Take It from the Top (1978) - full transcript
A bored housewife achieves fame by writing an erotic novel.
TAKE IT FROM THE TOP
Shit, shit, shit!
Damn it!
A FILM BY NICOLE DE BURON
Someone should tell her
hoop earrings aren't cool anymore.
Hey, did you hear?
Catherine wants to go out with Louis.
-Hi, honey!
-Where?
How are you?
-Who's Marc?
-Nobody.
Really? Here, this is for you.
Thanks.
I have to go.
The house has been invaded.
We'll talk about it
in math class, OK?
See ya.
Julien!
Hi! Did you have a nice day?
Sido! You lazy thing!
Bunch of morons...
They've got to be kidding.
And this other idiot's so pleased!
They're morons,
the whole lot of them.
I'll end up going broke and
making cheese in the countryside.
You OK, honey?
Good evening. Is dinner ready?
You have 15 seconds
to answer tonight's question
on our show,
If You Lose Your Head, Shake a Leg!
Who famously said,
"So much water, nothing but water"?
Christopher Columbus.
That's so wrong!
But you weren't far off.
The answer isn't an admiral...
Yes, that's right.
It's not an admiral but a marshal.
These people on TV are all morons.
I'll add 100 francs to the bank.
To continue,
you have to pedal half a mile.
-I'll try...
-Well done!
-Is it good?
-What is?
-What you're eating.
-Mm-hm.
Maybe you'll make it!
It's shit with sugar on top.
Put some muscle into it!
Come on, you can do it!
I'll encourage you.
What a bunch of ruminants
you all are!
I'm sick of this!
You'll get boiled potatoes tomorrow!
Are you all deaf?
What's gotten into you?
All I want is for you
to say "good evening" to me.
"Good evening, honey."
"Good evening, Mommy."
It's not so hard, is it?
"Good evening!"
A piece of furniture!
That's what I've become to you!
As transparent as glass.
I'm just a ghost!
It's like I don't exist!
Wait, I do exist! I'm the idiot
who does all the housework!
Do you know what my life is like?
I'm just a maid.
I wait for you to come home,
I clean up.
Boy, do I love cleaning up!
It's all I do, all day long!
What about me? No one cares?
-Are you listening?
-It's all I'm doing!
What did I just say?
Just now?
Something about the house...
Tonight,
you're going to listen to me!
-What a mood! Are you on your...?
-No!
I'm on my last leg!
I don't see why. You have
a pleasant life, lots of money...
Right, the money you give me.
But that money isn't just for me.
It's for the house, the kids,
dinner when you come home,
little man!
You use it, don't you?
I work as hard as you do, old man!
You can't compare my responsibilities
at work with what you do,
pushing buttons on
the washing machine I bought you!
Fine, I leave you
to your responsibilities,
your big house, washing machines,
the kids, all of it!
See ya!
Annie?
Annie, stop fooling around!
I'm sick of this!
This life is suffocating me!
I need fresh air!
I'm tired of being
the perfect housewife!
Goddamn it!
I'm fed up. I can't take it anymore!
I'm sick of staying home alone
with fancy pots and pans!
"Well, hello!
How are you doing, Mrs. Blender?"
"What a surprise
to see you here, Mr. Clean!"
-Get back inside!
-No!
Yes! You'll wake up
the whole neighborhood!
I don't care!
Do you know
how many meals I've made
during 15 years of marriage?
That's 16,425 meals! And earlier...
Alcohol strikes again.
I'm so sick of being
clean, elegant, well-dressed,
all dolled up,
polite, smiling, like a monkey!
It's disgusting!
That's enough now!
I order you to come inside!
The boss is giving orders!
Don't talk to me like a I'm a child.
Before I met you,
I was a big journalist.
I did reports all around the world!
Help!
But what am I now?
Plain, old Mrs. Larcher!
I'm sick of being Mrs. Larcher,
the wife of a shitty CEO!
-I want to be me! Just me!
-Yeah, yeah.
-I want to be me!
-You've gone completely nuts.
Maybe I really am nuts.
I'm so embarrassed.
I should be happy,
but I'm not.
I quit my job for a guy,
had some kids...
I thought I'd be happy.
Maybe I've just become
a melancholic middle-class woman.
It's not working out anymore.
I have to do something about this.
It feels like
life is just passing me by.
What should I do, Doctor?
To ask a question is to answer it.
-Any news?
-Not yet.
-I can't wait any longer!
-Come quick!
Come on, hurry up!
There's no one here?
A new-born baby... This is urgent!
There's no one here!
-Can I help?
-A baby's being born in my cab!
Emergency in the main hall.
-The nurse is on her way.
-Good.
I can't stand that stuff.
Anything but that!
The last time
a woman gave birth in my cab,
I passed out!
I don't know how
you women handle giving birth.
We have no choice!
I wish my wife gave birth
in our car! It's been 12 hours!
I can't take it anymore!
-Go to the annex.
-What annex?
-The café outside. Get a drink.
-Thanks.
There you are! Pay up now.
This is not a good time!
"Not a good time"?
You're not giving birth.
Come with me, ma'am.
-Coming, Charlotte.
-Thanks.
Hey! My change.
Not in a hurry now, are you?
-Here.
-Thanks.
Hey, where's my tip?
CLINIC
DOCTOR
Hey, you! You're not allowed
to use your husband's sign.
-I'm the doctor.
-Show me your ID.
I have patients!
-Show me your ID!
-Hey, now!
Instead of wasting my time,
go get your liver checked.
You look sick, honey.
Well, she's not wrong.
Hello, darling.
Settling in all right?
-Great.
-Thanks for getting me this job.
You'll thank me
after your thousandth birth.
-Where's the patient list?
-Here. Not very many today.
-Wait! Margot Duval, that'll be fun!
-Why is that?
She pushes again and again,
then nothing. Just a bubble.
-A bubble?
-Yes!
Hello? It's for you.
Mrs. Pierson wants to talk to you.
She's such a pain! Tell her I'm
in the Caribbean for an emergency.
-Yes, sir?
-It's for Mrs. Vandermaken.
-First floor, room 207.
-Thank you.
That's the fifth one this morning.
We don't have any vases left.
Great, they'll steal
my urine pots again.
Hello?
-What do you think?
-Well...
-And this one?
-Meh...
You'd dare to wear those?
I make them. I don't wear them.
We need to decide soon
if we want to be ready for summer.
Come in!
-The workshop reports, Mr. Director.
-Thanks, Alice.
-I have a last name, Mr. Director.
-Come on, Alice...
Fine. Ms. Roleau,
I can tell you want
to ask me something else.
No, Mr. Director.
I won't ask, I'll demand.
At the next meeting,
my colleagues and I will demand
a day-care center
for mothers who work here.
Listen, Ms. Roleau,
in three years
as head of the staff committee,
I've given you
a coffee break at 10:00 a.m.,
another break at 4:00 p.m.,
workshop blouses, showers,
a canteen with healthy food,
not to mention
the salary increase, of course.
All that was very expensive.
How could we afford
a day-care center?
You'd rather have us strike?
Come on now.
Let's not get carried away.
Fine... I'll examine your request,
and we'll talk about it.
Don't worry. We will talk about it.
Wait, don't go yet.
Since you're here, what do you think
of the new summer collection?
It's not my problem, Mr. Director.
For the love of God!
Can you stop acting
like a staff representative
and behave like a human being?
Alice?
Since you're asking...
Your glasses are corny...
Jean-Pierre.
Damn women...
You're telling me!
They're up to
all kinds of things now.
-Do you still see your ex?
-Yes, every two weeks,
when I pick up my kid.
She's been over the moon
since we divorced.
Apparently, she's blossoming.
-She's not seeing anyone.
-Really?
Not a single person.
Incredible.
-Is Annie doing better?
-Yeah.
She found a little job
as a receptionist about a month ago.
I thought
she used to be a journalist.
Yeah, vaguely.
She couldn't find anything, so...
This job keeps her nice and busy.
This is the last time!
I won't go through this again.
You don't know how this feels!
Montsegur Clinic.
Yes, I'll connect you to room 17.
We predict five births tonight.
Why are they all
getting knocked up? I'm not!
Montsegur Clinic.
Mrs. Tellant, please.
I'm Mrs. Tellant's mother.
You know, the triplets.
First floor, room 19, ma'am.
Oh my God, three at once!
It's fun, isn't it?
Just throw two of them away.
And another!
That's six births tonight.
Another messy night
on my shift, of course.
-Montsegur.
-What about pills?
-Mrs. Lola?
-They don't take any?
The line is busy, sir, please hold.
I don't know how many are fathers,
but the phone's busy!
-I'm in a hurry. See you tomorrow.
-Bye.
First floor, room 107!
-Still no news?
-Sorry!
-He doesn't want to see me?
-Better ask him.
DRY CLEANING IN ONE HOUR
ORANGE-LABEL PRODUCTS
Honestly!
I've organized this pile
six times today!
I'm fed up!
POTATOES
This checkout's closed.
Shit! How do I get out now?
I'm late, sorry.
-Annie.
-Good evening, Vincent.
Honey, is it OK
if Vincent joins us for dinner?
We have
important decisions to make.
Sure, I'm delighted.
Please don't
go out of your way for me.
Just some cold meats...
We don't have any.
I'll think of something!
Mom, can you help?
I don't get this exercise.
-I don't have time.
-No one has time around here!
-What do you think?
-They're so corny!
"Corny"? What does that mean?
-No one's helping me here!
-Yeah, yeah.
This food is delicious.
-It's orange duck.
-Yes, it's delicious. Well done.
-It was frozen.
-Really? They do that now?
-It smells like oranges.
-It's made with real ones.
Yes, but it has chemicals.
Those cause cancer.
Shit! Holy shit!
What's the matter?
It's the dishwasher again!
It's clogged up!
Again?
Help me!
These damn machines,
always breaking down.
I wonder if we weren't happier
before machines,
when we'd do everything
ourselves, by hand,
without all that stuff.
Sure.
Shit, shit, shit!
You piece of shit! Stupid machine!
Hello? Plumber Express?
Mrs. Becker's file.
Hello, Plumber Express?
Are you still there?
My washing machine's broken.
Could you come over?
I need the machine's brand name,
serial number, and year.
The brand? Well, it's a...
Another one who doesn't know
the brand or serial number.
Madam, the number
is on the bottom, on the right. Yes.
But I'm not at home!
Darn! Please hold!
Hello, Montsegur Clinic.
Ma'am, I have labor pains
every five and a half minutes.
What do I do?
Come here quick!
"Come here quick"?
Madam, I can't come quick
until I have the serial number!
That's not hard to understand, is it?
I need the machine's number!
-Don't get upset. It's bad for you.
-I'm not getting upset!
You're making me upset
by telling not to get upset!
What are you feeding me?
Merguez sausages?
Merguez, really?
I can't believe this!
Where do you buy these damn things?
You're buying this on purpose!
Is that beef?
They've been waiting for eight days.
"Waiting for eight days"!
-You think you're my only client?
-Hey! Calm down!
-I had emergencies!
-I'm just the neighbor.
-I keep the keys to help.
-I'm helping too.
I have clients begging to see me.
So, where are we doing this?
-In the kitchen!
-"The kitchen"? Well, where is it?
Am I the architect?
Did I build this house, or what?
This is off to a bad start,
a very bad start!
I knew it. I knew it!
-What?
-It's American.
-So what?
-"So what"? It's a pain.
That machine is a pain!
I can confirm: it's a pain!
I don't understand what you're saying
about multinationals.
A multinational
is a machine like yours.
But for your machine,
I'll have to order
a part from Germany,
from a factory that works
under an American license.
They don't always
have parts available.
They can't just wait for a call.
So, they have to contact
their branches in Brussels, London,
or even Norway!
By the time that part arrives here...
It'll take... Exactly. Yes.
Shit, my washing machine
is broken for the next two months.
Mrs. Bandermarken, please.
-First floor, room 207.
-Thank you, ma'am.
What's up with this guy?
She'll get a shock seeing him!
Good thing
she's already had her baby!
-What does she do with the flowers?
-She eats them.
-Want to join me for coffee?
-Sure.
Catherine,
could you cover for me for a bit?
Isn't it tough to do everything?
Work and home.
Sometimes.
-Did you find a maid?
-Yes, two hours in the morning.
What about the kids?
They're grown up now.
They can handle being alone.
Better than with me.
She's really great.
-Are you sure it's a girl?
-Yeah.
-How can you tell?
-I just know.
-I'll give you 20 francs for her.
-Twenty? You're nuts!
-Twenty, plus my plastic sleeve.
-Your sneakers.
What? They're new!
What will my mom say?
Tell her you lost them.
I already told her
I lost my watch and jacket.
She'll get suspicious.
You can't touch Dad's stereo!
-If you talk, I talk.
-Moron!
I've asked to see you because
Julien is falling behind lately.
If this goes on,
he'll have to repeat the year.
