Sysmäläinen (1938) - full transcript

A period comedy set in 1622-1637. The male protagonist, the man from Sysmä, is the fool who always fails to recognize the female protagonist in her many disguises, dressing as a man, and then as a man dressing as woman.



- Arvid, you mustn't! They're mine!
- I don't care.

You are very brutal, Arvid.
I'm not sure I want to marry you.

What, marry?
What nonsense is this?

It's not nonsense.

My father said
that you and I are getting married.

How come your father said that?

- He did. I know everything.
- Tell me, then.

We are getting married.
Don't you understand?


I understand everything.

You see, our fathers
are such good friends.

And they want us to be good friends,
too, and get married.

Don't you want to get married?

- I'd rather not.
- Why not? It would be fun!

My father said than it's so much fun
once you get used to it.

- Yeah, but I won't get married!
- You will, and I'll be very happy.

Father said a man from Sysmä
makes a woman happy,

because stupid men
always make women happy.

- Your father knows nothing!
- My father knows everything!

Don't you believe me?
Let's go and ask him. Are you afraid?

- I'm not afraid.
- Come on, then.

Father, father!

Father, Arvid won't believe
that we're getting married.

Is that so?

Tell your son, Henrik. I already
mentioned the marriage to Brita,

and I suppose
the groom should know as well.

Indeed, he has to be told.

Listen, Arvid.
We have decided certain matters,

and now I want to tell you about them.

You are still too young
to get a wife for yourself,

and I suspect that you'll never
be able to find a decent one.

So Henrik and I have decided
to help you with it.

Before we return to Sysmä,

you'll be lawfully married
to this chaste maiden.

You see?
You will be my lawful husband.

No, I won't! Never!

Oh my.
You have a big-headed son.

- I don't want to get married!
- You are so childish.

Don't talk to your father like that!
On the happiest day of your life!

Try to remember
the fourth commandment!

What is the fourth commandment?
Say it!

Honour thy...

...father and thy mother.

O Father Almighty, Eternal God,

who created man and wife that
they shall become one flesh and blood

and shall grow together
after thy blessing

and multiply and replenish the earth.

I pray thee
to grant thy servants mercy,

so that they may come together
after thy holy will and ordinance.

So than it would be a praise
and blessing for thee,

and for them,
a reward and eternal salvation.

Through thy beloved son,
our Lord Jesus Christ,


Well, children.
Give each other a smack.


Catch the thief!

Halt! Halt! Catch him!

Here you are, sir.

Please save me, sir,
for heaven's sake!

I'm begging you, please save me!

Who are you, sir?

Where did he go?

- There's the scoundrel!
- Hand him to us!

Arvid Tandefelt will not take orders
from German peddlers.

- Come and get him, if you so wish.
- We'll slash you to pieces, Finn!

That's a lie! This is not the first time
this sword will chop up a German!

- You ragamuffin!
- I was Stälhandske's dragoon!

Watch out or I'll make rags
out of your fancy coat! Like this!


Er ist ja ganz verrückt!

- Did you get enough?
- You can go, and take him with you.

If that's the case,
let's all live in peace.

Than was incredible!

I took quite a fancy to you, sir.
It tickled so nicely in here...

Tell me,
why did you defend that man?

I always defend the underdog.

- Do you know what he did?
- I don't care, I just defend.

- Just anybody?
- Anybody who speaks Finnish.

- Even a thief?
- I wasn't talking about thieves.

The man you defended is a thief.

- Is it true?
- Yes, it is.

- Hey, scrag. What did you do?
- Me? Absolutely nothing.

- I was just admiring their goods.
- Admiring, eh?

- You wouldn't have paid a penny.
- I would have, if I'd had any money.

- So that's the kind of animal you are.
- I'm an honest person.

I never steal,
except when I get an opportunity.

- Who exactly are you?
- You mean me?

Actually, I'm a barber.
But mainly I'm a painter.

Primarily I'm a doctor and a cupper.

