Tammy's Always Dying (2019) - full transcript

Shit.

Ah, ah.

Fuck.

Ma!

Oh!

I know, Ma.

I don't know what I'm doin'.

Well, why don't you come down?

It's freezin'.

Are you sure you want me to come
down?

I'm sure.



Really?

Really, come on.

Ma, come on, okay?

- Oh Jesus Christ, Ma.
- Oh yeah.

Oh god.

Maybe bacon and eggs

- will do me...
- Ma, I'm so tired.

Well, a big, greasy
breakfast and a nice nap,

- that'll help.
- No, I don't want

to go to the fuckin' diner now.

I've been up all night.

Lookin' for me.

What?

No, why would I look for you?



You're always in the same spot.

Yeah, guess I am.

I guess I just thought if
anybody

in the world would be lookin'
for me,

it'd be you, you know.

I'll treat ya.

- With whose money?
- I'll pay ya back

when I get my check.

Huh?

I don't want fuckin' eggs.

I wanna sleep.

Jesus, crabby.

Lord love a duck, this
car is a piece of shit.

Bacon and toast

and two eggs, easy over.

I mean, easy over, just like.

You know what I'm saying?

They just kiss
the, kiss the, you know...

The same as always, Doreen.
Frying pan.

Same thing.
Yeah, thank you,

and toast on the side.

Ah, I'm good, thank you.

You know.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

I hope they don't fuck up my
eggs, yeah?

How hard is it to cook a fuckin'
egg?

She knows I like it easy over,

and they always come
cooked straight through,

and then they look at
you like you're the one

with the fuckin' problem.

Oh yeah, I am.

I'm talkin' shit about you,
Doreen.

What a bitch.

She's mean-spirited since high
school,

always with that mean fuckin'
mouth.

Didn't her son get you pregnant?

- Jesus Christ.
- I thought he did.

For fuck's sake, Ma.

What's his name, Greg?

Greg?

Reggie, it was Reggie.

And we don't even get a free
coffee.

- Stop.
- I'm just sayin'.

You pay for an abortion,

the least you should get is a
free coffee.

You don't pay for an abortion.

No, but you gotta pay for the
taxi,

and then you got to pay

for the time off work and all
that.

I'm just sayin', you know.

You pay for an abortion,

the least you should get is a
free coffee.

You're so fuckin' embarrassing.

Oh, I'm embarrassing?

Sorry my manic fuckin'
depression is so

embarrassing to you.

Don't, don't diagnose yourself.

I'm not.

I saw it on one of them shows,

one of them shows with doctors
on 'em.

Jesus!

- Ma?
- Yeah?

You're depressed, 'cause
you drink all the time.

No, I drink all the time,
'cause I'm depressed.

Look, I'll calm down for a bit.

- Right.
- I will, I swear.

For fuck's sake.

So your relationship
with your father was abusive?

You know, it didn't feel
that way at the time,

because it wasn't physical.

It was emotional.

So I normalized his behavior.

I thought every family was like
this.

And now that he's dead,
my life is finally mine.

Thank you, Linda.

You're so brave for showing up.

I know.

They never come back.

Relax, Mike, take a
break, have a sandwich.

I don't want no fuckin'
sandwich.

I want you to come and visit.

Eat your sandwich.

You can have your beer back
when you down your sandwich.

Dougie, I'm, I'm so sorry.

I took a nap and slept
clear through my alarm.

That's okay.

I'm right upstairs.

No, honestly.

How is she?

Doug, it's the end of the month.

You know how she is.

Okay.

- Fresh pot.
- Mm.

Okay, so, him, he's in timeout.

He's on a different planet
today.

Look at him.

Always is.

Alright.

Hey, button, Sunday night, you
and me?

Yeah, Sunday.

Hey, can I get
a vodka cranberry, hun?

Yeah, sure thing.

Hey, good night, Dougie.

You've been...