You have to keep an eye
on his homework.
I can't. I work in the evening.
Really? When did you start?
About three months ago.
That explains it.
In that case, we'll make him
do tests with the psychologist.
Oh, right... That's good.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Mrs. Larcher.
Mrs. Larcher,
do you get along with your husband?
Yes. Why?
Why can't that woman
mind her own business?
-Of course, we get along.
-Do we?
What do you mean, "do we"?
Do you want me
to prove it to you right now?
Music?
-They touched my stereo again!
-No.
-Yes!
-No, they didn't.
-I swear they touched it.
-So what? Just leave it.
-It's fine.
-I can't stand that!
Who cares?
It's not important.
Right? It's not important.
Is it more important?
Or less important?
-I need money for the canteen.
-Again?
I eat every day, you know?
Mom! We're out of toothpaste!
Shit. Check in the cabinet!
It's not mint-flavored.
I don't like it!
I haven't slept all night.
That didn't stop you
from snoring, honey!
The government has decided
to face the recent price hike.
-The prime minister...
-Hear that?
You fall asleep reading about morons.
You wake up to them too!
No coffee this morning?
Yes, like every morning
for the past 15 years.
-Mom, I need new gym sneakers.
-Again?
-They wear out.
-Fine, we'll go on Saturday.
I have gym tomorrow.
Right... We'll go tonight then.
I don't have time for this.
Shit, I'm late.
Bye.
You'll clean up, of course.
Mom!
I need to talk to you.
Now? I'm already late!
What's wrong?
Get in. I'll drive you to school.
I don't get it. Who's this Marc?
-Marc is Marc.
-Right...
-What did he do?
-He gave a bracelet to Catherine.
-That's not so bad.
-Yes, it is.
It's a token, you see?
It's to make you jealous.
-You think?
-Sure!
Do you believe me?
Listen, if you have any troubles,
come talk to me.
It's not easy.
You're always busy. Bye.
Annie, where's my gray suit?
Still at the dry cleaner's?
Mom! You didn't give us
our allowance this week.
The other kids get more than we do.
Mom, I need blue skis
and some moonboots.
Annie, what's for dinner?
Not spinach, right?
We never get fries in this house.
I can't find it!
What do you want from me?
I know you're social security,
but I can't find anything!
I'll call you back later.
I think that's best. All right.
You're late!
I have to do some shopping
-on my lunch break.
-You never take a break!
You don't sleep,
eat, or drink! Never!
I swear...
Yes?
Montsegur Clinic, I'm listening.
Annie, don't forget
to go to the bank!
Hey, Mom, don't forget
the parent-teacher conference.
I don't have the part
for the washing machine.
I told you, buy French products!
Mom, my friends buy their jeans
at flea markets. Can we go?
Annie, who took my black socks?
This is madness!
Mom, my bike's
making a weird noise.
-There you are! You're late too.
-The stores were crowded.
I don't care.
Room 12 is a Caesarean.
Room 27 is twins.
A woman called saying
she's arriving 15 days early,
but no beds are free.
Sort it out, old girl. See ya.
-Well?
-It's a boy!
Congratulations!
-What are the others like?
-Others?
Babies.
They're awful, hideous,
all red and wrinkly.
But they grow out of it.
Really? Thanks, ma'am.
-I'll drop you off after we're done.
-Thank you.
All right, gentlemen,
we can get started.
I don't know if you've met
Ms. Karin Lafitte.
-She manages Optimiste Optique.
-Hello.
It's our best sales outlet.
I've asked her here today
to help us establish
the offer for the next collection.
I'll pass you to him.
It's your wife.
Excuse me.
Hello?
What?
Could you buy some bread tonight?
Yes, bread.
You know I'm busy!
I know, but I was asked
to work a bit late.
The bakeries will be closed.
Just pick up a baguette, OK?
Sure, sure...
Paper, please.
And flour too.
I promised the kids I'd make crepes.
All right.
I'll handle it.
Right, so...
Sorry.
I'll be quick,
I'm out of cigarettes.
-I have some.
-Well, I need cigars too...
Really?
CAFE, BAR, TOBACCO
BAKERY
A baguette, please.
Thank you.
And some flour.
-Shall I cut it in half?
-Yes, please.
Thank you.
-How much?
-That's 3.65.
Thank you, ma'am.
One round loaf, please.
-This place has good cigars.
-They leave lots of crumbs!
Hello, Montsegur Clinic?
I have labor pains
every six minutes. What do I do?
Hello, ma'am? Do you know
if Mrs. Benlarbi gave birth yet?
Hello? Montsegur Clinic?
Can you tell me if the baby
in room 629 is a boy or a girl?
Well... This makes you fall asleep?
No, not at all.
Sorry, I'm a bit tired tonight.
I didn't think you were tired.
It's weird. You seem miles away.
Not at all. I'm right here.
Montsegur Clinic?
I've been waiting for an hour!
I'm not the mom of room 12.
I'm the grandma of room 46!
Montsegur Clinic?
My wife isn't home.
What should I put
in the baby's bottle?
You're really absent tonight.
Are you cheating on me?
What did he just say?
Honey!
It's so nice to know that
you remember my phone number
only when you need me.
Mom, since I got the job,
I don't have any free time!
I'm not criticizing you, honey.
I just feel very lonely, that's all.
Yes, Mom. Speaking of which...
One second.
Montsegur Clinic. Please hold.
I wanted to ask you to come
Saturday to watch the kids.
I have to work that day.
I'm so sorry, my dear girl,
but on Saturday,
I'm going to a protest walk
at the nuclear plant...
-Fessenheim.
-Fessen... what?
-Fessenheim.
-Fessenheim!
I'm really sorry.
But isn't your husband
home on Saturday?
Dad? Ready to go?
-Can we go get my boots?
-What?
Mom said that since it's Saturday,
we should go buy my boots.
-"Boots"?
-Yes, boots. You know, shoes!
-Right now?
-It's 9:00 a.m., come on!
Since we're here,
didn't you need new shoes too?
No, but could you give me 20 francs
as an advance
for my next allowance?
Didn't I give it
to you the other day?
For the next one, then.
-Here.
-Thanks, Dad.
Come on.
No, I want red boots
with heels this big.
Are you crazy?
You're not wearing heels at your age.
-The girls in my class do.
-It's not my fault they're so silly,
and it's bad for your spine. Right?
Not at all! I wear them too.
Well, maybe,
but you might sprain an ankle.
No, Olivia,
it's out of the question.
I'd like 20 francs' worth.
What are you doing?
Sending them back to the river.
Coming, moron?
Do you have any kids?
You sure are lucky!
This is my first.
Stop there, if you can.
That must be for me!
Ma'am?
Still nothing for me, ma'am?
The wait is so long...
Especially for your wife!
Yes. Thank you.
Hello, is that you?
So, how's it going?
It's going well?
Very well!
Why wouldn't it be going well?
Sorry, I have to hang up.
I'm very busy.
Kids, come and help me!
I can't. I'm cleaning my room!
To open the oven,
turn the right button to zero.
Hang on.
Hello, Montsegur Clinic.
Please hold.
Are you there?
OK, next, press
the fourth button from the right
all the way in. Got it?
-Wait.
-The doctor, please.
-Please wait there, ma'am.
-Really?
Yes. The door does
get stuck sometimes.
You know what you do now?
Lift it up, one big push. Bam! OK?
Good. You can do it, dear!
Hi, Dad.
I'm leaving now.
Leaving? Without having lunch?
-I'm going to Catherine's.
-Catherine who?
Just Catherine. Mom knows her.
She said I could go.
Really?
Wait, what did you do to your face?
Me? Nothing. See ya.
-No sauce?
-No!
-No fries either?
-Only chips.
Where did you get these from?
They taste like plastic!
Mom always has
sauce and fries with chicken.
Your mom's not here.
She's working today.
Aren't you worried
this'll make us sick?
-You're still having lunch?
-I had to fix the oven.
Everything's broken in this house.
Have a seat.
-Hello, Marlène.
-Hello, Jean-Pierre.
Are you OK?
Don't pee in your pants, OK?
She was such a pain
at the restaurant.
She refused to eat
all the food she ordered.
Do you want some apple pie?
Don't you want some?
I want a chocolate éclair.
-Do you have any?
-No.
But I assure you,
the apple pie is really good.
It's very good! Very yummy!
Shit, just forget it.
-Eat up, you!
-I don't want any more.
Maybe Marlène could go play
in Julien's room?
That's a good idea.
Julien, go with her.
-What about my pie?
-You'll get some later!
-Kids are a real pain in the ass!
-Well...
-Where do I put this?
-Just wait two seconds.
Hey, your daughter's doing well.
What do you mean?
I saw her with a boy in the street.
He seems like a nice guy.
A boy?
Quick, come see!
Marlène!
My baby hamsters
are great, aren't they?
Lucky you!
This the sleeve
of my tweed jacket!
Come here.
-You weren't using it, so...
-I'm sick of this!
Get rid of all this.
I don't want
another animal here, got it?
-What's wrong?
-It's raining! It's raining!
I've ordered
150,000 pairs of sunglasses,
and it's raining. We're ruined.
I'll get you a glass
of orange blossom water.
Julien?
Julien?
MOM
Dear Mom, I'm leaving.
I don't want to live with Dad
anymore, and you're never around.
But don't worry, I'm not in danger.
My animals and I
will go live in the forest.
I took my sleeping bag
and coat with me.
Give Olivia all my marker pens.
Big kisses, Mom.
Jean-Pierre!
-See that?
-Yeah, it's a kid.
At this hour? It's not normal.
Stop the car!
No way! We'd get into a mess
with his parents and the police.
No, you didn't wake me up.
You know I can
never sleep a wink, honey.
I haven't heard from him. Why?
Mom, he's gone!
We're worried sick!
Please, calm down.
What are you doing
out here at night?
It's my bike... Flat tire.
-Can I get a ride?
-Fine, go get your bike.
Age: 11 years old.
Height: five feet.
Supposedly carrying two baskets
on a white bike. Stop.
My mom works all day long now,
just like my dad.
That doesn't mean
they don't love you.
But my dad wanted
to throw Sido away.
Who's Sido?
Oh my God!
You're right on time!
In my truck, it's this big!
I didn't think twice.
He's just a kid with baskets!
All I wanted to do
was help him out!
-But he's got a snake!
-A snake?
You know, a cobra, a python,
I don't know what. A snake!
The one snaking here
is your truck on the road!
I realized
it wasn't possible anymore.
They all need me too much.
I have to be there for them.
In the modern world, being there
is the most precious gift
we can give others.
At least, I think so.
So, I quit my job at the clinic,
and I'll try working from home.
I'll write a few articles,
left or right.
I was a pretty good journalist,
you know?
Or maybe a book.
It might be good for me
to write a book.
Don't you think so?
I have to do something...
or I'll just die.
Do you understand?
I'll die, Doctor!
"The three young women sat
and had a lively discussion.
"Mahina waved around
the book she'd found
"in a collapsed pile
near the Italian percolator.
"Angles said,
"'Marriage doesn't enter history as
the reconciliation of man and woman,
"'even less so as the supreme power
of marriage. On the contrary,
"'it appeared as the subjection
of one sex to the other,
"'like the proclamation
of a conflict...'"
You're not interested?
Are you crazy? This is fascinating.
You were yawning.
No, I'm just a bit tired,
got things on my mind...
and the hot June weather...
Keep going.
-Are you sure?
-Go on.
-Do you think it's any good?
-It's terrific.
I think you wrote a terrific novel.
Do you like the title?
-The Slumbering Woman.
-Yeah, not bad.
Keep reading.
"Pauline nodded.
"'I didn't know
that chauvinist Angles
"'had said such reasonable things.'"
"'Angles wasn't a chauvinist',
"said Mahina
in her passionate activist voice.
"Stéphanie giggled,
"'All men are chauvinists.
"'You just have chauvinists
from the left or right wing...'"
OPTICIAN
You see? What I told you
on the phone is true.
Your new winter sports model,
"Sun on the Snow",
doesn't fit in its case.
-That's impossible.
-It's true!
If you don't do things yourself...
I'll find the moron
at the factory who did this!
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
It's a good thing you're here.
THE SLUMBERING WOMAN
And for you, sir?
-What can I get you?
-What? Anything you want.
-Anything in particular?
-I don't know, beer!
-Draught, bottle, French, foreign?
-I don't know. I don't care.
Pale ale? Bitter?
Expensive or cheap?
Expensive and pale.
Now leave me alone!
Is that you? Yes, it's him!
-Where did you find this?
-The butcher's.
It's out already?
I didn't get any copies!
You could have warned me.
That would have been nice, right?
Well excuse me.
I tried telling you twice,
but you didn't listen.
With what's going on at work,
you're not yourself lately.
It's ridiculous that
I had to buy the book written
by my own wife!
Forgive me.
I didn't think you'd be interested.
-Why wouldn't I be?
-I don't know...
I just didn't want to bother you.
Give me a hand here.
-Did you read it?
-I had a quick look.
Is it good?
Sure, it's good overall,
but well, I'm really surprised.
Surprised? Why?
-Some scenes were a bit...
-A bit what?
I don't know... erotic.
-So what?
-"So what"? What will people think?
It's not an autobiography!
People will wonder
where you get those ideas!
"People"? What people?
Your mom can't read!
The neighbor
hiding behind her hedge?
Vincent, who's always
so focused on his reports?
I don't give a shit!
No one will read
this damn book anyway, so...
Well, I did read it!
And I didn't like it!
Well, I'm sick and tired!
Every time
I do something here, it's bad!
I'm sick of it!
The complaints office again.
This book isn't that bad.
It's good, actually.
It's just that...
I wasn't expecting this.
I'm proud of you.
Come on, now.
That's the factory looking for me.
Go tell them I'm not here,
too bad for them.
Hello? Yes, that's me.
Hello!
-It's my agent!
-Your agent?
Yes, for my contracts.
Yes! I did see it.
An agent?
Thank you. I'm thrilled!
Who is this guy, anyway?
-Got any cash?
-It's my treat.
DRINKS
The staff committee is a pain,
but thanks to us, there's hot coffee.
Would you look at this...
Look at this... piece of shit!
At the price we pay,
this damn thing could at least work!
It took 15 days to install
this thing. Look at that.
-I give up.
-Yeah.
There it is!
Well, wouldn't you know?
-Nice and simple!
-What a waste. Just look at that.
It's doing this on purpose!
Wait, let me try.
Calm down. One coffee, there.
You have to take it gently.
You don't know how to talk to it.
See? There we go.
Here you go, friend.
-Damn, that's hot!
-OK, one coffee.
There.
There we go.
Say, your wife's novel isn't bad.
It's terrific. She's got talent.
-Yeah, she's good at it.
-Yes, so are you.
-What do you mean?
-Well, some scenes are...
No! I don't know what you mean.
What the hell is this coffee?
It's hot chocolate.
I'm throwing this out.
-Yes, sir?
-Cigarettes, please.
Aren't you the husband
of the woman who wrote that book?
-Yes.
-I recognized her on the cover.
Bravo! Makes you wonder
where she gets those ideas!
Yes, sure makes you wonder!
This is for you.
What's this?
No way, a digital watch!
That's fabulous!
-Are you happy?
-You bet! I've been dreaming of one.
You went overboard!
It must have cost a fortune.
-My editor's first check.
-You shouldn't have!
Do you know my book's doing well?
Really?
Thank you.
-How do I put this on?
-Like this.
Push it there, and let go.
-You've got to be kidding me!
-What can we do?
-Such an expensive watch!
-What am I supposed to do?
Careful.
-Did it have a warranty?
-I'm sure it did,
but not for this!
They won't believe me!
-Is it waterproof?
-It looks like a grasshopper!
It's not sauce-proof!
What are you doing?
I prepared a review
of articles on Mrs. Larcher.
Is that so?
They're talking about her everywhere.
It's great!
Yes, well...
Any news about our model,
"Sun on the Snow"?
I haven't had time for that.
May I remind you
you're my secretary, not my wife's!
Yes, sir.
It's not improving much.
The wind's blowing today...
Pass me the salt.
Rain covering the west
and the Paris Basin.
Watch what you're doing!
... leaving the area
flooded once again.
And finally,
Claude's guest today is...
It's Mom!
And now, the book of the month,
the revelation of the season,
Annie Larcher's The Slumbering Woman,
published by Flammarion.
Annie Larcher, your heroine seems
to be making a cry for revolt
against the middle-class society.
What are you doing on TV?
It's a short interview
I did yesterday.
You could warn me
when you do things!
-I didn't know they'd air it today.
-You could at least tell me!
Honey, do you ever warn me when
you present new glasses to the press?
-It's not the same!
-Why not?
Honestly! I'm your husband!
-...in my book.
-Tell us everything, Annie Larcher.
-Yes?
-I have your mother on line two.
Thank you.
-Hello, Mom?
-Hello, darling!
-We saw Annie on TV!
-Yes.
-You weren't on TV.
-No, because I work!
Is that all you have to say?
Bye, Mom!
Come in!
What the hell is that?
Books.
Some colleagues would like
Mrs. Larcher to sign them.
They'd like to know if
Mrs. Larcher could give a conference
on the circumstances of women
in a world made for men.
-And you're asking me?
-You're her husband, aren't you?
I'll talk to her about it.
She'll be thrilled.
However, I must warn you
that despite this friendly exchange,
the day-care center strike notice
will still expire in five days.
I'm sick of this.
Damn women in the factory,
at home, in the street,
in traffic jams, on the radio,
on the phone! I'm sick of it!
I've had it! No more damn women!
I want to be
surrounded only by men!
From now on,
we'll only hire men here!
Mr. Larcher,
you're not being reasonable.
If you hired only men,
you'd have to pay a normal wage.
That's 20% more than we get!
I feel like I'm not the boss anymore.
I matter less and less...
I've become my wife's husband!
-She offers me expensive watches.
-I see.
-I feel overwhelmed.
-Of course.
All these women,
always watching us,
eating us up, mocking us!
In my factory, my office,
my bedroom, women everywhere!
-I can't take it anymore!
-What about me?
All day long,
all I see is women lying there,
with their womanly problems!
I haven't seen a male patient in...
What can we do?
Nothing, sir.
We're all doomed, sir.
That'll be 500 francs, sir.
Finally!
Hey, I do what I can!
I can't just...
Ever since you fixed
the washing machine,
it's been running well.
Then what are you
bothering me for? You're nuts!
It's running. Running away.
"Running away"?
It ran through the kitchen,
ripped off pipes, flooded the cellar.
What's this about?
Are we in Frankenstein?
Mrs. Larcher isn't here?
She had to go out,
but you know the way.
Yes, thank God for that!
I could end up living here!
Hey, be careful.
The stairs are slippery!
Where did they hide
the light switch in this house?
You've got to be kidding!
Shit!
Who would put a cellar here?
They did that on purpose!
On purpose, I swear!
What a shitty job!
I can't believe this!
I'm sick of this goddamn house!
Sick and tired!
This isn't a flood.
I need a damn boat here!
You've got to be kidding!
Annie?
It's your dear editor!
Where are you?
Shit! Damn this rotten thing!
Piece of shit!
Mr. Rossy?
He slipped in the cellar.
And so did I!
Are you hurt?
-No, but I'm bruised all over.
-Sit down.
-There. Is that better?
-Yes, thank you.
Well done with the flooding!
What's worse is
the TV crew are on their way!
Look at the state I'm in!
My suit is drenched!
I'll find something. I'm sure
you'll fit in my husband's clothes.
I'll just catch a cold. No one cares!
The worker doesn't count!
...let's unite to prove our strength!
-What are they up to?
-A protest.
A protest?
Comrades,
it's time we say, "Enough!"
We've been asking
for a day-care center for a year!
Day-care center!
They want to ignore our problems,
not just as working women,
but as mothers!
It's time we remind them
that the presence of our kids
here will help us!
Yeah!
It's not normal for...
-Is this racket going to last long?
-Until we give in.
...unused conference rooms...
Annie, it's great!
You have five votes,
and Weber has four
and one non-vote!
You're sure to get it!
I'm listening!
I'll stay on the line!
Keep me up-to-date!
Thank you! I'm still here!
OK, let's roll camera.
-So, what now?
-We'll see.
-All right, then...
-We can't stay here all day!
Start on me with a close-up.
Then, we'll pan over to her. There.
What do you mean,
"He doesn't like Annie Larcher"?
Tell him I'll edit his next one
if he joins us.
Yes. With a huge advance too!
Rolling.
Larcher, Women's Prize, take one.
Dear friends, tonight,
I'm presenting to you
exclusively, on FR4,
the female prize-winner,
Annie Larcher.
Annie Larcher...
Shit! Cut!
-Who's that?
-Just my husband.
You're home?
Just ask the butler!
You know that...
Is this a bad time?
Not at all.
I wasn't expecting you so early.
I came home to study
an important file in peace and quiet.
You're the husband?
That's not how I pictured you.
Doesn't matter. Sit down.
Let's start over with him.
Can you tell me what's going on?
Honey, it turns out
I might get the women's prize!
-You?
-Yes, me!
We got the women's prize!
-I got it!
-Perfect!
We'll finish with the TV crew
and come right over!
My dear friend,
my latest find, well done!
I'm so proud and happy
for you, for me, for us!
You know my husband.
This is my editor, Mr. Rossy.
-Hello.
-Hello, my friend. What a moment!
Yes. Funny,
we have the same jacket.
It's your jacket.
I'll get the tape printed right away!
Are we doing this or not?
Women's prize or not,
I'm out of here by 6:00 p.m.
Hey... OK, let's do this.
Sit on the sofa with Annie,
-one on each side.
-No, I...
Please, we're running out of time.
-Is everyone ready?
-Sit down. Just wait.
I am waiting.
Zoom in on me.
What's this moron doing
wearing my jacket?
He slipped in the cellar.
I'll explain later.
I sure hope so!
Why was he in the cellar?
Silence, please!
-Can we start or not?
-Go ahead.
-Camera.
-Rolling!
Go!
Larcher, Women's Prize, take two.
You OK?
-My son, Julien.
-Very nice.
You had your family reunion?
Are you ready?
Can we start now?
Go sit down there
next to the lady. Good boy.
-What's your coat made of?
-Wolf fur.
-Assassin!
-Excuse me?
Sorry, my son is on the committee
for the protection of wolves.
How charming.
This is just from an old wolf
who died of old age in a zoo.
He left me his fur.
She thinks I'm an idiot.
Go to your room with Olivia
and leave us alone.
Sorry about that.
If we keep going at this pace,
there's no point starting.
How do I start again? I forgot.
Annie Larcher and
the two men in her life.
Here, we have Annie Larcher
and the two men in her life:
her editor and her husband.
Mr. Larcher, what's it like to be
the husband of a famous woman?
Well...
-Hello, Jean-Pierre? Guess what?
-This is perfect!
They found a place
for the day-care center.
Come in! This is the boss' office.
Don't be afraid, come in!
Mrs. Adeline,
sit down with your baby.
Yes, take your coats off.
Find a spot for the coats.
What? In my office?
Get some shots of the house.
Listen, I'd rather avoid
going to the factory now.
I'll just get pissed off.
-Will this take much longer?
-Two minutes.
I have to call New York
urgently to warn them.
Vincent,
I'll let you handle all that.
Thanks.
You're calling New York?
-Don't worry. I'll pay you back.
-It's out of the question!
I make calls to New York
for my work too, sometimes.
Really? What do you do again?
Annie told me, but I forgot.
-I make glasses.
-That's fun.
Hello, Murray? We got it!
Yes! I am very glad!
And Mr. Larcher is too!
Everybody's very glad!
It's the best day of my life!
I hope it's a best-seller!
Goodbye!
Are you OK?
Do you want a drink?
Mrs. Larcher, I fixed the leak,
but I don't have
the washing machine part.
I did warn you:
you have to buy French products!
-You have a buffet?
-Yes. Want a drink?
By all means! I may be a worker,
but I still get thirsty.
I can imagine
the look on Gallimard's face!
Well, we better get going.
Thank you.
-Bravo again. Bye.
-Goodbye.
-Ready to go?
-We should get going too.
Where to?
The prize's cocktail party!
They're waiting for us.
-Should I go?
-Of course!
-I should go change then.
-Yes!
You go ahead. I'll catch up.
You swear you'll come?
I don't want to lose this prize.
Promise? See you there!
Watch out, that kid
is eating your mail! Spit that out!
What is the meaning of all this?
What are you doing?
What the hell is this?
We're setting up a place for cribs.
Cribs?
Babies need to take naps,
Mr. Assistant Director!
Naps...
They filmed me too.
I didn't let them.
That'll teach them to wear fur coats.
-Where's Dad?
-Gone.
-"Gone"? Where to?
-I don't know.
The phone. Pass me the phone.
Where is the phone?
Here you go, here's the phone.
Hello? Yes?
Annie, it's you!
Yes. No, no.
Jean-Pierre isn't here.
Although I sure could use his help!
Ma'am! This baby...
this baby is peeing.
Babies need to pee too,
Mr. Assistant Director!
Hello? Yes...
Annie, if only
that were our only problem!
Mom! Look at what Dad brought home!
I've lost my home,
so I rented a new one.
-And my office too.
-What are you talking about?
I won't take any more baths
in front of TV cameras!
-Are you nuts?
-No,
I'm disgusted
and have been evicted by morons!
Now, ma'am, please let me through.
I'll make myself at home!
Kids, get out.
Go do your homework!
Be nice and tidy up
once you're done eating.
-Can we stay in Dad's truck?
-On Sundays.
Good.
Good evening.
Off to a costume party?
May I remind you
I got the women's prize
and I must go to a cocktail party.
I know, you don't care,
but can you move your thingy
so I can get my car out?
I can't.
I put the block wedges in.
That's OK. I'll get a cab.
Would it be too much to ask you
to keep an eye on your kids? Thanks.
The door!
If we don't find a solution,
they'll do it again on Wednesday!
All right, all right,
let's start from scratch.
We can put
the accountant's office
-in the cloakroom.
-Right.
The cloakroom would go
in the soldering workshop,
the workshop in the storage room...
-Where do the kids go?
-In the accountant's office,
which goes in the cloakroom.
Mr. Director, I've already
told you three times today:
I refuse to go in the cloakroom.
Listen, please be reasonable.
No office? Then no reports!
You deal with the tax authorities.
-Is that blackmail?
-It sure is!
You handle this.
Let's see you try.
Today, on Ladies of Brussels,
we have two events
in the library section.
Mrs. Annie Larcher,
women's prize-winner,
is autographing her book
The Slumbering Woman.
I'm next! It's my turn!
Please sign it
to Mrs. Vandermaterbult.
How do you spell that?
The way it's pronounced.
She's from Paris.
She doesn't know how to spell it.
Please write it out
on this sheet of paper.
Of course, sir, my pleasure.
For me, you can write,
"To Kitten".
I really love your books.
-This is my first one.
-Wait, you're not Françoise Dorin?
No, sorry.
They gave me the wrong directions.
I can't believe this.
Here's how you spell it.
What's this woman selling?
-Books, I think.
-Meh!
Can I call Paris now?
-I'll go set up a call.
-Thank you, ma'am.
Could you write, "To my best friend
at Molière School"?
You don't remember me?
My nickname was "Crumb Collector"!
Crumb Collector!
How have you been?
I'm not as successful as you.
I married a Belgian, got eight kids.
So what? That's great!
-I've got your call to Paris.
-I'll be right there.
-Can you wait?
-Sure.
Step right up! We only have
a few large swimsuits left
in our summer sale!
Hello, Mom? How are you?
Are the kids behaving?
Good. Is the big guy
still locked up in his shack?
Still no word from him?
Yes, actually! I had the pleasure
of hearing his voice.
Really? What did he say?
He called me a pain in the ass.
I'm sorry, but you know how he is.
Yes. What?
Are you insane?
Don't let me down!
I can't talk right now.
I'm in a store!
I'll come home tonight.
Don't let me down, OK?
Stay there, don't move!
See you tomorrow.
Bye, Mom. I love you.
-It's so nice to see you.
-Yes, it's wonderful.
I read that you're married.
Your husband isn't here with you?
No, he travels a lot.
He's traveling around Africa
in a caravan.
I wrote my address down
on some paper for you.
That's nice of you.
-Bye!
-See you soon.
-For Marie-José.
-And now,
this morning's main event
on Ladies of Brussels,
in the music section,
DJ Chopin will sign autographs
of his latest single!
Keeping a house clean
is so much work! All this dust,
you'd never expect it.
It keeps coming back.
You can't spend
your whole life here!
I'll stay as long as necessary.
She has journalists over
all day long.
She mocks me by telling everyone
I'm exploring Africa.
Her editor's in my house,
wearing my jacket.
So, I stay right here
on the driveway to annoy her.
And I've become an example!
It's Dad.
Tango Bravo, here.
I'm listening, over.
Hello? This is Foxtrot.
I need two bottles of wine.
In the cellar, on the right.
I repeat:
one of red wine
and one sparkling wine,
in the cellar, on the right.
Thank you. Over.
Message received.
We'll deliver right away. Over.
-I'll get going.
-Won't you have lunch with us?
"Us" who?
Tango Bravo,
mission accomplished!
Thanks, Chief!
-I invited Karine.
-Karine? From the optician's?
Yes, she's bringing me
the media report files.
-Right. On a Saturday?
-Yes, why not?
This damn thing...
She's allowed to work
on Saturdays, isn't she?
-Sure, but Annie won't like that.
-Well, I don't like her editor!
I'm not a brave man.
I'll leave before the explosion.
-See you.
-See you.
Hello?
Well, I've seen what I wanted to see.
-Your data is very convincing.
-Thank you.
-Want another drink?
-With pleasure.
Wait, I'll help you.
It's fine.
-There you go.
-Thank you.
Having an office in a van
is quite original.
Yeah, there was so much
going on at home.
-Well, with your wife's success...
-Exactly.
You always have wonderful ideas.
And such great taste!
-Stop exaggerating!
-Your latest collection proves it.
Some great ideas!
Well, I worked hard on it.
-Want my opinion?
-Sure.
You can tell!
-Really?
-Yes.
One moment. Excuse me.
-Sure.
-You have no idea
how reassuring it is
for a man like me
to meet someone
who truly understands him.
You're such a great guy.
I'm sure you know
how to treat a woman right.
No, you have much too high
of an opinion of me.
No, women are good
at knowing these things.
-Are we leaning to the side?
-Sorry?
-Aren't we leaning?
-Yes, let's lean over.
No, I think
we're actually leaning over!
Hello.
Hello!
They let you go?
-You're leaving?
-Yes.
For long?
Three days in Frankfurt
for a German TV channel.
-Who will look after the kids?
-My mom, as usual.
I could do it.
Well, that's new!
What happened?
Is your couple's camping trip over?
Come on, don't start imagining...
I'm not imagining anything,
but you disappeared for two days,
so I made other arrangements.
-You can't take that!
-Why not?
-It's too fancy!
-Mind your own business.
-I'm still your husband!
-Oh, really?
Sorry if that bothers you!
Stop acting all high and mighty!
Honestly!
Evening gowns, cocktail parties,
TV interviews, trips to Frankfurt...
That's quite a whirlwind,
you silly girl!
As for your new crowd,
your editor, your agent...
What's wrong
with my editor and my agent?
-I'd rather not talk about it.
-Fine, let's talk about you then!
I'm sick of Mr. Big CEO in
his little factory and little glasses
who's really
just a pathetic chauvinist!
-Well, there's nothing else to say.
-That's right.
I think you'll agree that the
best solution for us is to divorce.
-Absolutely.
-Fine, you asked for it!
I may be just
a pathetic, little Mr. CEO,
but you're a little frog
who wants to be as big as an ox!
Bravo!
You're quoting La Fontaine now!
I sure am!
-That's my toothpaste!
-It's mine too!
Give me that!
-Where's the cap?
-Gone.
What do I do?
Just cover the end with your thumb.
Have a nice trip, honey!
-That radio is mine.
-No, it's not.
-We bought it, but I picked it.
-I paid for it.
-How civil!
-Go to hell!
You prove my point.
Bye, Mom.
I'll call you when I arrive.
Bye, honey.
Don't worry, I'll be here.
Bye, Mrs. Pain in the Ass!
-You can't talk to her that way!
-I don't give a shit.
I'm polite with your mom!
-You know how corny she is.
-My mom isn't "corny"!
You were late.
We almost missed the plane!
Sorry, my husband showed up
at home unexpectedly.
Again? This guy's always at home!
Doesn't he have a job?
That's none of your business!
Anyway, it's ridiculous to arrive
an hour early before a flight.
You're like my grandfather.
Thanks a lot! I've heard it all
from my authors,
but I've never
been called a grandfather!
-Champagne, ma'am?
-No, thank you.
Yes, please serve her some!
Maybe it'll make her more civil!
So, she kicked you out?
Got nowhere else to go?
And your suitcase is in your trunk?
Go get it then.
Yes? Come in!
Come in!
It's the man who's
just like your grandfather.
I wanted to make sure
my favorite author was comfortable.
Yes, thank you.
Sorry about earlier, but...
things aren't great for me right now.
What's the matter?
My husband and I split up
this afternoon.
It's pretty sad.
What if I said all my authors
go through the same thing?
I'd say I don't care.
Come now, my dear.
You shouldn't get discouraged
just because of a husband who...
Well, just because of a husband...
That's nothing to be...
-Yes. What's up with you?
-Nothing, it doesn't matter!
-I just think that...
-Yes.
That was so good!
-Don't exaggerate.
-It was, I swear! You're great.
You know, I dream about you.
You're a girl
so full of talent, charm, life...
Do you say that
to all your authors?
It's not your editor speaking.
It's me as a man.
Just a simple man,
a man with experience, who says,
"Forget it all for one night,
don't fight against it,
"just give in,
let yourself be surprised..."
Oh?
Hello?
Yes.
What?
Hello?
Mom, is that you?
What's the matter?
What!
That's not possible.
All right, I'm coming.
I'll get on the next flight.
All right.
-Reception, please.
-What are you doing?
My son has to be operated
for appendicitis!
I'm going back to Paris.
Absolutely not! We're meeting
the German press tomorrow!
Didn't you hear what I said?
I have to get back to my son!
Hello, reception? Could you get me
a seat on a flight to Paris?
You expect us to take
women seriously?
Your kid sneezes,
and you drop everything!
I don't care what you think!
Yes, the next flight.
I forbid you from leaving!
I couldn't care less!
What are you doing?
I won't let you
ruin your career like this!
If you knew what I think
of my damn career!
You have no right!
You bastard!
Exploiter! Manipulator!
Don't touch me!
You feral thing! Damn whore!
That's it. I can't see anything!
-Help me!
-What's wrong?
-Help me find them.
-Find what?
My contact lenses.
Careful! Don't step on them!
This is the last time
I edit for a damn woman!
How am I expected to find
my contact lenses
when I'm not wearing any?
The French, what damn clients!
That doesn't go there.
It goes... There,
I think it goes on this side.
Don't forget my rabbit's carrots.
Make sure you grate them.
Don't worry.
Hiya!
-Hello, honey.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Are you feeling all right?
-Awesome.
-I brought you a puzzle.
-Mom did too.
Yes, I can see that.
Well, now you have two.
-When can you leave?
-I don't know.
-When can I leave?
-In two days.
In two days.
Visiting hours are over.
But I just got here!
I didn't have time for lunch.
I'm very busy!
I'm very busy too.
Everyone's very busy.
-Bye, honey.
-Bye.
Are you sad to be alone?
Not at all.
Just turn the TV on before you go.
Here.
-I don't know what to say.
-Then say nothing.
-We have things to discuss!
-Like what?
-Did you pick a lawyer?
-Mr. Tarmant.
-That's my lawyer!
-Well, mine too.
I forbid you from picking Tarmant!
He's my friend.
He came to the house so often...
Well, your house is my house too!
-He accepted?
-Yes!
-That's insane!
-Why?
Insane! He'll be hearing from me!
I'm telling you!
-You could at least say goodbye.
-Goodbye.
Honey.
-Well, kids, have you made up?
-No, Mrs. Pain in the Ass.
And we never will!
Mrs. Pain in the Ass warns you
not to count on her for babysitting!
-Are you nuts? I need you!
-I'm tired of being insulted!
But you know what he's like!
You're used to it.
I'll babysit your kids, but not his!
-When will Dad come back?
-I don't know.
That evasive ball,
and men struggling to keep control
and to control their own balance.
Look at those hard tackles,
and we wonder... Oh, my God!
...if they can get up again.
But up they get again.
Luckily for Béziers,
the best players
always keep an eye out.
For now, the score is still
at 18 to 4, proving the superior...
Do you love me?
In these conditions,
we should praise both teams
and salute Béziers' men...
We're not sitting
in front of the TV all day, are we?
... capable of surpassing themselves
to cross over their opponent's line.
These weekend sports men
are true men.
And now,
he has just grabbed the ball
and escaped Libourne's players!
He's coming out the side!
He takes a shot!
Stop it! You'll make me deaf!
-I can't hear anything.
-It's there, I swear.
It goes...
No, it's more of a...
That's normal!
Look, Mrs. Larcher,
let me tell you something:
nothing ever works at your house.
Either your foundation is rotten,
or you've been cursed,
and it's not a plumber you need,
it's an exorcist!
There you are!
Do you know what your wife did?
-My wife?
-She dared come here this afternoon!
What did she say?
I wasn't here. But look!
HONEY, WE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU,
YOUR WIFE AND KIDS
How did she get in?
She told the concierge
she was an inspector,
to exterminate rats!
And that old bitch believed her!
Are you helping me or not?
That makes you laugh, you bastard?
You still love your damn wife.
You know what you are?
A stick-in-the-mud boss
and a rotten middle-class moron!
Where are you going?
I'll send a painter tomorrow. Bye.
Damn it.
Yeah, for dinner.
Don't worry.
-Yay, it's Dad!
-I'll call you back!
-Did you watch the match?
-Yes, I did! What about you?
-Come on! Did you work hard?
-Yeah, a bit.
-You've grown.
-Really?
I have things for you in the car.
Go get them, quick!
Good evening.
Good evening.
-You idiot.
-You creep.
Bad writer.
Pathetic CEO.
Damn, rotten, piece of shit
German machinery!
