Synecdoche, New York (2008) - full transcript

Theater director Caden Cotard is mounting a new play. Fresh off of a successful production of Death of a Salesman, he has traded in the suburban blue-hairs and regional theater of Schenectady for the cultured audiences and bright footlights of Broadway. Armed with a MacArthur grant and determined to create a piece of brutal realism and honesty, something into which he can put his whole self, he gathers an ensemble cast into a warehouse in Manhattan's theater district. He directs them in a celebration of the mundane, instructing each to live out their constructed lives in a small mock-up of the city outside. As the city inside the warehouse grows, Caden's own life veers wildly off the tracks. The shadow of his ex-wife Adele, a celebrated painter who left him years ago for Germany's art scene, sneers at him from every corner. Somewhere in Berlin, his daughter Olive is growing up under the questionable guidance of Adele's friend, Maria. He's helplessly driving his marriage to actress Claire into the ground. Sammy Barnathan, the actor Caden has hired to play himself within the play, is a bit too perfect for the part, and is making it difficult for Caden to revive his relationship with the alluringly candid Hazel. Meanwhile, his therapist, Madeline Gravis, is better at plugging her best-seller than she is at counselling him. His second daughter, Ariel, is disabled. And a mysterious condition is systematically shutting down each of his autonomic functions, one by one. As the years rapidly pass, Caden buries himself deeper into his masterpiece. Populating the cast and crew with doppelgangers, he steadily blurs the line between the world of the play and that of his own deteriorating reality. As he pushes the limits of his relationships, both personally and professionally, a change in creative direction arrives in Millicent Weems, a celebrated theater actress who may offer Caden the break he needs.

# There's a place

I long to be #

# A certain town

That's dear to me #

# Home to Mohawks

And GE #

# It's called Schenectady #

# I was born there and

I'll die there #

# My first home

I hope to buy there #

# Have a kid or

At least try there #

# Sweet Schenectady #

# And when I'm buried

And I'm dead #

# Upstate worms

Will eat my head #

--7:45 on this beautiful,

almost balmy

22nd of September

in Schenectady.

And it's the first day of fall.

So in honor of that fact,

we have Elke Putzkammer,

professor of literature

at Union College,

to talk about autumn

in poetry and literature.

Good morning, professor.

- Hi, Alex.

So, what about it?

Why do so many people

write about the fall?

Well, I think it's seen as

the beginning of the end,

really.

If the year is a life,

then September,

the beginning of fall,

is when the bloom is off the

rose and things start to die.

It's a melancholy month

and maybe because of that,

quite beautiful.

Is there something

you might read to us?

Oh, I'd love to.

Whoever has no house now

Will never have one.

Whoever is alone

will stay alone

Will sit, read,

write long letters

Through the evening

And wander the boulevards

Up and down, restlessly

While the dry leaves

are blowing.

Goodness, that harsh,

isn't it?

Well, perhaps.

But truthful.

Mommy, done.

Okay.

Good morning.

- Good morning.

I tried not to wake you.

Well, thanks.

You didn't. I just--

You know, I couldn't get up.

Caden, can you get that?

It's Maria, I don't want to.

Caden-- Oh, that's weird.

Hey, it's me. How are you?

Mommy, is something wrong

with my poop?

No, honey, it's just green.

I'll try your cell.

You probably

ate something green.

I didn't. What's wrong with me?

I have to get that, Olive.

You're gonna be fine, okay?

But, Mommy--

Yeah, I'll be right back, Olive.

Oh, nothing.

Just wiping Olive's ass. You?

An earthquake in Kashmir--

Oh, you're kidding.

Holy fuck.

--has killed an estimated

73,000--

I don't feel well.

Oh, my goodness.

--march in Washington, D.C.,

today, October 15th.

Harold Pinter died.

Well, he's old, right?

No, wait.

He won the Nobel Prize.

Mom.

- What, honey?

Do you need

to look at my poop?

You sure it's all right?

- It's fine, Olive. Just flush.

What if it's alive?

What if I kill it?

It's green like plants.

- It's not alive, honey.

Remember the production

of The Dumb Waiter

I did at Albanyfest?

Have your oatmeal, honey.

I want peanut butter and jelly.

- You said oatmeal.

This isn't a restaurant.

I don't want oatmeal.

Okay. Fine.

Mommy, I'm sorry.

- They found avian flu in Turkey.

In the country Turkey,

not turkeys.

Can I watch TV till school?

- In some chickens. Yeah.

There is a secret something

at play under the surface,

growing like an invisible virus

of thought.

But you're being changed

by it--

Milk's expired.

- Okay.

Jesus.

You better eat this.

- I will.

Yeah.

How did I guess

you'd ask me that question?

Happy Halloween, Schenectady.

And how long have you

been in New York for?

The first black graduate of

the University of Alabama died.

Vivian Malone Jones.

Stroke, 63.

Fuck!

God! Somebody! Adele, help!

Jesus, Caden, what the fuck?

I was shaving

and the thing flew off!

Oh, my God!

Jesus, look at your head.

Oh, shit.

Oh, God, I can't turn it.

Oh, wait.

Mommy, Daddy has blood.

- Yeah.

Will there be a scar?

Probably.

It looks like a mud flap.

I prefer there not to be a scar.

- Yeah.

That fellow is annoying.

He's in here every week,

like clockwork.

There. I think that should--

- Let's see.

What?

- Change in bowel movements?

It's a little more yellow

than usual. Why?

Yeah, I'd like you to see

an ophthalmologist.

A neurologist?

- What? No.

An ophthalmologist.

I said, ophthalmologist.

Do you hear that?

Yeah.

And today is Tuesday.

Mommy, is today Tuesday?

No, honey, today is Friday.

So, what exactly did he say?

That my pupils weren't properly,

uh, opening and closing.

Dilating.

No.

- Yeah.

I don't think that's what he said.

- Yes.

That's not what he said.

- Is it the bump to your head?

He doesn't know. Maybe.

He said he doesn't think so,

but maybe. But he doesn't know.

But maybe. Who knows?

Okay, Jesus, Caden, I got it.

He doesn't know--

- Sorry. I'm a little anxious.

Did you have to get

a shot, Daddy?

No, honey. It's the start

of something awful.

Do I have to get a shot?

Course not.

Did you tell him

I have green poo?

It's fucked timing.

- Call the plumber-- Hey.

Sorry. I have rehearsal.

- Fuck.

Hey, come on.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Everybody, sorry.

How many years

until I have to get more shots?

Not for a really

long time, babe.

A million years?

Remember what Dr. Woodman said--

- Dad, what's a plumber?

Um, he's a-- He's a man--

- Or a woman, Dad.

Right. He's a man or a woman who

fixes sinks and toilets and...

Do you know what pipes are?

- No.

Hey, Jim. I had an accident.

- Like to smoke out of?

A different kind of pipe, honey.

- All right, bye.

Houses have pipes,

and they're made of...

Um, they're like tubes,

and they're behind the walls,

and they're under the floors

and everywhere.

And, um--

- What's the matter?

Every single where?

- It's okay, honey.

They just carry water

to and from sinks and toilets.

It's like in your body.

You have veins.

Capillaries.

Capillaries filled with blood.

I have blood? I don't want

blood. I don't want blood.

What are you doing?

- Trying to explain plumbing.

Well, stop.

- I can't do this now.

Don't worry,

you don't have blood.

Don't tell her

she doesn't have blood.

Caden, stop it.

- I don't want blood.

Thanks for getting me in

right away.

Was it the bump to the head?

No.

Could be, but I think we need

to get you to a neurologist.

Neurologist?

- It's a brain expert.

I know what a neurologist is.

I thought from the way

you asked--

I just thought you said

"urologist."

