Teenage Dirtbag (2009) - full transcript

Sturmer.

So, how was the funeral?

You know, the usual.

Close the lid. Cover with dirt.

-Any of your female cousins there?
-Not really.

-Get any phone numbers?
-No.

-What have you been up to?
-A lot.

-Who's that next to Leibnitz?
-His noble mother.

-Our little prince.
-What did you do?

Women don't get horny
until they're 30.

They get their kicks
by wielding power over men



and only enjoy sex
when they start to wilt.

-Really?
-Really.

Did you cry?
We want to know what it's like.

-I didn't cry. Did you?
-No, I've never been to a funeral.

Dyrbusch. Bogatsch.

-Breathe into this.
-I'm sober, officer.

That's what you think, big shot.

Leibnitz. Well?

Wonderful. Next.

Was the hunt a success, gentlemen?

It works.

Okay, thanks.

My condolences.

Was it your father's or mother's side?



-Mother's.
-Okay.

How is she coping?

-All right.
-Good.

-I'll unpack.
-Wait. Before you unpack...

You had special leave
but I can't make exceptions.

-Fill it up.
-Can I do it later?

Sure. No problem.

Konstantin, you can always come to me.

The fall from grace.

The moment human beings
learn good from bad

they are like God and God fears that.

The serpent is sneaky

and tells the couple
they have to eat it.

The woman eats it
and persuades Adam to do so too.

Are you listening? Sturmer!

-You get it, don't you?
-Yes, of course.

Man lost his innocence, or paradise,

before eating
from the Tree of Knowledge.

He lost it when he was told not to.
Get it?

No, I don't follow.

Speaking of paradise,

shall we take Sturmer with us
to the dacha?

What dacha?

Our countryside summer residence.

Count me in.

It's not that simple.

Go on.

No fiig leaf.

I deem

Sturmer worthy.

Joining us or not?

Leibnitz is chicken. Want to go back?

No.

We're almost there.

Wow! What is this place?

How did you arrange all this?
The chairs are comfy.

I just went to the campsite manager
and said I needed a dacha.

His eyes lit up
and he made scores of suggestions.

Just acting in accordance with
his assigned role as service provider.

Spontaneously. Fascinating.

For a small tip
he'll do more than that.

Cheers.

Drink up.

Your attention, please.

We have assembled today

to eternally renounce living a lie
and public school kid stuff.

Self-denial,

morals, discipline.

Social service. Bullshit!

That's not reality.

Cheers.

We are what we are,
have what we have

and must go forward.

Starting right now.

We have undreamed-of opportunities.
Like this place.

We must defend our fort
with all means.

It's our secret. Everyone agreed?.

Anyone who talks has had it.

A retreat.

A playground.
A secluded, exclusive think tank.

-And a place to fuck.
-To fucking!

Cheers.

What else have we got here?

Dumped by our parents.

In the middle of nowhere.
I'll square with you.

You're my family.

By the way, Dyrbusch, "Think tank!"

Bullshit. Muff.

And money. They're our objectives.

Okay, Bogatsch.
Muff and money.

But take a look at yourself.

What would you have to do
to attain these objectives

if you weren't Bogatsch
but a normal creep?

That's what interests me.

Good.

Let's play the game.

Longings of a Creep

versus Muff

and Money.

What are you willing to do

to improve your lot in life?

Concretely.

Concretely?

I...

I can't help it.

I didn't have a chance.

Nobody wants to help me.

Where is your self-respect,
your self-discipline?

How do you think
you'll make it like that?

Come.

If that's how he wants it
you accept the offer.

Bark properly.

Be a doggy. A real doggy.

Bark like a dog. Like a dog!

Bark! Bark! Bark!

I want a doggy. Come on! Bark!

Bark like a dog. Do it right.

Sturmer, get off my hand!

Keller, Lehmann.

You were arguing again in the hall
after 11 p.m. last night.

It's starting to piss me off.
Were you in the hall?

-Know anything?
-No.

