Töchter (2021) - full transcript
What color have you got there?
It's nice.
I'm all done.
Two hours of work
and that's how you look?
I look better than you do
with those fake eyelashes.
I'm a girl.
It's normal to wear them.
At least you can tell the difference.
I'm great at applying makeup.
They should give me an Oscar for it.
Hurry it up a bit.
We're running out of time.
Just a sec.
Give me some of that spray.
You don't need any.
You're hardly wearing any makeup.
That man is looking our way.
Is he looking at you or at me?
Just at you.
You know yesterday at the station...
I was so close to biting that man.
That idiot kept following us
and shouting abuse at us.
Who does he think he is?
They keep shouting
"Sin! Sin!" at us.
Isn't the fact that they drink alcohol
and go to brothels a sin?
That's the real sin.
If they know how free this country is,
then why did they come here?
But lots of people are like that.
I'm going to educate them all.
The toilets are over there.
When I walk through town,
people look at me strangely.
They shout abuse at me
and laugh at me.
I recently signed up for a German language
course, but I quit after the first day.
The people there
just kept picking on me.
I even cried.
I heard them badmouthing me.
Even the teacher was mocking me.
I wish to transition
into a complete woman
and live here in peace.
The problem is that my parents
would never accept that.
That really upsets me.
I can't take it. If I don't see my mother
for a week, I feel like I'm going to die.
Take more rice.
Mariam, when you decide
to wear a headscarf,
then you'll have to wear it forever.
Not just every now and then.
You'll have to bear the responsibility
and that's that.
Otherwise, you'll be committing a sin.
Where are your brothers?
I have no idea.
They're still out and about, spending
their money on unnecessary things.
On useless things.
Syrian sources confirm that ten civilians
have been injured and five killed
by the Syrian regime
and Iranian militia in Reif Daraa.
The city of Haraak
and the village of Aqraba have been hit.
The situation is very hard
in the Syrian refugee camps in Lebanon.
These dilapidated tents
were erected seven years ago,
when the war in Syria drove hundreds of
thousands of Syrians to flee to Lebanon.
-I won! I won! I won!
-No.
-I won!
-Come on. I'll win now.
When I was about 16 years old,
I began to realize
that I was different to other people.
At first I thought
that I was the only one.
Then I realized
my brother was also like me.
But he didn't tell me.
I figured it out on my own,
as he was behaving the same way as me.
With time, he built up more courage
and talked to me about it.
I realized that he was talking to boys
on the phone and so on.
I'd been doing exactly the same.
Then we knew that we were both the same.
He loved what I loved.
He listened to what I listened to.
We even have the same taste in men.
We like the same type of beard on men.
Yeah.
Come. Dance with me.
Of course we're ashamed of it.
Imagine you had two sons
and they both turned into women.
It's incredibly hard for us.
They tell us that's just the way they are,
but it's hard for us to comprehend.
I ask our dear God
for our children to become men again.
Their mother asks them, "What are
you doing?", but they never answer.
When I ask them, they say that we're
not modern. That we're old-fashioned.
Then we tell them, "Look after yourselves,
but, please, think of us, too".
As parents, we also want
to be taken into consideration.
The people here at the home
look at us with contempt.
They say, "Look!
Those parents are infidels".
They say, "Those parents
can't control their children".
Their behavior is jeopardizing
their siblings' futures.
No one will want to marry them, as they'll
think their kids will inherit the problem.
They're not only messing up
their own future, but the entire family's.
Mahmoud's makeup was gorgeous yesterday.
Where did he learn to do it?
They learned how to apply makeup
through YouTube tutorials.
And now they're pretty good at it.
It looks great.
I'd like to be able
to apply makeup like that, too.
Yes, it's beautiful,
but when they were younger...
They weren't as good?
No, when they were younger...
they were normal.
They started changing later on.
Yes.
They were nicer when they were young.
They're like women now.
But that's what they want.
Even the deceased
have an issue with it, right?
But they look so beautiful
with makeup on.
They should do my makeup sometime.
Yes, yes.
-Do you want to let it grow longer?
-Excuse me?
-Have you already had some of this cut?
-Yes, I have.
You should let it grow out a bit.
It doesn't look so nice.
Yes, you're right.
-You shouldn't cut it that way.
-Okay.
Do you have any siblings?
Yes, I have three brothers.
-Three brothers?
-Yes.
-Are they cute?
-Yes.
Where do they live?
One day, in Syria, my aunt and
my grandpa said, "He has to marry a woman.
If he marries a woman,
everything will be okay."
And I said,
"No! I don't want to. I can't.".
Then my father came to me
and he was really angry.
He tore up all of my clothes and my stuff.
He destroyed my makeup,
my PlayStation and my laptop.
I was really scared
and I went like this...
He wanted to hit me,
but my mother came between us.
And then we heard about
the freedom they had in Europe.
My father said
we were going to go to Europe
but he didn't realize
how free things were here.
Here in Europe,
I can do whatever I want.
Should I take it off or leave it on?
-Should I take it off?
-No, it looks good.
You look nice. You're not ugly,
you know, you skinny thing.
Yes, I'm skinny, sister.
Could I have a cigarette?
The cigarettes are outside.
Slowly, slowly, or it'll be ruined.
It's not ruined.
Did she put on a black bra?
Yes, it goes well with this.
Pull it down a bit.
It's my dad.
Hello?
I'm fine, thanks.
I'm with my friends.
Yes, yes.
Yes, okay.
Okay. Bye, then.
-Yes.
-Yes.
You have to assert yourself.
To say, "This is what I am.
What do you want from me?
What's the problem?"
My mom is a devout Muslim.
She even wears a headscarf.
She always says, "No, you can't do that.
That's not good. You're a man".
I tell her,
"This is Germany. I'm free here".
Then she says, "You may be in Germany,
but you're not German.
You're also an Arab.
You're also a Muslim.
Why are you behaving this way?"
Do you want them to think it's great
that you're a trans woman?
You know what I mean?
Would you like it if they were to say,
"Great, Mahmoud...
We support you.
You can put your makeup on at home.
We support you in your search for..."
Yes, and I don't know why my parents
always ask me, "Why do you do that?".
I'm fine with that.
I love my parents, too, but...
It drives me crazy that they always ask,
"Why are you like this? Why?".
And if my mom and dad were fine with it,
then I'd also be fine with it.
Yes, I live with them.
That's fine.
They are my parents, after all.
What can I do?
-Do you have any olives?
-Olives? No.
Oh, yes. Here.
And any "Nido" baby formula?
For my husband's wife.
I've got formula, too. Wait.
THE MATH BOOK 2
I always have to cook, wash and clean
for you and no one ever helps me.
I've told you a thousand times, you have
to wear long clothes during Ramadan.
Yeah, sure.
Your kids are monsters.
Never full.
Yes, my kids are monsters.
You're speaking of yourself.
Thank God I only eat dinner.
I hardly ever have breakfast.
Only two, three times a month, max.
Eat up.
-Were you at school today?
