Taxi (1998) - full transcript

To work off his tarnished driving record, a hip taxi driver must chauffeur a loser police inspector on the trail of German bank robbers.

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- How fast, Paulo?

- 4'32.

Fucking hell!

A new record the day you quit.

Something to remember me by.

Frame that,

you won't need it again.

A speech, Joe!

Where's Daniel?

You all know Daniel handed in

his resignation last night.

He's giving up 2-wheelers

for 4-wheelers.

He's not like a normal guy

who starts on all fours

and ends up on his own two feet.

He was the best among us.

And, above all, a perfect colleague!

We'll miss you!

Did you kiss me, Lily?

Or did your lips slip?

I'd just like to know where I stand.

Is that better?

If you slipped again,

you're really clumsy.

To celebrate Daniel's departure,

let's have a parade!

Watch this, Lily,

you won't see it again.

- How many are there?

- A lot.

The greatest...

Move it, man!

Wow!

Bingo!

Having a party?

- Pizza guys?

- Pizza Fuzz.

We're out of boxes

but we'd like to see your license.

I must have left it inside

but I can get it.

Make it snappy-

Corning right up...

Move it!

They've had 5 minutes...

Watch out for the oil...

Oil?

Yeah, it's my pad...

but it's a garage too.

It's not much, you know.

It's different...

I've known you two years.

Why didn't you ever bring me here?

I need time to reach a decision.

What made your mind up?

The neckline.

Pretty, isn't it?

It's brand new.

We'll try not to spoil it.

Could this ruin our friendship?

We've laid the foundations,

now let's build.

- We could wait...

- No way.

You'd think I don't Want this.

I don't want to be rude.

- Oh no!

- What?

- Six o'clock.

- So? It's Saturday.

- It's for a job.

- What?

You didn't find a new job overnight!

No, it's about my next job.

I've waited months for this.

I thought you'd waited months

for me...

Make that months, plus one hour.

An hour at the most.

Hey, greenhorn,

you need a ticket.

Remember the photos next time.

77!

247... I'm in for a long wait.

- Been in the trade long?

- 25 years yesterday.

I just retired.

This is the first time

in 25 years

that I can read the paper.

Oh, right...

Wakey-wakey, 247!

Here I am!

Your ticket, two photos.

Sign here... and here.

Driver's professional card,

transport certificate,

meter acquisition papers,

log-book,

plate and the roof unit.

That's it?

- After 6 years?

- Want a marching band?

No, but a smile would help.

248!

Midday.

I've gone for croissants

and married the baker in despair.

Good-b ye. See you later.

Congratulations, Mr Daniel!

It's nothing...

No, really...

A tourist now?

Your send-off was a blast!

Ace.

Somethings worrying me...

What's up?

That thing sounds weird.

Does it work?

It's tanked up with vitriol!

I just pissed off

two cops downtown.

Left them standing!

Listen to this.

Two motorcycle cops on the boulevard.

Before they could get into first,

I'd hit the beach!

They were green!

They'll need a week to get over it.

I went racing through the tunnel,

burning rubber.

I heard one call for his morn!

They won't forget old Paulo.

You're right, Paulo.

They haven't.

Hey, girls!

Still got your moustaches?

How about the beach, girls?

Free ride today.

My treat, let's go...

Are you a "taxi" taxi

or a nice taxi?

This driver's the friendly type

who opens doors,

drives steadily,

speaks when he's spoken to

and helps if you ask nicely.

Perfect!

Where to then?

See that house?

The pink one?

With the carriage entrance?

- Yeah, I see it...

- The pink one...

That's where.

Do you have a favourite route?

Put it in the kitchen,

I'll tidy up later.

It'll feed you a week.

No, my son's coming to lunch

tomorrow.

All this for one meal?

No, I do his meals for the week

and he takes them home with him.

He doesn't have a kitchen there.

He can't even boil an egg.

That's him on the photo,

next to the rake.

He's only happy

stuck at his computer.

He works for IBM.

To each his own...

True. What about you?

I drive.

But you had no time to notice.

My son's taking his driving test

for the eighth time today!

Eight's my lucky number,

he'll be okay.

At the end of the street,

we'll turn...

We'll turn left!

Left, Mr. Kermadec!

Fucking turn!

Are you stupid?

I don't fucking believe it!

I've never met a moron like you!

You can't tell right from left?

You said it too late.

I'll fax you next time!

Left is fucking left!

Turning a wheel is simple enough!

To each his own...

What does a cretin like you do?

Circus clown? Zoo-keeper?