Why do I need to see

a neurologist?

Just for a look-see.

The eyes are part of the brain,

after all.

No, that's not true, is it?

Why would I say it

if it weren't true?

It doesn't seem right.

Like morally correct,

or "right" as in accurate?

I don't know.

Accurate, I guess?

Interesting.

Now, when you kick off, boy,

I want a 70-yard boot.

And get right down the field

under the ball.

And when you hit,

hit low and hit hard,

because it's important, boy.

There's all kinds of

important people in the stands.

And the first thing you know--

Ben?

Ben, where do I...?

Ben, how do I...?

Willy, you coming up?

Willy?

Willy, answer me.

Willy! No!

Oh, Jesus, come on.

Oh, crap.

Claire, are you okay?

What's happening here?

It's too late in the game

to have these problems.

I know, Caden. I'm sorry.

We'll get it.

Oh, my God.

- You okay?

Yeah, I think

the-- The wig--

The wig saved my life.

Yeah.

It's okay, honestly.

That was good, Tom.

Yeah?

- Yeah.

I was trying something

different.

I was crashing differently.

Ambivalently.

- Yeah, I saw that. I liked it.

Um.

Try to keep in mind that a young

person playing Willy Loman

thinks he's only

pretending to be

at the end of a life

full of despair.

But the tragedy is that we know

that you, the young actor,

will end up in this very place

of desolation.

Okay.

Uh,

that's great.

Let's try it again.

How long, David?

I-I think 15.

Anything?

Uh. Hm...

So now what?

Hey.

- Hey.

In search of

the elusive signal.

The signal's good here,

oddly.

That-- That is odd.

I know.

Cell phones, they're crazy.

See you in a few.

Yep.

Yeah, Dr. Heshborg said

I should see a Dr. Scoriano.

My pupils don't work.

I think

I have blood in my stool.

That stool in your office?

When I was pregnant with Olive.

What was it like?

I don't know.

Hopeful or something.

Like something

was gonna change.

Yeah, something did. No?

- Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

- I mean, bigtime.

I mean, maybe not as much

as I'd hoped.

I'm sorry.

That's a terrible thing to say.

There are no terrible things

to say in here,

only true and false.

Can I say something awful?

Yes, please do.

I've fantasized about

Caden dying.

Being able to start again,

guilt-free.

I know that's-- That's bad.

Caden, does that feel terrible?

- Yeah.

Okay, good.

It's a nightmare in there.

I'm sorry.

So I'm reading The Trial.

Yeah?

- Yeah.

You like?

- Love.

I'm such an idiot

for not knowing about this book.

It's famous, as it turns out.

- Yeah.

You're not an idiot.

Then you say:

"In fact, Hazel, you're very

bright, and I love your eyes."

In fact, Hazel,

you're very bright.

Oh, am I?

And I love your eyes.

Do you?

Oh, you're a darling.

Then what do I say?

I can't say what then you say.

- Why?

Because it's dirty.

Could you--?

Could you step out for a second?

Go ahead.

I've seen boy parts.

Can I take a piss in your sink?

Yeah, sure. I guess.

We're sold out.

Great.

Gorgeous.

Thanks.

How was rehearsal?

Awful.

We have,

uh, 560 lighting cues.

I don't why

I make it so complicated.

Because that's what you do.

Yeah.

We got through it though.

- That's really pretty.

Caden, I'm sorry, I--

I can't-- I can't come tonight.

I'm sorry.

I have two canvasses I have to

get ready to ship for tomorrow.

I know it sucks--

- It's opening night.

I know. I wish I could come.

I would if I could.

I've gotta get ready.

- You know. Tomorrow--

I have to get ready. I don't

know what I'm gonna wear.

I have to figure out

what I'm gonna wear.

Hey.

Oh, boy, oh boy.

Willy?

It's all right,

I came back.

Oh. I hated myself tonight.

Plus, I'm so-- Excuse me.

- Hey, Tom.

I'm so bloated and enormous.

No, you look good.

You were great.

I was very pleased.

- You okay?

Sorry. A little bit

of a headache.

Willy Loman.

Aw.

I just wanted to say thank you

for everything.

You've been absolutely

brilliant.

It's gonna be miserable

going ahead without you.

I'll be around. I'll check in.

- I'm such a baby.

Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk,

that's what.

Okay. Claire.

Mm. Sweetheart.

Good. Good job.

Oh, don't worry,

I'll get better.

Good work.

- Don't worry, it'll get better.

Hey. I, uh--

I figured I'd better

get in fast.

Hey, you wanna--?

You wanna sit?

Yeah, thank you.

Where's el wife-o?

Had to work.

Uh, her show in Berlin

is in two weeks.

We're gonna go there

for like a month.

Why do I like you so much?

I couldn't begin to guess.

Me neither.

Do you get high, my friend?

You know, sometimes.

Do you want to now?

With me, in my car?

I-I get kind of, uh,

something when I'm stoned.

What does "something" mean?

You know,

bothered.

What does "bothered" mean?

You know.

Bothered. Horny.

Oh.

And me with a station wagon

and all. Could be dangerous.

Yeah, could be.

You're absolutely zero fun.

When are the reviews

gonna get here?

Don't know.

His best friends finger two babies--

One this big, one this big.

--and two kittens.

Hey.

Hi, Caden. How'd it go?

Hi.

- Hi.

It's late.

Maria came over

to keep me company because...

And we just lost track.

I got everything done.

But I'm sorry

I missed-- Missed your play.

I'm sorry.

But, uh, how'd it go?

Great. We're a hit.

Reviews are great.

Times said it was brilliant

casting young people

as Willy and Linda.

That's great, Caden. Good for you.

- Great.

I can't wait to see it tomorrow.

- That's-- Tonight.

That's great.

Wow, it's really late--

- Early.

Early.

It's late.

- Hey, I would love to see it too.

Can we get Maria a ticket?

You're stoned.

I mean, a little.

- It's, you know-- I don't know.

But are you happy with it?

Yeah. Yeah,

I'd love for you to see--

To know what you think.

It doesn't matter what I think.

Absolutely. It's all about

your artistic satisfaction,

Caden.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

I've always loved this house.

Yes, it's a wonderful place.

The truth is, I never really

imagined I could afford it.

Well, the sellers

are very motivated now.

It's a scary decision.

I-- I never thought

I'd buy a house alone.

But, you know, I'm 36,

and I wonder what it is

I'm waiting for.

Home buying is always scary.

And with the fire and all

especially.

Well, it's a good size though,

2200 square feet,

not including

the partially finished basement.

Oh, I don't know.

I'm thinking I should go.

It's a perfect size

for someone alone.

I like it, I-I do.

I'm just really concerned

about dying in the fire.

It's a big decision

how one prefers to die.

Would you like to meet my son?

Derek.

Derek's living in the basement

since his divorce,

if that's okay.

Hey, Mom.

Let's go, Ma.

I want just a minute.

I never...

Forgive me, dear.

I can't cry.

I don't know what it is,

but I can't cry.

It seems to me that

you're just on another trip.

I keep expecting you.

Why did you do it?

I search and I search

and I can't understand it.

I made the last payment

on the house today.

We're free and clear.

We're free. We're free.

Well done.

- Bravo.

Well done.

It was very successful.

I thought it was wonderful.

Why did the older people

look so young?

It was a choice, Dad.

I'll explain later.

I can't get excited

about your restaging

someone else's old play,

it just--

There's nothing personal

in it.

People are coming out

of the theater crying.

Great. Be a fucking tool

of suburban, blue-haired,

regional-theater

subscribers.

You didn't you think it was long?

- No.

But what

are you leaving behind?

You act as if you have forever

to figure it out.

When you're dead,

there's no time. The world is--

I don't know.