My occupation is a clerk,
but my post is a military doctor.

But then you're the man we need!
Go and bandage those Germans.

- Sure, but I want payment.
- What?

You made the wounds,
I'm not binding them up for free.

I can crush you like a bug.

I know, but then
I couldn't bind up any wounds.

Do you think you're a great lord
whom we must bow to?

One bows to
the person who's needed.

You're so arrogant that...

- Go now, we'll discuss the payment later.
- No way, I have to know it now.

There are so many of them
that I can give a discount!

- Very well. I will pay for my own doings.
- Now you're talking.

- And you won't beat me up later?
- No, as long as you do your job well.

I don't do much,
but when I do, I do it well.

If you do everything that well,
you're the ablest man in the world.

Exactly, that is my misfortune.
I can do everything.

- Take me to your service!
- What would I do with you?

All sorts of things. I could bind up
your wounds and bury your enemies.

I could write your love letters
when you are lovesick.

- No thanks.
- Beer, quickly!

Beer indeed!
Hey, wench, beer for everyone!

- I'll pay, for I have done you wrong.
- No, no. I started the whole affair.

And since I just made some money,
I'll use them all to buy you beer!

- Wunderschön!
- Let's go inside.

Luckily one is never drunk and hungover
an the same time! Cheers!

Cheers, master.

Master? Are you forcing your way
into my service? Never.

I'll do it for free,
bsolutely free.

If you have such a damned urge
to work for me...

Very well, then.

But remember that I'll beat you up
for every shenanigan.

I'd never betray you.
You won't regret this!

I'll be a servant like no other!
Cheers, master!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

And so my fiancée and I
got married at her home in Vihti.

What happened after the wedding?

My father and I went back to Sysmä,
and my wife stayed in Vihti.

I haven't seen her since.

When my father-in-law went to war,
he took me with him.

- That was fifteen years ago.
- Do you miss her?

Miss her? That's crazy.

- I'd like to get a divorce.
- Divorce, why?

My marriage is my misfortune.

Brita Ekestubbe is my wife in name only.

At war, I hardly remembered
I was married.

It didn't matter to me then.

- But now...
- You've found someone else.

- How on earth did you know?
- Even a fool can see it.

I saw a woman here in Turku.
She made my blood sing!

I have decided to have her
even through fire and water!


She has two eyes,
and beautiful eyes an that.

And then she has lips, little lips.

Sometimes they are parted,
and sometimes not.

Her hair is curled up by the ears
like a pig's tail.

Her body is bendy like a willow.

And when she walks,
her feet rise up as if she had wings.

If you don't recognise her now,
you are the stupidest man in the world.

- Is that what you think?
- Of course. I described her so well.

Hey! Stop!

Miss, I have to talk to you.

Stop racing away!

- What do you want?
- Listen, miss.

Would you like to sit down somewhere?

- Sit where?
- Behind a bush, for example.

- I'm not going in a bush with you!
- No need to get angry.

I'll try to speak standing up, then.

- I have nothing to say to you, rude man.
- But I do!

You see, I have to speak bluntly.

Hey you!

- Watch out!
- I'm in a hurry!

So this is how you treat men.

Be careful or I'll bend you over my knee
like your mother used to do.

- So this is how it is.
- What do you want?

To propose!
I want to marry you.

- Won't you have me?
- No, thank you.

- Why not?
- It's none of your business.

Yes, it is,
because I proposed to you.

- It is exactly my business.
- Please leave me alone.

I don't even know who you are.

Stop blabbering and answer the question.
Will you have me?

No. Do you hear me?

It's still not final. Women often refuse
but then agree in the end.

- But I won't.
- Don't play games, girl.

- I'm completely serious.
- So am I!

I will have you sooner or later!

Wham are you gawping at?
Quickly, give me a horse!

Now I have a horse, too,
and we can finish our discussion.

I'll ask you once again.
Maybe you didn't understand me an first.