-Yes, but I went home early.
How come?
I was home at around twelve.
I was quite tired.
You don't have a clear head
and you're quite tense.
Yes, otherwise I'd be better at
reading, writing and speaking.
I understand the teacher quite well,
but I also forget a lot.
I can't learn things by heart.
I forget what I've learned straight away.
You said so yourself.
I need a clear head for that.
It's your own fault, too.
That's easy for you to say.
You have to stop worrying.
Want to ruin your own life for your kids?
They do whatever they want
and no one is taking care of you.
-It's not down to me.
-No one looks after you.
It's not that simple.
I know, but soon they will each go their
own path and you'll be left all alone.
Try to take better care of yourself.
Go buy yourself some new clothes,
put some makeup on...
You're looking a lot older.
My children are wearing me down.
-Yes, I know.
-I look older because of my children.
-Children are the weakness in our lifes.
-Because of my children.
These are the eyes.
-That's it.
-It still looks like an alien.
-I'll use my scarf.
-And my hat!
What about the eyebrows?
Everyone is jealous of me,
everyone is talking about me.
But I don't care,
I am happy and single.
I laugh at them
and they are all jealous.
I don't care what others say.
If you don't understand something,
tell me so I can repeat it
or explain it differently.
-Okay.
-Just say, "I don't understand".
As you know, we'll be doing
an MRI of your brains
to see whether
everything's okay with them.
To see whether
the hormone production is in check. Okay?
You need to remove
your pants and your shoes.
You need to take off your bra.
Then you can put your T-shirt back on.
And please remove all your jewelry.
-Earrings, rings, necklaces...
-Everything...
Pants, shoes, bra, T-shirt and jewelry.
-Okay. My makeup, too?
-No. You can leave that on.
No, just your jewelry.
All metal things.
No blotchy T2 lesion
in the cerebrums' white matter.
Inconspicuous signal behavior
in the brain stem and the cerebellum.
No diffusion impairment can be defined.
We noticed it just before we left Syria.
To be honest, it really scared us,
because we lived in family clans
which followed strict traditions,
and such things
are really dangerous there.
Not everyone would accept such a thing.
For example, when someone dies
or when someone does something forbidden,
the news travels really fast.
And if your wife or your son
does something forbidden
and you don't kill them for it,
then you have to leave.
But who is capable
of killing their own child?
Your child is part of your soul.
Your wife, your son and your daughter
are all part of your soul.
I didn't raise them to then kill them.
I really, really worry about them.
And about my entire family, too.
If I'd killed them, I'd be in jail
and my children wouldn't have a provider.
And neither would my two wives.
Who would take care of them?
Do you need anything else?
No, just the tomato sauce and that's it.
I don't know where my lighter is.
Do you have it?
No.
Oh! I have it.
We've been working
and deserve a smoke, right?
Sure.
Mariam, wait until
I've put the meat on it.
-Let her do it, so she can learn.
-The dough is sticking to the board.
-It's sticking?
-Put some flour on your hands.
Is "Sheikh" stuffed vegetables?
"Sheikh el Mahshi" is stuffed with meat...
and onions.
Exactly. That's how I used to make it.
I think you made it for us
in Damascus once.
When I was still pregnant with Yahia.
That's the first time I'd tried it.
It was so delicious the time I made it.
But my children didn't eat it.
My children like it.
My second wife asked me
how I was meant to marry her and love her,
seeing as I already had another wife.
I told her it wouldn't be a problem.
Everything in life is down to fate.
A second marriage is considered strange
and forbidden here in Germany.
Germans don't understand.
But, for us, it's completely normal.
It's normal to have three or four wives.
But the Germans haven't said
anything bad about it.
On the contrary,
when a police officer saw us...
That was in Croatia.
He showed us a lot more respect, because
Talib has two wives and so many children.
Give him some food.
What are your plans for Saturday?
I think I'll just stay at my guy's.
All you do is stay in.
If you don't come out on Saturday,
I'll break off all contact with you.
And if I cook,
I won't give you any of my food.
Do you want me to lose my guy or what?
God, no!
I wouldn't want that.
I'd never want for you to suffer.
If only you could feel
what my heart feels,
then you'd know how much I love him.
Then you'd understand.
I hope he stays with you.
My love, you have to pull them up a bit.
One can see your legs.
Where do you see my legs?
I pulled them all the way up.
No, you didn't.
If you pull them up here,
then they will look darker up here.
-Then the bottom part will be lighter.
-I don't mind if the bottom is lighter.
See it now?
Yes, it's just as light.
No, it's not.
They look better pulled up.
That's how they are, darling.
Look. They're better this way.
Right?
Yes. I got dressed in a hurry.
When people look at you, they shouldn't
think you got dressed in a hurry.
Give me a sip of your juice.
My throat is all dry.
Oh, your beautiful mouth.
When I met Amar,
it was my first contact
with a transgender person.
I only like
completely transitioned transsexuals.
Everything. Not just half-half.
If she's not planning to transition
completely, then I break off all contact.
One should only transition
when they feel like they're 100% female.
If not, they should leave it.
I accept everything,
but that's my opinion on the matter.
Those who completely transition
into a woman
will gain my respect
and I'll be happy for them.
No clubs and without many men.
I don't like such things.
In love?
No, men just want sex.
Yeah...
Just sex and fun
and "send me pictures" and so on.
They don't say, "I love you"
or "You're my heart".
Just sex. Yeah...
What can I do?
I don't stand a chance.
I need to get big breasts.
I need to become a real girl.
Then a man will marry me.
Then I'll go to school, get a job...
I'll be able to do anything I want.
People will look at me and think,
"She's a girl".
No one will laugh at me anymore.
Have you heard of cup sizes A, B, C?
-Yes.
-You'd be about a C.
And the available sizes
are 400 and 450 gm?
No, there are more,
but they start at 400 gm.
I have no idea what 400 gm look like.
Let me show you a picture
and you can tell me what size they are.
-I've got up to 550 gm, right?
-Yes. 500 to 550 gm.
I've got from 550 to 600 gm.
That's probably too much.
You're slim.
I can't give you 600 gm ones.
They'd look like balloons.
In my opinion, I think 450 gm ones
would look good on you.
Those are more than 650 gm.
-But they don't look so big.
-Look at this.
-What are those?
-Those are Kylie Jenner's.
600 gm? 700 gm?
-No, I think they're less.
-They're definitely more than 650 gm.
Here's another picture of her.
Those are more than 600...
But she has the same body type as me.
My dear, you have a flat stomach
and you're slim.
600 gm will never suit you,
but I'll do it if you want me to.
I'm going to gain some weight.
My dear, I have some 600s here.
Makes no difference to me.
Check out the plant.
I think the other one is prettier.
How are you?
-Fine. I went to see a doctor last week.
-Yes.
I went to see a doctor
regarding silicone breasts.
Yes.
He took a look at my breasts and my body.
And he said that my body was suitable.
If there happen to be
any complications afterwards,
the insurance won't cover it.
You'll have to cover
the expenses yourself.
