course, I'm so happy for you, dear.
If you want to leave,
I'll have Winston bring your bags down.
No, Kitty, don't rush things.
No, her husband is coming here.
- Here, huh?
- Here?
Roogle is winging his way to
his happy bride at this very moment.
- What?
- Oh, keep calm, darling. This is exciting!
- I'll tell Winston there'll be
two more for dinner.
- Two more for dinner.
- You fiend. Of all the cheap,
second rate things to do.
- Fine thanks I get
- ...for sparing you the
embarrassment of your life.
- Sparing me the embarrass...
Honestly, Marsha, you didn't
think you would get away with
this phony plane crash story,
- ...did you?
- Why not? It's more original
than your witness story.
Darling, your name is in every
paper I've seen, questioned.
Is Civil Aeronautics checking
into the Roogle plane crash?
Answer: yes.
No plane, no crash.
No Roogle, no nothing.
I couldn't let them find you
out, could I?
Well it might have
taken weeks to check.
- By that time I would have had
the appointment.
- I know Civil Aeronautics.
- They'd have the full story by morning.
- Oh, you didn't by any chance
- ...suggest they do the checking, did you?
- Me?
Cross the woman that I love?
Why Marsha, use your head.
I'd like to use my nails.
Excuse me, I've got my paper
on the phone. What business
is your husband in?
- Uh, nuts.
- Brazil nuts.
Oh, thanks.
- Very funny, Mr. Webb.
- Oh, not Webb. Roogle.
Alonzo Klinghoffer Roogle.
Remember?
- Everything alright, dear?
- Oh yes, perfect.
Now I get it.
You want me to admit everything.
- Tell them I married you again
so that you could...
- Well, yes.
Unless you can dig up a
husband named Roogle.
You know, you can.
Oh Marsha, let's tell the truth.
Let's pick up where we left off.
There must be a simpler way,
like dropping dead.
After what you did to me on
our wedding...
- Oh Marsha, I was a victim of amnesia!
- Shh!
- I couldn't remember a thing.
- Including the fact that you
had just married me.
- You were with that Ginger again.
- Marsha, I started out with
Ginger, I'll admit. I went
downstairs to see Ellerby.
I don't know what happened.
I found myself on a train,
or in a pullman,
or in a lower berth.
- And alone!
- I know just how you feel.
I tell you,
somebody put me on the
train with a bag.
- Or a suitcase.
- Mistook you for a porter, no doubt.
- That was later. Marsha!
- Oh, really?
Oh there you are. Kitty's on
the phone calling people,
says we've got to celebrate.
Ducky, the helpers are busy,
bring in some firewood, will you?
Then go to town and get the
papers?
- And then what, some window washing?
- Then you can catch a train.
- From now on, I fly.
- Okay by me,
so long as you take off.
But Gramp, what could I do?
He just marched in and took over.
But Marsha, where in the name
of Christomer
are we going to find a husband
by the name of Roogle for you?
Well If I knew that, I
wouldn't be calling you.
I'm going out of my mind.
You've simply got to think
of something.
Wait a minute.
- Never mind, he's here!
- Who's there?
- Roogle!
- Roogle?
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Craig.
I'll get it, Winston, thank you.
Sweetheart, angel!
I didn't think you'd be this
glad to see me.
- How can you say a thing like
that? Come in, come in.
- We're all glad to see you,
- Mr. Roogle.
- I should say we are glad to
see you, Mr. Roogle.
- You gave us quite a scare.
- Look, I'm afraid you've got
the wrong...
You don't have to explain a thing, dear.
Pete explained everything to us.
- Pete? Pete who?
- My husband, you remember.
- The former one.
- He's only told half the story.
- My readers want the whole thing.
- Well I'm afraid they will
have to wait for it.
You're awfully tired, aren't you, dear?
- Tired?
- Of course you are. You go
along skating. See you later.
All right, I'll be seeing you.
You two deserve a little time alone.
- Follow me.
