Taxi Girls (1979) - full transcript
A sexy hooker comes up with a plan to operate her own taxi service for her fellow streetwalkers as a safe way to make easy money, with their male customers.
(upbeat music)
(intense music build up)
- Hey, sweetheart? Lets go
- Shut up, don't bother me.
- Shut up bitch.
(upbeat music)
We'll be riding in that car.
(upbeat music)
Okay then, let's go.
- Oh, I haven't done anything.
- Shut your mouth and
get your ass in that car.
- Oh, dumb Dick.
- Shut your mouth.
(upbeat music)
Let's go sweetheart.
- Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
- Shut your mouth and
get your ass in that car
- Oh, you picked
the wrong bitch.
- Shut up bitch.
(upbeat music)
- You are under arrest.
- But I haven't..
- Don't say a word.
Get in the car. Get in the car!
(upbeat music)
(door slams)
Sweetheart, let's go.
Let's go bitch!
(complaining intensely)
- What are you doing!
(car engine revving)
- Put that paper down, we
all know you can't read.
- Just cool it, swampo.
I'm looking for a job.
Sick and tired of
all this hassle.
(approaching footsteps clacking)
- All right.
(people cheering)
(people chattering)
- What do you feel lady?
(crosstalk)
- Please, please.
I'll do anything.
Anything you want.
Move your ass in there.
- Oh, why don't you
move my ass in there?
(ladies laughing)
- Are we doing this?
Come on I've talked to the
girls about this before.
- You'll love it.
(people chattering
drowns out the speaker)
- Oh, it's so large, you
big stud. Fuck us all.
(people chattering)
(upbeat music)
- Come on baby (music
drowns out the speaker)
(jumbled sounds of music
and people chattering)
(exciting music)
(people chattering)
- Move out the way, Harry.
- Sergeant. Sergeant!
- Yeah, how are you, Harry?
- Does this look
like Harry, Sergeant?
- Hey, what the
hell is going on?
- You're going to
fuck me, Sergeant.
- Me? (chuckles)
Don't come any closer.
- Ah, you're not scared
of a little baby pussy,
are you now, sergeant?
(people chattering)
(exciting music)
- Come on baby, oh!
(people chattering)
(exciting music)
(people laughing)
(muffled groans)
- Oh, missing out on the two
over in the corner there.
(woman moaning)
(exciting music)
- Think I might have to
keep you girls here forever.
(tantric chants)
- Where would you like to
shoot me, in my warm pussy?
- How about my mouth?
- Oh no no no.
You don't need no
help, sergeant.
- Can you simply stop it.
Listen, go back to your phone
before I could trash it.
What the hell is so funny?
- I just discovered
your problem.
- You must prefer boys.
- Now you bitch.
(couple groaning)
(woman groaning)
- Oh wouldn't leave without me.
- What, what?
- Help me, help me.
- what?
- Help me please
- 1 will. What
- A juvenile delinquent
stood in front of your joy,
your joy and took my
place (whimpering)
- Yeah lady, go out this point
(lady mourning)
- Lady, you got to
fill out the form
- I can't?
- What is it now?
- I need pants.
- You want pants,
here take them.
- This strange wasn't so, for
a second, I have my own pants.
- (panting) Hello.
- Please help me, someone
is breaking into my house.
I hear noises
downstairs. What do I do?
- I don't know, stick
cotton in your ears.
- Please policeman.
I've finished already.
- You have now.
- What did you say?
- Nothing, nothing. We'll
call you if we find it.
- Don't call after nine.
My son go to sleep at nine.
- We won't, we won't. Go home.
- Already?
- You'd require this.
(woman moaning)
- Mr. policeman, I think I
hear you starting wobbling
from here. You must take a bravo
- No (screaming)
- Oh, what happened?
Come on, come in.
- I think I am good.
- Oh, We can't forget this.
- Yeah, that was cute.
- Come on, sugar.
(distant people talking)
(people chattering)
(upbeat music)
(woman moaning)
- Come on. Get
steady. Go for it.
(people chattering)
(woman laughs)
(exciting music)
(woman moaning)
(vocalized panting)
(people chattering)
(woman breathing heavily)
(woman moaning)
(exiting music)
(crowd cheering)
(people chattering)
(exiting music)
(keys shuffling)
- [Crowd] Bye.
- Bye bye
(people chattering)
- Come back here you,
pack of rotten punks!
- Bye.
- Hey, I found it. I found it.
- What?
- I found it. I got
it. Look, right here.
(uplifting music)
(distant engine roars)
- Say, what's a nice girl
like you doing driving a taxi?
- Oh, I do other things.
- Really? Like what?
(distant engine roaring)
- Thank you. You can see
my little baggy thing.
- I'm a famous
comedian, you know.
No, really, don't
you recognize me?
I was on TV the other night.
- Really?
- Mmh. I was sitting
right on top of it.
(both laughs)
No, I really am a
stand-up comedian.
A producer even offered
a job the other day.
- He did?
- Yeah. When I asked
how big it was he said,
"about that big"
(both laughs)
I'm tired of people thinking
that I'm a sex object.
I just want people to
like me for my head.
- I would like to like you
for your head little girl.
(exciting music)
- Okay guy, I
understand you got about
4,000 shares of NA stock I
really want to get hold of it.
- Wow, you have a great
cock, what a big one.
(upbeat music)
- (moaning) you really dig it?
You wanna get a
free bath in this?
- Oh yeah.
(Crosstalk)
- I can't believe it, the
window is getting fogged.
There go the windshield wipers.
(car screeching)
- Hey girls, come here.
Hi, Tony.
- How have you been?
- Hey, it's good to see you.
- I think it has
been for some time.
- Yeah, big Harry has been
looking all over town for you.
I want to show you something.
Meet me around the corner.
(car engine rumbling)
- You see this? Just
a few hours work.
- I'm telling you guys are fools
for pounding that
pavement out there.
- Awesome.
- We're going to
get us some cash.
(women chattering)
- Hiya, Teddy.
- Hey, it's after hours,
what the hell are you doing
in my apartment?
- We just want to know how
many job openings you have.
- What kind of work
you're working for?
- Cabbies, what else?
- I don't know what I
can do with all of you.
- If you give us a chance,
We'll show you what you
can do with all of us.
