Talking Walls (1987) - full transcript

A sociology student films sexual encounters in a motel for his thesis, and falls in love with a French girl in the process.

(catchy synth music)

- [Paul] Intimacy and Human Relationships.

A Master's Thesis by Paul Barton.

You know, I've studied people all my life

but I've never found the answer

to their most important question about human behavior,

and that is,

what makes a relationship work?

I mean, think about it.

Is it great sex?

Good conversation?

His and her bath towels?

The answer, it can't be found in any classroom

because intimacy takes place behind closed doors,

in the bedroom, when two people are alone.

And if I'm gonna find the secret to relationships,

that's where I've gotta be,

with those two people alone, private.

Secretly recording them.

(catchy music)

The Total Media Hotel, Hollywood, California.

This is the perfect place to begin my study

on human intimacy.

- Paul!

What are you trying to do to a working girl?

You're driving away my best customers.

Come on Paulie, Paulie.

You want to share a C-note with me?

Come on, put me in your film.

You know I oughta be in show business, at least.

- [Paul] See her, that's Sally.

And these are some of the other people who come here,

and as you can see, there's every size and shape.

There's a complete cross-section of the human race.

Now, if the secret of relationships

can be found anywhere,

it's gotta lie somewhere here behind those closed doors.

See, I know a lot about this motel

'cause I live and work here,

and in exchange for my room,

I take care of all the latest

state of the art video equipment.

Yeah, they don't call this place Total Media for nothing.

You're gonna find that out soon enough, believe me.

(drowned out music)

Now first, let's meet the man

behind this mecca for modern media,

it's my boss.

His name is Don Davis.

(catchy piano music)

# We're gonna rock it everywhere #

(catchy band music)

- [Paul] That's Don.

- Paul!

My one man video band!


- [Paul] And the one playing the washtub

is Don's wife, Rae.

Now they've been like a mother and father to me.

They took me in when I was an undergraduate

with an undeclared major.

I'm gonna be filming them now, and all their friends.

See, I'll have to look everywhere

if I'm gonna find the answer I'm searching for,

even here with them.

(dog barking)

- What ya doin'?

You making one of those X-rated jobs?

- [Paul] No, I'm doing my master's thesis

on videotape.

You want to be in it?

- Oh, you pay, you play.

But I'm not sure if you could afford it.

- Well, there's a lot of stuff going on here

at Don and Rae's hotel.

They're very open minded.

(seductive rock music)

The real action.

The action that I want to find out about

is what's going on behind those walls.

Behind the walls in the rooms.

When two people are alone.

I've gotta find a way to figure out

what's going on back there.

Here's my room, command headquarters.

Before long, every type of recording device

known to man will be wired up in this room.

You know what's weird?

I've always had an easier time

understanding machines than people.

But if I can use my machines

to find out more about people,

then maybe I can find a relationship

that will last as long as Don and Rae.

That's why I decided to videotape my life.

I want to see what I'm doing wrong,

what I'm doing right.

The problem is...

I don't know what makes a relationship work.

(whip snaps)

If these walls could talk,

can you imagine?


- Hi, Paul.

- [Paul] Hi, Luna.

This is Los Angeles Liberty College,

my educational institution for the past five years.

Meet the renowned sociologist, Professor Hirsch.

- Paul, what are you doing?

- [Paul] Professor, I've got to talk to you

about my thesis.

- Look, Paul.

You can't show real intimacy.

You can interview for it,

but you can't show it.

What are you gonna do,

sit at the end of a bed,

or the backseat of a car and watch?

This isn't Masters and Johnson.

Besides, intimacy is private, you know.

People are not mice.


You can kill mice in sufficient numbers

and you might produce a thesis,

you do not have mice here, Paul.

You have people.

I suggest that you pick a new subject for your thesis.

A thesis is a conclusion,

and I am gonna wanna see that conclusion.

Whether you use this camera or not, all right?

(car door slams)

(catchy music)

- See this mirror?

When it's dark in my room,

I can see right through it!

What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put up

this one way mirror in my motel,

and I'll be able to see into the next room,

and I'll be able to tape people,

and they'll never, ever know.


This is gonna be great!

(classical violin music)

Professor Hirsch!

You do not know what you're talking about.

I'll give you intimacy!

I'll give you the end of the bed!

(drill whirs)

(classical violin music)


Hello in there!


The Car Room!

A classic 1969 Cadillac El Dorado

made into a king sized bed.

This is an environment for people

who like to make love in the backseat of a car.

Remember all those steamy windows?

And I'm doing my research here.

Of course, you could also call it spying,

it's a tad illegal, but what a setup!

(classical violin music)


This is it, my dear friends.


To create higher resolution color

through my one way mirror.

If I had $5,000 I could get optical glass,

but you know?

Shh, shh, shh.

My first customers.

All right.

You notice how the video screen came on

when she opened the door?

Is that double meaning or what?

God, they'd die if they knew I was watching.

See, she thinks she's looking in the mirror.



Ah, I'd give her a nine

on a scale of one to 10.

This is not too bad for my first subject.



This might work.

Focus, yeah.



First, there was the Car Room.

And now, now...

Move over, Michelangelo!

(drill whirs)


Ah, I'm coming in!

I'm coming in!

I'm coming in!

(classical violin music)

I'm coming in!

Don is such an incredible visionary.

He couldn't sleep one night, right?

So he got this idea for a sheep room.


Yeah, you see, each of these rooms in the motel

has a different theme.

It's kinda like a Disneyland,

only it's for adults.


(catchy piano music)

- Are you well for this?

Think a touch of pink would help this room?

Look at that surf, makes me want to surf.

- Jump right on in there.

- Go shave.

You all had a face.

- Your mother had a face when she had you.

Oh, an awful one too.

- [Man] At least I had a mother.

(catchy piano music)

- Hello, gorgeous.

- Your ass...

- You look so gorgeous.

- And so big.


- Come on girls, oh I'm sorry, guys, let's go.

Come on, time's up, enough already.

Come on, let's go.

All right, come on.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- One, let's go, two.