The boiler just exploded.
-You can't do without me, can you?
-Alas!
Shit, shit, shit!
Damn it!
A FILM BY NICOLE DE BURON
Someone should tell her
hoop earrings aren't cool anymore.
Hey, did you hear?
Catherine wants to go out with Louis.
-Hi, honey!
-Where?
How are you?
-Who's Marc?
-Nobody.
Really? Here, this is for you.
Thanks.
I have to go.
The house has been invaded.
We'll talk about it
in math class, OK?
See ya.
Julien!
Hi! Did you have a nice day?
Sido! You lazy thing!
Bunch of morons...
They've got to be kidding.
And this other idiot's so pleased!
They're morons,
the whole lot of them.
I'll end up going broke and
making cheese in the countryside.
You OK, honey?
Good evening. Is dinner ready?
You have 15 seconds
to answer tonight's question
on our show,
If You Lose Your Head, Shake a Leg!
Who famously said,
"So much water, nothing but water"?
Christopher Columbus.
That's so wrong!
But you weren't far off.
The answer isn't an admiral...
Yes, that's right.
It's not an admiral but a marshal.
These people on TV are all morons.
I'll add 100 francs to the bank.
To continue,
you have to pedal half a mile.
-I'll try...
-Well done!
-Is it good?
-What is?
-What you're eating.
-Mm-hm.
Maybe you'll make it!
It's shit with sugar on top.
Put some muscle into it!
Come on, you can do it!
I'll encourage you.
What a bunch of ruminants
you all are!
I'm sick of this!
You'll get boiled potatoes tomorrow!
Are you all deaf?
What's gotten into you?
All I want is for you
to say "good evening" to me.
"Good evening, honey."
"Good evening, Mommy."
It's not so hard, is it?
"Good evening!"
A piece of furniture!
That's what I've become to you!
As transparent as glass.
I'm just a ghost!
It's like I don't exist!
Wait, I do exist! I'm the idiot
who does all the housework!
Do you know what my life is like?
I'm just a maid.
I wait for you to come home,
I clean up.
Boy, do I love cleaning up!
It's all I do, all day long!
What about me? No one cares?
-Are you listening?
-It's all I'm doing!
What did I just say?
Just now?
Something about the house...
Tonight,
you're going to listen to me!
-What a mood! Are you on your...?
-No!
I'm on my last leg!
I don't see why. You have
a pleasant life, lots of money...
Right, the money you give me.
But that money isn't just for me.
It's for the house, the kids,
dinner when you come home,
little man!
You use it, don't you?
I work as hard as you do, old man!
You can't compare my responsibilities
at work with what you do,
pushing buttons on
the washing machine I bought you!
Fine, I leave you
to your responsibilities,
your big house, washing machines,
the kids, all of it!
See ya!
Annie?
Annie, stop fooling around!
I'm sick of this!
This life is suffocating me!
I need fresh air!
I'm tired of being
the perfect housewife!
Goddamn it!
I'm fed up. I can't take it anymore!
I'm sick of staying home alone
with fancy pots and pans!
"Well, hello!
How are you doing, Mrs. Blender?"
"What a surprise
to see you here, Mr. Clean!"
-Get back inside!
-No!
Yes! You'll wake up
the whole neighborhood!
I don't care!
Do you know
how many meals I've made
during 15 years of marriage?
That's 16,425 meals! And earlier...
Alcohol strikes again.
I'm so sick of being
clean, elegant, well-dressed,
all dolled up,
polite, smiling, like a monkey!
It's disgusting!
That's enough now!
I order you to come inside!
The boss is giving orders!
Don't talk to me like a I'm a child.
Before I met you,
I was a big journalist.
I did reports all around the world!
Help!
But what am I now?
Plain, old Mrs. Larcher!
I'm sick of being Mrs. Larcher,
the wife of a shitty CEO!
-I want to be me! Just me!
-Yeah, yeah.
-I want to be me!
-You've gone completely nuts.
Maybe I really am nuts.
I'm so embarrassed.
I should be happy,
but I'm not.
I quit my job for a guy,
had some kids...
I thought I'd be happy.
Maybe I've just become
a melancholic middle-class woman.
It's not working out anymore.
I have to do something about this.
It feels like
life is just passing me by.
What should I do, Doctor?
To ask a question is to answer it.
-Any news?
-Not yet.
-I can't wait any longer!
-Come quick!
Come on, hurry up!
There's no one here?
A new-born baby... This is urgent!
There's no one here!
-Can I help?
-A baby's being born in my cab!
Emergency in the main hall.
-The nurse is on her way.
-Good.
I can't stand that stuff.
Anything but that!
The last time
a woman gave birth in my cab,
I passed out!
I don't know how
you women handle giving birth.
We have no choice!
I wish my wife gave birth
in our car! It's been 12 hours!
I can't take it anymore!
-Go to the annex.
-What annex?
-The café outside. Get a drink.
-Thanks.
There you are! Pay up now.
This is not a good time!
"Not a good time"?
You're not giving birth.
Come with me, ma'am.
-Coming, Charlotte.
-Thanks.
Hey! My change.
Not in a hurry now, are you?
-Here.
-Thanks.
Hey, where's my tip?
CLINIC
DOCTOR
Hey, you! You're not allowed
to use your husband's sign.
-I'm the doctor.
-Show me your ID.
I have patients!
-Show me your ID!
-Hey, now!
Instead of wasting my time,
go get your liver checked.
You look sick, honey.
Well, she's not wrong.
Hello, darling.
Settling in all right?
-Great.
-Thanks for getting me this job.
You'll thank me
after your thousandth birth.
-Where's the patient list?
-Here. Not very many today.
-Wait! Margot Duval, that'll be fun!
-Why is that?
She pushes again and again,
then nothing. Just a bubble.
-A bubble?
-Yes!
Hello? It's for you.
Mrs. Pierson wants to talk to you.
She's such a pain! Tell her I'm
in the Caribbean for an emergency.
-Yes, sir?
-It's for Mrs. Vandermaken.
-First floor, room 207.
-Thank you.
That's the fifth one this morning.
We don't have any vases left.
Great, they'll steal
my urine pots again.
Hello?
-What do you think?
-Well...
-And this one?
-Meh...
You'd dare to wear those?
I make them. I don't wear them.
We need to decide soon
if we want to be ready for summer.
Come in!
-The workshop reports, Mr. Director.
-Thanks, Alice.
-I have a last name, Mr. Director.
-Come on, Alice...
Fine. Ms. Roleau,
I can tell you want
to ask me something else.
No, Mr. Director.
I won't ask, I'll demand.
At the next meeting,
my colleagues and I will demand
a day-care center
for mothers who work here.
Listen, Ms. Roleau,
in three years
as head of the staff committee,
I've given you
a coffee break at 10:00 a.m.,
another break at 4:00 p.m.,
workshop blouses, showers,
a canteen with healthy food,
not to mention
the salary increase, of course.
All that was very expensive.
How could we afford
a day-care center?
You'd rather have us strike?
Come on now.
Let's not get carried away.
Fine... I'll examine your request,
and we'll talk about it.
Don't worry. We will talk about it.
Wait, don't go yet.
Since you're here, what do you think
of the new summer collection?
It's not my problem, Mr. Director.
For the love of God!
Can you stop acting
like a staff representative
and behave like a human being?
Alice?
Since you're asking...
Your glasses are corny...
Jean-Pierre.
Damn women...
You're telling me!
They're up to
all kinds of things now.
-Do you still see your ex?
-Yes, every two weeks,
when I pick up my kid.
She's been over the moon
since we divorced.
Apparently, she's blossoming.
-She's not seeing anyone.
-Really?
Not a single person.
Incredible.
-Is Annie doing better?
-Yeah.
She found a little job
as a receptionist about a month ago.
I thought
she used to be a journalist.
Yeah, vaguely.
She couldn't find anything, so...
This job keeps her nice and busy.
This is the last time!
I won't go through this again.
You don't know how this feels!
Montsegur Clinic.
Yes, I'll connect you to room 17.
We predict five births tonight.
Why are they all
getting knocked up? I'm not!
Montsegur Clinic.
Mrs. Tellant, please.
I'm Mrs. Tellant's mother.
You know, the triplets.
First floor, room 19, ma'am.
Oh my God, three at once!
It's fun, isn't it?
Just throw two of them away.
And another!
That's six births tonight.
Another messy night
on my shift, of course.
-Montsegur.
-What about pills?
-Mrs. Lola?
-They don't take any?
The line is busy, sir, please hold.
I don't know how many are fathers,
but the phone's busy!
-I'm in a hurry. See you tomorrow.
-Bye.
First floor, room 107!
-Still no news?
-Sorry!
-He doesn't want to see me?
-Better ask him.
DRY CLEANING IN ONE HOUR
ORANGE-LABEL PRODUCTS
Honestly!
I've organized this pile
six times today!
I'm fed up!
POTATOES
This checkout's closed.
Shit! How do I get out now?
I'm late, sorry.
-Annie.
-Good evening, Vincent.
Honey, is it OK
if Vincent joins us for dinner?
We have
important decisions to make.
Sure, I'm delighted.
Please don't
go out of your way for me.
Just some cold meats...
We don't have any.
I'll think of something!
Mom, can you help?
I don't get this exercise.
-I don't have time.
-No one has time around here!
-What do you think?
-They're so corny!
"Corny"? What does that mean?
-No one's helping me here!
-Yeah, yeah.
This food is delicious.
-It's orange duck.
-Yes, it's delicious. Well done.
-It was frozen.
-Really? They do that now?
-It smells like oranges.
-It's made with real ones.
Yes, but it has chemicals.
Those cause cancer.
Shit! Holy shit!
What's the matter?
It's the dishwasher again!
It's clogged up!
Again?
Help me!
These damn machines,
always breaking down.
I wonder if we weren't happier
before machines,
when we'd do everything
ourselves, by hand,
without all that stuff.
Sure.
Shit, shit, shit!
You piece of shit! Stupid machine!
Hello? Plumber Express?
Mrs. Becker's file.
Hello, Plumber Express?
Are you still there?
My washing machine's broken.
Could you come over?
I need the machine's brand name,
serial number, and year.
The brand? Well, it's a...
Another one who doesn't know
the brand or serial number.
Madam, the number
is on the bottom, on the right. Yes.
But I'm not at home!
Darn! Please hold!
Hello, Montsegur Clinic.
Ma'am, I have labor pains
every five and a half minutes.
What do I do?
Come here quick!
"Come here quick"?
Madam, I can't come quick
until I have the serial number!
That's not hard to understand, is it?
I need the machine's number!
-Don't get upset. It's bad for you.
-I'm not getting upset!
You're making me upset
by telling not to get upset!
What are you feeding me?
Merguez sausages?
Merguez, really?
I can't believe this!
Where do you buy these damn things?
You're buying this on purpose!
Is that beef?
They've been waiting for eight days.
"Waiting for eight days"!
-You think you're my only client?
-Hey! Calm down!
-I had emergencies!
-I'm just the neighbor.
-I keep the keys to help.
-I'm helping too.
I have clients begging to see me.
So, where are we doing this?
-In the kitchen!
-"The kitchen"? Well, where is it?
Am I the architect?
Did I build this house, or what?
This is off to a bad start,
a very bad start!
I knew it. I knew it!
-What?
-It's American.
-So what?
-"So what"? It's a pain.
That machine is a pain!
I can confirm: it's a pain!
I don't understand what you're saying
about multinationals.
A multinational
is a machine like yours.
But for your machine,
I'll have to order
a part from Germany,
from a factory that works
under an American license.
They don't always
have parts available.
They can't just wait for a call.
So, they have to contact
their branches in Brussels, London,
or even Norway!
By the time that part arrives here...
It'll take... Exactly. Yes.
Shit, my washing machine
is broken for the next two months.
Mrs. Bandermarken, please.
-First floor, room 207.
-Thank you, ma'am.
What's up with this guy?
She'll get a shock seeing him!
Good thing
she's already had her baby!
-What does she do with the flowers?
-She eats them.
-Want to join me for coffee?
-Sure.
Catherine,
could you cover for me for a bit?
Isn't it tough to do everything?
Work and home.
Sometimes.
-Did you find a maid?
-Yes, two hours in the morning.
What about the kids?
They're grown up now.
They can handle being alone.
Better than with me.
She's really great.
-Are you sure it's a girl?
-Yeah.
-How can you tell?
-I just know.
-I'll give you 20 francs for her.
-Twenty? You're nuts!
-Twenty, plus my plastic sleeve.
-Your sneakers.
What? They're new!
What will my mom say?
Tell her you lost them.
I already told her
I lost my watch and jacket.
She'll get suspicious.
You can't touch Dad's stereo!
-If you talk, I talk.
-Moron!
I've asked to see you because
Julien is falling behind lately.
If this goes on,
he'll have to repeat the year.
You have to keep an eye
on his homework.
I can't. I work in the evening.
Really? When did you start?
About three months ago.
That explains it.
In that case, we'll make him
do tests with the psychologist.
Oh, right... That's good.
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Mrs. Larcher.
Mrs. Larcher,
do you get along with your husband?
Yes. Why?
Why can't that woman
mind her own business?
-Of course, we get along.
-Do we?
What do you mean, "do we"?
Do you want me
to prove it to you right now?
Music?
-They touched my stereo again!
-No.
-Yes!
-No, they didn't.
-I swear they touched it.
-So what? Just leave it.
-It's fine.
-I can't stand that!
Who cares?
It's not important.
Right? It's not important.
Is it more important?
Or less important?
-I need money for the canteen.
-Again?
I eat every day, you know?
Mom! We're out of toothpaste!
Shit. Check in the cabinet!
It's not mint-flavored.
I don't like it!
I haven't slept all night.
That didn't stop you
from snoring, honey!
The government has decided
to face the recent price hike.
-The prime minister...
-Hear that?
You fall asleep reading about morons.
You wake up to them too!
No coffee this morning?
Yes, like every morning
for the past 15 years.
-Mom, I need new gym sneakers.
-Again?
-They wear out.
-Fine, we'll go on Saturday.
I have gym tomorrow.
Right... We'll go tonight then.
I don't have time for this.
Shit, I'm late.
Bye.
You'll clean up, of course.
Mom!
I need to talk to you.
Now? I'm already late!
What's wrong?
Get in. I'll drive you to school.
I don't get it. Who's this Marc?
-Marc is Marc.
-Right...
-What did he do?
-He gave a bracelet to Catherine.
-That's not so bad.
-Yes, it is.
It's a token, you see?
It's to make you jealous.
-You think?
-Sure!
Do you believe me?
Listen, if you have any troubles,
come talk to me.
It's not easy.
You're always busy. Bye.
Annie, where's my gray suit?
Still at the dry cleaner's?
Mom! You didn't give us
our allowance this week.
The other kids get more than we do.
Mom, I need blue skis
and some moonboots.
Annie, what's for dinner?
Not spinach, right?
We never get fries in this house.
I can't find it!
What do you want from me?
I know you're social security,
but I can't find anything!
I'll call you back later.
I think that's best. All right.
You're late!
I have to do some shopping
-on my lunch break.
-You never take a break!
You don't sleep,
eat, or drink! Never!
I swear...
Yes?
Montsegur Clinic, I'm listening.
Annie, don't forget
to go to the bank!
Hey, Mom, don't forget
the parent-teacher conference.
I don't have the part
for the washing machine.
I told you, buy French products!
Mom, my friends buy their jeans
at flea markets. Can we go?
Annie, who took my black socks?
This is madness!
Mom, my bike's
making a weird noise.
-There you are! You're late too.
-The stores were crowded.
I don't care.
Room 12 is a Caesarean.
Room 27 is twins.
A woman called saying
she's arriving 15 days early,
but no beds are free.
Sort it out, old girl. See ya.
-Well?
-It's a boy!
Congratulations!
-What are the others like?
-Others?
Babies.
They're awful, hideous,
all red and wrinkly.
But they grow out of it.
Really? Thanks, ma'am.
-I'll drop you off after we're done.
-Thank you.
All right, gentlemen,
we can get started.
I don't know if you've met
Ms. Karin Lafitte.
-She manages Optimiste Optique.
-Hello.
It's our best sales outlet.
I've asked her here today
to help us establish
the offer for the next collection.
I'll pass you to him.
It's your wife.
Excuse me.
Hello?
What?
Could you buy some bread tonight?
Yes, bread.
You know I'm busy!
I know, but I was asked
to work a bit late.
The bakeries will be closed.
Just pick up a baguette, OK?
Sure, sure...
Paper, please.
And flour too.
I promised the kids I'd make crepes.
All right.
I'll handle it.
Right, so...
Sorry.
I'll be quick,
I'm out of cigarettes.
-I have some.
-Well, I need cigars too...
Really?
CAFE, BAR, TOBACCO
BAKERY
A baguette, please.
Thank you.
And some flour.
-Shall I cut it in half?
-Yes, please.
Thank you.
-How much?
-That's 3.65.
Thank you, ma'am.
One round loaf, please.
-This place has good cigars.
-They leave lots of crumbs!
Hello, Montsegur Clinic?
I have labor pains
every six minutes. What do I do?
Hello, ma'am? Do you know
if Mrs. Benlarbi gave birth yet?
Hello? Montsegur Clinic?
Can you tell me if the baby
in room 629 is a boy or a girl?
Well... This makes you fall asleep?
No, not at all.
Sorry, I'm a bit tired tonight.
I didn't think you were tired.
It's weird. You seem miles away.
Not at all. I'm right here.
Montsegur Clinic?
I've been waiting for an hour!
I'm not the mom of room 12.
I'm the grandma of room 46!
Montsegur Clinic?
My wife isn't home.
What should I put
in the baby's bottle?
You're really absent tonight.
Are you cheating on me?
What did he just say?
Honey!
It's so nice to know that
you remember my phone number
only when you need me.
Mom, since I got the job,
I don't have any free time!
I'm not criticizing you, honey.
I just feel very lonely, that's all.
Yes, Mom. Speaking of which...
One second.
Montsegur Clinic. Please hold.
I wanted to ask you to come
Saturday to watch the kids.
I have to work that day.
I'm so sorry, my dear girl,
but on Saturday,
I'm going to a protest walk
at the nuclear plant...
-Fessenheim.
-Fessen... what?
-Fessenheim.
-Fessenheim!
I'm really sorry.
But isn't your husband
home on Saturday?
Dad? Ready to go?
-Can we go get my boots?
-What?
Mom said that since it's Saturday,
we should go buy my boots.
-"Boots"?
-Yes, boots. You know, shoes!
-Right now?
-It's 9:00 a.m., come on!
Since we're here,
didn't you need new shoes too?
No, but could you give me 20 francs
as an advance
for my next allowance?
Didn't I give it
to you the other day?
For the next one, then.
-Here.
-Thanks, Dad.
Come on.
No, I want red boots
with heels this big.
Are you crazy?
You're not wearing heels at your age.
-The girls in my class do.
-It's not my fault they're so silly,
and it's bad for your spine. Right?
Not at all! I wear them too.
Well, maybe,
but you might sprain an ankle.
No, Olivia,
it's out of the question.
I'd like 20 francs' worth.
What are you doing?
Sending them back to the river.
Coming, moron?
Do you have any kids?
You sure are lucky!
This is my first.
Stop there, if you can.
That must be for me!
Ma'am?
Still nothing for me, ma'am?
The wait is so long...
Especially for your wife!
Yes. Thank you.
Hello, is that you?
So, how's it going?
It's going well?
Very well!
Why wouldn't it be going well?
Sorry, I have to hang up.
I'm very busy.
Kids, come and help me!
I can't. I'm cleaning my room!
To open the oven,
turn the right button to zero.
Hang on.
Hello, Montsegur Clinic.
Please hold.
Are you there?
OK, next, press
the fourth button from the right
all the way in. Got it?
-Wait.
-The doctor, please.
-Please wait there, ma'am.
-Really?
Yes. The door does
get stuck sometimes.
You know what you do now?
Lift it up, one big push. Bam! OK?
Good. You can do it, dear!
Hi, Dad.
I'm leaving now.
Leaving? Without having lunch?
-I'm going to Catherine's.
-Catherine who?
Just Catherine. Mom knows her.
She said I could go.
Really?
Wait, what did you do to your face?
Me? Nothing. See ya.
-No sauce?
-No!
-No fries either?
-Only chips.
Where did you get these from?
They taste like plastic!
Mom always has
sauce and fries with chicken.
Your mom's not here.
She's working today.
Aren't you worried
this'll make us sick?
-You're still having lunch?
-I had to fix the oven.
Everything's broken in this house.
Have a seat.
-Hello, Marlène.
-Hello, Jean-Pierre.
Are you OK?
Don't pee in your pants, OK?
She was such a pain
at the restaurant.
She refused to eat
all the food she ordered.
Do you want some apple pie?
Don't you want some?
I want a chocolate éclair.
-Do you have any?
-No.
But I assure you,
the apple pie is really good.
It's very good! Very yummy!
Shit, just forget it.
-Eat up, you!
-I don't want any more.
Maybe Marlène could go play
in Julien's room?
That's a good idea.
Julien, go with her.
-What about my pie?
-You'll get some later!
-Kids are a real pain in the ass!
-Well...
-Where do I put this?
-Just wait two seconds.
Hey, your daughter's doing well.
What do you mean?
I saw her with a boy in the street.
He seems like a nice guy.
A boy?
Quick, come see!
Marlène!
My baby hamsters
are great, aren't they?
Lucky you!
This the sleeve
of my tweed jacket!
Come here.
-You weren't using it, so...
-I'm sick of this!
Get rid of all this.
I don't want
another animal here, got it?
-What's wrong?
-It's raining! It's raining!
I've ordered
150,000 pairs of sunglasses,
and it's raining. We're ruined.
I'll get you a glass
of orange blossom water.
Julien?
Julien?
MOM
Dear Mom, I'm leaving.
I don't want to live with Dad
anymore, and you're never around.
But don't worry, I'm not in danger.
My animals and I
will go live in the forest.
I took my sleeping bag
and coat with me.
Give Olivia all my marker pens.
Big kisses, Mom.
Jean-Pierre!
-See that?
-Yeah, it's a kid.
At this hour? It's not normal.
Stop the car!
No way! We'd get into a mess
with his parents and the police.
No, you didn't wake me up.
You know I can
never sleep a wink, honey.
I haven't heard from him. Why?
Mom, he's gone!
We're worried sick!
Please, calm down.
What are you doing
out here at night?
It's my bike... Flat tire.
-Can I get a ride?
-Fine, go get your bike.
Age: 11 years old.
Height: five feet.
Supposedly carrying two baskets
on a white bike. Stop.
My mom works all day long now,
just like my dad.
That doesn't mean
they don't love you.
But my dad wanted
to throw Sido away.
Who's Sido?
Oh my God!
You're right on time!
In my truck, it's this big!
I didn't think twice.
He's just a kid with baskets!
All I wanted to do
was help him out!
-But he's got a snake!
-A snake?
You know, a cobra, a python,
I don't know what. A snake!
The one snaking here
is your truck on the road!
I realized
it wasn't possible anymore.
They all need me too much.
I have to be there for them.
In the modern world, being there
is the most precious gift
we can give others.
At least, I think so.
So, I quit my job at the clinic,
and I'll try working from home.
I'll write a few articles,
left or right.
I was a pretty good journalist,
you know?
Or maybe a book.
It might be good for me
to write a book.
Don't you think so?
I have to do something...
or I'll just die.
Do you understand?
I'll die, Doctor!
"The three young women sat
and had a lively discussion.
"Mahina waved around
the book she'd found
"in a collapsed pile
near the Italian percolator.
"Angles said,
"'Marriage doesn't enter history as
the reconciliation of man and woman,
"'even less so as the supreme power
of marriage. On the contrary,
"'it appeared as the subjection
of one sex to the other,
"'like the proclamation
of a conflict...'"
You're not interested?
Are you crazy? This is fascinating.
You were yawning.
No, I'm just a bit tired,
got things on my mind...
and the hot June weather...
Keep going.
-Are you sure?
-Go on.
-Do you think it's any good?
-It's terrific.
I think you wrote a terrific novel.
Do you like the title?
-The Slumbering Woman.
-Yeah, not bad.
Keep reading.
"Pauline nodded.
"'I didn't know
that chauvinist Angles
"'had said such reasonable things.'"
"'Angles wasn't a chauvinist',
"said Mahina
in her passionate activist voice.
"Stéphanie giggled,
"'All men are chauvinists.
"'You just have chauvinists
from the left or right wing...'"
OPTICIAN
You see? What I told you
on the phone is true.
Your new winter sports model,
"Sun on the Snow",
doesn't fit in its case.
-That's impossible.
-It's true!
If you don't do things yourself...
I'll find the moron
at the factory who did this!
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
It's a good thing you're here.
THE SLUMBERING WOMAN
And for you, sir?
-What can I get you?
-What? Anything you want.
-Anything in particular?
-I don't know, beer!
-Draught, bottle, French, foreign?
-I don't know. I don't care.
Pale ale? Bitter?
Expensive or cheap?
Expensive and pale.
Now leave me alone!
Is that you? Yes, it's him!
-Where did you find this?
-The butcher's.
It's out already?
I didn't get any copies!
You could have warned me.
That would have been nice, right?
Well excuse me.
I tried telling you twice,
but you didn't listen.
With what's going on at work,
you're not yourself lately.
It's ridiculous that
I had to buy the book written
by my own wife!
Forgive me.
I didn't think you'd be interested.
-Why wouldn't I be?
-I don't know...
I just didn't want to bother you.
Give me a hand here.
-Did you read it?
-I had a quick look.
Is it good?
Sure, it's good overall,
but well, I'm really surprised.
Surprised? Why?
-Some scenes were a bit...
-A bit what?
I don't know... erotic.
-So what?
-"So what"? What will people think?
It's not an autobiography!
People will wonder
where you get those ideas!
"People"? What people?
Your mom can't read!
The neighbor
hiding behind her hedge?
Vincent, who's always
so focused on his reports?
I don't give a shit!
No one will read
this damn book anyway, so...
Well, I did read it!
And I didn't like it!
Well, I'm sick and tired!
Every time
I do something here, it's bad!
I'm sick of it!
The complaints office again.
This book isn't that bad.
It's good, actually.
It's just that...
I wasn't expecting this.
I'm proud of you.
Come on, now.
That's the factory looking for me.
Go tell them I'm not here,
too bad for them.
Hello? Yes, that's me.
Hello!
-It's my agent!
-Your agent?
Yes, for my contracts.
Yes! I did see it.
An agent?
Thank you. I'm thrilled!
Who is this guy, anyway?
-Got any cash?
-It's my treat.
DRINKS
The staff committee is a pain,
but thanks to us, there's hot coffee.
Would you look at this...
Look at this... piece of shit!
At the price we pay,
this damn thing could at least work!
It took 15 days to install
this thing. Look at that.
-I give up.
-Yeah.
There it is!
Well, wouldn't you know?
-Nice and simple!
-What a waste. Just look at that.
It's doing this on purpose!
Wait, let me try.
Calm down. One coffee, there.
You have to take it gently.
You don't know how to talk to it.
See? There we go.
Here you go, friend.
-Damn, that's hot!
-OK, one coffee.
There.
There we go.
Say, your wife's novel isn't bad.
It's terrific. She's got talent.
-Yeah, she's good at it.
-Yes, so are you.
-What do you mean?
-Well, some scenes are...
No! I don't know what you mean.
What the hell is this coffee?
It's hot chocolate.
I'm throwing this out.
-Yes, sir?
-Cigarettes, please.
Aren't you the husband
of the woman who wrote that book?
-Yes.
-I recognized her on the cover.
Bravo! Makes you wonder
where she gets those ideas!
Yes, sure makes you wonder!
This is for you.
What's this?
No way, a digital watch!
That's fabulous!
-Are you happy?
-You bet! I've been dreaming of one.
You went overboard!
It must have cost a fortune.
-My editor's first check.
-You shouldn't have!
Do you know my book's doing well?
Really?
Thank you.
-How do I put this on?
-Like this.
Push it there, and let go.
-You've got to be kidding me!
-What can we do?
-Such an expensive watch!
-What am I supposed to do?
Careful.
-Did it have a warranty?
-I'm sure it did,
but not for this!
They won't believe me!
-Is it waterproof?
-It looks like a grasshopper!
It's not sauce-proof!
What are you doing?
I prepared a review
of articles on Mrs. Larcher.
Is that so?
They're talking about her everywhere.
It's great!
Yes, well...
Any news about our model,
"Sun on the Snow"?
I haven't had time for that.
May I remind you
you're my secretary, not my wife's!
Yes, sir.
It's not improving much.
The wind's blowing today...
Pass me the salt.
Rain covering the west
and the Paris Basin.
Watch what you're doing!
... leaving the area
flooded once again.
And finally,
Claude's guest today is...
It's Mom!
And now, the book of the month,
the revelation of the season,
Annie Larcher's The Slumbering Woman,
published by Flammarion.
Annie Larcher, your heroine seems
to be making a cry for revolt
against the middle-class society.
What are you doing on TV?
It's a short interview
I did yesterday.
You could warn me
when you do things!
-I didn't know they'd air it today.
-You could at least tell me!
Honey, do you ever warn me when
you present new glasses to the press?
-It's not the same!
-Why not?
Honestly! I'm your husband!
-...in my book.
-Tell us everything, Annie Larcher.
-Yes?
-I have your mother on line two.
Thank you.
-Hello, Mom?
-Hello, darling!
-We saw Annie on TV!
-Yes.
-You weren't on TV.
-No, because I work!
Is that all you have to say?
Bye, Mom!
Come in!
What the hell is that?
Books.
Some colleagues would like
Mrs. Larcher to sign them.
They'd like to know if
Mrs. Larcher could give a conference
on the circumstances of women
in a world made for men.
-And you're asking me?
-You're her husband, aren't you?
I'll talk to her about it.
She'll be thrilled.
However, I must warn you
that despite this friendly exchange,
the day-care center strike notice
will still expire in five days.
I'm sick of this.
Damn women in the factory,
at home, in the street,
in traffic jams, on the radio,
on the phone! I'm sick of it!
I've had it! No more damn women!
I want to be
surrounded only by men!
From now on,
we'll only hire men here!
Mr. Larcher,
you're not being reasonable.
If you hired only men,
you'd have to pay a normal wage.
That's 20% more than we get!
I feel like I'm not the boss anymore.
I matter less and less...
I've become my wife's husband!
-She offers me expensive watches.
-I see.
-I feel overwhelmed.
-Of course.
All these women,
always watching us,
eating us up, mocking us!
In my factory, my office,
my bedroom, women everywhere!
-I can't take it anymore!
-What about me?
All day long,
all I see is women lying there,
with their womanly problems!
I haven't seen a male patient in...
What can we do?
Nothing, sir.
We're all doomed, sir.
That'll be 500 francs, sir.
Finally!
Hey, I do what I can!
I can't just...
Ever since you fixed
the washing machine,
it's been running well.
Then what are you
bothering me for? You're nuts!
It's running. Running away.
"Running away"?
It ran through the kitchen,
ripped off pipes, flooded the cellar.
What's this about?
Are we in Frankenstein?
Mrs. Larcher isn't here?
She had to go out,
but you know the way.
Yes, thank God for that!
I could end up living here!
Hey, be careful.
The stairs are slippery!
Where did they hide
the light switch in this house?
You've got to be kidding!
Shit!
Who would put a cellar here?
They did that on purpose!
On purpose, I swear!
What a shitty job!
I can't believe this!
I'm sick of this goddamn house!
Sick and tired!
This isn't a flood.
I need a damn boat here!
You've got to be kidding!
Annie?
It's your dear editor!
Where are you?
Shit! Damn this rotten thing!
Piece of shit!
Mr. Rossy?
He slipped in the cellar.
And so did I!
Are you hurt?
-No, but I'm bruised all over.
-Sit down.
-There. Is that better?
-Yes, thank you.
Well done with the flooding!
What's worse is
the TV crew are on their way!
Look at the state I'm in!
My suit is drenched!
I'll find something. I'm sure
you'll fit in my husband's clothes.
I'll just catch a cold. No one cares!
The worker doesn't count!
...let's unite to prove our strength!
-What are they up to?
-A protest.
A protest?
Comrades,
it's time we say, "Enough!"
We've been asking
for a day-care center for a year!
Day-care center!
They want to ignore our problems,
not just as working women,
but as mothers!
It's time we remind them
that the presence of our kids
here will help us!
Yeah!
It's not normal for...
-Is this racket going to last long?
-Until we give in.
...unused conference rooms...
Annie, it's great!
You have five votes,
and Weber has four
and one non-vote!
You're sure to get it!
I'm listening!
I'll stay on the line!
Keep me up-to-date!
Thank you! I'm still here!
OK, let's roll camera.
-So, what now?
-We'll see.
-All right, then...
-We can't stay here all day!
Start on me with a close-up.
Then, we'll pan over to her. There.
What do you mean,
"He doesn't like Annie Larcher"?
Tell him I'll edit his next one
if he joins us.
Yes. With a huge advance too!
Rolling.
Larcher, Women's Prize, take one.
Dear friends, tonight,
I'm presenting to you
exclusively, on FR4,
the female prize-winner,
Annie Larcher.
Annie Larcher...
Shit! Cut!
-Who's that?
-Just my husband.
You're home?
Just ask the butler!
You know that...
Is this a bad time?
Not at all.
I wasn't expecting you so early.
I came home to study
an important file in peace and quiet.
You're the husband?
That's not how I pictured you.
Doesn't matter. Sit down.
Let's start over with him.
Can you tell me what's going on?
Honey, it turns out
I might get the women's prize!
-You?
-Yes, me!
We got the women's prize!
-I got it!
-Perfect!
We'll finish with the TV crew
and come right over!
My dear friend,
my latest find, well done!
I'm so proud and happy
for you, for me, for us!
You know my husband.
This is my editor, Mr. Rossy.
-Hello.
-Hello, my friend. What a moment!
Yes. Funny,
we have the same jacket.
It's your jacket.
I'll get the tape printed right away!
Are we doing this or not?
Women's prize or not,
I'm out of here by 6:00 p.m.
Hey... OK, let's do this.
Sit on the sofa with Annie,
-one on each side.
-No, I...
Please, we're running out of time.
-Is everyone ready?
-Sit down. Just wait.
I am waiting.
Zoom in on me.
What's this moron doing
wearing my jacket?
He slipped in the cellar.
I'll explain later.
I sure hope so!
Why was he in the cellar?
Silence, please!
-Can we start or not?
-Go ahead.
-Camera.
-Rolling!
Go!
Larcher, Women's Prize, take two.
You OK?
-My son, Julien.
-Very nice.
You had your family reunion?
Are you ready?
Can we start now?
Go sit down there
next to the lady. Good boy.
-What's your coat made of?
-Wolf fur.
-Assassin!
-Excuse me?
Sorry, my son is on the committee
for the protection of wolves.
How charming.
This is just from an old wolf
who died of old age in a zoo.
He left me his fur.
She thinks I'm an idiot.
Go to your room with Olivia
and leave us alone.
Sorry about that.
If we keep going at this pace,
there's no point starting.
How do I start again? I forgot.
Annie Larcher and
the two men in her life.
Here, we have Annie Larcher
and the two men in her life:
her editor and her husband.
Mr. Larcher, what's it like to be
the husband of a famous woman?
Well...
-Hello, Jean-Pierre? Guess what?
-This is perfect!
They found a place
for the day-care center.
Come in! This is the boss' office.
Don't be afraid, come in!
Mrs. Adeline,
sit down with your baby.
Yes, take your coats off.
Find a spot for the coats.
What? In my office?
Get some shots of the house.
Listen, I'd rather avoid
going to the factory now.
I'll just get pissed off.
-Will this take much longer?
-Two minutes.
I have to call New York
urgently to warn them.
Vincent,
I'll let you handle all that.
Thanks.
You're calling New York?
-Don't worry. I'll pay you back.
-It's out of the question!
I make calls to New York
for my work too, sometimes.
Really? What do you do again?
Annie told me, but I forgot.
-I make glasses.
-That's fun.
Hello, Murray? We got it!
Yes! I am very glad!
And Mr. Larcher is too!
Everybody's very glad!
It's the best day of my life!
I hope it's a best-seller!
Goodbye!
Are you OK?
Do you want a drink?
Mrs. Larcher, I fixed the leak,
but I don't have
the washing machine part.
I did warn you:
you have to buy French products!
-You have a buffet?
-Yes. Want a drink?
By all means! I may be a worker,
but I still get thirsty.
I can imagine
the look on Gallimard's face!
Well, we better get going.
Thank you.
-Bravo again. Bye.
-Goodbye.
-Ready to go?
-We should get going too.
Where to?
The prize's cocktail party!
They're waiting for us.
-Should I go?
-Of course!
-I should go change then.
-Yes!
You go ahead. I'll catch up.
You swear you'll come?
I don't want to lose this prize.
Promise? See you there!
Watch out, that kid
is eating your mail! Spit that out!
What is the meaning of all this?
What are you doing?
What the hell is this?
We're setting up a place for cribs.
Cribs?
Babies need to take naps,
Mr. Assistant Director!
Naps...
They filmed me too.
I didn't let them.
That'll teach them to wear fur coats.
-Where's Dad?
-Gone.
-"Gone"? Where to?
-I don't know.
The phone. Pass me the phone.
Where is the phone?
Here you go, here's the phone.
Hello? Yes?
Annie, it's you!
Yes. No, no.
Jean-Pierre isn't here.
Although I sure could use his help!
Ma'am! This baby...
this baby is peeing.
Babies need to pee too,
Mr. Assistant Director!
Hello? Yes...
Annie, if only
that were our only problem!
Mom! Look at what Dad brought home!
I've lost my home,
so I rented a new one.
-And my office too.
-What are you talking about?
I won't take any more baths
in front of TV cameras!
-Are you nuts?
-No,
I'm disgusted
and have been evicted by morons!
Now, ma'am, please let me through.
I'll make myself at home!
Kids, get out.
Go do your homework!
Be nice and tidy up
once you're done eating.
-Can we stay in Dad's truck?
-On Sundays.
Good.
Good evening.
Off to a costume party?
May I remind you
I got the women's prize
and I must go to a cocktail party.