As it hasn't been authorized
by the insurance company.
And I'm not too sure whether
it's so urgent that it has to be done now.
Wouldn't you rather wait
until next year to have it done?
I've already waited for so long.
I'd like to get all the operations done
tomorrow if I could.
-But is that reasonable?
-Yes. I want to be just like a woman.
As I said, I can only go down
the normal route with you.
I want the normal route, too.
But what you're suggesting
isn't the normal route.
Are there many transsexuals in Frankfurt?
On the streets? In the parks? Where?
Where are the transsexuals?
The transsexuals have a big apartment
from which they can work.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Like a brothel for transsexuals.
People work there for 50 Euro.
-50 Euro?
-I think it's for 15 Euro.
-50 or 15?
-50.
50.
-Five, zero.
-Five, zero, yes.
50! 50.
But there's not much money in Frankfurt.
When I write that I do it for money,
they say, "No, bye".
Even when old people write to me and I say
I do it for money, they say "bye".
There's a lot of money in Stuttgart.
-Come out.
-No.
-Come on. Come out.
-Leave me alone.
Come out.
I said you should just try it on.
Yes.
Does it look good?
Yes.
Take another look in the mirror.
The jewels here are pretty.
Where there are trees it's always pretty.
And the air is better and it's cooler.
We've only got one tree.
We should move to Shaharazad's home.
The home is nicer
and the location is better.
If we move at some point,
your brothers will have to come with us.
I can't leave them on their own.
-They're too chaotic.
-They can't live on their own.
The clothes they wear are beautiful.
Maybe I could borrow some sometime.
Look over there, darling.
How's your boyfriend?
My love?
He's sweet like honey.
May God be with you.
Thanks, my love.
Close your eyes, please.
He's really nice to me.
He's a good person and he loves me.
Do you want to get married?
-Yes.
-How wonderful.
But only after I've had the operation
and I have a vagina.
When you have a vagina,
you'll marry him.
Yeah, why not?
But you look great now.
-Thank you, darling.
-This therapy...
I've been taking the hormones
for six months now.
God willing, it will take another year.
And then I'll be perfect.
God willing.
I don't care whether I'm permitted to have
the operation or not. I'm doing it.
People always say everything is a sin.
Everything's a sin to you.
Why isn't it a sin?
It's going to make me feel good.
So, how can it be a sin?
So, if you're born with one eye you can't
have an operation because it's a sin?
That's different.
It might not make you happy.
It will make me happy.
I'm unhappy now.
I'll be happy once I've had the operation.
What will people say?
What will God say?
He gave it to you.
How can you cut it off?
It's mine.
I decide if it's useful or not.
You should have patience and faith.
You can get medical treatment.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm being patient.
I'm having the operation and that's that.
You'll have to answer to God.
I'm thinking about the afterlife.
Nothing's been for free for me
in this world.
Let me be happy in this world.
The afterlife is worth more
than your life in this world.
I'm going to be happy in this life
and in the afterlife.
Why are you looking at women's profiles?
It's my cousin's profile.
You're looking at the women
he's friends with.
I'm checking out what they've written.
Don't look at it!
The apartment is beautifully situated
here on this street.
I'd love to have an apartment like this.
Look at all the people.
I won't accept it if cosmetic surgery
were to change the taste of your lips,
or if I were to touch fake things.
Honestly, people aren't happy with it.
Many of those who've had cosmetic surgery
have lost everything.
You are and will always be a woman
as beautiful as the full moon.
Hopefully God will stop those
who don't need it from doing it.
Everyone will taste death.
May God bless your soul, Amar.
You were a good person.
May God bless your soul.
Don't move. Lie down.
The other side, too.
You're going to be
the most beautiful dead girl.
Even Sabah wasn't buried like this.
-Not the head.
-No, I'm not doing the head.
I'm making you a pillow.
Keep your head still.
Darling, how do you want us
to celebrate our wedding?
The main thing is
that I want to have a beautiful dress.
And I want all my friends
and relatives to be there.
And I want to have it at a
beautiful ballroom with beautiful music.
Which friends will you invite?
I'll know by then.
Tell me now.
There might be someone
I don't want to invite.
Not now. Later.
Don't worry.
I won't invite anyone you don't like.
In order for the health insurance company
to pay for your sex reassignment surgery
you need a psychiatrist to diagnose you
as having gender dysphoria
and to confirm that you don't have
any other psychiatric disorders,
such as borderline or schizophrenia.
And you also need proof that you've been
seeing a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist
for at least 18 months.
Can I have an operation later on
that will enable me to have a child?
To have a child of my own?
That won't be possible.
During sex reassignment surgery
they create a vagina,
but no womb is created.
No uterus and no ovaries.
You need a womb or a uterus
for a baby to grow.
Yeah, but I could buy one
and they could create one for me.
No artificially inseminated egg
has ever been implanted
as far as I know.
Medical science can perform miracles.
I know that a lot of people wish
to live a normal life after the operation.
For example, finding a husband
and even marrying.
I know of such cases,
but as for having a baby, no.
That's another dimension
that will be quite hard to reach.
-So, we have to take it step by step.
-Yes.
Thank you.
How much does the pasta cost?
See? We stick to our traditions
and still buy our food from you.
Thanks, but not for me.
It would be best for you
if you quit smoking.
I smoked for 20 years.
I quit four years ago.
Hello. Good day.
I'm a transsexual
and I'd like to book an appointment.
What would you like?
An appointment.
What?
For psycholotherapy.
What sort of therapy?
I didn't understand what you said.
For psycholotherapy.
Shallot therapy?
No.
Chemotherapy?
Or what?
Could I come by
so I could talk about myself?
I'm really sorry,
but I don't understand what you want.
Okay. Very well.
Do you have a letter of referral?
Yes.
And what does it say?
"Psycholologist."
So... Hello, there.
So... How may I help you?
I'm a transsexual
and I'd like to book an appointment.
For what?
To talk about myself.
I didn't quite get that.
Could you repeat that?
For psycholotherapy.
Shallot therapy?
Exactly.
Exactly...
I don't quite know what that is.
Are they roasted yet?
No, not yet.
Switch off the hob once they're done.
Damn it!
You can still see my beard.
You can cover it up with more makeup.
Hello?
Hey, sister!
Are you going to work?
I'm going to work. But not yet. Later.
Lohan, have you met someone new?
Yes, I was out until five last night.
I swear on the beauty of your eyes.
Good job!
Of course! I'm your sister.
I'm doing the things you like.
What was he?
He was half German, half...
What was it again? Half French.
Bravo!
Of course.
Keep it up.
Not good.
It is good. Don't talk like that
about yourself, dummy.
Some just love trans women, while others
just want to try something new.
Know what I mean?
Some of my friends are saying,
"You dummy. If you transition completely,
no one will be interested in you anymore.
If you transition completely, you'll be a
normal woman and men won't be interested.
So you should stay in the trans area."
I told them that
I don't care what people think.
I'm doing it for myself.