I slept maybe three hours.

So we're both tired.

No, I cuddled with Olive

all night. It was great.

Morning. Morning.

Morning, Caden.

I think I might have arthritis.

Friends on fire.

I'm going to.

No, I know exactly. Okay,

I will. I'll call you later.

I know. You're right. Bye.

My joints are stiff.

Who was that?

Maria.

- Right.

Hm.

- Three hours since you spoke.

Caden, I think I wanna go

to Berlin with just Olive.

I think it would be good

for us.

Oh, Christ.

Morning, kiddos.

Why don't you--?

Why don't you want me to go?

You know, I think

it would be a good thing

for the two of us to do alone.

How do you think

I'm supposed to respond

to something like that?

Want me to zip your coat up?

- Yeah.

What's wrong

with your face, Daddy?

Uh, it's pustules.

It's called sycosis.

Spelled differently than

"psychosis,"

but it sounds the same.

I don't know what that means.

Of course not.

Well, there are two kinds

of psychosis.

Ahem.

They're spelled differently.

P-S-Y is like if you're crazy,

like Mama.

S-Y is like these ugly things

on my face.

You could have both, though.

I could, but I don't.

Can I ask you something, Ad?

Have I disappointed you somehow?

I don't know what I'm doing.

We're just spending

a little time apart.

We'll talk when I get back,

okay?

Everyone is disappointing.

The more you know someone,

it just...

This whole

romantic-love thing,

it's just a projection

anyway, right?

I mean, I don't know.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I love you.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know.

We'll talk when I get back.

Okay?

Flurostatin TR

allows you to live life,

when it's your turn to face

the challenges of chemotherapy.

Ask your doctor if Flurostatin

TR is right for you.

--and I'm on the first

train out of Palookaville.

--the Miracle Brush can scour

everything from bottles--

Rise and shine--

Lift those legs--

# There's no real way

Of coping #

# When your parachute

Won't open #

# You're falling down

You're going down #

# You fell

Then you died #

# Maybe someone cried #

# But not your one-time bride #

I'm lonely.

Yes. Anything else?

I'm hurt.

- Yes. And?

I think Adele's right.

I'm not doing anything real--

What would be real?

I'm afraid I'm gonna die.

I don't know

what's wrong with me.

I wanna do something important

while I'm still here.

That would be the time to do it.

I have a book

that might help you get better.

Better?

It's called Getting Better.

Who wrote it?

- I did. All of these.

Wow, I never knew that.

Yes. Well, wow, indeed.

In conclusion-- Cats eat rats--

Within his own plumbing--

Me who am as a raw nerve--

Synthetic vaginal juices--

Substantial crease--

That's $45.

Five. Five.

Five.

Oh. Some fives.

That's not good.

Keep with the flossing.

We'll see you in three months.

Six. Six. Six.

I'm gonna recommend

you see a periodontist.

He'll probably recommend

gum surgery.

Hello?

Hey, I'm so glad

I finally got you.

Hello, who is this?

It's Caden.

Ellen?

It's Caden. I can't wait to see

you and Olive on the 12th--

No, I have to go. I'm sorry,

there's a party. I'm famous.

Have fun--

911, state your emergency.

I'm sick! I'm sick!

- Ma'am?

Mr. Cotard?

Mr. Cotard.

Mr. Cotard.

You've had a seizure of sorts.

- What does that mean?

Seems to be some synaptic

degradation, fungal in origin.

Autonomic functions

are going haywire.

You'll lose your ability

to salivate, cry, et cetera.

Is it serious?

We don't know. But, yes.

We'll get you enrolled

in some biofeedback program.

Maybe you can learn

some sort of manual override.

We should get a drink.

It would be fun.

It would be weird.

I like weird. I like you. See?

Anyway, I don't wanna

make you uncomfortable, I...

Okay, so I do wanna

make you uncomfortable.

# I just don't know

Why someone #

# One person in a sea #

And what do we do

with all this?

You wanna come over

to my place, Cotard?

I won't let you off

the hook this time

by saying, "Never mind."

Adele is only on vacation.

She hasn't called since

she left. It's been a year.

It's been a week.

I'm gonna buy you a calendar.

Okay.

Just for one drink.

Come on. Scraps

for my scrapbook.

I can't, uh-- I really can't

drink very much

because of my condition.

Did you put something in it?

If that's what it takes,

consider it done.

Poof.

Love potion number 69.

It's good.

Does it make you wanna kiss me?

Kind of.

Tell me why.

Because I feel-- I feel

a lot of longing.

Beg a girl, why don't you?

Please, Hazel.

- On your knees.

What?

I want you to beg me

on your knees for a kiss.

Just for fun.

Why am I doing this?

For fun, baby.

Will you help me

forget my troubles?

Oh, kiddo.

You don't even know.

No, no, no.

What?

- I don't know.

What is it?

- I don't know, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What?

- I don't know, I'm just, um...

I'm just really confused.

I'm sorry.

I, um...

I'm sorry.

I'm really, uh--

I'm really sick.

And I think I'm dying.

I have a kid,

and I'm married.

I just thought this might

change things, you know?

I had a good time, and I think

you're a very nice person.

That is just the wrong thing

to say right now, Caden.

You should go.

Hazel. Uh. Leave a message or not.

It's your dime.

Hi. You know, I haven't

heard from you in a while

and I just thought

I'd call and say hi.

Hi, Hazel.

Now. Now. Be here now.

Olive wanted me to ask you

not to read her diary.

She left it under

her pillow by mistake.

Dear Mr. Cotard, it is

my pleasure to inform you

that you have been named

a 2009 MacArthur Fellow.

It is our hope

that you will use

your newly found

financial freedom

to create something

unflinchingly true,

profoundly beautiful

and of unremitting value

to your community

and to the world at large.

So, I got this MacArthur grant.

- Oh, Caden.

Yeah, a lot of money.

- You know what you're gonna do?

Theater piece.

Something big

and true and tough.

I can finally put my real self

into something.

What is your real self,

do you think?

I don't know yet.

The MacArthur is called

"the genius grant"

and I wanna earn it.

That's wonderful. God bless.

I guess you'll have to discover

your real self, right?

Yeah.

I wanted to ask you, how old are

kids when they start to write--?

There's an absolutely brilliant

novel written by a 4-year-old.

Really?

- Little Winky by Horace Azpiazu.

That's cute.

- Oh, hardly.

Little Winky

is a virulent anti-Semite.

The story follows his

initiation into the Klan

his immersion in the

pornographic snuff industry

and his ultimate degradation

at the hands of

a black ex-convict

named Eric Washington

Jackson Jones Johnson

Written by a 4-year-old?

- Jefferson.

Wow.

W-Written by a 4-year-old?

Well, Azpiazu killed

himself when he was 5.

Why did he kill himself?

- I don't know. Why did you?

What?

I said, why would you?

Oh, I don't know.

Yeah, I wanna bring my

production to New York.

Mm-hm.

And to get it seen by people,

you know, who matter.

Well--

The sooner the better.

This theater,

centrally located.

Heart of the theater district,

so, you know, great for plays.

Yeah?

- Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

There it is.

What was this used for?

Plays.

Like, theater plays?

Uh-huh. Shakespeare.

King Lear.

The storm.

You see, the idea is to do

a massive theater piece.

You know uncompromising,

honest. Uh...

Here's what I think theater is.

It's the beginning of thought.

It's, uh, the truth

not yet spoken.

It's what a man feels like after

he's been clocked in the jaw.

It's love in all its messiness.

You know, and I want all of us,

players and patrons alike,

to, uh, soak in

the communal bath of it,

the mikvah, as the Jews call it.

Because we're all in

the same water, after all.

