Szenario (2014) - full transcript

Thursday, 17 December 1970

Sigrid Neumann stood me up,

despite three postcards from me.

M. went upstairs with me at 5 p.m.,

no photos.

Red skirt, white sweater.

First smoked a few cigarettes,

then went to bed at 5:30 p.m.

She left her white sweater and bra on.

M. was very sweet to me, cuddly.

First we cuddled in bed

and then I removed her white panties.

After I had played with her clit for a while,

she put her right leg over my legs,

so that her cunt was wide open,

she had an orgasm.

I couldn't get it up though,

since the stress with a certain person

about Christmas

had gotten me down.

She played with me tenderly

until I got a hard-on.

Then sex, on back.

I came very very quickly.

M. probably didn't get much from it,

but she was very loving

and understanding to me.

Not hurtful.

Then we cuddled like spoons

facing the wall

and slept from 6 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.,

stayed in bed until 7 p.m.

Quotation from:

Max Frisch, Biography: A Game.

Seagull Books. London, New York, Calcutta. 2010.

Page 48.

"Do you believe

that an individual’s biography

is, after all, actually binding,

an expression of necessity –

or that...

.. I might as well have

a quite different biography by accident,

and that the one we end up with one day,

this biography with all the dates

that we are so fed up with,

this one is not even necessarily

the most likely one:

it is merely one option,

one out of many

which would be just as possible

under the same social

and historical conditions,

and with the same preconditions of the person?

What then, if you look at it this way,

can a biography tell us at all?

You understand –

whether this biography is better or worse

is not the question here.

I just refuse to give meaning

to everything that once happened –

just because it happened,

just because it became history

and is therefore irreversible –

I refuse to give it a meaning

which it doesn’t deserve."

A room of uncertain size.

White walls, dark floor.

A chair, a brown wooden table.

On it a black leather briefcase,

a tape recorder and a microphone.

The tape is running.

A woman's voice comes from the tape.

She is reading documents,

each of which has an archive number.

Steps are heard,

a woman enters the room,

steps to the table,

puts on white cotton gloves,

opens the briefcase

and takes out various documents,

photographs, and items,

which she lines up on the table.

The tape continues to run.

Document No. D 004

Monday, 7 September 1970

During the lunch break

Rosi said to Monika:

"Mrs. Schiecks,

you have a poor character.

You're ruining a marriage."

Tuesday, 8 September 1970

Approx. 10 a.m. Monika said to me:

"You're going to let your wife insult me?

That's it with sex,

mount your wife, do whatever you want,

you're not getting anything more from me."

As a result my wife had to apologize

to Mrs. Schiecks

during the lunch break on 8 September 1970.

Afterwards,

Tuesday, 8 September 1970

After work went upstairs,

5:15 – 5:30 p.m. made love one time, on back.

Afterwards went to Old Cologne.

Wednesday, 9 September 1970

"My husband," said Monika,

"made love to me on 8 September

from about 9:50 until 10:30 p.m.,

and wanted to again

in the early morning

of Wednesday, 9 September,

but I had gotten my period."

Menstruation:

early Wednesday,

6 o'clock.

Main characters in this story:

A woman called Monika

and a man called Hans.

Hans documents in writing

that Monika has threatened him –

her boss, employer, and lover –

with the withdrawal of her sexual favors

if his wife doesn't apologize to her.

Monika is successful.

The wife apologizes to her

and on the same day

Monika and Hans make love

in the flat "upstairs," above the office.

In the morning of that same day,

Hans writes,

Monika's husband Walter also slept with her.

Assuming…

Assuming the man named Hans

isn't writing about extrordinary events.

Not about wishes, fantasies,

dreams or nightmares –

but about facts.

About plain, ordinary reality.

A handbook for secretaries from 1970

offers the trite wisdom:

"That which people assume to be real

is real."

Romance in the office

Secretary 1970?

Shorthand: unsatisfactory.

Diligence: deficient.

Sex: excellent.

My [---]'s secretary destroyed our marriage (a wife)

Assuming that this reality,

as described by someone other than Monika,

is also Monika's own –

and that she is an average representative

of this reality.