Answer me, at least. I'm a man,
and I can propose any time I like.

Don't be mad, I am what I am.

You see, I had no other way.

I had no time to plan,
I just wanted to propose.

It's all about the man,
not about the words.

Or what do you think?
Am I right?

You womenfolk are strange.
What one likes, the other despises.

I won't touch you, then.

- Tell me at last, what do you think?
- I don't like strangers.

Oh, you don't know my name.

I'm Arvid, son of Henrik.
The King named me Tandefelt.

I have a big house in Sysmä.
My father was a judge.

- Aha! We found the horse thief!
- We got you!

Stop yapping.
Your horse is here, safe and sound.

Why did you take
a horse without leave?

- Everything is allowed in war.
- What war?

If proposing is not war,
then I know nothing.

Or what do you...


My girl is gone.

Do you understand
what you did, jackasses?

What tomfoolery is this?
One cannot even propose in peace!

It is unheard of
to interrupt a young man's wooing!

I'll kill every one of you!

You bloody bastards from Turku!

Who told you to interfere with my love?

I will slay you all!

Saddle the horses and get ready.
We'll leave this cursed place.


- To Sysmä.
- What's the rush?

The girl I told you about was here.

- And of course I proposed to her.
- Did she refuse?

Not at all. We were just about
to sort things out

when the townsfolk interfered.

And then she disappeared.
How will I find her again?

There are other girls.
We'll find you a new one.

That's right, a new one!

But I'll only do it so that
I always have someone to scold.

From now on,
I will speak kindly to no woman,

as surely as my name is
Arvid, son of Henrik.

Hey, master, wait a minute!

Maybe there's no need
to look very far...

She's no beauty,
but she'll do for what you have in mind.

- Listen, woman. What's your name?
- It's Johanna.

I'll call you Hankku.

That sounds nice, too.

Listen, Hankku.
Will you come to Sysmä with me?

- I will pay you, of course.
- What's the meaning of this, sir?

- Stop blabbering and answer me.
- I don't know what to say.

If your intentions are serious, sir,
then why not!

- Quickly, then. I'm in a hurry.
- Hurry, you say?

- You seem rather fierce, sir!
- Stay away from me.

I only want you to come
so I can scold you.

I know what you mean, sir.

- You men are so funny.
- Soon you'll feel my funny side!

- Quickly, go pack your things!
- You're almost too fierce, sir!

I'll ride to Sysmä.

You'll go to Vihti
and pay a visit to my wife.

Tell her that I love another.

I'm an honest man,
I don't want to betray her.

Tell her that I hope she'll get
a good husband. Better than...

Oh well, you figure out the rest.
Do you understand?

I understand all right.
Have a nice journey!

See you in Sysmä!

- What are you grinning at?
- I'm smiling!

- I see.
- Yes.

Because I'm so very glad.

Glad than we can
finally be alone together.

- Good day, woman. Is this Olkkala?
- Good day. Yes, it is.

- Is miss at home?
- You mean madam.

Yes, she's at home,
but I don't know where. Brita!



Bri... Ah, there she is.

Good day, madam.
I have something to tell you.

Good day. What is it?

Could we go somewhere private?
This is a delicate matter.

Delicate? What can it possibly be?

- Your husband sent me here.
- Follow me.

You do know that
we are not together anymore.

What does he want from me?

A divorce. You see,
he has someone else in mind.

- Someone else?
- Yes.

He fell madly in love
with a girl in Turku.

I see. And he sent you
to make a clean break with me.

As clean as possible.
He wants to marry the other girl.

- And who is she?
- I don't know.

Master doesn't know either.
He just fell in love.

- It was me.
- What did you say?

I was the one he chased after in Turku
and whom he loves.

You mean you?
And him? And you two?

Hold on, I'm trying to catch my senses.

I have guessed many things,
but this I wouldn't have guessed.

- It's true.
- But then everything is all right.