I know two nights ago, you
were on stage with Don Rickles.

I was on stage with
my darling Don Rickles.

Love Don, I love him.

I adore him.

I watched that man at 86.

He's a masterclass at comedy.

You just stand there and you go

that's how you tell a joke.

- Icon.
- True icon.

Next up for everybody is
the Look...

Now, gorgeous case,

it's not about the case.

Look at the case.

Amazing, that wonderful animal
print case, I mean, gorgeous,

but look what is in the case,

'cause nobody buys a
sunglass case for a case.

All the great looks that
people like Jackie O.

We did them in two colors.

We did them in the black.

The lenses on the tortoise
are in a brown family going,

they're all on braid, and in the
black,

they're more of a dark gray,
going down.

You wore these on the
plane.

I wear these with other
stuff.

I love these.

I love them because they're
kind of rounded, a little.

Yes.

Which is very good.

They are beautifully done.

They are lightweight but very
sturdy.

They're not that horrible, cheap
glass

that you get at the drugstore

that twists off and breaks in a
second.

And UVA, UVB, UVC, UVD,

whatever it is, yes, the lens
is totally treated for that.

And, yeah, full protection,
full protection.

Uh-uh-uh.

Everything I do,
because I'm gonna wear it,

and it sounds very selfish,
I want the best quality

for me and for you.

This is not a secondary line of
mine.

This is not like a better thing
going on at Neiman Marcus.

This is it for me.

Gorgeous case, it's not about
the case.

Look at the case, let's start
with that.

Amazing, that wonderful animal
print case,

I mean, gorgeous, but look...

You smell like a bathhouse.

You smell like a brewery.

You buy it for
what's in it, but take...

Oh, oh yeah,
babe.

- Yeah.
- Oh my god.

God, that feels so fucking good.

Yeah, fuck me, Reggie.

Yeah, baby.
Just like that.

Yeah, look.

Fuckin' go now, baby,
go.

There are nets up there, Reggie.

She knows there are fuckin' nets
up there.

Yeah.

Yeah, but she could still die,
though.

She could hit her head on the
ledge,

tangle the nets, bleed out,

get found the next day, I mean...

Found by who?

City worker, probably.

You think that's a job,

and there's like a
suicide net checker guy?

Yeah, probably.

That's a shitty fuckin' job.

Yeah, that or she could
just get paralyzed.

All right, I got to go.

Okay.

You got to jiggle it.

- What?
- Jiggle it.

Lift the handle sideways.

- What do you mean jiggle it?
- You just fuckin' jiggle it.

Jiggle the fucking handle!

Okay, all right, you know what,
fuck this.

- Fuck it.
- Oh my god.

Excuse me, sorry, ah.

- Fuckin', really, Reggie?
- You want to just help?

Can you get out of the way?

Oh, here we go.

For fuck's sake.

Jesus.

Your car's a piece of
shit.

Well, I'm gettin' a new one.

Yeah, sure.

Okay, well, I'll call ya.

Sure, call me.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

No hat.

Tacky.

Classes up the whole ensemble.

So tonight,

I am Gustav.

Ooh.

And you?

Um, Ingrid.

Ingrid?

I love it.

Tell me about Ingrid.

Okay, so Ingrid, well,
she was in an orchestra.

- Here?
- No, god, no,

somewhere in Europe, and she had
an affair

with the conductor or something.

- As one does.
- Mm-hmm.

But now she's retired,
and she lives in Bali

or Ibiza or somewhere like that.

Hmm, well, Gustav is, um,

- a baron.
- Ooh.

Madame and Monsieur,

what can I get you?

Oh, French.

I'm learning French.

It's going very badly,
but a man can dream.

Oh, I think you're fabulous.

Thank you.

So she is an orchestra.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.

And I am royalty.

Of course.

And we would like two gin
martinis

- ...with a twist.
- With a twist.

Already started.

Una momento, por favor.