A few considerations as to Monika's identity

as a representative of her country,

her home town,

her generation,

her gender,

her level of education,

her professional and family situation:

Sources:

German Parliament, 6th legislative period,

Report VI/3689, Appendix 2:

Women in Families and Professions 1970

Statistical Almanac of the City of Cologne 1970

The Almanac of Public Opinion 1968-1973

Various issues of JASMIN –

the Magazine for Living as a Couple

and a trade journal for secretaries

as well as various sociological

and demographic studies,

guidebooks, and daily newspapers:

In 1970 about 46 million adults

over the age of 16

live in the Federal Republic of Germany.

53.6% of them are women.

Monika does not only

belong to this majority,

but also to the one-fourth

of the adult population

between the ages of 16 and 29.

Monika is one of the 449,292 women

who live in Cologne in 1970.

The entire population of the city

is 862,282,

and Monika belongs to

the 1.4% of the population

that are female and born in 1946.

She shares these characteristics

with 6,279 other people.

In the part of the city where Monika lives,

there are 9,436 women.

In this part of the city in 1970,

there are 921 women for every 1,000 men.

In the city as a whole,

there are 1,088 women for every 1,000 men.

Like 3,673 female inhabitants of Cologne

born in the same year,

and two-thirds of all West German adults,

Monika is married.

With only two members,

the size of Monika's and her husband's household

is below the 1970 West German average

of 2.74 people per household.

In all probability,

they live in a rented apartment,

on a normal street with little traffic.

The apartment costs between 2.50 and 2.80 Marks per square meter,

and probably has a bathroom and toilet

but no central heating.

It is at medium distance from the city center.

If, in March 1970, Monika had been asked

if she liked the view from her apartment,

she would have answered "Yes"

with 63% probability.

In the same month, somewhat more than

one-fourth of all West German adults

preferred living in a large city.

Exactly the same percentage

preferred living in the country.

Hans writes:

Wednesday, 9 September 1970,

Monika and I in Neukirch.

Trailer and Kurfürst Hotel.

Ate beef and pepper salad.

Everything back to normal.

Document No. D 006

Sunday, 13 September 1970

2:45 p.m. upstairs in bedroom

3 p.m. nice romp

(on back and on side)

3:15 p.m. fingered Monika

Slept until 5 p.m.,

renewed fingering,

then longer love-making, on back

– fantastic!

Remained upstairs until 7 p.m.,

then dinner at Old Cologne,

drove Monika home.

It was a nice day.

Eight days later, Hans notes

that Monika doesn't want to sleep

with either him

or her husband Walter.

On the next day:

Tuesday, 22 September 1970

Smoked, drank Escorial,

then went to bed at 3:30 p.m. until 3:40 p.m.

Then another cigarette and went downstairs.

Monika came down later.

Thank you!, I said.

It was really exceptionally great in bed.

Sound?

- Check!

Scene 2-1, take 3,

production sound.

... and action.

Cut!

In all probability,

after finishing high school

Monika went to a secretarial school

and received a certificate.

Monika is one of the 46% of West German women

who had a job in 1970,

and one of the nearly 60%

of the working women interviewed

who had a white-collar job,

almost certainly in an office,

with "no decision-making authority"

and "performing a simple task."

Soon I'll finally be rid of the schoolbooks.

Thank God.

– Now that you're done with school,

what do you want to do?

Oh, there are so many possibilities.

– Yeah, there are plenty.

But you've got to choose one!

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe I'll work in an office?

– So many girls want to work in an office.

Do you know anything about it?

Hmmm, well …

.. it's warm.

You don't [---] your [---],

and you can get ahead!

– Yeah, that happens.

Mostly in the movies.

Let's keep our feet on the ground.

The author of "Teenager 1x1" from 1959 writes

that he saw a "delightful" film recently:

"Everything about it ...

.. was great.

The boss behaved great,

he was about 30 years old,

wore evening dress on every occasion,

whether appropriate or not,

and wrapped up the riskiest business transactions

with a casual phone call.

His office was as fantastic as he was –

a glass palace,

full of electronic brains, magnetophones,

and electric typewriters.

The best of all though was his secretary.

The glass palace seemed to be built just for her.

