Teeth (2008) - full transcript

Man: HEY, BRAD,
DON'T SPLASH YOUR SISTER.

SHE AIN'T MY SISTER.

WELL, IT'S MY SINCERE
HOPE THAT SHE WILL BE.

Brad: NO!

HEY, TRY TO BE
FRIENDS, OK?

NO, GODDAMN IT!

HEY!

BILL.

JUST...CUT HIM
SOME SLACK.

LET'S SEE YOURS NOW.

KIM.



Child: OW! OH!

SON?

Child: OW!

WHAT'S WRONG?

WHAT HAPPENED?

BRAD?

Kim: BILL, WHAT IS IT?

WHAT IS IT?
LET ME SEE.

Kim: SHOW YOUR DAD.

Bill: LET ME SEE IT.

Bill: OH!

Kim: OH, GOD.

Bill: THAT DOESN'T
LOOK GOOD.

Kim: DAWN, HONEY,
ARE YOU OK?



Bill: DAWN, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?

Kim: DAWN? DAWN...

WE HAVE A GIFT...

A VERY PRECIOUS GIFT,

AND WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS?

DO YOU GO AROUND GIVING
THEM TO EVERYONE YOU PASS
ON THE STREET?

All: NO!

NO. THOSE WOULDN'T
BE GIFTS.

THEY'D BE LIKE A HANDOUT.

SO, WHAT ABOUT THE MOST
PRECIOUS GIFT OF ALL?

ARE YOU GONNA GIVE THAT

TO THE FIRST GUY WHO BUYS YOU
A BIG BUNCH OF ROSES?

Kids: NO!
NO WAY!

NO WAY.

AND, UM, I'M NOT JUST TALKING
TO THE, UH, GIRLS.

YOU GUYS, YOU HAVE
THE SAME GIFT TO GIVE.

ARE YOU GONNA GIVE THAT TO SOME
GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE

SHE JUST STEPPED OUT OF
A MUSIC VIDEO?

Boys: NO.

NO. YOU'RE GONNA
HOLD ON TO IT

AND SHARE IT WITH
THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN.

Boys: YEAH.
DEFINITELY.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT
THE RING IS ALL ABOUT.

THE WAY IT WRAPS
AROUND YOUR FINGER...

THAT'S TO REMIND YOU
TO KEEP YOUR GIFT WRAPPED.

WRAPPED...

UNTIL THE DAY YOU TRADE IT IN
FOR THAT OTHER RING...

THAT GOLD RING.

GET IT?

Man: ...BECAUSE YOU KNOW
THAT THIS GOES

WAY BEYOND SEX.

IF YOU USED YOUR HAND
ON YOURSELF,

DO YOU THINK THAT'S PURE?

Kids: NO WAY!

Man: AND IS ANY OF THIS
GROPING AND TOUCHING OK?

I MISSED YOU.
I MISSED YOU.

I'VE BEEN CALLING
AND CALLING.

THE JOB THAT I HAVE.

MINE, TOO.

AND MY MOM...

SHE'S SICK AGAIN, SO...

I'M SORRY, DAWN.

Boy: SORRY.

Man: THERE IS
NO BACK DOOR...

HEY, GUYS.

HI, TOBEY.
OH, TOBEY!

Boy: THIS IS OUR FRIEND
DAWN O'KEEFE.

TOBEY COBB.

TOBEY JUST MOVED HERE.

WE WERE BEST FRIENDS
BACK HOME.

HE STARTS SCHOOL
WITH US TOMORROW.

HI.

HEY.

SO I HEAR THERE'S
GONNA BE 27

PLEDGES TONIGHT
SO FAR.

NO WAY.
PHENOMENAL.

IT'S YOU, YOU KNOW.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

IT IS. PEOPLE REALLY
RELATED TO WHAT YOU SAID,

BUT ESPECIALLY THE WAY
YOU SAID IT.

Woman: HEY, DAWN!

HI, MRS. KITCHENER.

HI, BABY.
COME ON IN.

SO HOW'D IT GO?

THEY ASKED ME TO
COME BACK TO THE NEXT
ONE AND SPEAK.

WELL, OF COURSE
THEY DID.

