Talatin Yom fi el-Izz (2016) - full transcript

LIMAN 440

Adawi Al Adawi, sentenced
to ten years in prison with hard labor.

Yes, he is a bully,

but he's the true incarnation of manhood.

Sallouka Al Amouh,
also sentenced to ten years in prison.

Even though he lost his hair in
mysterious circumstances, he's funny.

Baba Mansi, also sentenced
to ten years in prison.

The poor are always forgotten.

And lastly, Atwa the Monkey,

he was sentenced to ten years, too.

Honestly, Atwa is... No comment!



And of course,
this is the morning roll call.

And, of course, this is how Atwa
starts his morning.

I studied all the prisoners
and chose these four...

to take revenge on the people
who put me in jail.

To take revenge for me, Al Ghazuli.

Adawi!

Consider yourself the playmaker
of this mission.

Sure, but why be so offensive?

No, it's is a good thing,
you're the fixer.

Hey, guys!

-How are you doing?
-We're fine.

Do you remember that matter
I wanted to talk to you about?

-No, we don't remember.
-Very good.

I don't want any of you
to go to sleep tonight



so I can explain to you
what it is that you don't understand.

-Fine!
-Excuse me, sir, I’m going to the canteen.

Good luck with that.

Come with me.

Try not to fall.

They're my partners in the mission?

It's fate.

Mansi! Mansi!

Yes, sir!

I've gathered you all here

to tell you about your mission
which, if you complete it,

means you'll get out
of here and never have to come back.

I want to hear everyone's story first

so I can decide what part
you'll play in the mission.

That's the purpose of this interview.
Who's going to go first?

-Me.
-Me.

I speak very well.

The bottle will choose.

But the bottle doesn't know us!

It's me!

Atwa the Monkey will go first.

I am the greatest monkey of them all.

Greater than Gamal the Monkey,
Fawzi the Monkey

and Alaa the Monkey,

and the whole zoo.

I was married to a very pretty woman.

Her name was Fayza.

Her relatives from the country
used to visit her all the time.

-How are you, cousin-in-law?
-I'm fine, sir, good morning!

You don't need to visit as much,
God bless you.

Don't say that, man, we're relatives!

God bless you,
but I have a bone to pick with you.

-What?
-Why did you upset Fayza?

Does she complain
every time I come?

Yes, she does.
She's waiting for you upstairs.

It was nice seeing you,
have a good morning.

-How are you, Atwa, cousin-in-law?
-Good morning, cousin. How are you?

-This is too much, really!
-Don't say that, man, we're relatives!

-Things are going well.
-God bless you, cousin.

-Tell me, is Fayza upstairs?
-Yes, she's waiting for you.

-I visit you too often these days.
-Don't say that, Fayza likes your visits.

There we go. Hurry up.

I'm coming, what's the rush?

Welcome! You brought chicken?

-Good morning, Fayza!
-Good morning!

-Lots of things for you.
-You always come with something.

Hurry, before your stupid husband comes!

-You're always in such a rush!
-Hurry, Fayza!

-Oh, dear!
-Hurry, Fayza!

-Bolbol?
-Hey, Fayza!

-What is it, Bolbol?
-Slow down because my heart aches.

Duck face.

You're sweet like honey!

Come back tomorrow, I’m busy right now.

I got all dressed up and you're
telling me to come back tomorrow?

You really do scrub up well!

Uncle Said didn't leave
before helping me finish my look.

-And what a finish!
-I want my payment for the pants.

Did I say I wouldn't pay you, Bolbol?
I'm just a little busy.

Busy how? Let's go inside
and we'll be finished in five minutes.

-I wish. Tomorrow.
-No, I can't tomorrow.

-Come back tomorrow, sweetheart.
-I swear I’ll tell Atwa.

Tell him, sweetheart?

-Go, sweetheart! Go!
-You're so pretty.

-Hey, Atwa!
-What a damn morning!

Everybody in the neighborhood is talking
about Fayza's visitors, Atwa!

Let them talk!

Then you should know she
hasn't paid for the pants you're wearing.

What? She didn't pay?

Fayza! Fayza!

What do you want?
What are you yelling about?

-Are you making fun of me?
-What are you talking about?

Oh dear!

You haven't made a payment
for the pants in two months, woman?

I made all the payments, dear!

I got one payment
but you didn't pay the rest.

Do you believe this duck face?
You're a liar and a jerk!

-Really? I’ll tell him what you said.
-What did she say?

-She called me "honey."
-You'd call this face "honey"?

I’ll tell you how she made
the payment for the pants.

I swear on your honor.

What a scandal!

Everybody watch! Everybody watch!

My wife, Fayza, receives men all the time.

"Who's that, Fayza?"
"He's my cousin!"

"Who's that, Fayza?"
"My other cousin!"

And on top of that,
she hasn't paid for my pants.

I’ll teach you a lesson, you witch!

-You've killed her.
-Go away! Go away!

Go away! Go away! Go away!

How many payments
did you owe on the pants?

One year’s worth.

She made the first payment
and didn't pay the rest.

-Did you complete the payments or what?
-Her cousin did.

What color were the pants?

This isn't the time for that, man!
The second story.

Have some self-respect, Sayed Balcony,
and go to sleep like your friends.

I’ll tell you what, I will do it.
I’ll speak no matter what!

-We don't want to hear your stories!
-He's not going to speak.

What's the matter with you?

I will speak.

Do I get to speak?

Of course you get to speak.

I’ll tell you how she made
the payment for the pants.