She had ash blond hair,

wore the most fashionable dresses,

and, if her clothes were any indication,

must have drawn a salary

that would make every managing director

green with envy.

She was touchingly concerned about her boss,

and they got along fabulously

on a personal level.

He didn't just dictate letters to her,

he also took her on drives to the country,

or to the nearby mountains.

Of course everything was completely harmless

and strictly on the up-and-up.“

Many a wholesome girl

has put her small-town past behind her

to seek her fortune in the city on the Rhine.

She may have found her boss's trust

and an electric typewriter,

but did she find happiness?

The division head, the assistant director,

even the janitor – married men.

And so, month for month,

the morning drive to work

becomes just a little more dreary.

The author of "Teenager 1x1"

knows another version of the story:

"The boss wasn't quite as convincing,

but attractive enough

that the young secretary fell in love with him,

or perhaps with his car.

On top of everything else

he was especially friendly to her.

He occasionally invited her on little outings;

first they just went for coffee,

then later they sometimes had dinner,

then he took her to a quiet bar,

and finally on weekend trips away from the city.

The little secretary didn't quite know

what was happening to her.

She had always lived quite unassumingly,

and really enjoyed finally being pampered.

And besides,

she was promoted to a better-paid position,

and noticed, with pride,

that she was treated especially well by her colleagues.

She never suspected, or even understood,

what they really thought about her."

Document No. D 021

Tuesday, 6 October 1970,

or Wednesday, 7 October 1970,

Monika should begin period.

Presumably will get new prescription for pill

from Dr. G. on Ebert Square,

since previous prescription for only one month!

This letter contains the third pack of pills,

empty.

On Monday, 12 October 1970,

received prescription for three-month supply

= 3 packs of Eugynon 21,

packs bought for 16.60 Marks.

On Monday, 12 October 1970,

6 p.m. first pill taken

from new supply for Monday.

Start each pack only on Mondays

(no day may be left out)

= one pack a week,

then stop until period comes.

Consequently last pill from this empty pack

taken on Sunday, 4 October 1970.

Then period began Wednesday morning

(7 October 1970, ...

Since Monika had taken a bath

on Saturday, 10 October 1970,

screwed upstairs in the evening,

sheet full of blood.

Remaining days of period

discharge after ejaculation without using towel.

On 10 October Hans notes

that Monika is in a bad mood,

he would rather leave.

After going to a restaurant and the hairdresser,

she apparently perked up.

They go to bed upstairs.

On the next day, a Sunday,

photos in the park,

quick stop at the office,

cola upstairs,

listened to records,

and photos before and after sex.

Monika's ovaries produce an average of

between 20 and 100 milligrams of estrogen

and between 5 and 12 milligrams of androgen.

These values will remain relatively constant

for the next 20 years

and Monika will get her period

about 260 more times.

If asked about her health in April 1969,

she probably would have ranked it

between "okay" and "very good."

One year later, in July 1970,

the probability of a "very good"

would have risen by 8%,

the probability of an "okay"

would have fallen by 9.

Monika's life expectancy is 76.

If this expectancy is fulfilled,

she will die in 2022.

If Monika were asked in June 1967

if she sometimes thought about death,

she would have answered "never"

with a 49% probability.

3½ years later,

a nearly identical percentage

of people in her age group will admit

that they don't believe in life after death.

44% of mid- and low-level

white-collar workers

are of the same opinion.

If Monika were to die in 1970 –

for whatever reasons –

she would be one of 97 female deaths

in her part of the city

and one of 5,157 female deaths

in the entire city.

Most of the women aged between 20 and 25

died in May, July, and November.

In total, 15 women in this age group

died in 1970.

Six of these 15 women

died as a result of an accident,

another six as a result of illness,

one died during a miscarriage,

and one was murdered.

None of these 15 women committed suicide.

Seven of the 15 were married,

none of them were divorced.

If, however, Monika were one

of the 14 married Catholic women

who committed suicide in 1970,

the motive probably would have been

"emotional depression."

Monika would have taken her life

with "poison or similar substances."

If the motive had been "marriage problems,"

her death would have resulted from

“falling from a great height.”