Bill: HEY, SWEETHEART.
DID YOU HAVE FUN?

YEAH. THEY HAD
AWESOME MUSIC AND FOOD, SO...

Bill: KIM, YOU'RE
WARM, BABY.

YOU HAVE PAIN TODAY?

LET'S TALK ABOUT
YOUNG PEOPLE STUFF.

UH, GWEN AND PHIL
SAY HI.

THEY ARE SO ADORABLE.

WILLS OF IRON.

WELL, THINGS WERE
A LITTLE DIFFERENT

WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP.

HONEY.

IT IS DIFFERENT NOW.

HEY, HONEY, WE'RE
NOT COMPLAINING.

YOU ARE A BLESSING.

[HEAVY METAL
MUSIC BLARING]

BOTH OUR CHILDREN
ARE BLESSINGS.

OHHH!

BRAD!

I GOT YOU, BITCH!
I GOT YOU SO GOOD!

WHOO!

Woman:
* TO KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE

* TO DANCE WITH HIM
IN THE SHIMMERING LIGHT... *

* HE'S SO CLOSE,
I CAN FEEL HIM *

* BUT I'LL BE STRONG,
WON'T GIVE IN TO THE FEELING *

* 'CAUSE LOVE IS WORTH
WAITING FOR *

* LOVE IS WORTH WAITING FOR

* LOVE IS WORTH WAITING--

Boy: ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE.

MAKE A MOVE, STUD.

GIVE ME THAT.

WHAT?

GIVE ME IT.

Girl: LOVE IS WORTH
WAITING FOR.

Boy: WAIT. YEAH,
I'LL WAIT...

FOR A BITCH TO
GET HER PANTIES OFF.

HEY, WHAT KIND OF SODAS
DO YOU GUYS GOT, HUH?

WE GOT CHERRIES.

POP THAT CHERRY.

HOW'S YOUR--

SORRY.

HEY, TOBEY.
HEY, DAWN.

QUITE A WELCOME.

DAMN IT. GREAT.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO ACTIVELY
THWART IT.

I WAS FAIR, DUDE.

OK, DUDE.

Man: SO, QUESTIONS?

THAT'S IT, THEN,
FOR THE PENIS.

LET'S MOVE ON TO THE...

TO THE, AHEM...

UH, THE NEXT PAGE.

THE FEMALE...

PRIVATES.

UM, THERE'S SOMETHING
WEIRD IN MY BOOK--

Man: LEAVE IT.

I HAVE IT, TOO.
A STICKER.

WHAT'S IT HIDING?

Man: THE STATE SCHOOL BOARD
HAS RIGHTLY ORDERED

IT BE CONCEALED.

A DETAILED DIAGRAM OF--OF THE--

VULVA.

Boy: WHY ARE THEY
COVERING THAT UP?

Man: THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS.

THEY SHOWED
THE PENIS PICTURE.

THAT'S DIFFERENT.

HOW SO?

Different boy:
THE SAD THING IS, RYAN,

YOU'LL PROBABLY
NEVER KNOW.

Man: DAWN.

I THINK I CAN TELL YOU
HOW IT'S DIFFERENT.

GIRLS HAVE
A NATURAL MODESTY.

IT'S BUILT
INTO OUR NATURE,
SO DEPICTING...

I THINK, TOO.

OH, GREAT. I READ
ABOUT THAT ONE.

PHIL, THAT'S
RATED "R."

OH, I HEAR IT'S GOOD.

PHIL.

I'M NOT SAYING
WE SHOULD SEE IT.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

EVEN THE PG-13
IS GONNA HAVE

HEAVY
MAKING OUT.

WELL, THERE'S...

SORRY.

IT'S OK.

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

I WAS
A LITTLE KID.

NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU?

I NEVER FIGURED IT OUT.

WHAT?

I THINK SHE BIT IT.

SHE WHO?

DAWN.

A BABY BIT THE END
OF YOUR FINGER OFF?

YEAH. HIT THIS.

Dawn: HEY, GUYS,
WHERE ARE WE GOING?

Gwen: YOU'LL SEE.

Dawn: ISN'T THIS
A BIG MAKEOUT SPOT?