You know, soaking

in our very menstrual blood

and nocturnal emissions.

This is what I wanna try

to give people.

Okay, here you go.

Here's your salad.

Here's your soup.

- Thanks. Ahem.

Thank you.

- Enjoy.

What are you doing?

Salivating.

The biofeedback training.

So I was wondering

if you'd help.

In your box office?

No, as, um, my assistant.

I'm not sure I can work

with you, Caden.

I'm kind of angry.

I just wanna normalize it.

I think we'd have

a lot of fun together.

I miss you.

Really disturbing.

- I know.

Dear diary, thank you

for being my new best friend.

My name is Olive Cotard,

and I'm 4 years old.

I like chocolate,

and my favorite color is pink.

This is pink.

Yeah, that's good.

Next.

- Hi.

We'll start by talking honestly

and out of that,

a piece of theater will evolve.

I'll begin.

I've been thinking a lot

about dying lately.

You're gonna be fine, sweetie.

I appreciate that, Claire--

You are, you poor thing.

Yeah, well, regardless

of how this particular thing

works itself out,

I will be dying.

And so will you.

And so will everyone here.

And that's what I wanna explore.

We're all hurtling

towards death.

Yet here we are,

for the moment, alive,

each of us knowing

we're gonna die,

each of us secretly

believing we won't.

It's brilliant.

It's everything.

It's Karamazov.

Stop.

- I'm just asking.

You're so obnoxious.

- You're so obnoxious.

You do not wanna cross me.

- Don't I?

Hi, Claire.

Hi.

- Hazel.

Yeah. No, no.

- I know, I know. Hazel.

You're the box office.

Yeah, I'm the box office.

How are you?

Wonderful. You?

Yeah, yeah. I'm good.

I'm fine. Thank you.

Actually, I'm meeting

Caden here.

You know Mr. Cotard, right?

Yes, I recall Mr. Cotard.

Yeah. I'm waiting--

Oh.

- Oh.

Hey. Hey.

- Hi, Caden.

Hi, Caden.

Hi, Hazel. Hi, Claire.

Hi.

This is Derek.

Hi, Derek.

- Hi, Derek.

Hi, Derek.

Hi.

Heh.

Oh, well, we'll leave you be.

It's nice to see you again.

Take care.

Why am I bowing? Okay, bye.

That was awkward.

Yeah, I guess so.

Do you like beaver--?

So could you tell me

maybe what it is

that you want from me?

Hm?

You know, like,

from my character.

Oh. Uh...

Well, we'll build it

over time together.

You know, try to find

a real person, maybe,

to model it after.

That Hazel girl's

kind of interesting maybe.

You know, like, why--?

- Although--

Why is she still working

at a box office at her age--?

I don't know. Probably not

that interesting.

Maybe she wanted

to be an actress

but she lacked

the confidence.

Yeah, we'll talk about it.

- I'm so excited.

Really? Why?

Because I think that it's brave.

And I just feel like I'm gonna

be part of a revolution.

I keep thinking about Artaud,

Krapp's Last Tape,

you know, and Grotowski,

for chrissake.

I don't know what I'm doing.

But that's what so refreshing.

Knowing that you don't know

is the first and the most

essential step

to knowing, you know?

I don't know.

Well, I'm proud of you.

Thanks.

Don't say that, not to me.

- Sorry.

My mother died last night.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

- What are you doing out?

Well, I-I... This is me.

Well, um...

Well, it was nice meeting you.

Oh, God, did I

just say "meeting"?

I'm sorry. I'm so stupid.

Slip of the tongue, is all.

Yeah, it's a Freudian slip,

right?

I don't know how it's Freudian.

To meet, you know?

Like, to meet.

Oh.

There she met Ralph Keene.

They fell in love, married,

and soon their first child,

Claire, was born.

I used to be a baby.

Claire Elizabeth Keene

was a joyous child...

I'm sorry.

- ...the apple of her mother's eye.

She made her parents proud

with her politeness

and gymnastic skills.

God, you're beautiful.

When she was 7, little Claire

was bitten by the acting bug.

She starred in almost

every school musical

playing Ado Annie in Oklahoma

Adelaide in Guys And Dolls,

and Maria in

The Sound Of Music.

I have to fuck you.

I have to.

There will be

no other before you.

I'd like to buy a ticket, please.

- Oh.

Okay. Hold it. Ahem.

- That'll be $40.

We're not really--

We need to investigate.

You know, to really discover

the essence of each being.

Uh...

You know, I think I need to work

with both of you separately.

Davis, I'll start with you.

I liked the beginning.

- I don't wanna see a good scene--

"Davis, I'll start with you"?

There's a difference

between favoring me

and pretending we've never met.

We've had Ariel. I think people

know that we've fucked.

We'll talk about your character

after we put Ariel to bed, okay?

Okay.

I think I made a breakthrough.

This character

is so beautiful--

Yeah, I have to go

find my daughter.

Your daughter's right here.

- My real daughter.

Excuse me?

I mean, my first

daughter, Olive.

I have to go find her.

Please don't do this to us!

She's tattooed.

She's tattooed.

Oh, everyone is tattooed.

Oh, I've never seen that before.

You have responsibilities.

Yeah, I'll be quick.

I'll do it quick.

Redundancy is fluid.

Life moves to the south.

There is only the now,

and I am always with you.

For example, look to your left.

Hi.

When you canceled, it freed me

up, so I'm traveling too. Yipee.

You know, I'm not sure

I'm getting the book.

Oh, but it's getting you.

You're almost

non-recognizable now.

Thank you.

I show you my leg.

I stand close,

and you inhale my perfume.

I offer my ripe flower

to you and you deny it.

This book is over.

Hi.

I don't speak German.

Yeah, yeah.

I may help you, mister?

I'm looking for Adele Cotard.

Adele Lack.

We must not give addresses

or other personal informations.

Oh. I'm her husband.

No, you are not her husband,

which is named

Gunther und Heinz.

I'm the father of

her daughter, Olive.

I'm sorry, I-I cannot help you.

Dear diary,

Germany is wonderful.

So many friends here.

My new dads are great

and handsome

and brilliant directors

of theater.

Hello.

You're here?

Yeah.

I live with Adele and Olive

and Gunther and Heinz

and Uschi and Britt.

I'm everyone's nanny.

I wanna see my daughter.

Mmm.

Yeah, they sent me.

They?

Who are they?

Who the--? Who the fuck

are Uschi and Britt?

Uh, yeah, they decided

it's not time to see you--

They decided? Who decided?

They had her tattooed.

Oh, I did that.

Olive is my project--

She's a four-year-old!

She's a fucking four-year-old!

She-- She's almost

over 11 now.

She's my muse.

I love her--

You don't love her!

Where is she?

What did you do

to my daughter?

Oh, God.

Death comes

faster than you think.

Dr. Williams, that was your

last patient for the day.

Jennifer, let's stop

the charade, uh?

I don't know what

you're talking about.

You're actually

having an affair off set.

Palpable, huh?

Oh, okay.

Who told you?

I mean,

it's not good.

Not good,

oh, okay.

You're actors playing actors.

You're in this scene,

you're not just filming it.

You're in this scene.

Just like that--

As you're telling him this,

you realize that you're

attracted to him also.

And how are you

gonna let him know that?

And the guilt you feel

about telling him

about somebody else

knowing that.

Daddy, Daddy is mine.

Daddy can't play now, honey.

Daddy doesn't live

with us anymore, baby.

He had to go

find himself.

They still feel a

little tight in the toe.

Have an argument.

You're having an argument.

Have it.

I don't buy it.

You, sir,

are a horse's ass.

Just get the fucking shoe.

Two sizes--

Tom, don't turn

into another person

just because I say

change your action.

And this started just today?

