Tabloid (2010) - full transcript

"Once upon a time,

there was a little princess,

"the most beautiful

little princess in all the land.

"Her hair was long and blonde,

"and her eyes were as brown

as the dark waters of the river

"which ran by her castle.

"But the little princess

was unhappy,

"for she was lonely.

"Someday she would find

her kind, handsome prince,

"and he would sweep her up

on a big white horse,

"and he would take her away

and marry her,

and they would live

happily ever after."

Hi, I'm Joyce McKinney,

and that's from my pending book,

A Very Special Love Story.

- First of all, were you

surprised to be put in prison?

- I really didn't feel

I'd done anything wrong.

I still don't feel

I did anything wrong.

I would never do anything

to hurt Kirk Anderson

or slander him.

In fact, in my book...

my book is handled

in a very tender, nice fashion.

It's not a porno story

like these crazy newspapers

have tried to make it.

It's a love story, you know?

And, I mean, I would

never do anything to hurt him

or to cause him any harm at all.

And the way

that they threw me in prison

and tried to act like

I was some sort of criminal

and present this image over

was really what got to me.

My life started out in

a small town in North Carolina.

I was one of these girls

who was gonna meet, you know,

an all-American guy

and get married

and have a little

Leave It to Beaver house

with a white picket fence

and just have

a great little life.

Started dating

very late in life.

Didn't start dating

till I was, like, 17.

Was in an accelerated program

for kids with high IQs.

- How high was your IQ?

- 168.

I hadn't been

out in the world much

till I went to Utah.

You know,

I hadn't been around much.

- But there were a lot of men

attracted to you?

- Well, I guess so.

I don't know.

I'm not that vain

that I would say...

but I wasn't looking

for just any guy.

I wanted a special guy.

I wanted

a special guy.

And he had to have

certain qualities.

There are plenty

of guys out there,

but I wanted a special guy.

I met this professor,

and he said,

"Well, I've got these

perfect guys for you,

"and they're just your type,

Joyce.

"They don't smoke,

and they don't drink,

"and they're clean-cut,

"and you're just going

to love them.

And why don't you come over

to my house and meet them?"

They were Mormons.

They didn't tell me

what Mormonism was all about.

He didn't say,

"We're a group that believes

"that Jesus was a polygamist

and was married

to Mary Magdalene."

He didn't say,

"We believe that God lives

on a star named Kolob."

He didn't say,

"We believe that black people

were cursed with

the mark of Cain."

They made me think

they were a church.

They made me think

that they were family-oriented.

And so I was drawn to them,

as a young 19-year-old teenager,

like a moth to a flame.

I was just so happy

to go to this place

where I thought

that I would have my pick

of just all-American friends,

people, husband material,

I guess.

I had a Corvette, and I had

a big old English sheepdog

that loved to ride

in the Corvette.

And I had a good friend.

Her name was Marilyn Clark.

There wasn't anything

Marilyn didn't do:

smoke, drink,

have sex with Hells Angels.

I mean, this was a wild child.

We were exact opposites.

She used to call me

"Holier-Than-Thou McKinney"

because I was so straight.

We would cruise

the pizza parlor,

and we decided to cruise down

by Frosty's ice cream parlor.

And I noticed

this really handsome guy

driving alongside me also

in a Corvette, white Corvette.

And he kind of looks around

at me like he's watching me.

And I thought,

"Whoa, he's cute."

And I kept on driving,

and Marilyn goes,

"Hey, McKinn,

he's following you."

And I go, "He is?"

So I let him chase me.

He was quite aggressive.

And he pulled in beside me

and cleared his throat.

Then he goes, "Like your car."

I go, "Thanks.

I like yours too."

He goes,

"I really like yours better."

I go, "Want to drive it?"

When I met my Kirk,

it was like in the movies...

When the girl comes down

the stairs, and their eyes meet.

When Juliet looks at Romeo,

and it's... pkew!

That's how it was.

He had the most beautiful

blue eyes

and the sexiest smile,

and he always had

the cleanest skin.

- Kirk Anderson

was a very big, rather flabby,

300-pound, 6'3", not athletic

or attractive-looking man

in the accepted sense

of the word

who had a very shuffle-y

kind of walk,

the last person in the world

that you'd think would be

the object of this kind of

strange sexual passion.

He had known Joyce McKinney

in Salt Lake City,

and she had fallen in love

with him.

Fallen in love with him...

become obsessed by him,

because that's another thing

about Joyce is obsession.

I mean, she just obsesses

about things.

I don't know what

the details

of their relationship was

in Salt Lake City,

but they obviously had some kind

of romance or love affair,

because if one's to believe

Joyce at all,

he had promised her

a family and children.

- He actually told me

he loved me

the first night I met him

and asked me to marry him

the second night,

and then the next thing I know,

we're naming our kids.

And we were gonna name 'em all

with Js and Ks:

J for "Joyce"

and Ks for "Kirk,"

Joshua, Jacob.

You know, we had the names

picked out.

Kyle, Kirk.

And I remember, he took me home

to meet his Mormon mother,

and she was this big,

oh, huge woman,

about 350 pounds

in a tent dress,

and she took one look at me

with my little

beauty queen figure,

and her eyes went up,

and her eyes went down,

and she goes, "She doesn't look

like a Mormon to me."

From the time

I was a little girl,

I was in pageants.

It gave me a chance

to develop myself

to be the best person

I could be

with my looks, with my talent,

with my personality.

The pageants gave me,

as a small-town girl,

the chance to perform.

- So Mom thought

you were too sexy for him?

- I guess she thought

I was too pretty or something.

Kirk and I were just ready

for the big wedding,

and everything was happy.

The only problem is,

I was wanting to get married

in the Christian church,

and he was getting pressure

from the other side,

and so one day,

he vanished into thin air.

I don't mean he left me.

I don't mean he abandoned me.

I don't mean he left me

for another woman.

I mean he evaporated

into thin air.

He wasn't the kind of person

to just run off like that.

His things were still

at my place,

and, you know,

it was just weird.

I did what any American girl

would do

if her fiancè vanished

into thin air:

I looked for him.

I went to L.A.,

and I worked three jobs

trying to save up enough money

to pay a private investigator

to find out

what happened to him.

The private investigator

found him in England.

The Mormons had him.

- All young men in the Church,

from the time

that we're young boys,

we're indoctrinated

to prepare to go on mission.

We sing songs like I Hope

They Call Me On A Mission.

- ♪ I hope they call me

on a mission ♪

- You leave as a boy.

You come back as a man.

For Kirk, when he reaches

the age of 19,

he doesn't get whisked away

from Joyce.

He's just fulfilling

his religious spiritual

responsibilities.

- Joyce knew where he'd gone

and set up this plan

with her strange,

unexplained friend Keith May

to come over to the U.K.

- I had a really good friend

from Torrance, California.

He was an architect,

and his name

was Keith Joseph May.

Everybody called him "K.J."

K.J. was like my big brother,

and he said to me,

"I don't want you going over

there to England by yourself."

Said, "You don't know what

they're gonna do to ya."

All I knew

is this powerful group

had done something

to the man I loved.

We got two bodyguards

to go with us.

One was a big guy that was...

what do you call...

a body-builder guy.

And the other was a pilot.

- I was interested in something

a little bit more exciting

than what I was doing.

I saw an ad in the newspaper.

They wanted a pilot to fly

short trips in England,

and it sounded kind

of interesting to me.

So I called the phone number,

and a gentleman answered,

and an appointment was made

for the following week.

I was expecting to go

to an office

or something like that,

but it turned out to be

an apartment building.

I was taken in by a gentleman

by the name of Keith.

And after I was there

for a few minutes,

why, Joyce came out.

- Tell me about

that first meeting.

- Well, I was

favorably impressed.

She had a totally

see-through blouse on.

I can even remember the color.

It was a light brown,

totally see-through blouse.

- No bra?

- No bra,

see-through blouse.

She was very, very easy

to talk to.

At one point, she came over

and sat down next to me.

I was trying to perceive

what type of relationship

existed between Keith and her

at that point.