Come to Sysmä and tell him everything.
That would clear everything up!

That's right.
It would clear everything up.

There it is, the Rapala farm.

Come on, sir.

Wait for me here.
I'd like to meet my husband alone.

- Who is it?
- It's me, Brita Ekestubbe.

- Didn't my servant...
- Yes, but I wanted to hear you say it.

I see.

- Come on in, then.
- Look, darling, what I've got...

- I picked these myself. Open up!
- Shoo.

Arvid, is this a way to treat a woman?

But to be honest, I quite like it.

If it starts with scolding,
it ends with love.

Don't you understand, woman,
that I have a visitor!


Oh, honey,
you sure know how to trick me.

Believe me, she's not a woman.
She wears a skirt but that's all.

I believe what I see.
He's a worthless scoundrel!

No, he's not.
Let's go back and you'll see!

Dress up as a boy,
so no-one will recognise you.

My master is not bright enough
to recognise you in boy's clothes.

I need to know. I'll do it!

Is it Hankku who's sobbing here?
What happened?

Nothing needs to happen,
he kicks and hits me anyway.

That's why you're here,
and you get paid for it.

All the money and jewels in the world
are not enough for this.

Tell me what really happened.

I can't, now that there's
this gentleman with you.

It's okay. The lad isn't old enough
to understand what grown-ups do.

Well, I've been treated very cruelly.

First he scolded me as usual.
That was nothing.

But when l smiled at him,
he didn't talk to me the whole day!

- Why don't you leave?
- Because I love him.

And since I'm the only woman here,
he'll have me eventually.

Get out of my sight, woman!

- My wife followed you here.
- That's right.

- Why did she leave so suddenly?
- I don't know.

- Maybe she got scared of Hankku.
- That's exactly what I thought.

- Good day, sir.
- Who is that?

He followed me, too.
He'd like to work for you.

Aren't you something. First you
force your way into my service,

and then you even drag others along!

- It's just that he's such a happy person
- Happy, you say?

Come closer, boy,
so I can take a look an you.

Do you treat men like cattle?

Do you think I'll hire just anybody?
Stand still.

You look like a child.

Not even a trace of a beard.

And your body, well...
Your waist is rather slender.

And should I say...

You look very feminine.

- No-one offends me!
- So you're a wild foal!

Am I feminine now?

Put down than sword, you wretched brat.

Tell me first, am l a man?

Watch out or I'll grab your leg.

- Well, you know it yourself.
- Say it better! Am I a man?

Yes, you are, on behalf of all men.
And quite the devil at that.

Okay, then.
As long as you know I'm a man.

And don't give me trouble anymore.

You are not very strong,
but you are nimble.

- I just didn't know what kind of a boy...
- Boy?

Man! What kind of a man
I was up against.

I wasn't prepared.

Now than you've been beaten,
you have time to find it out.

You're a bit too cocky!

I can show you something!

How does it feel to lie there?
What do you think now?

Do you admit than I beat you?
Am I a real man?

- Do you admit it?
- Yes, I admit it.

Put that weapon away.
You're a real devil!

Very well, then.
But try to stay calm, weakling.

Let's shake on it, lad.
We'll never be parted again.

What a team we are!
Two strong ones and a clever one!

Let's have a drink! You get the drinks,
and you take care of your horse.

And I'll get my lame father's
silver tankards!

And then we drink
until the world starts to spin!

What should I do now?

Can I give you sensible advice?

- Take your horse and leave.
- I'm not going to leave now.

First I want than woman out of here,
and then I want to examine my husband,

- to see if he's worth staying.
- But he'll recognise you!

I'll stay as a man.
Find me some shears.


Are you really going to...
Such a shame.

Cheers, lads!

Despite all the chaos,
this world is a wonderful invention!

I feel like giving God a big kiss
on both cheeks and saying:

"This was the wisest thing
you ever did! Cheers!"

- Cheers, lads!
- Cheers!

Aatu is quite a character!
So scrawny but very strong.