All three women who committed suicide in 1970

because of "heart-ache"

also chose "poison or similar substances."

Love Your City

Sunday, 11 October 1970,

as described,

approx. 3 p.m. shagged with Monika upstairs,

that evening Walter shagged her.

Concession from Monika:

"He's my husband, after all."

In Stracks at 7 p.m.

I said to Walter:

"I ate lunch with Moni,

drove her to Aunt A.,

then went back to the office."

In Stracks,

Walter made advances to Monika

and felt up both legs.

She said:

"Don't do that here, later."

At 9:30 Walter said:

"Let's hit the road" –

(Monika wasn't very nice to Walter at all,

since she had been in bed with me at 3 p.m.)

Document No. D 034

25 October 1970

After lunch, it was approx. 1:15 p.m.,

drove to E. Street.

Nearly ran into my wife,

as she came from buying cigarettes.

We waited on L. Street

until the air was clear,

then went upstairs.

Monika wore:

dress, light blue,

with white and brown skirt,

high white boots

and a persian wool jacket

with mink collar.

Some photos in the bar,

drank orange juice and an Escorial,

watched TV and listened to records.

2:15 p.m. I said: "Shall we?"

She said yes,

took off the brown dress

and first put on the red dress

with the low neckline.

2:20 p.m. in bed.

Completely naked, both.

M. always lies on the inside

and turns to face me.

I wanted to play with her pussy,

but she said "it burns, it hurts."

Thereupon we fucked.

First, for a short time on back,

then she bent right leg

and I threw my left leg over it.

This position pushed my body up.

She fucked me back hard

so that I came relatively fast.

She kept going until it slipped out.

One more cigarette was smoked

and then only one photo after fucking,

she didn't want to.

M. said:

"That was the last time,

it burns like fire and I'm not a robot."

Approx. 3 p.m. drove to P. Street,

where I dropped her off at the garage.

She said:

"I'm going to tell Walter that you called

and asked if we'd be at Stracks tonight.

You'll be there, right?"

I confirmed.

Last Sunday

Walter and Walter's mother said:

"Something's not right

about you and Hans being together so much."

Seven conditional clauses

directed at cuckolded husbands:

If your wife starts

buying pretty lingerie,

gets a new hair style, daydreams,

is suddenly interested in the stock market,

rearranges the furniture

and needs more pocket money …

If your wife goes to the hairdresser,

to the tailor, or to the dentist

strangely often,

or visits her friend,

or goes twice to see her mother,

who lives in a different city ...

If your wife claims to be tired,

have a headache or not feel well

when you go to bed ...

If you find a large bouquet

when you come home in the evening ...

If your wife

suddenly has a new piece of jewelry

that looks valuable,

but that she claims is costume jewelry ...

If your wife suddenly starts

locking the door

while taking a bath ...

If you suspect,

that your wife is cheating on you

with someone at the office

where she works ...

Although her husband earns decently,

Monika would say that she works

to supplement the household income.

Her husband probably

approves of her working.

In all probability

Monika takes care of the house,

does the shopping,

and runs any errands pertaining to city hall.

Monika believes that she will continue to work

until she no longer can.

If Monika could choose again,

she would, in all probability,

choose the same profession.

Under no circumstances

would she rather be a housewife.

Monika works in an office,

full-time, five days a week

for the same number of hours every day.

The workday

is eight hours long.

There's no time clock,

and Monika doesn't have to work nights.

The lunch break

is between 30 and 60 minutes long,

and there is at least

one other break during the day.

Monika might be

one of the few

who occasionally work overtime.

Monika has a little more than

three hours of free time each day.

Time during which she can do

whatever she wants.

Monika goes out several evenings a week.

If asked where a woman could go

without a male escort,

she would probably rule out

the following places and occasions:

A bar,

dancing,

dinner at a restaurant,

and a social event or party

at a married couple's home.

On the other hand

it is highly probable

that she would go to the movies

without a male escort.

In September 1969,

every tenth woman between 16 and 29 said

that she wouldn't go anywhere

without a male escort.

A few questions:

Which part of the day do you prefer:

the time that you are at work,

or the time that you are not at work,

or do you like both the same?

Does it ever seem to you

that time passes slowly

on Sundays or holidays?

