Sweet Revenge (1990) Movie Script

My life is over.

I have no future.

♪ You're only 24 ♪

That's easy enough

for you to say.

You're already

in law school.

Honey,

you still don't want to

give up your inheritance

and put your old wife

through law school?

Well, your old man

had planned on giving up

on the advertising grind

and becoming a real writer.

The all-American dreams--

Hemingway in Paris.

Yeah, well, isn't that

all our dreams?

Yeah, but at this rate,

I'll be 56 before I have

enough money to put myself

through law school,

60 before we get

to the Champs-élysées.

I've got an idea.

Why don't you send Linda

to law school?

Spend Grandma's legacy.

After she's finished,

she'll be able to support you

while you write

your great American novel.

Mmm, you know,

hearing it from Frank

does put a whole different

spin on the idea.

Happy birthday.

Really? No.

Really?

Wow.

Really?

Do you mean it?

Oh...

I love you.

Oh, look, I know how much

this means to you.

And, I swear, I will

never let you down.

You can count on me.

Here, I will write it down.

Oh, come on.

No, no, no, no.

A promise is a promise.

I, Linda J. Michaels...

do solemnly--

well, not so solemnly--

swear to...

support...

John Michaels...

as a writer.

Thank you.

...sustained.

Your Honor,

to finish up with

the distribution

of property,

my client feels

justified in asking--

What are you doing here?

What's the matter?

Cat got your brain?

We're getting a divorce.

I mean, what are

you doing here

without an attorney?

I am an attorney.

Right.

It's been four years

since you've been

inside a courtroom.

Well, it's been four years

since Frank practiced law.

I think I can handle myself.

Okay, Mrs. F. Lee Bailey,

how about you give me back

some of my albums?

Could we talk

about this later, please?

You still have my, uh,

B.B. King, Billie Holiday--

The Billie Holiday is mine.

Yeah, but I

bought it for you.

Stop it.

The Copeland albums are mine.

The West Side Story

soundtrack--

Would you stop this, please?

Will you give me back

my albums?

All I've got are

your Wayne Newton

albums, okay?

Do you have

Live at Caesar's Palace?

That's it.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

You two will get your turn!

Until then, wait outside!

If she wants hardball,

we play.

You go for it, Frank.

You get whatever you can.

Cool your jets.

Wayne Newton,

how could you?

You go take a walk.

We're not finished here.

You all right?

Sure.

I hate taking sides.

Then don't.

Sorry.

You're his best friend.

I'm your friend,

too, Linda.

Michaels v. Michaels?

Yes.

You're up.

Good luck.

John.

Looks like the two of you

traveled a long way

to get divorced.

This right?

You live in Paris?

Yes, Your Honor.

You, too,

Mr. De Labrier?

Yes, Your Honor.

And you're, uh,

representing yourself

in this matter, young lady?

Well, I believe that is

my constitutional prerogative.

Never said it wasn't.

Just don't think

it's all that smart.

Anything you want

to add here, Mr. Michaels?

Yes, Your Honor, there is.

There's this matter

of some record albums--

Perhaps we should move on

to the property settlement.

Looks like we already

got there.

I see both parties have agreed

to the dispersement

of various personal property.

Yes, except the albums--

This, then, brings us

to Mr. De Labrier's motion

for spousal support.

What?

What motion?

What are you guys

trying to pull here?

Linda, this was filed

weeks ago.

Will counsel please approach?

Is this your signature?

I believe so, yes.

But I've never seen

this document. May I?

I'm prepared to rule

in De Labrier's motion

this morning.

You've got to be kidding.

Your Honor, this motion

is ridiculous.

Monsieur De Labrier

is asking for alimony

based on

an alleged agreement

between Mr. Michaels

and myself.

Alleged?

How about May 4, 1978.

How about

135 West 75th Street,

apartment 4D?

How about I got a witness?

Um, if I may explain,

Your Honor--

I was hoping someone would.

This, Your Honor,

is the 1978 agreement.

And you always criticized me

for being a pack rat.

It's a little

hard to read.

I can see that.

Your Honor,

Mr. Michaels did, in fact,

put Mrs. Michaels

through law school.

He did this, Your Honor,

based on his wife's assurance

that she would support him

when her own career

was secure.

Mrs. Michaels is now

a successful attorney

based in Paris

with a prestigious

U.S. law firm.