I realize that's not French.

He's nice.

Mm, for me or for you?

Please.

So let's get into character,
shall we?

Ay, voila, two martinis.

The fuck is wrong

with you?

Fuck off, fuck off!

Fuck you, too!

Hey.

Oh yeah.

Today, we welcome
back to the show Linda Black,

whose story of her father's
death has captured the

attention of our
audience since day one.

Welcome, Linda.

So tell us about your book.

The book is called
"I Survived."

It's half biographical

and half what I like to
call identifi-courage.

So first, you have to
identify what is toxic

about your relationship.

And second, you must find
the courage to leave.

Linda Black, everyone,

transforming her pain
into this wonderful book

with the help of the Gordon
Baker Show.

And if everyone looks under
their seat,

they're gonna find one.

You get a book!

You get a book!

You get a book!

Hey!

Goddam!

Fuckin' Deadsville in here.

Hi, fellas.

Let's get some tunes goin'
in this funeral parlor.

Okay, uh...

No, no!

Baby, no!

Yeah!

Okay, oh!

Yeah, oh!

Oh, yeah!

Oh my god, I love this song.

I got everybody a present.

Beautiful, for you.

Okay, one moment.

Look what I got for you.

It's the color of your eyes.

Oh great, you're way too smart.

And my Dougie,

look what I got you.

Come here!

Okay, okay, okay!

Yeah !

Fuck.

Ma!

Jesus, come down!

I can't.

I can't!

You cannot help me!

You don't fucking help me!

Nobody fucking helps me.

It's not fair.

It's not fucking fair!

It's never enough.

It's never fucking enough!

Hey, can I,

Cathy, can, oh!

Ma!

- For fuck's sake!
- So what now?

Now that the nets work,

what, what, are you gonna stick
your head

in the oven, at the end of every
month?

I don't got a gas oven.

Don't be stupid.

I'm stupid?

Yeah, just set it to a cool 375

and bake my skull like a
Thanksgiving turkey, stupid.

There's a million ways to die,
honey.

Took you a minute, though.

What are you talkin' about?

All I'm sayin' is it
just took you a minute.

Where are you goin'?

To the bathroom.

Don't look at me like that.

When I actually fuckin' go
somewhere,

trust me, you'll know!

Jesus.

Micky!

Micky, Jesus, hey!

I'm talkin' to you.

Here.

Stop it.

Reggie, Reggie, take
your kid, for fuck sakes.

What are you lookin' at, girlie?

Nothing, I'm just shopping.

Yikes.

Why are you here?

Ma, what are you doing?

Uh ,

I gotta talk to you.

It's my one day off.

Yeah, it can't wait, Cathy.

Jesus Christ, one day,

one day to myself, please.

I'm dyin'.

Wait, what?

What, what is this?

Just what I said,

I, I'm dying.

I hate this.

Well, you shoulda thought of
that

before you smoked for 40 years.

You smoke.

Don't be a fuckin' hypocrite.

Tammy MacDonald?

Nice to meet you.

I'm Dr. Miller, your oncologist.

I don't like her.

- Ma.
- Too pretty.

I don't want a pretty doctor.

I'm so sorry.

It's no offense, lady.

I just want to fall apart in
front

of somebody a little less
together.

Well, I'm gonna be frank with
you, Tammy.

You don't have time to shop
around.

Well, that's a harsh
thing

to say to a dying woman.

The cancer is stage
IV.

Hmm.

It's spread to your liver.

Best case scenario, you
have six to ten months,

and the only way to live
that long is with treatment.

What does she have to do?

We should begin chemotherapy
as soon as possible.

The sooner you start, the
more time you'll have.

But ultimately, it's your
decision.

No.

Can we have a little bit
of time to think this over?

Of course.

I do strongly suggest

that you make these decisions
soon, tough.

We will.

Okay.

Let me know
what you decide, okay.

Let me know what you decide.