Dole officer?

All three.

You should've said...

I'll fax you next time?

Excuse me...

What'll it be, Chief Inspector ?

Lovely...

You deserve it. You've been so kind.

I'll keep your card.

Do you mind if I eat in the car?

I ought to get to work.

Not at all. Off you go!

Can you save my life?

In theory, no.

It depends.

What are the symptoms?

I have a flight in 25 minutes.

If I miss it, I'm dead.

If I catch it, you'll be rich.

Your luck's in.

I'm not a doctor

but I like emergencies.

Please fasten your belt.

Let's get going...

We're off.

A white cab! Speeding!

- It knocked down the radar.

- Okay, got the number?

Too fast!

Keep your eyes open on the job, pal.

Will we make it?

If I'm going to miss the plane,

we can take our time.

Don't worry, we'll speed up

once we hit the freeway.

Don't take any risks for me.

I'd hate you to lose your license.

That's okay, I don't have one.

Brilliant...

14 and a half minutes.

Time to buy a paper and have coffee.

Have a safe trip.

I don't get it.

I win at this every time.

Eight records at Monaco...

But on the street, I come a cropper.

Well, can we drink it?

Not right away.

I don't believe it!

I know champagne ages well

but this stuff's getting mouldy.

What was it this time?

A butcher's for once,

not a news-stand.

Know what?

Get a mouse fitted in your car

instead of the wheel.

Handicapped people do that...

Come on...

I've got a new record for you.

A cab, by the port...

Guess how fast.

85?

At first, then he changed gears.

135 mph, pal!

You caught him?

Sure, we called the air force in.

Heard this one? It's a blast.

What's the difference

between a comb and a boiled egg?

You're busy...

I'll call back later.

Right! Much later.

After dark,

we won't mind!

And knock first next time!

Petra...

You're always welcome.

Thanks, Emilien.

How did the test go?

I hear you butchered it...

News travels fast.

I have news for you.

There's a meeting

and you're the only one missing.

No one said.

You just need to press

that button there.

The one marked "power".

In my office, at the double!

Are you deaf?

Not anymore.

After raiding banks

in Holland, Italy and Belgium,

the Mercedes Gang is in France.

We won't let the Germans

invade our country again.

My grandad died in the trenches,

this is a personal matter.

Stuff the Franco-German

special relationship.

Okay?

Not you, Petra. You're German

but you're a cop so it's okay.

These guys name the city

before attacking.

It's too much!

They'll do Marseilles

within three days!

Full alert!

On call around the clock!

We have army back-up

with one driver per team.

Once the Germans leave the bank,

we tail them.

We'll stick to them,

acting like deadly venom.

This is Operation...

Cobra.

Petra, pick the teams, please.

3 per car. An army guy,

one of us and a sniper.

Each team has a code name

and a posting on the plan.

Team make-up is just next to it.

Be in position in 50 minutes!

Excuse me...

About that dinner I mentioned...

This week would suit me because...

That computer program I developed...

If we wait, we may lose the idea,

you see?

Not really.

What is it that can't wait?

Me.

No, the program, the computer...

It's not easy here.

That's why I thought...

about dinner...

Once the Germans are in jail,

I promise

I'll see to you... to your program!

It's a deal!

By the way, whose team are you on?

Cobra's.

You're lucky,

I've put you on the best team.

We're out of coffee...

Seen the wheel? Fancy, huh?

It's my own.

I bought if from Alain Prost.

There's special rally gears inside.

You can drive through sand dunes

no problem.

Too bad we're not at the beach.

No ciggies, they make my eyes water.

No coffee, no ciggies...

No chicks!

Boa to Grass Snake.

Boa to Grass Snake, over.

Grass Snake here.

How's your team?

Great. Real pals already.

- And you?

- We're getting peed on...

Hey, Rachid !

We're gonna do that black Peugeot.

Cut the crap, Marco,

not in broad daylight!

The hell we can!

The place is crawling with fuzz!

Come back to the hood

and lift a car we know.

It's okay, there's a summit,

the cops are at the airport.

No fuzz in 40 miles.

Fuck 'em, I say.

Are you nuts?

Fucking chill out!

They're at the airport.

I saw it on TV.

Clinton, his missus, the Commies...

Hey, fuzz!

Marco fucks you!

Front, back and sideways!

Let's book him!

No, let him take the crate,

we need the space.

I need to take a leak.

We can't leave the car.

Those are orders.

See? At the airport, like I said.

Smile, you're on candid camera.