We, therefore, ask

that she pay alimony

to Mr. Michaels

as fulfillment

of the agreement

set forth on May 4, 1978.

Ms. Michaels,

and your response?

Your Honor, my husband

has had sufficient time

to write without distraction.

He hasn't had a job

since we moved to Paris,

unless you consider

hanging out in cafés

an undiscovered profession.

Now, I have been

his sole means of support,

and in the last four years,

all he's had is time to write.

The trouble is, he can't.

He's not motivated.

Your Honor, my husband can

barely compose a grocery list,

much less write a novel.

Now, I feel I've

more than adequately

upheld my end

of the agreement.

Our evidence points to monies

Mr. Michaels

has earned writing.

What money? He made $2500

on an article he wrote

for Esquire in 1978.

All right.

I've heard enough.

Now Mr. De Labrier,

your client seems

quite capable

of taking care of himself.

Well, Your Honor--

However,

it also seems

he came to rely

on Mrs. Michaels'

promise of future income.

He did relinquish

an inheritance,

pay for her education,

and support her while

she started her career.

In light of that,

I do grant your motion

for spousal support.

Your Honor--

Until such time

that Mr. Michaels has recouped

the sum of his losses,

which, according

to this paperwork,

looks to be about $250,000,

Mrs. Michaels

will pay him alimony.

Should, however,

Mr. Michaels marry first,

this order will be set aside.

Call the next case.

Shit.

Morning.

Things didn't go that well?

You might say that.

I lost my own divorce case,

my flight was

delayed seven hours,

and I left my keys here,

so I couldn't get in

my own apartment,

and I'm down to my last

pair of pantyhose.

So, no, things

did not go that well.

In fact, they sort of sucked.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean

to take it out on you.

Any mail?

Well, we'll attack it

bit by bit.

Phone list?

Here.

Try Mr. Harris.

Mr. Harris

doesn't answer.

Try Mr. Lerner.

I heard you had

a rough time in New York.

Mrs. Michaels' office.

Oh, Mrs. Michaels

is in a meeting.

What can I do for you?

You're doing it.

Well, this is easy.

Will I see you tonight?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Well, we need to talk.

Oh, I just had

the worst experience

of my life in New York.

I really don't

feel like going out.

Well, after these last

two months--

Why don't you try doing

something with your wife?

You really know how

to hurt a man, don't you?

You'll get over it.

Okay.

Just don't work too hard.

That's an order

from the senior partner.

Yes, sir.

And Jim,

thanks.

It's nothing.

Ruth, who does your hair?

Alexander.

I don't like it.

Starting tomorrow,

we're leading a new life.

We'll dust off

the old Royal

because, my friend,

we are talking

serious writing time.

Forget O'Neill.

Forget James Joyce.

Forget Hemingway.

Think, instead, of Michaels.

Now, uh,

you bring up a good point.

I mean, what am I

going to write?

Yeah, well,

I thought about that

on the plane coming home.

Now, uh, maybe we could

ease into a novel.

Yeah?

A nice novel--

Dostoevsky, Turgenev.

No?

Or we try something

a little less ambitious?

Yeah?

Hey, listen. I'm not going

to write that poetry shit.

No way.

Well, we could do

a short story,

or a play,

or a dramatic monologue.

Come on, dig in.

You're not hungry.

Me neither.

Yeah, you're right.

I can't do this.

I can't take money

from her like this.

I've got to talk to her.

If you've come

for more blood,

I'm all out.

No. I just came to talk.

May I?

Look, uh,

I've been thinking.

Now, Frank does have

a point.

You did promise

to support me, but--

But, what?

I've been supporting you.

You see how you are?

You see how it's

impossible to talk to you?

You never get

the big picture.

What big picture?

We were a team!

I gave for you.

Now you could do

the same for me.

What about giving

for yourself?

You know, that's typical.

You have no faith.

You don't believe in me.

Of course,

when did you ever?

That's not true.

Look, you can't

control everything.

I'm not trying to--

I came here

with good intentions--

I don't have to deal

with your intentions.

I have to deal

with your actions.

As I said, I came here

with good intentions.

But, as always, your ice queen

personality ruined it!

This icy quality,

as you call it,

would be a respected one

in a man!

Look, you are stuck

with the alimony

until I remarry.

Well, I got news for you.

I'm not going to remarry.

I'm going to enjoy spending

every cent you owe me.

Okay?

Everyone is stuck.

You're stuck with me now.

I said, you're stuck!