Let me have a closer look.

But you...
You look just like my girl.

A spitting image!

- But you are a man?
- Who do you think I am?

I don't know her name.

But she's the one I love,
so much that I go all square-shaped!

- Aatu knows about love.
- Let me tell you about her.

She was so beautiful

that if I saw her now,
I wouldn't dare say a word.

- I'd just look at her.
- Who knows what she's like.

Sure, women are sweet an first,

- but all the evil crones come from girls.
- Don't speak without thinking!

Do you think God created
a special woman for you?

I'm special, too!
I know that.

Women and men
are created in pairs,

so there must be
someone special for me.

Oh, bloody hell, how wonderful life is!

I'd like to see my whole life
in front of me, right there!

I'd lift it up in the air, like this!

One day,
my girl will come to me, and then...

Oh, um...

I'm sure there's a reason
for you being here!

Drink! We only live once!

So let's live in such away

that people will talk about it
on the other side of the world!

Why are you sleeping here, lad?
There's a bed inside.

You can sleep with me tonight.

- Come on!
- I'm coming!

Sleep next to the wall, or I'll
kick you on the floor in my sleep.

Aren't you going to undress?

No, I'm too tired.

Aren't you curious?

I wonder why the bird
doesn't sing in the air?

Some skylarks do.

At home there was a skylark
that sang in a fantastic voice.

First it sang on top of a tree
and then it rose high up in the air.

But then it descended in silence.

And I thought that people are the same.

Some people sing when they're happy,
some fly singing towards happiness.

I've always wanted someone
to keep a tight rein on me.

I'm not the dumbest man in the world.
I just need to be kept in my place.

Listen, Aatu. Now that you're here,
could you accept that duty?

If I refuse to do as you say,
just give me a scolding.

- Then I'll obey.
- Let's try it right away.

Go and drive Hankku out of the house.

If that's all, I'm happy to obey.

Should I drag her by the hair?

- Or make her sit on a horse backwards?
- Escort her out respectfully.

Good morning.

- Good morning.
- Listen...

I hope you are
no longer cross with me.

I have something to say
to miss Johanna.

- Then say it.
- I have been pondering...

Pondering and realising that
your stay here has been such...

...that I have nothing against it,
if it comes to an end.

- To an end?
- A total end, in one way or another!

I want to announce this to you
as politely as I can.

You could have spoken
the way you always do.

I am talking like this now!

Johanna has to leave this house
as swiftly as possible!

- I'm in no hurry.
- But I don't need you anymore!

- Still, I won't go. I'm in love!
- In love!

Yes. With that young man
who arrived yesterday.

I don't care who you love,
but you need to go away!

I have decided to stay
until there's a lady in the house.

I'm not dragging my wife here
just for you!

I have spoken, and that is that!

I've promised to be polite,

but if you won't go,
I'll stop being polite!

But I have to stay together
with my heart's mystery.

I'd like to remove from him
everything ugly and bad,

for the father of my son
can't be anything but a hero!

Get out of here, miss!

- Well, is she gone?
- I tried everything.

She won't leave
until the lady of the house arrives.

- That's easy to arrange!
- How on earth?

- We'll dress the lad as a woman.
- Stop talking gibberish.

- I guarantee she'll believe it.
- Will you do it?

Yes, if you really
want to get rid of her.

- I've been wanting that all along!
- Then I'll do it.

- But how do we get a dress?
- I'll take care of that.

You see, I'm also a tailor.

I'll ride to the Lepistö junction
and you can meet me there.

- No-one will suspect a thing!
- That's right, we'll fool everyone!

I'll let everyone know
that the lady arrives this afternoon.

This will be fun!

Who knows, this sure might be fun.

Pretend that you're sewing my dress.

I'll go and see what Arvid is doing.

What is it?

I'd really like to talk to you.

Aren't you afraid Arvid might hit you
if he sees us?

He won't.