Just relax and we'll
take care of everything.
- Look at that.
- Looks nice. He's great to
have for a boss (chuckles)
- So you girls want a job, huh?
- Come on, Teddy, you
can screw the cat.
- This cock tastes so good
- Sure we can be good cabbies.
(woman moaning)
- How's it feel, Teddy?
- Come on, girls, we
have to convince him that
we are going to be
good cab drivers.
- What we can do
with this business.
- How's this, Teddy?
- All right.
- Come on, Teddy.
- Fuck him, Toni.
- Are you good?
Fuck her, Teddy.
- That's great, girls. This
ought to change his mind.
- Oh, yeah. Most definitely.
- Oh, come on,
Teddy. You can do it.
You know you can get us all in.
- I don't know.
- You're doing a good
job of it right now.
- That feels good.
- Oh, Teddy!
Fuck him, Toni. Fuck him.
Look at that, Teddy. Cooperate.
(woman moaning)
(people chattering)
Look at that sweet ass.
- Come on, baby.
(man moaning)
- I'm coming. I'm coming.
(group grunting)
I'm coming!
- I figure we're going to
need about 10 cabs, Teddy
and we'll work double shift.
- 10 cabs, are you crazy?
I only have two extra
and they're in the shop
- Well, fire somebody
- I'm not going to fire
nobody for a bunch of hookers.
- You lousy son of a bitch.
We ought to cut it off
for stringing us along.
- Why don't you just get
the hell out of here?
You're stinking up my apartment.
- You'll be sorry
for this, Teddy.
- We're going to run
you out of business.
- Go on, get out.
- Come on, girls.
(slow upbeat music)
- Hello?
- Hello.
- We would like to
apply for a loan.
- Well, what kind
of loan do you want?
- Do you have a layaway plan?
You know, lay now pay later.
What we really need
is a business loan.
- What type business are
you girls going to be in?
- We're going to
start a cab company
- Cab company?
Well, I'm going to have to
ask you a few questions.
How much money are
you going to need?
- $50,000
- $50,000. That's a lot of
money. Going to have to ask you.
Do you have any assets?
- We got the best
assets in town.
- Well, I don't think that's
going to be quite enough.
- Are you getting a
better idea of our assets?
- Almost certainly,
but I don't think you'll
be able to satisfy the big,
Well, you have my approval. I
think we better go see my boss.
(slow upbeat music)
- Thank you.
- Oh, ladies I didn't realize
there were so many of you.
Why don't four of you
come on in the office
and the rest of
you wait outside.
- That's okay, girls we can
take care of it ourselves.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Now, exactly what
did you have in mind?
- we need a $50,000
business loan, Mr. Brown
- $50,000. That's a
lot of money, ladies.
What were you going to
put up for collateral?
- Well, we're going to put
ourselves up for collateral.
- Yourselves?
- Mmh.
- I'm afraid I don't
quite understand.
- Why don't we
explain it to you?
- Come over here.
You can have my seat.
- Oh, thank you.
- Just relax. And
let us do the work.
- You're going to explain the
collateral, right? ladies.
- Oh yes. We'll let you know
exactly what our collateral is.
Cock's worth $50,000, dear,
we got to treat it well.
(people moaning)
- Oh ladies. It's fantastic.
$50,000?
- It's not so much.
No, not at all.
How much do you think
we are worth, Carolyn?
- I think we're up to, let's
see about 12,500 already girls.
- I do hope that
means each of us.
- We're working, working
toward the big loan.
(people moaning)
- Does that feel good?
- It's great.
- You like it, Mr. Brown?
- Yeah, I love it.
Stay up there ladies.
We'll be right up there.
(vocalized panting)
(people moaning)
- Come on. Put your
lips around that.
Come on, girls. You can't
get loan for nothing now.
Suck all the cum out.
- So, do you think that this
is an equitable proposition,
Mr. Brown?
- I think it's
incredibly equitable.
In fact, this is just a
beautiful new approach
to active business.
- And until we pay off our loan,
we will drive you
anywhere anytime.
You can have any one of us or
all of us anytime you want.
- Ladies you have got
yourselves a deal.
- In fact, I personally am
going to set up your account
here at the bank and
watch it very closely.
(crosstalk)
- We can't ask for
any more than that.
(slow exciting music)
- Hey, this is our
car right here.
Hey girls, this is it right
here. This is our car.
Yeah, this is our
baby right here.
- This is it. What do you think?
(faint chattering)
- Gorgeous.
- Hey, sweet cheeks, how
much can we get this for?
- $4,000, lady.
- How much? I didn't
quite hear you.
- Well, maybe I could
let it go for $3750.
- $3750 for this piece of junk?
Are you sure you couldn't
go down any lower?
- I don't think I can ma'am.
- If you will, we will.
- I don't know
what you're saying.
What's happening here now?
- Oh, don't worry about it.
- Judy, Sharon you
girls stay outside.
We'll take care of this.
- You can sit on it.
If you think I'm going any
lower on the price of that car.
- Did we get you upset?
- Yes you did. That
car is a good car
and I ain't going to go much
lower than you just offered me.
- We need that car.
- And I need my money.
I've got business going
around here ladies
- So have we.
- What kind of business
you going into.
- Kind of taxi.
- Taxi? Really you're certainly
getting my meter running.
(ladies laugh)
- We hope so.
- Goodness.
Oh, I like to watch that.
- You like to watch?
- Oh, take these pants down.
Come on ladies, I want
to see something now.
- Which would you prefer?
Blonde or brunette or
how 'bout a red head?
- I'd like to see a blonde,
a brunette and a red head.
(slow upbeat music)
- It's really nice. Oh
baby, that fits so nice.
Go down all that
on that cock baby.
(man moaning)
What are they doing over there?
- Nothing, we'll
bring another one.
- Gobble it down baby. Oh, yeah.
Such a hot little mouth.
Nice little titties sitting
over there on the couch.
(group moaning)
- Oh, you're making me come.
- Put your fist
up her cunt, baby.
Suck on her nipples.
(woman moaning)
(woman heavy breathing)
- That feels good.
Fuck her. Ram that cock inside
of her. Deep inside of her.
- Do like she says.
- Now this is what
I call a bargain.
(woman moaning)
- Very firm.
