Tad: The Explorer (2012) - full transcript
Tad is a celebrity archeologist and adventurer just like his hero Max Mordon... in his dreams! In reality, Tad is a Chicago construction worker. One day, however, he is mistaken for a real Professor and takes his place on a flight to Peru in search of the Lost City of Paititi. Professor Lavrof and his beautiful daughter Sara are waiting for the famous professor to crack the code. Unfortunately for Tad, Sara is engaged to real-life hero Max Mordon, but Max has secretly betrayed the Professor by teaming up with the evil Kopponen and his shady Odysseus corporation. Time for Tad to step up.
This is Eagle 107, Eagle 107.
Approaching, Delta target.
Eagle 107 to base.
Eagle 107 to base.
We found, found it.
Hey guys, the lost canyon is real.
Tad, dinner's ready.
In a minute. The Explorer's
just landed at the excavation site.
107 equipment to the base.
Digging started.
Yo Tad, you found some treasure?
Not yet.
Dude, you find anything.
Looser.
- Tad, dinner's getting cold.
- Coming.
One, two and three.
Gold? Gold.
Gold. I found my
first treasure.
We Want You for the
archeology elite.
It's one of your father's cufflinks. He
always said they were his lucky pair.
Finally. I'm not a loser.
You sure aren't.
Good night, Tad.
Wait. You gotta check
for monsters, first.
I almost forgot.
Clear
Clear
All clear.
Dad wasn't afraid of anything, was he?
- Sure he was
But he had courage
to face his fears.
What exactly was he afraid of?
...that his little boy never got to sleep on time.
Sweet dreams, my little boy.
You'll be the best treasure hunter
,when you grow up.
Oh this is not good. Grandmother?
You know what bandaged face? Some day
I will grow up, and then you won't scare me.
Stop.
Download that moron before he
gets hurt
Or worse. I get sued.
Hey, boy. you're back. Super cookie!
Tad, this is your final warning.
Stop goofing-off!
But there could be important stuff
down there.
For the last time. You're a construction worker. Not an archaeologist.
And stop bringing this
mangey mut to work.
He's not a mangey mut. Jeff was
named after Thomas Jefferson...
who is considered the forefather
of American archeology.
Interesting factoid, right?
Don't you think?
Here's another interesting factoid.
You're fired!
Tad, man. You can't keep
doing this.
This is the seventh time you've
been fired this year.
Well, I can't be
fired forever.
How you gonna cover your rent and pay for gas?
And buy dog food?
Do not worry about me, guys.
I've really got something here, I can feel it.
See ya'.
Metropolitan Museum.
- Hey Tad.
- How're you doin', Melinda?
Hey, it's Max Mordon.
- I'm his number one fan.
- Really?
Is Professor Humbert here?
I need him to authenticate anything.
Yes, he's in his office. And take
him this while you're at it. It's urgent.
Urgent, humm? Jeff,
you have to wait here.
Come on Tad, they're dead.
They are not zombies.
Thadeus, what brings you in today?
Did you make another one of your discoveries?
The discovery! I found at
the new metro station site, today.
I'm sure this is my first
step to being the next Max Mordon.
Don't even mention that creadon. He turns
archeology into a media circus.
Let me see.
Second hand dealings not my field
but let me have a look see.
I read they're worth a fortune. I'll gonna' buy
the best archeological equipment...
- Unfortunately, it's just a replica.
- What?
Are you sure?
A limited edition of 1999.
Do not feel bad. As
Thomas Jefferson said...
in a thousand years will be a
valuable archaeological find.
Thadeus, my boy. I'm sure
you'll find something valuable one day.
Don't ever stop dreaming. Keep moving on
like a rolling stone.
Is that fromThomas Jefferson, too? No it's
from Bob Dylan, but it's perfect, huh?
Thank you Professor. But after finding
a fake Coke bottle
a piece of moon rock made of wood,
an Etruscan a vase, made in China...
My dreams are shattered.
- Oh, I almost forgot. It's urgent.
- Lavrof.
Paititi. This crazy old man has
found Paititi!
He found what?
I can't believe it,
he found it.
I've been waiting for this moment
for more than 30 years, Thadeus
Man you're patient.
A key.
More like half key. Now it
seems that 30 years later...
Professor Lavrof has found
the other half.
That's why he wants me to go to Peru.
Wouldn't it be cheaper
to just with FedEx it?
Thadeus, this is the key to the
golden city of Paititi.
The biggest archaeological discovery
since King Tut's tomb.
Really? Awsome!
- Rats!
- What?
The plane ticket is for today, 7 PM
That's about two hours.
- What am I going to do?
- Don't worry about a thing.
Tad Stone, on the case.
So, tell me more about Paititi.
See Thadeus, according to legend...
500 years ago, when
the Incas discovered
that the Spaniards wanted
take all their gold...
they asked Mother
Nature for help.
Mother Nature told them to take all the
their gold to a secret place, Paititi.
Once there, they hid
treasure, and in exchange...
Mother nature gave them a
magic golden statue.
Gold Indian of Paititi. A
statue with magic powers.
Whoever guards it will be blessed
with the gift of immortality.
So that they do believe
that they live in the Lost City
thanks to the magic power
of the Golden Indian.
So they are still alive?
It's just a legend, Thadeus.
But these tablets prove,
that the city exists.
Run. They're gonna'
close the gates.
Here, take this... as a momento.
Belonged to Indiana Jones.
Indiana Jones?
Never heard of him, but
Thanks that's cool.
Good luck with your trip.
Do you like it, Jeff?
Drop it.
Professor wait.
Final boarding call for Doctor
Jeremiah Humbert. Doctor Jeremiah Humbert...
Professor, your bag
CAUTION! Slippery, wet floor
Professor.
We need a medic.
Are you OK?
- Yes, I'm fine I just need my pills.
- Pills? Yes, right a way.
Thanks, Thadeus. I do not know what
I'd do without my blue pills.
Your blue pills?
- Pills for blood.
- Sleeping pills.
I'm feeling better already. Nothing can
stop me from getting on that plane.
Professor.
I've identified the target. He has the
tablet, I'm sending his photo.
Perfect, I'll report it to the boss.
Proceed with the plan.
Sir, we've got access to the mass chamber.
- Hello, are you an angel?
- He'll be fine. Relax.
We'll take him to the hospital
and pump his stomach.
Ok, I'll go with him.
He just needs to rest for a few days
don't worry.
Take your flight Professor.
I take good care of him.
There are still hidden
archaeological finds...
in the most isolated places on the planet...
Jewels waiting to be discovered
that will shed light on mankind's past.
Most of them see the light through
the man of exceptional qualities...
Sir Maximilian Mordon, possibly
greatest explorer of our time.
Max Mordon on the case.
Max Mordon on the case.
Professor Humbert can say what he
wants, but Max is Mordon the bomb..
This program is sponsored by Super
rich, super flavor, super health.
The best for your
, dog super cookies.
- No, Jeff, stop it.
- Would you care for more coffee, professor?
Thanks.
Professor Lavrof?
Professor, Lavrof. Great to see you.
Nice to meet you, professor Humbert.
- I'm not Professor Humbert.
- Perfect, I'm not Professor Lavrof, either.
He sent me to pick you...
I mean Humbert... up.
Well, Professor Humbert sent me
in his place.
I'm Tad Stone.
I mean, Professor Stone. I'll
take good care of you, Professor Stone.
- By the way, is there anything you need?
- No thanks. I'm OK.
Come on, my friend.
Now, with Freddy.
If you make a purchase in the next two
minutes, included at no extra cost...
a digital bathroom scale, or a
special cream
whale meat completely
free of charge
Not interested in any
these products? No problem.
Come on, boss. I got a
family to feed.
Okay okay. I'll take this.
Now.Take it.
Smart choice, boss. The best
frisbee thrower made in China.
Lifetime Warranty. Thousands
different uses.
Thousands? For what? This is
part of the magic of the product.
You have to find out,
for yourself.
Look, here comes the
boss lady.