- Look, I don't wish to appear nosy,
- but what's going on around here?
- Shh!
It's all terribly involved,
but you've simply got to be
my husband for a few days.
- The dead one?
- No, that's all changed, he's alive.
- Alive? Well then supposing
he shows up?
- How could he if you're he?
- Him? He? Oh I know it doesn't
make sense, but...
- Oh, of course it does.
- I run into situations like
this every day.
- But you will be my husband
for a few days? Please?
I should be charmed to make
you Mrs. Darvac.
Oh thank you, you are an
angel. Oh,
but you can't make me Mrs. Darvac.
You see, I'm making you Mr. Roogle.
- Who?
- Roogle, it rhymes with Bugle.
Winston, will you have Rogers
clean away this snow?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Ah my gracious host.
- Well hello, Pete.
I've got the papers you wanted.
- Isn't it wonderful about
Marsha's husband?
- Marvelous, simply marvelous.
- Has he arrived yet?
- Some time ago.
Well, I guess she just
couldn't wait...
- What was that?
- I said, he arrived some time ago.
Who arrived some time ago?
Marsha's husband, Mr. Roogle.
Oh, that's impossible.
Poor Pete, you are jealous.
Come see for yourself.
Oh, hello, Pete!
Oh Pete, you know my
husband, Mr. Roogle.
This is my husband, Mr. Webb.
My former husband, that is.
I understand you were the first
to break the good news to Marsha.
Yeah, I revived you by mistake.
- May I cut in on my wife?
- On my wife.
Go ahead, but not for long.
Sorry.
How did he get here?
Who invited him?
While you were repeating your past
with Ginger, I was planning my future.
We'll see about that.
Don't look now, but are you
still wearing your snow shoes?
I wish I were.
Soon as I catch by breath, I'm
going to make an announcement.
Oh hello, Ken.
Hello there.
You go ahead and expose it.
I'm sure Mr. Craig would much
rather print
"Peter B. Webb's strays off on
his wedding night."
- That will make you look just
dandy, won't it?
- Let me tell you something.
Sorry, old man,
but it's my turn now.
Your green is showing.
Here, let me fascinate you.
Charm-brain, Whitton-cultured...
Fouie.
Now, Pete, admit it.
Marsha's never looked more radiant.
You ever seen anyone dance
more beautifully than Mr. Roogle?
- Arthur Murray.
- Whoa!
You might get the address.
This calls for a drink.
Come on, everybody.
Now I understand everything,
Marsha.
Isn't he divine? Dancing is only
one of his minor accomplishments.
You should see him on a tennis
court, or on a polo field,
or on skis. He's positively
breathtaking on skis,
- ...aren't you, darling?
- Well, I do have a trophy or two.
Oh listen to him, a trophy or two.
He only won the Sun Valley championship
in 1945, six, and seven.
- What, no Olympics?
- Just for '48.
- Wait a minute, I want to
speak to this man.
- How about a drink, darling?
- A martini?
- Perfect.
That's very interesting about
your skiing. I'm drafting you
right now as my private
- ...instructor.
- I guess that serves me right
for trying to impress Marsha.
- Oh, come now.
- No really, it's completely
out of my line.
- I'd probably break my neck.
- You're just being modest.
I really can't ski at all.
- In fact, I've never been on skis.
- Time's up, Ken.
Well, shall we sit by the fire?
Well, and what's this all
about breaking your neck?
Don't worry, I was merely
getting out of giving Mr.
Craig skiing lessons.
The way things look, looks
like we'll have little enough
time together.
Well, has Mr. Roogle won any
more skiing championships
- since the last dance?
- As a matter of fact, he has.
- Quebec, Lake Placid, Oslo...
- Really?
Let's say we go out
for a little run.
You'd like to see the champion
in action, wouldn't you?
Oh, I'd love it.
- She means she'd love seeing me shown up.
- I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty
- ...for that.
- Oh, what could happen to you?
No more than a broken neck,
- and what's a broken neck to a champion?