That's real nice. Do you do
this kind of thing often?
- $2,200 and no more.
- All right, but I think
I'm getting fucked.
- Yeah, but by the best.
- Besides, I'm a star, you know?
Don't you recognize me? I was
on television the other day.
- Oh, really?
- I was sitting
right on top of it.
(upbeat music)
- Hey, you guys.
- Hey, how are you doing?
Why don't you come over here?
- Hey we got some good
action going here.
- Look at this. How do
you like this interior?
- I'm coming too.
(people chattering)
- Remove your fucking car.
- Dear, what are you doing?
- I'm taking a friend of
mine out for his walky walky.
- I won't do that if I were you.
- Why not?
- Because you'll get
into a fight again with
the dog next door,
the Brown's dog.
Every time he sees that
doberman, he draws blood.
- But Dynamite's gotta
have his walk, honey.
I'll tell you what, sweetheart,
if you're real good to me
tonight I'll take him out, Okay?
Oh, you're so sweet, Harold.
- Hey, Emma.
- Well, what will it be
today cute little Teddy bear?
- The usual, Toni. Just take
it around the block once.
Only, make sure my
wife never sees it.
- Oh, she won't.
(slow upbeat music)
- You want to suck
my cock, don't you?
Come on. Say you want
to suck my cock. Say it.
- I want to suck your cock.
- Say it with feeling.
- I want to suck your cock.
- Just get down
there and suck it.
- Hey baby. How
about the real drink?
- Oh sorry sweetheart,
you got to catch
one of my other girls.
I got to be on stage
in a half an hour
- What do you do?
- I'm a stand-up comedian.
- Standup comedian?
How come you're not
married raising a family?
- Yeah, I tried that once.
All he wanted to do was chain me
to the kitchen sink. Besides,
I made a promise to myself.
I'm going to be a star and
nobody's going to stop me.
(audience cheering)
- Settle down now, animal.
I don't know what's
wrong with her.
Anyone who's seen her orange
juice commercials knows
that chick's been
suckin' fruits for years.
(audience cheering)
For some reason I'm always on
a freeway. This is a problem.
I'm on the freeway.
I always get stuck behind a
camper. Ever have this happen?
Guys you can't go around
him. You can't go under him.
You can't go over him.
Follow him for 25 miles,
guys got a 48 Hudson
pickup with a camper
and their blue smoke
pouring out the back.
You ever look at the back
of a camper over here,
big decal of a deer over
here big decal of a fish
little decals all around showing
where the people have been.
Yosemite, Yellowstone,
Edna's house of oral love.
- I want to thank you. You've
really been a great audience.
(audience clapping)
- Manny just got
a brand new job.
He's going to be
Charles' leading man
in a brand new film called
"Sodom and Guacamole".
(audience cheering)
but we are proud to present
brand newcomer. (laughs)
During the day, this girl
works as a taxi driver.
But I've been seen her act
and let me tell you folks,
I'd like to make that
meter run, myself.
(audience cheering)
let's hear it for a
brand new comer, Toni.
(audience cheering)
- Do any of you recognize me?
(audience cheering)
No, because you know what, I
was on television yesterday.
Yes, I was. I was sitting on it.
(audience laughs)
No, really. I'm an
actress you know.
No, I really am an actress
I went to this
producer the other day
and he's got this
movie, you see?
and he even offered me a part.
- He offered me
a part, you know?
And I asked, "how big is it?"
he says "Well, its
about this big."
(audience cheering)
When he called, I stood
up from behind the table,
he was naked, he
was just this big.
I tried to get a job last
week as a Playboy bunny
Hey, what's the matter..
The only thing is that I
couldn't pass the rabbit test.
I mean the rabbit lived
but the doctor died.
People are really
weird in Hollywood.
as a matter of fact
everybody's just a little weird
in Hollywood.
They sleep with you one time
and right away they want
to take you to dinner.
(audience clapping)
(exciting music)
- Big Toni. Lets hear it
for the terrific Toni.
You've heard of the
Midas touch, right?
Where every time you touch
something, it turns to gold.
But Toni got a
special touch too.
Every time she touches
something, it turns limp.
(audience cheering)
- Hey, you were
great, you were great.
- Oh, thank you.
My name is Boris
Sablowsky, I'm an agent.
- Let me tell you.
- Wow. How do you do
- I could be able to get you
some work. Here's my card.
Call me during the day. Soon.
Talk soon. You were great.
- Sure. Thank you. Goodbye.
- So baby, you left me to
do standup and now you're
hookin' in the gutter.
- Johnny, I'm not
hooking nothing.
- Oh yeah, well your
lawyer rang me up.
You got a court date coming up.
You were busted
for prostitution.
- So, what's that to you?
- Depends. What is
your device, Toni?
- Not interested. Not a bit.
- You lousy little whore.
I was the best thing
that ever happened to you.
What does it take to
whet your appetite?
Here's a 20. More? How
about 50. Take it all,
everything I've got.
- Oh Johnny, you do care,
don't you? I love you.
- God, let's make
love like we used to
- I love you Toni, don't
ever leave me, okay?
- I have a real
break with an agent,
he might give me
some stage work.
- Listen, I don't
care what you do.
As long as you give up this
fucking cabs and the hooking
- I want you.
(slow upbeat music)
(woman moaning)
can I get condom?
(woman moaning)
(woman breathing heavily)
Fuck me. Fuck me.
(woman moaning)
- We need the job.
(couple moaning)
(rhythmic frictional rubbing)
(couple moaning)
(vocalized panting)
- I hate to lay you men off,
but those hookers are running
us right into the poor house.
- Well, what am
I supposed to do?
I've got a wife and
two kids to support
and doctor bills.
- Bitch about it to those girls,
there aint nothing I can do
- How can you let
a bunch of hookers
come destroy our business?
- All I know is that since
that since those pink cabs
hit the street, our
business is down 35%.
Well, I'm not going
to sit on my ass
and watch my kids starve.
- Damn right. We're going
to take care of this.
Come on. Let's go get 'em.
- I agree with you.
- Pinky five house,
the presidential fare.
- We're headed East on Wilshire
toward bank headquarters.
The president should be
getting off at any moment now
(upbeat music)
- Come on. Put your
lips around that.