Mm-hm.

- Never happened before.

Mm-mm.

Okay. Good.

You can get dressed.

I mean, you're a doctor,

right?

Now, am I dying?

Can you tell me that?

No.

No, you--?

You can't tell me?

I can't tell you.

No, you can't tell me

if you can't tell me?

No.

No, you can't tell me

'cause you're

not allowed to?

No.

Caden.

What are you

doing here?

Oh, I-I-I was wondering

if I was gonna bump into you.

I--

- You look great.

Thanks.

Is that a new haircut?

Yeah, for--

For a while now.

What are you doing

in New York?

Um, I'm here with Derek

and the boys.

Um, mini vacation.

The boys?

Yeah. I-I thought you knew.

How old?

Five.

Uh, twins.

Robert and Daniel

and Alan.

Ah.

Yes.

They're nice names.

Where are they?

Derek took them

to the Natural History

so I could shop.

Ah.

It's so good

to see you, Caden. I--

How are things?

You know, I, uh--

I was with Claire.

And we--

We have a daughter and--

But we're separated.

Um...

How about with you?

Good.

I have a great job

at Lens Shapers.

Shapers. Great.

You wear a lab coat.

It's so good to see you.

Oh, good to see you, Hazel.

Hey! Hey!

I got you.

Let me go.

How I love Maria.

She is so much more of a father

than Caden ever was,

with his drinking

and unfortunate

body odor and rotting teeth.

I could only loathe him,

and perhaps pity him.

But Maria.

I wanna come back.

I wanna take care

of you and Olive.

Ariel. Ariel. Fuck.

Ariel.

No, no, no, it's so late.

Please.

Hello?

Okay.

My father died.

Oh, baby.

They said his body

was riddled with cancer

and that he didn't know.

That he went in

because his finger hurt.

They said he suffered horribly.

And that he...

That he called out for me

before he died.

They said that he--

He said he regretted his life.

And they said

he said a lot of things.

Too many to recount.

They said it was the longest...

...and saddest deathbed speech

any of them had ever heard.

There was so little

left of him...

they had to

fill the coffin

with cotton balls

to keep him

from rattling around.

I'm really sorry

for your loss.

Thank you.

Can you excuse me a moment?

Of course.

I need to use the bathroom.

All right.

God bless you and your family.

God bless you.

Will you excuse me?

It's Hazel.

Leave a message or not.

It's your dime.

It's left five people dead.

Sorry.

Caden?

Hi, Derek.

In other news,

German pharmaceutical giant

has won its libel suit

against patients

claiming chromosomal damage

from use of the arthritis

medication...

You, uh...

Just tell me what to do?

In Pakistan today,

the government--

Caden, everyone has to figure

out their own life, you know?

I just want you to look at me

the way you used to.

Oh, honey, I can't anymore.

You know I'm sorry.

I-I screwed everything up,

and I-I don't have

any courage.

And I-- And I'm sorry.

Caden.

I'm okay.

I don't want you to be okay.

I mean, I do, but I--

It just, uh...

It rips my guts out.

I'll help you through

any way I can.

And I'll--

I'll help you through too.

I'm fine.

I have Derek.

Okay, I'm going.

Honey, I'm coming.

Dear diary,

today I felt a wetness

between my legs.

Maria explained to me,

now I am a woman.

And being a woman is wonderful

with Maria to guide me.

Olive?

Olive.

Olive, it's Daddy.

Olive, it's Daddy.

Olive, it's Daddy!

Olive, it's Daddy!

Don't fucking stare at me!

Olive!

Get off!

It's my daughter!

That's my daughter!

Get off!

Get off!

I won't settle

for anything less

than the brutal truth.

Brutal.

Brutal.

Each day I'll hand you

a scrap of paper.

It'll tell you

what happened to you that day.

You felt a lump in your breast.

You looked at your wife

and saw a stranger, et cetera.

Caden?

What?

When are we gonna

get an audience in here?

It's been 17 years.

All right, I'm not excusing

myself from this either.

I will have someone play me

to delve into the murky,

cowardly depths

of my lonely,

fucked-up being.

And he'll get notes too,

and those notes

will correspond

to the notes

I truly receive

every day

from my god!

Get to work!

They fired me.

I caused an outbreak

of conjunctivitis.

Oh, God.

I didn't wash my hands.

I had pinkeye hands.

Oh, God.

I'm such a stupid cow.

Fucking private Christian

school is killing us.

You know, it's not cheap.

It's Derek's thing.

I don't believe in that shit,

you know.

You try to be a good person.

I mean, that's all there is.

Do you have anything

for me, Caden?

Uh...

I mean, I already

have an assistant.

You know, I don't have

a box office yet, but--

Please, Caden.

Please, Caden. I...

Please, Caden.

Sammy Barnathan?

This is Sammy Barnathan.

I don't have a résumé

or a picture.

I've never worked as an actor.

Good.

Tell me why you're here.

Well, I've been...

I've been following you

for 20 years.

So I knew about this audition

because I follow you.

And I've learned

everything about you

by following you.

So hire me,

and you'll see

who you truly are.

Peek-a-boo.

Okay.

Hazel, I don't think

we need to talk to anyone else.

This guy has me down.

I'm gonna cast him right now.

And then maybe you and I

can get a drink.

And we can try to figure out

this thing between us...

why I cried.

'Cause I've never

felt about anybody

the way I feel about you.

And I wanna fuck you

until we merge into a chimera,

a mythical beast

with penis and vagina

eternally fused,

two pairs of eyes

that look only at each other,

and lips ever touching.

And only one voice

that whispers to itself.

Okay.

You've got the part.

I've never seen

your shit gray.

It's new.

That's a good--

Good boy.

When is it opening?

When it's ready.

We need to get in.

It's bad out here.

Sorry.

You know, I was thinking

of calling it Simulacrum.

I-I-I don't even know

what it means.

Can I have a nickel

if I doesn't play

with my pee-pee no more?

Yeah.

How about The Flawed Light

of Love and Grief?

I'm not sure.

Claire, I want you

to play yourself.

Sammy's gonna move

into your apartment set as me.

It, uh...

It would be my honor

to play your husband, Claire.

You're an amazing actress.

No, I saw you

do Bernarda Alba

last year

at the Roundabout.

Yeah?

That was a fun play.

Emotionally, it was tough,

but fucking fulfilling.

Plus, I loved working with

so many strong female actresses.

I'm gonna start thinking

about myself.

Start, huh?

Claire Keen. Claire Keen.

Why did we

leave Adele, Caden?

She left us.

Now, you know that

better than anybody.

Except me.

An amazing

artist though.

The best living artist.

I mean, there's no one who

stares the truth in the face

like she does.

Sweet pussy too.

How do you know that?

Oh, I read it.

Anyway...

I mean, I don't know

where she is.

Well, maybe she's got

a sublet in New York.

Maybe she's got

a retrospective at the Met.

Maybe...

baby.

Why are you giving me this?

I wanna follow you there

and see how you lose

even more of yourself.

Research.

You know,

for the part.

Partner.

Hold it. Hold it, please.

Hold it, please.

I asked you

to hold the door.

I'm sorry, I, uh,

pressed the button,

but I think it was too late.

You didn't press it.

Have a good night.

Yeah, thanks.

Are you Ellen?

What?

- Ellen.

Are you Ellen Bascomb?

What?

I'm to give the key to 31Y

to Ellen Bascomb.

Yes, I'm Ellen.

She said you should just

go ahead and get started.

And don't forget

to change the sheets.

Okay, thanks.

Oh, sweetheart.

Adele?

Adele?

Hi, Ellen.

Be a doll and do the sheets

and whatever's in the hamper.

Your money's under the toaster.

Kisses. Mwah, Adele.