- Nothing.
Listen, folks, the Roogles and
I are going out for a little ski.
Anyone like to join us?
I guess they can't stand the sight
of blood, old man. Help you up.
That's a pretty treacherous
hill, isn't it?
A little thing like that
shouldn't bother you, champ.
- Oh no, I'm just worried about
you, old man.
- Me?
You needn't worry about Pete.
He always lives dangerously.
Me? No, you first.
I'll follow the master.
You stay here and watch us,
Marsha. This is very interesting.
One of us is going to surprise
you.
Are you sure you want to try this?
Rather not, eh?
Well, see you below.
- Bravo!
- I told you I was a bit rusty.
Rusty? You're about to see the man
for whom that word was coined.
Yoo hoo!
Well, come on!
Follow the master!
Come on, he can't stop.
What are you doing here?
You told me to contact you
if Ellerby got out of line.
Well here I am.
I'll be right down.
Stay there, stay there.
Sh.
Sh!
Couldn't you just phone?
Look, it took me 24 hours to get here
by train, bus, taxi, and dogsled.
Do you see these black and
blue marks?
- I can show you some that
would make you cry.
- Well I got mine from a
couple of hoodlums who tried
to drag me into a cab.
Now either you hide me out right now,
or I'm pulling out of the whole thing,
and Ellerby can just go find
himself another witness.
- I'll find you a nice place
first thing in the morning.
- First thing in the morning?
What am I supposed to do for tonight?
Build myself an igloo?
- I'm cold!
- Yeah, well...
And there he was with his
head in the snow.
- Winston.
- Yes, ma'am?
Mr. Webb isn't quite up to
down to dinner. Will you see
that he has something brought
- to his room?
- Lucky he didn't break his leg.
Oh, I don't know.
After all, I didn't ask to
testify. I was requested.
- Employed.
- Well, I'd like to live long
enough to enjoy the fruits of
my employment.
After all, this isn't...
- Oh, good evening, Winston.
- Good evening, sir.
- Is there anything special
you'd like for dinner, sir?
- Dinner?
Oh yes, you can bring me some
some hot soup, a couple of
lamb chops, a baked potato,
a green...
Vegetable, lettuce tomato
salad, a piece of pie,
and a cup of coffee.
It's none of my affair, sir,
but since you are a bit under,
don't you think you should go
a little lighter on the food?
What was that?
Oh yes, you're right.
Absolutely right.
Yes, you can bring me two hot
soups, four lamb chops, a
couple of baked potatoes,
two... Well just double
everything and throw in some
ice cream.
Yes, sir.
And now a little announcement
to frustrate the practical
jokers among us.
Our two honeymooners will not
spend their bridal night here.
They're going to spend it in
blissful privacy at the
Morrison place across the lake.
- Oh.
- Well, we couldn't do that.
You see, he...
But the Morrisons
aren't due until Tuesday.
It's perfectly all right with
them. I called them when
Alonzo arrived.
Well, it's very sweet of you,
Kitty.
- But...
- I've had the servants working
all day getting it ready.
You'd like it, wouldn't you,
Alonzo?
- I can't think of anything I'd
like better.
- Well, it just seem so...
So unsociable.
Another syllable out of you,
Marsha, and I'll go in your place.
After all, how would it sound
on Ken's broadcast that you
spent your honeymoon
- with friends.
- What is it, Winston?
I'm afraid Mr. Webb is going
to be a very sick man.
Perhaps I better go up and see him.
Excuse me.
This is quite a spot
for a hideout.
Well the spot that I'm in
is quite a spot too.
You think for a minute...
Just a minute!
Hold it!
Come in, Winston.
Oh, it's you.
Well, Pete.
- I suppose you think I'm just faking.
- Well, no.
You do look a little pale.
- Quiet, Wolf.
- Yes, quiet, Wolf. Quiet.
Oh, this Roogle business.
I've never been through such a time.
- I love you, you know.
- Do you?
Doesn't my being here, my
pursuing you,
mean anything to you at all?