- Pinky Two, come in Pinky Two.
This is Toni, what's your fare?
- 1 got it, Juicy Lucy
heading West on Fountain.
I'll be in clear in
about 20 minutes.
- What the hell is this?
- That's Juicy Lucy.
- Slip it right in,
you'll love fucking her.
- This is a thing I
can't fuck a thing.
- For 20 bucks,
that's all you get.
I mean she's juicy and tight.
Don't knock her till
you've knocked her.
- If you say so.
- Oh, dynamite.
Oh yeah. How's she feel? Does
she meet your qualifications?
Oh, slam that bitch.
- Lucy, Lucy, I love Lucy.
- Fuck her. Get it
there dude. Get it.
Oh, God, that looks
good. Ram her.
- Here, take it all in for me.
- Isn't she juicy and tight?
That looks delicious. Wish I
didn't have to drive the cab.
- I'm going to fuck you until
your ears bleed, you whore.
- Sweet as honey,
isn't it, sugar?
(muffled groans)
Stick it right in there.
- Ten four Pinky Six,
I'm meeting Frank
at the comedy
shop. Over and out.
(slow upbeat music)
- Hey, Toni. I'm ready
for another ride.
- Sorry, Bernie baby. I'm
going back to my husband.
I'm not hooking anymore.
- The Clark 69 has got
special treat for y'all now.
We got the royalty all
the way from Sweden.
I'd like to have the
queen step right up here.
Not you sir, I'm sorry.
(audience cheering)
- Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm a contestant from Poland.
My great grandmother
bought the title
from Sears and Roebuck.
And I know it doesn't
mean very much over here,
but in Poland it meant I
didn't have to do windows.
(audience cheering)
(car engine rumbling)
(door slams)
- What are you doing?
(woman screaming)
- You got her?
- Lets go.
- Open the door.
- (woman screaming
for help) Help! Help!
- Thank you. Thank you.
I love America but what really
bothers me about this country
is like there are people living
here who are so poor that
they are eating dog food.
In Poland, you wouldn't
dream of eating dog food.
Not even if you had nothing
to eat, we wouldn't eat that.
Why eat dog food when
you can eat the dog?
(audience cheering)
Thank you. Thank you.
One thing though, one
thing that really bugs me
about this country
and that's dating,
last night my boyfriend
took me out to dinner,
to a drive-in movie, and then
he tried to get fresh with me
in the backseat of his car.
Can you imagine how crude,
I mean the backseat,
if I can't make it
in the front seat,
I won't do it at all.
(audience cheering)
I tell you I'm so happy
to be in this country.
It's such a great place to live.
Where else would I get a
chance to wear underwear
that had written on it Monday?
- Get her, Sam. You're not going
to be able to sit in a taxi
after today, bitch. Suck
up. Suck up. That's it.
(woman effortful grunting-)
- Steal my cab, bitch.
Catch you in fucking
cab again baby,
I'll stick it down your
throat, you get that?
Next time, next time it's
going to be Tumble Bay.
Your ass is going to be
too sore to sit down baby.
(woman intensely breathing)
Suck it, all the way down.
(woman breathing intensely)
Goddammit.
- Fuck her where she breathes.
- Feel good?
- It's like you steal
cabs. Now suck some cock.
- Pump it in, Sam.
- Come on, suck.
- Get it in here.
- All the way down.
(woman groaning)
- Suck it.
- You can drive
little cabs, huh?
Answer me, cunt.
I asked if you're going
to drive any more cabs.
- No.
- Say no sir.
- No sir (yells painfully)
- Good girl.
- (woman yelling)
- Come here. We're
friends now, Baby.
That's it, girl. That's it.
(woman yelling)
- Here, you two know
each other, don't you?
(woman yelling and crying)
(cross talk)
(woman sobbing)
(phone rings)
- Hello.
- Hey, Betty. Have
you heard from Toni?
- No, I haven't.
- She was supposed to be
on stage a half hour ago.
- Toni just did that an hour
ago. She called from the cab
she said that she was
on her way to see you
at the comedy shop.
- Okay. Thanks a lot
- Good luck.
(door slams)
(car engine roars)
- 64 10 West fourth.
Step on it, will you?
- We'll put you out
of business, bitch.
We lost our fucking
jobs because of you.
Lick those fucking
balls. Lick 'em.
Toni has put it to you
Teach you to fuck around
with our cabs, baby.
(woman sobbing)
(women grunting)
- Fuck her.
Cum all over her face.
(cross talk)
- David, go get on the
radio and call up everybody.
You get 'em over here.
Free ass for everybody. Go.
Hurry up. It's not
gonna last forever.
You bitch, you fucking can't..
- Yo, 48 60 63 and 42, we
have a hot cake mommy here.
All ready for hot services,
- Henry here, I'll clear
my fare in 20 minutes.
- I can't wait to
fuck that bitch.
- Is there any of that
action I can getin on
- Just a little
private cabby business
a three dollar and
twenty cent fare.
- Hello, Betty.
- Hello, John.
- Any word from Toni.
Not a word, nothing John.
- What could've happened to her?
- Hope those yellow cab pricks
haven't done anything to her
They've been threatening
trouble all week.
- My God that's
it. It must be it.
They must've grabbed her.
Listen Betty, you grab
all the girls you can find
you meet me at 1486, Rich
Canyon as fast as you can okay.
- Okay, I'm on my way.
(couple moaning)
(trumpets begins)
(couple moaning)
(faint cross talks)
(cross talks)
(woman yelling)
(crosstalk)
(background music
drowns out speakers)
- Fuck that bitch.
- Did you hear me? You
are out of business.
Suck that dick.
(yelling)
(sounds of panic and commotion)
- Hey, its gonna turn out all
right in court today, okay?
- I hope so. John, this is
my last bust, I promise.
- I hope so.
- Get dressed, you're
going to be late.
- Please rise.
Be seated.
Sit down and take
off your hat, please.
- The city of Los
Angeles versus Toni.
Hmm. Interesting.
And how does the
defendant plead?
Your honor, the
defendant pleads guilty.
- Well then due to the
extenuating circumstances
in this case, I wish to see
the defendant in my chambers.
Recess 30 minutes.
(door slams)
- How come you never told
me that you were a judge.
- Shut up, Toni.