Gwen: ONLY AT NIGHT.

DO YOU THINK THIS
IS A GOOD IDEA?

Phil: WE'RE IN A GROUP.

WE'LL POLICE EACH OTHER.

RIGHT?

Gwen: PRIVATE
PROPERTY?

Dawn: WATCH OUT
FOR THE POISON IVY.

HEY, DAWN,
WATCH OUT FOR THIS.

WOW.

IS THAT A CAVE?

YEAH. PEOPLE
GO THERE TO...

YOU KNOW.

YOU LIKE THAT?

NO. I DO HAVE
A PERFECTLY GOOD PUSSY.

I'M SURE YOU DO.

OTHER BOYS LIKE IT
JUST FINE.

WELL, FUCK THEM,
THEN.

HEY, MOTHER!

Brad: HEY, COME ON.
GET IT. GO ON, GET IT.

OH, OH, OH.

THAT WAS A LITTLE
TOO CLOSE.

YOU GET WHAT
YOU DESERVE.

REALLY?

YEAH.

GET OUT. UGH!

BRAD!

Dawn: NO, NEVER.

YOU KNOW, IT'S NEVER
EVEN BEEN A BIG DEAL.

I JUST...

ALWAYS KNEW I WANTED
TO WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE.

SO NO ONE'S EVER
EVEN TOUCHED YOUR...

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

GOSH.

WHY. ARE--

ARE YOU?

I'M A VIRGIN.

THAT'S GREAT.

IN HIS EYES.

OH.

IT WAS JUST ONCE,
ABOUT A YEAR AND
A HALF AGO.

RIGHT.

I'M STILL DEALING
WITH THE GUILT.

ACTUALLY, YOU'RE
PROBABLY STRONGER NOW,

YOUR RESOLVE, BECAUSE
YOU'VE BEEN THERE.

I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN
THE DANGERS FIRSTHAND.

WHERE'S THE
AURORA BRIDGE?

I'LL SHOW YOU.

Girl on TV: WHAT'S HAPPENING
TO YOU TWO NEXT?

KEEP QUIET.

Woman: ALIVE?

Man: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT--

LIFE ENDURING
FOR CENTURIES LIKE THIS,

AND UNDER ALL THAT HEAT.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

PURITY.

PURITY.

BACK THEN, THESE
SNAKES WERE BORN

INTO AN ENVIRONMENT
WITH VERY LARGE MAMMALS.

SO THE DIAMONDBACKS THAT
HAVE DEVELOPED A RATTLE

HAD A BIG ADVANTAGE
OVER THOSE THAT DIDN'T.

THEY DIDN'T GET
STEPPED ON.

Girl: YOU MEAN SUDDENLY
OUT OF NOWHERE,

A BABY SNAKE WAS BORN
WITH A BIG RATTLE?

THE PREVAILING THEORY
IS THAT IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN BORN

WITH AN INCIPIENT--
PRIMITIVE.

THANK YOU, RYAN.

RATTLE-LIKE MUTATION
THAT WOULD HAVE DEVELOPED

OVER THOUSANDS OF YEARS
OF EVOLUTION,

BUT WE DON'T KNOW
FOR SURE.

GOT THAT RIGHT.

Woman: IT'S ALSO POSSIBLE
THAT IT HAPPENED

EXACTLY AS YOU SAID
AND THAT ONE DAY,

A BABY DIAMONDBACK WAS
BORN WITH A FULLY FORMED
MUTATION

THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE
EXTREMELY BENEFICIAL
TO ITS SURVIVAL.

DOES THIS SEEM IRRELEVANT
TO ALL OF YOU?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT.

NOW, I KNOW A LOT OF YOU
SUBSCRIBE TO OTHER THEORIES,

BUT HOWEVER YOU THINK THIS WAS
ALL SET IN MOTION,

IT'S ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

IT'S ABOUT WHY YOU ARE
THE WAY YOU ARE.

DAWN, THIS IS ABOUT YOU,
AND YOU MISSED IT.

Dawn: TOBEY, LISTEN.

I WAS REALLY WEIRD
THIS MORNING.

I THINK I KNOW WHY.

I HAD A REALLY
NICE TIME.