Come on, come on, number three, let's go.

- Beauty's in the eyes of the beholder.

- Do I know about sexuality?

I'll show you!

(drill whirs)

I'll show 'em!


Research like he's never seen before!

I will!

(classical violin music)

And for those of you with foot fetishes,

the Shoe Room, need I say more?

(classical violin music)


Kamikaze foreplay, here we go.

They both have black belts, razzle that need.




I think I'm into slow hands and a light touch.

I guess you never know it works, ugh.


- [Man] I love you!

- I don't know if I wouldn't be happier

playing racquetball.


We are a family now.

One, two, three, four, five!

Five cameras!

Color monitors.

My mother computer.

I'm gonna record everything I need.

It can display and manipulate

all the information that I give her.

All courtesy of Don and Rae.

(catchy electric guitar music)

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Young and eager, the moment is right #

# Too much in a hurry to wait #

# Can't lose the moment #

# This is the night #

# Gotta make it happen before it's too late #

# Better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# All our passion locked up inside #

# Any moment we could explode #

# This kind of hunger can't be denied #

# With each passing minute we're losing control #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Call it fever, or call it desire #

# Give it any name that you've got #

# I still remember, it still lights a fire #

# Every magic moment is still burning hot #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

- Ah.

See this?

Come here.

This is great.

I can be anywhere, and this thing

will record what's going on in all these rooms.

It's wonderful.



You know...

I'm getting as crazy as those cartoon characters.

You know, those ones, those mad scientist types.

I mean, look at all this stuff!

Look at it!

That's not so bad, is it?

I just wanted to show you the place on Monday morning.

It's almost deserted.

Romance is for weekends.

Maybe I should go over to the campus

and check things out,

I'm not gonna get much research here.

The handyman's Roberto,

and he has a running battle with the Coke machine.

Check out this guy,

does he think he's Napoleon?


- This thing doesn't work a damn.

Got change for a buck?

- [Paul] No, sorry.


(catchy music)

(speaking in foreign language)

I gotta get outta here before Roberto gets violent.

Hasta luego, Roberto.

Good morning, Hirsch.

(catchy classical music)

Professor Hirsch.

Now, what I've decided to do is

I've taken my camera on the road,

and I want to uncover what human sexuality

really means out here.

Now, I'm not happy with just doing it

in the motel,

and I'm not happy with controlled situations anymore.

I think what is really gonna help

is by using my camera

and seeing what is really out there.



(catchy classical music)

Hey, excuse me.

- Hm?

- [Paul] Yeah, who are you?

- I'm Jeanne Andre.

- All right, could you talk...

- Oh.

My name is Jeanne Andre.

- Right.

Now, you're obviously trying to make

some kind of human sexuality statement with your statue.

- Uh...

Who am I talking to?

- To my camera.

- But there's nobody there.

- It's on auto-record.


- Wait a second.

Aren't you into some kind of kinky stuff or what?


- I'm a sociology student, I'm doing my thesis.

- Oh, then I'll explain it.

- Can you tell me what you're trying

to say with this, please?

- I don't know!

- Ah, cut.


I know where to explore human sexuality.


The Pleasure Chest, sexual supermarket extraordinaire.

And I'm gonna try to interview the owner.

Excuse me, sir.

Are people really buying this stuff?

- Oh, yes.

Very much so, yes.

- [Paul] Uh huh.

Yeah, well who usually buys it?

- The young marrieds and the older marrieds.

More woman than it is men.

The ladies come in shopping by themselves,

and then they bring their husbands in.

Well, the business in this store

is about 85% straight and about 15% gay.

- [Paul] Wow, so what's your biggest seller?

- Cock rings.

- [Paul] Excuse me?

- Cock rings.

- [Paul] That blows me away.

No pun intended.

- Hi Paul, how you doing?

- [Paul] Hi Luna, now can you make any

enlightening remarks about sex for my thesis?

- You know, I'm studying to be a sex therapist.

I know people say,

"Oh, Luna, she's studying to be a sex therapist.'

They think I'm easy.

But they don't understand.

I mean, my body is the most important thing

in the world to me.

Lookie, yada, yada.

You know?

I mean, some people, they want to end tyranny,

some people want to end hunger,

some people want to end strife.

But me?

I have decided to dedicate my entire life

to the eradication of premature ejaculation.

- Well, what'd you expect?

You saw her body.

Maybe I just couldn't resist.

I mean, all this sex going on next door,

I got sex on my brain these days.

Yet even with all the research,

I don't know, something was missing.

She was so hot to trot.

And I was off in outer space.

And then, when I came back,

she was sleeping.

Look at her sleeping like a little doll.


That is funny.

Don't ya think?

Let's see what the computer picked up

while I was gone.


- All right, okay.


Okay, move, move, slower, slower,

slower, faster now.

Oh yeah, that's great!

That's great, keep it that way.

Oh yeah, a little lower, oh, faster!

Faster, oh jeez.

Oh yeah, oh good, oh good, that's great!

Keep it up, that's right, you got it!

You got it, oh yeah!


(catchy music)

Oh, that was great!

Oh, that was great!

Wasn't that great?


How about a pizza?


- Harold, I'm waiting.

- What?


- It's time to have sex again.

- Wait, what?

- We have to have sex again.

- We already had sex three times.

- I know, honey.

But I still have to burn off 2,700 calories,

you know what I had for dinner.

Antipasta, cannelloni...

- Garlic bread, pizza, cheesecake.

It's not my fault you ate for five people.

- Harold.

You agreed, you know what that article said,

that one in "The Inquirer".

It says you can eat as much as you want

as long as you burn off the equal amount

of calories sexually.

Now come on, Harold, you promised me.

- Help.

All right, all right!

All right, sweetheart.

But I'm telling you right now,

my heart's not gonna be in it.

- Harold, it's not your heart I'm interested in.

- Ugh.


- Well, what have you discovered so far, Paul?

- [Paul] Uh, that women want romance,

and men want sex.

See, I'm living at this motel right now

and I've been watching.