I suppose it should.
Wolf, there isn't anything in
there to be afraid of.
Now stop that!
You want to see for yourself?
Shall I show you?
Alright, you look for yourself.
There, you see. Nobody.
Come on.
Come on, Wolf.
Silly dog. Pete, darling, I...
Now Marsha, don't go off
half-cocked again. I told you,
Miss Simmons
- is only a material witness.
- Well she's totally immaterial now.
She was mad, wasn't she?
I can't understand why your
wife should think there was
something between us.
- What's the matter with you?
- My wife's running away with
that second hand Roogle.
- Who's Roogle?
- Her husband.
Too deep for me.
- Where'd they go?
- They went to the Morrison
place across the lake.
- At last they're going to be alone.
- Get my hat and coat.
- Who's got a car?
- Relax, Ducky, this is hardly the occasion
- ...for a chaperone.
- That's what you think.
I've got to have a car.
- There isn't any.
- There's the caretaker's jalopi.
It's hard enough for the
station wagon to make it
through the snow in the pass.
- The caretaker's jalopi would
never make it.
- It's got to make it.
Oh, the Stardale Inn is a few
miles further down the road.
- You'll be very comfortable there.
- Well you don't mind if I
- carry your bag in?
- Oh.
Charming.
Where's the bedroom?
- Thank you, I'll take it from
here. And goodnight.
- Goodnight...
Goodnight.
Marsha, open up this door!
Open it up!
Open it up, or I'll break it down!
Open up!
Where is he?
So that's where he's hiding.
- You wouldn't dare.
- Wouldn't dare what? - Strike me.
Marsha, how can you do this?
- How can you hide that man
in your room?
- It's no worse than a closet.
- She was a witness!
- Alright, so now you're a witness.
Marsha, I'm not leaving this
house until he gets out.
If necessary,
I'll sit up here all night.
You know you're not...
Wanted.
Look, either I stay, or I'm
exposing this whole silly mess.
- Where are you going?
- I'm going in the other room
to get some sleep. Good night.
You're gonna sit right here
where I can keep an eye on you.
I wouldn't put it past that...
Gentlemen friend of yours to
go sneaking through windows
or something.
Ugh, strong man.
Just not gonna let you make...
I'm just not gonna let you.
- Make a fool of yourself.
- How thoughtful.
- And gesundheit.
- Thank you.
You know, you're catching a cold.
You ought to get some sleep.
Oh no, you're not getting
rid of me that easily.
Strange things happen when
I sleep.
My wife marries a corpse
named Roogle.
You're sure you were asleep?
You can call it what you like,
I still insist.
I still insist...
I still insist I was mickey'd.
- Mickey'd?
- Yes, mickey'd.
Well, of course, you can
do as you please.
But when I feel a cold coming on,
I usually take a few Quino pills and
curl up under the covers,
and... presto!
- No cold.
- Well I'm curling up under no...
I'm curl...
You got any of those pills?
I don't know, I may have.
Do you think I need one?
Here they are.
I just happen to have them.
- How many of those things do you take?
- Oh, one or two.
If you take one or two,
I oughtta take three or four.
- Thank you.
- Your welcome.
- Wait a minute.
Where are you going?
- Just putting the water back.
Really, Pete. So unlike you,
defending a woman's honor.
- Say, would you stop that?
- Stop what?
- Yawning.
- Oh.
- Shall I play for you?
- Hm?
- The piano.
- Oh yes, liven things up in here.
What's that remind you of?
- The past.
- We certainly had our moments,
didn't we?
Well I was thinking way back
before us.
When I was a little girl.
- I bet you were cute.
- I was happy.
I was thinking of the green,
rolling hills of New Hampshire.
The warm, sensuous sunshine.
The sweet scented air of a
spring afternoon.
How I used to love to lie there.
Under the blossoming apple tree.
Staring up into the billowy,
white, fluffy clouds.
Every flower,
every bird, every insect,
seemed to be in a deep trance.
