Symphony in Slang (1951) - full transcript

Various saints are logging details of everyone entering Heaven, but because they're a bit out of touch with early 1950s slang, they come up with some very strange impressions of a recently deceased young man's life when he describes it to them. - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
"Symphony In Slang"
(Sinfon?a en Argot)

You may enter. Next, please!

Howdy dad? What's new?
How's tricks? What's cooking?

What's cooking?
How's tricks?

Hmm, what a strange language
you bring from the Earth.

I don't seem to follow you...

I shall refer you to the master
of the dictionary,Noel Webster...

perhaps he can understand you.

-Er, Mr. Webster...

This newcomer's vocabulary is so unusual,
that I'm unable to record his life on Earth

Er,would you mind see if you can
comprehend his out-manner of speech?

Now, young man, go ahead
with the story of your life.

Sure thing,dad! Well,I was born
with a silver spoon in my mouth.

-Silver spoon in your mouth?
-Yeah,silver spoon in my mouth.

Hmm, proceed...

Then,I seem to grow up overnight.

One day,at the crack of dawn...

I got up with the
chickens to hunt a job...

...and got a job slinging hash

...because the proprietor
was short-handed.

But I couldn?t cut the mustard? the guy gave me the gate.

So I went back to my
little hole in the wall.

I was beside myself with anger.

Then I decided to get a
train ticket to Texas...

...and there I made some
dough, punching cattle.

From there, I flew to Chicago.

There, a beautiful girl
stepped into the picture.

Our eyes met...

my breath came in short pants...

... and I had goose pimples.

I was all thumbs!

Mary?s clothes fit
her like a glove...

and she looked mighty pretty
with the hair done up in a bun.

She had good looking pins too!

Finally, she gives me a date.

I put on my white tie and tails...

...and brother, did she
put on the dog!

We went around together
for some time...

...painting the town red?

...going to the Stork Club...

...and a box at the opera.

After the opera,
I had a cocktail...

and Mary had a Moscow Mule.

At dinner Mary let her hair down...

...and ate like a horse.

By then, my money
was running out on me...

So I write a check - it bounced!

Brother,I was really in a pickle!

The proprietor drew a gun on me...

...but I gave him the slip?

...and headed into foothills.

In no time,
the law was on my heels.

And the weirdest thing:
the judge tried to pump me but...

it seemd that everytime I opened
my mouth, I put my foot in it.

So he sent me up the river...

to do a stretch in the jug.

I was up against it?

and felt myself going to pot...

but I raised the big stink...

and they finally let me talk
to an undercover man.

After going through
a lot of red tape...

...he sprung me!

It sure felt good to
stretch my legs again!

Then I went straight to the bus station
and caught a Greyhound for New York.

On arriving,
I dropped in on Mary...

and threw myself at her feet.

I asked to marry me...

but she turned her back on me.

...and got on her high horse.

I couldn?t touch her
with a 10 foot pole!

She wouldn?t say a word.

Guess the cat got her tongue.

So, I walked out on her.

After that, I went to pieces.

Feeling lonely,I went down
to Joe's Malt Shop...

where a bunch of the boys
were hanging around.

...and the music was nice...

the guy at the piano played by ear.

I felt a tug at my elbow?

It was the soda clerk.

We sat down and chewed
the rag a while.

I heard from the grapevine...

that Mary was going
around with an old flame.

That burned me up...

because I knew that he
was feeding her a line!

But the guy really
spent his money like water

I think he was connected
with the railroad.

As they danced,
I tried to chisel in...

but the guy got in my hair,
so I left.

Outside it was raining
cats and dogs!

I was feeling mighty blue...

and everything looked black...

...but I carried on!

I went to the 1000 Islands.

There,I became a beachcomber...

but I still though of Mary...

and a tear ran down my cheek.

So I send her a cable...

Next day she sends me back a wire.

I rushed back to the
US on a cattle boat...

and hotfooted it over
to Mary?s apartment.

Then when I opened the door...

I noticed quite a few changes!

While Mary...
Mary had a bunch of little ones!

The groom had his hands full,too!

So all this struck me so funny,
that I died laughing!

And here I am. Well, what do
you think, did you follow me?

Well, I, er... I, hmm,
er... well, I, er...

What's the matter,can't you talk?
Has the cat got your tongue?!