ME, TOO.

MY THOUGHTS HAVEN'T
BEEN SO PURE.

LOOK, I--

I THINK THAT WE CAN'T
GO OUT TOGETHER AGAIN--

I MEAN, EVEN
IN A GROUP...

EVEN IN A BIG GROUP.

I WAS THINKING
THE SAME THING.

JUST...

DIDN'T WANT IT
TO BE TRUE.

WE'RE SO IN SYNC.

Girl: WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU?

Brad: YOU KNOW WHAT?

FUCKING BASTARD.

Girl: I KNOW
YOU'RE LYING!

Brad: FUCK YOU!

Girl: I LOVE YOU!

YOU LOVE ME?

YES, AND YOU
LOVE ME, TOO.
YOU KNOW YOU DO.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.
I LOVE YOUR ASS.

YO.

Dawn: ARE YOU ALONE?

CAN I HAVE A SERIOUS
TALK WITH YOU?

ABOUT YOU AND MELANIE.

THERE'S NO ME
AND ANY BITCH.

OK.

FROM WHAT I HEARD
LAST NIGHT--

DID THAT
TURN YOU ON?

I KNOW WE'VE NEVER
BEEN CLOSE.

WE'VE NEVER BEEN
LIKE SISTER AND BROTHER,

AND I REALLY DON'T
KNOW WHY THAT IS.

SURE YOU DO.

YOU KNOW.

I REALLY DON'T,

BUT WHATEVER IT IS,

I'D LIKE FOR IT TO CHANGE.

YOU KNOW, ALL THAT
ABSTINENCE BULLSHIT...

WE ALL KNOW WHO
YOU'VE BEEN SAVING
YOURSELF FOR,

AND I'VE BEEN
REAL PATIENT.

DO YOU THINK I LIKE
LIVING HERE
WITH THESE ASSHOLES?

MOM AND DAD?

SO WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SET THAT
PRETTY ASS DOWN?

AAAH!

Tobey: DAWN?

I NEED TO SEE YOU.

I BROUGHT
MY BATHING SUIT.

THAT'S JUST HOW
I IMAGINED YOU
IN MY MIND.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU IMAGINED ME?

THAT'S OK.
I DID, TOO.

YOU. EXCEPT...

WITH LESS.

THIS DOES NOT FEEL
WRONG AT ALL.

PURITY.

STAY IN THERE.

I'M FREEZING.

UH, LET'S GO BACK.

OK.

CAN I JUST...

WE MADE A SECRET
PROMISE.

GET OFF.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
DO ANYTHING.

NO. NO.

DAMN IT. STOP.
DAMN IT, TOBEY.

NO!

I HAVEN'T EVEN
JERKED OFF SINCE EASTER!

I AM SAYING NO!

TOBEY, DON'T!

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.
DAWN?

DAWN?

OH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, IT'S OK. IT'S OK.

YOU'RE STILL PURE
IN HIS EYES.

NOOO!
AAH!

AAH! AAH!
OH!

AAH!

WHAT WHAT?

AAH! AAH!

GET OFF!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

GET AWAY.

AAH!

AAH!

TOBEY?

Choir: * THROW OUT
THE LIFE LINE *

* THROW OUT THE LIFE LINE

* SOMEONE IS DRIFTING AWAY

* THROW OUT THE LIFE LINE

* THROW OUT THE LIFE LINE

* SOMEONE IS SINKING TODAY

* THROW OUT THE LIFE LINE
ACROSS THE DARK WAVE *

* THERE IS A BROTHER
WHOM SOMEONE SHOULD SAVE *

* SOMEBODY'S BROTHER

* OH, WHO THEN WILL DARE

Kim: THAT YOU, HONEY?

IT'S ME.

Bill: THERE'S DINNER
IF YOU WANT A BITE.

I ATE.

THANKS.

* THROW OUT THE LIFE LINE

* THROW OUT
THE LIFE LINE *

* SOMEONE IS DRIFTING AWAY

* THROW OUT THE LIFE--

Tobey: OH! OH!

JUST WING IT, DAWN.
YOU'LL BE FINE.

Phil: YEAH. SPEAK
FROM THE HEART.