Remarry.

Hear me?

Now are you satisfied,

Pickering?

Can I put it more fairly,

Mrs. Pearce?

Bundle her off

to the bathroom.

You're a great bully,

you are.

I won't stay here

if I don't like it.

I never asked to go

to Buckingham Palace,

I didn't.

If I'd known what I was

letting myself in for,

I wouldn't have come here.

I wouldn't have.

Quiet.

I shall make a duchess

of this draggle-tailed

guttersnipe.

I've never had

a bath in my life,

not what you'd

call a proper one.

Nonsense, Eliza.

Don't you want to be sweet

and clean and decent,

like a lady?

No! No! No!

Let's see who's stuck.

Mr. Brommel?

Sid, how are you?

No, no, no. It's not

about the contract.

It's more a personal matter.

You see, I'm looking

to find an actress--

an American actress.

You're from Wisconsin?

Milwaukee, yes.

When did you move to Paris?

'82.

Hated Maine, too many trees.

Who's your

favorite author?

Sylvia Plath.

Do cookbooks count?

Uh, books.

Um, what college

did you attend?

Yale.

College?

What about hobbies?

Needlepoint,

and, of course, crochet.

Mud wrestling.

What was the most

embarrassing moment

in your life.

I did Kismet in summer stock.

Embarrassing...

uh, do you mind

if we go back

to the second

question, please?

That won't be necessary.

But thank you

for coming, Miss Marks,

and good luck with whatever.

Of course.

Yes, of course.

Is it me, or what?

Three more.

Miss Williams.

Miss Williams,

take a seat.

So, I see you've done

some soap operas.

Bit parts, mostly.

Since coming here,

I've done a little theater.

But I have a lot of training.

I studied

at the Actors Studio

in New York

and the Central School

of Speech and Drama in London,

and I appeared

at the Edinburgh

Shakespeare Festival

as Beatrice--

Edinburgh.

That's a coincidence,

my husband--

My ex-husband

grew up there.

So, tell me more.

Who's your favorite author?

Uh, it's kind of like,

"What's your favorite

ice cream?", isn't it?

What's your favorite

ice cream?

Vanilla.

Raspberry sorbet.

George Eliot,

J.D. Salinger,

Edna O'Brien, Willa Cather,

not all of Hemingway,

but definitely

The Sun Also Rises.

Chocolate chip.

You're hired.

Don't you want me

to read or something?

Nope. This job is more

of an improvisation.

What kind of improvisation?

Is there nudity involved?

No, no, no, no.

You see--

Why don't we go out

onto the balcony

and get some air.

Air?

There's quite

a bit of it there.

Nice, cold air.

So, what's this part

all about?

Well, it's about a divorce,

my divorce,

and about the fact

that I have to pay

my husband alimony.

So you're doing

a play about it.

No, no. Not exactly.

You see, there's

one tiny hitch

to this alimony business.

If John remarries,

then I don't have

to pay it anymore.

Now if you were my husband,

and you got this free ride,

would you want

to get married?

I don't know.

Of course

you wouldn't.

But let's suppose

you met the perfect guy,

someone who liked

everything you liked,

who laughed

at all of your jokes,

who didn't notice that

you were getting cellulite

or that your breasts

were starting to look sad.

Would you be able

to resist him?

Wouldn't you fall

in love with him

and want to marry him?

Of course you would,

and so would John.

So--

You're John's

perfect woman.

Or, I should say,

you will be.

Me!

I don't even know the guy.

No, no, no. That's where

the acting comes in.

I'll train you.

I know his perfect woman.

I know everything he likes,

everything he dislikes,

what he reads, eats,

drinks, wears to sleep.

You already have

some stuff in common.

He was born in Edinburgh,

and you did

the Edinburgh Festival.

His favorite author

is Hemingway,

and you said you like

The Sun Also Rise

So, all you do is marry him.

Marry him!

For a day-- an hour,

a day, a week, tops.

Then you'll get divorced,

you'll be well-paid,

and it'll be the part

of a lifetime.

This is incredible.

You won't have

to sleep with him.

We'll get around that somehow.

It'll be awkward, but--

This is perfect.

This is incredible.

I can't believe

this happened to me.

Either you're kidding,

or you're crazy!

You want some time

to think it over?

Years! I'm out of here.

Take my card.

Where have you been?

The kids! We have

to help with the kids!

Kids? What kids?

That kid.

Go home.