Perhaps maybe down the line,

I might want to ask this girl

out for dinner or something.

Joyce had a trunk

that she brought out,

and in it were folders,

pictures, tablets,

letters from a private

investigator in England.

She then unraveled a story to me

that was just unreal.

Joyce had hired bodyguards,

she told me, from Gold's Gym.

She was gonna put 'em up

while they were there

in England,

and they were going to liberate

her fiancè from this cult group.

In the back of my mind,

I was trying to figure out how

she could have all this money

to take all these people

to England.

She told me she was a model.

I didn't realize models

made that kind of money.

- We actually hired some guys

to go with us from Los Angeles

in case we were attacked

or anything.

I didn't know

what was gonna happen.

I didn't know what

I was gonna be walking into.

I didn't know if they would

release him willingly or what.

I didn't know if they would

do something to hurt me.

I didn't know.

- Joyce called me

and wanted to know

if I would fly her someplace in

an airplane locally for dinner.

That sounded pretty good.

I thought it might possibly be

an overnight trip or something,

and I was more than up for that.

But when Joyce showed up,

much to my surprise,

Keith was with her.

I felt this was a time

that I could try to make

a determination

on how real she was

and her financial ability.

So I did rent the most expensive

airplane that was possible,

single-engine,

a Beechcraft A36 Bonanza.

When you rent an airplane

like that,

you have to give 'em

a credit card,

and they lock in the approximate

amount it was gonna be.

Joyce didn't have a credit card.

But she did bring out

an envelope

filled with

hundred-dollar bills.

That brought me

a little bit closer to realizing

maybe she has the money to do

what she wants to do.

So we flew down to San Diego.

We had dinner,

and we flew back.

- Didn't stay the night.

- No.

No.

Keith was with her, and so...

that was three people there.

That's not for me.

- I take it that you

were attracted to Joyce.

- Yes.

She was in her late 20s,

had an outstanding figure,

had a Southern accent,

long blonde hair.

Any heterosexual male

would be attracted to Joyce.

Prior to our departure from

the United States to England,

they wanted me

to meet the bodyguard.

His name was Gil.

Gil would come to their place.

I would come to their place,

then we would go down

to the beach.

Then they told me the beach they

were going to was a nude beach.

Well, I've never been

to a nude beach,

so that really slowed me down

a little bit.

Joyce spread out a blanket

and proceeded to take off

all her clothes.

Totally.

Very quickly,

three to four guys showed up

around the blanket

and started taking pictures.

I don't know

where they came from.

Joyce protested,

tried to stop them.

She claimed

that she was a model,

and she didn't want photographs

taken of her.

After about 15 minutes,

Joyce put on her clothes,

and we left the beach.

And so we met at Los Angeles

International Airport.

Keith May was there,

Joyce McKinney,

Gil Parker, and myself.

First off, Gil Parker

had a problem

when he went through customs.

They asked him

what his occupation was,

and he told 'em

he was a bodyguard.

And they said, "For who?"

And they said,

"For Joyce and Keith."

Well, that put up a red flag,

evidently, in customs,

and they pulled him out.

Well, that scared Gil

right there.

Then, on the second day, we were

in a motel room together,

and Joyce had a lot of baggage.

I'd never seen anybody travel

with so many bags.

And they took out

wireless microphone

and listening devices.

Surprised me.

I wasn't sure what they

were going to use it for.

It was something you

could probably

just have carried

through customs,

but they had it inside

of a portable radio.

Well, when Gil seen this,

that about did it for him.

That was when

he called me outside

and said he wanted to go back

the next day.

The private investigator

had told Joyce

two or three different places

where Kirk was at,

and Keith was gonna go

into some of these places

where this cult group

was supposed to be,

ask questions,

and it would be transmitted out

to Joyce in the car...

wirelessly.

Keith May and I, we wanted to

go out a little bit on our own,

but Joyce was keeping us

so busy, we couldn't,

so one day, she...

- Keeping you so busy?

- Yeah, driving places,

checking out places,

walking places.

She had this wig,

this wig she called "Matilda."

And she'd wear this strange wig

when we'd go out driving

sometime and sunglasses.

And any time we'd go down near

one of these churches

where they were trying

to find out

if Kirk was gonna be

at that church

or if that was one

he frequented,

she'd have that wig on.

We were across,

in front of a building.

Out come two young men

dressed in suits,

a tie, and a white shirt.

And she told me,

"There is Kirk."

Well, I was totally surprised.

This was nobody

being held captive.

And that's when Joyce

kind of leveled with me.

She showed me a bottle

of chloroform,

and I'd already seen

this phony gun they had.

I was going to be no part

of any of this,

and I told her that.

- So she arrives

with Keith May, lurks around,

waits around outside

the temple of whatever it was,

Latter-Day Saints

of something or other,

waited for this huge,

shuffling figure to come out

with his short Mormon haircut

and pointed a gun at him

and said, "Get into the car."

- In the final analysis,

the one way they were able

to make contact with Kirk...

Keith called him and told him

he wanted to convert

to the Mormon religion,

and they thought they had

a new convert.

Now, I'm not sure

this is the exact scenario,

but at that point,

Keith used the gun

to get him out to the car.

- So you drive up

in your rental car with K. J.

- I waited, and K.J. went in,

because they're not supposed to

be in the room alone with girls.

So K.J. went in and said,

"Joyce is in the car."

And Kirk turned around,

and he threw the keys

to his companion and said,

"I've got to go out

in the car and get something.

I'll be right back."

- So he goes out with K.J.?

- Yeah, and didn't come back,

and his poor old dumb companion

is sitting there

staring like

he's catching flies,

looking out the window,

waiting for him to come back.

He got in the car, and he goes,

"How long have you been

in England?"

Like a robot.

He was almost speaking

in a monotone voice,

and he'd go, "They said

you didn't love me anymore."

It was like he had

a personality alteration,

Kirk Number 1

and Kirk Number 2.

Kirk Number 1 was the man

I fell in love with.

Kirk Number 2 was Cult Kirk.

- According to all the reports

at the time,

he was driven 250 miles

to a cottage in Devon.

She had a suitcase full

of all the equipment required,

including, I gather,

some Los Angeles

Police Department

Smith & Wesson handcuffs.

And he was taken in

and chained to...

Joyce claims it was ropes,

not chains,

but chains sounds better.

Anyway, he was allegedly

chained to a bed,

first by his ankle

so that he could actually

reach the toilet.

The chain was long enough

for him to get to the toilet.

Subsequently, with the help

of Keith May,

was spread-eagled...

spread-eagled...

which is this wonderful

bondage word...

was spread-eagled to the bed,

and Keith May discreetly left

the room at this point, I think,

closed the door behind him,

and Joyce had sex with him.

And she said to him

she was going to go on

having sex with him

until she found

she had missed a period

and would then hopefully

be pregnant by him.

- She wanted to be inseminated?

- Yes, I think that's

the polite word for it.

- Kirk and I went to

this cottage down in England.

Well, I think they called it

the Devon area down there.

Real Franco Zeffirelli.

You know, like Brother Sun,

Sister Moon type shots.

If you saw that film,

that's what it looked like.

- Clare!

You shouldn't have come,

but I knew you would.

I knew.

- I have to tell you,

and I don't care

if the whole world knows it.

From now on, I'm not asking

to be loved.

I want to love!

- Okay, if you can get

that vision

set in your head,

Mr. Filmmaker.

- How'd you find this place?

- Well, I was looking

for someplace peaceful

where he could normalize,

someplace where he could

come back to Kirk Number 1.

I had a big fireplace,

patchwork quilt, silk sheets...

blue to match his eyes,

with his initials on it...

cinnamon oil back rub,

'cause he loved my back rubs,

and all his favorite foods

in the fridge.

- What were his favorite foods

in the fridge?

- Oh, I had chocolate cake

and Southern-fried chicken.

He loved my chicken.

Mashed potatoes.

I made everything

that he wanted.

I was like his little,

you know, wifey almost.

We were slow-dancing.

He got turned on

as we were dancing.

I'll be blunt.