For my own wellbeing.
So...
it's for me and not for the men
who only care about my body.
I want to look good.
I want to be happy
when I look in the mirror.
I want to be beautiful for me.
So... Okay.
-So, what's 3a?
-38.18
-38 point?
-18.
18. Exactly. 38.08.
That's important. 38.08.
Unit?
-Unit? How much of what do you have?
-Euros.
Now the other way around.
How do we get from 600 to 100?
If I divide it by 6, it makes 4.80 Euro.
Divided by 6?
-80.
-Write it down.
What about 10?
Sometimes I think about killing myself.
-About killing yourself?
-Yes.
-What do you mean by that?
-Like, take pills...
Or... to jump from a mountain...
So, you fantasize about,
"I don't want to live anymore,
the whole process is so exhausting."
Because my life is hard.
Life is hard
when you're trans.
I want to live my life as a normal woman.
And, at the same time,
I've gotten to know you as a trans woman,
and I see you as being...
"Yes, I'm a transsexual and that's that."
And you're very self-confident
when it comes to that, which is great.
Did you eat a lot yesterday?
-Why?
-You feel heavier.
No, I didn't eat much.
-Nice?
-Yes.
Really? Tell me the truth.
Could you find another dress for me?
Could you find another dress for me?
Take that one.
This dress is really well made.
Find me a nice, long dress.
-What are you doing?
-I'm talking to him, not you.
-Why are you insulting me?
-I am talking to him.
What do you want from me?
You think you're German?
You're also an Arab.
You think I'm from Germany.
-Just be glad you're here.
-Keep walking, asshole!
What did he want?
Why was he talking to me in German?
I didn't understand him.
I asked him what he wanted
and he said he was talking to you, not me.
How am I meant to understand what
he's saying when he's talking in German?
If he wants something,
he should talk in Arabic.
Yes, he answered in German.
If he'd chatted me up in Arabic,
I could've replied.
I know Arabic words
that would even make his God tremble.
So why is he speaking to me in German?
Act more feminine. If a man wants
to talk to us, let me do the talking.
He wouldn't have gotten it
if I weren't loud.
If I'd spoken quietly,
he wouldn't have taken me seriously.
I can show him I'm a strong woman.
But he asked me,
"Why are you looking at me?".
But he left once I started talking to him.
I sure showed him.
Cool!
Awesome!
It doesn't work.
Wait. I'll turn on the camera.
Do it, already!
Great!
You have to fasten the strap
from the front.
How was it again?
You fasten it here.
Like this?
-I'll cancel the men.
-Are you sure?
There's no place to fuck.
Or I'll check if we can do it in a car.
Then you'll have enough space.
So, now slowly lean backwards.
How's that?
It's better like that.
That's better.
So, Lohan, this is a song about you.
I'm a rocket and everywhere I go
people are crazy about me.
I'm a bomb from Lebanon and America,
so beautiful, people can't believe it.
You're jealous of me
and I'll reveal your secrets.
I'm a strong woman, like a mountain
that can't be moved by the wind.
Bomb, dance, explosion.
Hey, beautiful, come dance with me.
If you have a problem with me
I'll blow you up.
When I was in a relationship,
it felt really nice.
Since we split up, it's been the opposite.
I hate thinking about it.
Why am I half-half
and made to suffer for it?
We suffer from the operations.
We hide away to protect ourselves
from people's comments.
We have a lot of operations ahead of us.
But even once we're done with them,
people in our society
still won't accept us.
The singer Haiifa Magic
had to go through a lot, too.
She even cried during a live performance.
She said she experienced hell on earth
and had to go through a lot
in order to be accepted by society.
Yet, people still reproach her
for having been a man once.
People still don't understand
that she's a real woman now.
She looks like a normal woman.
Why are they still reproaching her?
What did she ever do to people?
God will judge her.
Not the people.
When I look at
old pictures of my children,
I feel happier
than when I look at them now.
I wish they'd remained young forever.
No mother wants her children
to live like this.
I hoped they'd be married, young men
and that I'd be surrounded by
daughters-in-law and grandchildren.
Am I right?
Things would be fine
if they were happy with that.
But I don't feel as though they're happy.
They'll never be happy, as they'll never
have a future in the situation they're in.
They're not taking any path.
You get the feeling
they're running down a dead-end street.
But then I always think
that they're still young
and they don't understand much
about the world.
Maybe they're not mature enough yet.
But what can I say?
They're still my children.
Your own flesh and blood.
You can't just abandon them.
I want to show you something.
Write, "Why do you want us to meet?".
We'll see how things will turn out.
We're in God's hands.
We're in God's hands.
And we'll see what happens.
I'll finally be rid of all this shit.
I'll tell you a bit about the procedure.
-Okay.
-It'll take three to four hours, okay?
Then you'll be taken to the anesthetic
recovery room and then to the ward.
What we'll do is remove the testicles
and the epididymis.
Then you'll be
permanently infertile, okay?
The penis will partially be removed.
At least the main part of it.
And we'll construct a new vagina.
New labia majora and labia minora.
The glans penis will be made into
a new clitoris and clitoral hood.
-Okay.
-Okay?
I'm a bit scared.
There's nothing to be scared of, okay?
We'll take good care of you.
Our doctors will. Then we'll pick you up.
-You'll dose off and have pleasant dreams.
-Okay.
Are your parents here?
-No, they're in Stuttgart.
-In Stuttgart.
Okay. You can... Wait. I'll start.
-Like this?
-No. You can...
You can see it.
First, a stitch. That's it.
-Okay. So... That goes there.
-Okay.
The clitoris should go there.
Forceps.
How much skin have we got? Is that okay?
Great.
Could you adjust the light a bit?
Hello?
Lohan?
I just woke up from the operation.
Thanks, my love.
I'm in a lot of pain.
I can't really talk right now.
I'm in too much pain.
I'll call you later.
Okay, bye.
I'm in a lot of pain. I can't...
I...
What year are you in now?
Eighth.
I've also heard
that you're working for Dr. Martin.
-What do you do there?
-An internship.
What kind of internship?
An apprenticeship?
First, an internship and then I can either
do an apprenticeship or stay in school.
-Did I get any mail?
-No, there was only mail for Mahmoud.
I have to change my name on the mailbox.
What name have you chosen?
Samar.
That's how I'm registered, too.
I've been calling you that for ages.
Mom can't say it.
-Whatever. As long as you call me Samar.
-Yes, we will.
She needs time.
You're laughing?
Who threw the ball at my head?
-Wahrde?
-Yes.
I'm not going in the middle.
To the side.
Come play with us.
Ismail!
Don't you have homework to do?
Your homework?
Hurry up, then.
I went to see Dr. Khalid today
and he didn't recognize me.
The same happened to me
when I went to the dentist's.
I asked him if he still wanted
to treat me as a boy,
but he said, "No, you're a girl now,
so you will be treated as such".
I hope my voice will improve
after the next operation.
Many people also think that I'm a girl.
That's good.