Do you think it would be best

not to have to work at all?

Would you consider yourself

more the cheerful or more the earnest type?

Do you sometimes feel lonely?

Do you have many or few

friends and acquaintances?

Do you sometimes play the lottery?

On 27 October Hans writes

that Monika was in a bad mood

from noon to 5 p.m.

After they talked for an hour,

"french kisses again and again."

As a result of a "preventative apology"

on his part,

everything was okay again.

On the next day,

bad cramps in her right calf,

possibly thrombosis.

The doctor suggested

she change her pill.

Hans writes:

On Sunday, 1 November 1970,

the first pack she's taking for me

is finished anyway.

Consequently period likely Wednesday.

Sunday trip to Trier on 1 November:

Monika allows Hans

to feel her up in the car,

but refuses to have sex with him.

That happens the next day,

Monday, 2 November, after work.

Monika tries on a dress

Hans bought for her,

Hans writes that the sex was wonderful.

"Several photos,"

and the next day after work:

dinner, photos, 2 Escorial,

sex, on back and in 'special position',

afterwards several photos of Monika

in front of the golden mirror

in her panties and stockings.

Document No. D 038

Monika plans to tell Walter

that she has to go out of town for two days

to see a psychologist.

Supposedly I will drive her there,

but actually she wants to go upstairs

and not come to work on Friday,

since there's the danger

that Walter might call

or even come into the office.

I am to tell Walter

that I've got dates on Thursday and Friday,

so I can't come to Stracks alone,

actually can't come at all.

I'll have to get groceries, etc. beforehand,

since Monika doesn't want

to leave the apartment

from Thursday until Saturday morning.

She's doing whatever she can

to keep me from meeting any other women

I might want to fuck.

That would be the end!

Walter should get the impression

that I'm seriously looking for another woman.

On the other hand I can clearly see

that Monika becomes very, very jealous

if I admit that even one thing is good

about someone new I've met.

I'm only allowed to see women

on an hourly basis

(one-night stands).

In 1970, the average age of women

seeking a partner in the personal ads

is 37.

The average age of men doing the same is 39.

Two-thirds of the women,

but only half of the men

conceal their age.

While women of all ages seek men

who are 8 to 12 years older,

men, the older they get,

prefer ever younger women.

And while every third woman

is looking for a "partner,"

only every tenth man

uses the word "partner" in his ad.

Men primarily advertise for a "lady."

This word appears in 40% of the advertisements.

... that's when you really

have to get ahold of yourself,

you have to think!

You can't let go of all reason!

Where would we be

if every girl, or in my case, me,

if every time I'm in a sentimental mood,

or if I'm hurting,

if I jump into bed with some man.

In that moment you have to ...

.. your brain has to kick in ...

.. and you have to think:

Heavens, where will that lead?

What are you doing?

You've always got to have

that thought in your head.

– Well, that depends on how every individual sees it.

You can't just rashly say ...

.. and ... as if you're thinking rationally.

Sometimes it just doesn't work.

Everybody's different.

Maybe one day

you'll be in the same situation,

and afterwards you'll say

"Now I'm convinced ...

you can't always be rational."

What nice lady would like to get to know

an independent business man (38)

with car and secure income?

No Adonis, but interested in cultural activities.

Marriage possible at future date.

Gentleman, 41 / 5' 11",

seeking simple, poor girl

or woman,

with or without children,

for possible marriage at future date.

Man, 41, 5' 8", with good job,

sophisticated, with apartment and car,

looking for pretty, charming lady

for marriage at later date.

Businessman, mid-40s,

with free time during day,

seeks girlfriend.

Financially independent businessman

in responsible position, late 30s,

looking for acquaintance and friendship with lady

who likes company

and appreciates pleasant hours together.

Document No. 045, hand-written letter

Angelika Janzen

Cologne-Mülheim

X St.

Tel. xxx-xxxx

Cologne, 30 October 1970

Today I am finally able

to respond to your advertisement

in the Cologne City Newspaper,

which I found very interesting.

I am 39 years old,

slim, medium-blond

and divorced as the innocent party.

Should you be interested in meeting,

you can ...