If the Merc isn't here

in one minute,

I'm having a ciggie, coffee

and a leak.

You'll have to wait, pal.

Calling all snakes.

No venom till the mouse is out.

I repeat,

no venom until it's out.

Sir...

Not now, I'm into this...

But it's the Minister.

Aren't you at the airport, sir?

We just finished.

About that Mercedes gang of yours...

You've called at the right time.

We're about to arrest them.

Good but I was just speaking

- ...to my German counterpart

- Don't worry.

I'll be shipping

the Krauts home tomorrow

by special convoy !

Don't let this turn into

a Franco-German brawl.

The war's over.

I couldn't agree more, sir,

really I couldn't.

They'll be treated

like any other crooks.

In that case,

don't call them Krauts.

I said that?

Did I say "Krauts"?

A slip of the tongue, sir...

Can I count on you?

Yes. We handled the Gooks,

remember.

The Asians, I mean.

That all went smoothly.

Hardly any dead,

not on our side in any case.

He hung UP!

Easy as pie.

- Fuck, too many wires!

- Move it, Marco!

Need the key to that crate, asshole?

We're Grass Snake, right?

Grass makes you cool...

So we play it cool, no venom, huh?

Calling all snakes.

Get the maggots alive.

For an hour at least.

I'd better leave this to you guys.

I've really got to go...

What's going on?

A shoot-out, sir.

Don't move, sir.

Fuck...

We're being ambushed!

Send reinforcements!

I've identified the car.

I've identified the accomplice's car.

Four expert men inside.

They're on their way.

Oh, fuck...

They're cops, sir.

They're giving up?

Grass Snake, over...

We had a slight problem

with the door.

We'll have you out of here shortly.

No sweat, mister...

Thank you.

They give up.

Funny...

He kind of looks...

a bit like the Minister.

You haven't eaten...

It's good but I'm just not hungry.

Mom, that's enough!

Don't worry about your test.

Eight times is nothing.

Your father never passed.

What? I remember him driving.

He took the test 20 times

and in the end they gave him a license.

Thanks for the encouragement.

You're welcome.

Could you mend this

for the janitor's son?

I'm not Super Mario!

No, you're Super Cop!

Upholding the law

and protecting honest citizens!

You do wonderful work, sweetheart!

I'm proud of you.

So why say I work at IBM?

So all the neighbours bring

their parking tickets round?

So you work for IBM

and we get some peace.

And I repair the kids' toys!

Never happy“-

I'm just kidding...

Can you call me a cab?

I've found a great one.

Kind, friendly, a real angel.

You'll like him.

- Wrong floor?

- Who are you looking for?

Camille.

That's me...

This is the place.

You're her son who Works for Apple?

IBM.

That's all Greek to me.

She showed me your photo...

This is my boy, Emilien.

I've labelled them.

Monday, veal stew. Tuesday...

I'll manage!

Let's go,

I hate to leave my car alone.

Kissy, mom.

- Where to?

- Boulevard Voltaire.

I know Police HQ but not IBM.

I'm going to Police HQ.

I'm computerizing them.

I'll drop you a bit before,

I keep away from the fuzz.

It makes a fancy noise...

expert?

Amateur.

I got a V6 and pepped it up

to make it sing. A V6 loves to sing.

You can't sing too loud.

The limit's 30 here.

Those signs?

Aren't they for skateboards?

No, for all vehicles.

Maybe...

I'm doing 60.

Good car, good driver, no sweat.

I'm less of a danger than that jerk!

Look!

See that?

Yeah, I saw...

And speed-traps?

We know where they are.

The pigs don't like change.

They always feed at the same trough.

There's one just here...

See them?

What a load of jerks!

Photo!

They're just obeying orders.

They signed up!

No one made them!

Maybe they were made to.

No sane guy would!

Look, I see a lot of them

with the computers

and I had a false image of them.

They're worse than people say?

No, better in fact.

Not all cops are morons.

I bet some are drunkards,

crooks or idiots.

Sincerely, between you and me,

know anyone in his right mind

who'd be a copper?

And cab driver?

What?

Who'd be a cab driver?

Those slobs who never want to work.

Who yell if you don't have change

or forget the tip.

Always drinking

fit to burst a breathalyser.

Always moaning away...

And thick as thieves with the cops.

The king grasses!

If the guy's married to a janitor,

you're home free!

Is your wife a janitor?

That's something!

Okay, some drivers are rude

but they're not all like that.

So accept it's the same

on the force.

They're not all blind drunk,

beating up immigrants.