I don't want no chemo.

I don't know, Ma.

Maybe we should just listen to
the doctor.

Oh, I was listening.

You're the one that wasn't
listenin'.

I need a drink.

Oh , yeah.

Fuck yeah .

Hey.

Hey, Pascal.

Can I get a shot, huh, vodka,
lime?

Sure.

I saw your ma over at Scully's

with some asshole, getting
ripped.

Oh, really?

It's okay.

My ma was a wreck, too,

and I'm just fuckin' fine.

Okay, um, Victoria.

She is a ballet dancer.

What, you want to be a ballerina
again?

Well, you can be someone
you've been before.

There's no rules about that,
right?

No, no, I want someone new.

I'll think of something new.

I'll just get you guys some
drinks, yeah?

No, you know what?

Maybe we should just hold off a
bit, okay?

Yeah.

We should just go home, button.

No, I don't, I don't want to go
home.

We're gonna have to
talk about this at some point.

She wants to die.

Let her die.

Jesus, Cathy, I...

No, I don't want to
talk about it, not here.

I just wanna play the game,
okay?

Okay.

What the fuck?

You have a hole in your wall.

Yeah.

It's the size of a head.

It's the size of my head.

Oh Jesus, Tammy.

So this is it?

This is your life?

You, you just drink rye

and fuck the trash you bring
home?

We're all trash.

Well, at least some of us have a
sense

of fuckin' decency about it.

Oh .

We got to talk about your
treatment.

- No.
- Tammy!

I'm scared to be sick.

You've always been sick.

This time, you're just
sick with cancer .

What about Cathy?

You have a responsibility to
her.

You never take that seriously.

- I do.
- No, you don't.

Well, it's no help you being
around.

And you make it so fuckin' hard.

- Me?
- Yeah.

I can't compete with you.

You, you come in here with
your suits and your hotels,

and you make it look like I,
you know, I don't even try.

'Cause you don't.

I could.

If you'd just give me some
time with her, I could.

You want time with her?

Okay.

Oh, I'll give you time with her.

But you got to listen to the
doctor.

And you have to promise to
be good to your daughter.

Yeah, I'll do my best.

No, more than that.

You have to go out a better
woman.

Now have some tea.

It's real.

It's the real thing, Cathy.

- Mm-hmm.
- She needs you.

Right.

Fuck.

I'm gonna make you pee in
your little uniform .

She told me you moved in with
her.

Yeah, we don't have a lot of
money,

so we figured we'd pool our
resources,

well, my resources.

She doesn't have any resources.

So it's like a, a puddle,

a puddle of my resources.

There is government assistance.

I make too much money to get any
help

and too little to pay for any,
so...

Government-subsidized home care.

I don't see her playing
too well with others.

She's too proud.

Grief counseling.

Took enough convincing to get
her here.

I really don't think
that therapy's an option.

I didn't mean for her.

Oh.

I'm good, thanks.

You're having a party.

I fuckin' see you,

in my fuckin' shed when
my fuckin' kids are home.

What kind of woman are you, hmm?

The only difference between you
and me is

that I fuckin' kept mine, and
you didn't,

so don't think for one second

that it couldn't be the other
way around.

Okay.

Thanks.

He's not your fuckin'
prince.

Like a fuckin' funeral.

Oh, hot, that's fuckin' hot.

Oh, it's fuckin' fine.
Mm-mm.

Don't be a baby, come here.

Well, don't treat me like one.

I can take a bath by myself, you
know?

Well...

Okay?

Fine.

Jesus Christ, Mom.

Alright.

You made your fuckin' point.

Okay, down, down, down.

Ah!

- Okay?
- Okay.

Alright.

Oh.

Okay.

You just gonna watch me, eh?

Just perv out over there on the
can?

Do you think that I want to be
here?

No, no, I do not.

Get off the can in case I gotta
puke.

Thank you.

Ah.