HUH?

TOBEY WILL
BE THERE.

YOU'VE SEEN HIM?

HE SAID HE WANTED
TO COME BUT HE
WOULDN'T IF...

WHEN?

A COUPLE OF
DAYS AGO.

YOU KNOW, IF IT WOULD
MAKE YOU NERVOUS.

HE SAID HE WOULDN'T
COME, BUT HE REALLY
WANTS TO SUPPORT YOU.

YAY, DAWN!

MR. VINCENT ASKED ME
TO TALK ABOUT PURITY TODAY.

All: PURITY, YES!

YEAH?

AND...

YESTERDAY...

I COULD HAVE DONE THAT...

BECAUSE YESTERDAY
I WAS PURE.

All: SHE SHALL BE
CALLED WOMAN

BECAUSE SHE WAS
TAKEN OUT OF MAN.

ADAM...

RIGHT. I CAN'T
MAKE SENSE OF IT.

UH...

IS THAT IT? IS--

IS IT--

IS IT THE ADAM INSIDE?
INSIDE?

All: BONE OF MY BONES
AND FLESH OF MY FLESH.

I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.

BUT THERE IS SOMETHING...

THERE IS SOMETHING...

INSIDE OF ME...

THAT'S LETHAL.

All: THE SERPENT.

I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

All: THE SERPENT
WILL BE IN .

I THINK WHAT DAWN
IS GETTING AT

IS SO IMPORTANT,
PEOPLE.

EXILE FROM
THE GARDEN.

The serpent. The serpent.

THOUGH IT WAS NOT PART
OF GOD'S ORIGINAL PLAN,

THANKS TO EVE
AND THE DEVIL, WE...

HEY, DAWN!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

UH, YOU KNOW,
CHECKING IT OUT.

I THOUGHT IF YOU
WERE SO INTO IT,

IT MUST BE
PRETTY COOL.

DID YOU DRIVE?

YEAH. YEAH, MY MOM
LENT ME HER CAR.

LET'S GO.
OH.

UH, LISTEN...

UM, DO YOU WANT
TO HANG OUT SOMETIME?

I MEAN, I KNOW
YOU'RE NOT INTO,
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER,

BUT, UH...

LIKE

THAT'S FUNNY.

IT'S NOT YOU.

MM-HMM.

NO BIG DEAL.

WHAT'S SO GODDAMN
FUNNY ABOUT IT?

HEY, BRAD.
I'M HERE FOR DAWN.

YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR
LEAGUE, PUSSY BOY.

EXCUSE ME?

GET THE FUCK
OFF MY PROPERTY.

UH, HEY, UH, LISTEN.

AAH!

IF YOU WANT ANY MORE
OF THAT, YOU CAN COME BY
AND SEE US AGAIN, YEAH?

AAAH!

Dawn: "THE TOOTHED VAGINA
APPEARS IN THE MYTHOLOGY

"OF MANY AND DIVERSE CULTURES
ALL OVER THE WORLD.

"IN THESE MYTHS, THE STORY
IS ALWAYS THE SAME--

"THE HERO MUST DO BATTLE
WITH THE WOMAN,

THE TOOTHED CREATURE,
AND BREAK HER POWER."

Bill: KIM, HONEY,
I'M GONNA CALL...

"THE MYTH SPRINGS FROM
A PRIMITIVE MASCULINE DREAD

"OF THE MYSTERIES OF WOMEN
IN SEXUAL UNION

"AND FEARS OF WEAKNESS,
IMPOTENCE.

"IT IS A NIGHTMARE IMAGE...

"POWER AND HORROR...
FEMALE SEXUALITY...

"THE MYTH IMAGINES SEXUAL
INTERCOURSE AS AN EPIC JOURNEY

"THAT EVERY MAN MUST MAKE
BACK TO THE WOMB,

THE DARK CRUCIBLE
THAT HATCHED HIM."

Dawn, voice-over:
DARK CRUCIBLE.

ALL RIGHT, MISS--
I CAN'T READ THIS.

COBB.

WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, MISS COBB?

IS THIS YOUR
FIRST TIME?

OK. JUST LIE DOWN.

THAT'S IT.