Hurry up, hurry up.

This is Mrs. Dupre.

And this is it.

Welcome aboard.

You're late.

If I weren't so desperate,

I would fire you. Save me.

There's cake and ice cream.

Serve it before the brats

start throwing it.

Okay.

So--

Oh.

Thank you very much,

for everything.

You're welcome.

You didn't want

the job. Why?

Because it wasn't--

Can't you do something?

Give me some animal balloons--

balloons, animals, something.

Calm down.

Continuez chanter!

Philippe! Look!

Le gâteau!

You've destroyed my birthday!

We still have ice cream.

I hate ice cream!

I can't believe

you did that.

I can't believe

he just did that.

Hi, Linda, this is Frank.

No.

Oh, Linda, Linda, listen,

about that divorce thing

that you lost...

Boring.

Oh, maybe, romantic, you see.

Oh, uh, Linda, listen,

we've been friends

for a long time.

You want to hear

something funny?

You always thought

I moved back here

because I missed John.

Well, it was you

I missed, my honey.

Do you think that I'm cold?

I'll turn the heating on.

No, no, no.

You know, unfeeling, icy.

I think you feel just right.

What is this,

post-divorce blues?

Mmm. Maybe.

Mm-hmm.

I have some news

that might just cheer you up.

Link Palmer called

from Washington yesterday,

and it seems my name

is being batted around

as candidate for senator

from Boston.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's great.

Official announcement

won't be made for

a couple days yet.

But, well, it does mean

that I'm going to have to

move back

to the States soon.

Now, don't worry that

pretty little head of yours.

You know how much

you mean to me.

If this thing works out,

I'll make sure you get

lots of trip to New York.

No, that won't be

so impossible

if you replace me

as senior partner

here in Paris.

What?

Mm-hmm.

I'm putting your name before

the executive committee.

Of course, it's not

a fait accompli.

You still have to keep

your little nose clean

and suck up

to old man Chase,

but I think

you're going to get it.

I think you're

going to get it.

No. Maybe the direct approach.

I'm a man, Linda.

You're woman.

Let's eat.

Yeah. Why not?

Let's try...

Baby.

I'm not home right now,

but I'll call you back.

Next!

Thank you.

That's enough.

Don't you want me

to read or something?

Thank you.

It's enough, Karen.

Actually, it's Kate.

Um, can I ask

what's wrong?

You look too American.

"Too American"?

For Our Town?

Well, I have my vision,

you know?

You can take

your vision and...

Asshole!

So?

Why didn't I listen

to my father and

become an accountant?

You didn't

do well, huh?

What is it with me?

I don't have any career.

No money, no love life.

Yeah, but you

got spunk, kid.

Come on.

Your favorite clown

will buy you coffee.

Hmm? Come on.

Hey, Kate.

Susan. Hi.

How you doin'?

Fine. Sid sent me

on another audition,

and I got the part.

Wow. That's great.

Another commercial?

No. A play.

Wow.

Le Misanthrope.

In the Molière

Festival.

Yep. Who

is this Molière

dude, anyhow?

I gotta go.

Kate, where

are you going?

To change my life.

Taxi!

Hi.

Hello.

As usual.

Yeah.

No starch. Okay?

And shirts folded.

You got

the other shirts?

Yeah.

Thank you.

It's a nice job.

If you don't like it,

take your business

elsewhere.

Right. Uh,

I'll see you Thursday.

Yeah.

And, uh,

vive la France.

Oh...

Pardon.

Excusez-moi.

No, no, no.

It was my fault.

Bye.

Oh. Excuse me.

I think, um,

you have my ticket

by mistake.

Oh.

Oh, "no starch."

A woman after

my own heart.

Well, bye.

Bye.

Do you come here

often?

How typical, right?

Don't worry.

I'm not trying

to pick you up

or anything.

It's just,

when I heard you

speak English,

sometimes I get

so starved to speak

in my mother tongue.

Well, not tongue.

I never say "tongue."

I don't know

what's come over me.

I think I've been

in France too long.

I am sorry. I--

I must seem real dumb.

Um...

I'm outta your life.

Thanks for

the English fix.

No. No, no. Wait.

It wasn't that dumb.

Hey, look.

How about--

How about I buy you

a cup of coffee?

Speak to you some more

of your own language.

There's a little place

I know around the corner.

Sophie's?

You know it.

Go there

all the time.

Well.

Hey. Hey.