He had an erection, okay?

And we sat down on the bed,

and he said,

"Can you give me a back rub?"

And I got the cinnamon oil,

which I had warmed,

and I was giving him a back rub.

And he had these

ugly garments on, and I said,

"How am I supposed

to give you a back rub

with this Mormon thing on?"

And I ripped

the ugly things off,

because they smelled, you know,

and they had those

occultic symbols,

and I didn't want

anything ugly there

in our beautiful moment.

You know, it was like

a honeymoon cottage.

And we burned 'em.

We actually burned 'em.

- You ripped off

his magic underwear

and burned it?

- And I threw 'em

in the fireplace

where they belonged!

Where they should put 'em all,

as far as I'm concerned.

- There's folk stories galore,

legends of the temple garment

protecting people from harm.

The hooks, the psychic hooks

of the temple

are so... pried in so deep

that even people

who don't go to church anymore

still wear them,

because in the back

of their mind, like...

"What if I don't wear them,

and then Satan's got me?"

- Kirk was impotent.

He was sexually impotent

because of this brainwashing.

He's not supposed

to have sexual feelings.

He's not supposed

to have emotional feelings.

He's not supposed

to fall in love.

And we were in love.

He loved me, and I loved him.

I knew there was only one way

to get Kirk out of Mormonism,

and that was to make love

with him,

because for a Mormon missionary

to have a love affair

is totally taboo.

They can't be in a room

alone with a girl

without their companion

with them to even shake hands.

So if it took giving up

my virginity

in a romantic moonlit cottage,

so be it.

I just wanted him

out of that cult.

We started to make love,

and all of a sudden,

he jumps up on the bed

like this, and he goes,

"By the law of the holy prophet

Joseph Smith,

"I cannot not touch my bodies

or the bodies of others

"in an unnatural,

experimental way!

By the law

of the holy prophet..."

Hold a Book of Mormon

firmly in hand.

Sing a Mormon song.

Sing a Mormon song.

Because he's turned on,

and he's not supposed to be.

And I go, "Ha."

I'd come across

an ocean to find him,

and the Mormons

are in our bedroom?

- That moment, when his garments

are coming off,

that could have been

a moment that triggered him,

like, "Oh, my gosh."

"Oh, my heck,"

as they say in Utah.

"I'm doing something wrong."

- I went back in the kitchen,

and I got myself

a real cold glass of water.

- Does he still have

the erection

while he's chanting?

- Well, I came back...

to be continued...

I came back in there,

and I'm thinking,

"Am I doing something wrong?"

He started to cry.

He had ejaculated, I guess.

He said, "Please don't tell 'em

about the filthy place,

what happened

at the filthy place."

And I said,

"Honey, what's wrong?"

He goes, "They'll know."

I mean, every guy on the planet

masturbates and has wet dreams.

And I ask him, I said, "Honey,

don't you have those dreams

guys have

or whatever they're called?"

He goes, "Yeah, but I didn't

tell 'em in the interview."

I go, "What interview?

They talk to you

about this stuff?"

He goes, "Yeah, once a week.

"They take us in rooms

by ourselves,

and they say, 'M1, M2, M3?

M1, M2, M3?"'

I go, "What's that?"

"Masturbation once,

masturbation twice,

"masturbation three times.

"So many times, you're out.

"You're Xed.

You're home.

"You're off your mission.

You can't get married

in the temple."

I go, "Kirk, these people

are controlling your sex drive.

"They're controlling your mind.

They're controlling your food.

You can't have coffee,

tea, or Pepsi-Cola."

There was

a Christian marriage manual,

which I bought, which

explained sex to young virgins.

There was a section in there

on sexual impotence.

Im-po-tence.

l-M-P-O-T-E-N-C-E.

And it said sometimes if a guy

was very repressed sexually,

which poor Kirk was,

Lord knows,

that you could

tie the person up,

and they could say,

"Ah, I'll let go."

You know, "I can finally let go

and make love."

And so I went, and I read

that section really quick,

speed-read it.

And I come back and I said,

"Honey, we're going to try

some of these exercises."

And so we did.

We made love, actually,

for three days.

We sort of, like,

didn't get out of bed.

It was the honeymoon,

was what it was for me.

I wanted us

to have a good sex life.

I wanted to be a good wife

to Kirk,

and I wanted to give him

lots of babies in my tummy.

I didn't look at sex

as a bad thing with him.

I looked at it as

a melting of two souls,

because when he kissed me,

it was like we melted

into one person.

It was like I didn't know

where I stopped and he began.

We were lying there,

holding hands,

and his little missionary

glasses were kind of askew.

And he goes, "Guess

we're married in God's eyes."

I go, "Yup, we are."

He says, "Guess we better

make it official."

He said, "Let's go into London,

and let's get married."

We took the rental car,

and we went into town,

to London,

and we saw Trafalgar Square.

They had, like, pigeons.

We fed the pigeons.

And so I said, "Oh, Kirk.

"We've got this cool cafe

we want to take you to.

It's called the Hard Rock Cafe."

And there were cops

running around everywhere.

What do they call 'em,

bobbies or whatever?

British cops.

If Kirk felt kidnapped

at any time, he could have said,

"Hey, this little pint-sized

girl here has me kidnapped.

Can you please help me,

'occifer'?"

But he didn't.

Kirk says, "Well, I'm gonna go

over across the street

and get a newspaper."

So he went over, by himself,

got a newspaper,

came back to the table,

slammed that newspaper down

on the table.

He's white as a ghost.

And we said, "What's wrong?"

It was so shocking.

It sounded like Scotland Yard

was after us or something.

And I'm sitting there

with my "kidnap victim"

eating a burger

with a hundred people

in a crowded tourist restaurant.

Kirk says,

"Well, maybe if I call 'em

and let them know

I'm alive and okay."

He says, "Oh, they're

gonna ask me about sex.

"Oh, they're gonna ask me

about sex.

What am I gonna say?

They're gonna ask me about sex."

I says,

"Can't you just tell them?"

"Oh, no, I can't!

Can't tell 'em we had sex!

Oh, they'll excommunicate me.

Oh, my mother will be so mad."

We called his mother.

We called my dad.

We called from the phone booth

at Trafalgar Square.

Kirk said to my dad,

"Mr. McKinney,

I love your daughter,

and I'm gonna marry her."

And my dad said,

"Welcome to the family, son."

When we called his mother,

I could hear her screeching

across the Atlantic.

"Oh, you've ruined

your eternal progression!

"Don't you know

what you've done?

"How could you get involved

with that girl?

You've not had sex with her,

have you?"

The mission president was,

"Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Oh, you've been kidnapped,"

and da, da, da.

And Kirk could hardly

get a word in edgewise.

He'd say, "But I'm really okay,

President Eyre."

"When the news media...

Kirk hung up, and he goes,

"You know, they've got

Scotland Yard and the FBI.

"How about if I just go back in,

and you guys stay here,

"so they can't do nothing like

arrest you guys or anything,

and I go back in

and show 'em I'm okay."

And I'll never forget that day.

It was a real Kodak moment.

Victoria Station in those days

had a beautiful

old-fashioned train

that pulled out

with one of those...

And the last thing I remember

of Kirk Number 1 is,

he got on the train,

and he mouthed the words,

"I love you."

And I go,

"I love you too, baby."

- If Kirk went away

with Joyce willingly...

and had sex with her...

the guilt that would come over

him so strongly after the fact

could be overwhelming.

- K.J. and I turned

and walked away,

and he goes, "Don't worry.

"He'll be okay.

He loves you.

You got the man you love.

What you worried about?"

I says, "I don't know, K.J.

Some nagging feeling.

I'm worried."

So we went back to the cottage,

and we packed everything up.

I remember

I had my wedding dress,

a pretty white dress

I was gonna use for our wedding.

Put flowers in my hair.

Also, our wedding bands

with our names engraved inside.

It said, "Joyce and Kirk.

He lift thee, and thee lift me,

and we will ascend together."

Even after we grew old

and died,

we would rise into the heavens

together as man and wife.

- This bizarre story

began here last Wednesday.

Kirk Anderson,

a young Mormon missionary

was talking outside to a man

with a Canadian accent.

He then disappeared.

But early today,

he phoned police

and told them he was kidnapped.

A blanket had been placed

over his head.

He'd been driven to a house

where he'd been blindfolded

and his legs shackled.

- When I got back

to my apartment in Long Beach,

the landlady called me in

and said the Long Beach Homicide

Department had been there,

and they wanted me to come down

to the police station.

And that really freaked me out.

Why the Homicide Department,

I don't know.

I told them everything.

Then we went down,

had a cup of coffee.

Then they asked me to come back

and tell 'em again,

the same story.

They had tape recorded

the first time I said it,

and they wanted to make sure

that when I told it

a second time,

it was exactly the same story,

which it was.

I told 'em the truth.

They got kind of a big kick

out of it,

considering

they hadn't found him yet,

about the whole story.

- The Manacled Mormon.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what it boiled down to.

- I was a Mormon missionary

in Exeter, okay?

This is in Devon.

And I was at

a church member's house,

and they were a younger couple.

And they sort of sat down

and told us the whole story

of Joyce McKinney

and the Manacled Mormon.

It reminds me

of those cultures

that have stories

of the vagina dentata,

the women

with the toothed vagina.

They become cautionary tales

about sexual impropriety,

the dangerous powers of women,

women that can seduce

a young missionary

who are on God's errand.

Young men, once they receive

what's called

the Melchizedek priesthood,

they are endowed with power

from on high.

They go through... we go through...

I went through

an elaborate "endowment"

through the Mormon Temples

where we received

sacred underwear

and sacred knowledge

of keys to heaven.

You reenact

the Garden of Eden scenario,

and there's an actor

that performs Lucifer.

And he says in a menacing tone,

"Those of you

who don't live up

"to the covenants that you make

"on the altar of the temple

this day

will be in my power."

And one of the covenants that

you make is the law of chastity,

that you will only have

sexual relationships

with he or she to whom you are

legally and lawfully wedded.

- "Manacled Mormon Sex Slave"

wrecks that, doesn't it?

- Completely wrecks that.

If Kirk Anderson was

a willing Manacled Mormon,

he will have violated

his temple covenants,

violated the law of chastity.

What he risks is excommunication

from the church,

and greater than that,

unless he repents,

he won't be able to, ultimately,

become a god

and have his own planet.

That is Mormon theology.

That's what

they're working towards.

- I got this weird phone call.

I had an answering service.

It said,

"It's been really crazy here,

"but I finally got 'em

off my back.

"I still love you.

"Call me.

Urgent.

Epsom 25724.

Urgent."

So I called the number,

and some Mormon answered.

"Who is this?

What do ya want?"

Very suspicious voice.

And I said,

"I want to talk to Kirk...

I mean Elder Anderson."

So I said, "This is

Sister... Helmsley calling

regarding the baptism

for my daughter Millie."

Millie was my sheepdog,

and I knew Kirk would know that.

And I said, "Honey,

where do you want to meet?"

He says, "About 2:00."

I said, "Don't say where it is

over the phone."

He goes, "Okay."

I was worried about

an extension phone.

It went further than that.

It was a phone tap.

On my way to meet him,

I remember me and K.J.

were going along the motorway,

and I'm singing, "I'm getting

married in the morning!"

And I'm so happy.

I'm so...

I was just like a young bride

on her honeymoon.

I was just so full

of so much love for him.

These cop cars

ran us off the road.

They just literally edged us

off the road.

And then when they threw us up

against the police car and said,

"You're under arrest

for false imprisonment

and carrying away

Kirk Anderson,"

I couldn't believe it.

It was just, like, shock.

- The law was required

to take seriously an act

involving a woman with a gun,

pointing it at a priest.

Forcing him... although

this was a sort of fantasy...

forcing him into a car

and spread-eagling him to a bed

and having sex with him.

I mean, there are

so many crimes, possible crimes,

involved in all of that,

and yet someone...

everyone suspected

there wasn't really

a crime here at all.

- Scenario number one

is Kirk's story:

fake gun, chloroform, kidnapped,

tied up, forced to have sex.

The second version

is Joyce's story.

They were gonna be married.

They were gonna have children.

He needed to escape

from the Mormon Church.

She goes to rescue him.

They rush away

and have this magical,

wonderful night...

weekend together.

And then they get him.

They brainwash him,

and all of a sudden,

he's claiming rape.

The third scenario

is something in between.

There was a consensual aspect

to his getaway with her.

But then somewhere

along the line,

he had second thoughts.

And he wanted it to stop,

and it didn't.

- Do you think a woman

can rape a man?

- No, I think

that's like putting

a marshmallow

in a parking meter.

I don't... a guy either wants

to have sex, or he doesn't.

He has an erection,

or he doesn't.

- She spent about three months

in Holloway Prison,

the famous women's prison

in London.

- There was

a little sliding door

that they would slide open with

just a little slit of light.

And they would slide it open

maybe once a day and say,

"Are you ready to sign

a confession?"

I kept screaming,

"Please get Kirk!

Please get Kirk!"

I beat my fists bloody

on this cold, steel prison door

screaming,

"Please, somebody get Kirk!"

- There was a picture of her

in all the papers

looking out of the back

of a police van.

She had scrawled

on a piece of paper,

which she was holding up

to press,

"Kirk was cooperative

all along."

- When I went

to the prison library,

I got a Bible,

and in the back of the Bible,

there was two white pages

of blank paper,

almost like God put it there.

I wrote two letters on those

two blank pages out of my Bible:

one to my parents,

and one to the press.

I put them up inside...

I hate to sound gross,

but I put one in my vagina

and one in my rectum.

I got out in the prison van,

in the Black Mama,

and I pushed 'em out.

I grunted them out, and I popped

them out the window.

And this man saw them, and I go,

" Pick it up.

Pick it up."

And he goes like...

"Pick it up.

Mail it.

Mail it."

You know, I was trying

to motion to him,

'cause I knew he couldn't

hear me inside the prison van,

to mail it at the post office.

And he goes...

"Please, please,

please mail it."

And so he mailed it,

and of course, the next time

I go back for my bail hearing,

the whole planet was there.

I asked my lawyer.

I said, "Look, if you

can't talk, would you let me?

"'Cause I can sure talk.

Let me tell people

what happened."

So I got up there,

and I had 'em laughing.

I had 'em crying.

I had 'em throwing spitballs

at the Mormons, you know?

Thank God for all those years

of drama school.

Thank you!

- Everyone was just mesmerized

by her performance.

I mean, there was no sense

of fear or shame or anything.

She just took on the court

with great confidence,

and she said,

"I loved him so much,

"I would have skied down

Mount Everest nude

with a carnation up my nose

for the love of that man."

- There was standing room only.

There were little old ladies

with their shopping carts

ogling for places to stand!

The banners outside...

"Free Joyce! Free Joyce!"

- These judges with their white

wigs sitting there, you know,

unable to comprehend

any of this.

And there was nothing

in the statute books

which would deal with it.

- They're so prim and proper,

you know.

They wear these little

powdered wigs,

which look like

dumb little hats,

and they sit up and down

and wiggle on their heads.

One of the questions

they ask him was,

"Did you ask for a back rub?"

And he said, "Yes."

And they said,

"Was it cinnamon oil

that she rubbed on your back?"

And he goes, "Yes,"

like he had remembered,

"Well, that was nice."

They ask him, "Were you willing

or unwilling?"

And he did that like really fast

and looked at the head Mormon

right on the front row.

He jerked his head

really fast like,

"What am I supposed to say?"

And the head Mormon went like,

"You say what we told you

to say," like that.

And he goes, "I was unwilling!

I was unwilling."

"Were you unwilling

all seven times?"

"Well, I wasn't as unwilling

the third time

as I was the first."

I wanted him to be strong

and say, "Yes, I love her,

"and I'm gonna tell

the truth right now,

and let's get rid of this."

But he was so scared.

You know, you can tell a lie

long enough till you believe it.

- For 55 minutes, Ms. McKinney

poured out her statement

to an occasionally

confused magistrate.

At one point, he stopped her

and said, "I'm lost."

And Ms. McKinney, speaking

in a North Carolina drawl,

put the whole case in this way:

referring to the young Mormon,

Kirk Anderson, she said,

"He put me in prison

to save himself

from excommunication

and family disgrace."

This was a phony kidnap

according to Ms. McKinney.

Referring to the episode down

in the Devon cottage, she said,

"We had three days of fun,

food, and sex."

- By this time,

the British Isles was on fire

with the Joyce McKinney story.

That was all

that was being talked about

in the pubs and taverns

and restaurants.

"Where were you when you read

the Joyce McKinney story?"

You know.

I mean, it had kinky sex.

It had religion.

It had a beauty queen,

kidnap at gunpoint,

chains, being spread-eagled.

It had Mormon missionaries.

And there was something

in that story for everyone.

It was a perfect tabloid story.

- I mean,

I could never understand

the public's fascination

with my love life.

I'm not a movie star.

I'm just a person,

a human being,

that was caught in

an extraordinary circumstance.

- The Daily Express

and the Mirror were locked

in almost deadly combat

over the Joyce McKinney story.

And then it all

kind of went away

until she was released on bail.

And then there was a kind

of burst of stuff again.

- I was let out on bail

to await the upcoming trial

to clear my name.

Somebody sent a limousine

to pick me up at the prison,

and here I exit the prison,

and I mean,

I've got lice powder in my hair.

I'm supposed to be

this ex-beauty queen,

and all the cameras are there,

and, you know, I look like...

That was my first taste

of the press.

And when I got back

to the bed-and-breakfast,

I started to very quietly

get out of the limousine.

I'm thinking, "I wonder

who sent this car, you know,

at the prison to pick me up?"

And I was going to go in

and hug my mom and dad and say,

"I'm home!"

All of a sudden,

the sky lit up with flashbulbs.

Suddenly night became day.

I was suddenly a celebrity.

I didn't ask to be a celebrity.

I didn't want to be a celebrity.

But it was like a wave.

It was like a "phenomen-imum."

- So what have these last

few months been like for you?

- Well, I've been very busy.

It's been amazing,

the way the public

has responded to my case.

I got close to 1,000 letters

from the British public.

The rest of the time

that I'm not answering letters

or something of this nature,

I'm working on my book.

- What kind of a book is that?

- Well, this is my life story,

and it's the story

of how I met Kirk,

and the name of it is

A Very Special Love Story.

I had said something like

I loved Kirk so much,

I'd have skied naked

down Mount Everest

with a carnation in my nose.

When I went into

the bed-and-breakfast,

there were pink carnations

all over the room!

There were pink carnations

in the closet, in the sink,

on the floor, on the bed.

Sacks of mail

from all over the world.

People wanted me to autograph

their baby's bellies,

their elbows,

their cigarette packs!

I got marriage proposals.

I got maps with directions

to guys' houses saying,

"Please come and kidnap

and rape me anytime, honey!"

It kind of got a life

of its own.

I remember, I was at a party.

It was an after-party

for Saturday Night Fever,

and Johnny Travolta was there.

And the Bee Gees came over

and asked me to dance,

and, you know...

Keith Moon... he was the drummer

for The Who... spied me,

and he told

one of the reporters,

"I want to meet the girl."

He was with his girlfriend.

I mean, there was nothing

between me and Keith,

but he came over,

and he says,

"Joycie girl, I'm gonna give you

a big old smooch."

And he just kissed me!

And that was

just getting started.

- Peter McKay, my editor,

said to me,

"Why don't you hire

a Rolls-Royce

"and take Joyce to the premiere

of The Stud

and upstage

the show business element?"

- Was there a chance that you

could actually do this?

Could you upstage Joan Collins

with Joyce McKinney?

- Well, we did.

She stepped out

of this Rolls-Royce,

and all the press went mad.

I mean, it was as if...

I don't know...

Marilyn Monroe got out

or the queen.

I mean,

certainly more excitement

than when Joan Collins

got out of her limousine.

She returned home at midnight

like Cinderella.

Presumably, Keith May

had been packing their bags,

because they disappeared

a day later.

- The police had opposed bail,

believing that the couple

would leave the country

if it were granted.

Since their disappearance

was discovered on Thursday,

the police have kept a watch

on all air and seaports,

but they were last seen by

neighbors on Wednesday evening.

- I never fled.

Don't use the word "fled."

I resent the word "fled."

I left.

- They went to the airport

as deaf-mutes, I gather.

Quite clever, really.

- I went, and I got the birth

certificates of two dead people.

I didn't figure they'd mind.

And I got me a travel visa.

I put on a granny wig,

and I made me a fat suit.

You know what a fat suit is,

like in Norbit.

I said,

"Keith, we're going home."

So I dye his hair coal black,

and I made him

a little handlebar moustache

and darkened his skin,

like Pedro Gonzalez.

And I found out there was

a troop of deaf actors

going to the States via Canada.

Well, let me tell ya,

I put some little signs on us,

and it said,

"I am deaf, but I can lip-read.

Please enunciate your words

slowly and speak clearly."

I remember the stewardess said,

"Get these dummies

on the plane!"

The other one said,

"Shh, They'll hear you!"

And she goes, "No, they won't!

They're stone deaf!"

We got to Canada,

and it's at night,

and they stop us in immigration.

I had 13 suitcases

full of news clips.

In those suitcases are

hundreds of pictures of me,

magazine covers

and all this stuff.

They're gonna look at me

and say, "Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

They go, "13 suitcases?

You immigrating?"

And I go...

And she goes, "Oh, you're deaf!

Okay!

We cannot get our interpreter

at night!"

And she's talking louder

and louder.

She gives me a pencil,

and I write down: "I tired.

May I go now, please?"

Lady goes, "Eh, go on."

- Ten days later,

I was in my office

in the Daily Express building.

The telephone rang

one evening about 6:00.

And I picked it up,

and it was Joyce.

She said that she wanted to sell

her story to the Daily Express

for £40,000.

We arranged there and then

for me to fly out to Atlanta

and wait in the Atlanta airport

Hilton hotel.

I went to the door,

and there outside

were these two Indians...

like Indians from Calcutta.

They should have been arrested

for bad acting

far more than abducting

Mormon priests.

She was having, really,

the time of her life.

There was no sense of anxiety.

She was just enjoying it.

And giving us all

this nonsense,

which was a totally sanitized

version of the truth.

And we were falling for it,

of course,

getting it all onto these little

tape recorders, and thinking,

"God, hasn't the Express

got a great story here!"

Joyce brought in this suitcase,

took about three of us

to get it in the room.

I daresay she just put

her finger on the button.

The thing exploded.

And these disguises

and wigs and...

not bondage gear,

I hasten to add.

At least, I didn't see any.

I expected the FBI

to come crashing in through

the windows at any minute,

'cause as far as I knew, I mean,

we were aiding

and abetting fugitives.

It wasn't clear, really,

what Keith May's motive was

except that he adored Joyce.

And Joyce kind of did,

from time to time,

treat him as if he was

in some kind

of mistress-slave fantasy.

Like, "Down, slave,"

she would say to him.

"Down, slave!

Down, slave!"

But she would say it

humorously, joking.

But it did occur to us

at the time

that this is all the language

of the world of bondage.

I speak as if I'm an expert,

but I mean...

- I assume that you are.

But it's all this kind of

master-mistress power thing,

domination thing that seems

to run through this whole story.

It seems to be a theme.

- Keith had probably

an obsession for Joyce

just like Joyce had

an obsession for Kirk.

The fact that he was just able

to be around her

and helping her

where he could

satisfied his emotions.

- There are tabloids in England

that are filth.

At the top of the list

would be the Daily Mirror.

- The Daily Mirror had...

meantime...

had their reporters

in Los Angeles

digging up all this stuff

about her activities as a...

I don't know...

not a call girl, but as a...

well, I suppose she was.

I mean, she was being paid

for sexual services.

But this was all long before

her escapades in the U.K.

This was earlier

Joyce McKinney history.

- They had a tip.

I think it was from

a police officer in London

to one of our London reporters

that was covering the story,

who said that it might be worth

looking up an address

that we know

she had in Los Angeles

and a boyfriend called

Steve Moskowitz.

Joyce had been in touch with him

from England saying,

"Destroy any pictures.

If any journalists turn up,

do not talk to anybody."

Steve was very uncooperative

when I first met him.

Once he told me that he was

still madly in love with her,

I said, "Look, Steve,

if you want to be at her side

"for the trial

at the Old Bailey,

"we will pay

a first-class air ticket for you

and put you up in a hotel in

London so you can be with her."

The next morning,

I'm in the hotel

at Santa Monica.

8:00, Monday morning,

the phone goes.

Steve.

"I'm downstairs."

He produced six strips

of black-and-white contacts.

There was nothing really

that bad on them.

She was sitting on a horse.

They were glamour pictures,

as such.

I said, "Well, look, Steve,

"this doesn't take us

very much further,

"but I will hang on to them.

We need more."

I said, "By the way,

the editor in London

wants me to take a picture

of you."

He said, "Can you make it look

as if I've not posed for it?"

I said, "What do you mean?"

He said, "Well,

I've got Joyce's car here,

"and I've got Millie.

"I often take the dog out,

put him in the car,

take the dog away for a walk."

He didn't want Joyce to know

he was cooperating.

- So he's betraying her.

He knows he's betraying her.

- I don't think he realized

how much he was giving us.

It was only when he said to me,

"She placed these ads

in the Hollywood Free Press,

in Freep. "

He took us to one

of their offices,

which had back numbers

of some of the ads

that she'd posted in there,

and it read:

"Gorgeous former Miss USA

contestant desires work.

"Beauty, brains and talent.

The best gal in the Freep.

"38-24-36.

"Slim, sweet, Southern blonde.

"How would you like her

to leisurely bathe you,

"lovingly blow dry/style

your hair,

"and then give you

a delicious nude massage

"on her fur-covered waterbed?

"Your fantasy is her specialty.

"S&M.

B&D.

"Escort service.

"Nude wrestling.

Modeling.

"Erotic phone calls.

"Dirty panties or pictures.

Mail your fantasy

or specialty to Joey."

I love this bit.

"P.S., Joey says,

'I love shy boys, dirty old men,

and sugar daddies."'

I couldn't believe

what I was seeing.

I could not believe

that that was Joyce

advertising those services.

But that was only the beginning,

because once we had

all of that,

we then had to start thinking,

"Who's got pictures

of all this?"

It was only when he named

that photographer.

He said, "I've never

photographed Joyce McKinney.

I have no idea who she is."

And I said, "Well,

according to a friend of mine

"and a friend of hers,

she always came on modeling

assignments with her dog."

"Ah."

He dug out some magazines.

Soon as I saw it,

I said, "That's her."

I took that away, and I thought,

"Job well done."

We were getting somewhere.

We went back

to Steve's apartment,

and he brought up a phone bill.

Every itemized phone call Joyce

had made from the apartment

in the last three, four months.

Right.

Away we went

with the phone bill.

Frank Power and I

spent three hours

hitting every one

of those numbers on there.

Nobody had heard

of Joyce McKinney.

No idea who she was.

The dog was the link.

Always the dog.

It was only when Steve told me

that she took

the dog with her

that the photographer

could put a face to an alias.

- You learn, when you're famous,

who your friends are.

When the payrollees come out,

the checkbook journalists.

People that are real jealous

or maybe didn't like you

or need money, it's, "Yeah?

What do ya wanna know about her?

How much you pay me?"

I had a false friend,

and his name was Steve,

and he was a creep.

He had the key

to the outside of my apartment

so he could go in

and walk my dog.

He broke in a steamer trunk.

I had huge pictures of me in

there from a modeling portfolio.

He sold those to The Sun

and the Daily Mirror.

Both were in contests

to see who could do the worst

Joyce McKinney story.

When those Daily Mirror

reporters

showed up on his doorstep,

they turned him

and bragged about it.

They sent him and

his prostitute crony to Mexico

so that they

wouldn't be prosecuted

for breaking and entering

my apartment.

- We were worried about Steve,

that somebody

was gonna get to him.

So we kept Steve out of the way

of all our opposition in Mexico

for about ten days until we

finished with the story.

He didn't realize that it was

to keep him out of the way.

I mean, he could've made

a lot of money

by telling his side

of the story.

All he got from us

was a promise

to be at the Old Bailey

when Joyce goes to trial.

We were coming up with more

material than you could believe,

unpublishable material,

bondage pictures,

her wrestling with Thai girls,

mud wrestling, nudes.

The service that were offered

were oral sex, massage, bondage.

Laura would have

the full intercourse

if they paid enough money.

Joyce would do the bondage

and anything else they needed,

including oral sex,

but that was it.

I said to him,

"Well, what happens

if this ever got

out of control?"

And he said,

"Oh, we had that fixed."

I won't try to get his accent.

He said,

"I bugged the dog's collar."

I said, "You did what?"

He said, "I put a bug

in the collar of the dog."

I said, "What, the dog went with

her on these sexual encounters?"

"Oh, yeah, always."

He said, "And if it got

out of hand,

"I'd be sitting outside

with a couple of other guys,

and we would go in."

- So is he sitting in

a coffee shop with headphones?

- He was sitting in the car.

Steve was very much in love

with Joyce.

We asked him if he'd ever

had sex with her, and he said,

"Shoot, man, nobody's ever

had sex with Joyce."

That was the quote from him.

- Nobody?

- "Nobody."

That was the quote.

When Mike Malloy,

who was the editor

of the Mirror at that time,

asked me how

we were getting on, I said,

"It's interesting, Mike.

You'll be pleased to see

what we've got."

"Do you have a picture of her

in a swimsuit?"

I said, "Oh, yes.

We've got that."

- I mean, worms crawl

out of the woodwork

when you become famous,

worms, cockroaches!

- Mike called me to say,

"I better let you know

that tomorrow we're gonna run,

for a week,

with 'The Real McKinney' story."

And that was the front page,

"The Real McKinney."

- Their front page was

going to be Joyce, naked,

but lying on her stomach.

And ours was going to be

these pictures of her as a nun.

One paper projecting her

as an innocent,

sweet-natured woman,

a God-fearing, religious woman,

who was a victim

of cruel circumstances.

And the other, the Daily Mirror,

projected her

as a kind of manipulating,

sex-crazed, part-time hooker.

Somewhere in between, maybe,

is the truth.

- The Express came, and they

actually let me tape-record

what I said, and they

printed it word-for-word.

And that same week, the Mirror

came out with the story.

They had painted a totally

different picture of me.

If I was well-educated,

they made me stupid.

If I was a virgin in real life,

they made me a slut.

- We did the fantasy

that Joyce wanted promoted

to the millions

of English readers.

- Yeah, you became her tool,

her slave.

- Oh, totally.

I became her slave, yes.

We were all her slaves.

The Daily Express

did buy the story,

and it was only Joyce's story,

what she wanted to say

about the kidnapping,

what she did or did not do

with Kirk.

She wasn't gonna tell a story

about her hooker assignments.

She can't say it never happened

because there it is

in black-and-white.

It was Joyce.

- Well, her claim is, of course,

that those pictures

were doctored.

- You don't doctor negatives.

We had the negative,

print, and the magazine.

Get out of that, Joyce.

- The Sun put my head

on another person's naked body.

And she was flat-chested

as a board.

I mean, the girl was flat

in her front.

As you see, I'm not flat

in my front.

- So it was clear that

this woman's breasts...

- Were not me.

Those are fried eggs!

The Sun admitted

it was a fake picture.

They came out and said,

"This is a composite picture."

But the Daily Mirror didn't.

The Daily Mirror tried to make

it look like I was a whore.

- On the only occasion

when I did meet her

a bit later, she said,

in her accent, you know,

"I don't pose nude."

Of course, sitting

on the editor's desk

was over 1,000 pictures

and magazines

and negatives of her

that we already had.