Hey, "The Nutcracker" is on
at the community center soon.

What?

"The Nutcracker," I thought,

I thought we could go, like the
two of us.

I don't want to go to
"The Nutcracker," Ma.

You sure?

You used to love to go and laugh

at all the little fat kids.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, yeah.

We'd have a couple drinks,

and we'd go and laugh at the fat
kids.

That wasn't me.

Sure?

Yeah, Ma, I'm sure.

I was in "The Nutcracker"
when I was little.

I was in it.

Oh.

Were you fat?

Yeah.

Oh , shit.

Yeah, shit.

It wasn't nothin' towards you.

It wasn't.

I, I'm sure you were great.

I'm sure I was so proud of you.

Dougie'll take you.

He loves the ballet.

Hm, you like him more than me.

No, I don't.

Yeah, you do.

Well, he's, he's fun.

He's fun?

I'm fun.

I taught that guy how to be fun.

Right.

I did.

He used to just be this sad,

- black, gay kid with asthma.
- I get it, Ma.

I get it.

So you don't wanna go?

No.

Do you possess
identifi-courage?

Are you a survivor of a
traumatic relationship?

Has an abusive loved one
recently passed away?

Contact our producer Ilana
Weisman today

and share your story
with our live audience.

"The Gordon Baker Show"

where your tragedy has value.

Ma?

Ma?

Ma.

Ma!

What the fuck, Cathy?

What are you doing on the floor?

It was fucking hot.

I thought you were, I thought
you were,

I thought you were...

What, dead?

Jesus, well, don't look so
fuckin' excited about it.

Borrowed your underwear.

We need to cut your hair.

No, I like my hair.

I like it long.

Ma, it looks kinda...

- What?
- Nothing.

Never mind.

I'm not gonna fight with you.

Remember when you played
the flute?

- What?
- The flute,

the fuckin' flute?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- I remember.
- Yeah, you were awful.

Yeah, well, it didn't last long.

No, it did not.

'Cause I was bad at it.

Yeah, and you quit,
'cause you're a quitter.

Yeah.

I never met a person so fast to
run away.

There's no fight to ya.

Fuck you.

What?

I'm here, aren't I?

I'm fucking here.

I,

I'm sorry.

I'm tryin' here, Cathy.

I really am.

I know.

Hey, I'm trying, too.

Here's your candy.

Okay.

No.

Hmm?

You guys going?

Alright, I'll see you
tomorrow.

- Have a good day.
- Yeah, I'll be back.

Bye, get home safe,

- alright?
- Yeah, see you, hun.

See you, sweetheart.

Button, how are you?

How's, how's your mom?

Oh, uh, she's, she's fine,

just hard and fine, but I was
thinkin',

Sunday, you and me?

No, I don't think so.

What?

Why don't you do something
with your ma, something nice?

I don't want to.

I want to go to the hotel.

Oh Catherine, you're a little
old

to pretend to be a ballerina,

every time shit gets hard.

But you're the one who
taught me how to do that.

Yeah, I know.

Let me take over, huh?

I was just gonna go upstairs
and watch TV, anyway.

You can have the rest of the
night off.

No, it's okay.

- Cathy, I...
- It's fine.

I would rather be here.

She told me she know me.

She don't know me.

She comin' up in here and
talkin' all kinds of bullshit,

talkin' about she know me.

She don't know me.

I don't know her.

Motherfucker.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Okay.

Okay.

Excuse me, little one.

Someone is out there fuckin' up
your ride.

What?

Oh what the fuck are you...

Oh my god!

Fuck you, skank!

My fucking car.

Hey!

What the hell, Cathy?

My kids are sleeping.

Look at this.

What?

What?

This!

Who did that?

Oh my god, take a fucking guess,
Reggie.

Oh shit.

Are you laughing?

Don't you fucking laugh.

Don't you fucking dare laugh.

What do you want me to do about
it?

I want you to call off your
fucking dog.