Hey wait! Let me go!
- Where is the professor?
- Over there. Those guys took him and...
Oh my God, they're kidnapping
Professor Humbert.
Not Humbert. He is...
Nice mutt.
The stone tablet.
This is his back pack.
Listen, boss lady I...
C'mon, Freddy, to the car.
This is...
No but's Freddy. We
we can't let them go.
Come on, Freddy run!
You're robbing the wrong man.
I'm broke. I just got fired.
Shut up.
- Give me the tablet.
- What tablet?
We know you have it, Professor.
Ok, A-I'm not a professor,
I am a bricklayer.
And B, I don't have it.
And C, I know where it is.
Step on it! Faster! You want us
to get killed, boss lady?
No way. Ok,
How much do you want?
Two hundred euros. And I get myself out of here, with my ex-wife and my savings.
I'm not Professor Humbert.
I swear.
Professor HUMBERT.
There's a perfecty logical explanation
for this.
There is also a logical explanation
for that too.
Wait. Before you turn my face into
a Frappuccino...
Check-out my passport.
Cavalry, Freddy.
At your service.
Hey, Jeff. You're OK.
- OK, you're not Professor Humbert.
- That boss lady is what I've been trying to tell you.
My name is Stones.
Tad Stones. Professor Stones.
- Humbert sent me in his place.
- Really?
That's weird. He never
mentioned any Stones.
Last minute thing.
And you, who are you?
I'm Sarah Lavrof. Professor Lavrof's
Daughter.
How long have you been working with
Professor Humbert?
- Not so long. I'm new.
- Oh great, a rookie.
Yes, well. But I've been digging
since I was five.
You don't look like a
professor of anything.
- That's because I am a man of action.
- Oh really? Check-out G.I. Joe.
Is that kind of
welcome normal here?
What do these guys want?
Well, obviously
Humbert's tablet. They
must know you have it.
You're in grave danger.
Ah, it's OK. They
don't scare me.
Jeff stop!
Oh my god.
Ah don't worry, my room's pretty much
like this sometimes.
Do not be a fool. Those
guys broke in.
Jeff, come here.
Belzoni.
- Give me that.
- Belzoni, what are you doing here?
Here trade. Super Cookie.
What's this?
Dear daughter. Take care of this.
I'm going to Machu Picchu.
Do not let it
fall into the wrong hands.
- Tad, bring your bachpack here.
- Yes, I'm coming!
- Hey, isn't that...
- The other half of the tablet.
What's it say? I don't know. It's
in ancient Chimu.
My father and Humbert are
the only
remaining Chimu experts in the world.
Belzoni, why are we going
to Machu Picchu? Why?
Come on bird. Speak up!
What do you want?
He's mute. And don't call
him bird.
He get's offended.
Just our luck. A mute
parrot with an attitude problem.
Buzz off!
Belzoni, focus.
He's put on weight?
He had a heart attack?
He choked on a chicken bone
, peanuts, a hairball.
Someone's chasing him.
Who's chasing him, Belzoni
Belzoni, who?
Hey, that's the guy
in the SUV, who kidnapped me.
- We need to do something.
- So, what are you going to do?
Call the police?
And tell them what?
...that my father sent a mute
parrot with a message?
- No. I'm going to Machu Picchu.
- That sounds dangerous.
- Are you sure you shold go alone?
- Are you offering
to come along,
Professor Stone?
Well, offering... I wouldn't go
so far as to...
I'm in.
- Let me help you with that.
- Thanks.
No problem, I'm totally yours.
Totally.
Hey, what are you doing here?
I promised her father I'd
look out for his daughter.
And I get paid time and a half
when I travel.
As you know amigo, I have a
family to feed.
What time is it? Oh no.
Good. I missed today's episode of
My favorite series...
- the lonely passion of Amber.
- You'll live.
Yes, but will Amber
live after
her experimental brain transplant...
to help her forget Peter
who broke her heart?
What are you looking at?
I'm trying to figure out
what these signs mean.
Professor Lavrof has been
looking for this, all his life.
- Why do you call your dad, "professor"?
- As an archaeologist, he's the best. Totally.
Driven, 24/7. Which kind of gets in the
way of the father thing.
- They have the tablet, sir.
- Excellent.
It' ll be great to find the last...
- Miss Lavrof what an unexpected pleasure.
- Have we met before?
It's him! It's him!
- I need that tablet.
- Never.
Got it!
Thank you.
No, you won't escape.
No.
Way to go, Belzoni!
Stop that bird.
Cheap kitchenware.
The best in Peru.
I'm trying to make an
honest buck here.
Give it to me. Look out!
- It's on the roof.
- Got it. Follow me!
My bad.
- Tad, my God.
- I'm fine. Get the tablet.
Get your filthy paws off me.
- Where do you think you're going?
- Upstairs?
I'll give you a lift.
Tad!
We got it, sir.
The vehicles are ready.
Mission accomplished. Let's bug out..
Instant replay.
Odessus.
- Tad, I know who these guys are. These
goons are from Odessus.
- What's that?
Pirates. They mustn't
get the tablet.
Belzoni, here.
- Ha!
- What you are you laughing at?
Tad, look-out!
Run!
- We're alive.
- Yes. What's that smell?
It's not me, I swear.
They are in the last carriage. Get them,
I need that tablet.
- Who are these Odessus guys?
- They will seek treasures all over he world.
Those guys lie, steal and even murder
to get their hands on them.
And then sell everything to
the highest bidder.
They don't care about
history and culture.
They just want money and power.
Greedy pirates.
If they find Paititi, and the legend of
statue is true, they'll become immortal.
We'll stop them. We'll find
Paititi before they do.
Hey guys, we got company.
I think we lost them.
- They are not the only one's lost.
- Don't worry boss lady.
This state of the art GPS with advanced Llamavision will take us wherever you want.
...for a little extra.
- Come on, Freddy.
I have a family to feed.
Well, she's family, too.
Ok, Machu Picchu.
Come on my friends.
Machu Picchu?
- Wow awsome.
- Ok, let's get to work
On a second thought. I'll go to the village and grab some munchies while you guys get to work.
Ok, we'll meet you later.
Let's go Tad.
Oh No. We're late.
The Pirates of Odessus have been here first.
They must have taken my father.
- Don't worry Sarah, we'll find him.
- Thanks, Tad.
Let's look around. Maybe we can
find some clue where they've taken him.
Wait. This is Max Mordon.
- You got to meet Max Mordon?
- Well, actually I'm his number one fan.
- No, you're not. Because I am.
- Okay, sure, if you say so.
- Can you help here please?
- Yeah, sorry. But..
Look, I have a picture,
personally signed.
Me and Jeff stood in line for like 25
hours, just to get it.
Is this is a #1 fan stuff, or what?
- Who is Toad?
- He misunderstood my name.
- Anyway, how did you meet him?
- He was one of the Professor's students.
Is this guy your dad?
So this must be your
mother, she's pretty.
She was pretty.
She passed away. Now my
dad is all I have left.
I'm very sorry.
Hey, wait. The photo!
It was taken at
Nasca desert.
My father always said
these ruins showed the way to
Paititi; like
a map or something.
- But he never had the key for it.
- But we do.
The tablet is the key.
That's why Odessus
want it so badly.
So, the next stop...
The Nasca desert
And now. If you buy a treasure pack 3000
in the next two minutes...
you get a second one; shipping
and handling absolutely free...
terms and conditions apply
because of the 3000 packs...
It's market day, boss lady.
Look, I got a burger for you.
What's wrong, Belzoni?
On the left, look.
- It's them, Odessus.
- How did they find us?
Go!
Spread out, I want them alive.
Hey, come back. My balloon.
Get the white hawks.
Hit it, bird.
DO YOU EVEN.
- Do we really need to watch
this, Freddy?
- Of course, boss.
Today, Amber will find out the secret real
identity of her stepmother, Ginger.
Listen, they're about to say it.
Amber, you always believed
I was your mother...
but the truth is... I
I am your father.
