Taxi Girl (1977) - full transcript

Marcella (Fenech) inherits a taxi business from her father and now sets out on the job of her life. With each new fare she becomes involved with sex and crime all done up 70's Italian comedy style

At times they are ships,
at times they are planes,

at times they are tanks.
They always stuff themselves!

- Here comes our star driver!
- Hi, Marcella.

- Hi.
- Hi, guys.

I would say,
"Isn't your salary enough?"

You always talk about money!

If they gave you bundle of money,
you'd say you don't need it?

- Marcella!
- Alvaro, Europe's number one taxi driver.

Marcella, I brought you
another photo of your lover, Roman.

- My love!
- What about me?

- Excuse me.
- Young man!



Take me to Via Flaminia.

- What are you doing?
- Stop!

- Marcella, stop!
- Marcella!

Ramon, I haven't seen
you in such a long time!

Where have you been?

- In Venice, beautiful girl!

Ramon, you promised to take me
to Venice when we marry!

- Isn't that true?
- Yes, my darling!

Take these off. Let me see you.

I shot the photo-novel
"Anonymous Venetian Strikes Again".

My heart!

- Make love to me!
- Ramon!

Watch the stick shift!

Ramon.



Look at what they are doing!

They've taken their clothes off!

So this is what you're up to?

I'll fix you. You'll see!

Come here!

- Is it a hunter?
- How should I know?

Scoundrel! Hoodlum!
You're having sex in the car!

You coward!
Get out, you scum. I'll kill you!

Do you know her?

I met her a few years ago in church.

You took me to Venice
to celebrate our wedding anniversary.

So you're married!

Well, a bit!

- Really?
- No! Don't hit.

- Get out!
- But I'm naked.

- Where should I go?
- To Hell!

Wait! She isn't a woman.
She's an animal.

You take advantage of me
because I am small and helpless!

I give up, adored wife.
I can explain everything.

It was a moment of weakness.

No, my child. This is not good.

Your taxi can't make ten times
more than the others.

- You know what the neighbors say?
- No, and I don't care to know!

- That's right!
- Be quiet!

- I didn't talk!
- Be quiet!

You said "that's right". Coming from you,
a word is a stamp of approval.

You are the reason for the scandal!

You gave her the taxi virus!

Such a lovely girl could've found
a job at a department store.

She could marry an accountant.
Instead, she's in the car all day!

- We could even call her on the phone!
- At least I am not a masseuse!

- Right!
- Be quiet!

It's worse. At least nobody knows
who the masseuses are.

You even have a taxi license.
Who'll marry a woman with a license?

If you got married,
there is hope for anyone.

- I'm going. Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.
- Bye.

- Cover up your faces.
- Okay.

- Everyone, stop! This is a holdup!
- Back up! Don't move!

- No, not the boy!
- Stop!

Leave the boy alone!

- Get out. Hurry!
- What is it? I didn't do anything!

Bastard, leave that boy alone!

Police! Hands up!

Stop! Cut!

Who told them to go enter?
You shouldn't have gone in now!

- You came in too early!
- You're complaining about being alive?

- Who called you?
- How was I?

You were a piece of shit, as always!

Where is the producer?
Where are the extras?

Where are they?

- I'll kick your ass!
- How dare you?

- I am the director!
- Watch what you say!

You want to ruin me!

- Who are they?
- I don't know. What a commotion!

- They're the real police!
- The real police? What did you do?

If you wanted to send me to jail,
you could've told me!

Did you arrest them?

- Who is she?
- I called the police!

My compliments!

You did your duty as a citizen!

Such exemplary behavior!

Why don't you mind your own damn business?

You caused the intervention
of three police cars.

I saw those men with machine guns.

You thought it was a holdup.

But they were shooting a film
and it was all legal.

The production says you caused
18 million lire in damages!

- Chief, I don't have money!
- You don't have one lira?

Let's see what we can do.

Two felonies, three police cars,
the bank holdup, a big fiasco.

- Something needs to be done.
- Are you arresting me?

No. I want to see if I can bet
four in a row at the lottery.

- Want in on the bet?
- Yes, why not?

- Four on all the cities?
- Four on Rome.

- 10,000?
- All right.

- Goodbye, Chief.
- Goodbye.

Miss, the 5,000 liras?

- Good evening. Hi, Romolo.
- Hi, Alvaro.

Gino, put four wieners
with mustard here.

- What?
- Four wieners with mustard here.

- Hi, Marcella.
- Hi.

- Hi, Marcella.
- How are you?

- Terrible. Give me a Fernet Branca.
- Where were you?

- At the police station.
- Did something happen?

- It's all because of a film director.
- Who?

The kind who only shows
Rome being terrorized.

That director could have been
an opportunity for both of us.

- What opportunity?
- A career opportunity.

Can you imagine?
I am the Marlon Brando type!

What a couple we could make!
You're the damsel in distress

and I'm the brave
sheriff who rescues you!