Come here and serve
your sentence.
- With pleasure.
(exciting music)
(upbeat music)
(intense music build up)
- Hey, sweetheart? Lets go
- Shut up, don't bother me.
- Shut up bitch.
(upbeat music)
We'll be riding in that car.
(upbeat music)
Okay then, let's go.
- Oh, I haven't done anything.
- Shut your mouth and
get your ass in that car.
- Oh, dumb Dick.
- Shut your mouth.
(upbeat music)
Let's go sweetheart.
- Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
- Shut your mouth and
get your ass in that car
- Oh, you picked
the wrong bitch.
- Shut up bitch.
(upbeat music)
- You are under arrest.
- But I haven't..
- Don't say a word.
Get in the car. Get in the car!
(upbeat music)
(door slams)
Sweetheart, let's go.
Let's go bitch!
(complaining intensely)
- What are you doing!
(car engine revving)
- Put that paper down, we
all know you can't read.
- Just cool it, swampo.
I'm looking for a job.
Sick and tired of
all this hassle.
(approaching footsteps clacking)
- All right.
(people cheering)
(people chattering)
- What do you feel lady?
(crosstalk)
- Please, please.
I'll do anything.
Anything you want.
Move your ass in there.
- Oh, why don't you
move my ass in there?
(ladies laughing)
- Are we doing this?
Come on I've talked to the
girls about this before.
- You'll love it.
(people chattering
drowns out the speaker)
- Oh, it's so large, you
big stud. Fuck us all.
(people chattering)
(upbeat music)
- Come on baby (music
drowns out the speaker)
(jumbled sounds of music
and people chattering)
(exciting music)
(people chattering)
- Move out the way, Harry.
- Sergeant. Sergeant!
- Yeah, how are you, Harry?
- Does this look
like Harry, Sergeant?
- Hey, what the
hell is going on?
- You're going to
fuck me, Sergeant.
- Me? (chuckles)
Don't come any closer.
- Ah, you're not scared
of a little baby pussy,
are you now, sergeant?
(people chattering)
(exciting music)
- Come on baby, oh!
(people chattering)
(exciting music)
(people laughing)
(muffled groans)
- Oh, missing out on the two
over in the corner there.
(woman moaning)
(exciting music)
- Think I might have to
keep you girls here forever.
(tantric chants)
- Where would you like to
shoot me, in my warm pussy?
- How about my mouth?
- Oh no no no.
You don't need no
help, sergeant.
- Can you simply stop it.
Listen, go back to your phone
before I could trash it.
What the hell is so funny?
- I just discovered
your problem.
- You must prefer boys.
- Now you bitch.
(couple groaning)
(woman groaning)
- Oh wouldn't leave without me.
- What, what?
- Help me, help me.
- what?
- Help me please
- 1 will. What
- A juvenile delinquent
stood in front of your joy,
your joy and took my
place (whimpering)
- Yeah lady, go out this point
(lady mourning)
- Lady, you got to
fill out the form
- I can't?
- What is it now?
- I need pants.
- You want pants,
here take them.
- This strange wasn't so, for
a second, I have my own pants.
- (panting) Hello.
- Please help me, someone
is breaking into my house.
I hear noises
downstairs. What do I do?
- I don't know, stick
cotton in your ears.
- Please policeman.
I've finished already.
- You have now.
- What did you say?
- Nothing, nothing. We'll
call you if we find it.
- Don't call after nine.
My son go to sleep at nine.
- We won't, we won't. Go home.
- Already?
- You'd require this.
(woman moaning)
- Mr. policeman, I think I
hear you starting wobbling
from here. You must take a bravo
- No (screaming)
- Oh, what happened?
Come on, come in.
- I think I am good.
- Oh, We can't forget this.
- Yeah, that was cute.
- Come on, sugar.
(distant people talking)
(people chattering)
(upbeat music)
(woman moaning)
- Come on. Get
steady. Go for it.
(people chattering)
(woman laughs)
(exciting music)
(woman moaning)
(vocalized panting)
(people chattering)
(woman breathing heavily)
(woman moaning)
(exiting music)
(crowd cheering)
(people chattering)
(exiting music)
(keys shuffling)
- [Crowd] Bye.
- Bye bye
(people chattering)
- Come back here you,
pack of rotten punks!
- Bye.
- Hey, I found it. I found it.
- What?
- I found it. I got
it. Look, right here.
(uplifting music)
(distant engine roars)
- Say, what's a nice girl
like you doing driving a taxi?
- Oh, I do other things.
- Really? Like what?
(distant engine roaring)
- Thank you. You can see
my little baggy thing.
- I'm a famous
comedian, you know.
No, really, don't
you recognize me?
I was on TV the other night.
- Really?
- Mmh. I was sitting
right on top of it.
(both laughs)
No, I really am a
stand-up comedian.
A producer even offered
a job the other day.
- He did?
- Yeah. When I asked
how big it was he said,
"about that big"
(both laughs)
I'm tired of people thinking
that I'm a sex object.
I just want people to
like me for my head.
- I would like to like you
for your head little girl.
(exciting music)
- Okay guy, I
understand you got about
4,000 shares of NA stock I
really want to get hold of it.
- Wow, you have a great
cock, what a big one.
(upbeat music)
- (moaning) you really dig it?
You wanna get a
free bath in this?
- Oh yeah.
(Crosstalk)
- I can't believe it, the
window is getting fogged.
There go the windshield wipers.
(car screeching)
- Hey girls, come here.
Hi, Tony.
- How have you been?
- Hey, it's good to see you.
- I think it has
been for some time.
- Yeah, big Harry has been
looking all over town for you.
I want to show you something.
Meet me around the corner.
(car engine rumbling)
- You see this? Just
a few hours work.
- I'm telling you guys are fools
for pounding that
pavement out there.
- Awesome.
- We're going to
get us some cash.
(women chattering)
- Hiya, Teddy.
- Hey, it's after hours,
what the hell are you doing
in my apartment?
- We just want to know how
many job openings you have.
- What kind of work
you're working for?
- Cabbies, what else?
- I don't know what I
can do with all of you.
- If you give us a chance,
We'll show you what you
can do with all of us.
Just relax and we'll
take care of everything.
- Look at that.