P.S. Bag of stuff in bedroom

closet for Goodwill.

Take what you want.

Went for a walk.

I had to think.

All night?

You smell weird.

Are you wearing lipstick?

No.

What do I--?

What do I smell like?

Like bad?

Like an old person?

I don't know.

Like mold and cleaning products.

Like you're menstruating.

I don't know.

Menstruating?

You tell me.

I-I don't menstruate.

So I don't know how I could

smell like I'm menstruating.

I wouldn't know.

I don't like the guy

you got to play you.

You don't like Sammy?

Why? I-I think he's good.

I think you should fire him.

Fuck you. I'm 45 years old.

I don't wanna

do this shit anymore.

I won't fire him, he's the best

thing in the play except you.

He's coming on to me.

He's grabbing my ass

in rehearsal.

He's your husband.

Good, Jimmy.

He's not my goddamn husband.

You are. What the fuck

is wrong with you?

I'm going to rehearsal.

It's about the play. We're

getting at something real here.

That's great, you guys.

Beautiful, Sammy.

Caden? Time-out?

- Yeah.

What's up?

Well, I feel we need

a, uh-- A Hazel in here.

I mean, there's a whole

side of Caden

I can't explore without a Hazel.

I guess, yeah.

I get to be a character?

Yeah.

Hurray.

Hi, Ellen.

Crackerjack job last night.

Would you do sheets again?

We had quite a fuck,

and it's musky and gross.

Kisses, A.

Hi, Adele.

Relined the cabinets.

I just wanted to let you know

I won a MacArthur Grant.

And I'm mounting a play

which I think is gonna

be pure and truthful.

Best, Ellen.

I went for a walk.

I had to think.

Caden, what are you

doing at night?

I have a right

to fucking know.

I've been going

to Adele's place.

And cleaning it.

Do you have any idea

what I've given up for you?

For this? For you?

For you?

Could you please get that?

Uh-oh, this looks serious.

Am I interrupting?

What's going on, Hazel?

I just wanted you to know

that the actress playing me

is ready to start today.

That's great,

that's all we need

around here; two Hazels.

Okay, I'll take that

as my cue.

Maybe you could

clean her toilet.

Maybe I will.

This is over.

No, Claire--

I'm not

talking to you.

I didn't say I was gonna

clean Hazel's toilet.

He did.

But you thought it!

I thought it,

but I didn't say it.

I got an offer to do

Needleman in a Haystack.

And I'm gonna take it.

I want you

out of the apartment.

The real one.

You can keep this one.

Claire.

Jesus.

Claire.

Hi, yeah, we're gonna need

a Claire replacement.

Claire!

I didn't say it!

I already

put out a call

for a Claire

replacement.

But I'm afraid

I'm gonna have to move on.

Just like that?

You don't give a guy

even a chance?

I'm not a chance-giving girl.

I'm a fun-loving girl,

remember?

I try and be

fun-loving, see?

Ha-ha-ha! Sorry.

My analyst says

you have complexes.

Once you enjoyed

Needleman's complexes.

That's before

my analyst taught me--

This is the last of my stuff.

Bye.

- Bye.

From the top?

Oh, Needleman,

you had such potential.

But I'm afraid

I'm gonna have to move on.

I'm sorry. Okay.

Oh, Needleman,

you had such potential.

But I'm afraid--

I'm going to have to move on.

Just like that?

Don't give a guy a chance?

I'm not a chance-giving girl.

I'm a fun-loving girl.

Once you enjoyed

Needleman's complexes.

That's before my

analyst taught me--

This is a lie.

Come here. I try to be

fun-loving, see?

She told me your hatred of--

Will.

Wall it up.

All of it.

Claire.

Oh, Needleman, oh...

All right.

Good for you with your grant.

Listen, I fixed up the walk-in

as a sort of bedroom

if you want.

We'd love to have you

and you wouldn't have to schlep

all the way to Queens.

It's just a thought.

Kisses, A.

Dear diary,

I'm afraid I'm gravely ill.

It is perhaps times like these

that one reflects

on things past.

An article of clothing

from when I was young.

A green jacket.

A walk with my father.

A game we once played.

Pretend we're fairies.

- Pretend we're fairies.

I'm a girl fairy.

- I'm a girl fairy,

and my name is Lauralee,

and my name is Lauralee.

and you're a boy fairy,

and your name is Teetery.

Pretend when we're fairies,

we fight each other.

And I say,

"Stop hitting me or I'll die."

And you hit me again,

and I say:

"Now I have to die."

And you say,

"But I'll miss you."

And I say, "But I have to.

But I have to.

"And you'll have to wait

"a million years

to see me again.

"And I'll be put in a box

"and all I'll need

is a tiny glass of water

"and lots of tiny

pieces of pizza.

And the box will have wings

like an airplane."

And you ask,

"Where will it take you?"

"Home," I say.

- Home.

This is to hear.

So words--

English here, yeah?

I'm dying

as I'm sure Maria told you.

The flower tattoos have become

infected and they're dying.

So I am as well.

This is life.

It's Maria.

She did this.

Maria gave me a reason to live

once you left.

The flowers defined me.

Your mother and Maria

took you away.

I've tried for years

to find you.

I didn't leave you.

I want to talk to you

about your homosexuality.

I'm not a homosexual.

Maria said you would deny it.

Well, she's a liar.

She's lying to you.

I had the same struggle

when I first

fell in love with Maria

and we began to have

dirty, aching sex.

Maria is your lover?

Of course,

she introduced me to myself.

To my vagina and to hers.

But you have no idea

how evil she is.

I need to forgive you

before I die

but I can't forgive someone

who has not asked

for forgiveness.

I just want--

I have no time.

I need you to ask

for forgiveness.

Can you ever

forgive me?

For what?

For abandoning you.

For abandoning you

to have anal sex

with my homosexual lover, Eric.

I will, I'll say it.

For abandoning you...

to have anal sex

with my homosexual

lover, Eric.

No.

Oh.

No, I'm sorry.

I cannot.

I hope you are happy,

faggot.

I'm not happy.

I'm not happy.

I've talked to you before.

This is not a play about dating.

It's about death.

Make it personal.

- Move along.

He doesn't need to

yell at them.

It is a play

about dating.

It's not a play

just about death.

It's about everything.

Dating, birth, death,

life, family...

...all that.

This doesn't look real.

What?

It's not real.

I can't hear you.

Morning, Hazel.

Hi, Caden.

How was your night?

It was okay.

Yours?

Ugh, Phillip was colicky.

I was up all night.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Everybody here?

Sammy's not here.

Jimmy called and--

Said there's some

subway problem.

Sorry. Sorry.

Hi, Hazel.

Hi, Sammy.

Sammy likes you.

I need you to build this.

This is just the façade.

It's Adele's place.

We'll be casting an Ellen.

I can give you

the interiors later.

A few days?

Millicent Weems?

Caden, this is--

Hazel, what do you

think of this title?

Unknown, Unkissed

and Lost?

Meh...

Anyway, uh, this

is Millicent Weems.

Have a seat.

How are you

at cleaning?

Very, very

good at it.

Because this part

requires a lot of it.

You'd be playing

a cleaning lady.

I played Egga,

the cleaning lady,

in Hedda Gabler

at the Roundabout.

Great. Okay.

And, uh, Mrs. Dobson

in Scrub-A-Dub

at the Pantages.

You're weirdly close

to what I visualized

for this character.

Glad to be weirdly close.

Sorry, everybody.

Maurice,

what's going on?

I'm sorry.

We have a couple

of new guys on.

We're not in sync yet.

We good to go?

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry.

Are you Ellen?

Are you

Ellen Bascomb?

Shit.

Line, please?

"What?"