How'd you know I'm

not an ax murderer?

Ax murderers don't

have eyes like yours.

Oh. I'm--

I'm John.

Kate.

Hello.

So, after four cups

of coffee,

we have a date

on Friday.

Well, you're gonna

have to work fast, so I

brought you some stuff.

Vintage Looney Tunes.

He doesn't start

the day without it.

Gary Cooper films.

Marx Brothers.

And here's

some cookbooks

with his

favorite recipes

marked off.

Some catalogs

with some fashion

ideas.

Actual fashion itself.

Some books.

Particular

attention to Esmé

With Love and Squalor.

And some music.

Wayne Newton?

Yes. It was one

of the main contentions

of the divorce.

Oh. And here's

your first check.

And try to keep track

of your expenses.

And try to have

a good time.

You must've made

an outstanding

girl scout.

Oh.

Thanks.

Hello.

Hey.

Philippe. Huh?

No, No, No.

I haven't fallen off

the face of the earth.

Wait. Could you

hold on a second?

Hold on. Hold on.

Hello?

Hi.

No. I took a job.

A job?

What job?

You remember the audition

I had that I said I didn't

have that wasn't a job?

Is this English?

I took that job.

What are you

talking about?

Oh...look,

I really gotta go.

I'm-- I'm really late.

For what?

Um-- For--

You're not listening

to me. My job.

Right. The one

that wasn't a job.

Right. It's complicated.

Just--

Obviously. When

can I see you?

Soon.

Is that tomorrow?

Is it next week?

Soon. Soon.

I promise, okay?

I really love you.

Take care, and I'll

talk to you soon.

I promise,

I promise.

Why can't I find

two that match?

Uhh.

You think

she'll notice?

Yeah.

She'll notice.

Hey, they match. Look.

Actually match.

Okay. Now.

I'm not

gonna be late.

So...I don't want

to come home

and find you

whoopin' it up

with all the dogs

in the neighborhood,

okay?

And as you may

or may not remember,

I always

take measurements

of the scotch

and the gin...

and the other drinks.

So I'll know

if you've been having

a little,

quiet sookeroonie.

Okay?

Right. See you later,

big boy. All right?

And so I moved

in 1985

when, uh, my wife...

...when my ex-wife

transferred.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's very nice.

Thank you.

So.

You decided

to stay.

Yeah.

For the time being.

Not that I don't

get homesick for

the good old U.S. of A.

Hey. Do you know

what I miss the most?

Breakfast.

I know what you mean.

I mean...

bacon and eggs.

Coffee.

Uh, real coffee.

I mean, not the rot gut

they serve over here.

Do you remember

that coffee shop

in Edinburgh?

Uh, Rosie's.

Oh, God, yeah.

God, I haven't thought

of that place in years.

It was the worst, right?

Oh, hi, Linda.

It's Frank. Um...

I wanted to--

to see if you were okay,

and, uh--

Well, never mind.

Just thinking

about you. Bye.

Linda? Jim.

I-- I can't make it

tonight, baby.

I got a mountain

of work to get through.

I'll see you Monday.

Big, big kiss.

So, um, what--

what's your ex-wife like?

Um...

Like an ex-wife.

And how about you?

What does Kate Williams

do for a living?

I-- I work

for a caterer.

You moved all the way to Paris

to be a waitress?

Well, not exactly. No.

When I was about 15,

I saw this movie--

Sabrina with

Audrey Hepburn.

And-- You know, the one

where she comes to Paris

to become a chef?

And goes home and

marries Humphrey Bogart.

Anyway, I-- I've--

I've always wanted to--

To marry Humphrey Bogart.

No, be Audrey Hepburn.

Oh.

The cooking

Audrey Hepburn.

Like in the film.

The chef.

So I-- I took classes

at the Cordon Bleu.

And started working

for a caterer.

Among other

things.

Thank you.

Je peux vous encaisser?

J'ai fini mon service.

Hey. You know, I bet

if you woke him up

in the middle of the night

and surprised him,

he'd talk just

like you and me.

And he's undercharged us.

Lucky us.

I'll leave the difference.

Well, you're honest.

Mm-hmm.

Me, George Washington,

and Abraham Lincoln.

Sticklers for the truth.

Oh. Thank God

you're not an actress.

You'd shoot me.

Sorry.

Well, uh,

I had fun tonight.

Me, too.

Thanks.

Oh.

Oh. Can I--

Sorry.