Then it's okay.

It was about a lid.

Some lid or other.
I have no idea what kind.

But that's no reason

to wake me in the middle of the night.

I'd ask you to take that to heart
and not disturb my night's rest.

Now for ourwork assignments
in the coming week.

Sturmer, Abbaz: rubbish.

Bogatsch, Erler:
washrooms and toilets.

Leibnitz, Dyrbusch: kitchen duty.
Klos, Lindemann:

common room and hallway.

Now for the mail.

One letter for von Leibnitz. Well?

Well? Well? Yes.

Thanks.

And this packet for Sturmer.

Don't open until tomorrow.
It's bad luck.

Stop! Stop, gentlemen.

Wait. Just a minute, please.

Don't forget to sign out.
Signing out, very important.

-Sparkling wine, four glasses?
-Here.

20 euros, please.

Could you put it on the table?

In the corner.

-How much was it?
-20.

Keep the change.

-Have a nice evening.
-You too.

Apologize to the lady.

Let's go.

That won't do any good.

-lt isn't broken, is it?
-Be careful!

I'll kill that wanker.

Is that for me?

-lt has what it takes.
-Guys!

We can't do that.

If they find out we'll be expelled.

Problem: urine test.

Solution...
fill bottles with clean piss.

Keep them in a fridge in your room.
Pass the test.

-Whose piss?
-What did you contribute to the party?

-Not me.
-Listen.

-First little piggy has a birthday.
-That would be me!

Second little piggy
sorted out the goods.

Third little piggy provides the plan.

The fourth donates body fluid.

We'll have to heat it
before handing it in.

-He won't know the difference.
-Good. Follow his example.

-That's constructive.
-I'm drunk.

The test only detects drugs.

It's just a little leak.
You act like Satan wants your soul.

-I don't want to.
-Sturmer, take your share.

Come on.

It's cold!

Let her by. She's headed my way.

Jump, jump, jump!

Get out of here!

Hey, you're wet.

-What?
-Nothing.

Here come a few more.

Well?

Are you off for the night?

-Did your nose stop bleeding?
-Yes.

Was he your boyfriend?

-Maybe.
-He was in a funny mood.

-Think so?
-Have you spent everything?

-Shall I carry your bag?
-No, thanks.

-What's your name?
-Vaneska.

Vaneska.

That's a pretty name.

Isn't it risky
walking by the lake alone?

-Why should it be?
-Just wondering.

You're naked. I'm dressed.

You don't say!

Cool it. Give her a chance.

Say, do you feel like playing
a little game with us?

What kind of game?

-What game?
-Know why we're here?

One of us is celebrating his birthday.
I thought you might like...

Wait.
You might like to guess who it is.

And guess what the prize is.

-You can go. Otherwise you can't.
-I don't want to go.

Try and guess anyway.

Not you.

Not you.

I've seen you somewhere before.

That's enough. Let her guess.

-Guess! Guess!
-Come on.

-Play.
-Kiss my arse!

-I'd love to.
-I really should go.

-I have to go.
-Don't go.

You'll get your prize in a minute.

-I don't give a shit who turned 18!
-Give her a chance.

Let me go!

Keep quiet.

Quiet. Nobody will hurt you.

I'm letting you loose.

Pigs! No!

-Dyrbusch.
-Just for a little while.

-lt won't take long.
-Help!

Help!

-Just a little bit.
-No!

This is fucked-up!

You pig! You pig!

Are you crazy?

That was my fiirst time.

For what?

Snorting coke.

It was crystal.
Congratulations, anyway.

We were on the verge
of something indescribable.

It would have been a thrill
to see her go for broke.

Just when it was getting fun,
you copped out.

Prince Leibnitz seized the chance
and shafted us.

He didn't mean to.

He didn't understand your fun.

Neither did l.

What's your goal, Konstantin?

Just a little fun?

Or everything and more.

We should decide
how to do it differently next time.

Ambiguous rubbish.
So you can screw us next time?