Think of the box office!

Sheriff, your food.

I'm so hungry.

At least I got a bite.

- Where to?
- The airport. And hurry!

Faster, miss!
The plane leaves in half an hour!

This is a cab, not a missile.

I know, but if I don't
make that plane I'm ruined

I have to make it home to London tonight.

- I'll give you 100,000 if we make it!
- We'll get there for sure!

Just watch.

That'll teach him to drive
in the middle of the road!

Don't be afraid!

We'll take a shortcut.

Damn it.

- Did you fall?
- No, that's the way I always stop!

License and registration!

I'm in a hurry.

- You broke the law!
- It's not my fault, ask my passenger!

- Is something wrong?
- I can't move.

My chest...

- It's a heart attack!
- What?

Let's go to the hospital.
We'll escort you!

- Excuse me!
- Follow me!

Calm down. Grab his feet.

Put him down carefully!
Don't drop him, like you usually do!

Pick him up!

Symptoms of stroke with partial paralysis.

Extremely agitated even while paralyzed.

Possible fracture of the left femur...

Maybe a herniated disc?
My friend had that.

What are you talking about?
I shit my pants!

What are you doing on my motorcycle?
You're handsome!

I'll be the next Tomas Millian!

When I transfer to the theft squad,
he'll be nothing!

- This guy! You'd think he was Fabio Testi!
- Yeah, not even close!

I can tell this was tough on you.
We should keep in touch.

Sure.

With respect, there's probably lots of men
who might force themselves on you.

- Let me.
- I can tell you're different.

You're too kind. Tell me about yourself.

- Why? You writing up a report?
- No! Are you married?

No.

- Engaged?
- No.

- Boyfriends?
- No.

- Are you free?
- Very free.

- Flavia Residence.
- Residence.

Miss, I hope to see you again soon.

Certainly. Goodbye and thank you.

It was nothing! Drive safely...

Goodbye.

Did you see who was in that taxi?

Yes, a dream woman!
A wonderful young girl.

- No, the man with his leg in a cast.
- I don't care about men!

It was Adonis, the famous Mafia boss.

- Adonis? Let's follow him!
- Let's follow him!

- Go!
- Go!

Where are you going?

I'm taking a shortcut.

Like Franco Nero in Street Law.

I'm a lucky son of bitch.
Still in one piece.

Boss, how are you?
Do you feel more relaxed?

Everything is okay. Thanks, Rocco.

- My leg is full of morphine.
- Yes, it was quite a scene.

No, I said my leg is full of morphine.

I want to take it off soon. It's hard
getting around Rome with a cast.

I'll stay laid up with
my mistress for a bit.

You need a seamstress?
I'll find someone.

- No, mistress!
- Yeah, a seamstress!

- Don't pull my leg!
- You want an egg?

My leg! You're deaf! Pay the taxi.

- Yes, boss.
- An egg...

- Are you limping, too?
- I was just showing solidarity.

- How much?
- 2,700.

1,000.

2,000.

- 3,000. The rest is a tip.
- Thank you.

- Stop!
- What did I do now?

That's Adone Adonis, the infamous mobster.

Police everywhere
have been trying for years to get him.

Nobody can figure out
how he transports the drugs.

Really? I figured it out.

Adone Adonis?

- The mob boss?
- Yes, sir. We know where he is.

He's in a residence with his girlfriend.

A girlfriend? Good for him!

Chief, we found out
how he transports...

What?

- Drugs? What day is it?
- The 23rd.

A lucky number, 23!

Great! I smell a promotion in the air!

Tell me where Adonis is
and how he operates!

If I tell you, will you put me on
the anti-theft squad?

You can be on the anti-theft squad,
pro-theft squad,

in a squad car,
any squad you want!

Let's hurry!

Come on, or he'll get away!
Let's hurry! Come on!

Is it some kind of.... trap?

It's bad luck to walk under a ladder.
Let's go this way.

Hurry!

Open!
Adonis, we know you are here!

Darling!

- Who is it?
- Police! Open in the name of the law!

He does that to me?
Break down the door!

Useless. I'll do it!

It's a trick! Lift me up.

- Come on.
- What do you want?

Adonis, you're trapped!

Chief, do you have a warrant?

We have even better!
Officer, give me the hammer.

- A hammer?
- Here you are.

- Why a hammer?
- Don't worry. I can handle it.

You won't feel anything.

- Not the hammer!
- Yes.

Don't be afraid.
It'll only take a minute.

- Where are the drugs?
- Chief, I don't have drugs!

- You don't?
- No!

Look at what an actor!

The drugs are underneath!

- Well, Chief?
- Miss, forget it.

Did you get him?
Was it great intel I gave you?

Will you send me
to the anti-theft squad right away?

Fuck off!

Is that a new squad?

Vidal Bubble Bath
is a resin and pine extract

that produces a rich and active foam.

Hi, Alvaro.