- Looks nice. He's great to
have for a boss (chuckles)
- So you girls want a job, huh?
- Come on, Teddy, you
can screw the cat.
- This cock tastes so good
- Sure we can be good cabbies.
(woman moaning)
- How's it feel, Teddy?
- Come on, girls, we
have to convince him that
we are going to be
good cab drivers.
- What we can do
with this business.
- How's this, Teddy?
- All right.
- Come on, Teddy.
- Fuck him, Toni.
- Are you good?
Fuck her, Teddy.
- That's great, girls. This
ought to change his mind.
- Oh, yeah. Most definitely.
- Oh, come on,
Teddy. You can do it.
You know you can get us all in.
- I don't know.
- You're doing a good
job of it right now.
- That feels good.
- Oh, Teddy!
Fuck him, Toni. Fuck him.
Look at that, Teddy. Cooperate.
(woman moaning)
(people chattering)
Look at that sweet ass.
- Come on, baby.
(man moaning)
- I'm coming. I'm coming.
(group grunting)
I'm coming!
- I figure we're going to
need about 10 cabs, Teddy
and we'll work double shift.
- 10 cabs, are you crazy?
I only have two extra
and they're in the shop
- Well, fire somebody
- I'm not going to fire
nobody for a bunch of hookers.
- You lousy son of a bitch.
We ought to cut it off
for stringing us along.
- Why don't you just get
the hell out of here?
You're stinking up my apartment.
- You'll be sorry
for this, Teddy.
- We're going to run
you out of business.
- Go on, get out.
- Come on, girls.
(slow upbeat music)
- Hello?
- Hello.
- We would like to
apply for a loan.
- Well, what kind
of loan do you want?
- Do you have a layaway plan?
You know, lay now pay later.
What we really need
is a business loan.
- What type business are
you girls going to be in?
- We're going to
start a cab company
- Cab company?
Well, I'm going to have to
ask you a few questions.
How much money are
you going to need?
- $50,000
- $50,000. That's a lot of
money. Going to have to ask you.
Do you have any assets?
- We got the best
assets in town.
- Well, I don't think that's
going to be quite enough.
- Are you getting a
better idea of our assets?
- Almost certainly,
but I don't think you'll
be able to satisfy the big,
Well, you have my approval. I
think we better go see my boss.
(slow upbeat music)
- Thank you.
- Oh, ladies I didn't realize
there were so many of you.
Why don't four of you
come on in the office
and the rest of
you wait outside.
- That's okay, girls we can
take care of it ourselves.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Now, exactly what
did you have in mind?
- we need a $50,000
business loan, Mr. Brown
- $50,000. That's a
lot of money, ladies.
What were you going to
put up for collateral?
- Well, we're going to put
ourselves up for collateral.
- Yourselves?
- Mmh.
- I'm afraid I don't
quite understand.
- Why don't we
explain it to you?
- Come over here.
You can have my seat.
- Oh, thank you.
- Just relax. And
let us do the work.
- You're going to explain the
collateral, right? ladies.
- Oh yes. We'll let you know
exactly what our collateral is.
Cock's worth $50,000, dear,
we got to treat it well.
(people moaning)
- Oh ladies. It's fantastic.
$50,000?
- It's not so much.
No, not at all.
How much do you think
we are worth, Carolyn?
- I think we're up to, let's
see about 12,500 already girls.
- I do hope that
means each of us.
- We're working, working
toward the big loan.
(people moaning)
- Does that feel good?
- It's great.
- You like it, Mr. Brown?
- Yeah, I love it.
Stay up there ladies.
We'll be right up there.
(vocalized panting)
(people moaning)
- Come on. Put your
lips around that.
Come on, girls. You can't
get loan for nothing now.
Suck all the cum out.
- So, do you think that this
is an equitable proposition,
Mr. Brown?
- I think it's
incredibly equitable.
In fact, this is just a
beautiful new approach
to active business.
- And until we pay off our loan,
we will drive you
anywhere anytime.
You can have any one of us or
all of us anytime you want.
- Ladies you have got
yourselves a deal.
- In fact, I personally am
going to set up your account
here at the bank and
watch it very closely.
(crosstalk)
- We can't ask for
any more than that.
(slow exciting music)
- Hey, this is our
car right here.
Hey girls, this is it right
here. This is our car.
Yeah, this is our
baby right here.
- This is it. What do you think?
(faint chattering)
- Gorgeous.
- Hey, sweet cheeks, how
much can we get this for?
- $4,000, lady.
- How much? I didn't
quite hear you.
- Well, maybe I could
let it go for $3750.
- $3750 for this piece of junk?
Are you sure you couldn't
go down any lower?
- I don't think I can ma'am.
- If you will, we will.
- I don't know
what you're saying.
What's happening here now?
- Oh, don't worry about it.
- Judy, Sharon you
girls stay outside.
We'll take care of this.
- You can sit on it.
If you think I'm going any
lower on the price of that car.
- Did we get you upset?
- Yes you did. That
car is a good car
and I ain't going to go much
lower than you just offered me.
- We need that car.
- And I need my money.
I've got business going
around here ladies
- So have we.
- What kind of business
you going into.
- Kind of taxi.
- Taxi? Really you're certainly
getting my meter running.
(ladies laugh)
- We hope so.
- Goodness.
Oh, I like to watch that.
- You like to watch?
- Oh, take these pants down.
Come on ladies, I want
to see something now.
- Which would you prefer?
Blonde or brunette or
how 'bout a red head?
- I'd like to see a blonde,
a brunette and a red head.
(slow upbeat music)
- It's really nice. Oh
baby, that fits so nice.
Go down all that
on that cock baby.
(man moaning)
What are they doing over there?
- Nothing, we'll
bring another one.
- Gobble it down baby. Oh, yeah.
Such a hot little mouth.
Nice little titties sitting
over there on the couch.
(group moaning)
- Oh, you're making me come.
- Put your fist
up her cunt, baby.
Suck on her nipples.
(woman moaning)
(woman heavy breathing)
- That feels good.
Fuck her. Ram that cock inside
of her. Deep inside of her.
- Do like she says.
- Now this is what
I call a bargain.
(woman moaning)
- Very firm.
That's real nice. Do you do
this kind of thing often?
- $2,200 and no more.