Nonsense! Leibnitz will apologize.
To Bogatsch too.

How many times have you apologized?

It's meaningless.

We have to decide once and for all

who's with us and who isn't.

And take appropriate steps.

And set rules for the eventuality
that one of us cocks things up.

We can do that.

That's precisely what we'll do.

I'll sum it up.

Leibnitz sniffed coke.

We all did.

He lost control of himself.

He made fools of us.

But he's terribly sorry.

He wants to apologize.

He wants the group to stay together.

So he deserves a second chance.
Right?

Good, Sturmer.

-Does the accused have a final plea?
-Guilty on all counts.

Cheers.

Time for some fun.

But what you did yesterday
was really crap.

It was just a bit offun.

You just don't understand.

In what way concretely

do you intend to make amends?

Today we embrace
a fruit of the modern age.

Civilized white torture.

Clean torture. It leaves no marks.

Are you listening?
Today's special.

Tickling until you faint.

Leibnitz, what's wrong?

Or laughing to death.

Give me a hand!

Not in his face.

What about you?

Mum!

No!

No!

Want more?

Harder.

You haven't finished your meal.

Why should we eat it?

Eating all the time?

-That hurts!
-Good morning.

The good boy is here.

-How can anyone be so rough?
-Stop it, Gran.

Gran.

Careful. Careful.

We'll do that later.

I'll roll you over.

Nice and easy.

Have you two met?

She's my granddaughter, Vaneska.

But now the good boy is here.

Always there when you need him.

Yes. Take care of yourself, Gran.

-When will you be back?
-Soon.

Wait a minute!

That night we wouldn't really have...

Done what?

Coward!

-Wait!
-What planet do you live on?

Think you can take anything you want?

Dad forks out a fat cheque
and it's all forgotten.

Who are those arseholes
you hang out with?

That pompous guy.

That sycophantic coward.

And you're Miss Perfect, are you?

Pay more attention
to your grandmother.

I see her twice a week.
You, once a year.

-ls that relevant?
-Absolutely.

Kiss my arse!

You kiss my arse!

They're my friends.

-We went a bit too far.
-What's that?

We went too far.

I'll report you to the police.

You know you won't.

I don't know
what goes on in your heads,

but it scares me.

Happy belated 18th birthday.

He didn't hurt you.

I bumped into Vaneska.

Who?

You know.

The girl at the lake.

What did you tell her?

-Nothing. Don't worry.
-I'm not worried.

Are you going to the dacha tonight?

-Coming?
-Yes.

Everything all right?.

Why do you let them
treat you that way?

You got a screw loose?

Tell me right now
why you let them do it!

-Stay out of it. They're basket cases.
-What are you?

What are you?

What the hell do they need you for?

Why? Why do you go along with it?

I was hoping

you'd make other suggestions

besides going to Monaco,
which is really a bit too far.

In other words I took it upon myself

to reflect upon the subject

and came up with the idea

oftravelling to Dresden
this coming Saturday.

To extend

our cultural horizons.

Right.

Here are the details.

We'll leave on Saturday.
Klos, Lindemann!

Could you focus for a minute

and have the courtesy

to let me finish my briefing?

7 a.m. alarm call on Saturday.

Breakfast together at eight.

At nine we gather out front

and take a bus to see the city.

The Zwinger, the green castle dome,
and time permitting,

the Church of Our Lady.

It's supposed to be grand
after reconstruction.

That's it fortoday. Thank you.

Leibnitz.

We have to meet.

-No.
-Yes.

-Where?
-All right. On the dam.

We have private counselling.

Did you forget? Come in.

Your record is brilliant as always.

But performance and concentration
are only one side of the coin.

If you neglect
the world around you

you stop living.

If you shut other people out,

what's life worth?

-Nothing.
-You see.

This isn't an examination.
There's no right or wrong answer.

We can exchange views frankly here.

What's getting to you?

Is it the death in the family?

It wasn't my idea.