Watching women and men,

and the women, they don't want it

the same way the men do,

they don't initiate it.

They go along with it, but they just don't initiate it.

- Yeah, well certainly.

People come to a motel for two reasons.

A place to sleep, and a common ground for sex.

There's nothing romantic about it.

- [Paul] No, but there is though.

There are some nights when the romance reeks,

it's so strong.

- I find that very hard to believe.

If you were really interested in romance,

you should've picked a restaurant,

a candlelit restaurant with violins, or whatever.

A place where people go to celebrate romance.

Be it an anniversary or an engagement.

There's nothing romantic about a hotel.

- [Paul] I guess it all depends

on who you're with, doesn't it?

- Well, you must really be a romantic.

- [Paul] Maybe he's right.

Maybe I am looking for romance in the wrong place.

Jeanne Andre.

Jeanne Andre.

That name sounds familiar.

Where have I heard that name before?

Jeanne Andre.

Where's that funny looking art student?

Suppose she'd mind if I crashed her party?

Wait a second.

Yeah, no, that is her.

- Well, well, well, isn't it

my weird friend with the camera, huh?


So, what do you think of my last piece of work?

- [Paul] It's beautiful, it's just beautiful.

- Uh, it's right there.

- [Paul] Yeah, right.

No, it's incredible, I am really impressed.

I did not know you were so talented, Jeanne Andre.

- I didn't know that a sociology major

was so interested in art.

- [Paul] Oh, yeah.

I've always been fascinated by art.

- Mhm.

Oh, I've got to go, okay?

- [Paul] Oh, wait, listen!

Maybe we can go to the beach sometime?

We can talk about art.

- You mean you, me, and a camera?

(lighthearted music)

So, this is how you spend your afternoons, huh?

- [Paul] How come French girls are so sexy?

- I never thought about it.

Is this how you tease us?

- [Paul] Yeah, it's for my thesis.


It's about romance.

- Oh, really?

- [Paul] Well, to be exact,

it's about the logic of intimacy.

- Is intimacy logical?

- [Paul] I haven't found out yet,

you wanna comment?

- Comment or get in my body!

- [Paul] Well, we can start with your comments,

and then see what your body has to offer.

- Okay.

We'll find it all out by seven.

- [Paul] I think I'm falling in love.

I oughta be careful,

I've already screwed up once with Luna,

and I don't know enough about relationships yet.


- This is my favorite video arcade.

Most of the students come here to forget their work.

- [Paul] Yeah?

- Hey, back to work, Paul!

- [Paul] I am working!

I've been filming you all day, haven't I?

(excited scream)

- I bet you're about to go tease us now.

- [Paul] Yeah, another guinea pig.

- Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

- [Paul] It means I'm studying you.

(excited screaming)

Come on, look up, lift your head up.

Now, I want to see your face,

let me see that beautiful smile.


What's so funny?

Why are you laughing so hard?

- Excuse me?

- [Paul] What, what is it?

- You look like something out of "E.T.",

all that equipment tied around your neck.

I don't know, it just strikes me as being funny

like a one man band.

Can I take a picture of you?

- [Paul] Why would you want to take a picture of me?

- Well, I mean, you seem to be having

such a good time.

Don't you like being photographed?

- [Paul] No, I don't.

- That's strange.

I thought you liked to be photographed.

- [Paul] No, I like to photograph, not be photographed.

There's a difference.

- A-ha.

You like to be the audience,

rather than performer, right?

- [Paul] Actually, I'm more the observer.

- Okay, I see.


- [Paul] God, she's beautiful.

I've gotta be careful.

If I rush into this relationship without knowing more,

it's just gonna end up

like all my other failures.

And I like Jeanne too much to blow it.

You got a boyfriend?

- Many.

- [Paul] Many?

- You never heard about French women?

- [Paul] (chuckling) I've heard about Swedish women.

Are they like French women?

Or are French women like Swedish women?

- What?

- [Paul] Are French women like Swedish women?

- I don't know, I've never dated one.

- [Paul] What?


- I've never dated a Swedish woman, I don't know.

I'm bored.

- Oh.

Enough romance, man, I've gotta get back to work.

- I never would've guessed

this woulda worked out so well.

- Most people that I meet in the bar

don't even deserve a second look.

- All that talk about Jerry Falwell.

That was your sense of humor, right?

- What, you think I said something funny?

- Well, calling Jerry Falwell a great American.

- You know, I don't think we're gonna agree on politics.

'Cause my feeling is,

I'm not even sure that this country deserves a Falwell.

- I know this sounds weird,

but I've never balled a conservative before,

and I'm sorry, it makes me feel uneasy.

- You know, you wouldn't talk to me

the way you do if you love me.

- Of course I love ya!

I'm fuckin' ya, ain't I?


- I want to go back to the office.


- Will you come off of it?

Come on, it's an old army joke,

don't let it bother you.


Of course I love ya, I'm fuckin' ya, ain't I?


Every time I think about that, it breaks me up.

Don't you get it?

- Floyd...

- Of course I love ya...

- I wanna go back to the office,

now would you please call me a cab?

- You want me to call you a cab?

- Yes, I do.

- Really?

- Really.

- Now?

- I'm serious!

- All right!

All right!

You're a cab.


- Are you crazy?

- You told me to call you a cab,

"All right, you're a cab."

You'll get over it.


I would call you a cab,

except I paid for the room.

Yeah, that's it.

- Well, where are you going now?

- I'm just going to the little boy's room,

I'll be back in a minute.

Hey babe, don't start without me.

- Floyd, I'm going.

This was a terrible mistake.

And another thing, you're fired!

I'm gonna get another secretary.

- Honey, wait!

Come on, sweetheart.

Hey, wait, Ms. Fernstein!

- Are you there?

- Oh, not yet, honey.

No, not yet.

- I can't stop.

- Please, Andre.

Don't, don't do it, not yet.

- I can't hold back.

- Oh please, Andre, I'm warning you,

don't, not yet.

- I'm ready.


- Now listen to me, Andre.

Stay right there, get a grip.

Don't do it, please.