- Marcella!
- Hi.

- Is there work this morning?
- Not one call in an hour.

- Then I'll get gas.
- Go on.

Marcella, you're up early this morning.

- The usual?
- Yes.

Yes, I'll tell her right away.

Marcella!

- Marcella, Ramon just called!
- I don't want to talk to him.

It's a matter of life or death!
Go to the photo studio.

- What happened to him?
- I don't know.

Marcella, the pump!

She returned it.

My divine creature! My love!
Thank you for coming.

- What happened?
- Come. I'll explain.

What is a matter of life or death?

Sun of my life!
Marcella of my heart!

What time is it?

I still have an hour left.

My wife isn't at my house.
Let's go there, I want you!

- Let's go to bed!
- Take your wife to bed!

No. You must be mine!
My blood is fiery! My head is bursting!

Then go to a doctor.

Don't joke.

I told you it's a matter of life or death!

- You know what this is?
- A suppository.

No.

It's a vial containing cyanide.

It is the most powerful poison
that exists.

If you say no,
if you won't accept being mine,

I will clench it between my teeth
and say goodbye to you.

Ramon!

Ramon! My love, say something!

How the hell do I talk?
I bit my tongue!

You tongue?
But your mouth is full of poison!

I smell lemon!

- It's a lemon candy!
- Yes, it's vitamin C!

But now I know you still love me!

- What are you doing?
- Go away! Get out!

You always push me on the ground!

Stop! Marcella!

Against the power of the bosses!
Against the spreading black violence!

We are occupying the factory!

Fascists! Crooks!
Go back to the gutter!

I will return!

I will return and will win!

Get him! Kill the instigator!

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I think he appreciated our assistance.

Why did you stop me?
Was I speeding this time too?

No. I stopped you
for a personal reason.

I saw you coming
and said to myself,

"Walter," my name is Walter,

"Walter, why don't you stop
Miss Marcella and..."

-"And say good morning to her?"
- Exactly!

Yes. Well, good morning.

She said "good morning,"
trying to act all nonchalant!

Go on! I know she likes me!
She's pretending she doesn't.

Watch this American-style getaway.

Just like Bronson of the Flying G-Men.

Go!

- What will you do now?
- I'll do as the Romans do.

I'll take a walk!

- Wait for me here.
- All right.

Your Highness.

All these people
won't fit in my taxi.

They are the wives of His Highness
Abdul Lala, the great sheik.

I don't care.

He's the world's richest oil sheik.

Good morning.

- Is 50 dollars enough?
- Yes.

Just enough to get the springs fixed.

The sheik very much appreciated
the efficiency of your taxi.

Thank you. I'll will tell Mr. Agnelli.

The sheik would like to offer you
$100,000 to buy your taxi. Understand?

What?

-$100,000 US dollars?
- Yes.

Really? Did he say that?

Yes, 100,000 dollars.
I suggest that you accept.

Come back tonight at 9:00
to close the deal.

Marcella, how much
is the dollar worth?

Right now it's 800 lire,
but it fluctuates.

Even if it fluctuates,
it's still 80 million!

Yes. Do you think it's a scam?

No. They don't want to swindle you.
Is the beer coming?

The sheiks have gold toilets
and platinum washing machines.

For them, 80 million is nothing.

But don't give him your taxi license.

Why would he need a license?
A sheik is not gonna be a taxi driver!

Gaddafi sells automobiles.

- I'm leaving. Bye.
- Bye.

- Marcella.
- Yes?

I can't sell the taxi,
but I have a Vespa 125.

Tell him I'll sell it for $30,000.

- All right. I'll tell him.
- Bye.

Gino, you gave me an empty bottle!

- It's empty?
- Look.

It was nice and cold!

You must wear one of these.

The sheik doesn't receive women
dressed in European clothes.

You're sure he wants
to buy my taxi for $100,000?

Yes. Only you must respect
the customs of the palace.

Nobody else would give you
$100,000 for your old taxi.

Come on. The sheik is waiting!

What will the sheikh do with my taxi?

Only Allah knows.

Only Allah.

Just dress as the sheik wants.

You must dress in Eastern clothing.

From the top to the bottom.

The beauty of the body
must be shown

by veils keep things from being revealed.

What's important
is that the face is covered.

You creep!

Come forward.

Come forward. Don't be afraid.

- What is your name?
- Marcella.

Marcella, you will dance for me.

You'll do a belly dance.

I came to sell my taxi.
I don't know that dance.

I'll give you 200,000 dollars.

200,000 dollars?
It would be like two taxis.

Let me clarify that.
100,000 dollars for the taxi

and 200,000 dollars to dance.

Whoever pleases Abdul Lala
will have many advantages.

I'd gladly do it,
but I dance the Twist, the Shake,

the Cha-Cha-Cha, the Tango.

I can't do a belly dance.

Hey! Don't make a fuss!

I came to bring a letter
and now I'm playing the flute.

Dance!

All right. I'll try.

Play.

Everyone out! Out!

- I want to buy you.
- Excuse me?

- I want to buy. I'll pay.
- You want to buy the taxi?

No. I don't care about the taxi!

Thursday I bought a Ford,
Friday a Fiat,

I bought an Alfa Romeo,
and today I'm buying you!

You want to buy me?
Aren't your wives enough?

Every night it's the same
50 dishes, my dear! I'm getting bored!

Every night 50 dishes?

Yes. But always the same 50.

- I'll sign a check.
- No. Are you crazy?

What? You dare refuse
the proposal of a great sheik?

Abdul Lala, take this offer!

- Stop! Come back here!
- Goodbye!

- No, wait!
- Let me go, fatso!

I want to buy you and your taxi!

- Goodbye!
- Stop!

- It's not my fault!
- Quick! To the car.

Wait! I want a taxi!

Let's take the car. Climb in!

I got stuck with the horny sheik!

I'm speeding like crazy
and now the cops don't stop me!

I always meet Walter.
Where is he now?

He must be with some slut!

Yeah, sluts! It's a good idea!

Go on!

Go on, princess!

We are working!

We are just working! Leave us alone!

Stop! Stop, Marcella!

They're always
talking about free love...

Get in. Go on!

Marcella! I am here for Marcella.
Let her go!

- Do you know who I am?
- Get inside!

Do you know who I am?
You don't know who I am.

You don't know!

He doesn't remember who he is
and makes fun of me!

Don't you understand
that the sheiks have oil?

If they get angry,
they'll make us all walk!

Your taxi will stop,
the police cars will stop,

radios, movies,
and airplanes will stop!

The papers will stop
and the country will be in danger!

Just because I pushed that fatso?

Chief, I don't care about all this.

If you want to arrest me, go ahead!

I don't want to arrest you.

Today is Friday the 17th.
It brings bad luck.

I don't want to arrest you.
Send two patrolmen in.

I'll have you accompanied home.
You can't go around like this.

- I don't want to bother too much.
- Yes, sir!

Take the lady to the taxi
and escort her home.

Yes, sir.

It's incredible!

I would never have imagined
finding you with Etruscan clothes!

- Don't they look good on me?
- Everything looks good on you.

I have to make a confession.

I have been overtaken by a sudden
and overwhelming passion for you.

- Are you an orphan?
- No.

- Do you have a father and a mother?
- Yes, why?

Maybe you didn't notice.

I've lived on the continent for years
and speak the language well.

- But I am Sicilian...
- And?

...and old-fashioned.
I wish to talk to your parents.

Call them on the phone then.

- I want to ask them for your hand!
- Why not ask me?

I already know your opinion.
You don't need to talk.

The flame of love and passion
sparkles in your eyes.

- Marcella, I want you!
- You have cold hands!

There's time for that later,
let's go look at my motorcycle.

It's wonderful! Just out of the shop.
Come and see.

Come now!

Did I disturb you?
Were you two kissing?

Lots of time to kiss.
Let's worry about the bike now!

I just got it from the shop.
It's been modified.

Honed pistons, lowered head gasket,
Abarth exhaust pipe!

It's the bomb!

- Gas price is going up.
- We need a horse carriage!

- Watch out!
- Tell me ahead of time!

Hello? Who are you?

I'm not good enough for you?
He prefers Marcella.

- He's right!
- Marcella, he wants you.

Marcella, you're not
in your home here!

They say the phone is always busy!
They are right.

- I'm always the match-maker!
- Stop it!

Hello? Ramon, what do you want?

You know that I am working.

I don't want
to talk to you anymore. Goodbye.

Wait, Marcella. Don't hang up!
Soul of my heart.

I've wonderful news
that will fill you with joy.

- I got a separation from my wife!
- Really?

- Yes, beautiful!
- I don't believe you.

I swear. It's the truth.

My life is totally spiritual now.

I long for you.

You must believe me.
I'll explain everything in person.

I'll come to your place tomorrow
at 7:30 when I get off work. Okay?

- No.
- Why not?

- At 8:00.
- Yes. Kisses.

Bye.

- He just wants in your pants.
- It's not your business.

One of these days I'll run him over
with the car and shred him to pieces!

Gorgeous.

Splendid!

Tonight I will go wild.

My divine creature!

- A kiss?
- Later. If you deserve it.

I have a car.

Please.

"Say it with flowers". Fuck off!

Let's dance!

MINGHETTI CLUB
DANCING

Worn tires.

The antenna doesn't conform to norms.

Permit has expired
and there's probably no triangle!

Brakes are not efficient!

The license plate isn't visible!

Whoever you are,
you cursed and disgusting individual,

I will ruin you financially!

Sir, this is the best.

Blanc de Blanc,
Prince of Piedmont.

All right, leave it.

Marcella, my Marcella...

I feel like we've gone back
to our happy days.

Happy days?
You even have the courage to speak?