- All right, but I think
I'm getting fucked.
- Yeah, but by the best.
- Besides, I'm a star, you know?
Don't you recognize me? I was
on television the other day.
- Oh, really?
- I was sitting
right on top of it.
(upbeat music)
- Hey, you guys.
- Hey, how are you doing?
Why don't you come over here?
- Hey we got some good
action going here.
- Look at this. How do
you like this interior?
- I'm coming too.
(people chattering)
- Remove your fucking car.
- Dear, what are you doing?
- I'm taking a friend of
mine out for his walky walky.
- I won't do that if I were you.
- Why not?
- Because you'll get
into a fight again with
the dog next door,
the Brown's dog.
Every time he sees that
doberman, he draws blood.
- But Dynamite's gotta
have his walk, honey.
I'll tell you what, sweetheart,
if you're real good to me
tonight I'll take him out, Okay?
Oh, you're so sweet, Harold.
- Hey, Emma.
- Well, what will it be
today cute little Teddy bear?
- The usual, Toni. Just take
it around the block once.
Only, make sure my
wife never sees it.
- Oh, she won't.
(slow upbeat music)
- You want to suck
my cock, don't you?
Come on. Say you want
to suck my cock. Say it.
- I want to suck your cock.
- Say it with feeling.
- I want to suck your cock.
- Just get down
there and suck it.
- Hey baby. How
about the real drink?
- Oh sorry sweetheart,
you got to catch
one of my other girls.
I got to be on stage
in a half an hour
- What do you do?
- I'm a stand-up comedian.
- Standup comedian?
How come you're not
married raising a family?
- Yeah, I tried that once.
All he wanted to do was chain me
to the kitchen sink. Besides,
I made a promise to myself.
I'm going to be a star and
nobody's going to stop me.
(audience cheering)
- Settle down now, animal.
I don't know what's
wrong with her.
Anyone who's seen her orange
juice commercials knows
that chick's been
suckin' fruits for years.
(audience cheering)
For some reason I'm always on
a freeway. This is a problem.
I'm on the freeway.
I always get stuck behind a
camper. Ever have this happen?
Guys you can't go around
him. You can't go under him.
You can't go over him.
Follow him for 25 miles,
guys got a 48 Hudson
pickup with a camper
and their blue smoke
pouring out the back.
You ever look at the back
of a camper over here,
big decal of a deer over
here big decal of a fish
little decals all around showing
where the people have been.
Yosemite, Yellowstone,
Edna's house of oral love.
- I want to thank you. You've
really been a great audience.
(audience clapping)
- Manny just got
a brand new job.
He's going to be
Charles' leading man
in a brand new film called
"Sodom and Guacamole".
(audience cheering)
but we are proud to present
brand newcomer. (laughs)
During the day, this girl
works as a taxi driver.
But I've been seen her act
and let me tell you folks,
I'd like to make that
meter run, myself.
(audience cheering)
let's hear it for a
brand new comer, Toni.
(audience cheering)
- Do any of you recognize me?
(audience cheering)
No, because you know what, I
was on television yesterday.
Yes, I was. I was sitting on it.
(audience laughs)
No, really. I'm an
actress you know.
No, I really am an actress
I went to this
producer the other day
and he's got this
movie, you see?
and he even offered me a part.
- He offered me
a part, you know?
And I asked, "how big is it?"
he says "Well, its
about this big."
(audience cheering)
When he called, I stood
up from behind the table,
he was naked, he
was just this big.
I tried to get a job last
week as a Playboy bunny
Hey, what's the matter..
The only thing is that I
couldn't pass the rabbit test.
I mean the rabbit lived
but the doctor died.
People are really
weird in Hollywood.
as a matter of fact
everybody's just a little weird
in Hollywood.
They sleep with you one time
and right away they want
to take you to dinner.
(audience clapping)
(exciting music)
- Big Toni. Lets hear it
for the terrific Toni.
You've heard of the
Midas touch, right?
Where every time you touch
something, it turns to gold.
But Toni got a
special touch too.
Every time she touches
something, it turns limp.
(audience cheering)
- Hey, you were
great, you were great.
- Oh, thank you.
My name is Boris
Sablowsky, I'm an agent.
- Let me tell you.
- Wow. How do you do
- I could be able to get you
some work. Here's my card.
Call me during the day. Soon.
Talk soon. You were great.
- Sure. Thank you. Goodbye.
- So baby, you left me to
do standup and now you're
hookin' in the gutter.
- Johnny, I'm not
hooking nothing.
- Oh yeah, well your
lawyer rang me up.
You got a court date coming up.
You were busted
for prostitution.
- So, what's that to you?
- Depends. What is
your device, Toni?
- Not interested. Not a bit.
- You lousy little whore.
I was the best thing
that ever happened to you.
What does it take to
whet your appetite?
Here's a 20. More? How
about 50. Take it all,
everything I've got.
- Oh Johnny, you do care,
don't you? I love you.
- God, let's make
love like we used to
- I love you Toni, don't
ever leave me, okay?
- I have a real
break with an agent,
he might give me
some stage work.
- Listen, I don't
care what you do.
As long as you give up this
fucking cabs and the hooking
- I want you.
(slow upbeat music)
(woman moaning)
can I get condom?
(woman moaning)
(woman breathing heavily)
Fuck me. Fuck me.
(woman moaning)
- We need the job.
(couple moaning)
(rhythmic frictional rubbing)
(couple moaning)
(vocalized panting)
- I hate to lay you men off,
but those hookers are running
us right into the poor house.
- Well, what am
I supposed to do?
I've got a wife and
two kids to support
and doctor bills.
- Bitch about it to those girls,
there aint nothing I can do
- How can you let
a bunch of hookers
come destroy our business?
- All I know is that since
that since those pink cabs
hit the street, our
business is down 35%.
Well, I'm not going
to sit on my ass
and watch my kids starve.
- Damn right. We're going
to take care of this.
Come on. Let's go get 'em.
- I agree with you.
- Pinky five house,
the presidential fare.
- We're headed East on Wilshire
toward bank headquarters.
The president should be
getting off at any moment now
(upbeat music)
- Come on. Put your
lips around that.
- Pinky Two, come in Pinky Two.
This is Toni, what's your fare?