Met Mrs. Angelika Janzen,

from Cologne-Mülheim,

X Street, Tel. xxx-xxxx,

at 7:10 p.m.

at the revolving door at Schultheiß.

I found her attractive -

well-dressed and pleasant to talk to.

We drove to Hemmersbach for dinner

near St. Agnes.

Since no tables were free,

we sat with Walter and Monika at theirs –

they didn't let on.

When another table became available,

Mrs. Janzen wanted to move there,

so we did.

Mrs. Janzen:

divorced 3 years ago,

14-year-old daughter

comes to visit her every two weeks –

Saturday, 7 November,

21 November 1970,

etc.

Walter and Monika left after they had eaten,

went to the Juwelier on Neuß Square, 8 p.m.

Mrs. Janzen and I

went to Stracks at 8:15 p.m.

I liked this woman –

she has a gentleman friend from Duisburg

who visits her once a week (!).

At 10 p.m. Monika gave me clear signals

that she wanted to see me.

I spontaneously made my apologies

to Mrs. Janzen.

Monika made a scene (jealousy).

There'd be no more intercourse between us,

I should go screw Mrs. Janzen, etc.

Later she calmed down and promised:

to go upstairs on Thursday,

5 November 1970, at 5 p.m.

and to stay there until 7:30 p.m.,

thereupon to go to Schultheiß,

where she would meet a 6' 2" man

named Dumm.

I was to meet there at 8 p.m.,

one Vera Nowak from Leverkusen,

X Street, Tel. xxx-xxxx.

Monika plans to jilt Mr. Dumm

and get rid of him around 9:30,

with the excuse that she has to meet someone.

I should do the same

so we can be alone together,

which she prefers.

Do you think that most people are trustworthy?

Do you think there are more malicious people

than benevolent people in the world?

Would you consider yourself

more the cheerful or the earnest type?

Do you have many or few

friends and acquaintances?

Do you sometimes feel lonely?

If you were to be born again,

would you rather be a man or a woman?

Document No. D 047

Thursday, 5 November 1970

Monika called around 11 o'clock and said:

"Schnaggel?

I still haven't gotten my period!

Dr G. says it could be hormonal

and I should stop taking the pill!

If I'm pregnant,

I don't need the pill anyway.

And if I'm not, I've still got

two months worth of pills.

If I'm pregnant

I'm going to get rid of it.

I'll get the shots

in the next couple of days!!!"

Otherwise she was in a good mood.

Saturday, 7 November 1970

11:30 this morning at M's.

Annoyed since no period yet.

(Supposed to come on Wednesday, 4 November).

Walter took Monika home from Stracks

just after midnight Friday night

and wanted to screw.

M. lied to him,

said she had period.

He didn't check –

he never does –

Between the 6th and the 12th of November,

Hans meets with a woman

named Gabriele Brückner,

sleeps with her

and tells Monika a harmless story.

Monika, on the other hand,

wants him to tell her husband

that he "screwed" this Brückner woman.

Hans continues to meet

with Gabriele Brückner,

whom he considers "sex-starved"

because she moans in bed and enjoys herself.

Meanwhile, Monika doesn't want to sleep

either with Hans or her husband,

which leads to a big fight

between the husband and wife.

Sunday, 8 November 1970

Monika, icy cold,

she still hasn't gotten her period,

which should have come

on Wednesday, 4 November 1970.

She said:

"It's my fault.

Why did I ever get involved with you,

I might be pregnant

and I don't even know whose it is.

I've been doing it

with both you and Walter

and I let you both come inside of me

since I was counting on the pill."

"I'll get an abortion and then, Hans,

there will be no more intercourse between us!

I can't take this agony,

I don't even know

which one of you

might have gotten me pregnant!"

When Monika came to the office

on Tuesday, 10 November 1970,

she said:

"Well, I'm pregnant.

I told Dr. G. that I'll be out of town

from Wednesday, 11 November 1970 onwards.

I'm going to call a certain Marion

(lives near Ebert Square,

prostitute and married housewife),

she knows someone

who can get rid of it."

Monika was very loving to me on Tuesday,

since she knew that I'd pay,

support her, possibly marry her.