I swear on your honor.

What a scandal!

Everybody watch! Everybody watch!

My wife, Fayza, receives men all the time.

"Who's that Fayza?"
"My cousin!"

"Who's that?"
"My other cousin!"

And on top of that,
she hasn't paid for my pants.

I’ll teach you a lesson, you witch!

-You've killed her!
-Go away!

Go away! Go away!

You'll waste your life!

You're such a failure!

Yes, that's me.

There I am.

You're wasting our time
pretending to be a tough guy!

-No!
-Calm down, Adawi.

Wait guys, this gentleman did me a favor

and brought me here.
Continue, Balcony. Continue.

Go away! Go away!

Go away!

-Get in it!
-Where are you taking me?

-I’m going to hide you.
-Where?

-On my balcony.
-Where?

On my balcony.

You savage! You monster!

-Where do I go?
-Go outside.

The balcony is spacious and airy,
what else do you want?

Spacious and airy?
Damn you, I'm suffocating.

The police will never know you're here.

-Don't leave the balcony or I’ll kill you!
-Why?

Walls have ears
but the balcony doesn't have walls.

Stay here until we decide
what to do about your problem.

I am in heaven!

Go inside.

I can't wait for you to kiss me.

Go inside.

Why don't you answer me?

Yes?

Should I sing for you?

It's been years that I’ve been into you

And your love is always on my mind

You never talk and never greet

And you never talk!

You drive me crazy!
Stay here, I’ll be right back.

A woman!

Give me a kiss, woman.

I've been imprisoned
on that balcony for a year!

Atwa!

Why have you left the balcony?

I want a kiss, Balcony!

I've told you before,
you can't break into people's houses!

You're with a woman every day, Balcony!

Go outside man!

It's like a prison, man!

Go outside, idiot!

-Damn you and your balcony.
-Go outside!

You never talk

What did I do, my God?

Solitary confinement has more space
than this damn balcony.

I should do something.

The police. The police!

Help me! Help me!

Police, I'm a fugitive!

Balcony is hiding me on his balcony!

Police!

-Sergeant!
-Let's go!

Help me!

-Come on, son!
-God damn you, Sayed Balcony.

Did you ever even dream
of a balcony like mine?

God damn you and your damn balcony.

I was going to die on it
and you brought home a mute woman.

God damn you!

Go!

Hey, girl!

Take care of the balcony.

I'm angry that I didn't
tell the police about you, man.

I would've been sitting
on my balcony right now in peace.

We need two days to understand
those two sentences.

Come on already, guys!
Who's next? Come on!

-The bottle will choose.
-Spin the bottle.

Mansi, the third story.

I was the best parking attendant
in the best parking lot.

I would wink and the car
would park itself.

Any car I washed
would stay clean for a month.

Talk, then.

I was engaged for ten years
to a girl named Asila.

She was very devoted.
She was waiting for me to build myself up.

To the point that I called her
The Patient One.

I can't take it anymore, find a solution,
my father finds me a new suitor every day.

I just said how patient you were.

-I can't take it anymore, Mansi.
-You're right.

I've decided to go to Libya
and make something of myself there.

Who goes to Libya and comes back again?

Don't worry, girl,
everything's going to be all right.

What do I do about my dad
and his suitors?

Do what any honest girl does.

Refuse to marry them, is that so hard?

-What do you say to him?
-I don't want him.

What do you say to him?

-I don't want him.
-Say it again!

I don't want him.

-What?
-I don't want him.

-What?
-I don't want him!

-What do you say?
-I don't want him! I don't want him!

-So, honey, what do you say?
-I don't want him! I don't want him!

I don't want him! I don't want him!

I don't want him! I don't want him!

I don't want him. I don't want him.

It's my fault, I made you say
that you didn't want him.

She doesn't want him!
She doesn't want him!

She doesn't want him!

"She doesn't want him",
"she doesn't want him!" What is that?

The story of Sallouka Al Amouh.

They pick on me!

They pick on me! They pick on me!

They should with a brain like that.

They pick on me!

They pick on me!

My mom used to treat me and my brother
differently, I don't know why.

Why did you cry so much, Sallouka?

I was like any baby that cries
and wants a pacifier.

You're so annoying!

Have some mercy! You leave the kid
on the mosque's doorstep every day.

I can't keep him, he's so annoying!

-He's our son.
-That's true, but he's still annoying.

30 YEARS AFTER SALLOUKA'S WHINING

Listen, Sallouka! I've left everything
in my will to my son Kamel,

I haven't left you a cent.

My dear father!

-You're so stupid, boy.
-And also annoying.

-Am I not your son?
-No, you're damn irritating!

You killed our dad, you irritating boy.

He died of his own accord,
why are you doing this to me?

I am your son.

-No, you're not, Kamel is my only son.
-And you're an irritating boy.

-Kamel is my only son.
-And you're an irritating boy.

-Kamel is my only son.
-And you're an irritating boy.

-Kamel is my only son.
-And you're an irritating boy.

-Kamel is my only son.
-Enough! That's enough!

There, I've killed him.
Who's going to be your son now?

And they pick on me. They pick on me.

You are an irritating boy,
they were right to pick on you!

Shut up, honey. Shut up.

You talked and you talked,
and this one got fed and slept.

Who hasn't spoken yet?

I'm the only one left, you idiot.

Give me my bottle please, Adawi.
Talk then.

I was the last respectful roughneck.

Very tough guys used to work for me.

And did people pick on you?

Lock it, boy.

