Take Care of Your Scarf, Tatiana (1994) - full transcript
Lugubrious Finns Valto and Reino take to the road in search of coffee and vodka, without which their lives are not worth living. But their reveries are interrupted by the arrival of garrulous Russian Klaudia and Estonian Tatiana - who are clearly interested in the two men, despite the language barrier. But what are the chances of getting a response from men who prefer staring at vodka bottles to talking?
TAKE CARE YOUR SCARF, TATJANA
Mom, we're out of coffee!
Tomorrow, Valto.
Valto! Let me out of here.
Valto!
Two large coffees.
Hello.
- Hello.
What's that?
A 12-volt car coffee-maker, dummy.
You fixed my car?
Yeah.
- Jump in, let's go for a test drive.
I'd rather charge you first.
Payer...
Reiman, Valdemar.
Items...
New engine-
and repairing it.
Parts...
Seven hundred.
Labor...
Eleven hundred and three.
Total:
Eighteen hundred and three.
OK, eighteen hundred.
Move yourass said Johnny Cash.
It's making extra sounds.
It still needs some fine tuning.
Then this farmer starts mouthing off, -
grabbing me by the collar
and getting me mad, damn it.
So I punched him.
Busted his nose and chipped his tooth.
Still got the marks to show for it, see?
Makes it hard to change a fan belt,
my finger's so stiff, -
but it'll get better.
I had to go back there and into court.
This old rocker had them staring.
I guess they'd never seen one before.
Those Lapland dudes were bug-eyed.
Then the judge slapped a fine on me.
Fifteen hundred, plus eight hundred
for the guy's nose and tooth.
No kidding.
I'll be damned if I'll pay,
eight hundred, that's half a Volga!
His teeth were already like Roman ruins.
They sent me some papers but
I used them in the toilet.
Drawing paper
for the neighbour's kid.
You ever been to Lapland?
- No.
Don't go. It's hell of a place.
Nothing there but reindeer.
And them damn hayseeds
mooching around.
If you're looking for some hot action,
head south for Ibiza.
You get real cheap trips there nowadays.
I'm tired.
Let's stop for coffee.
There's a bar.
See those two dumb Finns there?
Let's get them to take us to the harbor.
Let's get on with it!
Comrades! Our bus broke down.
Can you take us to the harbor?
Speak Finnish
so you'll understand too.
Sorry, I speak a little this Finnish.
Can you kindly take us to the harbor?
We are late already.
So climb in the limo.
Coffee!
- At once.
Let's have a shot.
Hey, rube,
milked any chickens lately?
Stow it, bub, I've been in court.
I'll bust you one.
Moving to town don't make you a rocker.
You've got Brylcreem on the brain.
Girls go for Brylcreem.
There are some Helsinki rockers.
It wouldn't be my first rumble
with them, but not just now.
They come here to dances,
and to strut their stuff.
Our kolkhoz set a five-year
potato crop record.
Over 30,000 kilos in a single week.
There was a dance that saturday.
I had this red, tight-fitting dress.
They kept me dancing all night long.
Estonia also grows a lot of potatoes
in the summer.
Talk to them, Tatjana, introduce us.
I'm Tatjana from Estonia.
My friend Klavdia
is from Alma Ata, Russia.
We're going to Tallinn.
Who are you?
A room.
One single or two doubles,
or an extra bed?
Yes.
Fill these out.
Borrow these.
Our men are talkative.
They take their wives or girlfriends
to fine restaurant.
Reino!
Let's go to the restaurant.
Four tickets.
Twelve marks.
I was with some guys at a ski meet
in Czechoslovakia in sixty-two.
When we left to come back the guys
stopped the bus in Hradec Karlove-
to go look at some crazy ruins.
Even though we had over
40 bottles of vodka.
I threw a fit when they got back,
I said, what is this anyway.
There's ruins back home. You got to
come here to go staring at them?
I don't get it.
A bus full of vodka-
and they were looking at ruins.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Vepa and Pepe sing Anyushka.
Stupid chicks.
This coffee's a ruin.
Where we're from
you'd be called bigmouths.
I'm going to bed.
Good night.
Hold it, it's seventy six-marks.
There is seventy here.
There.
Thanks for the earrings.
I'll never forget you for this.
Fill her up.
The number 14 wrench is the most common.
You need one all the time.
And the number ten.
The nine's no use with cars.
I got a whole set at home.
- Me too, in the garage.
That belt fits the Husqvarna model.
Half the price of the original.
There's no spark plug.
- Where?
In the sewing machine.
- There is in the gas-powered model.
Yes, but with a number 14
you can ever open beer bottles.
I know about these Finnish dummies.
All they do is stare at those gadgets.
Even if they do say
"Make haste slowly"-
we're getting nowhere with them.
They're cheaper
because they're smaller.
I'm getting bored. How about you?
This is a pretty tough life.
I figure rockers don't live long.
Volodya was a rat.
Hardly ever at home.
Dragged all these bums back with him.
People laughed right at my face.
And yet, sometimes... I don't know.
Can we afford to offer them tea?
And sandwiches,
how much are they?
And four teas.
We want to treat tea since it's
our last evening together.
You've been very kind,
comrades.
You've been nice.
This means cementing of fellowship
between our two nations.
To your health!
Now I take a souvenir picture of you.
We're closing.
Hit the road, hicks.
Can it, creampuff, or
I'll clobber you.
Let's go, you dopes,
the boat's leaving!
How do we get there?
- Follow those tracks.
Good-bye, comrades,
and thank you for everything!
Danke.
You ever been abroad, Valto?
- Nope.
Any cash?
My wallet's a ruin.
Some. How come?