Thursday, 12 Nov. 1970

Abortion, 9:10 a.m. - Period, 3 p.m.

Admission ticket

Grand Carnival Ball

on Saturday, the 14th of November, 1970

at 8 p.m.

On the same day Hans writes:

Monika is demanding

and wants to have her sex every day,

as she told me.

Thus Walter has to screw her

nearly twice a day or more,

when she isn't ill.

Wednesday evening, 11 November 1970,

went home from Stracks approx. 9 p.m.

Monika let me screw her two times,

20 minutes apart.

She knew she was pregnant

so nothing could happen.

Thursday, 12 November 1970

Monika has an appointment 9 a.m. at Marion's.

There, Curt will do the abortion

for 500 Marks.

Near Ebert Square.

It will be Monika's third abortion.

First abortion at 17,

she still lived with her parents in Bavaria.

Second abortion around 19,

in the sixth month.

Serious complications.

Delivery of a child in March 1967.

Child died in hospital after five days.

Third abortion 12 November 1970,

approx. 9:10 a.m. at Marion's.

Monika came in a taxi around 10 o'clock.

I immediately took a picture of her

in the doorway.

Monika: "Are you crazy,

don't you ever think of anything else?"

Condition: Hot/cold, some stomach pain.

Went upstairs approx. 11 a.m.

What stage of a person's life

do you think is the best:

childhood,

youth,

the 20s and 30s,

middle age

or old age?

If you were to be born again,

would you rather be a man or a woman?

Do you sometimes feel lonely?

Is it a familiar feeling for you,

that life often seems so senseless?

Did you enjoy this year's Carnival season,

or have you never much liked Carnival?

Assuming that Monika

occasionally plays the lottery,

she will, with a 50% probability,

always choose the same numbers.

With a 46% probability

she will spontaneously choose numbers,

and with a 38% probability

she will choose birthdays,

anniversaries, and similar numbers.

The probability is high

that Monika will say of herself

that in her life up to now

she has, more or less, been lucky.

Especially with regard to her education,

her job and professional success,

as well as her health.

For 44% of all West German women

asked in March of 1970,

success in life

depends as much on luck as on ability.

40% of the women believe

that ability alone determines success.

Thursday, 26 November 1970

Today Monika was ready to fuck.

We went upstairs at 5 p.m.

and at 5:30 we were screwing in bed.

I was worried

I couldn't get it up.

But it worked and ...

.. once again Monika made me

ejaculate very quickly.

I screamed loudly:

"Monika, Monika."

Afterwards we got out of bed

and at 5:45 Monika said:

"Please give me some cotton,

I think I've got my period."

Menstrual bleeding.

Lasted until we parted at 8:15.

So she hasn't taken the pill

since the abortion!

If it is her period,

she'll resume taking pill

on Monday, 30 November 1970.

Today it was very nice

and harmonious with Monika.

On the next day, Monika and Hans

tell Monika's husband Walter

that they plan to visit Hans' mother

at the rest home next Sunday.

A pretense.

They actually spend the entire day

upstairs at Hans's.

After an argument in bed

about Hans' selfishness during sex:

sleep, coffee and cake,

TV and a phone call to Berleburg,

where Monika and her husband,

together with Hans and a date,

plan to spend the Christmas holidays.

The above-mentioned Gabriele Brücker

accepts the invitation,

but then changes her mind,

apparently that same evening.

Document No. D 063

Thursday, 3 December 1970

7pm, met (among others):

Miss Ute Schneider,

Cologne-Ehrenfeld, Ehrenfeld St.

(new building next to post office),

near Groß's Restaurant.

Turned 21 in November 1970,

tall, thin, very good looking.

White boots, fashionable green dress,

black hair.

Took her home at 7:30pm,

picked up Monika to take her to Stracks.

On the way to Stracks

Monika asked if I'd met the 21-year-old.

I confirmed and said

I would be bringing her

on the Christmas holidays,

since she had accepted.

Monika immediately said,

even though she had not seen her,

"you've caught fire for her,

don't bring her along, Hans,

as a favor to me, not her!"

I remained adamant,

and Monika opened the passenger door

on Subbelrather Street,

corner of Inner Canal Street,

and jumped out.