Lock it.

Come on!

Come on, boy!

Come on, boy!

Good morning, guys.

-Good morning, boss.
-Good morning, boss.

-Welcome, boss.
-Mind your own business.

I want to talk to you, Adawi.

What do you want, Tawhida?

-Good morning, boss.
-Good... Look away, all of you!

-What do you want, Tawhida?
-Good morning.

Come with us.

Wake up, man. Go away, man!

What do you want?
What's brought you here?

I’ll wait for you today, don't be late.

Wait where?

Didn't you agree with my father
that you'd come to propose to me today?

Yes, but I'm busy today.
You need to support me in such moments.

Really? I've been supporting you
for three years, but today you're busy?

Make yourself free for me.

You're going to shout at me
in front of my men?

-Yes, I am!
-Girl!

You know that I'm not the marrying type.

Really? Since when?

Why did you come? Quickly.

I'm going to the market.

-Okay. Ginnesh!
-What, boss?

Go to the market with Tawhida
and if anybody looks at her,

tell him that she's mine. Whose is she?

-She's yours.
-Go, Tawhida.

Okay, Adawi, but I'm sick of this.

I swear I’ll humiliate you.

Go, girl!

-Take care of her.
-Yes, boss.

I don't know who's
going to take care of who.

Heaven help us!

Hot!

Hot!

Hot!

What's wrong with you people?

Hot, hot, hot.

Can't you see I'm with her?
She's the boss' girl.

I swear I’ll call the boss, Adawi.

It seems that you're cheating, wait.

This is Adawi,
who gets people what they're owed.

Yes, Boss Adawi. Bring the guys
and come to the market, boss.

They hit on Tawhida, boss.

Don't hurt anybody.

I have to hit all of them, boss.

Hold yourself back, boy. I'm coming.

A massacre is going to take
place in the market, guys.

The market, where there are no real men!

The market, where there are no real men!

What's the matter?

Tell him what the matter is, boss.

Tell him what the matter is, boss?

Yes. Tell him.

You don't know what the matter is?

No, tell me.

The matter is that I have a hottie.

I swear to God, she really is a hottie!

-Hottie or not, boy?
-Hottie, boss!

-Hottie or not, guys?
-Hottie, boss!

Hottie or not, boy?

Hottie.

But she's my hottie.

Tell them to go easy on him
or else he'll die.

I told you only to punish him for what
he's done in the last three years.

Teach him a lesson
for the last three years only.

Back off!

Back off!

Back off!

Tawhida!

Who's next?

Nobody's after me. Nobody's after me!

Don't worry, boss!

I've gathered you here today
for a very dangerous mission.

You are going to escape
this prison to save a woman.

-No! No more women!
-She's not just any woman,

she's a foreigner
and doesn't have anyone here.

She's a dancer.

She seduced a rich, old man
and took his villa, garden and cabaret.

Unfortunately, the man
was keen to make her happy

and so he took a lot of different
medications. He died, of course.

He left her the villa, garden,
cabaret and his son, Adham.

God bless him!

God damn him, you think he's a baby?
He's as big as a mule.

He closed the cabaret
and wants to rob her of everything.

Where do we come in?

You're to get rid of Adham
and reopen the cabaret.

And after we get rid of Adham
and reopen the cabaret?

Then what happens?

You kill the woman.

I don't understand anything!

Is the cabaret inside the villa?
Or the villa inside the cabaret?

O night!

Gain a good man and lose ten jerks

Losing a jerk is always an advantage

Don't befriend just anyone

Having a lot of friends
Is not always a good thing

A good man is worth a hundred friends

Don't ever befriend a jerk

A good man is worth a hundred friends

Don't ever befriend a jerk

Don't ever befriend a jerk

A good man is worth a hundred friends

But the jerk is worth a hundred foxes

Foxes

Easy girl

I've seen many things
Because I'm a good man

But all of this changed
And bad people can never approach me

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

Those who are good will gain my heart
But bad people will never be my friends

Bad people will never be my friends
I will never forgive

From now on my heart is dead
From now on I will not forgive

From now on my heart is dead
Those who are good will gain my heart

Bad people will never be my friends

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

I saw many things
But those days are long gone

I'm really fed up
But those days are long gone

I'm really fed up
But those days are long gone

I'm really fed up
But those days are long gone

My good heart made people think

That I'm weak
See who's weak now!

No more goodness
No more good heart

People don't deserve my goodness

People don't deserve my goodness

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

No more goodness
No more good heart

People don't deserve my goodness

No more goodness
No more good heart

People don't deserve my goodness

People don't deserve my goodness

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

From now on I will not forgive
From now on my heart is dead

Adham.

He used to go to the cabaret
day in and day out to annoy customers

and make them leave,
until he had ruined it.

Is there a balcony in the villa?

What... balcony?

What balcony? What balcony?

No worries, boss!

How much time do we have to do this?

The mission should be done in 30 days,
but not just any 30 days.

Thirty days of glory.

Why 30 days?

It's the time I have left
before I'm released.

Heaven help you!

None of you bastards wants
to ask me the girl's name?

Right, what's her name?

Shafika.

Her name is Shafika
and she's a foreigner? How?

It's a nickname.

None of you bastards wants
to ask me her address?

Why the rush? What's her address?

It's the first house on Desert Road
in Alexandria, Villa Shafika.

Her name is Shafika
and she's a foreigner?

None of you bastards wants to ask
the last question?

You reminded me.

The most important thing is, none of you
should look at her during the mission.