- Freeze!
- What?

- Don't move.

- [Liz] All right.

- Don't breathe.

Don't you even breathe.

- Andre, Andre...

- Don't, don't!

- Andre, try to think of something else.

Think, Andre, think!

- Sure, sure.

I'll think of something else.

- Good, think!

Think, Andre, think.

- It's no good baby...

- Think, Andre, think.

- It's just leaking out of me.

- Andre, stop of that, think of cemeteries!

Think, Andre!

Think of sickness, think of dying,

think of herpes, no, not herpes!

Think of sickness, or...

- Sickness?

- Yes, cancer.

Think of an awful case of cancer.

Think of losing an arm from cancer.

Think, Andre, you can do it.

- I can't hold back.

- Yes, you can hold back, Andre.

You can hold back, Andre.

Think, just think of losing a leg from cancer.

Think, Andre, think.




- Sorry, baby.

I just couldn't help it,

I couldn't hold back.

It was just like a faucet.

- You did it, and I didn't even know

you were doing it?

- [Hirsch] How do you feel about

invading peoples' privacy.

- [Paul] I don't look at it that way.

- You don't look at it that way, but you are,

you must realize that.

How would you feel being filmed?

- [Paul] I don't know, what do you mean?

Like in the street, or in an interview?

- No, in the motel, in your most private moments.

- [Paul] I don't know.

I never thought of it before.

Maybe I should film myself.

Maybe that's what's wrong with my thesis, I don't know.

When I started, I thought it was gonna be

so easy to find the answer,

now I just seem to find more questions.

- You bully!



What you doing?

Ah, don't tell me, I'll guess.

You're shooting again, huh?

Being a voyeur.

Don't you like to participate?

- [Paul] Participate in what?

- What do you think?

- [Paul] S-e-x?

- Sex?

How can you have sex with all that equipment

all on you all the time.


- [Paul] Would you be interested

in trying to find out?

- What you mean?

- [Paul] I mean, I use it when I make love.

You want to find out what this gadget does?

- Let's go out first, and then I'll see.


I left France to study here.

That was three years ago.

- [Paul] Do you like it here?

- Oh yeah, very much.

But there are times that I miss Paris,

especially at night when I'm alone,

I often think about it.

- [Paul] What else do you think about?

- There was this boy, Gil,

he was older than me.

- [Paul] Well, tell me, tell me about him.

If you want to.

- There isn't much to say.

I was young, I was in love, it was spring,

you've heard the rest.

- [Paul] And how long ago was this?

- When I was 17.

Is this for your thesis again?

- [Paul] I don't know, it depends what I'm editing,

but please go on.

- Well, take it from me, a romantic French woman.

There's no logic in love.

You know, we make a very unlikely pair together.

You like to take pictures,

and I like to participate.


- [Paul] And why do you say that?

- Oh, I mean that's true,

the thought just came to me.

I mean, I like doing things,

and you like recording things.


- [Paul] Hey, isn't recording things doing things?

- No.

Not really.

- I started taping Jeanne

because I was attracted to her,

I mean look at this.

I mean, she is truly beautiful, I think.

Look it.

And I followed her around

'cause I wanted to find out her story.

But I never expected to be a part of it.

I'm a hopeless romantic.

How do you make someone care?

How do I make Jeanne care?

How do you make anyone care?

I don't know.

I guess it's just allowing yourself to be loved,

and let someone know how much you love them,

how much you care for them,

how much you respect them,

you see, respect's an important part of a relationship.

Sex is also a very important part of a relationship,

because sex, sex is communication.

Maybe Hirsch will have some answers.

- Paul, you have to realize

that with all your computers and cameras,

you're not necessarily capturing truth.

I mean, how do you know what people feel?

I mean, why should a person in a motel room

be any more truthful than he is in an interview?

- [Paul] But I have all the latest equipment.

It's gotta be able to tell me something

about how people are feeling.

- Not unless your camera can read minds.

- What do you mean I need new equipment?

- More equipment, Don.

- More equipment?

- Mhm.

- I got more video equipment back there at the motel

than the federal government.

What do I need more video equipment for?

- See, I got this idea, I read this article,

it's about thermographics, you know?

- Thermo-whatsits?

- Thermographics, Don.

Thermographics, okay?

What it does, you see,

doctors they use it now in hospitals

to see if women have breast cancer,

and it shows women's hotspots on their breasts.

- Keep your eye on the road, Paul.

- So, Hirsch doesn't think

I can read minds, huh?

I'll show him.

With this new camera of mine,

I'm gonna find out more about Jeanne

than she knows about herself.

See, nothing's gonna stand between us now.

(catchy music)

So let's see, you guys have been together 51 years?

- Since 1932.

- That's unbelievable.

Jesus Christ, so you guys have been together

through the Depression, World War Il, right?


The Moon.



That's just great.

How'd you manage it?

I mean, tell me, what's the secret?

- I don't have the vaguest idea.

I guess I love her.

I love Rae.

Not only do we communicate,

we even play together.

We give each other what we call "play time",

and we've been doing it for 51 years,

with one year off for bad behavior.

- What do you mean, you had an affair with someone?

- Rae did.

- You're kidding?

What did you do, didn't it kill ya?

- Well, you see what happened,

the best man won.

- What do you mean?

Oh, the best man won, you.

- Yeah, right!


- Let's go.

Oh, oh, oh, nothing can stop me now!

Why didn't I think of this before?

The thermographics equipment

is gonna tell me everything about human relationships.

I'll finally reach the conclusion of my thesis!

Marshall McLuhan, watch out.


Here's my perfect couple to test out my new equipment.

- Are you sure you know what you're doing?

This just doesn't seem right.

- Well, what's to know, honey?

There's nothing very complicated

about any of this.

- Oh, if my mother could see me now, she would die.

Just die.

I mean, the stuff of tying me up.

- Well, honey, it's all right here

in the book that I bought.

- Book.

- Why, does it bother you?

Listen, baby...

- No.

- Look, if it bothers you,

we don't have to go through any of this, okay?

- No.