Not a sound.
- Alex!
- The Stardale Inn is a summer resort.
And it's not unusual for a summer resort
to be closed in the winter.
And my radiator froze.
And I had to walk for the last three miles.
And all the time I was
walking, I was thinking.
- Really, what about?
- I was thinking about what a
fool you are making out of me.
Oh, that. Well, I'm sorry.
- Small consolation for the way
I've been used.
- What else can I say?
Nothing, nothing.
Just permit me my just reward.
After all, we are Mr. and Mrs. Roogle.
- Don't be absurd, Alex!
- I don't consider kissing
a beautiful women absurd.
This is ridiculous, stop it!
What is the matter...
Ow!
My husband, you'll wake him.
Mm, no.
I don't think an earthquake
would wake him.
No, I'm sure an earthquake
won't wake him.
- How many did you give him?
- Three... two... none, he just dozed off.
If he wakes up, oh, he's
very jealous.
He has a terrible temper.
I don't think we have to worry
about him.
You stay there. See?
I'll go over there.
Pete. Pete!
Pete-sy boy!
Just stand still,
don't jump around.
Pete!
Pete!
This is Marsha, can you hear me?
Listen to me!
Now...
Pete! Pete!
Now...
If you make one more move...
And I'm gonna let you have it!
Oh, really, Marsha?
I object to this sort of thing!
Objection overruled.
Goodnight, boys.
Marsha.
Oh soft, white...
Pillowy clouds...
Marsha? Marsha!
Marsha!
Marsha!
Good morning, dear.
No, no, there's nobody
here but us.
- Us pidgeons.
- Now let me tell you something.
Now wait a minute. Don't
look at me like that,
I spent the night with you.
Out cold.
Sit down, have some coffee.
By the way, you snore.
And bad.
Hello. Hello, operator?
Well keep trying, the Morrison place.
Why this excitement?
You've got the appointment.
- Everything worked out fine.
- Just fine. For you.
Why didn't you tell me
what you did?
Oh now putting Pete on the train
that night didn't cause any trouble.
- And it clinched the appointment for you.
- It's last night I'm worrying
- about.
- Well what happened last night?
Absolutely nothing. But the
circumstantial evidence is
against me this time.
Hello?
Well, yes, I'll wait, operator.
I understand, old man.
There's been nothing
between Marsha and me
as yet. I have every hope
that there will be.
- What do you mean by that?
- Simply this, that I find her
an extremely attractive woman.
It's every man for himself.
No quarter asked, no quarter given.
Darvac, let me warn you...
Hello?
Now Pete, darling, don't ask
any questions, just answer this one.
You're in a honeymoon cottage.
And if I come back on my hands
and knees, will...
Would you really?
- Well don't go away.
- But you're supposed to go
back to Washington.
- What'll I tell 'em?
- Tell them I've gone back to
my job - as a wife.
But I tell you my wife
is joining me here.
And three on a honeymoon
is very bad luck.
Poor me some more coffee,
will you, old boy?
I'm staying for the winter.
The toast is burning.
One coffee coming up.
Come in, dear!
- Now, Mr. Webb.
- Oh no, not again.
Yes again. And this time, I'm
not letting you get away.
- Ginger, for the last time...
- You bet it's for the last time.
Did you know I didn't sleep
a wink last night?
I'm scared.
But there's nothing to be
scared...
No sleep?
Aw, you poor, little thing.
Why didn't you tell me? Why
don't you just sit down and
have a cup of coffee, huh?
That's better.
Can't you make these horses go
faster?
Giddy up!
- Hey!
- Oh, Marsha, darling.
I forgive you, baby.
I forgive you.
Ah, this was such a dreary
place yesterday.
Today it's lovely.
- Where you going?
- Closet. Force of habit I guess.
- You forgive me?
- Now, Marsha, wait a minute.
Hold it.
There's still a bit of evidence
to be introduced yet.
Just a couple of skeletons
in the closet.
They make a lovely couple.