Right, right.

What?

I'm to give the key to 31Y

to Ellen Bascomb.

Yes, I'm Ellen.

Oh, dear.

It's the wrong key.

I'll be in, in a second.

Did you hear that?

- What?

Uh, Caden, you're breaking

the fourth wall.

This is the wrong key.

I can open--

- I'm supposed to open the door.

Hold on.

Are you in there?

There's no one

in there.

Adele?

- Caden.

I'm jumping in the shower.

I'll be out in a second.

If you want some coffee

I can make a fresh pot.

Did you look at

the new painting on my easel?

What do you think?

Hey, thanks for the fuck

this morning.

People don't walk like that.

What? Too...?

No, just walk

like yourself.

Watch. Watch this.

I gotta go.

Watch this.

Where's, uh,

Hazel and Sammy?

Sammy.

Sammy.

Sammy.

Hi, Caden.

What are you doing?

I was being you, I...

You know, you like Hazel,

I like Hazel.

This Hazel

doesn't exist for you.

If you wanna like a Hazel,

like that one.

That's what I

tried to tell him.

No harm, no foul, Caden.

It's equity

break anyway.

Ten minutes,

everybody!

Hazel.

- What?

Well, you don't

like him, do you?

Yeah, he reminds me of you.

I'm me.

You don't need someone

to remind you of me.

Oh, don't worry,

Caden.

I like you more.

I do.

It's just, Sammy's fun.

I'm fun.

Oh, sweetie, no, you're not.

Hold on a sec. Yes?

Is this Caden Cotard?

Yes.

This is Officer Melnin

of Schenectady P.D.

I'm sorry to inform you

your mother's been the victim

of a home invasion.

What does that mean?

She is dead.

Was my father standing with us?

I don't know what he looks like.

He's dead.

So he looks dead, I guess.

Probably wasn't him, then.

He was a big guy.

Anyway...

Thanks for coming with me.

That's okay.

I asked Hazel

but she was busy tonight,

and you're the next best thing.

I mean, it's not that

you're the next best thing

but because you play her,

it feels comforting.

Does that make sense?

Although the thing is,

off-stage you're

nothing like her.

But you play her

very well, though.

Did Hazel mention what

she was doing tonight?

Because I called

her house before we left

and her husband told me

she wasn't gonna

be back till late.

And I just thought

that was weird

because she said

Phillip was sick.

She's having dinner

with Sammy.

That's interesting.

He's supposed to like me.

I'll have another talk with him.

Will you excuse me?

I need to go to the bathroom.

Don't forget your phone.

Hmm.

Thanks, Yammy.

It's Hazel.

Leave a message or not.

It's your dime.

You can stay

in my parents' room.

I thought someone

would have cleaned it up.

Who?

I don't know. Someone.

This is my room.

You can sleep here.

Where are you going to sleep?

The living-room couch.

Don't you want to sleep with me?

It's just sex.

Okay.

If you think it's okay.

How can you be like that?

I get undressed every day.

In front of someone

is different.

I don't see why.

Maybe because you have

a beautiful body.

Maybe that makes it easier.

Yeah, I suppose it might.

Do you want to fuck?

I do. Um, do you?

Take your clothes off.

I'm sorry.

I'm very, very lonely.

I don't, ah...

know what's wrong. I-I just--

I'm sorry.

Do you understand?

I mean, can--? Can you

understand loneliness?

Yeah. I mean--

I don't know, I--

I feel okay, mostly.

Fucking might help.

I'm sorry.

It's okay, I don't mind.

Take your clothes off.

You're very pretty.

Thanks.

Sometimes I wish

I could be pretty like that.

What, you wish you were a girl?

Sometimes I think

I might have been better at it.

Interesting.

It's kind of a drag

in a lot of ways.

Do you like guys?

No.

I only love women.

Well, I'm getting cold.

You're pretty, Caden.

Thanks for saying that.

Come to bed, pretty Caden.

I shouldn't have drunk

so much fucking beer last night.

What are you gonna do about it?

Get lunch. What are you

going to do?

For chrissake.

- Good, Roland.

Thanks, Caden.

We need to fire him.

We don't need to fire him.

Jeremy's playing to us.

Tell him to talk to Donna

and we'll hear what we hear.

Sammy's explaining too much.

It feels expository.

It needs to be shorthand,

like, "Jeremy, big."

Caden, can we stop a second?

Sure.

If Hazel's in love with Sammy,

and Caden's in love with Hazel

there would be a big

confrontation

where Caden turns

to me and says:

"It's obvious he's

a substitute for me."

Then I think Hazel would have

a good moment where she cries

or gets ang--

Gets angry,

I'm not sure which,

but I think it's sound--

That didn't happen.

I think Hazel would do that.

But Hazel hasn't

done that, Tammy.

Caden, what do you think?

I-- I feel like we could--

We could try it.

Great.

- Fuck.

Let's try it.

Maybe it could happen

at the director's table.

Fuck.

You know, Tammy's right.

I don't understand

why you're with Sammy.

He's nice, he's available,

he fucks me without crying.

Since when are you available?

Derek left because of you.

When?

How come you never told me?

I don't know, Caden.

- How come a lot of things, huh?

Fuck.

I gotta let go of the actor

who played Derek.

What's his name?

What? That is such

a romantic response.

I am touched.

- It's not my response.

Derek is played by...

It crossed my mind.

We have enormous

budgetary concerns here.

Oh, oh...

Joe.

Stop. Okay? No, just stop.

I do not like Tammy,

and she's nothing like me.

How can you like her, anyway?

She looks like you.

Joe Abernathy.

No, she does not.

She offered to have sex with me.

Ugh.

- Abernathy?

Yeah.

Was it good?

It was nice.

- Oh.

I'm just being honest.

It was nice.

It wasn't earth-shattering.

Did you cry?

- No.

You're making progress.

Okay, I cried a little before.

Hazel, you've been

a part of me forever.

Don't you know that?

I breathe your name

in every exhalation.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

Oh,

this is the place

- Yeah.

I stayed with Derek

and the kids.

Yeah, we're almost--

Caden.

Oh.

Caden.

Caden. Caden, look at me.

What are you doing?

Sammy, stay right where you are.

I'm coming up.

There's nothing to talk about,

Hazel. It's not your fault.

What are you doing?

I've watched you forever, Caden.

But you've never really looked

at anyone other than yourself.

So watch me.

Watch my heart break.

Watch me jump.

Watch me learn that after death

there's nothing.

No more watching, there's

no more following, no love.

Say goodbye to Hazel for me.

And say it for yourself too.

None of us has much time.

Sammy! Come down!

Hazel, I love you!

Sammy!

I didn't jump, Sammy.

A man stopped me before

I jumped. Get up!

I didn't jump.

I know how to do it now.

There are nearly 13 million

people in the world.

I mean, can you imagine

that many people?

And none of those people

is an extra.

They're all leads

in their own stories.

They have to be given their due.

I know how to do it now.

There are 13 million

people in this world.

Can you imagine

how many people that is?

None of those people

are an extra.

They're all a lead

in their own story.

They have got

to be given their due.

Do you see what

I'm saying?

Come over tonight.

Please.

You know, we could get

a place together.

We could get a loft.

God, Caden, that sounds nice.

I miss my daughter.

Maybe she could come

live with us.

I miss Olive.

And the other one.

I'm a bad person.

Oh, no, you're not.

I am.

I should never have gone

out with Sammy.

I was just trying to get to you.

You can't cause someone

to kill himself.

He was very troubled.

God, Caden.

I wish we had this

when we were young.

And all those years in between.

My heart aches so much for you.

We're here, Caden.

I'm here.

I'm aching for it being over.

Yeah,

the end is built

into the beginning.