Subtitles: Georgina Avgerinou-Panagiotou
textimbild köln
It's nice.
I'm all done.
Two hours of work
and that's how you look?
I look better than you do
with those fake eyelashes.
I'm a girl.
It's normal to wear them.
At least you can tell the difference.
I'm great at applying makeup.
They should give me an Oscar for it.
Hurry it up a bit.
We're running out of time.
Just a sec.
Give me some of that spray.
You don't need any.
You're hardly wearing any makeup.
That man is looking our way.
Is he looking at you or at me?
Just at you.
You know yesterday at the station...
I was so close to biting that man.
That idiot kept following us
and shouting abuse at us.
Who does he think he is?
They keep shouting
"Sin! Sin!" at us.
Isn't the fact that they drink alcohol
and go to brothels a sin?
That's the real sin.
If they know how free this country is,
then why did they come here?
But lots of people are like that.
I'm going to educate them all.
The toilets are over there.
When I walk through town,
people look at me strangely.
They shout abuse at me
and laugh at me.
I recently signed up for a German language
course, but I quit after the first day.
The people there
just kept picking on me.
I even cried.
I heard them badmouthing me.
Even the teacher was mocking me.
I wish to transition
into a complete woman
and live here in peace.
The problem is that my parents
would never accept that.
That really upsets me.
I can't take it. If I don't see my mother
for a week, I feel like I'm going to die.
Take more rice.
Mariam, when you decide
to wear a headscarf,
then you'll have to wear it forever.
Not just every now and then.
You'll have to bear the responsibility
and that's that.
Otherwise, you'll be committing a sin.
Where are your brothers?
I have no idea.
They're still out and about, spending
their money on unnecessary things.
On useless things.
Syrian sources confirm that ten civilians
have been injured and five killed
by the Syrian regime
and Iranian militia in Reif Daraa.
The city of Haraak
and the village of Aqraba have been hit.
The situation is very hard
in the Syrian refugee camps in Lebanon.
These dilapidated tents
were erected seven years ago,
when the war in Syria drove hundreds of
thousands of Syrians to flee to Lebanon.
-I won! I won! I won!
-No.
-I won!
-Come on. I'll win now.
When I was about 16 years old,
I began to realize
that I was different to other people.
At first I thought
that I was the only one.
Then I realized
my brother was also like me.
But he didn't tell me.
I figured it out on my own,
as he was behaving the same way as me.
With time, he built up more courage
and talked to me about it.
I realized that he was talking to boys
on the phone and so on.
I'd been doing exactly the same.
Then we knew that we were both the same.
He loved what I loved.
He listened to what I listened to.
We even have the same taste in men.
We like the same type of beard on men.
Yeah.
Come. Dance with me.
Of course we're ashamed of it.
Imagine you had two sons
and they both turned into women.
It's incredibly hard for us.
They tell us that's just the way they are,
but it's hard for us to comprehend.
I ask our dear God
for our children to become men again.
Their mother asks them, "What are
you doing?", but they never answer.
When I ask them, they say that we're
not modern. That we're old-fashioned.
Then we tell them, "Look after yourselves,
but, please, think of us, too".
As parents, we also want
to be taken into consideration.
The people here at the home
look at us with contempt.
They say, "Look!
Those parents are infidels".
They say, "Those parents
can't control their children".
Their behavior is jeopardizing
their siblings' futures.
No one will want to marry them, as they'll
think their kids will inherit the problem.
They're not only messing up
their own future, but the entire family's.
Mahmoud's makeup was gorgeous yesterday.
Where did he learn to do it?
They learned how to apply makeup
through YouTube tutorials.
And now they're pretty good at it.
It looks great.
I'd like to be able
to apply makeup like that, too.
Yes, it's beautiful,
but when they were younger...
They weren't as good?
No, when they were younger...
they were normal.
They started changing later on.
Yes.
They were nicer when they were young.
They're like women now.
But that's what they want.
Even the deceased
have an issue with it, right?
But they look so beautiful
with makeup on.
They should do my makeup sometime.
Yes, yes.
-Do you want to let it grow longer?
-Excuse me?
-Have you already had some of this cut?
-Yes, I have.
You should let it grow out a bit.
It doesn't look so nice.
Yes, you're right.
-You shouldn't cut it that way.
-Okay.
Do you have any siblings?
Yes, I have three brothers.
-Three brothers?
-Yes.
-Are they cute?
-Yes.
Where do they live?
One day, in Syria, my aunt and
my grandpa said, "He has to marry a woman.
If he marries a woman,
everything will be okay."
And I said,
"No! I don't want to. I can't.".
Then my father came to me
and he was really angry.
He tore up all of my clothes and my stuff.
He destroyed my makeup,
my PlayStation and my laptop.
I was really scared
and I went like this...
He wanted to hit me,
but my mother came between us.
And then we heard about
the freedom they had in Europe.
My father said
we were going to go to Europe
but he didn't realize
how free things were here.
Here in Europe,
I can do whatever I want.
Should I take it off or leave it on?
-Should I take it off?
-No, it looks good.
You look nice. You're not ugly,
you know, you skinny thing.
Yes, I'm skinny, sister.
Could I have a cigarette?
The cigarettes are outside.
Slowly, slowly, or it'll be ruined.
It's not ruined.
Did she put on a black bra?
Yes, it goes well with this.
Pull it down a bit.
It's my dad.
Hello?
I'm fine, thanks.
I'm with my friends.
Yes, yes.
Yes, okay.
Okay. Bye, then.
-Yes.
-Yes.
You have to assert yourself.
To say, "This is what I am.
What do you want from me?
What's the problem?"
My mom is a devout Muslim.
She even wears a headscarf.
She always says, "No, you can't do that.
That's not good. You're a man".
I tell her,
"This is Germany. I'm free here".
Then she says, "You may be in Germany,
but you're not German.
You're also an Arab.
You're also a Muslim.
Why are you behaving this way?"
Do you want them to think it's great
that you're a trans woman?
You know what I mean?
Would you like it if they were to say,
"Great, Mahmoud...
We support you.
You can put your makeup on at home.
We support you in your search for..."
Yes, and I don't know why my parents
always ask me, "Why do you do that?".
I'm fine with that.
I love my parents, too, but...
It drives me crazy that they always ask,
"Why are you like this? Why?".
And if my mom and dad were fine with it,
then I'd also be fine with it.
Yes, I live with them.
That's fine.
They are my parents, after all.
What can I do?
-Do you have any olives?
-Olives? No.
Oh, yes. Here.
And any "Nido" baby formula?
For my husband's wife.
I've got formula, too. Wait.
THE MATH BOOK 2
I always have to cook, wash and clean
for you and no one ever helps me.
I've told you a thousand times, you have
to wear long clothes during Ramadan.
Yeah, sure.
Your kids are monsters.
Never full.
Yes, my kids are monsters.
You're speaking of yourself.
Thank God I only eat dinner.
I hardly ever have breakfast.
Only two, three times a month, max.
Eat up.
-Were you at school today?
-Yes, but I went home early.