PUT YOUR FEET RIGHT
IN HERE IN MR. SOCKIE.

THERE AND
MR. SOCKIE...OK.

OK.

Doctor: SO I IMAGINE
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT TO EXPECT.

NOT REALLY.

WELL, DON'T WORRY.

I'M NOT GONNA
BITE YOU.

SCOOT DOWN.

SCOOT, SCOOT, SCOOT.

SCOOT DOWN. SCOOT DOWN.

COME ON. SCOOT DOWN.

SCOOT, SCOOT, SCOOT.

OK.

LET ME GUESS.

YOU'D LIKE TO START
ON BIRTH CONTROL.

NO. I JUST...

WANT TO BE
CHECKED OUT--

YOU KNOW, MAKE SURE
THAT THERE ARE NO...

ADAPTATIONS
OR ANYTHING.

I THINK THERE MIGHT
BE SOMETHING WEIRD
GOING ON INSIDE.

INDEED THERE IS.

WHAT YOU'RE PROBABLY
ADAPTING TO

IS WOMANHOOD.

YOUR BODY IS GOING
THROUGH SO MANY
CHANGES NOW.

THIS MIGHT BE
A LITTLE COLD.

I HAVE A HUNCH...

YOU ARE PERFECTLY
HEALTHY.

ARE YOU SEXUALLY
ACTIVE?

NO.

YEAH. YES.

IN THIS ROOM,

THERE ARE NO
JUDGMENTS MADE.

DEAL?

OK, THEN.

HOW'S THIS?

SHOULDN'T YOU
TELL ME?

THAT'S GOOD.

OK.

SO...

LET'S TEST
YOUR FLEXIBILITY.

OW.

LIE BACK AND RELAX.

JUST BREATHE.

BREATHE THROUGH
THE PAIN.

AH! I CAN'T!

OH!

MY GOODNESS.
YOU'RE TIGHT.

AH!

* RELAX

AH!

YES. NOW,
THERE WE GO.

WHAT? WHAT'S--

WHAT HAVE YOU
PUT IN HERE?

AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

Doctor: AAAAH!

IT'S TRUE! VAGINA DENTATA!

VAGINA DENTATA!

UH! UH! VAGINA DENTATA!

Man: THIS IS THE POLICE.
PULL OVER NOW.

PULL OVER NOW.

TOBEY?

MOM?

DAD. MOM!

AAH! OH!

MOM! MOM! NO!

HELP!

Dawn: HELP!

OH, GOD, HONEY.

SWEETHEART, YOU'VE
GOT TO GET HOME

AND GET SOME REST.

SHE'S GONNA NEED YOU
CHIPPER TOMORROW,
HMM?

GO ON.

BE CAREFUL.

Woman: WHAT IS
WRONG WITH YOU?

Brad: SHUT
THE FUCK UP.

SHUT UP!

MOM?

I'LL GET IT!

HI.

THERE'S NO ONE.

THERE'S NOBODY ELSE
THAT I CAN TALK TO.

MY MOM IS
IN THE HOSPITAL.

I HAVE TO GO
TO THE POLICE

AND TURN MYSELF IN.

POLICE?

I KILLED HIM.

YOU KILLED SOMEONE?

ALMOST TWO.

UH! UH, I'M SORRY,

BUT, I MEAN, YOU?

DENTATA.

WHAT?

IT'S LATIN
FOR TEETH--

A VAGINA THAT--

UH, YEAH. I KNOW
WHAT THAT IS.

I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU.

WHAT AGAIN?

VAGINA DENTATA.

IT'S WHAT'S
INSIDE ME.

THE DOCTOR SAID SO.

A HERO HAS TO COME
AND CONQUER THEM.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

WHO?

THE ANCIENT GREEKS
AND EGYPTIANS

AND EARLY CHRISTIANS
AND JEWS

AND POLYNESIANS AND LOTS
OF NATIVE AMERICANS.

SHH.

Boy: AHEM. UH,
I'M NOT LOOKING.

M-MY MOM TAKES THESE
FOR HER NERVES.

OK.

WHERE
ARE MY CLOTHES?

I HAVE TO GO
TO THE POLICE.