Some just do their job,

like you and me.

Maybe...

This isn't my real job.

You drive a cab for fun?

So what's your real job?

I'll show you.

Got a bag? I don't feel good.

Don't worry,

nothing comes up till we stop!

Shit...

Sorry, that never happened before.

My fares usually get out,

go somewhere and then...

I'm really sorry.

I'll tell you something.

It's not my real job either.

Full name?

Morales, Daniel.

Profession?

Speed maniac or just plain maniac?

Put what you like.

How fast were you going?

55 or so...

It just looked more

'cause it's a powerful motor.

- Hi, Hot Wheels!

- Hi...

Give me a break, okay?

That taxi just did it again.

120 mph.

He's slowing down.

See...

You weren't doing 55.

You were doing 120!

I know... It was the sun.

I couldn't see the speedometer.

I didn't see

I was going that fast.

I'd have slowed down otherwise.

55's too fast.

The limit's 30. For everyone!

Cars, skateboards, taxis,

everyone!

Satisfied? He's caught me,

done a good job,

he's happy...

Look, I drive to live.

Take my license and I'm dead.

So put me out of my misery

right now.

Let me make the most of this.

Usually, I screw up

so a lucky break's welcome...

My wrist hurts too much to knock.

Never mind... Knocking, I mean.

That dinner and the program

that couldn't wait...

They'll wait till I heal. Unless

you want dinner with a scarecrow.

I don't mind.

I mean... You're perfect, Petra.

It doesn't matter.

I mean...

It does matter. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for you.

For myself too.

But I don't mind.

There!

See, it's always like that.

If only I could catch

those damn Germans.

Can you finish me off?

It'll help.

Yeah, I'll have to.

Unless you have an idea?

- I won't do it again.

- An idea, I said, not a joke.

I mean a real idea.

For the public good.

Cleaning up dog shit?

Something for the public good

for me, see?

I mean, it's as if I was the public

and you did something for my good.

Is that clear?

You want dough?

You're so dumb!

Say what you want then.

Get to the point once and for all!

What do you want?

Heard of the Mercedes Gang?

The gangs I know are on scooters.

They raid banks. Yesterday was the 7th,

my chief's frantic.

- That's a bummer...

- For us, it is.

I'm gonna make you an offer.

You know cars and I need a driver.

That's good enough

to hire you as a trainee

and wipe your slate clean.

You want me to be a cop?

Cop or pedestrian, you choose.

Death or shame?

You said it.

Okay, these are the seven raids...

in order.

I'm more Ferrari than Mercedes.

This the Mercedes Gang.

I'll let you know if they change.

Red Mercs ? Jesus!

I know they're red.

See if there's anything we missed.

We went over them in detail

but maybe there's something.

- There sure is.

- What?

These guys are Germans.

Brilliant! Germans in a Mercedes!

Need a rest after that?

Over-inflated tyres, typically German.

They used 8-inch ones

and you can't get those in France.

They'll need to change them soon.

The exhaust's bent here,

but not here.

They must have changed it.

Only Kruger can do that in Marseilles.

And Kruger... is German.

Good job you don't know Mercs....

Where to then?

Let's start with Kruger.

See how good his memory is.

Waiting for the "Starsky and Hutch"

theme tune?

I'd take the fairy lights off

around here...

What now?

This is how policemen

spend 90% of their time.

Surveillance.

Familiarity with the terrain,

observation of movement,

analysis...

At closing time,

we'll make a call on Kruger.

What time does the garage close?

Never. He has insomnia.

Nothing but meat paste.

Too bad,

my morn makes ace sandwiches.

The ham and cheese one?

Half Italian, half Danish...

- Perfect!

- She made you one?

With the thin slices of cheese...

And the lettuce...

And the baby pickles...

Wild!

It's mine!

It's delicious. Congratulations.

- What's going on?

- Koreans.

They're ruining the trade.

They work around the clock.

He has to sleep. He's human.

Just watch this.

One taxi, one plate, one license...

And two drivers!

Try to tell one Korean from another.

Unbelievable...

I know a Korean nearby

but he's into cooking. Fancy that?

We wait till the garage closes.

We've got time.

He has insomnia, he never closes.

How do you know?

The bar owner told me.

Why didn't you say?

I don't think like a cop yet.

That's not the problem.

It's just plain common sense!

We're waiting

for an insomniac to go to bed!

Does that sound right to you?

If I drive that Merc

and know he's insomniac,

I'll come here at night,

it's more discreet.

You think he'll just turn up

with his fancy Merc?