Hey, now that is the mother

of my children you're talkin'
about.

Well, then she should be writing
skank

on the side of your fuckin'
vehicle.

Weren't you gonna get a new car?

That's not the fucking point.

Then who gives a shit what's
written

on a pile of garbage?

Fuck you, Reggie.

Fuck me?

Fuck you, Cathy!

You're the one that calls me.

You're the one that pulls me
into the shed

when my wife and children are at
home.

Don't you dare.

Don't you dare put this all on
me.

Do you like me?

What does that have to do with
anything?

Do you think she likes me?

I don't know.

You want me to leave her?

No , god, no.

Then take your lumps.

She does.

You're a piece of shit, Reggie.

Yeah.

That's the only reason you like
me.

What am I supposed to
do about my fucking car?

Don't know, not my problem.

- Get a paint job.
- Nice.

Oh fuck off.

Paint job.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Fuck.

Shit!

I broke the wall.

Oh fuckin' hell, Ma.

I, I fixed it, and then I
broke it,

and that is always the way.

Yeah, it is.

Alright, okay, help me out
here.

Ah, ow!

Oh!

Oh god.

- Oh!
- Alright.

I, uh...

I know, Ma.

Oh, I did somethin'.

Yeah, I fuckin' know.

You don't.

- Let's get you to bed.
- Okay.

I need you to tell me I'm a good
person.

You're a good person.

Okay.

Oh my god, Mom.

You look like him.

Who?

Oh.

One of 'em.

Oh god, I need,

I need to...

Now jump.

Come on, get dressed
for your fuckin' chemo.

Cathy.

What?

I mean, I don't know what to
say.

Your mother could be around a
bit longer

than we anticipated.

Now this isn't to say the cancer
is gone.

But she's responding
really well to the chemo.

Isn't this the most fun you've
ever had

with your clothes on ?

It is, isn't it?

Oh my god, my poor daughter.

You should come and visit.

Oh.

Christ, that shit makes me so
nauseated.

How fucking dare you.

What'd I do now?

At the bar, at the hospital,

pretending to be a good fucking
person.

I'm not a good person.

I'm a good time.

I coulda left.

Oh, really?

And done what, been a fat
ballerina,

played the fucking flute?

What, what would you have done?

Stop.

- I could've...
- You could have, huh?

Nothin', no, nothin', takin'
care

of me is the only thing
you've ever been good at.

I mean, name one thing, one
thing you ever been good at.

We exist on a planet filled with
people,

and some of 'em are nothin'.

We are those people, you know.

We are nothing people.

Why don't...

Why what?

Why won't you just

die?

Why won't you just fucking die?

Get out of the car.

Get out of the car, get out of
the car.

Get out of the car.

Hey.

You can't, you can't...

Get out of the car!

Alright.

Jesus, it's in a puddle.

Fuck.

My name is Catherine MacDonald,

and I want to be on
"The Gordon Baker Show."

For years, my mother used to try

to throw herself off a
bridge, and I always had

to talk her down, because she
needed me.

But now she's dead.

She died of cancer.

And I want my tragedy to have
value.

Button, you're not
scheduled till Thursday.

- I'm leaving.
- What?

I'm going to the city.

For how long?

The rest of my life.

Honey, you can't.

Like hell I can't.

Oh come on, Cathy,

- you gotta understand.
- No.

I'm not listening to you.

You don't know shit.

You give her booze when she's
happy

and food when she's
sad, but you don't know.

You don't know what she's like.

This isn't about her.

This is about the woman you
become

when this shit is all over.

What about the woman I am now?

What about her?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

You know what?

Killing herself would be
the least selfish thing

she's ever done!

Good afternoon, my lady.

Would you like a seat at the,
um...

Everything okay?

I need a room.

That's not really my
job.

I know.

I only have $84.

Like, in the world?

Yeah.

Alright, welcome to mi casa.