I know, you don't care,
but can you move your thingy
so I can get my car out?
I can't.
I put the block wedges in.
That's OK. I'll get a cab.
Would it be too much to ask you
to keep an eye on your kids? Thanks.
The door!
If we don't find a solution,
they'll do it again on Wednesday!
All right, all right,
let's start from scratch.
We can put
the accountant's office
-in the cloakroom.
-Right.
The cloakroom would go
in the soldering workshop,
the workshop in the storage room...
-Where do the kids go?
-In the accountant's office,
which goes in the cloakroom.
Mr. Director, I've already
told you three times today:
I refuse to go in the cloakroom.
Listen, please be reasonable.
No office? Then no reports!
You deal with the tax authorities.
-Is that blackmail?
-It sure is!
You handle this.
Let's see you try.
Today, on Ladies of Brussels,
we have two events
in the library section.
Mrs. Annie Larcher,
women's prize-winner,
is autographing her book
The Slumbering Woman.
I'm next! It's my turn!
Please sign it
to Mrs. Vandermaterbult.
How do you spell that?
The way it's pronounced.
She's from Paris.
She doesn't know how to spell it.
Please write it out
on this sheet of paper.
Of course, sir, my pleasure.
For me, you can write,
"To Kitten".
I really love your books.
-This is my first one.
-Wait, you're not Françoise Dorin?
No, sorry.
They gave me the wrong directions.
I can't believe this.
Here's how you spell it.
What's this woman selling?
-Books, I think.
-Meh!
Can I call Paris now?
-I'll go set up a call.
-Thank you, ma'am.
Could you write, "To my best friend
at Molière School"?
You don't remember me?
My nickname was "Crumb Collector"!
Crumb Collector!
How have you been?
I'm not as successful as you.
I married a Belgian, got eight kids.
So what? That's great!
-I've got your call to Paris.
-I'll be right there.
-Can you wait?
-Sure.
Step right up! We only have
a few large swimsuits left
in our summer sale!
Hello, Mom? How are you?
Are the kids behaving?
Good. Is the big guy
still locked up in his shack?
Still no word from him?
Yes, actually! I had the pleasure
of hearing his voice.
Really? What did he say?
He called me a pain in the ass.
I'm sorry, but you know how he is.
Yes. What?
Are you insane?
Don't let me down!
I can't talk right now.
I'm in a store!
I'll come home tonight.
Don't let me down, OK?
Stay there, don't move!
See you tomorrow.
Bye, Mom. I love you.
-It's so nice to see you.
-Yes, it's wonderful.
I read that you're married.
Your husband isn't here with you?
No, he travels a lot.
He's traveling around Africa
in a caravan.
I wrote my address down
on some paper for you.
That's nice of you.
-Bye!
-See you soon.
-For Marie-José.
-And now,
this morning's main event
on Ladies of Brussels,
in the music section,
DJ Chopin will sign autographs
of his latest single!
Keeping a house clean
is so much work! All this dust,
you'd never expect it.
It keeps coming back.
You can't spend
your whole life here!
I'll stay as long as necessary.
She has journalists over
all day long.
She mocks me by telling everyone
I'm exploring Africa.
Her editor's in my house,
wearing my jacket.
So, I stay right here
on the driveway to annoy her.
And I've become an example!
It's Dad.
Tango Bravo, here.
I'm listening, over.
Hello? This is Foxtrot.
I need two bottles of wine.
In the cellar, on the right.
I repeat:
one of red wine
and one sparkling wine,
in the cellar, on the right.
Thank you. Over.
Message received.
We'll deliver right away. Over.
-I'll get going.
-Won't you have lunch with us?
"Us" who?
Tango Bravo,
mission accomplished!
Thanks, Chief!
-I invited Karine.
-Karine? From the optician's?
Yes, she's bringing me
the media report files.
-Right. On a Saturday?
-Yes, why not?
This damn thing...
She's allowed to work
on Saturdays, isn't she?
-Sure, but Annie won't like that.
-Well, I don't like her editor!
I'm not a brave man.
I'll leave before the explosion.
-See you.
-See you.
Hello?
Well, I've seen what I wanted to see.
-Your data is very convincing.
-Thank you.
-Want another drink?
-With pleasure.
Wait, I'll help you.
It's fine.
-There you go.
-Thank you.
Having an office in a van
is quite original.
Yeah, there was so much
going on at home.
-Well, with your wife's success...
-Exactly.
You always have wonderful ideas.
And such great taste!
-Stop exaggerating!
-Your latest collection proves it.
Some great ideas!
Well, I worked hard on it.
-Want my opinion?
-Sure.
You can tell!
-Really?
-Yes.
One moment. Excuse me.
-Sure.
-You have no idea
how reassuring it is
for a man like me
to meet someone
who truly understands him.
You're such a great guy.
I'm sure you know
how to treat a woman right.
No, you have much too high
of an opinion of me.
No, women are good
at knowing these things.
-Are we leaning to the side?
-Sorry?
-Aren't we leaning?
-Yes, let's lean over.
No, I think
we're actually leaning over!
Hello.
Hello!
They let you go?
-You're leaving?
-Yes.
For long?
Three days in Frankfurt
for a German TV channel.
-Who will look after the kids?
-My mom, as usual.
I could do it.
Well, that's new!
What happened?
Is your couple's camping trip over?
Come on, don't start imagining...
I'm not imagining anything,
but you disappeared for two days,
so I made other arrangements.
-You can't take that!
-Why not?
-It's too fancy!
-Mind your own business.
-I'm still your husband!
-Oh, really?
Sorry if that bothers you!
Stop acting all high and mighty!
Honestly!
Evening gowns, cocktail parties,
TV interviews, trips to Frankfurt...
That's quite a whirlwind,
you silly girl!
As for your new crowd,
your editor, your agent...
What's wrong
with my editor and my agent?
-I'd rather not talk about it.
-Fine, let's talk about you then!
I'm sick of Mr. Big CEO in
his little factory and little glasses
who's really
just a pathetic chauvinist!
-Well, there's nothing else to say.
-That's right.
I think you'll agree that the
best solution for us is to divorce.
-Absolutely.
-Fine, you asked for it!
I may be just
a pathetic, little Mr. CEO,
but you're a little frog
who wants to be as big as an ox!
Bravo!
You're quoting La Fontaine now!
I sure am!
-That's my toothpaste!
-It's mine too!
Give me that!
-Where's the cap?
-Gone.
What do I do?
Just cover the end with your thumb.
Have a nice trip, honey!
-That radio is mine.
-No, it's not.
-We bought it, but I picked it.
-I paid for it.
-How civil!
-Go to hell!
You prove my point.
Bye, Mom.
I'll call you when I arrive.
Bye, honey.
Don't worry, I'll be here.
Bye, Mrs. Pain in the Ass!
-You can't talk to her that way!
-I don't give a shit.
I'm polite with your mom!
-You know how corny she is.
-My mom isn't "corny"!
You were late.
We almost missed the plane!
Sorry, my husband showed up
at home unexpectedly.
Again? This guy's always at home!
Doesn't he have a job?
That's none of your business!
Anyway, it's ridiculous to arrive
an hour early before a flight.
You're like my grandfather.
Thanks a lot! I've heard it all
from my authors,
but I've never
been called a grandfather!
-Champagne, ma'am?
-No, thank you.
Yes, please serve her some!
Maybe it'll make her more civil!
So, she kicked you out?
Got nowhere else to go?
And your suitcase is in your trunk?
Go get it then.
Yes? Come in!
Come in!
It's the man who's
just like your grandfather.
I wanted to make sure
my favorite author was comfortable.
Yes, thank you.
Sorry about earlier, but...
things aren't great for me right now.
What's the matter?
My husband and I split up
this afternoon.
It's pretty sad.
What if I said all my authors
go through the same thing?
I'd say I don't care.
Come now, my dear.
You shouldn't get discouraged
just because of a husband who...
Well, just because of a husband...
That's nothing to be...
-Yes. What's up with you?
-Nothing, it doesn't matter!
-I just think that...
-Yes.
That was so good!
-Don't exaggerate.
-It was, I swear! You're great.
You know, I dream about you.
You're a girl
so full of talent, charm, life...
Do you say that
to all your authors?
It's not your editor speaking.
It's me as a man.
Just a simple man,
a man with experience, who says,
"Forget it all for one night,
don't fight against it,
"just give in,
let yourself be surprised..."
Oh?
Hello?
Yes.
What?
Hello?
Mom, is that you?
What's the matter?
What!
That's not possible.
All right, I'm coming.
I'll get on the next flight.
All right.
-Reception, please.
-What are you doing?
My son has to be operated
for appendicitis!
I'm going back to Paris.
Absolutely not! We're meeting
the German press tomorrow!
Didn't you hear what I said?
I have to get back to my son!
Hello, reception? Could you get me
a seat on a flight to Paris?
You expect us to take
women seriously?
Your kid sneezes,
and you drop everything!
I don't care what you think!
Yes, the next flight.
I forbid you from leaving!
I couldn't care less!
What are you doing?
I won't let you
ruin your career like this!
If you knew what I think
of my damn career!
You have no right!
You bastard!
Exploiter! Manipulator!
Don't touch me!
You feral thing! Damn whore!
That's it. I can't see anything!
-Help me!
-What's wrong?
-Help me find them.
-Find what?
My contact lenses.
Careful! Don't step on them!
This is the last time
I edit for a damn woman!
How am I expected to find
my contact lenses
when I'm not wearing any?
The French, what damn clients!
That doesn't go there.
It goes... There,
I think it goes on this side.
Don't forget my rabbit's carrots.
Make sure you grate them.
Don't worry.
Hiya!
-Hello, honey.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-Are you feeling all right?
-Awesome.
-I brought you a puzzle.
-Mom did too.
Yes, I can see that.
Well, now you have two.
-When can you leave?
-I don't know.
-When can I leave?
-In two days.
In two days.
Visiting hours are over.
But I just got here!
I didn't have time for lunch.
I'm very busy!
I'm very busy too.
Everyone's very busy.
-Bye, honey.
-Bye.
Are you sad to be alone?
Not at all.
Just turn the TV on before you go.
Here.
-I don't know what to say.
-Then say nothing.
-We have things to discuss!
-Like what?
-Did you pick a lawyer?
-Mr. Tarmant.
-That's my lawyer!
-Well, mine too.
I forbid you from picking Tarmant!
He's my friend.
He came to the house so often...
Well, your house is my house too!
-He accepted?
-Yes!
-That's insane!
-Why?
Insane! He'll be hearing from me!
I'm telling you!
-You could at least say goodbye.
-Goodbye.
Honey.
-Well, kids, have you made up?
-No, Mrs. Pain in the Ass.
And we never will!
Mrs. Pain in the Ass warns you
not to count on her for babysitting!
-Are you nuts? I need you!
-I'm tired of being insulted!
But you know what he's like!
You're used to it.
I'll babysit your kids, but not his!
-When will Dad come back?
-I don't know.
That evasive ball,
and men struggling to keep control
and to control their own balance.
Look at those hard tackles,
and we wonder... Oh, my God!
...if they can get up again.
But up they get again.
Luckily for Béziers,
the best players
always keep an eye out.
For now, the score is still
at 18 to 4, proving the superior...
Do you love me?
In these conditions,
we should praise both teams
and salute Béziers' men...
We're not sitting
in front of the TV all day, are we?
... capable of surpassing themselves
to cross over their opponent's line.
These weekend sports men
are true men.
And now,
he has just grabbed the ball
and escaped Libourne's players!
He's coming out the side!
He takes a shot!
Stop it! You'll make me deaf!
-I can't hear anything.
-It's there, I swear.
It goes...
No, it's more of a...
That's normal!
Look, Mrs. Larcher,
let me tell you something:
nothing ever works at your house.
Either your foundation is rotten,
or you've been cursed,
and it's not a plumber you need,
it's an exorcist!
There you are!
Do you know what your wife did?
-My wife?
-She dared come here this afternoon!
What did she say?
I wasn't here. But look!
HONEY, WE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU,
YOUR WIFE AND KIDS
How did she get in?
She told the concierge
she was an inspector,
to exterminate rats!
And that old bitch believed her!
Are you helping me or not?
That makes you laugh, you bastard?
You still love your damn wife.
You know what you are?
A stick-in-the-mud boss
and a rotten middle-class moron!
Where are you going?
I'll send a painter tomorrow. Bye.
Damn it.
Yeah, for dinner.
Don't worry.
-Yay, it's Dad!
-I'll call you back!
-Did you watch the match?
-Yes, I did! What about you?
-Come on! Did you work hard?
-Yeah, a bit.
-You've grown.
-Really?
I have things for you in the car.
Go get them, quick!
Good evening.
Good evening.
-You idiot.
-You creep.
Bad writer.
Pathetic CEO.
Damn, rotten, piece of shit
German machinery!
The boiler just exploded.
-You can't do without me, can you?
-Alas!