Otherwise you will be attracted to her
and you will fall in love with her.

You will ruin the mission
and all of you will fall into the trap.

Is the trap in the villa?
Or the villa in the trap?

What is he saying?

What is he saying? What is he saying?

At 9:00 a.m. all the prisoners
will go out to the recreation area.

Seven p.m. is action time.

All the prisoners, except for you guys,
will go to their cells.

You'll find a sergeant
in the control tower.

He's in on everything.
He'll meet you by the light.

Come on!

Come on, man!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Let me play hide-and-seek with them.

They're escaping!

They're escaping without telling me?
The bastards!

-This is the villa?
-Yes.

-I think we should knock.
-Are you coming to propose?

You're a thief and should jump
the fence, what's wrong with you?

Stop it! Stop it!

Did you forget what Al Ghazoul said?

-What did he say?
-Nobody is to get attracted to her

or like her or love her,

or else the plan is ruined
and we'll all fall into the trap.

The most important thing is that
there's a balcony in the villa.

Aren't you tired?

-Go ahead!
-You're taking that thing?

I won't let go of what helped me escape.

Give me patience, God!

None of you should look
at her during the mission,

else you'll be attracted to her
and fall in love with her.

Men!

Come on!

Come on! Come on.

-Are you Ghazuli's men?
-Yes.

Why are you standing there
with your backs to me?

Never mind, this is just what we're like.

We talk from behind
and hug and greet from the front.

Golly!

We should put our heads together
to figure out how to deal with Adham.

I'd love to do that!

There's no need for that, really no need.

Go to your room.

-Where's our room?
-Downstairs in the garden.

Let's go, guys.
My assistant will bring you everything.

And take a shower, you smell.

And where's your room?

My room? There.

There? Can I take you there?

Golly!

At your service, sir!

We'll recapture these men
in a few days, sir.

We won't rest until we've found them, sir.

Bonsoir!

The weather's nice.
There's even a full moon tonight.

Look, Ghazuli, I have four words for you.

-Four or ten?
-No.

Four words are better than ten.

-Where are the men?
-I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

-I do know.
-Good boy, where are they?

They went to Dream Park.

Very difficult mission, guys.

It would've been easier if it was
Mission in Tel Aviv.

What are you blubbing about, guys?

She's just another
utterly worthless woman.

What sort of woman?

She's the hottest woman ever!

She's a woman like any other woman.

She's human, you guys!

-What else could she be?
-She's sweet like honey!

Level with me,
I have a complex about women.

Let's go to sleep early
so we can wake up early

and go get revenge on them.
Now go to sleep.

I'm going to get some fresh air.

I'm going to get some air too.

I'm going to walk in the air.

-You stay.
-We're all in this together!

I'm coming for you, dear!

God, give me patience!

What is this?

You're so busy dancing you have no idea
what's going on around you!

-Get out.
-I'm hiding for her.

Here he is, I caught the second one.

You're cheating on me?

Come here! Come out!

Okay!

What's this? What are you doing here?

We came to find out...

What this is. What is all this?

-Is there anybody else?
-Yes, Balcony!

Yes? I'm here.

Is there no respect?

Is there no respect?

Is there no decency?

I don't understand...

All these wolves in your room
and yet no dog comes to howl at my door.

It seems I can't even
relax in my own room.

No, you can relax in your room.
And if you need a massage,

I have silky hands.

You mean hands that are used to handcuffs?

Sallouka, Mansi, Atwa, Balcony!

Yes? I'm here.

Out. Get out of here! Come on!

-Out of here!
-This is so unfair.

Come on.

-My heart is your prisoner.
-Come on, boy.

Lock your door from now on
so that no one can get in here at night.

Excuse me!

You're acting like children!

Is that the mission we came to accomplish?

What a disappointment! Pervert!

Those who make women
their trade will lose.

Get to bed. Get to bed!

Because I was correct

I am hurt

I am hurt

I am hurt

I am hurt

I held them in my heart

And I never disappointed them in my life

I was correct

But I was hurt

I am hurt

I am hurt

I am hurt

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

They were ungrateful

She was ungrateful to me

And she made me cry

She was ungrateful to me

And she made me cry

She betrayed my goodness

And she made me cry all the time

And complain all the time

Cry all the time

And complain all the time

No one betrays

except the ungrateful

No one betrays

You forgot me

And forgot our love

You forgot me

And forgot our love
I'll forget you

And leave you

I'll forget you

I'll forget you

And leave you

I'll forget you

And leave you.

Why, why, why

Were you so ungrateful?

Why, why, why

Were you so ungrateful?

You were ungrateful

Ungrateful

Ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

Do as you want and forget our love

Forget our love

Life will teach you a lesson

Teach you a lesson

-Abuse me and forget me
-As you want

-And tell everyone
-You're the one

Abuse me

And hurt me

Abuse me

And hurt me

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful

You were ungrateful
You were ungrateful

What, guys?

What were you doing in the bathroom, Atwa?

-I was taking a shower.
-Man!

That's not a habit of yours.

What's so strange about it?

Who takes a shower at midnight?

We're not up to this mission,
or this woman.

She's got a pair of eyes
that would make any guy fall for her.

This girl is worthless, by the way,

none of you can talk to her.

Be men, guys!

I think I'm speaking clearly.

Half of his words are true!

That's enough, you guys!

Listen, from now on,
whenever you stand in front of this girl,

no one looks into her eyes,
everyone looks at the ground.

You hear me? Go to sleep now.

Go!

Go to sleep!

Come here.

-Come here, where are you going?
-To the bathroom.

Again? Your health is at stake, son!

I don't want to hear another sound.

You arrogant guy!

What is this?

You're better than drugs.

Give me that, I'm the drugs guy.

-You know what I'd like to do, Mansi?
-What?

I'd like to plant this whole
garden with cannabis

and build an empire just like
Ahmad Zaki in the movie The Emperor.

And then get a bullet
in my head at the end.

-You know what I'd wish for?
-What?

To commit a crime or kill somebody
and get put into the women's jail.

Yes, so it is men and women.

Hello, Aunt!

Did you consider my offer?

Yes, I did. And I won't sell the villa.

I'm also going to reopen the cabaret.
Was there anything else, Adham?

You're playing with fire, Aunt,
and it will burn you.

Who are you? And how did you
get in here without a permit?

-Who are these men?
-I'm her cousin.

I was in Iraq and have just got back.

I'm her other cousin. I was in Libya.

And I'm her neighbor's son.
I've just got back from Sudan.

I'm her other cousin, and I was in Yemen.

And I was on my balcony
and just got here.

When are you going to leave?

When things calm down in the area.

Then you'll be staying a while.

What are you going to do with them?

-With who?
-With the band of men downstairs.

I'm not thinking about that.

These are people from Cairo.

They're here on a mission, dear.
When they finish it they'll leave.

Yes, dear, but they're criminals.

They may well complete the mission then
decide they want the cabaret and kill you.

-What?
-You should think about how to play it.

-How?
-Make them all fall in love with you.

No, my dear, you can play
with everything but love.

That's when you love them in return,

but the reason we're going
to make them fall in love with you

is so that they don't hurt you.

How can I make five men
fall in love with me?

Even I love you, you sweet honey pie!

Give me a kiss, girl, come here, honey.

Where are you going, sugar babe?

R!

F!

Sibai!

Yes, boss?

Go to Shafika’s place and kill those
boys that are there with her.

-Yes, Mr. Adham.
-Go!

Okay, boss.

What do you want, Shafika?

Why won't you look at me?

Be quick, what do you want?

I want you for a mission.

We could work together to get some money.

Do you know why I don't look at you?

Money ruins beauty.

I don't ruin things, Adawi.

I just need money to open the cabaret.

Move!

Don't think that they'll protect you.

You seem like a good guy, a real man.

Get your hand off me.
And mind your own business.

Don't play around with me,
get straight to the point.

Okay.

A quarter of a million pounds.

Take this, and take your loser friends,
and get out of here. Leave my aunt alone.

That's what you want us to do?

That money will change your life
and solve all your problems.

Is that what you think?

-Say hi to my aunt.
-I will.

What's this?

Money.

Adham wanted to buy me off with this.

And did he?

Nobody buys me.

My instincts were right then.

I knew you were the one
the second I set eyes on you, Adawi.

Don't try to play me.

-You're going to ignore this beauty?
-Your beauty is a curse.

I'm a beauty that nobody can ignore.

Tell me what you want exactly.

You are the man that should protect me.

We are all protecting you.
What else do you want?

I'm here on a mission, Shafika.
I will complete it, then leave.

This is the money you wanted
to reopen the cabaret.

Keep it with you.

That's all I have. See you.

-Come here.
-Where?

Here.

What are you doing? Stop it!

Come here, boy.

Come here and make me forget the past

Come and fill my lonely heart

Come here and make me forget the past

Come and fill my lonely heart

Tell me where you’re taking me.

Dear God!

What is this beautiful car?

-Is it a toy car?
-You're the toy.

My late husband bought me this car.

But I didn't drive it because of Adham.

He bought you a car? Whoever married
you should have bought you a plane.

Do you know what I want?

Yes, you want to turn this car
into a taxi and for me to drive it.

Taxi? Is that what you think, bald man?

You noticed that I'm bald?

-Can I ask you for something?
-Your wish is my command.

I feel like taking a ride in this car.

But if I take you for a ride in this car
I will upset my friends.

Your friends?

Please, Salluki!

Damn my friends!

My Salluki!

-Have pity on me!
-My Salluki!

I don't know if I'm Salluki
or not right now.

Clean the car before we go.

Okay.

I wonder what she likes about me.

Bobos! Bobos!

Bobos!

Bobos! Where are they? Bobos!

"G" is for "getting fat"

"B" is for my "big stomach"
"Q" for "quickly"

-Where did they go?
-Our guests?

-No, Shafika and Sallouka.
-He took her for a ride in the car.

I'm sorry!

-Is this the time to go for a ride?
-It's not my fault.

-Damn you!
-Forgive me.

Forgive me.

Go and get me some paper and a pen.

No, I'm not into temporary marriage.

And I'm not into temporary marriage
or formal marriage or proper marriage.

Are you into a mutual agreement?

-Go and get me some paper and a pen.
-Why do you want them?

-To write a letter to Al Ghazuli.
-You can write?

You think Ghazuli can read?

-I really love violence.
-Really? Take that then!

Here it is! Hello, from the King of Liver.

Why are we here?

I'm going to feed you
the best liver sandwich ever.

I don't like liver.

It's not just any liver,
it's an elephant's liver.

-Elephant liver?
-Yes. King of Liver?

Yes, sir?

-Two sandwiches of elephant liver.
-Are you out of your mind?

Any sandwiches, my friend,
she's not going to analyze them!

Your wish is my command.
Two sandwiches of elephant liver.

You can see how he has
the body of an elephant.

I hope you don't grow
a trunk after eating it.

-Great sandwiches of elephant liver.
-Eat, honey. Eat. Eat.

-Tell me what you think.
-This isn't elephant liver, you liar.

You want us to kill an elephant
so that you can eat a sandwich?

Eat!

I will show you our beautiful
urban neighborhoods

and the beautiful people in them,
who love and help each other.

Everything is beautiful here.

-Listen, man.
-What?

-I want this girl.
-Why? Isn't she with someone?

-I said I want her.
-You're causing a problem!

God damn you, Shafika.

You've stressed the guys with your trip.

I don't want you to get so worked up,
he's probably on his way.

He said he'd be back in half an hour.
He's really late.

Don't worry, he'll be back.

Waiting is the most
difficult thing in the world.

Come here, I’ll tell you
all about the pain of waiting.

I've been waiting for "the one" for years.

-He won't come.
-He will come.

He won't.

I was actually considering
that you might be too much for me.

But now I've discovered
that I'm too much for you.

-You're too much for anybody!
-What?

-You're too much for anybody!
-You're saying he will come?

-Here he is!
-Who? Sallouka?

The Kanafeh guy!

Haven’t you noticed? I haven't eaten
anything since this morning.

-Why are you standing like that?
-I'm standing by myself.

And what kind of posture is that?

It is the posture of Ramadan Sobhi
on the football pitch.

If you're Ramadan Sobhi,
then I’m Hazem Emam.

My God!
Is this the cabaret they want to fix?

It'll take a lot of money.

I am the lion

I am the lion

I am the lion

I am the lion

Let's go to the marriage registrar
And get married

Even though those who get married
Are said to be crazy

It's okay to be crazy if she cuddles me

I fell in love with her
And I've been crazy ever since

Let's go to the marriage registrar
And get married

Even though those who get married
Are said to be crazy

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion
Here I am

Why, my love?
What did I do to you?

My heart is still small
And you're too big for it

A little bit of flirting

Tell your mom I'm coming for dinner

You are the most beautiful thing

You are everything

Let's go to the marriage registrar
And get married

Even though those who get married
Are said to be crazy

It's okay to be crazy if she cuddles me

I fell in love with her
And I've been crazy ever since

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion
King of the jungle

I am the lion
I am daddy

I am the lion
King of the jungle

Watch the lion
I am daddy

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion
Here I am

I am the lion

Your wish is my command, honey

You can put the handcuffs on my wrists

I cannot say no to you
Because I know you

You're the one I love the most

Oh, honey!

Get out, sweetie pie.

Get out!

What a beauty! I would've taught
that guy a lesson if you'd let me.

But I'm more handsome with this injury.

They're all jealous,
pretend you don't love me.

We were--

What's wrong? Is this
the international day of getting beaten?

-Stop it!
-I want to tell you something.

What is it you want to say?

You again? Stop it!

I won't...

I want you to say to me,
"I love you, Touha!"

Who's Touha?

Touha is the only name I can pronounce.

Say it to me, just once.

-How could I love you?
-Because love is blind.

I don't understand anything.

Do you think I understand
anything you say?

What language do you speak?

The language of love and feelings,

the language of sensations.

Is that right, Veranda?

Veranda? My name is Balcony.

Call me Balcony!

My Balcony!

My God!

-Ciao!
-Goodbye, my dear!

Stop it, Adawi!

-That's not enough!
-What's this?

What are you doing to each other?

They're doing that because of you.

This one loves you and this one loves you,

this one loves you,
and even this one loves you.

They've forgotten what's important.
Everything Ghazuli said was right.

Okay, people, let's focus
on what's important.

We will open the cabaret

and solve all of our problems,
then I’ll choose one of you.

I don't understand what's going on.

Don't forget Sallouka Al Amouh.

Mansi, manufacturing diploma.

Atwa the Monkey.

Just so you know,
she already made her choice.

No Adawi, no Sallouka, no Balcony.

No, I want them all.

My heart and its key
Are yours

I said someone would come.

I want Shafika to love me,
what can I do for her?

-An ultrasound.
-Is she pregnant?

I want her to love me, what do I do?

-Do what she likes.
-What does she like?

What does she like, Bobos?

Get her a classic chicken
dinner and coleslaw.

And that will make her love me?

Yes, just listen to what I say.
Do you have money for the bus?

-Yes.
-Go!

-One second and I’ll be right back.
-Okay.

-"Cole" what?
-Coleslaw.

Bosbos,

I want to find a way into Shafika's heart.
Where do I begin?

Are you asking for directions?

I want to reach her heart
so that I can marry her.

You should marry me as transportation
and reach her through me.

But it wouldn't be fair
to go between you both.

She'll have two nights and I'll have one.

-Is that fair?
-Then give her three and me one.

-That's unfair to me.
-What do you want now?

One night with you
and a lifetime with her.

-No, my friend, I'm monogamous.
-Tell me what I can do to get her.

-You're from Port Said, aren't you?
-Yes.

Get her some fish.

Good girl!

Who's the best girl ever?
The chubby girl!

-Good evening, my chubby honey.
-Good evening, my heart.

I want to reach Shafika's heart quickly.

In that case, I’ll make you reach
for Shafika and her mother

and give you Armenian
nationality with no visa.

But money isn't everything,
romance is beautiful as well.

You should be her Romeo
so that she becomes Juliet.

Romeo? I know who Romeo is,
but who's Juliet?

He's a chair-maker in Port Said,
I’ll take you to see him one day.

-But...
-You can go.

-What's this? Are you trying to kill me?
-Who am I?

I don't care who you are!

-I’ll tell you something, my dear Bobos.
-What?

I want to reach Shafika's heart.
What do I do?

Go away and play!

I'm not kidding, Bobos.

-I want her to love me in a selfish way.
-What way?

A selfish love.

You must be sick.
I’ll get you some medicine.

I'm not sick, girl.

Ever since I saw her,
I've been eating more,

and drinking more and sleeping more.
I just need to marry her.

-Come here.
-Leave me alone.

-Come here and listen to me.
-Have you lost your mind?

You want Shafika? Pretend I'm Metwalli.
Just a little kiss!

Where did the boys go?

They went to get some things I needed.

Stop messing around, girl.

What are you talking about?
I don't understand why you're so serious.

-Be a little flexible.
-How?

-Come here.
-What do you want?

-I want a kiss.
-Really?

Have some decency, close your eyes.

-This is how it's done?
-Yes.

Close your eyes tight. Are you ready?

Was that a kiss?

All right!

-What's this?
-That's for me.

-I mean, for you.
-For me?

Did you get hot or spicy sauce?

-Hot.
-Thank him.

Thank you...

Mansi. Mansi.

Nancy.

Nancy?

She forgot my name, how can she love me?

-Love me.
-Love you? From which side?

From this side.

What a picky man!

-Who made Mansi bring this chicken?
-Me, I told him you really like it.

He doesn't know that it's for me.

Every one of them is willing
to do anything for you now.

Atwa will be a Romeo.

I'm Romeo! Romeo!

My dream woman
My sugar pie

My dream woman
My sugar pie

-Oh my God!
-Let him go to hell.

What's this beauty?
You drive me crazy

All this love, Atwa?

I wish you'd be grateful, Fayza wasn't.

You men are all so playful!

I've never loved anybody but Fayza!

Go back to your past, my dear,

and remember how many times
you fell in love.

How many times you felt the pain.

How many times?

No!

You should be beaten.

I will not get beaten again.

Where's this smoke coming from?

This is what happens
when I remember my past.

Let's go.

I want to tell you what's in my heart.

Tell me.

My heart is full of grief because of you.

And my hand wants to reach out to you.

Reach out to you...

I love you, Satamouni,
no matter how much they blame me.

-What's that smell?
-It's this, I brought you fish.

What's wrong? Tell me you're okay.

Tell me you're okay.
Is it your bedtime now or something?

Or are you pretending
to pass out so I'll carry you?

I will make your wish come true,
just a second.

Just give me a second to record
this historic moment.

Have you seen Shafika?

Who's Shafika?
What's wrong with you Egyptians?

You're all chasing after a foreigner?

I'm the oldest one in this villa.

Men were wonderful to me before.
Why doesn't anyone want to marry me?

They used to marry anyone before.
They were open-minded.

What's wrong with you men?

-Neighbors will look at us.
-Why would they look at us?

Let them look at our ruined country.

All women have Botox.

And I can't have that!

We are in the Botox era!

I’ll go to Shafika.

Go see her,
that's all any of you are good for.

-What's wrong with you?
-Why are you all running after her?

I'm an open book in front of you.

-Close it quickly.
-Why?

-I'm being totally honest.
-Cut it out.

-Where's Shafika? Shafika.
-God damn you, pretty Shafika.

What's wrong, my dear? What is this?

This is for adults
and you're not an adult, my love.

I'm a mess!

Why are you upset and crying?

Because none of you
are paying me any attention.

The problem is that
you're too big, my love.

-What?
-Too big.

That's what you're good at,
making fun of me.

I'm too big? I'm a poor girl!

I wish a man would pay me some attention!

Hello.

Like that!
Come and see how beautiful you are.

Come here.

Adawi!

You're busted! If you like him,
what do you expect me to do?

Go to your room.

Damn my obesity
That makes me need people

My stomach disappeared
And things have changed

And I wore tight clothes
And made men lose their minds

Why are you all alone?

I like to be alone.

Why? I'm here.

Look, Shafika.
I don't want to be unfair to my friends.

We're here on a specific mission.

I'm begging you to let us
finish it and leave.

Damn the mission!

I love you, Adawi.

Don't play with me.

You just said that to Atwa,
Mansi, Sallouka and even Balcony.

Yes, I did, because I was afraid of you.

But when I got to know you,
I saw that you were kind.

But you know that I only love you.

Just say it and I’ll be yours.

And the villa and the cabaret
and everything. Just say it!

Be careful.

Is he the only one leaving?

You've to take good care of him.

I'm not afraid of facing lions,
I'm only afraid of the treachery of dogs.

This is the easiest mission
I've taken on, by the way.

Don't worry, we'll kill him for you
and bury him on my balcony.

This slingshot never misses.

Ignore these beginners!
Atwa the Monkey is your man!

Good heavens, hide me, he's come here!

Good heavens, hide me!

Good heavens!

Oh my God, they'll kill us!

You idiot!

They're shooting!

Oh my God!

God damn you!

I’ll teach you a lesson.

-It's me, Mansi, you fool!
-I forgot!

You scared me!

Zaky Chan! Zaky Chan!

Tell your boss,

if he thinks he's a big boss,
I'm Bobos the Great.

Hit him!

I'm not with them. I'm not with them!

Come to Papa!

I will drown you.

I’ll teach you both a lesson.

Where did Shafika go?

The angel of death sent me for your soul.

Get up!

Cuddly girls

Girls are like candy

Girls are like candy

Girls are so beautiful

Girls are cuddly

Girls are like candy

Girls are like candy

Girls are like candy

Anklets and high heels
Heaven help us!

Anklets and high heels
Heaven help us!

Look what the girl is doing
My heart can't take this

Look what the girl is doing
My heart can't take this

-Show me
-Show me

-Show me, girl
-Show me

-Show me
-Show me

-Show me, girl
-Show me

Girls are like candy

Girls are so beautiful

Cover yourself so you don't catch a cold

I love the red you're wearing

Cover yourself so you don't catch a cold

I love the red you're wearing

My God!

My God, you've made me crazy!

You make my heart dance

Dance on the drums
You're the big boss!

A ring and a bracelet
Under the veil

A ring and a bracelet
And she smokes shisha

Who is this girl?
Why are you wearing a tight skirt?

Who is this girl?
Why are you wearing a tight skirt?

-Show me
-Show me

-Show me, girl
-Show me

-Show me
-Show me

-Show me, Sophie
-Show me

-Girls are like candy
-Girls are like candy

Girls are like candy

Girls are so beautiful

You're so beautiful, bright white girl
I'm afraid you'll hurt me in the dark

You're so beautiful, bright white girl
I'm afraid you'll hurt me in the dark

Anklets and high heels
Heaven help us!

Anklets and high heels
Heaven help us!

Look at what the girl is doing
What do you want, girl?

Look at what the girl is doing
What do you want, girl?

-Show me
-Show me

-Show me, girl
-Show me

-Give me a kiss
-Show me

-You sweetie pie
-Show me

Girls are like candy

Girls are so beautiful

Girls are like candy

Girls are so naughty

They're so arrogant
They kill you with their eyes

They're so arrogant
They kill you with their eyes

Anklets and high heels
Heaven help us!

A ring and a bracelet
And she smokes shisha

What do you want, girl?
Why are you so pretty?

What do you want, girl?
Why are you so pretty?

Girls are so cuddly

Girls are like candy

Anklets and high heels

You got rid of Adham
and reopened the cabaret.

You just need to choose one
of the five wolves downstairs.

I don't know, Bobos.
Honestly, all five are really good men.

Go make me some tea while I decide.

Make a decision without drinking tea.
Do you have to make me work?

Make tea so that I can think clearly.

Okay, I will make tea,
but choose quickly. It's just a man.

May the doors to happiness
open up for you!

-You too!
-The fridge door is my door to happiness.

Hello, police?

Yes, she loves me, she will choose me.

She loves me.

She will choose me, of course.
I'm the prettiest out of all of you.

And I just look like Hassan Youssef.

You look like a joker!
She chose me as soon as she saw me.

If she doesn't choose me,
she will be making a big mistake.

She's into love and romance.

Don't overthink it!
She chose me, my dreams always come true.

Just don't fight
and keep an open mind about it.

What's this? What's this?

You're finally caught. Take them!

Wait till we see which one she chooses.

She chose all of you, all of you!

I missed you! I really missed you.

I'm impressed
by your intelligence, Shoushou.

I'm impressed by your cunning,
which is better than intelligence.

You executed everything
exactly as I planned it.

You got rid of Adham
and we reopened the cabaret,

and gave up our dear friends.

Hello, police?

I want to report five escaped prisoners.

-Is that so, Veranda?
-Veranda?

Is that so, Salluki?

Is that so, Atwa?

You...

-Mansi.
-Nancy.

Did you love any
of those bastards, Shoushou?

Is that what you think, Ghazghaz?

You only fall for the big boss.

A special salute to the big boss!

Salute to the big leader!

I salute the boss of burglars
And all the criminals

I salute the boss of burglars
And all the criminals

Money is so beautiful
You're the one pretty face

You're the one

You're the big boss
You lead and we follow

We eat scraps
And you eat delicious chicken

We eat scraps
And you eat delicious chicken

You eat almonds and peanuts
While we eat Cape gooseberries

While we eat Cape gooseberries

This is life
Sometimes up

Up, up

-Sometimes down
-Down, down

-Sometimes up
-Up, up

-Sometimes down
-Down, down

If you have no money, you're worthless
If you're broken, then you're nothing

This is life, there's the weak
And there's the fat prick

Fat prick

Let's go!

No, let me dance, yes

Come here

The burglar is always greedy
And the greedy always stay below

Tell us, boss of the burglars
Who always wants more

Tell us, boss of the burglars
Who always wants more

We are the prick burglars
We are totally locked up

We are the prick burglars
We are totally locked up

Fat prick!

Here comes the bully and his father

Here comes the bully and his father

Here is the prick
And he's always scared

Here is the prick
And he's always scared

-Here is the burglar
-Burglar

-Here is the burglar
-Burglar

Here is the burglar
And every lock has its key

-I am the burglar of empty houses
-Empty

-And he got knocked out
-Fat prick!

Fat prick!

We love the one who loves us
And he becomes one of us

And we hate the one who hates us
And we never see him

Here we go!

-Those are the loser burglars
-Loser burglars

-They don't know how to do their job
-How to do their job

-Those are the loser burglars
-Loser burglars

-They don't know how to do their job
-How to do their job

Those are our loser friends
They stole a wallet from a guy

Their tires went flat
and they got locked up

Those are losers

Those are losers

That's all!

The movie is finished, go home!

Subtitle translation by Wael Koubeissy