And I wouldn't mind anyway,
when I've talked to the apple of my eye.

Apple of your eye? Where?

Well, he's just a young, slender boy.

If you mean me, you're wrong.

Who knows,
a man can never be sure of himself.

But I'm sure. Therefore it's best
that you go back home.

I'm not leaving this house
until the lady arrives.

- I already told that to master.
- In that case, you can leave tonight.

The lady will arrive this afternoon.

- How do you know?
- I'm her brother.

Her brother?

- Does master know?
- Not yet.

I came here to see
how my sister would be greeted.

My sister and I look exactly alike.

Well, how does your wife look?

What's the matter?
Don't you like your wife?

In the name of heaven and hell
and all the forces of nature...

- Who are you?
- You know that.

Listen, boy. If you keep this up,
you'll get burned an the stake!

Dear sir, beloved husband.

I'm truly happy, as your lawful wife,
to follow you to our future home.

Give me your arm, dear sir.

Let's go already.

Welcome, welcome!

Welcome, welcome.

- How marvelous!
- Such a darling.

- She's so young.
- Looks just like her brother.

Good day, madam.
Congratulations and welcome.

We heard that you were coming,
so we came to congratulate you.

Good day and welcome.
I am the merchant's wife.

We must shake hands as well.
I'm Erik Stjernhök, your neighbour.

- Welcome.
- I'm Axel Ringius, also your neighbour.

I just returned from war
and came here to recover. Welcome.

Your wife is so charming, Arvid.

Isn't she?
I'd never have thought that Arvid...

Why are we keeping the lady outside?

She needs to see
where she's going to live.

Come, dear husband.
Show me our house.

- Kiss me, it's a tradition.
- No way...

Quickly or they'll suspect something!

Hey, where's the young man?

- What man?
- The pretty one who was here earlier.

Oh, him. He went to Turku.

Oh. Then I'll go to Turku as well!

In a week's time,
you're all invited here for a feast.

Listen, you're going too far.

In Sysmä, it's the womenfolk
who decide about the feasts.

You misunderstood my husband.

He's waited for so long
that he wants me all for himself.

I see. But we will not let Arvid
rob us of the company

- of the only true lady here in Sysmä.
- That's right.

We'll visit you often from now on.
That's a fact, Arvid.

Oh, gentlemen.
You're always welcome here.

Even though my husband
is so very jealous.

He huffs and puffs
when a man comes close.

I'm almost melting!
Charmant! Quelle beauté!

Get out of my house! Each and every one!

This has to end. Don't you see
that she's not a woman?

You are being deceived!

My God. If this goes on any longer,

I'll have to search the remnants
of my mind at the muckhill.

Don't be afraid of my husband,
it'll blow over.

- You're welcome in a week's time!
- Thank you, we'll be here.

Well, are you happy
for creating such a chaos?

I don't know what came over me.

But when I saw you in that dress,
looking just like my girl...

I couldn't help myself.

How could she ever
love someone like me?

Tell me, lad. If you were a woman,
could you love me?

- I mean a real woman.
- If I were a woman,

you'd be
the best husband in the world.

I'd want to serve you
till the end of my days.

But first, I'd like to change you a bit.
Not much, just a bit.

Now you'd jeopardise
our happiness every day.

You wouldn't be able to
nurture it properly.

- Maybe you're right.
- You saw how you acted just now.

Yes, it was inappropriate.

Tomorrow I'll explain it to everyone,
and they'll all laugh about it.

- Let's laugh at them, first.
- What do you mean?

I'll spend the week as a woman
and reveal myself at the feast.

- That would be much more fun.
- Oh, you.

If everyone were like you,
what would the world be like?

I don't know, but the world
is created for cheerful people!

There they prance.

- Go and tell Arvid.
- Why do you keep up this charade?

Your husband is so in love with you
than his eyes almost fall out.

- He doesn't love me, he loves than girl.
- It's the same thing.

No, it's not. I'll keep this up
until he falls in love with me.

I understand.
It was the same when I was young.

Madam told me to inform you that
you're about to have guests.


The retired army officers
Erik Stjernhök and Axel Ringius.

- What the heck brought them here?
- I have a strong feeling it's the lady.

Oh my. It seems that all reason
has abandoned Sysmä.

Hello. How's the village?

Everything is fine, thank you.

- Is madam at home?
- Yes, she is. Bustling about indoors.

Bustling about. I see. Okay.

Go on inside, then!

Okay, I see. Thank you.

Thank you.

Come in.

May I?

Welcome! How lovely
that gentlemen came to see me.

The pleasure is all ours, madam.

May I?

- May I?
- May I?

- Thank you. I love flowers.
- That's what I thought.

- Madam is like a flower herself.
- Sit down, please.

There you go, Mr. Stjernhök.
Mr. Ringius.

But where will madam sit?

I can sit in the middle.

Oh, I really love flowers.

Charmant, charmant!

- What were we talking about, madam?
- Flowers.

These adorable flowers
that you brought here to my delight.

That's right.
I speak from the heart.

The courtesy of a gallant warrior
always warms a woman's heart.

Hey, Erik.

You haven't told me
about your health yet.

What do you mean?
I'm completely healthy!

- I've never been sick.
- Is that what you say?

And yet you came home from the war
because you were riddled with bullets.

That's a lie!
I did have some wounds,

but I wasn't riddled with bullets.

So it said in the documents
than I had to write in Germany.

- The only undamaged part was your head.
- Be quiet!

- Not in front of women!
- Why not?

It's a merit to a man
that he's got a lot of wounds.

I've always wanted
to take care of a wounded war hero.

Do you really mean what you say?

Oh, madam,
I have plenty of unhealed wounds.


But where are they?

I remember when you left Germany
and weren't able to sit down.

That's where your wounds are.

- That's an insult!
- Don't get angry.

A wound is always an honour,
no matter where it is.

Enough of this topic.

Your husband seems rather jealous.

Maybe he has a good reason.
You're the ones causing it.

If I only dared to think it's true.

It's a sin than such a beautiful woman
is married to someone like Arvid.

He is so crude!

And we all know
the state his mind is in.

Maybe you're right.
I've often thought about it myself.

I've grown so sad.
Maybe you're right.

Oh, my darling Brita.

Darling, Brita. May I?

Where are you off to?

Arvid, don't bring her to account.

We're willing to compensate
for everything that's happened.

We're willing to fig... Ouch.

We're willing to fight if you want.

I don't want anything.

Don't you understand, dear fellow,
what this is all about?

- You're here to woo my wife.
- Yes.

- And you say nothing.
- What can I do?

- If she allows it...
- Listen, Arvid.

Let me ask you as your senior
and your father's friend:

- Are you insane?
- Stop that!

Woo as much as you like!

I have nothing against it.
I can even give you advice.

First I want him
to like me as a person.

I know, but this is cruel
towards the poor man.

Hey, you. Come here.

Go inside.
I gave them permission to court you.

They've gone all giddy.

They must be stupid
if they believe you're a woman!

What would you say
if I really were a woman?

Is that person a man or a woman?

- Adolf?
- No other.

- Is he a man or a woman?
- I've always thought he was a man.

- Do you know than for certain?
- It's plain to see.

- What on earth gave you that idea?
- I don't know.

But if she's a woman,
I'll throw those fools out of my house!

- Let her have some fun.
- So she is a woman!

No, a man!

Whatever he or she is,
I want to be alone with him!

I want to speak to this person
in private.

- Get out of here!
- Oh, dear.

Are you a man or a woman?

What's wrong?

I don't know.

You miss the woman you saw in Turku.

I don't know about that, either.

I feel like something
has opened up inside me.

Listen, take off that dress
and be a man again.

I need a man to talk to.

Let's hear it, then.

When I think of my past

and when I think of my future,

I have a big problem.

I've always fancied women.
I haven't chased them but they have me.

And no matter how badly I treated them,
they just got more excited.

But then that woman appeared in Turku.

She was the first who didn't want me.

She drove me away.

Then I realised that
not all women are the same.

I've been waiting for the one
all my life.

- Do you understand me?
- I do. Please go on.

I wanted her to demand something,
to believe in me.

- And what do you want now?
- I'll tell you something serious.

I'm certain that one day
I'll have that girl from Turku.

And when that happens,
she mustn't be ashamed of me.

You can help me!
What do you think?

Let's shake on it.
I'll try to file you smooth.

Exactly, filing is what I need!
File me so that it hurts!

So that the dust fills the air!

Listen to me, rooster.

When I consider the fact
than you control fifteen spouses...

In this house,
one spouse controls the master

and all the gentlemen
in the parish as well.

I salute you.

You really know
how to stand your ground.

All right, then.
No-one dares to defy you.

That's the spirit.
You wouldn't accept such behaviour.

But not everyone is like you.

What if you had to walk differently?

Instead of striding,
you'd have to tiptoe like a hen.

And finally the hen
would even start crowing an sunrise.

You are confused, but hens
have taken over elsewhere, too!

In Sweden, a hen has a reign
over all the roosters.

And I can quietly let you know
that I am one of those fools.

Oh, you don't care to listen.
But that's the truth!

There they go again,
the male hen and the rooster.

I wonder if anyone
is having this much fun.

Every day is like a feast to me.

I've lived more in one day
than normally in a year.

Listen, I had a dream last night.

My late mother came to me and said:
"Come, son, I'll show you something."

She lead me
through many doors into a hall.

There was that girl from Turku.

- Do you think it'll come true?
- Dreams often do.

I miss her terribly.

I can't stop thinking about her.
At night I wake up kissing a pillow.

You're laughing, but it's true.

- But now I want to talk about you.
- No, not about me.

- We have to stop this charade soon.
- Let's do it.

I'm sure you want
to dress as a man again.

- Because a man is always a man!
- Is that what you think?

A man is what a woman makes him.

- Hey, boy...
- The sauna is warm.

Madam and sir could go there now
before the farm workers.

- Yes. Tell Vappu to come and bathe us.
- Yes, sir.

- You can go alone.
- Why?

- You haven't even gone swimming yet.
- I feel dizzy in the water.

- Come on, now.
- Everyone will see that I'm not a woman.

- That's right...
- Let me go first.

All right, then.
I won't take this for much longer...

- Do you promise to wait here?
- Where else would I go?

- Are you in there, madam?
- I don't need your help.

- But you need someone to bathe you.
- No, just go and milk the cows.

Oh, dear. I've always bathed
the lady of the house.

Thank you.
Thank you for bringing her to me.

It's your turn.
The sauna is nice and warm.

- I'm not sure I feel up to it.
- Why not? Where have you been?

I went to see something.

And I'm happy I did.

- What's the matter with you?
- Only a jolly nature and a happy mood.

Hey, let's talk about than girl again.

I'd like to know how I should treat her.

Can I take her on my lap?
Can I kiss her?

Of course. You should.

Like this?

You kiss just as well as a girl.

Lay your head right here
and you'll hear something.

- What is this nonsense?
- Just do it.

Please me just this once.

Well, do you hear anything?

- Now you should hear it!
- So you...

Yes, I know.

- Speak. Say something.
- How could I?

Speak about threshing corn,
about brewing beer, about anything!

- I just want to listen to you.
- The world is full of happy people,

but I, Brita Ekestubbe,
am the happiest of them all.

- Brita Ekestubbe?
- Yes, didn't you know?

I'm your wife.

Well, I'll be...

This sure is enough to confuse a man.

- I've been quite a fool.
- Yes, you have.

But I want this fool
to have me as his own!


Translation: Maarit Tulkki.
Revised for KG by Veikko.