She never knew that, of course.

I never took a picture,

which is really unusual for me.

The only thing

I ever wanted to do

was photograph Joyce

with no clothes on.

And I ended up picking up

hundreds of other people

who did it.

Bit strange.

- Do you still have

the photographs?

- Unfortunately,

only the pictures

that were published

in the Mirror at the time.

The file, which was

between 800 and 1,000 pictures,

were all locked up in a safe.

But unfortunately,

the Mirror Group

changed ownership,

and along with

a lot of other things,

all that dossier went missing.

- We were in the hotel room,

and Joyce was constantly calling

her friend

in North London saying,

"Have you seen the papers yet?

Have you seen the papers yet?"

She'd gotten the newspapers,

the early editions

of the newspapers,

and had them laid out

in front of her

and was on the telephone saying,

"And the Mirror says this,

and the Mirror says that.

"And there's a photograph

of you here with no clothes on.

"And there's another photograph

of you here standing on a man

in a bedroom."

And this is when Joyce

freaked out.

She was so appalled

and enraged and distressed

about all the stuff

that the Mirror had been

printing about her,

'cause she had no idea

this was gonna happen at all.

She just went crazy,

went absolutely crazy.

Brian realized that he had

to stop this conversation

and that she mustn't learn

any more,

'cause we didn't know

what she was going to do.

So he didn't even bother

to disconnect the telephone

in a civilized way.

He just grabbed the wires

and pulled them out of the wall.

He didn't unplug them;

he just pull...

and bits of plaster came out,

I remember, with it.

- This is a very unusual kind

of behavior, no?

Wouldn't you just

hang the phone up?

- Well, Joyce McKinney

had it in both hands

screwed into her ear.

I mean, she was really scary,

really scary.

She appeared to kind of fly

across the room,

as far as I remember it,

and clung on to the curtains,

which partly came away

on the rail.

She was completely hysterical.

Then she went for the balcony.

I dived after her and sort of

grabbed her by the ankles.

I didn't know whether

she was going to jump off,

'cause if she had done, I think

there were probably tourists

on deck chairs underneath.

She would've probably

taken them out too.

So it would have been very

embarrassing, to say the least.

- I looked down, and I could see

all the reporters

milling around outside

trying to get their shot,

trying to get their shot.

You know, even as far up

as I was,

they were trying

to get their shot.

And I thought, "All I have to do

is just climb up on this rail

"and just splatter,

and I will be dead.

"I'll be in heaven.

There will be no more tabloid

reporters ever to ruin my life."

- She went a bit up the wall.

She tried to climb up

and jump off the balcony.

"I want to meet my Maker!"

- K.J. came running in

the motel room, and he's just,

"Don't let 'em win!

"If you die,

the truth dies with you,

"and nobody will ever know

what really happened.

Nobody will know

how much you loved him."

- She was screaming.

She was hysterical.

She was completely

out of control.

We got her to a hospital.

We were thinking in terms of

a pill of some kind,

but this nurse appeared

with a large syringe

and just stuck it in her.

And we wheeled her out

in this wheelchair

that was provided,

unconscious,

and got her back to the hotel.

Her father, this gentle man,

came in with his wife

and tried to put his arms

around Joyce.

And she just sunk her teeth

into his forearm.

And there was an awful kind

of tussle.

And he managed

to get himself free,

and there was blood

trickling down his arm.

He'd been attacked by a vampire.

Joyce then fled the whole lot

of us in her nightie.

And we kind of followed her

and chased her down.

And there was this freeway

that went past the back

of the hotel with huge trucks

and cars whizzing past

in both directions.

I remember seeing her

run across this freeway,

miraculously being missed

by all these vehicles

and kind of disappearing

somewhere into the distance.

- I know.

Exactly.

- Because would you believe

McKinney is back?

Joyce McKinney,

the "sex in chains" girl,

arrested.

- She kept us all entertained

in 1977.

- She used to phone me up

every day, two or three times,

for months, saying,

"Lawks, have mercy!

I'll kill myself... what

the Daily Mirror said about me."

And seven years later,

she'll still pursuing

this unfortunate Mormon.

Can you believe it?

- Oh, dear.

- You saw him in 1984?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I was at the airport,

and his... overweight

Mormon wife saw me.

And I guess she was disturbed

I was using the public airport.

She went and called the police

and said,

"Oh, McKinney's here.

Go get her."

- What was his job

at the airport?

- I hate to say this,

but he was a doo-doo dipper.

- A doo-doo dipper?

- Yeah.

- What is a doo-doo dipper?

- That's someone

who takes the doo-doo

off the back of the plane.

They married him off

to this big, overweight woman,

and they told her to start

having kids as quick as possible

so that he would get over me.

That fact that I could have

given him children, I guess,

was bypassed.

I was kind of glad

she was not too good-looking.

I mean, If she had been

really great-looking,

I would have probably felt

really awful, you know?

Cried my eyes out,

but it wasn't any competition,

if you know what I mean.

The only thing she had

that I didn't have

was 100 extra pounds,

and she was a Mormon.

- She was found lurking

outside his office.

I think she was arrested

for stalking him or something.

- Do you still love him?

- I'll die loving him.

I never got married

because of him.

I'm the incurable romantic,

you know?

The idea of marrying somebody

that I didn't love

and having to sleep with him

and have his kids

and live a humdrum, blasè life

with half a love...

I would rather have

a short few weeks

with someone who was

the star in the crown

than to spend my life

with someone and be miserable.

Love is not a changing thing.

It doesn't... it's a steadfast

and eternal thing.

It's like an eternal flame.

It doesn't just stop because

of circumstances or situations.

It goes on, even past death.

- It's a very bleak future

you paint for yourself.

What is gonna happen to you?

- Well, first of all,

I want to write my book

and make sure

that the truth comes out,

because, regardless

of what you've heard,

I haven't sold my life story

to anyone, to any newspapers.

The only newspaper I have talked

to has been the Express,

who did the article about

my adventures in America,

and that's it.

And I want my story to be told.

- Are you really prepared

to condemn yourself,

'cause that's what it is,

to a very solitary life?

- Yes.

Today's date

is September 25, 1986.

September 25, 1986.

It is the interior

of the McKinneys' house,

the office.

This is the office

where the McKinney daughter

is currently working on a book.

Could you work

at this computer

with the Benfield coon dogs

barking outside your window?

My father is trying

to take a nap.

Outside, both Benfield hounds

are barking.

This shot is done

through the screen.

This shot made

on August 8, 1986,

shows absolutely nothing around.

This shot shows absolutely

nothing in the picture.

This shot made

on August 8, 1986,

shows absolutely nothing

in the picture.

This shot made

on August 8, 1986,

shows absolutely

no other animals

or anything in the picture

to agitate the barking

Benfield hound.

This is the same dog, of course,

that's been barking

in the other pictures.

I finally got

what's called agoraphobia.

It's when you can't

go out of the house.

We had a big old farmhouse

with a river on one side

and woods on the other.

And we thought that was, like,

a natural barrier to paparazzi.

But they would just

put on fisherman boots

and just wade

right through that river.

I remember one time a woman

came on our property,

ignored

the "no trespassing" signs,

and she was just gawking

in the window,

like, trying to get up

to see what Joyce McKinney

looked like.

It went on like that for years.

I could barely get out

to go feed the horses.

So finally, I got me

this big old guard dog.

His name was Tough Guy.

He was a huge dog.

He weighed about 150 pounds.

Solid muscle.

Pit bull mastiff bulldog.

Jaws like a alligator.

And I just put him right

out in the front yard like,

"Come on, boys.

Come on."

One day, he got bee-stung.

These two women

that worked at the pharmacy

who didn't like me

decided that it'd just be a hoot

to add a zero onto

that Prednisone prescription

for Joyce McKinney's guard dog.

Wouldn't that be funny?

Probably drive him nutty,

wouldn't it?

Well, it drove him

more than nutty.

The capillaries

in his brain exploded.

But not before he attacked me.

He didn't know who I was.

He amputated...