What can you do?

God, you're just perfect.

I'm a mess.

But we fit,

don't we?

Yeah.

It doesn't always

happen for me now

because of the medication

and everything.

I take a lot of pills.

It's okay.

I'm-- I'm embarrassed.

I don't want you to think

it's about you or-- Or me.

It's okay.

I have a title.

The Obscure Moon

Lighting an Obscure World.

I think it might be too much.

Yeah, probably.

Sir, could you come up here, please?

Oh.

Might be smoke inhalation.

It's Hazel. Leave a message

or not. It's your dime.

I know how to do the play now.

It'll all take place

over the course of one day

and that day will

be the day before you died.

It was the happiest

day of my life.

And I'll be able

to relive it forever.

See you soon.

So have you got any thoughts

for today's rehearsal?

I have a new title, maybe.

Oh.

Infectious Diseases in Cattle.

Oh.

The title means a lot of things.

You'll see, it means a lot.

I need a Caden for my Hazel.

I'd very much like

to play Caden.

I-I know that--

I know that it would

be nontraditional casting

but I think, ah, I could do it.

I think I understand him.

I don't understand him.

Well, Caden Cotard

is a man already dead.

He, um, lives in a half world

between stasis and antistasis

and time is concentrated,

chronology confused.

Yet up until recently he's--

He's strived valiantly

to make sense of his situation.

But now he, ah--

He's turned to stone.

Okay. Sounds good.

Okay.

Thanks.

She's right?

I didn't see that at all.

I saw it as much more hopeful.

None of those people is extras.

They're all leads

in their own stories.

No, this is tedious.

- This is nothing.

Your scene's over.

Would you leave the stage?

What is she doing?

He's directing.

Can I get you down

at the coffin there?

She not getting the

feel of you, Caden.

You don't move around like that.

You don't talk to people.

Sit on the ground there.

Okay, everybody, let's run it.

Everything is more

complicated than you think.

You only see a tenth

of what is true.

There are a million

little strings

attached to every

choice you make.

You can destroy your life

every time you choose.

But maybe you won't know

for 20 years

and you may never,

ever trace it to its source.

And you only get one

chance to play it out.

Just try and figure

out your own divorce.

And they say there is no fate,

but there is,

it's what you create.

And even though the world goes

on for eons and eons

you are only here for a fraction

of a fraction of a second.

Most of your time is spent being

dead or not yet born.

But while alive,

you wait in vain

wasting years

for a phone call

or a letter or a look

from someone or something

to make it all right.

And it never comes,

or it seems to,

but it doesn't really.

So you spend your time

in vague regret

or vaguer hope that something

good will come along.

Something to make

you feel connected.

Something to make

you feel whole.

Something to make

you feel loved.

And the truth is

I feel so angry.

And the truth is

I feel so fucking sad.

And the truth is,

I've felt so fucking hurt

for so fucking long.

And for just as long,

I've been pretending I'm okay

just to get along,

just for--

I don't know why.

Maybe because no one wants

to hear about my misery

because they have their own.

Well, fuck everybody.

Amen.

Amen.

Delightful.

Thanks.

I'm out of ideas.

I'm dead.

Well, I could take over

as you for a bit

until you feel refreshed.

I think you're tired, Caden.

All these years

of creative work.

I think you just

need some time

to regroup.

I need to keep

my hand in.

Well, Ellen needs

to be filled.

What do you mean?

Her role. Just for a bit.

It's a choice role.

I do like to clean.

Ellen?

Yes?

Caden asked me to give you this.

You're to keep

it in all the time.

So touched by the sadness

of Adele's neighbor

so close to death.

Say, "Thank you,"

to Adele's neighbor.

Thank you.

You're very welcome, young lady.

Now say, "Have a very good day."

Have a very good day.

I will indeed.

Reach for the toilet paper.

Wrap some around your hand.

Wipe yourself.

There was supposed

to be something else.

You were supposed

to have something,

a calm.

Love.

Children.

A child, at least.

Children.

Meaning.

Everything okay, Eric?

Everything is everything.

He hates me.

I disappointed him,

and he hates me.

Everyone is disappointing

when you know someone.

I remember having that

picnic with my mother.

Look at me.

Ellen, what is it?

I was so young.

I'm going to remember

this moment

for the rest of my life, Mama,

and in exactly 20 years,

come here with my daughter

and have exactly

the same picnic.

There was so much hope.

Baby, that the loveliest thing

I've ever heard.

Oh, God.

Sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry.

Where is my little girl?

Where is my little girl?

Where is my little girl?

Look at the night table

for a note from Adele.

Adele died of lung

cancer last night.

You may stay on if you like.

Stare out the window.

Remember the time

she got you to pose

for one of her paintings?

How she told you

how beautiful you were?

How she made you feel pretty

again for a little while?

Think how you'll miss her.

Stand up.

Now it is waiting,

and nobody cares.

And when your wait is over,

this room will still exist...

...and it will continue to hold

shoes and dresses and boxes

and maybe someday

another waiting person.

And maybe not.

Freedom. Two, four!

The room doesn't care either.

Hello?

There's nobody running

the elevator anymore.

What was once before you,

an exciting

and mysterious future

is now behind you,

lived, understood,

disappointing.

You realize

you are not special.

You have struggled

into existence

and are now slipping

silently out of it.

This is everyone's experience.

Every single one.

The specifics hardly matter.

Everyone is everyone.

So you are Adele,

Hazel, Claire,

Olive.

You are Ellen.

All her meager sadnesses

are yours.

All her loneliness.

The gray, straw-like hair.

Her red, raw hands. It's yours.

It is time for you

to understand this.

Walk.

As the people who adore

you stop adoring you

as they die, as they move on

as you shed them,

as you shed

your beauty, your youth

as the world forgets you,

as you recognize

your transience,

as you begin to lose

your characteristics one by one

as you learn

there is no one watching you

and there never was,

you think only about driving.

Not coming from anyplace,

not arriving anyplace,

just driving,

counting off time.

Now, you are here.

It's 7:43.

Now, you are here. It's 7:44.

Now, you are...

gone.

Where is everybody?

Mostly dead.

Some have left.

Would you sit

with me for a moment?

Because I'm very tired

and-- And lonely.

Hmm.

I feel like I know you.

Well, I was, um, the mother

in Ellen's dream.

Yes.

You seem a bit older

than I remember.

That dream was quite

a while ago.

Apologize.

I didn't mean to say

you looked old.

Ah--

There's everyone's dreams

in all those apartments.

All those thoughts

I'll never know.

That's the truth of it.

I wanted to do that picnic

with my daughter.

I feel like I've

disappointed you terribly.

Oh, no.

I am so proud of you.

Ask her if you can put your

head on her shoulder.

Can I lay my head

on your shoulder?

Yes.

Hmm.

I love you.

I love you too.

I know how to do this play now.

I have an idea.

I think...

if everyone--

Die.

# I'm just a little person #

# One person in a sea #

# Of many little people #

# Who are not aware of me #

# I do my little job #

# And live my little life #

# Eat my little meals #

# Miss my little kid and wife #

# And somewhere

Maybe someday #

# Maybe somewhere far away #

# I'll find

A second little person #

# Who will look at me and say #

# I know you #

# You're the one

I've waited for #

# Let's have some fun #

# Life is precious #

# Every minute #

# And more precious

With you in it #

# So let's have some fun #

# I'm glad I found you #

# Like hanging round you #

# You're the one #

# I like the best #

# Somewhere, maybe someday #

# Maybe somewhere far away #

# Somewhere, maybe someday #

# Maybe somewhere far away #

# Somewhere, maybe someday #

# Maybe somewhere far away #

# I'll meet

A second little person #

# And we'll go out and play #

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