Bravo!

And now,
there was a request for a tango.

Tango, the passionate tango!

Let's dive into this tango.

- Miss, may I have this tango?
- Hell yes!

Watch out. You'll hurt yourself.

- Let's follow that couple.
- Which one?

Thank you.

Let's do a dip!

What's wrong?

Help! Pull me out!

My head!

- What is this? A revolution?
- Christmas letters!

"Not licensed to operate
vehicle for fishing cod."

"Parking on road
meant for military vehicles."

"Parking in intense air traffic zone."

This is a war!
I don't understand.

They fined me
but not the other cars. Why?

Don't worry. I know someone
who works in the police force.

Very good!

Don't be shy. Come in.

Careful not to wake up the cat.

Please.

It's such a big home
for a man who is alone.

In fact, I don't live alone.
The rent is very high.

No. Two colleagues live here,
two actors.

Their rooms are locked and off-limits.

This is my room. Come in.

This is my bedroom.
I live here like a monk.

Do you like it?

How lovely!

This is a little boy's room.

Yes, yes.
This is a little boy's room!

It is my room.

My Marcella,
ever since you left me,

I've had an infantile regression.

All right.
Now we'll play blind man's bluff.

I'll put on this magnificent handkerchief.

- Hurry. Catch me!
- Where are you, Marcella?

- I'm here, come get me!
- I'll catch you!

- Catch me! Come on!
- I've got you...

I caught you, Marcella!

You will be mine forever!

With you I can forget my horrible wife.

Give me a kiss!

You bastard! Ungrateful scoundrel!

Help! She's killing me!

Listen to that scum!
Go kill yourself!

- Marcella!
- Who are you? Don't touch me!

Marcella, listen.
Let's talk honestly, man to man.

I mean man to woman.
Lean here.

Listen to the voice of my heart!
What am I doing?

Get inside. Easy!

All right. Do it by yourself.

Just a moment.
I'll be right there!

I'll have that man disappear
from your life forever!

I'll stab him in the heart!

- I'll do it twice!
- I'd be honored to do it for you.

Are you married?

Do you have a girlfriend?

Are you betrothed to a woman?

Then kiss me!

The brake!

Don't be so violent!

We must make the engagement
official first.

I bought a small ruby.

You like it?

The ruby disappeared!
Wait. I'll find it!

Who cares! Kiss me!

Give an offering
to a son of Jehovah.

No. You are a son of a bitch!

Against the wear and tear
of modern life!

- My compliments. The home is lovely.
- Thank you.

It is pleasant, cozy, and clean.

The bedroom will be all ours.

While the bathroom, kitchen
and living room are for everyone.

- Where do we sleep?
- On the terrace.

With a little work
that isn't that expensive,

we'll make a comfortable room
for Dad and Mom.

Yes. We are old and will adapt.

I have to sleep on the terrace.

- How much do you earn a month?
- 185,000 liras, gross.

That should be enough for family expenses.

There's 20,000 liras
for my delightful wife!

Then they are 15,000 liras
for every child and we'll have six.

- Only six?
- We'll reassess after the first six years.

Shall we split the wedding expenses?

Yes, Dad. Sure.

Marcella and I will contribute
with the money from the taxi sale.

What? I am selling the taxi? Why?

She asks "Why?"

Marcella, you should understand it
by yourself!

The wife of an honored policeman

drives in a taxi, with strangers
and unknown people?

- People will laugh at us!
- That's true.

A woman is the angel of the house.

She must wash, iron,
and take care of the children.

We are all feminists now,
so on Sundays she can go out by herself.

- To the church.
- Thank goodness!

What a lovely smell.
I can't wait to taste it!

- How is it?
- It may need a little salt.

- Taxi!
- Stop!

Good evening. Where are we going?

- To...
- To the Scarabocchio.

Rocco, will that man
come to my house later?

No, I didn't get the paper.

I hope that man
isn't like that last courier!

There's no need to shout.
I am not deaf.

I heard very well.
That man won't bother us anymore.

I calmed him down. Gave him
two lead candies. Nine millimeter.

Know who's next?
The lady in black who wears glasses.

- This is a nasty business.
- Why is she having sea sickness?

- You are a lost cause.
- Yes, we can take a pause.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Pay up.

Here you go.

The rest is a tip.

Fine. Take him in the other room.

- Yes... yes, sir...
- Cut your hair!

Excuse me.

I feel I may be wasting your time again.

No. Today is the 13th. It's a lucky day.

Your information matches

that of the owner of
the Capricorno who works for us.

He told us about a large quantity of drugs

that entered Italy
and that Adonis is trying to buy.

- Understand?
- Who is Cucinotta?

He is a Sicilian
who wanted to buy the drugs

but got two bullets
nine-millimeter caliber, in his back.

- Who is the lady in black?
- We are the lady in black.

They are shrewd,
not like that idiot sheik

who made you do a belly dance.

Get up.

- Why?
- I must see something.

Do men like you a lot?

- I surely don't make them sick.
- Surely.

When they see me,
they undress me with their eyes.

- Chief, you too?
- No, not me!

Right now it's the officer
looking at you, not the man.

I am seeing if you have
psycho-physical requisites

for a special mission.

A mission?

Did you understand everything?

Remember the police number?
One, one, three.

Yes, I wrote it down, 113.

Be careful. Those people are suspicious.

Don't worry.
My face is above any suspicion.

If you say so.

Well, I'll be going. Bye.

Be careful. If something happens to you,
I'll cause a massacre!

- Don't worry.
- Bye.

Good evening.

- Cut your hair!
- Hello? This is the station.

- Any news?
- Everything is all set.

The operation is ready,
and so are the cars.

- The engines are warming up.
- They must move when I say.

- Understand?
- Yes, sir. Attention.

What's up?

- Your ID!
- I don't have it. What?

- Chief--
- What are you doing here?

We are on duty.

- You will come with me.
- Yes, sir.

- Chief, is it big stuff?
- Yes!

- Good evening, Mr. Adonis.
- Hi.

- Yes. Have a good time.
- Thank you.

- Hi.
- Good evening.

- Give me a bottle of J&B.
- For me too.

Hi. See you later. I am busy now.

When is the merchandise coming?

- Tonight.
- It's about time!

- Not lunchtime. I said tonight.
- Yes, I understood.

Are you dancing by yourself?

- Take it my coat.
- Let's sit here.

Please. After you.

- Do you like it, love?
- Yes. Who know how much it costs me.

Don't worry. For once we must celebrate.

Love, you always celebrate
with my money.

Here she is, for the first time in Italy,

the sexy doll, Sheila Boom!

We must watch for the Neapolitans
with their drugs.

- I don't care about the Neapolitans!
- The Metropolitan?

I am tired of speaking to a deaf man.
Use a hearing aid.

Of course I paid.

Be quiet, imbecile.

- Would you like a scotch?
- What do we need scotch tape for?

- Do you need it?
- Two, with lots of ice.

Very well.

You scoundrel!

You took me to look at that floosie's ass.
I'll cobber you!

- Who is she?
- She's new. I've never seen her.

- Find out.
- I should go out?

- Who is going out?
- What should I do?

- Go get information!
- Right away!

You knew nothing about it?

- You're making a fool of me!
- No, Ornella, don't get angry.

Judas!

I won't use bad words
because I am a gentleman.

Really? Then you'll pay
the bill by yourself!

When you get home, I'll beat you!

Watch yourself!

Ornella, wait!
My love, don't leave me.

I have no money!

- Are you begging?
- No.

Ornella! I'm begging!

- Madam, did you have fun?
- I sure did!

- Go away!
- Wait! Don't make me suffer!

Where are you going?
I can't live without you!

Ornella! Please!

At least leave me some money!

Taxi.

- Follow that car!
- No. I am not on duty.

- What are you doing here?
- Why do you care?

I'm on surveillance!

- What?
- I'm doing surveillance!

- Don't look! Close your eyes!
- Yes!

- Did you close them?
- I swear.

- Did you get information?
- Yes.

- Who is she?
- She's new!

- That so?
- What should I offer?

You decide, not too much.

- Not too much.
- Fine. Give me a cigar.

- What?
- Give me cigar.

Right away.

- Cigar?
- I can't find it. My eyes are closed.

- Open just one.
- May I open it?

Just one. Give me a cigar.

- What?
- A cigar!

If Marcella is in danger, I will stay.

No. You got her in enough trouble.

- I know. I have a moral duty.
- A moral duty?

- With your face?
- Look who's talking!

- You have an ass face!
- What?

Did he like me?

- Here she is!
- Down!

Good evening.

Hello.

Hi, beautiful.
What are you waiting for? Go!

- I'll follow that car!
- Follow that car!

- Are you repeating my words?
- Let's go!

- What are you doing, rehearsing?
- Let's go!

Faster!

- Don't shout!
- Don't lose sight of her, Adelante!

My name is Alvaro!

Why these faces?
Aren't we here to have fun?

Don't look so serious.

Yes, we'll have fun.
At least we hope so.

- We're going to a show?
- He is funny!

Rocco isn't funny. He's an idiot.

In New York I met a man
filled with humorous spirit.

They had drowned him
in a barrel of aged grappa.

Good one?

Pay attention!

They are taking that street!

Watch out!
You almost made me crash!

- Why are you here?
- Follow them!

How lovely! How marvelous!

- Come in, doll!
- It's so big!

- Do you like my shack?
- It's magnificent!

It cost me a lot of money.

Rocco, give me a cigar.

- A cigar.
- What?

A cigar. If you take any longer,
I'll lose the habit of smoking!

- Do you prefer a Cuban or Tuscan one?
- Cuban.

- Doll, what is your name?
- Sheila.

- It's a northern name. Sheila.
- Shale?

I said Sheila!
Let's use a simpler name.

Rosetta, it's a great evening.
We'll have a pile of fun!

No, two piles of fun!

- Rocco, prepare a bath.
- The little or big one?

- The master one, idiot!
- Because you two...

- Go!
- All right.

Doll, we'll get to know
each other better now.

I heard you were new in this field.

Yes.

- Brand new!
- Brand new? Great!

- You know why I ask?
- No.

Because I think I've already
seen you before.

They say I look like Marilyn Monroe!

- Let's go see what is going on.
- No, let's stay here.

- Hurry!
- No need to get tough.

- Must we go there?
- Let's go!

Let's go.

Don't make noise.

- Now. Let's go.
- Okay.

Oh my God! That's it!

- Do you know him?
- No.

- Introduce yourself.
- My pleasure. I'm Álvaro Gigante.

He can't understand.
He's a Doberman. Speak German.

Volkswagen! Beckenbauer!

He doesn't understand me.

- Are you afraid?
- No. I always piss my pants!

We're leaving!

Let's go or it will eat us!

Hey, doll.
What do you think about this place?

- It is very intimate!
- It's my alcove.

Relax, doll. Get to bed!

I'm not sleepy!

Are you stupid or just getting wise?

I didn't take you here to sleep.
Get on the bed!

Now listen carefully.

I like you a lot
and want to lie down with you.

You want to make love?

- Exactly.
- You made a mistake!

- You should have said so sooner.
- Is there a problem?

Yes. I choose my own men, Mr. Adone!

I should be the one to slap!

You'll pay for it!

Boss.

- Boss.
- Be quiet.

Excuse me.

- What do you want?
- The courier has arrived!

-Corriere della Sera?
- The drug courier.

And just when this chick
was falling for me.

- You fell?
- Did the courier bring the stuff?

Yes, but first he wants to talk to you.

I'll talk to him. You watch the chick
and if she tries to run away...

- Hit her hard.
- You want to play cards?

- Play cards?
- What are you talking about?

Forget it!

What's wrong with him?

Hello? I can't hear!

Chief, I am ready. Are you ready?

I'll tell you the place
where the crime took place.

Tell me.

Drive down highway 8
until the two roads meet,

8-B and 8-D.

8-D is a road on the outskirts

that is found between
kilometer 12.6 and 14.1.

- That where you find the 1.
- I'll get her.

-Get who?
- You said that's the one.

It's not the hideout!

You have a nice virile chin!

It's hot!

Where is the boss?

He left me alone in this bed!

Lovely.

Beautiful!

You have a profound look,

a sensual one.

Why don't you speak?

Tell me something!

She spoke!

- Wake up!
- May I have some coffee?

It's been a while. What are they doing?

If I were in his place...

You're telling me!

I'll keep sleeping.
Tell me if something happens.

Yes, I... He's already asleep!

Not one policeman
has appeared yet.

And now it's raining!

Chief, come right away.
I've the situation in hand.

- What is going on?
- Get near your friend.

- What are you saying?
- Quiet or I'll shoot.

Hold the bag, nincompoop!

How dare you in my home!
Put that gun away!

- I'll shoot!
- I'm not playing anymore. I give up!

- Go on, shoot!
- Stop or I'll shoot!

Shoot!

Oh, God, blood!

It's water!
Rocco has a squirt gun!

- Idiot, it's water!
- Noise bothers me.

- Clown!
- Who went down?

- Let's surround the villa!
- The police!

- Let's go.
- Yes.

Follow me.

Stop. The coast is clear.
Come on.

- Hurry. Open the door!
- There's a war?

The door!

Hurry!

Stop!

Shoot!

Search the villa.

- The drugs are in the bag.
- Let's follow them!

- Marcella, what is going on?
- Now you come? I'll drive.

Go slowly. The engine is new.
I had it put in three years ago.

- Road is full of police!
- Yeah, not a moment of peace!

- The police!
- We're going to your niece?

- At this hour?
- I don't know.

- You don't understand jack shit!
- Who is Jack?

- What are you saying?
- He has to shit?

There they are. Accelerate.

Marcella, my love! Soul of my heart!

- You're here too?
- Let's change places.

Easy!

- Darn you!
- No, darn you!

Ramon is in the car with that woman!

I'll get you!

- Get out, scoundrel!
- You are insulting me?

- Yes!
- I'm a man with a soul!

- I have my honor!
- Then get lost with it!

I'm a man!

- Where are you going?
- Who gives a shit.

Marcella, wait!

I was kidding! Marcella!

Stop!

He clobbered me!

- Ornella!
- Delinquent!

I'll kill you! I'll run you over!

Police! Help!

Directly from the station
we inform you that patrol cars

led by Chief Angelini

are following the dangerous Adone Adonis.

Marcella, why was that man in your car?

Answer me! Marcella!

- Speak up!
- Go away!