Oh.

Uh...

Oh.

What?

It's later

than I thought.

Oh, yeah. Uh...

I should go.

Well, uh...

I'll see you. Okay?

All right. Bye.

Bye.

John.

Yeah?

I really did have

a good time tonight.

Thanks.

Do you like

Gary Cooper?

He's only

the greatest actor

who ever lived.

Well, they're showing

High Noon and Good Sam

up the street on Sunday.

Do you want to go?

With me, I mean.

Yeah. I'll

pick you up at 7.

Great. It's a date.

It's a date.

Have a date.

Okay.

Bye.

Okay, bye.

You were right.

He jumped at

the Gary Cooper offer.

And?

And other than Good Sam

being kinda mediocre...

...we had a good time.

Good. I brought you

some more material.

You know,

favorite shampoo,

favorite memory,

childhood pets,

things like that.

When do you

see him again?

Today. We're

having lunch.

At the Bistro

Eustache?

You really do know him.

He's not

such a bad guy.

Ow. What

are you doing?

Futzing. Anyway,

I never said he

was Charles Manson.

You kinda like him,

don't you?

I think he's nice.

Perfect.

Hi. Uh, I need

to see Mrs. Michaels.

All right?

Yes. Sign, please.

Okay. Come on.

Hey. Mister.

Yeah.

What?

Jeez.

John's here.

What?

Out there.

Outside in the hall.

Hide!

No. I'm gonna leave.

John.

What a pleasant surprise.

Yeah. It's good

to see you, too,

Linda.

Look, um,

I'd rather not

be doing this,

but my apartment's

being painted.

I wondered if

you'd look after Max

for a couple of days.

Well, how nice of you

to share him only when

it's convenient for you.

I knew this

was a bad idea.

Come on, Max.

No, no, no. Wait.

He's my dog, too.

I'll take him.

This yours?

Oh. It's from a meeting.

A meeting.

So. Sprucing up

the old bachelor pad?

Have you

met someone?

That's none

of your business.

Well, it is when

I'm footing the bill.

I'll just say

good-bye to Max.

Uh, no. I'll--

I'll tell him

you said good-bye.

Okay. Bye, guy.

Hang tough.

I'll pick him up

Wednesday. Okay?

Ruth.

Yes?

Could you get a runner

to take Max back

to my apartment?

Here are the keys.

Okay.

Come on, boy.

Come on.

That was dignified.

Are you

all right?

Fine.

I'll call you.

Bye.

Got any

lunch plans?

Walk with me.

I had to see you.

Sometimes I get

these urges.

Did you have

a good weekend?

Oh, fine.

You know. I--

Are you upset

about Friday?

I left a message

on your machine.

I had to bail out

that associate,

that new associate--

Scott-- Francine Scott.

She was about to blow

the Mirabeau merger.

What was she merging?

Painting and sculpture?

I saw you Friday

at the art opening.

Why do you

lie to me?

I didn't want

to hurt your feelings.

I completely forgot

about that opening.

Hurt my feelings?

You spent an evening

with your wife

like you were

supposed to.

What hurts

is that you lied.

Ahh. Starting to sound

like a bad movie.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no,

no, no.

It's me who

should be apologizing.

You know how special

you are to me.

Do I?

Yeah.

You're intelligent.

You're attractive.

You're funny.

That's beautiful.

What you're saying

is very nice,

but that bracelet.

Isn't it gorgeous?

Damn it.

You beat me

to the punch.

I was wanting

to buy you a present,

and you've already

picked it out.

What? But that must

cost a fortune.

Let's go see.

Well, I suppose

it doesn't cost

anything

to try it on.

Not a franc.

Oh, yeah.

I always expect

this place to smell

like a stable.

Merci.

When I come here,

I want to get

a saddle

and boots

and stuff.

I didn't know

you could

ride horses.

Well, I can't.

Pretty good

in the saddle,

though.

Oh, quit that,

or I'll get

a riding crop.

Je peux

vous aider?

We'd like to see

that gold-and-

diamond bracelet

in the window.

Of course.

It is one of our

most beautiful pieces.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Jim?

Mary.

Linda.

There you are,

darling.

Oh.

I think

we met last year

at the Dupre's

Christmas party.

You remember, darling.

He came with, uh...

Lee Cromwell.

Oh, of course.

Yeah.

Linda, they're wrapping

the earrings now.