What? Dear sensita.
This is best chapter ever!
The burgers are ready.
The Nasca desert must be
just over that mountain.
I am really looking forward to meeting
your father. I bet you're very proud of him.
It is not easy to be the daughter
of a scholar.
They always pay more
attention to their discoveries...
than to the people who love them..
When I was a kid, my father
was hardly ever at home.
I barely knew my parents.
When I was five, they
had a car accident.
My grandma raised me.
It was my dad's. It's
my good luck charm.
Sometimes...
I feel that he's not really gone.
Like he's still watching over me.
Oh! Check it out Jeff.
The Nasca desert.
Jeff are you all right?
Hey, guys, I think Jeff is sick.
What th...
- Come on, boy. What's wrong?
- Maybe he's hungry.
This has to be serious. He doesn't
react to super cookies.
Boss, we have a problem here.
- What's this, Jeff?
- A tracking device.
In their groin.
- Professor.
- Sara.
- I finally found you.
- You shouldn't be here.
- I've come to save you.
- Save me?
I think you're just as much of a
prisoner as I am.
Is that's all you have to say?
I come all this way from
Cuzco to get you.
- Me too.
- Who are you?
- Max, what are you doing here, are you all rightl?
- Yeah, don't worry.
These grave robbers have kidnapped me because I am the world's greatest expert in mummies and...
- and sarcophagi of ancient Egypt.
- Max Mordon, is it really you?
They had to kidnap this clown.
Of all people.
Sweetie, I've never been more
happy to see you.
- Me you.
- Me too. I'm your number one...
number two, fan.
And National Petro graphic
subscriber since I was five.
I didn't catch your name.
Toad, Tad Stone.
Professor Stone. Dr. Humbert
sent him in his place.
Professor? Really?
Hey, amigo. Nice machine gun,
but it looks old.
Don't worry my friend. Let me
introduce you to the brand new...
Hyper performance 250. 50 bullets and
two triggers for just...
What are you doing?
Dame, just give them what they want
and I'm sure they'll let us go.
Miss Lavrof may I have the
tablet, please?
You didn't bring it here,
did you?
Oh great, I can't believe it.
What's he doing?
This tablet is a key piece of the map
that leads to Paititi.
I've been waiting for this moment,
my whole life.
And now everything is in
hands of these pirates.
- Well, professor, your turn.
- Never. I prefer to die.
That won't work.
Ok, you win. Leave her alone.
From the black peak, the puma
sees the red star.
In the second moon of the rains, the water's
trail goes over the anaconda's skin ..
But don't trust the solid rock. For
sometimes the alpaca's soft hair is stronger.
The Red Star is Mars
of course, the second moon of rain is, April...
and Mars is in the northeastern quadrant
during that time.
There is a formation of
basaltic rocks here.
But don't trust the solid rock.
- The babbling of an old shaman.
- Got it.
Let's mobilize. I'll take
Mordon and the profesor.
The girl stays as collateral.
If her esteemed father doesn't cooperate,
she's dead, ok?
You better not lay a finger on her!
Sorry, sorry.
- Take care of yourself.
- Max on the case.
Trust me, dearest.
If anything happens to
my father, I'll never forgive myself
I got into archeology so
I could be closer to him.
We'll get out of here, trust me.
Don't trust the solid rock for
sometimes the alpaca's soft hair is stronger.
My father wouldn't ignore something like
that. What he was trying to tell me?
Don't even think about it, Freddy.
Of course not boss lady. I am
a businessman, not a thief.
And this is good business.
Check this out, there's something back there.
- Behind the wall?
- This is not a wall, This is a door.
Believe me, I know what
I am talking about.
That's it. Don't trust the
solid rock.
The tablet was just
the key to open it.
Help me Sara.
Freddy, can we get a hand here?
In a minute, I'm doing an inventory.
But, don't trust the solid rock for
sometimes the alpaca's soft hair is stronger.
This is alpaca wool.
And this is the real map to Paititi.
This is what my father
was trying to say.
- So the Odysseus guys
- ... are going to dig in the wrong place.
Well done Professor.
Hey buddy, how did you get in here?
Wait a minute, if your here
it means there has to be a way out
It's that way?
- What th...? -
- I didn't touch anything.
Jeff, we have to find a way out.
Hurry!
And I have to decifer the map.
Freddy do something, help Tad.
Thank goodness, I never
leave home without this.
What's that?
101 ways of how to avoid a
dying a horrible, miserable, escruciating, painful death.
Step one, determine the level of visible risk.
Are you seriously about to die?
Or just over-reacting?
Yes, we are over-reacting. Come on.
The serpent and the tree, that's it.
The snake's a river.
Step two remain calm.
Don't panic.
Panic leads to hysteria
hysteria and leads to
desparation, and
brings no solution.
Dah, Is there anything actually useful
in that book?
- Step three, think outside the box
- I would if we could get outside the box
Wait, I think Jeff has found...
The way out..
Spirals symbolize the air.
Air, wind. That's it!
Come on Jeff, focus.
Step one, stay calm.
- That was step two.
- Ok, step two.
You can't go on to second two,
without doing step one first.
And what was step one?
I'll have a look. all this excitement, I...
Trees are the earth, the river's water.
Earth, water, wind and fire.
- The mother of nature.
- Step one.
Forget it. Jeff, please
we have no time!
- Has the mut found the escape?
- I hope so.
Way to go Jeff.
Step Four: If you find the exit.
Use it.
Yes, yes, all the symbols
point to the jungle.
Odessus are digging in the desert.
I know where Paititi is, I know it.
Come on Sarah, let's get out of here.
- Well done Jeff, you did it, buddy..
- You're the best.
Hey, Belzoni. You're still
in one piece?
You love her too, don't you?
Ok step five, if escape is successful.
Turn around and go home.
- What?
- Yes, I've had enough.
We can't go now. The
golden statue musn't...
fall into the hands of Odessus.
Well if I could get a big bonus for...
working in these terrible
conditions...
Is that a "no"?
We need to move fast
before Kopponen
realizes they're
digging in the wrong place.
Freddy, can you drive
an excavator?
$ 35 per hour, plus
20 cents a mile..
Forget him, I'm an expert.
Hop on..
- How'd you learn to drive this thing?
- Oh in the metro works..
- The metro works?
- Yeah.
- Sara Look, the truth is...
- You worked on the Metropolitan Museum...
excavation project?
Wow. I'm impressed. They
only choose the best.
Yeah, that's how I roll.
No mother you can't die now.
You haven't finished your will yet.
- We'll spend the night here.
- Works for me, amigo.
Don't worry, I'm sure your
father will be alright.
I'm just glad Max is with him.
You must be excited about
marrying Max Morden...
possibly the most
eligible bachelor on earth.
Yeah, he's a good man:
he's funny, handsome, famous...
But he's such a workaholic;
a lot like my dad.
Well I'm sure he'll realize that
being successful can't make you happy
without someone you love to
share it with..
I hope so.
And you? Are you happy?
Sure, I'm living my
dream, of being an archaeologist.
- How could I not be happy?
- I like your attitude.
Most archaeologists I know are only
satisfied making big discoveries...
which if they're really lucky, it only comes
along once in a blue moon.
But you're different.
Are you for real?
Yep, I think so.
We should get some sleep.
We'll have a hard day tomorrow.
Sara, there's something I need
to tell you.
I'm not a real...
- You were saying?
- Never mind.
Good night.
- Hey, you, idiot.
- I think he means to you.
Better go before he turns
you into Chop Suey.
- Are you sure this is the place?
- Of course I'm sure.
And don't call me an idiot.
You gorilla!
...just trying to make it believable.
What if professor Lavrof lied?
Not to me. I'm practically
his son-in-law.
Exactly, he doesn't seem to
be fond of you.
- Are you sure he doesn't suspect?
- Trust me, I'm a celebrity.
According to the
hieroglyphics, this is it
But there aren't any ruins here.
It's been 500 years since
anyone laid foot here
The city must be hidden
under the vegetation.