Stop! Marcella, wait for me!

Stop! Stop!

My motorcycle has gone mad!

You can't drive!
Is that any way to stop?

Go on, get on!

Hurry. We must follow them!

I'll stop them!

- Fire!
- Yes, chief.

No, shoot!

- Where!
- At the round things!

You must shoot
at the car's wheels!

Get the jack. Quick.

Idiot!

Attention! The chief's car
has stopped because of a flat tire!

We'll time how long it takes
to change the tire!

Brigadier Macaluso of the
Scrofano squad holds the record.

They are working in synch
and secured the bolts.

He broke the record! The car
starts up again in 18 seconds!

Go!

- We must think of something.
- Get closer to Adonis' car.

- I'll take care of it.
- Yes. Be ready. We're close.

It's going to be
just like in the movies! Watch.

- Someone knocked.
- Who is it?

I am the Law!

Are you shooting?

I flew off the car!

Isidoro, your partner Walter
will avenge you!

A black cat!

Stop!

- Please, go ahead!
- You go first!

- No, Chief. You go first.
- Me first? You are the bandit!

No, I don't want to go first!

Go ahead. Nothing will happen!

See, the cat was bad luck.
You wanted me to go first.

I'm not stupid, Chief.

Follow him!

Do you think
we could stop for a drink?

Chief, I'll take care of it!

No. I must get him,
or goodbye promotion!

After a brief stop, the chase resumes
with Adonis in the lead,

but the yellow taxi zig-zags closer.

Go! Stay away!

You want war?

Are we at the amusement park?

Marcella! Come back!

How can I?

Adonis' Giulia is in the lead,
followed by the taxi

and three police cars, but one of
our bikes is reaching the Giulia.

Adonis, get out of the car!

You are in my hands!

Help! Stop!

Too bad. He is being pulled
so he risks being disqualified.

Are you having fun?

The cars are now all in a group.

The taxi tries to overtake
the Giulia on the inside! It fails!

Oh, God!

You scum!

Alvaro, let me get off!

Marcella, come here!
Wait for me!

Here they are!

Adonis' Giulia is in the lead
and cuts the finish line

at the entrance of the movie studio.

The group follows it in a line.

When the director says "Action!"
turn the corner and shoot.

When I say "shoot", it means shoot!

Roll camera.

- Mark!
- 23-8, first take.

Action!

- Stop!
- I got him!

Stop!

Why are these cars here?
Where are you going?

The production isn't working.
Where is Innocenzi?

No cars now!

Idiot, get up!
You don't know how to act wounded!

Nobody believes it!
You don't know how to act!

You don't even know how to die.
Get up!

The cars are still here!

Hurry. Time is money!
Let's not waste time!

Let's film it all!

Go on! Continue!

- Who are you?
- Bikers on horseback. They're they are!

Film it! It will be
the masterpiece of the century!

For the 7th Calvary!

Charge!

Charge!

The 7th Cavalry goes past the gates,
gets to the exterior

and follows the group.

- It's the American cavalry.
- Yes, a real rivalry.

- Who are you talking about?
- You said it.

- You never understand jack shit!
- Who is this Jack?

I am not deaf!

This is Bologna 19, I'm Marcella.
I need everyone. It's an emergency.

- Be ready to take my orders.
- Received, Marcella.

Where are we going?

The cars are converging downtown.
We follow them on the board.

These taxi drivers can't drive!

Another taxi!
When you need one, you never find it.

The group has assembled again,
and is going up to the Gianicolo.

The Piaggio Vespa is in the lead
of this impassioned duel!

Even the 7th Cavalry has made it!

Long live the 7th Cavalry!

- I told you so!
- It's not my fault!

- Go on!
- Be quiet!

Watch out! Let the car by!

We want to report a missing person!

Keep calm!

Our luminous board
shows that the race is about to end.

They are getting close!

Take me home.
I'm not having fun.

Let me out!

- Hi, Mom!
- Marcella!

They are close!

Finally, we've arrived!

- We have him trapped!
- Where's the cameraman? Get him here!

- Don't worry, Isidoro!
- This horse doesn't have brakes?

I'll hold it. Get off.

This doesn't happen in Hollywood.

I am the famous Ramon Rodriguez!

Who is he? Who is this guy?

- Who is she? King Kong?
- How dare you?

Welcome. Come on. Are you all right?

Mom! My beautiful mother!

Yes! Come to Mom! Let's go.

You are the chief!

Get him!

Marcella! My love, where are you?

- Adonis is running away!
- Out of my way!

I'll clobber you!

Move!

Charge!

Come here! Stop!

Stop! Delinquent!

I got you!

There he is!

Charge!

Charge!

- Halt! Everyone stop!
- Thank goodness. I'm tired.

Let's join hands. One, two...

Ring around the rosies,
a pocket full of posies

Ring around the rosies,
a pocket full of posies

Subtitles edited by: Jerrold Cameron