- You don't have to go along with any of it.

Move your other arm over here.

- Oh, okay.

I'm listening.

- [Man] It says if anything goes wrong,

you're supposed to hum a tune.

- Tune.

- [Man] Oh, how about "Shave and A Haircut Two Bits",

you know what one?

Look, just go...


- I really, I just want to make you happy,

I really do.

- Yeah?

- But this is just a little too weird for me.

- Oh baby, it just seems a lot weirder than it is.

It's really not weird at all!

I mean, according to this book here,

a lot of people are into this stuff.

It says that anything that two people

agree to do betweenst themselves is not kinky.


- A pervert wrote that book.

- [Man] Aw.


- Stop it, you're crazy!

Oh, God!

- Do you want to know what I'm gonna do to you?

I'm gonna take you and I'm gonna make,

oh shoot, I bet you'd like.


- She's putting up a fight here,

but she's actually excited.

From just noodling around here,

I will be able to tell

exactly what she's feeling.

No matter what she says,

her erogenous zones, they can't lie.

My thermographics can't lie.


This thing's great.

You know what this thing does?

It gives me readouts.

Well, you know that,

'cause you've been watching what's going on here.

But it gives me these readouts, look it.

Where is it now?

Like penis.

I get things like readouts on penis,

stimulation, erections,

what turns people on.

I have all you, all my friends,

all my friends here!

I don't need to...

I only need to sit here and record,

watch data readouts.

I know what she's thinking,

I know what she's feeling,

I know what turns her on.

I know what he's doing right,

I know what he's not doing right.


I just want to know what I'm doing right eventually,

what I'm doing wrong,

and I've got a raspy voice,

so it doesn't even matter.

Just shut up.

Talk back, do whatever you want.



Hey, Jeanne.

Listen, I've been thinking about

what you said on the beach and, well,

maybe you are right,

maybe I should take a break from my thesis.

You know, we can go somewhere, maybe tomorrow.

We can go to the park.

- Do your friends have to come along too?

Are you filming me right now?

- [Paul] No.

- You're lying!

The red light is on, you're filming me.

- [Paul] No, I mean I promise not to bring

my camera tomorrow.

- Do I scare you, Paul?

- [Paul] Scare me?

Why would you scare me?

- Don't answer my question by another question.

Just answer my question.

- [Paul] No, you don't scare me.

I mean, I'm a sociology major,

how could I be scared of people?

- I was just wondering.

- Is that...

- Do your friends have to come along too?

Are you filming me right now?

- Her neck reveals everything.

- Don't answer my question by another question.

Just answer my question.

- She knows that she scares me.

But not for long.

- [Jeanne] I saw you, you were looking at me.

- With a little help from you guys...


I'll know everything I'll need to know

to turn her on.

To turn her on so much,

she'll forget how to speak French.

With my thermographics,

I'm gonna map out her erogenous zones

like a freeway system,

then we'll see who scares who.

I'll keep you running.

- [Jeanne] Hi.

- [Paul] Hi.

- Oh, no!

I thought you wouldn't bring the camera.

- [Paul] The camera?

What camera?

- Oh, come on, you're not fooling anyone, you know.

- [Paul] Oh, that camera.

Well, I was filming something else,

I guess I just must've left it running.

- Well, turn it off.

- [Paul] Huh?

- Turn it off.

- [Paul] Why?

- Because I want to be with you,

I don't want to be interviewed by you.

Come on, don't you know enough about me yet?


- [Paul] Well, I thought I did,

but I'm not so sure.

- Well, you can't ever learn everything about someone.

You've got to trust them and take a chance.

- [Paul] Yeah.

Well, do you mind if I just keep it running

a little bit just in case I come up with something

for my thesis?

- Oh, come on.

I'm not a textbook, Paul.

- [Paul] I know that.

- Wait a second.

Let's do something different, okay?

I'm gonna film you now.

All right?


I'm filming you.

I know, I know, you've been filming yourself a lot,

but this time I'm gonna film you,

and I'll be the one asking the questions.

- What do you want to ask me?

- [Jeanne] Well, I'd like to ask you,

why is it easier to film people

than to be with them?

- I don't just arbitrarily film people.

I'm filming them for a thesis,

I'm studying the...

- [Jeanne] Oh, Paul, come on,

cut that bullshit.

Do you really want to study them?

Or is it just that you're trying to

get an excuse not to get involved, huh?


- What are you trying to say?

- [Jeanne] What's the matter?

Are you afraid of people?

Are you afraid they're gonna hurt you?

I'm not gonna hurt you.

- You're not gonna hurt me, huh?

- [Jeanne] No.

- You know, I've heard that a lot lately.

People not wanting to hurt each other in relationships

and yet they do.

'Cause they're frightened of telling the truth.

People do hurt each other, you know.

Whether they want to or not.

I'm not saying all relationships are like that,

some relationships work.

And that's why I'm doing this, Jeanne.

I want to know.

I want to know what the truth is,

what it all means.

Why some relationships work and others don't.

And I'm gonna find out...

- [Jeanne] Paul.

- No, I am.

- [Jeanne] Paul, you're not going to find an answer

with a camera.

There's only one way to find the answer about love.

- How's that?


- By loving someone.

(lighthearted music)

# It seems like it took forever #

# Until we finally got together #

# But baby, you were worth all of the waiting #

# 'Cause even in my dreams #

# I never felt this right #

# I know that I've lived all of my life #

# To be loving you tonight #

# 'Cause making it with you, baby #

# For the first time #

# Waking up with you, baby #

# And knowing that you're mine #

# These are the moments we waited for #

# Now they're here #

# Nevermore #

# But I always have the memory #

# Making it with you, baby #

# For the first time #

# Tomorrow's getting closer #

# Can't believe today is over #

# Baby, look at all we've discovered #

# The moment of surprise #

# When I first felt your touch #

# And knowing one night loving you #

# Would never be enough #

# Making it with you, baby #

# For the first time #

# And waking up with you baby #

# Knowing that you're mine #

# These are the moments we've waited for #

# Now they're here #

# Nevermore #

# But I always have the memory #

# Making it with you, baby #

# For the first time #

# This is the start of the rest of my life #

# These are days I come alive #

# Making it with you, baby #

# For the first time #

# And waking up with you, baby #

# Knowing that you're mine #

# These are the moments we've waited for #

# And now they're here #

# Nevermore #

# But I'll always have the memories #

# Of making it with you baby #

# For the first time #

# Making it with you, baby #

# For the first time #

# For the first time #

# For the first time #

# For the first time #

# Oh #

- Mm, that feels good.