If my prayers are answered, there will
be pretty much shovels waiting there too.
- Why don't we split up to look for it?
- I agree.
Jeff, come here boy.
Great, another day without customers.
Come on Jeff, nose to the ground.
Tad, watch out. We've seen a puma.
Really? No kidding?
Freddy, give me a hand.
Olé, maistro.
- Guys! Guys! I found it!
- What have you found?
I found the lost city.
24 hours digging and still nothing.
That old coot thinks he
can toy with us?
Make that idiot talk, now!
Oh my God, the symbol of Paititi.
It sounds hollow.
Gotcha.
And I'm not gonna let you go.
- Stop playing with us professor.
- This can't be the right place.
It must be really deep.
One, two, three, four...
Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
Wow, must be extremely deep.
Now what? An earthquake?
I should have listened to my horoscope.
And that little voice in my head.
"Do not get out of bed today."
We are in deep dog poop.
Sara.
I read the map, the city is real.
We found the entrance.
Ok, prepare everything. I want to be entering
that hole in 5 minutes.
Dearest, thank goodness you're all right.
I was so worried.
Ok, squad two go down
and clear the area.
Squad one, get
the girl and the professor.
Squad Four, take care of
those idiots. Tie them up.
Don't worry about us.
We'll be alright.
Hey, put that away from me
I know how to walk.
Are you stupid? We can't
let these guys live.
They're no threat, the Peruvian one
is a walking home shopping network.
And the man in the
hat is a brick layer.
A brick layer?
I don't care what the help they are. If they
escape, they could compromise the whole plan.
Coming, my sugar plum.
- Which one?
- Well, interesting.
I think, given the position of
the two entries...
- it's most likely to be...
- Even an idiot would recognize...
the Incas marks
The left one.
Wait, before you kill us, can we
have one last request?
A super cookie.
You, get out of there.
Hey, the birds!
- That's gotta hurt.
- Hasta la vista baby.
- And now to the temple.
- I'm not going down there.
They say there are very dead things
in those Inca temples.
Ok, then stay up here with
Jeff and Belzoni.
Great idea, boss.
Good luck down there.
Come on bird brain
let's play poker.
Help me dad.
Sara?
What was that?
Spirits from the other side.
Inca Spirits protesting the...
profaning of this place.
Tad?
- Don't get any closer.
- Should we kill him?
- Of course.
- Max?
- I mean, of course not.
- Of course, "yes".
He's evil Sara. He ordered those
goons to kill Freddy and me.
I hope you don't believe him.
He is a pathological liar.
I'm not lying, I
saw you giving the order.
Oh, so you're not lying? And when
you told Sara you're an archaeologist...
...you wern't lying either?
- Tad, what's he talking about?
- Come on, Professor Stone.
Tell Sara who you really are. He's
a construction worker.
A bricklayer. A nobody.
What? Tad, is that true?
Ok, yes, he's right, I lied to you.
I'm just a big phony.
- But you need to know...
- That's enough... Toad.
Can't we just kill him boss?
Boss? Max, what's going on?
We don't have time for this, Max.
Ok, Ok. Sara look, I'm doing this for me...
For us.
- For our future.
- You kidnapped my father?
It was necessary. We were never
planning to harm him.
You tried to kill Freddy and Tad.
Well, I can explain.
Sorry, sorry.
You're going to regret that.
Kopponen.
The only thing I regret is the day
I said I'd marry you.
And to think you were my roll model.
You're a fraud.
Shut up you monkey. Move.
How could I be so blind? How could
I fall in love with a guy like that?
It's not your fault.He fooled me, too.
He's a liar.
So are you. You've been lying to me
all this time.
I'm sorry Sarah. I tried
tell you the truth...
- But, I was afraid you wouldn't...
- Forget Tad, You lied to me.
I trusted you,
I really trusted you.
Sara, help me.
- Take my hand.
- Can you pull me up?
Sure I can, but first tell me if anything
you said about yourself was true.
I was the Max Mordon's #1 fan.
This must be the mummies' work.
They're alive, I've seen them.
Don't be silly. If they were
alive, they wouldn't be mummies.
- It's a contradiction in terms.
- Whatever they are.
- They're here. they're cheesed-off.
- Well done monkey.
You swine, you didn't care that we could
have been killed down there
To be honest darling, your father
is the one who I really need.
Now move.
Look, keepus.
The Incas used them to
keep track of their supplies.
White for silver, yellow for
gold and brown for bronze.
Oh don't look so shocked.
I'm not a total ignoramus.
So now what?
Look, there. That has to be the entrance
to the chamber of the golden statue.
Pulling the right keepu, is
our ticket in.
Professor, enlighten us.
Oh sure, like I'm gonna tell you.
Okay, fine you worthless old fart.
Yellow is gold.
The whole room is a booby trap.
Sara, professor, against the walls.
- But he does not know what...
- Just do it.
You idiot! Kopponen, kill him.
Tad, the red kepu.
That's the right one.
Sara.
So long, suckers.
Dad.
The golden statue.
Stop human. The golden idol
is off limits.
Prepare to die.
Ok, ok, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I protected this statue
for 500 years.
And you're not going to be
the one who steals it.
Forgive me, please.
I surrender.
- Please don't shoot me.
- Shoot you?
This isn't a gun,
It's just a...
Now I will get eternal life.
- Not so fast
- Get lost, Tad Stones.
Make me, Max "Moron".
- As you wish.
- Help, He..ll..p.
- Are you alright sir?
- You're a real life saver.
This bag, is already dead.
Do you think you gonna defeat my
new pet?
- Give it up, Toad.
- Fight me, Mordon.
- Max no.
- Sara, welcome to the show.
Today we're squashing a bug.
This is the last time I have
to worry about you...
pathetic bricklayer.
- Yes
- No
Too bad toad. Looser!
- Now, he's gonna be immortal.
- Don't get any closer, just wait.
I'm full of life!
What? What's
happening to me?
You may be immortal. But
not as you would expect.
This is the price for
eternal life, Max "Moron".
No, this can't be.
- Sara, help me.
- Get away from me.
Don't worry, you're still quite
handsome for a mummy, really.
You'll fit in right in here.
No, no, there must be an
antidote to reverse this curse.
No, there isn't. This is the reason
why the mummie' s still live.
Oh, oh, this is great, she's
got mummy issues, too.
Get some therapy, people.
Take him here.
Don't even think about it, Toad.
My name is Tad.
- What are you gonna do, kill him?
- Pretty pointless if you to think about it.
Oh my God, the treasure of the Incas.
It is rich!
Take him to our darkest cell.
He'll enjoy eternal jail.
What? No, no.
Who do you think you are talking to?
You can't do that. I'm Max Mordon...
I am the most famous
archaeologist in the world!
What are you planning on doing with us?
According to the manual,
You should become a mummy...
or die.
- Hey, I saved your life.
- But rules are rules.
If I let you go, could you guarantee me
you'll let us live in peace?
This is my most valuable treasure.
It belonged to my father.
Please take it.
This is my promise; no one will
ever find out about this place.
Keep it safe.
You're the best living people
I've ever met.
Well, this is goodbye.
- Have a good life.
- You too, I mean...
You know what I mean.
A mute parrot who is
also a card shark?
I must be cursed.
Now I have nothing, nothing!
- Money isn't everything.
- I am too broke to believe that.
Hey buddy.
Hey guys, you're back.
And alive!
- What happened to the bad guys?
- They... gone.
We didn't find anything.
Everything's over.
What about the golden statue?
And the treasure?
I afraid the legend of Paititi will
be keep being a legend for a long time.
So it was all for nothing?
We are not going to be rich and famous?
There's no need to be rich and famous
Freddy. There are better treasures.
The best one, is being
with the people you love.
Blah, blah, whatever you say.
How will I explain to my family that
I've traveled a 1000 miles...
just only to sell a stinking Swiss pincher?
Hey, I liked that Swiss pincher.
Hey, are you ok?