THAT PILL MIGHT MAKE YOU
A LITTLE FUZZY.

I HAVE TO CONFESS.

YEAH, BUT TOMORROW.
TOMORROW.

YOU WANT THEM TO
TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY,
DON'T YOU?

COME ON.

HAVE A SEAT.

TAKE IT.

TO THE SMARTEST,
PRETTIEST GIRL I KNOW.

THIS IS HOW I
ALWAYS DREAMED
IT WOULD BE.

OOP. OH.

OH. OH.

HEY. HEY, RELAX.
RELAX.

JUST REST.

JUST REST.
I'M RIGHT HERE.

HMM.

OH.

YOU CAN'T.

D-DO YOU WANT ME
TO STOP?

NO.

OH. GOOD.

BUT THEY'LL GET YOU.

WHO?

THE TEETH.

COME ON.

SERIOUSLY.

NO. NO, LOOK.

I'M--I'M
CONQUERING THEM.

SEE? YEAH. I'M--
I'M--I'M THE HERO.

Man: WE FOUND THIS EMBEDDED
IN THE PENILE STUMP.

SO, WHAT'S IT
FROM?

WELL, DENTITION IS
NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE.

THE ROOT DESIGN WOULD HAVE
LED ME TO ASCRIBE IT

TO THE SELACHI--
THE SHARKS AND THE RAYS.

BUT THE CROWN
MADE ME THING
OF THE CYCLOSTOMES--

THE LAMPREY.

SEE THE SERRATION
NEAR THE TIP?

SO THIS COMES FROM
A CROSS BETWEEN

A SHARK AND AN EEL,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

NO. OUR TESTS SHOW
THAT IT'S HUMAN.

HA HA!

WHAT?

UH, NOTHING.

I JUST...

I JUST CAN'T
BELIEVE IT.

I CAN'T EITHER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.

HA! RIGHT.

GRR!

I GOT IT. THANKS.

Man: YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT TO TELL US HOW THIS
HAPPENED?

WHERE YOU GOING?

I DO HAVE TO GO
TO THE POLICE.

MAYBE YOU ARE MY HERO.

SWEET.

HEY, LOSER.

AS WE SPEAK.

OH, YEAH?

Boy: SHE'S NOT THERE.

YEAH? SAY SOMETHING.

Boy: DAWN?

WHAT?

NO.
YOU HEAR THAT?

AWESOME.

HA HA HA!

YEAH.

MMM.

WHAT WAS THAT?

OH, NOTHING.

WE MADE A BET

THAT I COULD--
YOU KNOW.

UH, UH, UH.

SO YOU MADE A BET
ABOUT ME

WHEN I HAD TAKEN
A SACRED VOW
OF ABSTINENCE?

I HAD A HUNCH
THAT IT WASN'T
ALL THAT SACRED.

IT WAS, THOUGH.

YOUR MOUTH IS SAYING
ONE THING, BABE,

BUT YOUR SWEET
PUSSY IS SAYING
SOMETHING

VERY...DIFFERENT.

AH!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

OH, SHIT.

AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

OH! OH! OOOH! AAH!

SOME HERO.

[SCREAMING
CONTINUES]

MA?

YOU'RE THE DAUGHTER?

JUST A MOMENT.

HAVE A SEAT, DEAR.

SON?

SON!
HUH?

UH-UH. WE'RE
FUCKED. JESUS.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE US,
MISS, PLEASE?

I WANT YOU
OUT OF HERE.

OUT.

WHAT?

YUP.

ALL RIGHT.
SO IT'S KIM, HUH?

THE OLD CUNT'S
MAKING ME KICK YOU
TO THE CURB,

IS THAT WHAT'S
GOING--

OH!

Man: WHEN IT RAINS,
IT POURS.

Woman: I KNOW, RIGHT?

THERE HAS GOT TO BE
A STORY HERE.

HE WAS IN
A DELIRIUM.

HARDLY SEEMS WORTH IT.

YOU WANT ME
OUT OF HERE,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO THROW ME OUT.

I SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT
A LONG TIME AGO.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD HAVE.

Brad: MOTHER!

UH!

BRAD!

Brad: YEAH, WHO'S
KICKING WHO OUT
NOW, OLD MAN?