- I know.

- No!

How do you know, smart ass?

- Because I'm a mind reader.

- Well, if you're a mind reader,

why don't you invite me to your place?

- I can't.

- Why not?

- I can't!

Because it's...

It's messy.

- So?

- There's dirty socks.

- Oh come on, dirty socks.

I won't tell anybody about your dirty socks.

- Come on, let's go.
- No, I'm serious.

I can't take you back there, it's embarrassing.

- I don't even know where you live.

- Well, you'll see one day.

- Are you hiding something from me?

- No.

- Is there someone else?

That's why you don't want to take me there?

- No, Jeanne, there's no one else, don't be silly.

There's no one else.

- You're lying to me.

- I'm not lying!


What's wrong?

- I'm looking for honesty.

If you don't want that, just let's forget it, okay?

- Jeanne.


I'm not lying.

- I'll be up all night, so if you change your mind,

give me a call, okay?


- I don't believe this.

If I take her back to my place,

she's gonna think I'm a Peeping Tom.

I am a Peeping Tom,

but it's not what she thinks.

It's not.


Dirty socks, are you kidding?

You think I could've thought of something

more original than that.

Oh, now what am I supposed to do?

God, Roberto, you think you got problems.

You should see the mess my machines

have gotten me into.

(dog barking)

- What's the matter, Paul?

You keep looking at that clock over there

like you think it's gonna turn into a pumpkin.


- I'm just trying to decide whether or not

I should call her.

- Oh, girl trouble.

- Yeah, girl trouble.

- Let me tell you a little secret.

Paul, it's flowers.

- What do you mean, flowers?

- Flowers.

There ain't no mess that a guy can get into

that flowers won't get him out.

Now, Rae and I had a tiff just last night.

This morning I bought her these flowers,

and she just couldn't forgive me fast enough.


- Well, somehow I don't think flowers

are quite gonna do it.

- What's the problem?

- You really wanna know?

This girl, right?

She likes me.

She wants to come back, she wants to, you know.

But I can't take her back to my room.

- Why?

- 'Cause of all my dirty socks.

- Oh.

Well, why don't you use another room?

- Yeah.

Yeah! (laughing)

That's a good idea.

Another room.

- That's what I said.

- Yeah, yeah, I know, that's a good idea.

What about the Sheep Room?

- Sheep Room?

- Yeah, is it booked?

- Yeah, I just took a reservation on it an hour ago.

But how about the Cloud Room?

- Yeah.

Yeah, the Cloud Room.

- But don't take the socks.

- No, I won't take the socks,

but I'm gonna throw some stuff in there

so it looks like I live in there.

This is gonna work.

Yeah, this is believable.

Okay, great, can I get the key?

- Oh yes, here they are, right here.

- I'll fix this tomorrow, all right?

I owe ya.

And the flowers, listen.

I'll get Rae some new ones tomorrow.

Okay, Don?

Really, I appreciate this, thanks.

And don't forget, I'll fix this tomorrow.

(acoustic guitar strumming)






Okay, a couple more subjects for my thesis,

now let's just have a little peek

before I call Jeanne.

If I can just get this thing focused.

Here we go.

(sheep baas)

Wait a second.

That's Professor Hirsch.

I don't believe...

That's Jeanne.

He's with Jeanne?

Now what have you learned, Paul?


What have you learned, Paul?

(tape rewinding)


What have you learned, Paul?


(tape rewinding)

What am I supposed to do when I see them?

What the fuck am I gonna do?

She never cared about me.

All that talk about commitment, about honesty.

This is what I get.

(phone ringing)

- [Hirsch] Hello?

Who's there?

- You don't want love.

Just relief, you fuck.

(dramatic electric guitar music)

# You drew blood, baby #

# The wound's deep #

# Don't know if it's going to heal #

# I fell far, baby #

# The climb is steep #

# I may never find the way I used to feel #

# When I found you #

# I thought I found forever #

# But then I saw the two of you together #

# And forever #

# Turned to never #

# Cut by the knife #

# Burns like a flame #

# Gets you to wondering #

# If it's worth the game #

# On the losing side #

- Come to me.

(dramatic electric guitar music)

# It enters your heart #

# Fills it with doubt #

# Starts you to thinking #

# You're better without #

# On the losing side #

(speaking in foreign language)

# The losing side of love #

- Come to me.

(speaking in foreign language)

# Now I'm lost, baby #

# Where do I turn #

# Looks like there's no one to trust #

# Miss your touch, baby #

# Memory burns #

# Hurts so much to see 'em turn to dust #

# I remember #

# You promised me tomorrow #

# Well, now I know your promises are hollow #

# Our tomorrows never followed #

# It cuts like a knife #

- Come to me.

# Burns like a flame #

# Gets you to wondering #

# If it's worth the pain #

# On the losing side #

# The losing side of love #

- Come to me.

(speaking in foreign language)

Come to me.

(speaking in foreign language)

# Fills it with doubt #

# Starts you to thinking #

# You're better without #

# On the losing side #

# The losing side of love #

- [Paul] I should've just stuck with my machines

is what I should've done.

They never let me down, they never hurt me.

All people know how to do is hurt.

I wouldn't of shown up if you'd do this to me.


Maybe I should look at myself more closely.

Forget her.

She majors in pain.


(train honks)

Oh, no.

Here comes Luna.

Hope she doesn't ask me out,

I'll have to turn her down.

I don't want to hurt her,

but I gotta be honest with her.

I just gotta tell her, I gotta say,

"Luna, I don't feel the same way that you do."