We ought to head home.
Well.
- Well that?
Well, let's go.
I'm staying here with Tatjana.
I'll write.
A small coffee.
Quiet, those are rockers playing.
Translation: Erkki Astala
Subtitles: Janne Kauppila
Mom, we're out of coffee!
Tomorrow, Valto.
Valto! Let me out of here.
Valto!
Two large coffees.
Hello.
- Hello.
What's that?
A 12-volt car coffee-maker, dummy.
You fixed my car?
Yeah.
- Jump in, let's go for a test drive.
I'd rather charge you first.
Payer...
Reiman, Valdemar.
Items...
New engine-
and repairing it.
Parts...
Seven hundred.
Labor...
Eleven hundred and three.
Total:
Eighteen hundred and three.
OK, eighteen hundred.
Move yourass said Johnny Cash.
It's making extra sounds.
It still needs some fine tuning.
Then this farmer starts mouthing off, -
grabbing me by the collar
and getting me mad, damn it.
So I punched him.
Busted his nose and chipped his tooth.
Still got the marks to show for it, see?
Makes it hard to change a fan belt,
my finger's so stiff, -
but it'll get better.
I had to go back there and into court.
This old rocker had them staring.
I guess they'd never seen one before.
Those Lapland dudes were bug-eyed.
Then the judge slapped a fine on me.
Fifteen hundred, plus eight hundred
for the guy's nose and tooth.
No kidding.
I'll be damned if I'll pay,
eight hundred, that's half a Volga!
His teeth were already like Roman ruins.
They sent me some papers but
I used them in the toilet.
Drawing paper
for the neighbour's kid.
You ever been to Lapland?
- No.
Don't go. It's hell of a place.
Nothing there but reindeer.
And them damn hayseeds
mooching around.
If you're looking for some hot action,
head south for Ibiza.
You get real cheap trips there nowadays.
I'm tired.
Let's stop for coffee.
There's a bar.
See those two dumb Finns there?
Let's get them to take us to the harbor.
Let's get on with it!
Comrades! Our bus broke down.
Can you take us to the harbor?
Speak Finnish
so you'll understand too.
Sorry, I speak a little this Finnish.
Can you kindly take us to the harbor?
We are late already.
So climb in the limo.
Coffee!
- At once.
Let's have a shot.
Hey, rube,
milked any chickens lately?
Stow it, bub, I've been in court.
I'll bust you one.
Moving to town don't make you a rocker.
You've got Brylcreem on the brain.
Girls go for Brylcreem.
There are some Helsinki rockers.
It wouldn't be my first rumble
with them, but not just now.
They come here to dances,
and to strut their stuff.
Our kolkhoz set a five-year
potato crop record.
Over 30,000 kilos in a single week.
There was a dance that saturday.
I had this red, tight-fitting dress.
They kept me dancing all night long.
Estonia also grows a lot of potatoes
in the summer.
Talk to them, Tatjana, introduce us.
I'm Tatjana from Estonia.
My friend Klavdia
is from Alma Ata, Russia.
We're going to Tallinn.
Who are you?
A room.
One single or two doubles,
or an extra bed?
Yes.
Fill these out.
Borrow these.
Our men are talkative.
They take their wives or girlfriends
to fine restaurant.
Reino!
Let's go to the restaurant.
Four tickets.
Twelve marks.
I was with some guys at a ski meet
in Czechoslovakia in sixty-two.
When we left to come back the guys
stopped the bus in Hradec Karlove-
to go look at some crazy ruins.
Even though we had over
40 bottles of vodka.
I threw a fit when they got back,
I said, what is this anyway.
There's ruins back home. You got to
come here to go staring at them?
I don't get it.
A bus full of vodka-
and they were looking at ruins.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Vepa and Pepe sing Anyushka.
Stupid chicks.
This coffee's a ruin.
Where we're from
you'd be called bigmouths.
I'm going to bed.
Good night.
Hold it, it's seventy six-marks.
There is seventy here.
There.
Thanks for the earrings.
I'll never forget you for this.
Fill her up.
The number 14 wrench is the most common.
You need one all the time.
And the number ten.
The nine's no use with cars.
I got a whole set at home.
- Me too, in the garage.
That belt fits the Husqvarna model.
Half the price of the original.
There's no spark plug.
- Where?
In the sewing machine.
- There is in the gas-powered model.
Yes, but with a number 14
you can ever open beer bottles.
I know about these Finnish dummies.
All they do is stare at those gadgets.
Even if they do say
"Make haste slowly"-
we're getting nowhere with them.
They're cheaper
because they're smaller.
I'm getting bored. How about you?
This is a pretty tough life.
I figure rockers don't live long.
Volodya was a rat.
Hardly ever at home.
Dragged all these bums back with him.
People laughed right at my face.
And yet, sometimes... I don't know.
Can we afford to offer them tea?
And sandwiches,
how much are they?
And four teas.
We want to treat tea since it's
our last evening together.
You've been very kind,
comrades.
You've been nice.
This means cementing of fellowship
between our two nations.
To your health!
Now I take a souvenir picture of you.
We're closing.
Hit the road, hicks.
Can it, creampuff, or
I'll clobber you.
Let's go, you dopes,
the boat's leaving!
How do we get there?
- Follow those tracks.
Good-bye, comrades,
and thank you for everything!
Danke.
You ever been abroad, Valto?
- Nope.
Any cash?
My wallet's a ruin.
Some. How come?
We ought to head home.
Well.
- Well that?
Well, let's go.
I'm staying here with Tatjana.
I'll write.
A small coffee.
Quiet, those are rockers playing.
Translation: Erkki Astala
Subtitles: Janne Kauppila