Leibnitz and I just went along.

And...

At first it was all harmless.

And...

Then we were at the lake.

A young lady came by.

She flirted with us.

She kissed me.

-One thing led to the other.
-What's her name?

Vaneska.

Great, Konstantin!

Don't look at me like that.

Don't forget,

I was your age once.

The confusing feelings, ups and downs.

You don't know how.

You don't know why.

Konstantin,

become more active.

Get involved, participate.
It will work out.

What did he want?

Nothing.

You have to tell him.

No.

Why not?

Do you know what they'd do to us?

How should I know?

All I know is this has to stop.

You have to end it.

You have to put a stop to it.

They'll lay off one day.

No, they won't.

Here you are.

We have an appointment.

I'm not coming.

You're not coming?

What's wrong?

What do you want me for?

We'd like to know
what you want us for.

What a load of rubbish.

What's next on the agenda?

-Let him go!
-No.

"Appropriate steps."
Those were your words.

You told me that here. Remember?

You're a stupid arsehole!

Now, now. No insults.

We only did
what you were too afraid to do.

You should thank us.

You understand?

It was you who put
the little prince in his predicament.

-Me?
-Yes. You're in deep.

I'm telling you! Did you fuck?

Come on!

Now he's finished!
Now he's finished!

And you're scared
of the consequences again.

He's going to snuff it
and you can't handle it.

You're chicken!

Bogatsch, he stopped moving!

Shit.

Shit.

Do something!

-It's your fault!
-Bogatsch!

-You killed him.
-Just get help!

Don't just stand around!

Go for help!

Come in, Sturmer.

From now on count me out.

I won't squeal on you.

But I'm out of this.

And you leave Leibnitz alone, okay?

No, it's not okay. No deal.

Nobody's going anywhere.

No copping out over the barrel.

What do you suggest?

Should he beat himself?

Besides, I think it's
a great experience for each of us.

-lt is for me at least.
-For me too.

And if you're honest, Sturmer,
for you too.

Fuck you!

Sturmer is right.

But the political mood
in eastern Germany...

Carry on, gentlemen.

Leibnitz, do you have a minute for me?

-Yes.
-Then come along.

You wouldn't do that at home.

What ifhe blabs?

You still don't get it.

Our little prince.

The richest of us all.

Aristocratic. Gifted.

Listen. He wants to belong.

To be indispensable.

To be a sheep among sheep.

He won't blab. I promise.

What's wrong with you?

It's really about time

to tell the truth.

Don't make it hard for yourself.

Come on.

All right.

You can't escape your problems

by inducing imaginary states of mind.

By losing sight of reality.

Why, Konstantin,

do people who can have anything

go to a dominatrix to be flogged
with a cat-o'-nine-tails?

Look it up.

I have it under control.

Bogatsch has it under control.

But do you have yourself
under control?

Drugs are no answer.

I don't take drugs.

That can't be true.

I want to know who it was.

Who was it?

Listen to me.

They saw you when you were jogging.

You are the freak with no friends.

And you're up to here in shit.

Because I want it that way.

What a pity.

But that can be checked.

Come on, Leibnitz.

Leave morals out of it.

You don't know the score.

They can't pin anything on us.

Come tonight and you're one of us.

Please.

Just a minute.
Leave the door open.

I want to go home.

I'll look the other way.

What's the matter with you?
Leibnitz, wait a second.

I can't do it.

See you tonight at the dacha.

No.

-Just fill up this tube. That's all.
-I want to go home.

Come on, Leibnitz.

-I won't do it.
-Yes, you will.

I'm not doing it!

-I want to go home!
-lt will be all right.

-I want to go home!
-Everything's all right.

Come to me. It's okay.

-It's only me.
-Please, I don't want to.

What's that?

Show me that.
What is that?

I want to go home.

I want to go home!
I want to go home!

Leibnitz!

What happened?

Copyright @ 2008 TITELBILD, Berlin
Subtitles: Alan Wildblood et al.