How come?
I was home at around twelve.
I was quite tired.
You don't have a clear head
and you're quite tense.
Yes, otherwise I'd be better at
reading, writing and speaking.
I understand the teacher quite well,
but I also forget a lot.
I can't learn things by heart.
I forget what I've learned straight away.
You said so yourself.
I need a clear head for that.
It's your own fault, too.
That's easy for you to say.
You have to stop worrying.
Want to ruin your own life for your kids?
They do whatever they want
and no one is taking care of you.
-It's not down to me.
-No one looks after you.
It's not that simple.
I know, but soon they will each go their
own path and you'll be left all alone.
Try to take better care of yourself.
Go buy yourself some new clothes,
put some makeup on...
You're looking a lot older.
My children are wearing me down.
-Yes, I know.
-I look older because of my children.
-Children are the weakness in our lifes.
-Because of my children.
These are the eyes.
-That's it.
-It still looks like an alien.
-I'll use my scarf.
-And my hat!
What about the eyebrows?
Everyone is jealous of me,
everyone is talking about me.
But I don't care,
I am happy and single.
I laugh at them
and they are all jealous.
I don't care what others say.
If you don't understand something,
tell me so I can repeat it
or explain it differently.
-Okay.
-Just say, "I don't understand".
As you know, we'll be doing
an MRI of your brains
to see whether
everything's okay with them.
To see whether
the hormone production is in check. Okay?
You need to remove
your pants and your shoes.
You need to take off your bra.
Then you can put your T-shirt back on.
And please remove all your jewelry.
-Earrings, rings, necklaces...
-Everything...
Pants, shoes, bra, T-shirt and jewelry.
-Okay. My makeup, too?
-No. You can leave that on.
No, just your jewelry.
All metal things.
No blotchy T2 lesion
in the cerebrums' white matter.
Inconspicuous signal behavior
in the brain stem and the cerebellum.
No diffusion impairment can be defined.
We noticed it just before we left Syria.
To be honest, it really scared us,
because we lived in family clans
which followed strict traditions,
and such things
are really dangerous there.
Not everyone would accept such a thing.
For example, when someone dies
or when someone does something forbidden,
the news travels really fast.
And if your wife or your son
does something forbidden
and you don't kill them for it,
then you have to leave.
But who is capable
of killing their own child?
Your child is part of your soul.
Your wife, your son and your daughter
are all part of your soul.
I didn't raise them to then kill them.
I really, really worry about them.
And about my entire family, too.
If I'd killed them, I'd be in jail
and my children wouldn't have a provider.
And neither would my two wives.
Who would take care of them?
Do you need anything else?
No, just the tomato sauce and that's it.
I don't know where my lighter is.
Do you have it?
No.
Oh! I have it.
We've been working
and deserve a smoke, right?
Sure.
Mariam, wait until
I've put the meat on it.
-Let her do it, so she can learn.
-The dough is sticking to the board.
-It's sticking?
-Put some flour on your hands.
Is "Sheikh" stuffed vegetables?
"Sheikh el Mahshi" is stuffed with meat...
and onions.
Exactly. That's how I used to make it.
I think you made it for us
in Damascus once.
When I was still pregnant with Yahia.
That's the first time I'd tried it.
It was so delicious the time I made it.
But my children didn't eat it.
My children like it.
My second wife asked me
how I was meant to marry her and love her,
seeing as I already had another wife.
I told her it wouldn't be a problem.
Everything in life is down to fate.
A second marriage is considered strange
and forbidden here in Germany.
Germans don't understand.
But, for us, it's completely normal.
It's normal to have three or four wives.
But the Germans haven't said
anything bad about it.
On the contrary,
when a police officer saw us...
That was in Croatia.
He showed us a lot more respect, because
Talib has two wives and so many children.
Give him some food.
What are your plans for Saturday?
I think I'll just stay at my guy's.
All you do is stay in.
If you don't come out on Saturday,
I'll break off all contact with you.
And if I cook,
I won't give you any of my food.
Do you want me to lose my guy or what?
God, no!
I wouldn't want that.
I'd never want for you to suffer.
If only you could feel
what my heart feels,
then you'd know how much I love him.
Then you'd understand.
I hope he stays with you.
My love, you have to pull them up a bit.
One can see your legs.
Where do you see my legs?
I pulled them all the way up.
No, you didn't.
If you pull them up here,
then they will look darker up here.
-Then the bottom part will be lighter.
-I don't mind if the bottom is lighter.
See it now?
Yes, it's just as light.
No, it's not.
They look better pulled up.
That's how they are, darling.
Look. They're better this way.
Right?
Yes. I got dressed in a hurry.
When people look at you, they shouldn't
think you got dressed in a hurry.
Give me a sip of your juice.
My throat is all dry.
Oh, your beautiful mouth.
When I met Amar,
it was my first contact
with a transgender person.
I only like
completely transitioned transsexuals.
Everything. Not just half-half.
If she's not planning to transition
completely, then I break off all contact.
One should only transition
when they feel like they're 100% female.
If not, they should leave it.
I accept everything,
but that's my opinion on the matter.
Those who completely transition
into a woman
will gain my respect
and I'll be happy for them.
No clubs and without many men.
I don't like such things.
In love?
No, men just want sex.
Yeah...
Just sex and fun
and "send me pictures" and so on.
They don't say, "I love you"
or "You're my heart".
Just sex. Yeah...
What can I do?
I don't stand a chance.
I need to get big breasts.
I need to become a real girl.
Then a man will marry me.
Then I'll go to school, get a job...
I'll be able to do anything I want.
People will look at me and think,
"She's a girl".
No one will laugh at me anymore.
Have you heard of cup sizes A, B, C?
-Yes.
-You'd be about a C.
And the available sizes
are 400 and 450 gm?
No, there are more,
but they start at 400 gm.
I have no idea what 400 gm look like.
Let me show you a picture
and you can tell me what size they are.
-I've got up to 550 gm, right?
-Yes. 500 to 550 gm.
I've got from 550 to 600 gm.
That's probably too much.
You're slim.
I can't give you 600 gm ones.
They'd look like balloons.
In my opinion, I think 450 gm ones
would look good on you.
Those are more than 650 gm.
-But they don't look so big.
-Look at this.
-What are those?
-Those are Kylie Jenner's.
600 gm? 700 gm?
-No, I think they're less.
-They're definitely more than 650 gm.
Here's another picture of her.
Those are more than 600...
But she has the same body type as me.
My dear, you have a flat stomach
and you're slim.
600 gm will never suit you,
but I'll do it if you want me to.
I'm going to gain some weight.
My dear, I have some 600s here.
Makes no difference to me.
Check out the plant.
I think the other one is prettier.
How are you?
-Fine. I went to see a doctor last week.
-Yes.
I went to see a doctor
regarding silicone breasts.
Yes.
He took a look at my breasts and my body.
And he said that my body was suitable.
If there happen to be
any complications afterwards,
the insurance won't cover it.
You'll have to cover
the expenses yourself.