Um, we're

just picking out

a birthday gift

for my sister.

Mary,

I don't think you've

met Ms. Michaels,

a rising new star

at the firm.

Linda, this

is my wife Mary.

How do you do?

Nice to meet you.

Quite a coincidence,

us running

into each other.

I'll say so.

Jim, what are

you doing here?

Uh, you're going

to ruin the surprise.

Oh.

Should we tell her,

Linda?

Oh, might as well.

Now, don't say

I didn't warn you.

When I saw Linda

here with Frank,

I kidnapped her

for a moment

to get her womanly

opinion on something.

For you.

Oh!

Superb!

Oh,

it's beautiful!

Well, thank you,

darling.

And thank you

for your help.

Don't mention it.

Linda,

we should be

going now.

It was nice

seeing you

again.

Yes. Well, I'll see you

back at the office.

Mmm.

Count on it.

We'll take it.

You owe me one,

my dear.

Frank, do me a favor.

Go fly a kite.

You got great weather

for it.

Sorry I'm-- Oh!

Sorry I'm late.

There's no problem.

You hungry?

Starved. Oh,

I lost my button.

Sh-- Damn.

Hey, look, um--

I'll get your button.

That's all right.

Ah.

Uh, may I keep it

for luck?

Look, uh,

I'd have had you

over to my apartment,

only, uh...

It's being painted?

How'd you know?

Just a lucky guess.

You're very good at that.

Sister, someone

ought to take you

to the race track.

Look, um, what are

you doing tomorrow?

Why? Want to take me

to the race track?

No. There's this,

uh, art exhibit

that, uh, I've been--

Oh, the Balthus?

What are you,

a mind reader?

No. It's

no great mystery.

It's-- There are ads for it

all over the city.

No.

No. No, it's more.

Audrey Hepburn's

got nothing on you.

I bet you say that

to all the girls.

Mm-hmm.

Except Audrey Hepburn.

So. Tell me

your new job.

Well...

I'm acting.

In what?

Well...

not exactly "in."

More "as."

As what?

Well, um,

I'm sort of--

I'm sort of

playing myself.

But not really.

Then what are

you really doing?

What am I

really doing?

I don't know!

Guess I asked

the wrong question.

Lee!

I'm making a mess

out of my life.

And that's the problem.

It's not really

my life!

It's a life

Linda created.

And that's

the funny part,

because even though

I'm her perfect woman,

it's more my life

than hers.

I think we lost

something here

in the translation.

Calm down.

Okay.

Okay, listen.

Why don't we start

from the beginning.

I guess it was that day

we ran into Susan Marks.

You know, the actress?

Right.

Anyway,

a few days earlier,

my agent sent me

to see this woman.

Linda Michaels.

And she has

this crazy idea

about getting back

at her ex-husband

so she wouldn't

have to pay him

alimony.

She wanted to hire

the perfect woman

so he'd fall in love,

marry her, and...

she wouldn't have to

pay him anymore.

Over the last

few weeks,

John and I have

been seeing

each other.

I think I'm

his perfect woman.

You should be

committed.

I know.

It's not funny.

It's hilarious.

It is not.

I knew you were

a good actress,

but this guy

must be an idiot.

He is not!

He is!

He's not!

Uh-huh!

The lady does

protest too much.

This is only

a job, isn't it?

Of course it's a job.

It's the best damn job

I ever had.

You're falling

in love with him.

Oh, God. At first

I didn't want

to feel anything.

I didn't like him, and--

Now I don't know

what to do.

Good luck.

Mmm.

Excuse me.

Come on in,

Linda.

Linda, this is

Francine Scott.

She been working

on the Mirabeau

merger.

Linda Michaels.

I've heard

a lot about you.

Well, I'm sure

none of the rumors

are true.

I only hope

I can live up

to your reputation.

Speaking of your

reputation,

Ms. Michaels and I

have a meeting

with Mr. Chase.

Oh.

We can finish

this later.

Sure.

Good luck.

Well, uh,

let's go beard

the lion

in his den.

You beard him.

I'll draw in

one of

those little

mustaches.

Oh, Michaels.

Yes, sir. And,

uh, may I say

after four years

with the firm,

what a

pleasure

it is--

Can it.

I've heard

it all before.

Robert, I want

to emphasize

again what an asset

Linda has been

to this firm.

Her understanding

of international law--

Are you an asset?

I'd like to think so,

sir, yes.

Aren't you sure?