I gotta be firm, gentle but firm.

- Hi, Paul.

- [Paul] Oh, hi, Luna.

Jesus Christ, she didn't even stop.

Nobody likes me anymore.

I wonder what these people know that I don't.

Maybe I just don't know how to relate to people.

Guess I'll never know.

I think it's time to give up on my thesis,

I'm never gonna find the secret.

- [Hirsch] Hey, Paul.

- [Paul] Oh, shit.

- I thought you were gonna show me some videotape.

- [Paul] Yeah, I'm going to,

just I haven't edited it yet,

and it's still in like a raw form.

- Look, Paul, I have to know what you're doing,

I can't allow anything illegal or immoral.

- [Paul] Yeah, I know,

I just need some more time, all right?

I gotta sort out some new equipment that I've got.

- Next week I want to see your research procedures.

- Okay.

Aw, great.

You know, if Professor Hirsch doesn't approve of my thesis,

I'm never gonna graduate.

Oh, God.

What am I gonna do about my thesis, you guys?


I gotta see Professor Hirsch tomorrow,

I gotta show him something, right?

What am I gonna show him?

I can't show the stuff with him and Jeanne.

I can't show him anything in this motel

'cause he'll recognize one of the rooms.

What can I do?

Maybe I should do something really weird,

then he won't bother to ask me why I filmed it.

What's that?

The Sheep Room went on.

Come on, let's check it out.

(catchy piano music)

(sheep baas)

- Hey!

Can you see me?

Am I on television?

Don't worry, your secret's fine with me, honey.

How do I look, am I beautiful?

You want me to take my clothes off?

Hey, say something!

Say something!

(gun firing)


- Okay guys, let's go.

(gun firing)


(glass breaking)

(gun firing)

(dog barking)


- Never cheat another American again!

(speaking in foreign language)

(Spanish guitar music)

- I like this.

I like the way you do this, you know?

It's just so free form of you.

You give me everything I ever wanted,

you never complain.


And the way you treat me,

what you do with me is so great.

You manipulate me, you use me, you abuse me,

you torture me, and I love it.

I can't help it, I love it, it's so good.

And you're with me every step of the way.

You know what I like bout you?

It's also because you know all these

different kind of things to do.

And the way you behave in public...


Oh, thank you, oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Please, can I do something for...

You're my best friend.

You're so attractive.

You are everything.

- See, the reason I decided to show you this one

is because I really feel that this guy

has a specific problem being intimate.

- Yeah, I'd say he does.

- Have you shown this to anybody else?

- No, but what I'm saying is

that there's a correlation here between

what people want and what my thermographs prove

that their bodies are responding to, it's...

- Look, Paul.

I've been willing to let you go

way out on a limb,

but don't expect me to follow you.

This is not a thesis.

It's very interesting, but how do you expect

to form a conclusion when you haven't even handed me

a concrete proposal.

- Because there's a connection here,

that's what I'm saying.

- What?

- There's a connection between what people say they want,

and what my thermographs prove they really want.

You see, it all ties in,

I'm onto something, I swear it,

it's all related to romance, to intimacy,

it's there, and all I need is a little bit more time.

I know I'm onto something, please,

just give me a little bit more time, I...

- Look, Paul.

I shouldn't let you continue.

- But you will.

- No comment.

- Well.

I did it again.

Bullshitted my way past Professor Hirsch.

So, how come I feel so lousy?

I don't know, maybe it's because

he's sleeping with Jeanne,

and I'm sleeping with my videotapes.


Maybe he's right, maybe there is no conclusion

to my thesis.

- Paul?


- Fuck!

- When I saw the equipment,

I thought it might be you.

How you been?

- Oh, great.

Really great.

- I missed you.

- Yeah.

- Maybe we should get together and talk?

- What's there to talk about, Jeanne?


- I'm sorry for being so pushy the other day.

I guess I shouldn't force you.

- What are you talking about?

You were absolutely right.

I mean, you were talking about commitment.

Maybe it is time for us both to make a commitment.

- What do you mean?

- I'm telling you that you're absolutely right.

What you were talking about,

about commitment, about honesty.

About not lying to each other.

- I'm not lying to you.

- Forget it!

- Oh, come on, Paul.

Don't walk away, we need to talk.

- [Paul] So, talk!

- Are you mad at me?

All right, if you want to comment,

then why didn't you call me, huh?

- [Paul] I did call you!

- When?

I waited all night.

- [Paul] Well, you didn't wait long enough.

- I waited all night,

and then a friend of mine picked me up.

Or was I supposed to wait for you all my life?

- [Paul] What, so you just went out with a friend

for a cup of coffee?

- What if I did?

What if I went out and fucked him, huh?

- [Paul] Don't...

- What if I went out and fucked

the whole football team, huh?

I mean, what difference does it make?

You had your chance, you didn't take it.

- [Paul] I tried!

I was ready.

But you gave up before you even gave me a chance.

You're the one who wasn't ready!

You're the one who wouldn't give a commitment!

- Yeah, maybe you're right.

Maybe I wasn't ready.

It's okay.

It won't happen again.

- Yeah, you're damn right it won't happen again!

'Cause I'm never gonna give you a chance, lady!

Go back to him.

I don't even care.

I don't even fucking care.

Fuck, I broke it.


Are you working?

Are you working?


Sorry about that, I guess I lost my temper a little bit.

Suddenly lost her this time for good, didn't I?

I guess we better go home.

Let's go home.

I'm sorry.

They all look so different now.

I guess cause the fun's gone.

All the color's gone out on my life.

People don't seem to be so interesting now.

I lost Jeanne for good.

# There's the new machine #

# There's the new machine #

# We hope it works #

# There's the new machine #

# Better than ever #

(fun band music)

# Let's get together #

# Forever and ever #

# And we'll have lots of fun #

# Fun, fun, fun, fun #

# Fun #

- Senorita, senorita!

New Coke machine, new Coke machine!

(dog barking)

- At least Roberto's problems are solved now.


Sex is a 13 letter word called communication.