I can't raise this arm up.

But he amputated my left arm.

He tore off three fingers

on this hand.

He ripped my intestines out

of my stomach wall.

He shredded my knee

from my right kneecap

to my ankle.

I was bleeding to death.

I was dying.

A few months before this,

I had found a little dog

by the side of the road

going through garbage cans.

I named him Booger.

And Booger

was a little pit bull.

I hit the brakes,

and I backed up,

and I got out, and I said,

"Could you use a friend?

"I could use a friend too.

Okay, I'm a softie.

Get in the car."

So he went...

He had a little five-beat

musical bark, Booger did.

Booger, Booger, Booger.

I had taken him home with me,

not realizing that he was

gonna be famous someday

or that he would save my life

or change the lives... my life

and the lives of so many people.

The night that this big mastiff

attacked me, the guard dog,

I got next door

to where Booger was.

I said, "Help me, Booger,"

and Booger shot out,

and he jumped on that other dog

and pulled it off of me.

It was a fight to the death,

and I thought,

"Poor little Booger,

he's gonna give himself

in a Christlike love for me."

When I came home

from the hospital,

he sat on the bed beside me,

and we healed together,

and we formed a bond,

a friendship.

Booger was a very special dog.

Not only was he

a licensed service dog,

but one day he just got up

and unlocked the door,

and then he started

dialing 911 with his paw.

He had a big button phone.

And I'd say, "Booger, help!

Dial 911."

He'd go, whomp!

"Booger, I need a towel.

Go get me a towel

out of the dryer, buddy."

He'd go in there into the dryer

and get me a towel.

"Hey, Booger, get me a pop

out of the refrigerator."

And he'd go get me one,

and he'd so gently carry it

so he wouldn't burst it

with his teeth

and drop it in my lap.

He got me through

that tough time.

For ten years, he was my helper.

My beloved old friend Booger

passed away in my arms

of cancer in April of 2006.

I tried everything

in the world to save him.

I took him to every

veterinary hospital I could.

I said, "You can't die, buddy.

"You're all I have.

We're a package deal.

You can't die."

That was the last command

I gave him, "You can't die."

And he looked at me as if he

didn't want to disappoint me.

And those eyes,

with age-old wisdom,

those dark brown eyes

looked at me like, "Don't worry.

I'll see you again.

This is not the end for us."

I just wanted to go to heaven,

and I thought God

would just have Booger there

on a cloud for me or something.

And I'd had such a sad life,

you know,

with all the tabloid mess.

And I thought,

"I just want the hurt to stop.

And I can't do without him."

Then I heard about cloning.

You know, I thought, "Well,

I'll just give it a stab."

I contacted Dr. Byeong Chun Lee

and asked him

if it was possible.

I wrote him a letter in Korean,

translated it,

and then tracked down

his phone number.

And he goes,

"I can clone your dog."

I said, "Are you sure?

I mean, is it possible

I could have my old boy back?"

He goes, "I can."

- Do you ever feel like God?

- What their plan was

is to take a little piece

of tissue from Booger's tummy,

put it in liquid nitrogen

for its safe trip back

to Seoul, Korea.

They flew back with the help

of Homeland Security.

Homeland Security

guarding these little cells.

- Guarding Booger.

- Well, to me,

it was Spirit Booger.

That's what we called it.

It was like an orb of light

moved along the fuselage

of the plane.

And people were saying,

"What is that?"

But I knew.

I knew it was old Spirit Booger.

I closed my eyes, and I said

a silent prayer, and I said,

"Oh, Heavenly Father,

please take good care of him."

And it was like he spoke

to my heart, and said,

"Don't worry.

"He's with me, and he's fine.

"And you, you are going

to be fine too,

"because I've got Booger 1,

"but I'm sending you back

Booger 2

and a little something extra."

- I get this

long-distance phone call.

It's Dr. Hong.

"Miss Brenann, what is best news

I can bring to you?"

And I said, "We're pregnant?

We're pregnant!"

He said, "We are."

On August the 5th,

I flew to Seoul, Korea.

- Well, I found out what

the little something extra was

that Heavenly Father

had promised me.

There were five.

- Five?

- Five cloned puppies,

all exactly like Booger,

five mini Boogers lying there

like little black jelly rolls

with half the world press

crowding around.

They just looked like

little tiny mini Boogers.

It was the strangest feeling.

The weirdest thing is,

I was sitting in a hotel

in Seoul, Korea,

and one of them got up

and opened the door,

and he was four months old.

And I just went...

I thought, "How'd he know that?

I didn't train them to do that."

You know, they have

those little refrigerators

with little wooden doors,

like a cabinet, in hotels.

And he just reached right up,

got that silver knob,

and jerked it open

with his teeth

just like old Booger used to do.

And then, when one of them

got the leash

and went over to the door

and dropped it like,

"Walk me, now,"

like Booger did,

it blew me away.

I said, "These are his clones."

- It was $25,000,

if I can remember.

- Well, the original price was,

I believe, $150,000.

- Was it?

God.

She must like her dogs.

I don't know.

Some girl.

- It was in all the papers.

"Dog cloning girl turns out

to be the Joyce McKinney,"

because she pretended

it wasn't her to start with.

She called herself

Brenann McKinney.

Something like Brenann,

was it?

- Berman McKinney,

or something like that.

I forget what name she used.

I knew right away it was Joyce.

- Why?

- Well, I think there was

a photograph.

And she hadn't changed

that much.

- I thought if I used

my middle name

that I would just be left alone

by the press,

because I don't see

any connection at all

between cloned puppies

and a 32-year-old

sex-in-chains story.

I'm sorry, but I don't see

the connection.

But you should have seen

the way Associated Press...

those people slandered me

so bad.

In fact, if there's an attorney

listening to this

that wants a good libel suit,

I've got one.

- "I'll sue anybody," she said,

"who says I'm

that Joyce McKinney.

I'm not that Joyce McKinney."

But she had to admit

that she was.

- I was afraid to have a love

affair of any kind after Kirk.

I was afraid to kiss a guy.

So I chose just

to be celibate and...

as Bridget Bardot once said,

"I gave my youth to men,

and my old age I give to dogs

that I trust."

Dogs and children love me.

They love Joyce McKinney,

because they sense in me

an innocence, you know?

They sense in me a gentleness.

And they don't read

tabloid papers.

They love me for me.

- She's not an evil person.

I mean, she's just a bit crazy,

eccentric, self-obsessed,

and self-involved

and manipulative

and barking mad, probably,

basically, but...

- "Barking mad."

- Yeah.

- I wish we had that expression

over here.

- You can have it.

- You can tell yourself

a million times,

"God knows the truth."

And it would be nice

if all you had to deal with

every day was God.

But you don't.

You have to deal with people.

I didn't plan on any of

the tabloids destroying my life

or the Mormons or the press

or the wire services.

That was not in my plans.

I really didn't have

much choice

other than to make

some kind of move in my life.

I had promised God

I was gonna write the book.

Finally.

No matter how much it hurt me.

But someone broke into

my pickup truck.

I had an entire cab

full of materials.

I had court cases,

court records.

I had all

the interview witnesses.

I had all the exhibits.

I had the original

modeling portfolio

which matched the head

that was put on the naked body.

My whole life is

in those three suitcases.

And this was an old pickup.

They pried the wing open

with an orange screwdriver,

and they took coat hangers,

pulled the door open,

took absolutely everything

documenting the story

I've just told you,

took everything,

with the exception of one little

yellow laundry basket

which had somehow

wedged under the seat.

At least I had something to show

that this nightmare ordeal

happened to what was once

a normal, all-American kid.

"After her miraculous escape

to America,

"Joyce retreats into seclusion

to write a book

"about her love story.

"She vows never to marry,

"knowing fully

that she could never love

"another man other than Kirk,

"for she will grow old alone.

"The love that once spanned

an entire continent

and ocean still exists."

"Time changes, but the scene

is still the same.

"Joyce is now

a lonely old woman.

"Like Narcissus,

she is pining to death,

dying of a broken heart."

That's the conclusion of my book,

but the love has never ended.