Why, Jim here has been

singing your praises for weeks.

He says you've, uh,

blossomed this last year.

Isn't that so, Jim?

Have you blossomed,

Mrs. Michaels?

I work hard

and do my job well.

I don't think blossoming

is quite my style.

Oh, good.

I'm allergic to flowers.

So, uh,

you think you're qualified

to replace Jim

as a senior partner?

I do.

Yes, I am qualified.

You don't have much of a profile

of the rest of the continent.

Well, I realize

that I'll have to

put myself out there more.

As a junior partner,

that's been quite difficult.

At your age, I had more

press on me than de Gaulle.

Well, I'll do what I can, sir.

Are you married?

Oh, yes. I've heard of

the unfortunate divorce

of yours.

Planning to remarry

and have kids?

With all due respect, sir,

I fail to see what

my personal life has to do

with my professional ability.

Mmm.

You women want it all.

Mm-hmm.

You rush to get a career

and then shut down

the minute you decide

to have a kid.

It's all hurry up and wait

with you women.

Must be hormonal.

Mr. Chase, I--

Robert, I--

Oh, shut up.

I know I'm a horse's ass,

but I'm the horse's ass

running this place.

I only want you to think about

what this senior partnership

might cost you,

Mrs. Michaels.

I'd hate for you

to waste our time

climbing up

the corporate ladder

only to decide you don't

like the view up there.

I'm sorry, sir,

but I just don't think that--

Mm-hmm.

Chase. Robert Chase.

What, are you waiting

for a door prize?

What's with you?

What's with me?

How could you?

How could you compromise me

in that way?

I don't know what

you're talking about.

You told him--

God, it was sickening--

I blossomed!

I bet you and Chase

had a good laugh

talking about our-- our--

I don't know what you call it,

but it's certainly

not a relationship.

Hold on there!

Hold on right there!

First of all,

I'm not stupid enough to admit

seeing someone from the office.

And secondly,

I would never--

Jeopardize

your political career?

See how good I am

at filling in blanks?

Including the one

in your marriage.

Speaking of which,

how did Mary like her bracelet?

Uh...

I'm going to talk to you

when you're more rational.

I haven't been

this rational in months.

Linda, we've both been under

a great deal of pressure lately.

With this senate thing,

I haven't been paying you

enough attention.

This is not about

attention and pressure.

This is about

fooling ourselves.

You know how special

you are to me.

Special you are to me.

Yes, you've told me

about 100 times.

Look, I think we should

just stop this entire thing.

Oh...

Oh, come on now.

Think about what you're saying.

I have.

Linda, you're so busy running

you forget where you're going.

Ooh. Ooh, that's--

that's very beautiful.

Do you mind if I use that

when I have the time

to take up embroidery?

Why don't you

tell him...everything?

I can't.

He has this thing

about being honest.

A boy scout, huh?

And what if

he doesn't like me?

The real me?

You're so blind sometimes.

Don't you know that

beneath this whole charade

is the real Kate Williams?

That's who John

fell in love with.

With you.

I'm usually good

at soufflé.

This week we had casserole

in school,

and I must've got them

muddled or something.

Well, um, let's taste it.

Let's give it a chance.

Come on.

Ooh.

Mmm!

Gross!

Yuck! I'm sorry.

I should've made casserole.

No. Look, that would be

like doing homework, okay?

But don't panic.

We got salad.

We got bread.

We could make garlic bread.

Okay? Maybe not garlic.

Okay, look, um,

I'll do this.

You cook all day long, okay?

Consider yourself off duty.

All right?

You think it's too much?

No. The blue works for me.

Oh, yeah?

Now I know how

Jacques Cousteau feels.

Everyone's a critic, right?

Do you have

any place mats?

I'll set the counter.

Oh, yeah. They're in

one of those boxes over there.

Ow! Oh!

Oh, no. Not that one.

No. Come on.

"Bad poetry from 1973."

I was, like,

dawdling along...

"Yes, I've never seen anybody

tug and slug in a phone before."

...on a toilet seat.

What else is in here?

That's genius.

A child prodigy, huh?

What's--

A play?

"A play by Johnny White."

It's a play, yes.

A tentative step to...

Hmm.

What are you doing?

I'm taking it home.

I want to see

what you're made out of.

Okay, now,

the dinner's in the oven.

We've got 45 minutes to kill.

What do you want to do?

Sweet Revenge (1990) - full transcript