Uh, it's tiny, but I work a
lot, so I won't bother you.

Shoes off, please.

Oh, sorry about the crap.

♪ Bom, bah ♪

Yeah.

- Uh...
- Wow.

This is you.

Luckily, you get a pullout
couch.

That's great.

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

- Thanks.
- No problem.

Yeah, that's the tour .

- It's nice.
- Mm.

Jamie, you really don't have to
do this.

Sure, I do.

I like you.

You're nice.

You're a nice person.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Thank you.

That's alright.

Sorry for your loss.

Hmm.

Yes, she's in a meeting
right now.

If you'd like to leave a
message,

or would you like me to
transfer you to her voicemail?

Yes, why don't I do that?

Okay, I'll put you through to
her office.

Where's my line at five?

Ms. Weisman's ready for you now.

Okay.

Ms. Weisman?

Catherine.

Sit.

So my assistant tells me you
have a story for the show.

Cathy!

- Cath!
- What?

Doug's here again.

- Jamie, no.
- Okay.

- Tell him...
- Okay, okay.

I don't care what.

Yeah.

Sorry, Doug, she doesn't want to
come out.

Alright.

You have a good one.

- Yeah.
- Alright, take care.

There's tissues, right there.

Okay.

I, I don't know what's
happening.

I cry all the time.

Don't worry, tears will come.

Maybe try to fold into yourself
more.

That's better.

Are you comfortable?

- Not really.
- Good.

Now, what do you want to start
with?

- Leaving.
- No, no,

don't start at the end.

Okay.

Maybe the drinking or the
suicide.

Or the men.

But that's, um...

What?

Well, that's, that's all about
her.

And?

Well, I thought that they,

I thought that they
wanted to hear about me.

Oh, they do, honey, just not
yet.

Hm.

There, there she is.

There's the broken girl we need
to see.

I have something for you.

Just a small token of our
appreciation,

but if the show goes
well, there'll be more.

Thank you.

Wow.

You are welcome.

Just take a look around?

Just see.

This is the one.

Okay, so I'm just going
to feather it a bit.

I'm gonna give you my
specialty, Mia Farrow.

You saw her.

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

Yeah, she looks great.

You know, she's, she
looks fresh-faced, shiny.

She's got a good job,

good friends, too.

They're good people.

So she's happy?

Yeah, yeah, she's great.

It's all my fault.

It's always been my fault.

Tammy, you are not the center
of everyone's universe.

Oh thank you.

No, she's happy.

She's fine.

No.

Oh god.

Oh, uh, I forgot to tell you.

Doug came by the bar again.

Stop telling me about that.

He just wants to talk to you.

You okay?

What'd you do to your face?

Oh .

I can't cry.

Okay.

I used to cry all the time,

and now I can't even do that.

Why do you need to cry

For the show.

Cathy, you don't need
to cry for those people.

Yes, I do.

That's what they want.

Nobody wants to see me be fine.

Okay.

- Jamie.
- Mm-hmm.

Haven't you ever wanted your
life

to really mean something?

Honestly, I've never
really thought about that.

You've always just been happy?

Yeah, for the most part.

I've always just been happy.

Wow.

That's insane.

Oh .

For the
24-in-one chopper, call now.

Tracy, do you
know who the father is?

I don't know.

Does that make
you worry

about raising this child?

Yes.

It's okay.

You can let go.

Let it all out.

You're in a safe space here.

Catherine, the show is tomorrow.

This is a problem.

If you can't cry, we're
gonna have to find other ways

to up the ante of your
victimhood.

How?

I've got it.

Doug.

Doug?

Did he touch you?

What?

Could he have?

No, absolutely not.

It's odd, right?

A grown man, not a blood
relative,

hanging out with a little
girl, taking her to bars.

No.

Look, you can either be the hero

or the victim of this narrative.

And honey, you're a bummer.

And bummers aren't heroes.

How do we fix that?