As it hasn't been authorized
by the insurance company.
And I'm not too sure whether
it's so urgent that it has to be done now.
Wouldn't you rather wait
until next year to have it done?
I've already waited for so long.
I'd like to get all the operations done
tomorrow if I could.
-But is that reasonable?
-Yes. I want to be just like a woman.
As I said, I can only go down
the normal route with you.
I want the normal route, too.
But what you're suggesting
isn't the normal route.
Are there many transsexuals in Frankfurt?
On the streets? In the parks? Where?
Where are the transsexuals?
The transsexuals have a big apartment
from which they can work.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Like a brothel for transsexuals.
People work there for 50 Euro.
-50 Euro?
-I think it's for 15 Euro.
-50 or 15?
-50.
50.
-Five, zero.
-Five, zero, yes.
50! 50.
But there's not much money in Frankfurt.
When I write that I do it for money,
they say, "No, bye".
Even when old people write to me and I say
I do it for money, they say "bye".
There's a lot of money in Stuttgart.
-Come out.
-No.
-Come on. Come out.
-Leave me alone.
Come out.
I said you should just try it on.
Yes.
Does it look good?
Yes.
Take another look in the mirror.
The jewels here are pretty.
Where there are trees it's always pretty.
And the air is better and it's cooler.
We've only got one tree.
We should move to Shaharazad's home.
The home is nicer
and the location is better.
If we move at some point,
your brothers will have to come with us.
I can't leave them on their own.
-They're too chaotic.
-They can't live on their own.
The clothes they wear are beautiful.
Maybe I could borrow some sometime.
Look over there, darling.
How's your boyfriend?
My love?
He's sweet like honey.
May God be with you.
Thanks, my love.
Close your eyes, please.
He's really nice to me.
He's a good person and he loves me.
Do you want to get married?
-Yes.
-How wonderful.
But only after I've had the operation
and I have a vagina.
When you have a vagina,
you'll marry him.
Yeah, why not?
But you look great now.
-Thank you, darling.
-This therapy...
I've been taking the hormones
for six months now.
God willing, it will take another year.
And then I'll be perfect.
God willing.
I don't care whether I'm permitted to have
the operation or not. I'm doing it.
People always say everything is a sin.
Everything's a sin to you.
Why isn't it a sin?
It's going to make me feel good.
So, how can it be a sin?
So, if you're born with one eye you can't
have an operation because it's a sin?
That's different.
It might not make you happy.
It will make me happy.
I'm unhappy now.
I'll be happy once I've had the operation.
What will people say?
What will God say?
He gave it to you.
How can you cut it off?
It's mine.
I decide if it's useful or not.
You should have patience and faith.
You can get medical treatment.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm being patient.
I'm having the operation and that's that.
You'll have to answer to God.
I'm thinking about the afterlife.
Nothing's been for free for me
in this world.
Let me be happy in this world.
The afterlife is worth more
than your life in this world.
I'm going to be happy in this life
and in the afterlife.
Why are you looking at women's profiles?
It's my cousin's profile.
You're looking at the women
he's friends with.
I'm checking out what they've written.
Don't look at it!
The apartment is beautifully situated
here on this street.
I'd love to have an apartment like this.
Look at all the people.
I won't accept it if cosmetic surgery
were to change the taste of your lips,
or if I were to touch fake things.
Honestly, people aren't happy with it.
Many of those who've had cosmetic surgery
have lost everything.
You are and will always be a woman
as beautiful as the full moon.
Hopefully God will stop those
who don't need it from doing it.
Everyone will taste death.
May God bless your soul, Amar.
You were a good person.
May God bless your soul.
Don't move. Lie down.
The other side, too.
You're going to be
the most beautiful dead girl.
Even Sabah wasn't buried like this.
-Not the head.
-No, I'm not doing the head.
I'm making you a pillow.
Keep your head still.
Darling, how do you want us
to celebrate our wedding?
The main thing is
that I want to have a beautiful dress.
And I want all my friends
and relatives to be there.
And I want to have it at a
beautiful ballroom with beautiful music.
Which friends will you invite?
I'll know by then.
Tell me now.
There might be someone
I don't want to invite.
Not now. Later.
Don't worry.
I won't invite anyone you don't like.
In order for the health insurance company
to pay for your sex reassignment surgery
you need a psychiatrist to diagnose you
as having gender dysphoria
and to confirm that you don't have
any other psychiatric disorders,
such as borderline or schizophrenia.
And you also need proof that you've been
seeing a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist
for at least 18 months.
Can I have an operation later on
that will enable me to have a child?
To have a child of my own?
That won't be possible.
During sex reassignment surgery
they create a vagina,
but no womb is created.
No uterus and no ovaries.
You need a womb or a uterus
for a baby to grow.
Yeah, but I could buy one
and they could create one for me.
No artificially inseminated egg
has ever been implanted
as far as I know.
Medical science can perform miracles.
I know that a lot of people wish
to live a normal life after the operation.
For example, finding a husband
and even marrying.
I know of such cases,
but as for having a baby, no.
That's another dimension
that will be quite hard to reach.
-So, we have to take it step by step.
-Yes.
Thank you.
How much does the pasta cost?
See? We stick to our traditions
and still buy our food from you.
Thanks, but not for me.
It would be best for you
if you quit smoking.
I smoked for 20 years.
I quit four years ago.
Hello. Good day.
I'm a transsexual
and I'd like to book an appointment.
What would you like?
An appointment.
What?
For psycholotherapy.
What sort of therapy?
I didn't understand what you said.
For psycholotherapy.
Shallot therapy?
No.
Chemotherapy?
Or what?
Could I come by
so I could talk about myself?
I'm really sorry,
but I don't understand what you want.
Okay. Very well.
Do you have a letter of referral?
Yes.
And what does it say?
"Psycholologist."
So... Hello, there.
So... How may I help you?
I'm a transsexual
and I'd like to book an appointment.
For what?
To talk about myself.
I didn't quite get that.
Could you repeat that?
For psycholotherapy.
Shallot therapy?
Exactly.
Exactly...
I don't quite know what that is.
Are they roasted yet?
No, not yet.
Switch off the hob once they're done.
Damn it!
You can still see my beard.
You can cover it up with more makeup.
Hello?
Hey, sister!
Are you going to work?
I'm going to work. But not yet. Later.
Lohan, have you met someone new?
Yes, I was out until five last night.
I swear on the beauty of your eyes.
Good job!
Of course! I'm your sister.
I'm doing the things you like.
What was he?
He was half German, half...
What was it again? Half French.
Bravo!
Of course.
Keep it up.
Not good.
It is good. Don't talk like that
about yourself, dummy.
Some just love trans women, while others
just want to try something new.
Know what I mean?
Some of my friends are saying,
"You dummy. If you transition completely,
no one will be interested in you anymore.
If you transition completely, you'll be a
normal woman and men won't be interested.
So you should stay in the trans area."
I told them that
I don't care what people think.
I'm doing it for myself.
For my own wellbeing.