This is it, do or die,

I'm not leaving this room until

I come to a conclusion on my thesis.

I'm not messing around anymore.

(catchy music)

# Everybody has a story to tell #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# They try to disguise it #

# In all shapes and sizes #

# But no one is safe #

# What is it, what is it #

# What is it, what is it #

# They all have a secret, remember too well #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# The ladies who hustle #

# The men with the muscle #

# The small and the brave #

# What is it, what is it #

# What is it, what is it #

# If the walls had ears #

# Tell me all it would hear #

# If the windows had eyes #

# I wonder who they'd surprise #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talking walls #

# I'm hoping, I'm hoping #

# I'm hoping, I'm hoping #

# I'm hoping, I'm hoping I tell it all #

# Unravel all those mysteries #

# Answer the questions still puzzling me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me #


- [Paul] I gotta find the answer here somewhere.

I gotta find something.

I'm just not looking hard enough.

I go through all the tapes again, okay?

I'm gonna go through everything.

No more romance, it's between me and these machines.

If there's an answer,

I'm gonna find it somewhere in these tapes

and I'm not gonna give up until I find it!

# Everybody has a lie to reveal #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# Yes, each generation #

# Will yield to temptation #

# Find something to hide #

# What is it, what is it #

# What is it, what is it #

# They'll never admit it, it's always concealed #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# Tell me what is it, tell me what is it #

# It's kept undercover #

# It's best not discovered #

# Just hold it inside #

# What is it, what is it #

# What is it, what is it #

# If the walls had ears, think of all they would hear #

# If the windows had eyes #

# I wonder who they'd surprise #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talking walls #

# Hope, and I hope, and I hope #

# And I hope, and I hope #

# And I hope, that I #

# Tell it all #

# Unravel all those mysteries #

# Asking those questions still puzzling me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

# Talk to me, talk to me #

- Aw, I haven't even begun to communicate with her.

She's probably already scared off

'cause of my stupid embarrassment.

I gotta get to her.

I gotta let her know how I feel,

I just gotta straighten this out, you know?

I've had enough of this childish,

stupid computer bullshit.

You did, didn't that kill ya?

- Well, you see what happened.

The best man won.

- [Paul] Oh, the best man won, you.

- [Don] Yeah, right!

- I'm going for it.

He's right!

I'm not gonna give up on Jeanne without a fight.

I'm a fighter, man.

I gotta find her.

I gotta find her.

Find her!

Where is she?

Whatever I do, you guys are history,

you got that?


(classical violin music)

Don's right, you gotta fight for what you want.

I'm gonna fight for her, I'm gonna go to her,

I'm gonna be honest.

I'm gonna tell her the truth.

I'm gonna let her choose.

Now these damn cameras are not gonna hold me back,

I'm not gonna let machines ruin my life anymore.

I gotta find her.

(classical violin music)

Okay, she's not at the college,

and she's not at her dorm,

and her roommate said she's with Hirsch.

I'm gonna find her, and to hell with her

if she doesn't like it!

(classical violin music)

- Why did we come here again?

- Well, where else should I bring you?

- Listen, I cannot do this anymore.

- What are you talking about?

- There's someone else.

- So?

We're even.

- [Jeanne] Then you should leave.

- [Hirsch] Why, you love him?

- [Jeanne] Do you even know what love means?

- [Hirsch] Ah.

Well, do I know this lucky fella?

- [Jeanne] Even if you knew him,

do you think I would tell you?

- [Paul] What's this?

My computers are on.

- [Hirsch] No, I guess not.

- [Paul] Is it recording?

- Well, why don't we just say

that this was mutually convenient,

and agreeable at the time.

- Is that all you have to say?

- Well, I did pay for the room.

What about a farewell fuck?

- I thought about it.

Now that I'm here, I've changed my mind.

- I guess I have nothing left.

- [Jeanne] Oh yes, you do.

But not with me.

- Well.

Can't say it hasn't been enjoyable.

- [Jeanne] How about educational?

- Yeah, very.

- [Paul] I'm turning you guys off.

I'm gonna start living my life.

I'm not gonna record it.

Goodbye fantasy, hello reality.


(romantic music)


- Go, it's over!

Please, can you understand that?


Go away, please.

- [Paul] Jeanne, it's me, it's Paul.

Open up.

- Paul?



What are you doing here?

- Oh girl, I'll tell you everything one day,

but please now just hold me.

Yeah, honey.

- You knew about me?

- [Paul] Yes.

- You knew all the time?

It was something I had to get out of my system.

Can you understand that?

- All I understand is that I truly care about you.

I have never wanted anyone

the way I want you,

and whatever happened before, is the past.

I'm only interested in us, and the future.

- Can we really be together

knowing what you know about me?

- Yes, that's why I'm here.

- Tell me it's gonna be all right.

- Of course it's gonna be all right.

Oh, what I know, what I've learned.

Honey, it's only gonna help us.

- You know, I really missed you.

You, your friends, the camera and video recorder.

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm glad we're finally alone together.

You believe me?

- Yeah, I do.

I love you, Jeanne.

- I love you, Paul.

- From now on...

We're not gonna have anymore friends

to record everything.

We're just gonna live life.

- Promise?

- I promise.


Well, Professor Hirsch, there you have it,

the conclusion of my thesis,

the final leap in my thinking.

The answer was staring me in the face

all along, Professor.

And I was just too blind to see it.

It's not so complicated or difficult.

Anyone can find it.

What's the answer?

It's love, Professor.

It's just love.

(romantic music)

(catchy music)

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Young and eager, the moment is right #

# Too much in a hurry to wait #

# Can't lose the moment #

# This is the night #

# Gotta make it happen before it's too late #

# Better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# All our passion, locked up inside #

# Any moment we could explode #

# This kind of hunger can't be denied #

# With each passing minute we're losing control #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat, backseat #

# It's better in the backseat #

# Backseat #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Than nothing at all #

# Call it fever, or call it desire #

# Give it any name that you've got #

# I still remember, it still lights a fire #

# Every magic moment is still burning hot #