Yeah.
The Lost City remains lost.
By the way, we found so much more.
Sorry about Max. It's not going to be
easy to find another true hero.
- I already have.
- Really? Who?
Stones. Tad Stones.
- I dig you Sara.
- I dig you too, Tad.
Yo Jeff, through thick and thin,
huh buddy. Fetch.
Approaching, Delta target.
Eagle 107 to base.
Eagle 107 to base.
We found, found it.
Hey guys, the lost canyon is real.
Tad, dinner's ready.
In a minute. The Explorer's
just landed at the excavation site.
107 equipment to the base.
Digging started.
Yo Tad, you found some treasure?
Not yet.
Dude, you find anything.
Looser.
- Tad, dinner's getting cold.
- Coming.
One, two and three.
Gold? Gold.
Gold. I found my
first treasure.
We Want You for the
archeology elite.
It's one of your father's cufflinks. He
always said they were his lucky pair.
Finally. I'm not a loser.
You sure aren't.
Good night, Tad.
Wait. You gotta check
for monsters, first.
I almost forgot.
Clear
Clear
All clear.
Dad wasn't afraid of anything, was he?
- Sure he was
But he had courage
to face his fears.
What exactly was he afraid of?
...that his little boy never got to sleep on time.
Sweet dreams, my little boy.
You'll be the best treasure hunter
,when you grow up.
Oh this is not good. Grandmother?
You know what bandaged face? Some day
I will grow up, and then you won't scare me.
Stop.
Download that moron before he
gets hurt
Or worse. I get sued.
Hey, boy. you're back. Super cookie!
Tad, this is your final warning.
Stop goofing-off!
But there could be important stuff
down there.
For the last time. You're a construction worker. Not an archaeologist.
And stop bringing this
mangey mut to work.
He's not a mangey mut. Jeff was
named after Thomas Jefferson...
who is considered the forefather
of American archeology.
Interesting factoid, right?
Don't you think?
Here's another interesting factoid.
You're fired!
Tad, man. You can't keep
doing this.
This is the seventh time you've
been fired this year.
Well, I can't be
fired forever.
How you gonna cover your rent and pay for gas?
And buy dog food?
Do not worry about me, guys.
I've really got something here, I can feel it.
See ya'.
Metropolitan Museum.
- Hey Tad.
- How're you doin', Melinda?
Hey, it's Max Mordon.
- I'm his number one fan.
- Really?
Is Professor Humbert here?
I need him to authenticate anything.
Yes, he's in his office. And take
him this while you're at it. It's urgent.
Urgent, humm? Jeff,
you have to wait here.
Come on Tad, they're dead.
They are not zombies.
Thadeus, what brings you in today?
Did you make another one of your discoveries?
The discovery! I found at
the new metro station site, today.
I'm sure this is my first
step to being the next Max Mordon.
Don't even mention that creadon. He turns
archeology into a media circus.
Let me see.
Second hand dealings not my field
but let me have a look see.
I read they're worth a fortune. I'll gonna' buy
the best archeological equipment...
- Unfortunately, it's just a replica.
- What?
Are you sure?
A limited edition of 1999.
Do not feel bad. As
Thomas Jefferson said...
in a thousand years will be a
valuable archaeological find.
Thadeus, my boy. I'm sure
you'll find something valuable one day.
Don't ever stop dreaming. Keep moving on
like a rolling stone.
Is that fromThomas Jefferson, too? No it's
from Bob Dylan, but it's perfect, huh?
Thank you Professor. But after finding
a fake Coke bottle
a piece of moon rock made of wood,
an Etruscan a vase, made in China...
My dreams are shattered.
- Oh, I almost forgot. It's urgent.
- Lavrof.
Paititi. This crazy old man has
found Paititi!
He found what?
I can't believe it,
he found it.
I've been waiting for this moment
for more than 30 years, Thadeus
Man you're patient.
A key.
More like half key. Now it
seems that 30 years later...
Professor Lavrof has found
the other half.
That's why he wants me to go to Peru.
Wouldn't it be cheaper
to just with FedEx it?
Thadeus, this is the key to the
golden city of Paititi.
The biggest archaeological discovery
since King Tut's tomb.
Really? Awsome!
- Rats!
- What?
The plane ticket is for today, 7 PM
That's about two hours.
- What am I going to do?
- Don't worry about a thing.
Tad Stone, on the case.
So, tell me more about Paititi.
See Thadeus, according to legend...
500 years ago, when
the Incas discovered
that the Spaniards wanted
take all their gold...
they asked Mother
Nature for help.
Mother Nature told them to take all the
their gold to a secret place, Paititi.
Once there, they hid
treasure, and in exchange...
Mother nature gave them a
magic golden statue.
Gold Indian of Paititi. A
statue with magic powers.
Whoever guards it will be blessed
with the gift of immortality.
So that they do believe
that they live in the Lost City
thanks to the magic power
of the Golden Indian.
So they are still alive?
It's just a legend, Thadeus.
But these tablets prove,
that the city exists.
Run. They're gonna'
close the gates.
Here, take this... as a momento.
Belonged to Indiana Jones.
Indiana Jones?
Never heard of him, but
Thanks that's cool.
Good luck with your trip.
Do you like it, Jeff?
Drop it.
Professor wait.
Final boarding call for Doctor
Jeremiah Humbert. Doctor Jeremiah Humbert...
Professor, your bag
CAUTION! Slippery, wet floor
Professor.
We need a medic.
Are you OK?
- Yes, I'm fine I just need my pills.
- Pills? Yes, right a way.
Thanks, Thadeus. I do not know what
I'd do without my blue pills.
Your blue pills?
- Pills for blood.
- Sleeping pills.
I'm feeling better already. Nothing can
stop me from getting on that plane.
Professor.
I've identified the target. He has the
tablet, I'm sending his photo.
Perfect, I'll report it to the boss.
Proceed with the plan.
Sir, we've got access to the mass chamber.
- Hello, are you an angel?
- He'll be fine. Relax.
We'll take him to the hospital
and pump his stomach.
Ok, I'll go with him.
He just needs to rest for a few days
don't worry.
Take your flight Professor.
I take good care of him.
There are still hidden
archaeological finds...
in the most isolated places on the planet...
Jewels waiting to be discovered
that will shed light on mankind's past.
Most of them see the light through
the man of exceptional qualities...
Sir Maximilian Mordon, possibly
greatest explorer of our time.
Max Mordon on the case.
Max Mordon on the case.
Professor Humbert can say what he
wants, but Max is Mordon the bomb..
This program is sponsored by Super
rich, super flavor, super health.
The best for your
, dog super cookies.
- No, Jeff, stop it.
- Would you care for more coffee, professor?
Thanks.
Professor Lavrof?
Professor, Lavrof. Great to see you.
Nice to meet you, professor Humbert.
- I'm not Professor Humbert.
- Perfect, I'm not Professor Lavrof, either.
He sent me to pick you...
I mean Humbert... up.
Well, Professor Humbert sent me
in his place.
I'm Tad Stone.
I mean, Professor Stone. I'll
take good care of you, Professor Stone.
- By the way, is there anything you need?
- No thanks. I'm OK.
Come on, my friend.
Now, with Freddy.
If you make a purchase in the next two
minutes, included at no extra cost...
a digital bathroom scale, or a
special cream
whale meat completely
free of charge
Not interested in any
these products? No problem.
Come on, boss. I got a
family to feed.
Okay okay. I'll take this.
Now.Take it.
Smart choice, boss. The best
frisbee thrower made in China.
Lifetime Warranty. Thousands
different uses.
Thousands? For what? This is
part of the magic of the product.
You have to find out,
for yourself.
Look, here comes the
boss lady.
Hey wait! Let me go!
- Where is the professor?
- Over there. Those guys took him and...
Oh my God, they're kidnapping
Professor Humbert.
Not Humbert. He is...
Nice mutt.
The stone tablet.
This is his back pack.
Listen, boss lady I...
C'mon, Freddy, to the car.