Unbelievable!

Drivers spend their free time

in garages.

Why here?

To pick up the tyres

Kruger ordered for them.

It's a miracle!

I can't miss out on this.

If there's trouble, call channel 2

and give them the Merc's number.

- What's going on?

- After surveillance, action!

- I'll try the Korean trick.

- What?

The Korean trick.

What a jerk...

Where do the tyres go ?

- What are you doing here?

- Me, sleep.

Me, homeless, no house.

My country very cold.

No, please!

Not hurt me, I steal nothing!

Me, just sleep!

I'll find you a place to sleep.

And eat too, if you're lucky!

- That hurts!

- I'm doing my best, chief.

What's your name again?

Daniel, right...

I'm Emilien.

First names are better.

A bit better.

Now we're so close,

we'll say that all this...

the trash cans and so on,

never happened.

If you let go of my hand,

can I go home and rest?

I'm not insomniac or Korean.

Sure...

I waited all night.

I did it so as you'd want me.

You won't regret it.

Promises, promises...

Give me an idea, just to see.

Not bad!

A little bit more.

What's going on?

It's not Sunday, it's Monday!

You can't!

I held back all night!

While I played dominoes?

Call in sick.

Monday morning disease?

My boss'll love that.

I'm sure he's never heard of it!

It can happen to anyone.

You had dinner with your parents,

you overate and threw up all night.

How's that?

And a guy who works all week

and spends Sundays with his girl...

How's that?

I'm sorry, Lilly.

I had a really shitty day.

If you have dinner here with me,

I'll tell you everything.

Keep it light then.

No problem.

A quick dinner and a long night.

We'll save time

by having dinner in bed.

Make it good.

It's your last chance.

I'll be ace!

Another day outside the garage?

Surveillance is over.

Questioning starts.

Want to see

how an interrogation works?

- You're coming anyway!

- I can't help!

I'll stay here

in case there's trouble again.

I need you to translate

for the technical stuff.

Anyway,

he won't have time to trick me.

Good morning!

Which one of you is Mr Kruger?

The name's on the wrapper.

I have a few questions for you...

I'm out of ammo!

Who cares? They left an hour ago!

Open your eyes!

The place is empty!

They've gone.

Can I ask you something?

What?

Does it always happen like that

or was that one for me?

No, usually I get to ask

one question.

Let's get some air.

It'll do us good.

You saved my life.

You get a reprieve.

Forget the month's training.

I'll bring it down to one week.

Very big of YOU-H

I have to catch them.

Because of the blonde?

Partly,

but mainly for myself, see?

I'm sick of ending up in trash cans.

I'll pull this off!

It's a matter of honour.

It's dumb but I have to!

- Can I have the evening off?

- Of course...

Have you finished with him?

The doctor's doing me

a prescription.

He stops at 5 and it's five to now.

My heart pills, you know.

Don't worry, I'll have saved

the whole family today!

You're so kind...

I know...

There they are, Johnny!

No sweat, there's a bug

in this round.

They Won't gel' away.

You're so smart...

It's m y job, baby-

Bull's-eye! You're great.

Now, we follow...

Brilliant!

I'll never forget this.

Just doing m y job, baby.

We've just had a call, gentlemen.

They're fixing appointments now!

They'll be doing

the Marseilles Bank next.

I'll be as precise as they are.

I won't tolerate any incidents

or misunderstandings.

Perfect co-ordination.

Two watchwords for the mission:

Serenity...

and efficacy.

I've decided to call this operation

"Operation...

"Zen".

Chief!

Forget the snakes,

I've had a brainwave!

We'll have them by tonight or

I'm not Emilien Coutan-Kermadec.

I hope this works.

It's your last round.

You've got the round.

Over to you.

Make sure you don't miss.

Get down!

Get down! Hands on your heads!

It works.

That's good... Very good.

Follow at a distance.

So you're not so scared.

They've stopped. Rue Gauguin.

We've got them!

Gibert here...

Block all roads

within 6 miles of Rue Gauguin.

They haven't moved.

We're almost there...

What's wrong?

I don't know. It's vanished.

I can see it's vanished.

I want to know why!

It must be around here.

You can't miss a red Merc.

We're warm, I know we are...

They should be here.

Don't shoot, I'm the hostage!

Hold on, I don't get this...

A vanishing red Merc.

Even Copperfield can't do that.

ID, please.

A problem, officer?

- Are you German?

- Yes... Why?

Is this the border already?

4 Germans in a Mere,

not a red one...

I'll take it!

German, are we?

Yes. Is that a problem?

Not at all, you interest me!

Open the trunk.

Why're they here?

They've come to spend marks

but can go elsewhere.

Certainly not!

Keep it in the country!

Auf Wiedersehen

and enjoy your trip.

I don't get it,

I must have missed something.

He forgot the kettle.

It happens a lot.

You think so?

That's not like him...

It's eight o'clock.

The answering machine's on,

the alarm's set for six.

We've got ten hours. Will that do?

A bit short for what I have in mind

but we'll hurry.

Expecting someone?

My lover

but I cancelled him for you.

Who the hell is it?

Let them ring. They'll soon go...

Where were we?

I was kissing you.

No, you were kissing me.

- It might be important...

- What?

I don't know... The cops or...

You're a major crook

and they're here to arrest you!

You could take me hostage.

Why not just take me?

Open up! Police!

You haven't killed anyone?

Thank God, you're here!

Brilliant!

- I'm up shit creek...

- I can imagine.

No, you've no idea.

The apartment's gone,

that lovely apartment dad left us!

Up in smoke, like dad.

My husband smoked and died

of liver cancer although he never drank.

The apartment doesn't matter.

I fouled up again.

I've got till the end of the week

or I'm back on traffic duty!

Stick, whistle, the works!

Monday, I'm a dead man.

- Who's this dwarf?

- A pal.

You go for muppets?

- It's complicated, he's a cop...

- What?

- A pal who's a cop?

- Well, no, I work for him...

- You work for the cops?

- No!

I work for him. He's not a real cop.

Look at him, he looks more like

a secret agent or something.

And she's Mata Hari?

Can someone explain to her?

I can't!

My name's Camille, hello.

The muppet there is my son, Emilien.

If you show me the kitchen,

I'll make great coffee and explain.

There's nothing to explain.

I'm finished!

I started out okay...

But with the trash cans...

the butcher's shops...

You shelter the homeless?

Want me to call the real cops?

Don't make things any Worse.

I'm not...

I'd just like to finish

what we started.

It's a tight schedule,

let's not waste time.

I got caught speeding

and I mean speeding.

He could revoke my license

for 100 years.

I'm helping him out to get it back.

100 years on the dole...

Cop, blackmailer, muppet...

Some mothers do have them!

Here, it was a stupid idea.

You're free.

Seriously.

Here, you're free.

I didn't come here

because of our deal.

I've got no other friends.

Morn said...

"Daniel's kind-hearted, he'll help us out."

I think we were wrong

but that's okay.

It's our problem anyway.

Don't worry,

I'll arrest the gang alone.

On foot, it won't be easy.

But I'll manage.

We can get rid of him

by helping him out.

He needs a lot more than help!

He's a psychopath!

He reminds me

of The Silence of the Lambs!

Take Mata Hari, I'll take the muppet

and I'll be back in 2 hours.

You want me to play bingo

with the old bag?

Two hours or I'll set fire to her!

It's a deal!

Come on.

- Where to?

- To see to you...

I'm sorry we spoiled your evening.

Is your coffee really good?

The best in town!

To ease the atmosphere

and apologize.

You don't want to talk to me

but listen anyway.

- Okay?

- Will one minute do?

I've been thinking all night

and there's one thing I don't get.

Why do they taunt us like this?

Why red

when grey is more discreet?

To draw our attention.

We look this way...

while they go that way.

A "diversion".

They left the bank empty-handed

and got the money out another way.

Or it's still in the bank.

One minute. Time's up.

I'll be back later.

Ten grand.

That'll keep you going for a while.

My wife?

You really want her?

I'm kind of used to her...

Calm down, sweetheart...

Everything will be okay now.

One more

and we retire.

For our final job,

we'll go outwith a bang!

Pain in the ass.

Will it help if I tell you

how they changed cars?

Maybe... So tell me.

They didn't,

they changed the colour.

A red Merc drives

into a car-park or whatever

and a discreet, grey Merc

comes back out and vanishes.

- Can that be done?

- Easy as pie.

If they resprayed it,

there'd be paint somewhere.

Not if they resprayed it

inside a truck.

They'd need tons of paint each time!

They'd work in record time,

less than 10 minutes.

Can paint dry in that time?

Gégé? Sorry I woke you,

it's Daniel.

I need some

of your MD10 magic paint.

Colour... scarlet.

You're out of stock?

Who bought that much scarlet

in one go?

The Etangs track?

Are they repainting

the whole track red or what?

Okay, I'll work something out

with them.

I'll call you. See you.

What's MD10 paint?

Dry in 10 minutes.

What d'you think?

Is that them?

No, they're the Marseilles

Butcher's League!

What's the next move?

- What's going on?

- We'll say hello.

- They'll spot us!

- They won't forget us.

They'll recognize me!

They saw me in their trunk!

- Put this on!

- You jerk!

How's this?

Perfect.

You fairies think you're Schumacher?

Doing a little lap or two?

Who made those karts?

Mercedes?

They do cars now?

Want to play hare, Hermann?

I'll show you how.

Give me 500.

I'd better get out.

I'll show you,

I bet they'll go for it.

Here's how we play hare.

500 francs for the guy

who beats me over two laps.

- You can count?

- We don't need money.

I don't want to take more than 500.

A tourist who doesn't get scammed

isn't a tourist.

Listen...

Use the rear-view on the second lap

to see if I'm there.

No sense in doing a lap for nothing.

Thanks, girls.

Piss off!

Fast!

This is fun

but I have to get to a garage.

The car's real slow today...

Any time you want a replay...

Here, 500!

- What do we do now?

- Go for a drink.

Frogs!

Are you nuts?

We had them and you show off.

We could have called the guys

and booked them.

What for?

Speeding on a track?

We can always find evidence after.

Hold on, didn't you tell me

we had to catch them red-handed?

Maybe but we're getting nowhere.

If this goes on,

we'll end up inside.

You'll get what you want.

They're white hot now.

Drivers are real gamblers.

We can set the trap now.

- What sort of trap?

- A booby trap!

How does your booboo trap work?

A booby trap, not a booboo trap!

So how does it work?

We wrap them round our finger

and get them where we want them.

In other words, here.

I'll need 20 traffic light keys

and 20 radios.

Okay for the radios.

But the guys keep the keys on them.

Except when they shower.

Brilliant!

Over to you, Jimmy.

I'm freezing.

Just a second.

Heard this one...

You're in the raw?

I'm not in the raw,

I've got a towel on.

And what if I was?

I can strip down in my office.

This is my office?

Didn't anyone ever teach you

to knock?

Your mom only taught you to be dumb?

What a welcome!

I had a great joke for you.

Your jokes are never funny!

Get out!

I enjoyed that.

Come in!

Am I in the way?

Never!

I can tell I am.

I'll call by later.

See? She comes in for once,

with something to tell me

and I'm in the raw in here.

Can you believe it?

What can I say? In any case,

she's too good for me.

She's already Chief Inspector...

What could she see in me?

Have you finished your moaning?

You're digging your grave

with your teeth!

That chick's no charity worker.

She isn't diesel-powered.

She needs a man!

Stand up, you look more

like a monkey than a man!

Stand up straight!

There!

Now, go and see her,

fling her back and snog her!

It'll be a slap

or ten years together after that!

It's fifty-fifty.

If not, you know right away.

Like those lottery scratch cards.

Are you okay?

You're right, I need to know.

One scratch and I'm home free!

Fifty-fifty...

He'll wait for the draw now.

How's it going?

Finished.

Will they be mad?

If a chick turns up 17 hours late,

what do you do?

- I kill her.

- That answers your question.

We brought flowers though.

- Pretty flowers!

- Can you smoke them?

You made those cakes?

Since neither of us make love anymore,

we made cakes.

What a riot!

I've had a great day with you.

You'll call me?

I promise.

Are these for me? Thanks.

See you.

Fancy an evening together?

Look after your guests. Next time.

A few years won't change much.

I put Camille in your bed,

she has a bad back.

Good night, boys!

This stuffs good...

You bet, it's Jamaican.

One of the perks...

You're tempting me!

Why not drive a racing car

instead of a cab?

My dad's in a wheelchair

since a crash.

Try telling him you want to race.

Yeah, not easy...

And you?

What went wrong?

My story's a good one too.

I was 17 when dad died.

Morn and I were penniless.

I had to find a job.

The force takes anyone

who can count to ten.

Where did you live?

Asniéres.

Jules Ferry?

Yes, why?

You too?

Honestly...

Crazy!

We could've been in the same class!

I'd have taught you to steal

and you'd have turned out okay.

That's life.

Kids have all kinds of dreams...

that never work out.

You want to be centre forward

and end up in goal.

Think the plan'll work?

Like clockwork.

Are you sure?

Come in!

Am I disturbing you?

It's okay. What's up?

Full alert!

We've launched the Cougar Plan.

The SDLM Bank this time.

Here are your positions.