AAH!

PLEASE.

PLEASE, SON.

WHY'D YOU HAVE TO
MARRY HER?

OH, GOD. I KNOW
YOU LOVED YOUR MOTHER.

MY MOTHER? I DON'T
EVEN REMEMBER
THAT BITCH.

WHAT?

YOU MADE HER
MY SISTER.

I LOVED HER, DAD.

SHE LOVES YOU, TOO.

SO VERY MUCH.

SHE DOES.

MOTHER, SHUT UP.

HEY! GET BACK
IN YOUR CAGE!

GET!

OH.

I'M SORRY.

SHE WAS SCREAMING,
BUT BRAD SAID JUST
TO IGNORE IT,

THAT SHE DID THAT
ALL THE TIME.

I'M SO SORRY.

WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS NOW?

ARE YOU AFRAID?

WHOO. THIS IS
TOO FUCKING WEIRD.

JUST WAIT.

WAIT.

OW.

WHAT ARE YOU--

NO. NO. STOP IT.

OH, GOD.

YEAH.

UH.

OH.

YOU SEE WHAT
WE'VE BEEN MISSING?

WE ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD
PLAY OUT THIS WAY

EVENTUALLY, DIDN'T WE?

EVER SINCE WE
WERE LITTLE KIDS...

UH.

UH.

AAH!

AAH!

WHERE...

OH...

Brad: MOTHER,
GET HER!

DROP IT.

Brad: NO!

NO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!

WAIT.

DAWN, DON'T LEAVE ME!

Man: * I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO PUT THE BOMP
IN THE BOMP SHOOBY DOOBY BOMP? *

* WHO PUT THE RAM IN
THE RAMA LAMA DING DONG? *

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO PUT THE BOMP IN THE BOMP
SHOOBY DOOBY BOMP? *

* WHO PUT THE RAM IN THE
RAMA LAMA DING DONG? *

* YOU DID

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WAKE ME UP IF
I SHOULD DRIFT AWAY, I *

* DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING

* TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME
ALL AROUND *

* I DON'T CARE

* WHERE WE'RE GOING

* WHO GOT THE GROOVE
AND MADE IT FLOW? *

* WHO PROVED THAT ANYTHING
WAS POSSIBLE? *

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO BUILT THE HOUSE
AND BROUGHT IT DOWN? *

* WHO RAISED THE ROOF
AND NEVER MADE A SOUND? *

* YOU DID

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WAKE ME UP IF I SHOULD
DRIFT AWAY, I *

* DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING

* TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME
ALL AROUND *

* I DON'T CARE

* WHERE WE'RE GOING

* I GOT A

* I GOT A LETTER

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO ROSE RIGHT OUT
OF THE MORNING MIST? *

* OPENED MY HEART
LIKE A BABY'S FIST *

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO CLEARED THE STATIC
AND MADE IT SING? *

* WHO PUT THE WHEEL
ON THE GRAVY TRAIN? *

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* YOU DID

* WAKE ME UP IF I SHOULD
DRIFT AWAY, I *

* DON'T WANT TO MISS
A THING *

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* TAKE MY HAND AND LEAD ME
ALL AROUND *

* I DON'T CARE

* WHERE WE'RE GOING

* WHO PUT THE FLIP
IN THE FLIPPITY FLOP? *

* WHO PUT THE HIP
IN THE HIPPITY HOP? *

* WHO PUT THE BOOM
IN THE BOOM BOOM SHAKA LAKA *

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO PUT THE BOMP IN
THE BOMP SHOOBY DOOBY BOMP? *

* WHO PUT THE RAM
IN THE RAMA LAMA DING DONG? *

* WHO PUT THE WANG
IN THE WANG DANG DO? *

* BABY, YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* I GOT, I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO PUT THE FLIP
IN THE FLIPPITY FLOP? *

* WHO PUT THE HIP
IN THE HIPPITY HOP? *

* WHO PUT THE BOOM
IN THE BOOM BOOM SHAKA LAKA? *

* YOU DID

* I GOT A LETTER
THIS MORNING *

* WHO PUT THE BOMP
IN THE... *

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