This is...
No but's Freddy. We
we can't let them go.
Come on, Freddy run!
You're robbing the wrong man.
I'm broke. I just got fired.
Shut up.
- Give me the tablet.
- What tablet?
We know you have it, Professor.
Ok, A-I'm not a professor,
I am a bricklayer.
And B, I don't have it.
And C, I know where it is.
Step on it! Faster! You want us
to get killed, boss lady?
No way. Ok,
How much do you want?
Two hundred euros. And I get myself out of here, with my ex-wife and my savings.
I'm not Professor Humbert.
I swear.
Professor HUMBERT.
There's a perfecty logical explanation
for this.
There is also a logical explanation
for that too.
Wait. Before you turn my face into
a Frappuccino...
Check-out my passport.
Cavalry, Freddy.
At your service.
Hey, Jeff. You're OK.
- OK, you're not Professor Humbert.
- That boss lady is what I've been trying to tell you.
My name is Stones.
Tad Stones. Professor Stones.
- Humbert sent me in his place.
- Really?
That's weird. He never
mentioned any Stones.
Last minute thing.
And you, who are you?
I'm Sarah Lavrof. Professor Lavrof's
Daughter.
How long have you been working with
Professor Humbert?
- Not so long. I'm new.
- Oh great, a rookie.
Yes, well. But I've been digging
since I was five.
You don't look like a
professor of anything.
- That's because I am a man of action.
- Oh really? Check-out G.I. Joe.
Is that kind of
welcome normal here?
What do these guys want?
Well, obviously
Humbert's tablet. They
must know you have it.
You're in grave danger.
Ah, it's OK. They
don't scare me.
Jeff stop!
Oh my god.
Ah don't worry, my room's pretty much
like this sometimes.
Do not be a fool. Those
guys broke in.
Jeff, come here.
Belzoni.
- Give me that.
- Belzoni, what are you doing here?
Here trade. Super Cookie.
What's this?
Dear daughter. Take care of this.
I'm going to Machu Picchu.
Do not let it
fall into the wrong hands.
- Tad, bring your bachpack here.
- Yes, I'm coming!
- Hey, isn't that...
- The other half of the tablet.
What's it say? I don't know. It's
in ancient Chimu.
My father and Humbert are
the only
remaining Chimu experts in the world.
Belzoni, why are we going
to Machu Picchu? Why?
Come on bird. Speak up!
What do you want?
He's mute. And don't call
him bird.
He get's offended.
Just our luck. A mute
parrot with an attitude problem.
Buzz off!
Belzoni, focus.
He's put on weight?
He had a heart attack?
He choked on a chicken bone
, peanuts, a hairball.
Someone's chasing him.
Who's chasing him, Belzoni
Belzoni, who?
Hey, that's the guy
in the SUV, who kidnapped me.
- We need to do something.
- So, what are you going to do?
Call the police?
And tell them what?
...that my father sent a mute
parrot with a message?
- No. I'm going to Machu Picchu.
- That sounds dangerous.
- Are you sure you shold go alone?
- Are you offering
to come along,
Professor Stone?
Well, offering... I wouldn't go
so far as to...
I'm in.
- Let me help you with that.
- Thanks.
No problem, I'm totally yours.
Totally.
Hey, what are you doing here?
I promised her father I'd
look out for his daughter.
And I get paid time and a half
when I travel.
As you know amigo, I have a
family to feed.
What time is it? Oh no.
Good. I missed today's episode of
My favorite series...
- the lonely passion of Amber.
- You'll live.
Yes, but will Amber
live after
her experimental brain transplant...
to help her forget Peter
who broke her heart?
What are you looking at?
I'm trying to figure out
what these signs mean.
Professor Lavrof has been
looking for this, all his life.
- Why do you call your dad, "professor"?
- As an archaeologist, he's the best. Totally.
Driven, 24/7. Which kind of gets in the
way of the father thing.
- They have the tablet, sir.
- Excellent.
It' ll be great to find the last...
- Miss Lavrof what an unexpected pleasure.
- Have we met before?
It's him! It's him!
- I need that tablet.
- Never.
Got it!
Thank you.
No, you won't escape.
No.
Way to go, Belzoni!
Stop that bird.
Cheap kitchenware.
The best in Peru.
I'm trying to make an
honest buck here.
Give it to me. Look out!
- It's on the roof.
- Got it. Follow me!
My bad.
- Tad, my God.
- I'm fine. Get the tablet.
Get your filthy paws off me.
- Where do you think you're going?
- Upstairs?
I'll give you a lift.
Tad!
We got it, sir.
The vehicles are ready.
Mission accomplished. Let's bug out..
Instant replay.
Odessus.
- Tad, I know who these guys are. These
goons are from Odessus.
- What's that?
Pirates. They mustn't
get the tablet.
Belzoni, here.
- Ha!
- What you are you laughing at?
Tad, look-out!
Run!
- We're alive.
- Yes. What's that smell?
It's not me, I swear.
They are in the last carriage. Get them,
I need that tablet.
- Who are these Odessus guys?
- They will seek treasures all over he world.
Those guys lie, steal and even murder
to get their hands on them.
And then sell everything to
the highest bidder.
They don't care about
history and culture.
They just want money and power.
Greedy pirates.
If they find Paititi, and the legend of
statue is true, they'll become immortal.
We'll stop them. We'll find
Paititi before they do.
Hey guys, we got company.
I think we lost them.
- They are not the only one's lost.
- Don't worry boss lady.
This state of the art GPS with advanced Llamavision will take us wherever you want.
...for a little extra.
- Come on, Freddy.
I have a family to feed.
Well, she's family, too.
Ok, Machu Picchu.
Come on my friends.
Machu Picchu?
- Wow awsome.
- Ok, let's get to work
On a second thought. I'll go to the village and grab some munchies while you guys get to work.
Ok, we'll meet you later.
Let's go Tad.
Oh No. We're late.
The Pirates of Odessus have been here first.
They must have taken my father.
- Don't worry Sarah, we'll find him.
- Thanks, Tad.
Let's look around. Maybe we can
find some clue where they've taken him.
Wait. This is Max Mordon.
- You got to meet Max Mordon?
- Well, actually I'm his number one fan.
- No, you're not. Because I am.
- Okay, sure, if you say so.
- Can you help here please?
- Yeah, sorry. But..
Look, I have a picture,
personally signed.
Me and Jeff stood in line for like 25
hours, just to get it.
Is this is a #1 fan stuff, or what?
- Who is Toad?
- He misunderstood my name.
- Anyway, how did you meet him?
- He was one of the Professor's students.
Is this guy your dad?
So this must be your
mother, she's pretty.
She was pretty.
She passed away. Now my
dad is all I have left.
I'm very sorry.
Hey, wait. The photo!
It was taken at
Nasca desert.
My father always said
these ruins showed the way to
Paititi; like
a map or something.
- But he never had the key for it.
- But we do.
The tablet is the key.
That's why Odessus
want it so badly.
So, the next stop...
The Nasca desert
And now. If you buy a treasure pack 3000
in the next two minutes...
you get a second one; shipping
and handling absolutely free...
terms and conditions apply
because of the 3000 packs...
It's market day, boss lady.
Look, I got a burger for you.
What's wrong, Belzoni?
On the left, look.
- It's them, Odessus.
- How did they find us?
Go!
Spread out, I want them alive.
Hey, come back. My balloon.
Get the white hawks.
Hit it, bird.
DO YOU EVEN.
- Do we really need to watch
this, Freddy?
- Of course, boss.
Today, Amber will find out the secret real
identity of her stepmother, Ginger.
Listen, they're about to say it.
Amber, you always believed
I was your mother...
but the truth is... I
I am your father.
What? Dear sensita.
This is best chapter ever!
The burgers are ready.
The Nasca desert must be
just over that mountain.
I am really looking forward to meeting
your father. I bet you're very proud of him.
It is not easy to be the daughter
of a scholar.
They always pay more
attention to their discoveries...
than to the people who love them..
When I was a kid, my father
was hardly ever at home.
I barely knew my parents.
When I was five, they
had a car accident.
My grandma raised me.
It was my dad's. It's
my good luck charm.
Sometimes...
I feel that he's not really gone.
Like he's still watching over me.
Oh! Check it out Jeff.
The Nasca desert.
Jeff are you all right?
Hey, guys, I think Jeff is sick.
What th...
- Come on, boy. What's wrong?
- Maybe he's hungry.
This has to be serious. He doesn't
react to super cookies.
Boss, we have a problem here.
- What's this, Jeff?
- A tracking device.
In their groin.
- Professor.
- Sara.
- I finally found you.
- You shouldn't be here.
- I've come to save you.
- Save me?
I think you're just as much of a
prisoner as I am.
Is that's all you have to say?
I come all this way from
Cuzco to get you.
- Me too.
- Who are you?
- Max, what are you doing here, are you all rightl?
- Yeah, don't worry.
These grave robbers have kidnapped me because I am the world's greatest expert in mummies and...
- and sarcophagi of ancient Egypt.
- Max Mordon, is it really you?
They had to kidnap this clown.
Of all people.
Sweetie, I've never been more
happy to see you.
- Me you.
- Me too. I'm your number one...
number two, fan.
And National Petro graphic
subscriber since I was five.
I didn't catch your name.
Toad, Tad Stone.
Professor Stone. Dr. Humbert
sent him in his place.
Professor? Really?
Hey, amigo. Nice machine gun,
but it looks old.
Don't worry my friend. Let me
introduce you to the brand new...
Hyper performance 250. 50 bullets and
two triggers for just...
What are you doing?
Dame, just give them what they want
and I'm sure they'll let us go.
Miss Lavrof may I have the
tablet, please?
You didn't bring it here,
did you?
Oh great, I can't believe it.
What's he doing?
This tablet is a key piece of the map
that leads to Paititi.
I've been waiting for this moment,
my whole life.
And now everything is in
hands of these pirates.
- Well, professor, your turn.
- Never. I prefer to die.
That won't work.
Ok, you win. Leave her alone.
From the black peak, the puma
sees the red star.
In the second moon of the rains, the water's
trail goes over the anaconda's skin ..
But don't trust the solid rock. For
sometimes the alpaca's soft hair is stronger.
The Red Star is Mars
of course, the second moon of rain is, April...
and Mars is in the northeastern quadrant
during that time.
There is a formation of
basaltic rocks here.
But don't trust the solid rock.
- The babbling of an old shaman.
- Got it.
Let's mobilize. I'll take
Mordon and the profesor.
The girl stays as collateral.
If her esteemed father doesn't cooperate,
she's dead, ok?
You better not lay a finger on her!
Sorry, sorry.
- Take care of yourself.
- Max on the case.
Trust me, dearest.
If anything happens to
my father, I'll never forgive myself
I got into archeology so
I could be closer to him.
We'll get out of here, trust me.
Don't trust the solid rock for
sometimes the alpaca's soft hair is stronger.
My father wouldn't ignore something like
that. What he was trying to tell me?
Don't even think about it, Freddy.
Of course not boss lady. I am
a businessman, not a thief.
And this is good business.
Check this out, there's something back there.
- Behind the wall?
- This is not a wall, This is a door.
Believe me, I know what
I am talking about.
That's it. Don't trust the
solid rock.
The tablet was just
the key to open it.
Help me Sara.
Freddy, can we get a hand here?
In a minute, I'm doing an inventory.
But, don't trust the solid rock for
sometimes the alpaca's soft hair is stronger.
This is alpaca wool.
And this is the real map to Paititi.
This is what my father
was trying to say.
- So the Odysseus guys
- ... are going to dig in the wrong place.
Well done Professor.
Hey buddy, how did you get in here?
Wait a minute, if your here
it means there has to be a way out
It's that way?
- What th...? -
- I didn't touch anything.
Jeff, we have to find a way out.
Hurry!
And I have to decifer the map.
Freddy do something, help Tad.
Thank goodness, I never
leave home without this.
What's that?
101 ways of how to avoid a
dying a horrible, miserable, escruciating, painful death.
Step one, determine the level of visible risk.
Are you seriously about to die?
Or just over-reacting?
Yes, we are over-reacting. Come on.
The serpent and the tree, that's it.
The snake's a river.
Step two remain calm.
Don't panic.
Panic leads to hysteria
hysteria and leads to
desparation, and
brings no solution.
Dah, Is there anything actually useful
in that book?
- Step three, think outside the box
- I would if we could get outside the box
Wait, I think Jeff has found...
The way out..
Spirals symbolize the air.
Air, wind. That's it!
Come on Jeff, focus.
Step one, stay calm.
- That was step two.
- Ok, step two.
You can't go on to second two,
without doing step one first.
And what was step one?
I'll have a look. all this excitement, I...
Trees are the earth, the river's water.
Earth, water, wind and fire.
- The mother of nature.
- Step one.
Forget it. Jeff, please
we have no time!
- Has the mut found the escape?
- I hope so.
Way to go Jeff.
Step Four: If you find the exit.
Use it.
Yes, yes, all the symbols
point to the jungle.
Odessus are digging in the desert.
I know where Paititi is, I know it.
Come on Sarah, let's get out of here.
- Well done Jeff, you did it, buddy..
- You're the best.
Hey, Belzoni. You're still
in one piece?
You love her too, don't you?
Ok step five, if escape is successful.
Turn around and go home.
- What?
- Yes, I've had enough.
We can't go now. The
golden statue musn't...
fall into the hands of Odessus.
Well if I could get a big bonus for...
working in these terrible
conditions...
Is that a "no"?
We need to move fast
before Kopponen
realizes they're
digging in the wrong place.
Freddy, can you drive
an excavator?
$ 35 per hour, plus
20 cents a mile..
Forget him, I'm an expert.
Hop on..
- How'd you learn to drive this thing?
- Oh in the metro works..
- The metro works?
- Yeah.
- Sara Look, the truth is...
- You worked on the Metropolitan Museum...
excavation project?
Wow. I'm impressed. They
only choose the best.
Yeah, that's how I roll.
No mother you can't die now.
You haven't finished your will yet.
- We'll spend the night here.
- Works for me, amigo.
Don't worry, I'm sure your
father will be alright.
I'm just glad Max is with him.
You must be excited about
marrying Max Morden...
possibly the most
eligible bachelor on earth.
Yeah, he's a good man:
he's funny, handsome, famous...
But he's such a workaholic;
a lot like my dad.
Well I'm sure he'll realize that
being successful can't make you happy
without someone you love to
share it with..
I hope so.
And you? Are you happy?
Sure, I'm living my
dream, of being an archaeologist.
- How could I not be happy?
- I like your attitude.
Most archaeologists I know are only
satisfied making big discoveries...
which if they're really lucky, it only comes
along once in a blue moon.
But you're different.
Are you for real?
Yep, I think so.
We should get some sleep.
We'll have a hard day tomorrow.
Sara, there's something I need
to tell you.
I'm not a real...
- You were saying?
- Never mind.
Good night.
- Hey, you, idiot.
- I think he means to you.
Better go before he turns
you into Chop Suey.
- Are you sure this is the place?
- Of course I'm sure.
And don't call me an idiot.
You gorilla!
...just trying to make it believable.
What if professor Lavrof lied?
Not to me. I'm practically
his son-in-law.
Exactly, he doesn't seem to
be fond of you.
- Are you sure he doesn't suspect?
- Trust me, I'm a celebrity.
According to the
hieroglyphics, this is it
But there aren't any ruins here.
It's been 500 years since
anyone laid foot here
The city must be hidden
under the vegetation.
If my prayers are answered, there will
be pretty much shovels waiting there too.
- Why don't we split up to look for it?
- I agree.
Jeff, come here boy.
Great, another day without customers.
Come on Jeff, nose to the ground.
Tad, watch out. We've seen a puma.
Really? No kidding?