Arthur, street-corner n° 1...

Jacky, street-corner n° 2...

N° 2 Manu: radio and key...

N°3 Vincent: radio and key...

- I know... Back in an hour.

- Right.

I'll be at your place.

Cougar here...

The bird is in the cage.

On your knees!

Cougar here. The bird's coming out.

Prepare to pounce.

They've got hostages!

Don't do anything yet!

Sorry, no room for you.

I can wait...

You can run alongside.

It'll do you good.

I haven't warmed up...

Calling all cougars! Pounce!

Catch the bird!

See, don't follow the Mercedes...

Follow the truck instead.

Let's drink to a job well done!

Now, home everyone.

Here we go...

Everything ready?

20 points covered.

If they cross one line,

they're finished.

Boulevard Michelet to Place Mazard...

Who's on that corner?

- Jean-Bat, n° 7.

- Call him.

He'll open the dance.

No 7.--

Jean-Bat, d'you receive me?

Go ahead.

You're the first.

I'm in position.

Our turn now.

You can't get through!

I can...

Hi, Gretchen...

Still got that tractor?

Sorry I was so slow last time,

I left the handbrake on.

I'm talking to you!

Want to try again or stay pathetic?

Okay, okay...

You French are always bragging...

- Come onto the freeway...

- You're mad now...

- I'll wipe your Peugeot out.

- I'm sorry...

I'll give you a chance

but I won't wager a lot.

I hate making such easy money.

Here, ten francs.

You'll pay for that!

Who'll pay who?

You're going too far...

No way.

Tell 7, 8 and 9 to switch to red.

Switch to red.

N° 10, in position.

N” 77, in posit/on.

Okay, 12 and 13, get ready...

N° 13 in position

but I have a problem...

Two cops at the light.

Oh, fuck!

Get rid of them!

Easier said than done!

We're at 11. Do something!

Put them on!

Excuse me, a call for you...

Crime Squad here. There's a bomb

just next to you.

- Where?

- In the light!

Don't panic. We can stop it.

Listen carefully. Use the key

to switch the light to red.

It's already red!

I don't give a damn!

Put the key in the box

and turn to the right! Got that?

We just passed 12.

Get a move on...

May I?

19 and 20, get ready.

You know 20's the last?

I know.

- What's this?

- A short-cut!

We'll wipe him out on the freeway,

we've got more power.

Maybe that barrier meant something.

The road's not finished.

As long as you know...

I may look calm

but I'm a nervous wreck...

Almost over...

Exactly, I want to live.

Ten seconds.

Crush that rat!

Stop! No more bridge!

5 seconds.

Go on, crush him!

Let them win!

You bet 10 francs!

- We can't die for 10 francs!

- Now or never... Hold on!

Well done, Karl. We've won.

Are you sure?

You gave me a real fright...

I thought you wanted to die.

Read "The Tortoise and the Hare".

The tortoise wins.

Hey, Einstein!

Heard of Aesop?

Big hare angry

little tortoise fucked him over!

Cougar's going to be pleased.

He loves a bit of jugged hare.

Sorry about this place.

It's not romantic...

- But I wanted you.

- You did?

I can't say I noticed.

Action replay?

Later.

We've really got to go.

I've been looking everywhere

for you!

- What were you doing?

- Developing photos.

Photos? You have to do that now?

The Commissioner's waiting!

The French President

awards you the medal

of Knight of the Order of Merit.

Congratulations.

I owe you an apology.

For not believing me

or for slapping my face?

Both...

How can I ever apologize?

We'll work something out.

I read about your exploits.

Astounding!

You've given us

a lot to think about.

We're going to change our approach

to traffic completely.

More efficient and modern,

thanks to you.

The medal is just a symbol,

it won't get you your license back.

I expected a bit more...

- Leniency?

- Right!

We are lenient. We could lock you up

for years but you're free.

I'm not free, I'm on foot!

I understand. Without a car,

you're an orphan?

Right, an orphan on foot.

I understand.

There is one solution

but it may not suit you.

Try me, we'll soon see.

Okay? Happy?

- You're not happy?

- I'm fine...

I don't get it.

Grand Prix, first line, great car...

Your pals. What more do you want?

Another sponsor!

We give him money, a car

and he's still not happy...

Tell the pom-pom girls to cut it out.

They ruin my concentration.

You know what would make me happy?

What?

Just win the race,

forget the shit on the car.

Get the champagne out of the fridge,

it's no good too cold.

Subtitles: Ian Burley

Subtitling: C.M.C.