So...
it's for me and not for the men
who only care about my body.
I want to look good.
I want to be happy
when I look in the mirror.
I want to be beautiful for me.
So... Okay.
-So, what's 3a?
-38.18
-38 point?
-18.
18. Exactly. 38.08.
That's important. 38.08.
Unit?
-Unit? How much of what do you have?
-Euros.
Now the other way around.
How do we get from 600 to 100?
If I divide it by 6, it makes 4.80 Euro.
Divided by 6?
-80.
-Write it down.
What about 10?
Sometimes I think about killing myself.
-About killing yourself?
-Yes.
-What do you mean by that?
-Like, take pills...
Or... to jump from a mountain...
So, you fantasize about,
"I don't want to live anymore,
the whole process is so exhausting."
Because my life is hard.
Life is hard
when you're trans.
I want to live my life as a normal woman.
And, at the same time,
I've gotten to know you as a trans woman,
and I see you as being...
"Yes, I'm a transsexual and that's that."
And you're very self-confident
when it comes to that, which is great.
Did you eat a lot yesterday?
-Why?
-You feel heavier.
No, I didn't eat much.
-Nice?
-Yes.
Really? Tell me the truth.
Could you find another dress for me?
Could you find another dress for me?
Take that one.
This dress is really well made.
Find me a nice, long dress.
-What are you doing?
-I'm talking to him, not you.
-Why are you insulting me?
-I am talking to him.
What do you want from me?
You think you're German?
You're also an Arab.
You think I'm from Germany.
-Just be glad you're here.
-Keep walking, asshole!
What did he want?
Why was he talking to me in German?
I didn't understand him.
I asked him what he wanted
and he said he was talking to you, not me.
How am I meant to understand what
he's saying when he's talking in German?
If he wants something,
he should talk in Arabic.
Yes, he answered in German.
If he'd chatted me up in Arabic,
I could've replied.
I know Arabic words
that would even make his God tremble.
So why is he speaking to me in German?
Act more feminine. If a man wants
to talk to us, let me do the talking.
He wouldn't have gotten it
if I weren't loud.
If I'd spoken quietly,
he wouldn't have taken me seriously.
I can show him I'm a strong woman.
But he asked me,
"Why are you looking at me?".
But he left once I started talking to him.
I sure showed him.
Cool!
Awesome!
It doesn't work.
Wait. I'll turn on the camera.
Do it, already!
Great!
You have to fasten the strap
from the front.
How was it again?
You fasten it here.
Like this?
-I'll cancel the men.
-Are you sure?
There's no place to fuck.
Or I'll check if we can do it in a car.
Then you'll have enough space.
So, now slowly lean backwards.
How's that?
It's better like that.
That's better.
So, Lohan, this is a song about you.
I'm a rocket and everywhere I go
people are crazy about me.
I'm a bomb from Lebanon and America,
so beautiful, people can't believe it.
You're jealous of me
and I'll reveal your secrets.
I'm a strong woman, like a mountain
that can't be moved by the wind.
Bomb, dance, explosion.
Hey, beautiful, come dance with me.
If you have a problem with me
I'll blow you up.
When I was in a relationship,
it felt really nice.
Since we split up, it's been the opposite.
I hate thinking about it.
Why am I half-half
and made to suffer for it?
We suffer from the operations.
We hide away to protect ourselves
from people's comments.
We have a lot of operations ahead of us.
But even once we're done with them,
people in our society
still won't accept us.
The singer Haiifa Magic
had to go through a lot, too.
She even cried during a live performance.
She said she experienced hell on earth
and had to go through a lot
in order to be accepted by society.
Yet, people still reproach her
for having been a man once.
People still don't understand
that she's a real woman now.
She looks like a normal woman.
Why are they still reproaching her?
What did she ever do to people?
God will judge her.
Not the people.
When I look at
old pictures of my children,
I feel happier
than when I look at them now.
I wish they'd remained young forever.
No mother wants her children
to live like this.
I hoped they'd be married, young men
and that I'd be surrounded by
daughters-in-law and grandchildren.
Am I right?
Things would be fine
if they were happy with that.
But I don't feel as though they're happy.
They'll never be happy, as they'll never
have a future in the situation they're in.
They're not taking any path.
You get the feeling
they're running down a dead-end street.
But then I always think
that they're still young
and they don't understand much
about the world.
Maybe they're not mature enough yet.
But what can I say?
They're still my children.
Your own flesh and blood.
You can't just abandon them.
I want to show you something.
Write, "Why do you want us to meet?".
We'll see how things will turn out.
We're in God's hands.
We're in God's hands.
And we'll see what happens.
I'll finally be rid of all this shit.
I'll tell you a bit about the procedure.
-Okay.
-It'll take three to four hours, okay?
Then you'll be taken to the anesthetic
recovery room and then to the ward.
What we'll do is remove the testicles
and the epididymis.
Then you'll be
permanently infertile, okay?
The penis will partially be removed.
At least the main part of it.
And we'll construct a new vagina.
New labia majora and labia minora.
The glans penis will be made into
a new clitoris and clitoral hood.
-Okay.
-Okay?
I'm a bit scared.
There's nothing to be scared of, okay?
We'll take good care of you.
Our doctors will. Then we'll pick you up.
-You'll dose off and have pleasant dreams.
-Okay.
Are your parents here?
-No, they're in Stuttgart.
-In Stuttgart.
Okay. You can... Wait. I'll start.
-Like this?
-No. You can...
You can see it.
First, a stitch. That's it.
-Okay. So... That goes there.
-Okay.
The clitoris should go there.
Forceps.
How much skin have we got? Is that okay?
Great.
Could you adjust the light a bit?
Hello?
Lohan?
I just woke up from the operation.
Thanks, my love.
I'm in a lot of pain.
I can't really talk right now.
I'm in too much pain.
I'll call you later.
Okay, bye.
I'm in a lot of pain. I can't...
I...
What year are you in now?
Eighth.
I've also heard
that you're working for Dr. Martin.
-What do you do there?
-An internship.
What kind of internship?
An apprenticeship?
First, an internship and then I can either
do an apprenticeship or stay in school.
-Did I get any mail?
-No, there was only mail for Mahmoud.
I have to change my name on the mailbox.
What name have you chosen?
Samar.
That's how I'm registered, too.
I've been calling you that for ages.
Mom can't say it.
-Whatever. As long as you call me Samar.
-Yes, we will.
She needs time.
You're laughing?
Who threw the ball at my head?
-Wahrde?
-Yes.
I'm not going in the middle.
To the side.
Come play with us.
Ismail!
Don't you have homework to do?
Your homework?
Hurry up, then.
I went to see Dr. Khalid today
and he didn't recognize me.
The same happened to me
when I went to the dentist's.
I asked him if he still wanted
to treat me as a boy,
but he said, "No, you're a girl now,
so you will be treated as such".
I hope my voice will improve
after the next operation.
Many people also think that I'm a girl.
That's good.
Subtitles: Georgina Avgerinou-Panagiotou
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