Freddy, give me a hand.
Olé, maistro.
- Guys! Guys! I found it!
- What have you found?
I found the lost city.
24 hours digging and still nothing.
That old coot thinks he
can toy with us?
Make that idiot talk, now!
Oh my God, the symbol of Paititi.
It sounds hollow.
Gotcha.
And I'm not gonna let you go.
- Stop playing with us professor.
- This can't be the right place.
It must be really deep.
One, two, three, four...
Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
Wow, must be extremely deep.
Now what? An earthquake?
I should have listened to my horoscope.
And that little voice in my head.
"Do not get out of bed today."
We are in deep dog poop.
Sara.
I read the map, the city is real.
We found the entrance.
Ok, prepare everything. I want to be entering
that hole in 5 minutes.
Dearest, thank goodness you're all right.
I was so worried.
Ok, squad two go down
and clear the area.
Squad one, get
the girl and the professor.
Squad Four, take care of
those idiots. Tie them up.
Don't worry about us.
We'll be alright.
Hey, put that away from me
I know how to walk.
Are you stupid? We can't
let these guys live.
They're no threat, the Peruvian one
is a walking home shopping network.
And the man in the
hat is a brick layer.
A brick layer?
I don't care what the help they are. If they
escape, they could compromise the whole plan.
Coming, my sugar plum.
- Which one?
- Well, interesting.
I think, given the position of
the two entries...
- it's most likely to be...
- Even an idiot would recognize...
the Incas marks
The left one.
Wait, before you kill us, can we
have one last request?
A super cookie.
You, get out of there.
Hey, the birds!
- That's gotta hurt.
- Hasta la vista baby.
- And now to the temple.
- I'm not going down there.
They say there are very dead things
in those Inca temples.
Ok, then stay up here with
Jeff and Belzoni.
Great idea, boss.
Good luck down there.
Come on bird brain
let's play poker.
Help me dad.
Sara?
What was that?
Spirits from the other side.
Inca Spirits protesting the...
profaning of this place.
Tad?
- Don't get any closer.
- Should we kill him?
- Of course.
- Max?
- I mean, of course not.
- Of course, "yes".
He's evil Sara. He ordered those
goons to kill Freddy and me.
I hope you don't believe him.
He is a pathological liar.
I'm not lying, I
saw you giving the order.
Oh, so you're not lying? And when
you told Sara you're an archaeologist...
...you wern't lying either?
- Tad, what's he talking about?
- Come on, Professor Stone.
Tell Sara who you really are. He's
a construction worker.
A bricklayer. A nobody.
What? Tad, is that true?
Ok, yes, he's right, I lied to you.
I'm just a big phony.
- But you need to know...
- That's enough... Toad.
Can't we just kill him boss?
Boss? Max, what's going on?
We don't have time for this, Max.
Ok, Ok. Sara look, I'm doing this for me...
For us.
- For our future.
- You kidnapped my father?
It was necessary. We were never
planning to harm him.
You tried to kill Freddy and Tad.
Well, I can explain.
Sorry, sorry.
You're going to regret that.
Kopponen.
The only thing I regret is the day
I said I'd marry you.
And to think you were my roll model.
You're a fraud.
Shut up you monkey. Move.
How could I be so blind? How could
I fall in love with a guy like that?
It's not your fault.He fooled me, too.
He's a liar.
So are you. You've been lying to me
all this time.
I'm sorry Sarah. I tried
tell you the truth...
- But, I was afraid you wouldn't...
- Forget Tad, You lied to me.
I trusted you,
I really trusted you.
Sara, help me.
- Take my hand.
- Can you pull me up?
Sure I can, but first tell me if anything
you said about yourself was true.
I was the Max Mordon's #1 fan.
This must be the mummies' work.
They're alive, I've seen them.
Don't be silly. If they were
alive, they wouldn't be mummies.
- It's a contradiction in terms.
- Whatever they are.
- They're here. they're cheesed-off.
- Well done monkey.
You swine, you didn't care that we could
have been killed down there
To be honest darling, your father
is the one who I really need.
Now move.
Look, keepus.
The Incas used them to
keep track of their supplies.
White for silver, yellow for
gold and brown for bronze.
Oh don't look so shocked.
I'm not a total ignoramus.
So now what?
Look, there. That has to be the entrance
to the chamber of the golden statue.
Pulling the right keepu, is
our ticket in.
Professor, enlighten us.
Oh sure, like I'm gonna tell you.
Okay, fine you worthless old fart.
Yellow is gold.
The whole room is a booby trap.
Sara, professor, against the walls.
- But he does not know what...
- Just do it.
You idiot! Kopponen, kill him.
Tad, the red kepu.
That's the right one.
Sara.
So long, suckers.
Dad.
The golden statue.
Stop human. The golden idol
is off limits.
Prepare to die.
Ok, ok, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I protected this statue
for 500 years.
And you're not going to be
the one who steals it.
Forgive me, please.
I surrender.
- Please don't shoot me.
- Shoot you?
This isn't a gun,
It's just a...
Now I will get eternal life.
- Not so fast
- Get lost, Tad Stones.
Make me, Max "Moron".
- As you wish.
- Help, He..ll..p.
- Are you alright sir?
- You're a real life saver.
This bag, is already dead.
Do you think you gonna defeat my
new pet?
- Give it up, Toad.
- Fight me, Mordon.
- Max no.
- Sara, welcome to the show.
Today we're squashing a bug.
This is the last time I have
to worry about you...
pathetic bricklayer.
- Yes
- No
Too bad toad. Looser!
- Now, he's gonna be immortal.
- Don't get any closer, just wait.
I'm full of life!
What? What's
happening to me?
You may be immortal. But
not as you would expect.
This is the price for
eternal life, Max "Moron".
No, this can't be.
- Sara, help me.
- Get away from me.
Don't worry, you're still quite
handsome for a mummy, really.
You'll fit in right in here.
No, no, there must be an
antidote to reverse this curse.
No, there isn't. This is the reason
why the mummie' s still live.
Oh, oh, this is great, she's
got mummy issues, too.
Get some therapy, people.
Take him here.
Don't even think about it, Toad.
My name is Tad.
- What are you gonna do, kill him?
- Pretty pointless if you to think about it.
Oh my God, the treasure of the Incas.
It is rich!
Take him to our darkest cell.
He'll enjoy eternal jail.
What? No, no.
Who do you think you are talking to?
You can't do that. I'm Max Mordon...
I am the most famous
archaeologist in the world!
What are you planning on doing with us?
According to the manual,
You should become a mummy...
or die.
- Hey, I saved your life.
- But rules are rules.
If I let you go, could you guarantee me
you'll let us live in peace?
This is my most valuable treasure.
It belonged to my father.
Please take it.
This is my promise; no one will
ever find out about this place.
Keep it safe.
You're the best living people
I've ever met.
Well, this is goodbye.
- Have a good life.
- You too, I mean...
You know what I mean.
A mute parrot who is
also a card shark?
I must be cursed.
Now I have nothing, nothing!
- Money isn't everything.
- I am too broke to believe that.
Hey buddy.
Hey guys, you're back.
And alive!
- What happened to the bad guys?
- They... gone.
We didn't find anything.
Everything's over.
What about the golden statue?
And the treasure?
I afraid the legend of Paititi will
be keep being a legend for a long time.
So it was all for nothing?
We are not going to be rich and famous?
There's no need to be rich and famous
Freddy. There are better treasures.
The best one, is being
with the people you love.
Blah, blah, whatever you say.
How will I explain to my family that
I've traveled a 1000 miles...
just only to sell a stinking Swiss pincher?
Hey, I liked that Swiss pincher.
Hey, are you ok?
Yeah.
The Lost City remains lost.
By the way, we found so much more.
Sorry about Max. It's not going to be
easy to find another true hero.
- I already have.
- Really? Who?
Stones. Tad Stones.
- I dig you Sara.
- I dig you too, Tad.
Yo Jeff, through thick and thin,
huh buddy. Fetch.