If you refuse to go there,

you'll have to break in front
of them, full waterworks.

How you get there is your
business.

How many of you
have experienced this?

Yes, yes, oh, don't be
shy, put your hand up.

You are in a safe, comfortable
space...

I saw your episode yesterday.

You were great.

What is wrong with you?

There is beauty
in pain, and I say that

to a lot of people, and they
doubt me.

But on this show, you're
going to see the beautiful...

Go change.

Do you know why?

Because on the other side of
pain...

Psst, psst!

Over here!

No!
I forgot!

Let your hair down.

Yeah.

Okay, now don't be nervous.

Just be yourself.

This isn't me, though.

Well, then be this girl.

You ready?

Yeah.

You'll do great.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our next guest is a woman
who has no education,

no romantic partnerships,
no friends, no life,

and had a suicidal and alcoholic
mother.

So let's give a big welcome
to Catherine MacDonald.

Go, go.

Yes, let's keep that applause
going.

Thank you, Catherine, take a
seat there.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me.

So tell us about your mother.

Well, first, I think it's
important

to understand how I...

Yes, yes, you.

But before we get to you,
Catherine,

let's talk a little bit about
your mother,

a volatile woman, an addict,
impulsive.

Tell us about the bridge.

Well, there was a, uh, a bridge.

She would try to jump off of it.

That was before she was
diagnosed with cancer?

Yeah, before.

And then you had to watch her
die.

You had to watch her die.

Slowly, painfully,

you watched her die.

No, that's not what happened.

No, I mean, she had cancer, but
that's,

that's not how she died.

Then how did she die?

The bridge.

She went to the bridge.

I saw her,

and she was someone else.

She wasn't crying, and she
wasn't messy.

She was awake,

and I knew.

I knew that she wasn't mine
anymore, and I wasn't hers,

and all that shit that made us

what we were before was
just dead air between us.

She looked at me like I was
somethin',

somethin' more than what she
made me.

She looked at me.

And she saw me.

And then she let me go.

We're just gonna take a little
break,

and we'll be right back, after
this.

That crying is great, nice job.

I'll be back in five.

Well, it's over.

They probably won't even air it,

those disgusting people.

I sold my soul for a Toyota
Camry.

I think you should sit down.

What?

Miss you, buddy.

You came back.

I did.

Oh, Doug.

Hi.

Hi.

I guess you heard.

I heard.

I called and called.

I know, Ma.

It's okay.

My room still got a bed in it?

Sure.

Let me help you with that.

That is one fancy fuckin'
vehicle.

- Right?
- Right.

Okay.

- Alright?
- Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Come on.

This thing is heavy.

I know the wrong one of us died.

Please know that I know that.

You got any rye for this here
tea?

I don't even know who
I'm hidin' this from.

I kicked the smokes, though.

- Good for you.
- Yeah.

I told people you were dead.

I know.

To be fair, I basically am.

I never even saw him get sick.

You can never see what's
broken in a happy person.

He died.

I left, and he died.

Cathy, what I said to
you before you left...

It's okay.

No, it isn't.

Look, you're a part of me, you
know.

When I talk about you,

sometimes I'm just talkin' about
myself.

Yeah, which one's
got the flowers on it?

Here.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, very good.

This one?

Hey.

What do you want?

I just wanted to say that
I feel like shit about...

You should.

I don't need you to
apologize to me, Cathy.

That's never what I needed.

Yeah, baby, yes.

Okay.

Hi.

Hey.

I went to Scully's,

thought I'd see if they
needed any barmaids.

Why?

'Cause I'm gonna stay.

What?

I'm not your fault.

I know, but,

I'm just no good out there.

Don't let one sad thing
tell you who you are.

Not just one.

I made up my mind.

I'm gonna go take a shower,
'cause I'm freezing.

Cathy.

Yeah, Ma.

I always loved you more than I
could show.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hmm?

Ma?