- 1 got it, Juicy Lucy
heading West on Fountain.
I'll be in clear in
about 20 minutes.
- What the hell is this?
- That's Juicy Lucy.
- Slip it right in,
you'll love fucking her.
- This is a thing I
can't fuck a thing.
- For 20 bucks,
that's all you get.
I mean she's juicy and tight.
Don't knock her till
you've knocked her.
- If you say so.
- Oh, dynamite.
Oh yeah. How's she feel? Does
she meet your qualifications?
Oh, slam that bitch.
- Lucy, Lucy, I love Lucy.
- Fuck her. Get it
there dude. Get it.
Oh, God, that looks
good. Ram her.
- Here, take it all in for me.
- Isn't she juicy and tight?
That looks delicious. Wish I
didn't have to drive the cab.
- I'm going to fuck you until
your ears bleed, you whore.
- Sweet as honey,
isn't it, sugar?
(muffled groans)
Stick it right in there.
- Ten four Pinky Six,
I'm meeting Frank
at the comedy
shop. Over and out.
(slow upbeat music)
- Hey, Toni. I'm ready
for another ride.
- Sorry, Bernie baby. I'm
going back to my husband.
I'm not hooking anymore.
- The Clark 69 has got
special treat for y'all now.
We got the royalty all
the way from Sweden.
I'd like to have the
queen step right up here.
Not you sir, I'm sorry.
(audience cheering)
- Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm a contestant from Poland.
My great grandmother
bought the title
from Sears and Roebuck.
And I know it doesn't
mean very much over here,
but in Poland it meant I
didn't have to do windows.
(audience cheering)
(car engine rumbling)
(door slams)
- What are you doing?
(woman screaming)
- You got her?
- Lets go.
- Open the door.
- (woman screaming
for help) Help! Help!
- Thank you. Thank you.
I love America but what really
bothers me about this country
is like there are people living
here who are so poor that
they are eating dog food.
In Poland, you wouldn't
dream of eating dog food.
Not even if you had nothing
to eat, we wouldn't eat that.
Why eat dog food when
you can eat the dog?
(audience cheering)
Thank you. Thank you.
One thing though, one
thing that really bugs me
about this country
and that's dating,
last night my boyfriend
took me out to dinner,
to a drive-in movie, and then
he tried to get fresh with me
in the backseat of his car.
Can you imagine how crude,
I mean the backseat,
if I can't make it
in the front seat,
I won't do it at all.
(audience cheering)
I tell you I'm so happy
to be in this country.
It's such a great place to live.
Where else would I get a
chance to wear underwear
that had written on it Monday?
- Get her, Sam. You're not going
to be able to sit in a taxi
after today, bitch. Suck
up. Suck up. That's it.
(woman effortful grunting-)
- Steal my cab, bitch.
Catch you in fucking
cab again baby,
I'll stick it down your
throat, you get that?
Next time, next time it's
going to be Tumble Bay.
Your ass is going to be
too sore to sit down baby.
(woman intensely breathing)
Suck it, all the way down.
(woman breathing intensely)
Goddammit.
- Fuck her where she breathes.
- Feel good?
- It's like you steal
cabs. Now suck some cock.
- Pump it in, Sam.
- Come on, suck.
- Get it in here.
- All the way down.
(woman groaning)
- Suck it.
- You can drive
little cabs, huh?
Answer me, cunt.
I asked if you're going
to drive any more cabs.
- No.
- Say no sir.
- No sir (yells painfully)
- Good girl.
- (woman yelling)
- Come here. We're
friends now, Baby.
That's it, girl. That's it.
(woman yelling)
- Here, you two know
each other, don't you?
(woman yelling and crying)
(cross talk)
(woman sobbing)
(phone rings)
- Hello.
- Hey, Betty. Have
you heard from Toni?
- No, I haven't.
- She was supposed to be
on stage a half hour ago.
- Toni just did that an hour
ago. She called from the cab
she said that she was
on her way to see you
at the comedy shop.
- Okay. Thanks a lot
- Good luck.
(door slams)
(car engine roars)
- 64 10 West fourth.
Step on it, will you?
- We'll put you out
of business, bitch.
We lost our fucking
jobs because of you.
Lick those fucking
balls. Lick 'em.
Toni has put it to you
Teach you to fuck around
with our cabs, baby.
(woman sobbing)
(women grunting)
- Fuck her.
Cum all over her face.
(cross talk)
- David, go get on the
radio and call up everybody.
You get 'em over here.
Free ass for everybody. Go.
Hurry up. It's not
gonna last forever.
You bitch, you fucking can't..
- Yo, 48 60 63 and 42, we
have a hot cake mommy here.
All ready for hot services,
- Henry here, I'll clear
my fare in 20 minutes.
- I can't wait to
fuck that bitch.
- Is there any of that
action I can getin on
- Just a little
private cabby business
a three dollar and
twenty cent fare.
- Hello, Betty.
- Hello, John.
- Any word from Toni.
Not a word, nothing John.
- What could've happened to her?
- Hope those yellow cab pricks
haven't done anything to her
They've been threatening
trouble all week.
- My God that's
it. It must be it.
They must've grabbed her.
Listen Betty, you grab
all the girls you can find
you meet me at 1486, Rich
Canyon as fast as you can okay.
- Okay, I'm on my way.
(couple moaning)
(trumpets begins)
(couple moaning)
(faint cross talks)
(cross talks)
(woman yelling)
(crosstalk)
(background music
drowns out speakers)
- Fuck that bitch.
- Did you hear me? You
are out of business.
Suck that dick.
(yelling)
(sounds of panic and commotion)
- Hey, its gonna turn out all
right in court today, okay?
- I hope so. John, this is
my last bust, I promise.
- I hope so.
- Get dressed, you're
going to be late.
- Please rise.
Be seated.
Sit down and take
off your hat, please.
- The city of Los
Angeles versus Toni.
Hmm. Interesting.
And how does the
defendant plead?
Your honor, the
defendant pleads guilty.
- Well then due to the
extenuating circumstances
in this case, I wish to see
the defendant in my chambers.
Recess 30 minutes.
(door slams)
- How come you never told
me that you were a judge.
- Shut up, Toni.
Come here and serve
your sentence.
- With pleasure.
(exciting music)
(upbeat music)