Although I turned right

onto Subbelrather Street

and requested Monika

to get back into the car,

she refused and continued on foot to Stracks,

carrying packages from the dry-cleaners

and an umbrella.

I turned the car

and immediately drove to Ute Schneider's,

Cologne-Ehrenfeld, Ehrenfeld Street

(second floor left, first door).

When Hans arrives with Ute at Stracks,

Monika is not yet there.

They sit down at one of the tables

and order a plate of mussels.

When Monika arrives,

she ignores them.

Shortly thereafter

the owner calls Hans to the bar.

Monika tells Hans

that she left her umbrella in his car,

asks him to walk with her to the car.

Hans writes:

In the car she implored me

to dump the girl immediately,

not to take her along

for the holidays.

Monika was beside herself,

since this girl was superior to her

in terms of age, height, and beauty,

exceptionally tastefully dressed

and had an educated appearance.

I remained adamant and said to Monika:

"You've always wanted me to find someone new,

especially for the Christmas holidays.

That after Christmas the fucking is over

and that you can't handle two relationships!

Besides, you've been more reserved

with me recently,

and your interpretation was

that I have to slowly wean myself from you."

Monika said:

"Let her go, I'll do anything for you."

I told Monika

that I couldn't leave the girl sitting alone,

she could stay in the car,

I was going in.

We (Ute and I)

only ate half the mussels.

Meanwhile, Monika played songs on the jukebox

like "You" and "Don't Pass Me By"

and other of my favorites.

It drove me crazy!

Hans takes Ute upstairs.

He shows her an album of nude photos,

they drink cognac.

Hans kisses her and rubs her thighs.

The doorbell rings

and a man named Decker,

evidently an employee in Hans' office

on the night shift,

informs Hans that Monika is on the telephone.

Hans tells him to say he isn't there.

He writes:

Later that same night

Monika threw a fit with her husband and said:

"I'm getting a divorce!"

Which of the following have you done

in the last three months?

Dressed differently?

Visited a new area?

Found a new friend?

Made a new acquaintance?

Had good luck?

Had particularly bad luck?

When you think about the future –

do you think that people's lives

are becoming easier or more difficult?

Do you think that our children

will have a better and happier life

than we do?

Do you believe in progress –

I mean, that humanity is striding

toward an ever better future,

or don't you think so?

Hans writes that Monika was

"in a good mood, tender, cuddly"

on St. Nicholas Day.

Visited his mother together at the rest home,

afterwards "upstairs",

2x sex,

several photos.

Hans writes:

All in all:

Monika was very, very kind and loving

and flexible, cuddly.

She was just as I wish a woman in love to be.

We rested in bed,

her head on my chest.

I sucked her breasts, kissed them.

It was absolutely wonderful.

Afterwards they just miss Walter in Stracks,

and on the next day Monika forbids Hans

to call her at home in the future.

Hans wonders if Walter has gotten suspicious.

Same day:

dinner together at Prince Eugen

and the first pill after the abortion.

Tuesday, 8th,

Thursday, 10th,

Sunday 13th,

and Tuesday 15th December,

Monika and Hans meet "upstairs,"

eat and sleep together,

Stracks has its savings club pay-out party,

and Monika invites Hans to dinner.

The fuse blows once upstairs,

and Hans meets a woman called Sigrid Neumann.

On the day before his last diary entry,

Hans makes a hand-written list

of dates in 1970.

First entry, 9 January:

"Colored hair."

Birthdays of aunts and uncles follow.

On 29 January:

"1st day tablets."

Same entry on 26 February.

In March doctor's appointments are noted,

as well as surgery

and release from the hospital on 16 April.

Otherwise listed are

the birthdays of Hans' mother,

grandmother, father and grandfather.

In between are other birthdays and namedays.

Several dates in this year have no entry,

but are marked with an X:

Saturday, 24 January.

Saturday, 21 February.

No dates for March.

Wednesday, 22 April.

Tuesday, 19 May.

Friday, 19 June.

Thursday, 16 July.

Wednesday, 12 August.

Wednesday, 9 September.

No dates for October.

After the last X on Wednesday, 4 November,

in parentheses: