Sweet November (1968) - full transcript

Woman: Well, today
we're taking test three,

the one in the middle...

Psst.

Psst.

How fast do you go
in a falling-rock zone?

Come on, please.
How fast?

Circle the one

that you think is
the right one, corresponding...

And so on...

Psst!

Psst.



Uh, how fast do you go
when a deer is crossing?

Shh.

Oh, I don't want
to hit a deer.

[ English accent ]
Madam, I must ask you

to stop interrupting --

you back there.
You in the third seat.

Yes. Bring your test paper
up here.

Actually, I've finished.

Yes. You're setting
a poor example.

Why did you do that?

You don't think
I was cheating.

Fortunately, we're prepared
for the likes of you.

We have four different
examinations.

You'll have to come back
for the next session -- 1:00.



I'm a businessman.
I have a --

that will be all.

You're disturbing
the, uh, honest people.

Digby, please.
This is Mr. Blake.

Diggers? Look,
I've gotten hung up here.

No, I did not fail the test.
I was caught cheating.

Never mind.
Listen to me closely.

I want you to start
that 2:00 meeting without me.

Yeah, and tell Mason

to order those new cartons
with lots of extra wax

because of the new
shipping regulation, okay?

At 2:45, I want you
to call mccleglin

and set up a meeting
for 5:30, okay?

Tell him
to bring the stock samples

as well as the box weight,
you got it? Mm-hmm. Check.

Check with Chicago
about the ling-- oh, no.

If there's any spoilage,
call Anderson.

Listen, diggers,

I'll see you about 3:00,
okay? Bye. Good.

Look, I'm really --
I'm very sorry.

[ Chuckles ]

Go hit a deer, will you?

I probably will

because you didn't
give me the answer.

If it's any consolation
to you, everybody cheats.

You just happened
to get caught.

Please don't feel you
have to dog my footsteps

for the rest of my life.

Do you always get so upset
by little things?

Is there a place
I can get some food?

I have a 1:00 exam.

Yes, I know --
I know a great place,

and I will
take you there myself.

Just point the direction.

No, please.
Please, allow me.

It's the least I can do.
Come. Come with me.

How do you like yours --

uh, Sauerkraut,
mus-mustard, or both?

Just mustard, please.

One with just mustard,

one with Sauerkraut
and mustard,

and put his Sauerkraut
on mine.

We're entitled.

Here, here.

No, no. Don't do that.
Please, be my guest.

After all,
it's the least I can do.

Nonsense, I'll pay.

Good.

We can sit over here.

Uh, don't let me
keep you.

No, it's all right.

Uh, this is
on my way home.

Really?

I live right across that
bridge -- Brooklyn heights.

Oh, that's very nice.

Is that your real accent,

or do you affect that
because you're pompous?

It's my own
pompous accent.

May I assume
you're English?

If you like.

And you want to drive
in america,

is that it?

Good thinking.

Well...

We drive...On the right
side in this country.

I've been in america
for three years.

Ah, well,
then you should know that.

I do know it.

Mm.

I already drive.
My license expired.

Don't feed the pigeons.

I beg your pardon?

I said don't feed
the pigeons your roll.

Do you know what I carry?

I always carry...
Ry krisps.

Pigeons prefer
rye krisps...

5 to 1.

They are tasty
and they are crunchy

and they are very low
in caloric content.

Do you know what?

I will move down to
the other end of the bench,

and then we'll both
feed the pigeons,

and then we'll see
who gets the most pigeons.

All right?

All right. Excuse me.

Oh, look there.

You have mustard
on your sleeve.

I thought the English
were very neat,

but you eat
like a Russian.

I'm lucky it's mustard.

Borscht stains.

No, no, no, please.
You've plenty of time.

It's -- it's not 1:00 yet.

Uh, I'm Sara Deever --

23 years old in April.

I'm Charles Blake.

What do you do?

I have my own company.

Ah, good, good.

What do you do?

We manufacture boxes.

Oh, that's -- [ Laughs ]

No, I'm sorry,

but, I mean,
that's got to be

the silliest thing
I ever heard.

All boxes --
all boxes are the same.

All boxes have...Six sides.

Seriously...how long
can you stay in business

if all you do
is manufacture

the same old
6-sided boxes?

A long time.

Ah.

Well, suppose
somebody comes along

and manufactures 7-sided
boxes for the same price

that you are manufacturing
6-sided boxes.

Aha. What happens then?

They'll clap a net
over him.

Do you hire
the handicapped?

Hmm?

I said, "do you hire
the handicapped?"

Well, I don't go
out of my way to.

What I mean is
that I have many employees

and, uh...

I like to think
that at least one of them

is seriously
handicapped, okay?

Do you have any tattoos?

None that occur to me
offhand.

None of, uh,
eagles grabbing lightning

or snakes
or a...Battleship?

No, I'm not big enough
for a battleship.

The best I could hope for
would be a gunboat.

None of arrows
piercing hearts

with your mother's name
written on it

or maybe your wife's?

I'm not married, and I don't
have any tattoos.

It's very nice.
Nice -- very neat.

Do you see?

Do you see that?

That's proof positive.

Pigeons prefer ry krisps
5 to 1.

Oh, s-say,
do you need an apartment?

I-I'm showing a little
dandy tomorrow at noon.

Thank you, I have
a very nice apartment.

Well, I think -- I think
you will like this one.

It has a fireplace.
I love fireplaces.

I don't need an apartment.

I think
the least you could do

is come have a look.

Here is the address.

Please, just don't have
such a closed mind.

I don't need an apartment.

It's a very nice
neighborhood --

very few burglaries,

and there has not been
a rape there for seven years.

Maybe things will pick up
in the spring.

[ Alarm buzzing ]

Uh-oh,
there must be a fire.

No, it's my watch.

Well, it's time
for my test.

Well, you certainly don't
want to miss that, do you?

I didn't want to miss it
the first time.

Ah.

Well, it's, uh,
it's been...Interesting.

Thank you, Charles.

I think you've been
very interesting, too.

Come on, pigie.
Come on, pigie.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Come on.

And don't let them
catch you cheating.

They can be very hard
on you there, you know?

Oh, there you are.
Come on, come on.

Now, by February,
that prototype carton

for international mills
should be here.

Any change in that,
Armstrong?

Not as of yesterday.

Call the factory
and double-check it for me.

All right,
I guess that's it.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Thank you, sir.

Diggers?

On the, uh,

on that cereal contract,

I'd like to see the crest
either olive or maroon.

I like maroon.

Good, good, good --
greater visibility.

Woman: Personnel.

Do we hire
the handicapped?

I arrange for the maintenance
of all utilities --

the electricity,
the plumbing, et cetera.

I also visit the premises
once a month by appointment,

to collect rent
and see that you are

in no way defacing
the property therein.

When I first came here
from Indianapolis,

I took a 3-year lease

on a silly, little
westside apartment

which I grew to hate
almost immediately,

but Mrs. Furman loved it.

I still hold the lease,
still pay the rent,

but Mrs. Furman
pays me more

than I pay the landlord.

In a short time,

I had two other apartments
I handled the same way.

Do you have any idea

how many apartments
I have today?

396?

No, eight --
eight such apartments

scattered all over
the city.

I can fix any clogged drain
better than any plumber.

Oh, that's sweet.

I use coffee grounds --
Espresso -- that's my secret.

Son of a gun.

As a matter of actual fact,
I do all the handiwork.

I get $5 a call,

and I do television sets
for $6 plus parts.

Oh, I always carry
bicycle tape.

It's very impressive.

Aren't you impressed
by bicycle tape?

Who, me?

Oh, I'm bowled over
by a band-aid.

Oh, look.
Do you see this?

Yeah.

It's a stick
with a bubble in it. Yes.

It tells
when things aren't level.

It's very good for when
I am not sure what to do.

See, I just, uh --
I hold it up,

and I le--
I let that bubble --

I let it move around...
Like that,

and then...It practically,
uh, stupefies people.

Oh, tsk.

Oh, there you are.

What?

What is it?

The loop.

There's an expert.

When you have
striped overalls

and a loop on the side
like that, that's it.

That's the whole show.

That's an expert --
a master handyman.

You know what you can hang
in that loop?

Anything -- a hammer,
a chisel, a ruler, a stick.

It simply does not matter
as long as you have a loop.

That's it.

You know, I think you'll
have a loop one day.

Do you really?
Do you think that?

I'm sure of it.
You'll work your way up.

You'll start with drains
and then sewers and --

[ alarm buzzing ]

Oh, I got to go.
The bell tolls for me.

Listen, uh,
can I see you sometime --

dinner, dancing,
a night out on the town?

Yes, but it cannot be
anything romantic.

It can't?

No, that's absolutely
out of the question.

Nothing romantic?

No.

Well, how about, uh --
how about tomorrow night?

We can go to the "signposts
of the '70s" exhibition --

"revolutionary ideas
and developments

"that will be commonplace
on the earth, the moon,

and the other planets
within our lifetime."

8:30 P.M., Nichols hall.

Oh, fine.
Uh, I'll meet you there.

[ No audio ]

This is where I live.

It's very nice.

Very nice. I like it.

Is it up for rent?

No. No, it's not.
I'm sorry.

Say, would you like a glass
of chocolate milk with me?

Uh, no.
Thank you very much.

Well, suppose I make you
a cup of tea. How's that?

Oh, that should
hit the spot.

[ Humming ]

Very realistic.

You're very good
with fruit.

Oh. So is del monte.

Good lord.

What's the matter?

This fruit is all rotten.

It's the only kind
that I use.

I like to refer to it
as "bruised."

I don't mind the bruises.
It's the open wounds.

That's, uh,
that's quite a rig.

Uh-huh. Well, uh,
go on up, Charlie.

May I?

Please.

Are you -- are you sure
about these stairs?

They look
a little flimsy to me.

I prefer them flimsy.

Hmm. Then you should be
very happy.

[ Chuckles ]

I have this thing
about high places.

I'm afraid
I'll get killed.

This, uh, this is
my hall of archives.

Oh.

This is where I keep

all of my valuable documents
and my leases.

Oh.

Oh, Charlie.

Charlie, please,
come sit down.

Whoa!

Oh, Charlie.

[ Laughs ]

It's quite a lot
of heavy stuff

on one small platform,
don't you think?

No. No, no, no.

I had the feigus brothers
up here to test it.

They're butchers.

They weigh 250 pounds
apiece.

That's 500 pounds
of feigus brothers.

Mm.

And I only had
that one cracked board.

Which one?

Sara?

Can't hold the vegetarian
rally until next month.

Going to leave
the posters here.

Okay.

Oh, hey --

I went by
lastasa's fruit stand.

They have a special sale
on overripe bananas.

Brought you some.

Sara: Thank you.

Who was that?

Oh, Alonzo.

He heads the vegetarian
movement in this district.

He got over 100 votes
in the last election.

None from the feigus
brothers, I'll wager.

He's a wonderful person,
really,

but rather intense.

Parsley will do that
to a person.

Oh, yes --
any sort of green.

All he eats is vegetables,
but he looks marvelous.

Do you know
how old he is?

396?

53.

53.

He's a sign painter
by profession.

Yes, he paints, like,
"don't" signs,

like, uh,
"don't walk on the grass,"

"don't hang around
and do nothing,"

"don't talk rotten
to a cop" -- like that.

Sara...

That's Richard.

Sara --

now, now, Richard --

calm, rational.

Sara, we must discuss this

in a calm
and rational way.

There's nothing
to discuss.

Who's that up there
with you?

You're, uh, kind of
jumping your month,

aren't you, fella?

I beg your pardon?

I ought
to knock your teeth out.

I'm sorry
you feel that way.

Sara...

What do you mean
by taking him in?

I'm still on the premises!
It's still October!

Could you be angry
down there?

This platform was only made
for two feigus brothers.

I'm not talking to you.

Sara,
I want to talk to you.

Look, I'll distribute
the weight.

You go on chatting.
You can fill me in later.

Let's talk it over.

Don't force me
to make my exit this way.

Oh, you remember
our agreement?

Then that terrible tantrum
with the feigus brothers!

They had their fat
fingers on the scales --

I have packed your bag.

All right, Sara.

If that's the way
you want it, I'll go.

That's the way
I want it.

All right, Sara.
I just think --

I just think it wasn't
exactly fair of you

to bring my successor in

while my belongings
are still on the premises!

I'm sorry.

But...it's over,

so, uh,
what's the difference?

Ended.

Fini.

Kaput.

So I'll go.

What else can I say?

Say you'll go.

I'll go, I'll go!

Good! Good!

Sara: Richard, you may take
your Clay model with you.

[ Door closes ]

Sara...

What in the world
goes on here?

Who is he?

Richard.

Mm-hmm?

Richard.

Yes, uh, "Richard slavin.
Age 30. October.

"Was afflicted
with extreme timidity

"upon his arrival.

"Richard is now
quite courageous,

but in curing his cowardice,
I developed his temper."

His month is about up,
anyway.

It's practically
the end of October.

How come I hardly ever
understand you?

Oh, there were others.

Do you want to know
about them?

You keep a file?

I mean,
that is a file, right?

Oh, yes.

Yes, this is of a highly
confidential nature.

I won't tell you details,
just generalities.

All right?

Fine.

Norton -- Norton white.

"Norton white. Aged 27.
September."

Norton was very conservative
politically.

He couldn't even see
the value in foreign aid.

Do you know

that he would not even
spend money in New Jersey?

It's private.

It's private.

Oh, Norton, that's --

he's quite liberal now.

What was
the "oh, Norton" for?

"Spergeon lemaster.

Age 32. July."

He had a --

wait a minute.
What happened to August?

There was no August.

Funny, I could have
sworn there was.

Clem.

"Clem batchman.
Age 25. April."

Do you know,
when I first met clem,

he was hiding out
in college?

He had a girlfriend.

Now, he had a girlfriend
in Brooklyn,

but he was afraid
to get married,

so he stayed on
two extra years at Columbia

just to think --
just to think life over.

After, uh,
one month with me,

he quit Columbia.

Son of a gun.

But he entered
Cornell.

Oh.

I don't know...About clem,
but I am hopeful.

And so it goes --

timid, shy, aggressive --

each man, uh,
with a different problem.

"Each man
with a different problem"?

I have
a special therapy program.

I take to my side,
for no longer than a month,

a man with a problem.

He comes here in need
and leaves, I hope,

with some sort
of fulfillment.

But time limits -- I mean,
how do you figure that out?

Well, there had to be
a beginning and an end

that could not be disputed.

A year was too long,
a week was too short.

A month seemed
just the right size.

I want you to know
that I resent

your looking down
your nose at me.

I'm not. I just --

I've upset you.

You have not upset me.

It's absurd, that's all --
just absurd. The idea --

that you have
a problem? Yes.

What's my problem?

I don't know.

[ Tea kettle whistles ]

Excuse me.

An obsession with time

and that alarm watch --

hurry, hurry, ding, ding.
Hurry, hurry, ding.

[ Chuckles ]

"Hurry, hurry, ding, ding."
Is that my problem?

"Hurry, hurry, ding, ding"?

No. No.

That's just a symptom --

a manifestation.

I don't know.

You see, I can't --
I can't quite nail it.

I think it has to do with
your working so hard --

rushing through life.

It's costing you dearly.

Like, for example,
you didn't want Sauerkraut.

Now, I admit that
that's not the whole answer.

The "hurry, hurry,
ding, ding"?

Well,
since you're so honest

about facing up to it,
yes.

The result is,

in spite of your obvious
attempts at witticisms,

the result is, uh,
you're kind of a blur.

I just --
I can't quite see you.

But you can hear me, right?
"Hurry, hurry"...

"Ding, ding." Yes.

Well, at least
we're onto something.

Didn't you ever want to do
anything with your life

besides make boxes?

Yeah, well,
I wanted to be a fireman.

A pirate -- I wanted
to be a pirate once.

A crusading
newspaper publisher.

I, uh, I wanted
to write poetry.

You satisfied?

I wanted to be a poet.

Good. Oh, good.
What kind?

Blank verse, okay?

That's the kind
that doesn't rhyme.

You certainly chose
the easiest road.

If you haven't tried it,
don't knock it.

I mean,
it's not that easy.

All you do
is avoid rhymes

and call it a poem.

No, Charlie, no.

Yeah, but it has
to have meter, rhythm.

I mean, blank verse
can be very difficult.

Poetry doesn't
have to rhyme, Sara.

Do you take cream
and sugar?

No, thank you.

Shakespeare didn't
deal in rhyme.

He dealt in meter --

iambic pentameter.

Oh, the hell with it.

Ah! And you call yourself
a poet?

The hell with it
with a hey, nonny, nonny.

Why did you give it up?

I grew up, that's why.
I became a man.

You became a box.

It's been a family business
for over 80 years.

My father made it one of
the most successful concerns

in the British empire.

I intend to do
the same thing in america.

It may take a little time.

Hurry, hurry, ding, ding,
hurry, hurry, ding, ding.

You know,
I really don't understand

what it is about you

that makes you feel
so damn superior.

I think
you're worth saving.

Thank you.

What are you doing
next month?

Next month?

November.

Yes, yes, November.
Of course.

What are you doing
next month?

Well, why --
why do you ask?

Would you like to be
my November?

Oh, sure.

Okay.

I mean, what the heck?

Will you be able
to move in with me?

Oh, I don't see why not.
I mean, after all --

will you write me poems?

I would like that,
you know.

I think
you should be a poet.

Oh.

Will you be able to leave
when December comes?

I guess
that won't be too easy.

Well, the answer to that
must be "yes."

Oh, yes.

Shake.

Of course,
you understand

it is still officially
Richard's month,

and even though
he's not on the premises,

I still cannot give
any part of his month

to anybody else.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I understand.

All right.

Oh, uh, you must report
at midnight,

the last night
of the outgoing month,

the first morning
of the incoming month.

Right.

On the stroke of midnight,
you must wake me gently.

Right.

Now, I will give you
the key to November.

You must return it
at the end of the month.

And I hope that you won't
have a duplicate made,

because it won't fit
in December.

I should also like
to point out to you

that November
has only 30 days.

Well, that's the luck
of the draw.

I must ask you
to leave now, Charles,

and please,
I also must ask you

to try not to call me.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Fine. Now, do you remember
how to get back here?

Yes, I remember.

All right.

Good night.

Good night.

I think November will be
a very sweet month.

Oh, good.

Charles?

Sam naylor
from toliver testing.

Oh, naylor,
come in, come in.

What do we have?

They've run the consumer tests
as to preference.

The public prefers
this one.

Easy to understand

since the gold foil
is so prominent.

Agency feels this one
stays closer to the theme.

Actually, the difference
in total score is so minute,

it's quite possible
to satisfy

both the agency
and the public.

All these boxes, uh --
they have six sides.

Correct. Right.

What happens when somebody
comes up with a 7-sided box?

Offhand, I would say
it would tip over.

I'll have to
research that.

What's your point?

My point is that we keep making
the same old 6-sided box.

What about seven?

If we did a basic color
scheme, I don't see why not.

Blue would be very good
for seven!

Sam, why don't you
take these into my office,

and I'll be in
in a little while.

Certainly.

We're not really
that far apart.

Do you understand him?

Hmm? No. That's why
he's so valuable.

Your concentration
dropped out.

What's wrong?

It's, uh, it's that
merger in Toronto.

I thought
that cooled off.

Yeah, it got hot again.

They're sending over
an expert from Europe

to meet with me.

Very good.

Anyway, they want me up
in Toronto for a meeting.

Great.
How long will it last?

A month.

That's what
they've requested.

All I really need
is a week or so.

Yes...about a week
should do it nicely.

Charles, the Wellington
meeting's coming up.

It's important
you be here.

Exactly.

That's why I want you
to send me a telegram

reminding me
of the meeting.

That way,
I can bow out gracefully.

Okay, where do I reach you
in Toronto?

No.

Uh, no, I don't want them
to know I'm there.

You see, some of them know,
but the others don't.

It's all supposed to be
very hush-hush.

Okay, where do
I reach you?

Brooklyn.

Brooklyn?

Brooklyn heights.

Yes, they've got branches
all over --

Toronto, Montreal,
winnipeg, Brooklyn heights.

It's a very big outfit.

Give me the address.
I'll send the telegram.

Righty-ho.

Want me to send the telegram
to the young lady's house?

Yes. Ha ha ha.

And you'll be back in time
for the Wellington meeting?

Uh, yes.

Very important meeting,
Charles.

Okay,
give me the address.

Yes. Digby?

Yes?

You're
a very discreet man.

Yes.

You're also
a bit of a smartass.

Yes? Who's that?

[ German accent ]
Miss Deever,

uh, allow me
to introduce myself.

My name is
Emile Von sattingtom --

Von sattingtom galleries --

and your door
was open, so --

yes, I was
just about to lock it.

Miss Deever,

the work of a very promising
young sculptor

has come to my attention.

Obviously, a man
on the brink of genius.

It won't work.

It'll work, it'll work!
All he needs, I feel,

is a little more time with
you here in your studio.

Oh, Richard.
Richard, it won't work.

It won't work.

[ Normal voice ]
Sara, listen to me.

Oh, aren't you
ashamed of yourself?

Sara, look, uh...

October's over.

It's gone.

Book me for November.

I'm sorry,
I already have a November.

April? August?

Book me
for next November, Sara.

Put me on standby,
like the airline,

just don't --

I didn't think
I'd get through to you.

Well...you were right.

I hope you'll remember me
fondly, Richard.

Sara...

With this night,

you have...
Broken my spirit.

Anger and me will never
join forces again, Sara.

This is the height
of anger for me --

haaah.

I am a whisper...

A hush...

A piece of soft cotton.

Goodbye, Richard.

Goodbye, Sara.

[ Clock chiming ]

[ Garbage cans rattle ]

I was just attacked
by a beard,

a violent little beard.

Oh, no, a piece
of soft cotton.

No, no, no, a --
a little hairy fist.

You didn't tell me
you kept a pet hairy fist.

Thank you.

Well, here we are.

Uh, I-I don't know.

I-I think we've gotten off
on the wrong foot somehow.

I -- it all feels
rather awkward.

Look, you were supposed
to be asleep.

I was supposed to climb
these cockamamie stairs

and wake you gently.

I took three dramamine
to help me do the job.

[ Sighs ]

Maybe it's your clothes.

What's wrong
with my clothes?

You look kind of Harvard.

I wonder, do you -- do you
have any sandals in there?

Sandals?

No. My order
doesn't wear sandals,

just the brown robe
with the hood.

Oh. Well, then, what --
what do you have in there?

Well, let's see,
shall we?

All right.

I'm sure
I brought my raincoat

in case
of inclement weather.

Ah. Uh-huh.

There it is -- raincoat.
Blue cashmere sweater --

oh, no. That's wrong.

You -- wrong. Right.

How about my green tweed
with the waistcoat?

It's wrong.

W-Wrong.
You don't like that.

Here we are --

my brown Norfolk jacket
with the cutaway --

ah, no, no,
that's wrong.

You hate that. Right.

I have some shirts,
underwear, ties.

I think we will have to
shop for you tomorrow.

What shall I do
with my bag?

Oh, I know. Why don't
I leave it by the door

so that you can
get rid of me quickly?

Well, that would be
just fine.

Oh, please.

Listen, uh, being huffy
won't solve anything.

We will have to work
very hard

to overcome
this initial rift.

Right.

However, getting these
antagonisms out of the way

right at the start
can be very healthy.

Very healthy.

So, uh, I don't like
your Cologne.

It smells like the main
floor of bloomingdale's.

That's what
it's called --

"main floor"
by bloomingdale's.

Are you being funny,
or are you being huffy?

No, my huff is over.

I'm happy to announce
my huff is over!

Well, then, you probably
would like to go to bed.

I would love that.

Good.

Would you throw down
the clothes you're wearing

and put on your pajamas,
please?

You know, I-I think
that I have some sandals.

Ahh.

Listen -- oh.

Would you like
your sandals

with the thong
between the toe,

or do you prefer
a strap over the instep?

Do you have any
with a plastic heel?

I don't know.
I don't think I do.

Then I'll take the thong
between my toes.

Oh.

Oh, aha!

You know, uh...

It is very important
to our relationship

that we're able to snap back
after things don't go right.

I have
a very hopeful feeling.

I think you're going
to turn out just fine.

We'll introduce you
around tomorrow, Charlie,

and then maybe
in a day or two,

uh, we can visit
some of my tenants,

and you can be
my assistant.

It's the 1st
of November, Charlie,

and there will never
be any regrets.

We'll have
fine times together --

fine times
with much maturing.

Sara?

Sara?

Sara?

[ Humming ]

Son of a gun.

"Charlie Blake."

Sara: Charlie Blake.
November. November 1st.

Charlie arrived last night,

suffering from
an advanced case

of "hurry, hurry, ding, ding"

manifested by a compulsion

to continually make
wisenheimer remarks.

The feeling here is hopeful.

The first night
was as expected.

Nothing unusual.

Nothing unusual?

Man: Hello!

Ooh!

Who's that up there?

Ooh, hoo, hoo --
3-fingered brown.

Oh, Mr., uh, uh...Blake.

Where is she?

Sara?

No -- grandma Moses.

Relax, relax.

I've seen them come
and I've seen them go.

All of them maimed,
right?

All of them
jamming their fingers

in that file cabinet,
if that's what you mean.

[ Chuckles ]

A guy has to be king Kong
to get some food in here.

What did she write
that got you so mad?

[ Chuckles ]

None of this is happening.
None of it.

Everybody gets mad.

I don't know
how she can tell you apart.

Oh, by our fingerprints
and our dental charts.

And you seem to know
a great deal

about the general procedure
around here.

Finger is bleeding.

I don't blame it.

Come here.

Come here.

Now --

ohh.

You stay off this finger,
and you'll be fine.

Hmm, she seems to run
her own drugstore.

That's quite a collection
of pills.

What's the matter?

How'd you like people
looking at your pills?

I'm sorry there's no eggs.

Sara doesn't keep any eggs

out of respect for my...
Vegetarianism.

But you can get them
around the corner.

Oh, no, that's all right.

I always eat
bread and milk.

It gives my coat
such a lovely sheen.

You like her?

Hmm?

Sara.

Oh, sure I do.
How could I not like her?

She likes you.

I'm very pleased.

Y-You wouldn't,
by any chance,

be her father?

No, I'm not her father.

Close...relative?

A friend.

Perhaps we'll be able to
say that about you someday.

Ah.

Charlie, you're up.

I brought you some eggs.
Be careful.

Your, uh, friend
the vegetarian is here.

Good morning, Alonzo.

I, uh, really came
to tell you

that there's
a big Lima bean sale

at lastasa's today.

You all right?

I'm all right.

See ya.

Mm-hmm.

Have a nice day.

Bye.

I see he's pushing
the Lima beans today.

He's trying
to convert you.

I see you got your finger
caught in the file.

Ah, well, that's what
you get for snooping.

What kind of report
was that --

"nothing unusual." Hmm?

How do you suppose
that makes me feel?

I was only trying
to point out

that with a little bit
of...Loosening up,

you could be salvaged.

Salvaged?

You write that way
about a sinking ship, Sara,

not about a human being.

Oh, Charlie,
Charlie, Charlie.

Well, why do you leave it
lying around?

I mean, you know
a man's going to look.

Exactly. A man
is going to look.

You should know my opinions
about such personal things.

So, that's where you will
always find my opinions.

Now, excuse me.
I'd just like to get in here.

And you can look
without feeling guilty --

can I see?
Ah, it's not bad.

And y-you don't have
to crunch your finger, okay?

I get reviewed
every morning?

It's been my experience
that it's better

if we correspond
on such personal matters.

Oh, it'll be
a great correspondence.

All I get is your opinion.
What about my opinion?

Well, up there,

on the writing table
next to the bed,

is a velvet book.

Anything
you want to tell me,

you write down
in the book --

anything
that occurs to you.

That way, you see,
we need never fight.

We simply write down
our grievances,

and when we are
with one another,

we just deal
with the day ahead.

Charlie: November 2nd.
Review of yesterday's events.

She was serious
about my clothing --

actually set up
an appointment for me

with the number-one custom
tailor in Brooklyn heights,

who dealt with imported
English fabrics only.

I told her I didn't need
suits -- I needed shoes.

She assured me that her
number-one custom tailor

could outfit me
from head to toe.

Monty the mod
was not to be believed,

nor was that carnaby cap.

It looked terrible on me --
lovely on him.

As to the imported fabrics,

they were imported
from the Chicago stockyards

and designed
by the Boston strangler.

The sweaters of Brooklyn
heights' number-one tailor

were quite something else --
they were alive.

There was a beige llama,
still shedding.

I explained about my allergy.

The zebra,
not yet housebroken,

would have to be walked
twice a day.

No, I drew the line,
took a stand.

Though I had agreed
to wear the cow pants,

none of this other livestock
would ever touch my body.

Not wishing
to hurt anyone's feelings,

Sara was quite diplomatic.

"Good," she said,
"we will take them both."

It was my darkest hour.

Sara:
Charlie is a very good sport

about wearing the costumes
of his native land.

We bought him a pair
of prince Edward boots,

and with every step he took,
I heard "rule britannia."

We did the neighborhood rounds,

and he was readily accepted
by the group.

The feigus brothers assured him

that my office platform
was quite safe

in spite of the cracked board.

He has accepted apples
as our basic food staple,

and...to hasten
his changeover,

he can no longer wear
his alarm watch.

I've asked him
to put pen to paper

and write his first poem.

In this instance,
I will accept blank verse.

Charlie: Third day.

I was about to write a poem
about my sweater

when this emergency arose

at Sara's
23rd street apartment.

Thank heavens you're here.

Do something, anything,
before it's too late!

All right,
Mrs. Schumacher,

now, tell me --
where is the patient?

"Where?" she asks.

Now, where would
a bathtub be, on the roof?

It is in the bathroom.

She's probably right,
Sara.

Talk, talk, talk,
talk, talk!

[ Water gurgling ]

Uh, she's probably
left the faucets on.

I'll handle it.

Sara: Charlie,
it's my responsibility.

Talk, talk, talk!

No, the faucets are off.

Ah. Here you are.

You neglected to replace
your stopper, madam.

Another job
for the silent service.

Oh, Marvin, that you should
live to see such a thing.

Heh.

[ Grunts ]

There you go.

[ Crying ]

Aah, it's alive!
It's alive!

Okay, Sara, you're on.

[ Crying continues ]

It's all right, honey.

[ Water draining ]

Ha ha ha ha.

Ah, Mrs. Schumacher,

now, if this
should happen again,

please don't hesitate
to call me.

Oh, such a relief.

[ Water gurgling ]

Charlie: I, of course, panicked

and resorted
to the stick with the bubble.

But she,
master plumber that she was,

eventually poured
Espresso grounds into the drain

and saved the day.

I can now see a 7-sided box
as a distinct possibility.

Sara:
Charlie is coming along nicely.

It was
our first Sunday together,

and to deliberately
slow him down,

we took a leisurely walk
across the bridge

and then took
a trip on the ferry

that goes
around Manhattan island.

We bought two Sunday times
for the puzzle.

It was determined
that I would do the acrosses,

and he would get
the ups and downs.

I really think that if
we pooled our solutions,

we could breeze
through this.

I don't think so.

I only have one word,
but it is a very big word --

"rumpelstiltskin."

Let me look.

No, I don't think that it
would do you any good.

It's in
the lower left-hand corner.

I don't know,
but I think

you took the easy part
of the puzzle.

Easy? Do you really think
that rumpelstiltskin

is the easy part?

A 4-letter word
for magnificent --

"Sara."

The capital of Alaska?

The capital of Alaska
is nome.

A 4-letter word
for impossible --

"Sara."

The capital of Alaska,
actually, is Fairbanks.

So then nome is wrong
no matter how I spell it.

A 4-letter word
for outrageous --

"Sara."

If Fairbanks is right,

then rumpelstiltskin
is wrong.

Charlie, what is --
w-what did you say?

What?

A 4-letter word
for wonderful --

"Sara."

Where, Charlie, where?

Where do you see that?

Oh, that's --

oh, Charlie,

that's -- oh, oh.

Charlie: I will never again
do a crossword puzzle

without the word "Sara"
writing itself in,

nor can I believe

that you are so many
contradictions all at once.

I do miss my watch,

but I'm able to tell time
by the angle of the sun,

and at night -- who cares?

After due consideration
and much serious thought,

I have decided to do my poem
about the ferry

and not my sweater,

for I've grown quite fond
of my sweater

and have named it Rex.

[ Knock on door ]

I got it.

Charles Blake?

Yes?

Telegram.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

Sara: What is it?

It's a telegram.

Oh, for me?

Uh, no.

[ Sighs ]

Aren't you
going to open it?

No. If -- if I open it,
I'll only read it.

Maybe you got drafted.

Can they do that
all the way from england?

It's bad news?

Uh...

Sara, I've, uh...

I've got to call my office.

You have been drafted.

No, but it's urgent...
Vital.

Well, there's
the telephone.

I guess
I'd better not listen.

No, I think
you ought to listen.

Well, i'd, uh,
I think I'd rather not.

Hello. Digby, please.

Mr. Blake. Thank you.

Hello, diggers?
Yes, I just got it.

Well, I don't know.

Well, you know,

you really ought to be able
to handle this on your own,

don't you think?

Diggers, look, old buddy,

I'm having a nice time. Yeah.

Oh, a little poetry,
a little plumbing.

You know,
the good things in life.

Well, diggers, I'm not
coming to the meeting.

Tell them what you like.

Tell them
I fell off a ferry.

A ferry boat.

And look, stop trying
to box me in.

Maybe a week, 10 days.
I don't know.

Yeah, and digby,

please don't
call me here again.

Sara: After the phone call,
Charlie bought a $4 airplane

and dedicated himself
to its freedom.

Charlie: The policeman was,
of course, quite correct.

Flying an airplane
off the Brooklyn bridge

is very much against the law.

I think I will do my first poem
about the airplane

and not the ferry.

A poem
by Charles Blake.

Oh, Charlie.
Just a minute. Okay.

"I shot a plane
into the air.

"It struck Manhattan
over there.

"I got a ticket,
but I don't care.

I'd do it again."

Is that all?

Yes.

Oh, it's lovely,
Charlie.

It's really
very -- very nice,

and it rhymes
almost all the way through.

You don't like it.

No -- yes. I just --
I had hoped for something

a little more dramatic,
that's all. I'm sorry.

Okay. I'll put it
with the others.

I had thought by now

you would be finished
with the wisenheimer poems

and be really involved

in the lovely, sweet,
romantic poems.

Otherwise, you see,

Alonzo will never be able
to get them published.

I understand.

You are a good sport,
though, Charlie. You are.

You take criticism
so well --

much better
than I ever expected.

You can tell a person

by the way
he takes criticism.

More blue, Sara.

More blue, darling.

Sara, the sky is blue,
right?

That's very good, Charlie.

That's very fine,
but a brick wall is red.

Oh. That's a brick wall?

No one writes
"no handball playing"

in the sky, Charlie.

Oh, I guess not.

No.

Hmm. A brick wall.

A blue brick wall.

Well, it's a very
effective sign, darling.

I mean,
you don't see anybody

playing handball
up there, do you?

[ Laughs ]

Well, you've got
plenty of red paint.

Now, where's
that bicycle tape?

I've got to make a call.

Where?

The west 54th street
apartment.

The TV picture is rolling.

Can you handle that
by yourself?

Huh?

I said, "can you handle that
by yourself?"

I handled the last
Espresso job, sweetheart.

Well, you better take
your TV tube tester.

Uh-huh. Check.

[ Humming ]

Did you say the west
54th street apartment?

That's Henry Jensen.

That's right.
Now, what do I charge him?

Oh, no, there is
no charge there.

He has a year's guarantee.

An 85-year-old TV set

and you gave him
a guarantee?

Has he got a contract?

My word is my bond,
Charlie.

I run a legitimate
repair service.

Where is
the bicycle tape, Sara?

You have it, Charlie.
You have it.

You have it. It's there.
It's in there, okay?

That's extra.

You charge extra
for that -- $1 a foot.

I promise I'll use
as much as I can.

That's good.

Man: Hello?

I bet that's Alonzo.

He's going to bring me
some new canvasses.

No, it's not Alonzo.

Clem!

Hey, Sara.

Oh, clem.

Oh, I wanted to hear
about the new college.

I thought of you so often.

Let me look at you.
Oh, you look marvelous.

You did not
write me a word.

Not a postcard!
No excuses.

You've gained weight.

Do you two
know each other?

There's so much
I want to ask you about.

You're kind of jumping
your month, aren't you?

Charlie, this is clem.
I told you about clem.

Tell me, what have you
been doing with yourself?

Well, it's
a very long story.

Oh, we'd love
to hear it.

Oh, Charlie. I'm sorry.

Charles Blake,
clem batchman.

Pleased to meet you.

Is that a fact?

Oh, Charlie,
you are so rude!

What am I supposed to do?
I don't know this guy.

Clem! Clem batchman!

What are you doing?
Good to see you.

You look marvelous!

Well, you do, too.

Listen, hey, I still have
all of your paintings.

They're all framed.

Did you ever have that
exhibition of my works?

Yeah, well, no,

but we came close,
very close.

Pardon me. You painted
when you were here?

Mm-hmm.
What's your therapy?

Me? Oh, uh...

I write poetry.

Oh, very nice.

Maybe you can
get published.

Yes. We seem to share
the same agent.

Mr. Alonzo here,
he represents me, too.

Clem: Well, you're
in good hands.

We could possibly have
a joint exhibition.

Your paintings, my poetry,
bill Shakespeare's plays,

Pete Tchaikovsky's music...

Clem, where are
you staying?

In a hotel.

Clem, you can't.

He can.

I'm only here
for a few days, maybe a week.

I've got
a surprise for you.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

Well, you can't stay
at a hotel.

We'll have to make
some sort of arrangements

for you to stay --

wait a minute.
Hold it, Sara.

I feel I must point out

that November
happens to be my month.

Now, where I do not wish
to appear unreasonable

or inhospitable --

well, clem knows
the rules, Charlie.

Yes. But when Richard
wanted to return,

you disallowed him.

How come, then,
when we are all familiar

with the established
precedents,

how come
captain america here

is allowed
visiting privileges?

You must trust me

to make the correct
decisions, Charlie.

In the meantime,

since you are in
such an ungentlemanly snit,

I suggest
that you run along

and make
your service call.

Maybe I'd better go.

The guy's got a point, Sara.
It is his month.

No, I'll make the call.

The man has a contract.
He's entitled to service.

As for my poetry,
it is not for publication.

Now, Charlie.

Oh, I'm onto
your insidious little game,

trying to convert people
to vegetarianism.

Listen, Sara,

people are not born
to vegetarianism, you know.

It takes missionaries
like him to convert them.

And as for you, sir,

be advised that I am
a first-class judo expert.

And if you are still here
on my return,

I will probably strangle you
with my black belt.

Use Espresso grounds.

It's a TV service call.

Take the bicycle tape.
It's $1 a foot.

Sara:
As Charlie later found out,

the purpose of clem's visit

was to tell me that he finally
quit hiding in college,

and to introduce his fiancée,
Carol -- a very lovely girl.

Charlie is really very warm
and clever and dear.

He apologized to everyone
for his immature outburst

and must surely realize

that if he keeps up
that kind of behavior,

he will always be Pinocchio
and never a real boy.

Hey.

What?

When am I
going to hear it?

Hear what?

Your new poem.

You can't still
be working on it.

I finished it
three days ago.

I've been carrying it
around in my pocket,

hoping it would fall out.

Were you so afraid
to read it to me?

Uh-huh.

Charlie, you'll just
have to face up to it

sooner or later.

I know, I know, I know.

All right,
all right, all right.

Now, look.
Empty your pockets.

Righty-ho.

Here -- here we are.

I call it "enigma."

Okay.

That's something that's
difficult to figure out.

Okay, good. Now, go on.

"'Enigma,' by Charles Blake.

"A girl I know,
she is partly mad.

"Yet, beyond that smile,
she is partly sad.

"She is partly calm.
She is partly wild.

"But she is mostly woman.

No, she is mostly child."

I thank you.

Charlie. Oh, Charlie.

You like it?

I like it, I like it.

I like it,
and it rhymes, Charlie.

You've broken through.
It rhymes.

It's a love poem, Sara.

Love poems
don't have to rhyme.

You want rhymes?

"Jack be nimble" rhymes.

Oh, but that's not
about me.

I know how hard
it's been for you, Charlie,

all these years,
hiding behind blank verse.

I know.

Well, it's nice
to achieve recognition

in one's own lifetime.

Charlie, I will...
I will keep it always.

And you wanted it to fall
out of your pocket.

You should be
ashamed of yourself.

Shame, Charlie, shame.

I must have been mad.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Charlie: Dearest Sara,
my every thought is of you.

You're looking tired.

If I ought to fret about you,
please let me know.

I think I might very much
like the worrying.

Perhaps
instead of all those pills,

perhaps some vitamins
with liver extract.

Surely Alonzo
can't object to that.

I cannot face the fact that
I must someday give you up.

I should never have agreed
to a 30-day month.

[ Thud ]

What are you doing?

I'm being blinded.

What are you doing
down there?

I was just checking, Sara.

I, uh...

I thought I heard somebody
creeping about.

It was me.

What are you doing
with my calendar?

Calendar? What calendar?

You are
just like a little boy

caught with his hand
in the cookie jar.

Honestly, Sara.

Would three extra days
hurt you?

I mean, they're
right in the middle

of the month --
15, 16, and 17.

I mean, they're
hardly noticeable.

A little bit
of tape -- look.

And bingo! They're back.

Three days, Sara.
That's all.

That tape is $1 a foot.

Money is no object, Sara.
Bill me.

I love those days.

Then you may keep them,

but you may not
put them back.

I don't understand

why I can't have
two successive terms.

I mean, you do it
for your presidents.

It would be
very American of you --

very American.

Oh, Sara,
what are we doing?

I mean, why are we tearing
the days off one by one

like "she loves me,
she loves me not"?

I mean...

I love you, Sara.

Oh, Charlie.
You said it.

First time.
World premiere.

You know I love you.

Yes, but you never
said it before.

In my letters, I wrote it.

Never, never. Not once.

No, but it's implied
in everything I do.

This is the first time
that you ever said it.

And you know
what I think, Charlie?

Hmm?

I think
you really mean it.

Well...we're making
great strides.

We are.
I'm very pleased.

Oh, cut it out, Sara.

I love you.

That means past November,
past winter,

past all the dumb years
ahead, okay?

We made an agreement,
you and I.

We shook hands.

Sara, kids do that.

A bargain is a bargain,
a sacred vow, and an oath.

Whoever breaks that oath

must give up
all memories of the other.

Do you want to give up
your memories of me?

No, of course I don't,
and I don't have to.

No. No, I know.

I know
you don't have to, but...

Supposing that you did.

Sara, that's silly.
I have no control over it.

I can't just
blot everything out

simply because I agreed to.

People must be
remembered, Charlie.

Otherwise, it's as if
they were never here at all.

All we are, are the people
who remember US.

If we go away,

and everybody forgets
we were ever here,

it's as if we never were.

And you did it
again, you know.

You did it again.

I did what?

A few minutes ago.

What, Sara? What?

I had a dream,
and you were in it,

and then you misbehaved.

Sara, I can't
be held responsible

for the way I behave
in your dreams.

Yes, you can.

A dream is simply a truth
that never happened.

Just because
it never happened

doesn't mean it's untrue.

Little zig, little zag.

Here she comes,
there she goes.

Let's just stick
to the conversation,

shall we, Sara?

Now, I just announced
my love for you.

Now, that's
a pretty special thing,

don't you think?

Yes, thank you. Yes.

As it turns out,
I really am in love

for the first time
in my life.

Now, that's
a pretty stupid thing

for a man of my age
to have to admit,

but, well,
it's my first outing.

Now, that in itself

is a pretty
wondrous thing, no?

It's so late, Charlie.
It's so late.

Tomorrow is
a busy day for US.

Sara, all I want to know

is why you think
that come November 30th,

I'm just going to walk
out of your life --

walk right out the door,
away, finished, kaput?

What makes you think
I'm going to do a Richard?

Because you will.

Why?

Because you really do
love me, that's why.

Good night, Charlie.

You're right, Charlie.
You know, you're right.

Clem and his girl,
they make a lovely couple.

It'll be a good marriage.

And who am I supposed
to marry?

Oh, I don't know, Charlie.

Some very pretty girl
who doesn't like dessert

so you can have
her ice cream on your pie.

You really want me
to marry someone else?

Yes, of course I do.
I do, and soon, too.

You're getting on,
you know,

or would you rather not
talk about that?

Who, me?

I've never felt this young.

It's an illusion, Charlie.
It's the vegetables.

Your diet is better,

but you can still tell
a person's age by his teeth.

Listen, Sara --

or do they do that
with horses?

I know that with a tree,
you can tell by its rings,

but I-I don't know
whether or not

they do that with a horse.

You won't give
an inch, will you, huh?

What's the matter? Hmm?

Nothing, Charlie.

Nothing's the matter.

I'm cold. That's what's
the matter -- I'm cold.

Come on.
Let's go home. Come.

"Partly calm, partly wild.

"Mostly woman.

No, mostly child."

I like that, Charlie.
I like that.

I think you've captured
the real me.

[ Hammering ]

Charlie?

Ohh!

Is that you, Charlie?

No, it's Tom thumb.

Hi.

Clem,
where are the girls?

Well, they're shopping.
I don't know -- something.

What are you doing
up there?

I'm trying to fix
this cracked board.

Oh, yeah, that one

that the fiegus brothers
cracked, huh?

Yeah, that's the one.

Would you like
some coffee?

I got it.

All right.

Ah, so, you're
getting married, eh?

Yeah, I'm going to
take the plunge.

Oh, good, good.

I've been thinking

about getting married
myself.

That's very nice.

Yeah. Well, you know.

I'm getting on.
It's about time.

Yeah. What time is it?

I have to file
the certificates.

I don't know. I can't
help you, I'm afraid.

I don't wear a watch
anymore.

It's 4:00.
The bureau closes at 5:00.

I better get moving.

Oh, go tomorrow, clem.

Well, tomorrow is Sunday.

Tomorrow's Thursday.

Oh.

Sit down, clem, please.

Okay.

Now tell me about Sara.

Well, there's
nothing to tell.

Sara is Sara.

Right. You seem to know
your way around here

pretty good.

Okay.

What are the, uh,

what are the pills
all about?

It's coming up the end
of November, Charlie,

and you have to go.

That's not
what I asked you.

What about the way
she gets cold?

What do you know
about Sara that I don't?

Nothing that you can't
figure out for yourself.

I'll see you.

Alonzo?

Ho!

Oh, hi.

There's a big demand

for these "building
coming down" signs.

I think our neighborhood's
being saved.

If I could use a stencil,

I could mass-produce
some of this stuff,

but all my work
is hand-lettered.

It's all custom-made.

Alonzo,
no fun and games, okay?

Okay. What's wrong?

I have some
very serious questions

to which I know or think

or fear
there are serious answers.

I want to know
about Sara, Alonzo.

Yes?

I'm now asking.

Mm-hmm.

Some ask
and some don't.

Clem asked, you may
be interested to hear.

Richard didn't.

Never asked,
never looked, never saw.

She's sick.
I can see that.

Yes.

The pills -- I mean,
a whole ruddy collection.

Every color in the rainbow,

prescribed
by eight different doctors,

eight different dates.

Yes.

The quick tiredness,
the little trembles,

the uneven breathing
in her sleep.

I, uh,
I can't bring myself

to ask you
any direct questions.

All right, Charlie.

Is she, uh...

She's very ill.

Obviously, she's very ill.

I mean,
anyone can tell that.

I mean, a man
would have to be blind.

Charlie, Sara --

she's temporary.

She doesn't have much time.

Oh, god in heaven.

Oh, no.

Oh, Alonzo.

Oh, no.

My whole dull life
I've been looking for her.

What do I do, Alonzo?

You do
exactly as she says.

She's entitled to that much.

We don't talk about it?

Not necessary.
She knows that you know.

Everything's been tried?
Every new drug --

yes, yes.

I know a great doctor.

Her family
had her everywhere,

almost to the point
of its being cruel.

Sara called it off
and moved here.

I keep in touch with them,
write them letters,

lie a little,
give them hope.

Why her?

Why anybody?

I don't care
about anybody, Alonzo.

I care about Sara.

Well...

Now you understand better

why every month
is like a year to her

and no man
is allowed to stay longer.

Not out of desire.

Out of fear.

Fear of being forgotten.

What is it that she has?

I have it
written down somewhere.

It's quite rare,
quite incurable.

Doesn't much matter
what it's called.

How much time -- oh, god.

I can't believe
I'm asking these questions.

They don't really know.

Alonzo,
I mustn't lose her.

You can't -- you can't --

you can't lose
what you never really had.

You can only borrow Sara,
and she is the way she is

because she has
no time for pretense.

Now, don't -- don't
disappoint her, Charlie.

Just hold her hand
and let go when she says to.

She has her own road
to go on.

You happened
to cross it in November.

Hmm.

When she says to,

let go and let it be.

Oh, I hope this pie
will be all right.

I never made
a pumpkin pie before.

I never made
any pie before.

Oh, Charlie,
what's to become of me?

Shh, it'll be great.
It'll be beautiful.

It'll be a thing people
will talk about for years.

All that I ever
made before was jello.

Well, it takes
a certain amount of courage

to make jello --

oh, Charlie, it does not!
Do not lie to me!

I followed
all those directions,

I did not waver,
and I did not improvise.

Then you stand
a certain fighting chance.

Charlie, would you keep
your voice down please?

Otherwise,
the pie will fall.

You know what I think?

No.

I think
it will be all right.

I do. I think
it will turn out fine.

Fine.

Oh, we should use
the good glasses tonight.

Both of them?

First come, first serve.
Did you get the wine?

Yes, my dear.

Have you decided
which silver pattern

you'd like tonight --
shrouts or hornen haddart?

Well, I think we should
go with the good stuff.

The shrouts?
Hmm, that's a pity

because we've only got
three sets.

First come,
first serve.First come,
first serve.

Hey, Sara.

Charlie,
don't do that.

There's a pie
in the oven.

Let it listen.
I got nothing to hide.

You know Alonzo
won't eat Turkey.

Well, what is Thanksgiving
without Turkey?

So let me show you
what I made him.

I made him a Turkey
to go with his salad,

but it's out of jello.

Oh, Charlie, don't --

what do you laugh for
like that?

Doesn't it look
like a Turkey?

It's strawberry.

Sara?

This is all so right,
you and me.

Maybe I should have asked
another couple

to Carol's
Thanksgiving bridal shower,

but if they
hardly know her,

I can't ask them
to bring gifts.

So there'll just be
you and me

and clem and Carol
and Alonzo.

We have a lot
to be thankful for

this Thanksgiving.

Right. We haven't had
one Indian attack

all winter.

Oh, Charlie.
That's very funny.

Sara, come and have
a talk with me.

No, Charlie, no, no!

Come on.
I have a lot to do.

Cut it out, Sara.
Come and have a talk.

You know,
there's something

that I've been
meaning to tell you.

Promise
you won't be angry.

I promise
I won't be angry.

All right.

Whee!

I want to tell you
about Gordon.

He's going to be
my December.

Oh, see that, Charlie?
You are angry.

Things must go on,
you know.

I don't want to hear.

I don't want to know.

I need your advice.

Really, it may be
something serious.

I don't know.

Now, can't we discuss it
like civilized people?

Okay.

I met Gordon
at the vegetable stand.

He seems dreadfully
uncoordinated

and terribly awkward.

When he
tipped his hat to me,

he knocked over
a whole row of cabbages,

and then, when he bent down
to pick them up,

he knocked over more --
dozens.

Hmm.

I think it may be
an equilibrium problem.

Now, if it's
purely emotional,

I think I can be
of some help,

but if it's
his inner ear --

this is the question
that I want to ask you.

Do you think I should
send him to a clinic?

Sara, I don't care

if you pickle him
and send him to the moon.

I mean,
he means nothing to me,

and if you think I'm thrilled
to hear about him,

then you're
very much mistaken.

See that, Charlie.
You are angry.

I have a few days left
in November, Sara,

and I don't want
to devote them

to a discussion
about my successor,

and I'm sick and tired
of your casual evasions

and your
determination to --

have a hell
of a happy Thanksgiving!

Oh, Charlie -- Charlie!

Carol --
thank you for --

I'm sorry.

Please, you were going
to say something.

Well, it wasn't important.

I wanted to thank you,
all of you,

for all
the wonderful gifts,

and, well,
I just wanted to make sure

I thanked you again.

Yeah.

Oh, you'll find
that cookbook

very enlightening, Carol.

Vegetables can be prepared
in many delicious ways.

Well, animals thrive
on it, right, Sara?

Right. You never saw
a skinny gorilla.

[ Laughs ]

Excuse me.

Well, where is he?

That's just terrible
of him.

Shh.

He missed
almost the whole dinner.

Carol.

Um, let's go
pack up the gifts, huh?

Sara --

I think we should have
dessert now, don't you?

This thing looks
hardly edible,

but I think
it deserves a chance.

He'll be back.

He loves you,
and you love him.

Look, isn't it time

you closed
that book of yours?

Isn't it time you grabbed

whatever happiness
you can get, hmm?

Let him stay. He knows.
He doesn't care.

But I care.

I love him, Alonzo.

I never meant for that
to happen, but I do.

And because I do,

I-I don't want him around
when it comes.

I don't want him
to see that.

I don't want him
to be part of it.

I don't want him
to remember

even one tiny,
little piece of it.

And that's why I-I hope
he never comes back.

That's why I-I hope
he keeps on running,

never, never to return.

Because I am afraid
that if he comes back

these last few days
in November,

I'm afraid that I will
never let him leave me again.

Why did he go?

Why? Why?

Because I told him
about Gordon.

I told Charlie
about Gordon

because
I wanted him to run.

You know I wanted that.

Who is Gordon?

A candidate for December.

A distinct possibility --

Alonzo, Alonzo, just someone
to keep me company.

Purely clinical.

Just like Richard,
all right?

He's not Charlie.

No. Nobody's Charlie.

I'm afraid that
it's a terrible failure.

I haven't been able
to get any good pumpkin

since the Indian attack.

[ Laughter ]

I'm afraid
it -- it flopped.

As a matter of fact,

I think it fell
all the way through.

Well, not at all.
It looks delicious.

Oh, you're very kind.

Alonzo, would you
do the honors?

Uh, yeah.

A knife. I'm sorry.

[ Knock at door ]

I'll get it.

What?

It's a 7-sided box.

Well, I guess
we're supposed to read it.

I guess so.

Uh...

Number two -- "sorry
I couldn't be with you

for the festivities."

Number three -- "must you...
Leave so soon, Alonzo?"

Number four --
"and you, too, clem?"

Five -- "and you, too, Carol?"

Six -- "isn't it a shame
that you must all leave?"

Signed, "the phantom Charlie,"
number seven.

Well, I'm a bit tired.

Oh, Alonzo, no.
You don't have to go.

It's just Charlie's way
of being silly.

Oh, clem, don't go.

I'll get the coats.

You have not even
had your dessert.

It's okay.
We really should go.

And Sara, thank you.

It was wonderful --
really, very nice.

You're welcome.

Bye, Sara.

Bye-bye.

Ahh!

From New York's
famous Plaza hotel,

a recently stolen plunger.

Oh, Charlie.

From monty's
irregular mod shop,

a shockingly chic
carnaby cap.

1,500 yards of bicycle tape,

and at $1 a foot, wow!

And now, the two
most requested answers

in the New York driving test.

May I have the envelope, please?

Thank you.

The legal speed limit
in a deer-crossing zone

is 15 miles per hour.

How fast do you go
in a falling-rock zone?

As fast as you can.

For the man in your life...

A generous bottle

of "main floor"
by bloomingdale's.

And from steigmeyer's
delicatessen and grocery shoppe,

a 1/2-quart container
of Sauerkraut.

How sweet it is.

And from
your neighborhood a&p,

a year's supply of ry krisp

for pigeons
with a weight problem.

Birds prefer them 15 to 4,
so they say.

And from the hardware store
to the stars,

a pair of striped overalls...

With a loop.

Ohh.

And, as an expression
of my undying love...

A tattoo, Sara, a tattoo.

Does it hurt?

Painted on by myself
in available light.

Do you like it?

Oh, Charlie.

Ah, ah, ah, come sit down.

A poem by Charles Blake

entitled
"sweet November."

I promised you, Sara,
so here it is.

May be good, may be bad --
probably bad --

but one thing's for sure --

from beginning to end,
it do rhyme.

"Sweet November,

"they say
you're wintry and gray,

"and yet,
this love that you bring

"is sweeter than spring
and warmer than may.

"Come December,

"when our November
is through,

"we'll face the winter
and smile,

"for you know that
I'll be staying with you.

"When we remember
November sunshine,

"we won't mind
December's rain.

For US, it will be
like sweet November again."

1,000 novembers, Sara,

for as long as they last.

Let's tack them up
all around the room.

We'll cover the walls
with them.

We'll pull the days off,
one by one,

and as we finish one month,
we'll go on to another.

From now on, Sara,
sweetest Sara,

every month
will be November.

And wherever you look
in your funny life,

you're going to see them,
sweet and endless,

and you're going
to see me, too,

because as we agreed,
November is my month.

All your novembers
are mine.

I'll never leave you.

Sara: Dear phantom Charlie,
what a marvelous Thanksgiving!

How grand the way you arrived
like the u.S. Cavalry.

Your poem was very lovely,
as were all your gifts.

I only worry

for those 1,000 people
with 1,000 calendars

who will never have
a November at all.

I am pleased with you. Sara.

Charlie: Dearest Sara,
with Thanksgiving over,

we must prepare
for the holidays ahead.

We must get
our Christmas shopping

immediately out of the way
so that by Christmas morning,

all our presents

can have been exchanged
for the proper sizes.

I love you, Sara Deever.

Wherever I go from here,

you will be the sole occupant
of my heart,

and if it gets
crowded in there,

the arteries
will just have to go.

I've explained it to them.
They understand.

I will never leave you.
Charlie.

Sara: Dear Charlie,
now, as our November runs out,

I see that you
are no longer a box,

6-sided and dull,
but rather,

you are one of my
greatest triumphs. Sara.

Charlie: Dear Sara,
I will never leave you,

I will never leave you,
I will never leave you.

Charlie.

Oh!

Oh, snow, snow,
unseasonable snow!

Good lord.

Oh, oh, look.

What?

We've sprung a leak.

Ha ha.

The moon is spilling in.

Quick, Charlie,
the bicycle tape!

No, I'll fix it tomorrow.

Even the moon has to wait
for an appointment.

Brrr.

I've packed your bag...

...so you can make
a clean getaway.

Oh, and, um,
one of your argyle socks

was badly worn,

so I took the Liberty
of throwing them both away.

It seemed
the proper thing to do.

Charlie, oh, look there.

Oh, look at that moon
crouching on our skylight.

All that -- all that
green cheese.

We would have to hurry

and make lots and lots
of toast.

I suppose that's a new lock
on the door, right?

Yes.

Sure were up early
this morning, weren't we?

You have to return
your key, Charlie.

It won't work anyway.

Perhaps I didn't
get through to you, Sara.

I'm not leaving.

We have to say goodbye.

We have to stay
within the scheme of things.

I have to
send you away now.

Nothing I did,
nothing I said

made the slightest dent
on you, huh?

Nothing? Hmm?

You know what I think?

I think
that we should put

another sticker
on your bag --

a big sticker that says,
"hotel silly, u.S.A."

That bag isn't going
anyplace either, Sara.

You're going to ruin
our goodbye,

aren't you, Charlie?

November is obstinate.

It doesn't go out
that easy.

It's almost midnight.

We stayed out too late,
you know.

You deliberately
kept me out.

Yes. It was wrong.
I'm sorry.

Well, I don't much care
about midnight.

Sara, I've been trying
for days now

to find
some kind of philosophy

that would allow me
to do this your way,

that would allow me
to say,

"so long, kid.
It's been great," you know?

I tried hard
because I love you,

but I just can't
come up with it.

I don't know anything
about philosophy, Charlie.

I don't ask questions
anymore, not now.

I just settle
for the answers

as they come.

You mean
to tell me straight out

that you never once
thought of letting me stay?

I think I forgot
your toothbrush, Charlie.

You know, standing here
in this dopey light,

the whole idea
of me leaving you

is so unreal,

I actually believe
that I made it up

just so that I could have
something so perfect

that I'd never be able
to keep it.

[ Clock chiming ]

I despair, Sara.
I goddamn despair.

I want you
to leave me now, Charlie,

when you love me most.

Everything after now
is wrong.

I know because I have
an instinct for time.

It lives all around me.

What I have of it is mine,

and I have to use it
my way.

Time doesn't count, Sara.
You taught me that.

Oh, Charlie,
I'd hoped you would leave.

Hi. It's 12:00. Here I am.

Well.

I had hoped
you would be gone.

Sometimes I think
my clothing is alive.

That's, uh, quite a snow,
isn't it?

Wasn't even expected at all.

I'm Gordon from December.

We met at the veg--

vegetable stand.

Hi. Didn't expect
to see you,

stroke of midnight
and all that.

Uh, I would have, um,
saved the cab for you

had I known, uh --

l-look, do you want me
to go out

and come back in again?

It's --
it's very easily done.

I'm, uh, sorry if i'm
making anybody uncomfortable.

Look, I'll tell you --

I'll just go and, uh...

Put my bag right over here,

and that way it'll be safe,
and I'll go out.

I'll go out for 10 minutes,
11, maybe 15.

No, wait a minute.

Um, I'm on your time.

What's a few minutes?

No, no, no. You stay.

Stay there, please.

I'm brim full, Sara.

I've got you with me
for the rest of my life.

Staying longer would only
run me into the hereafter.

I'll remember.

No. Don't turn around.

I'll turn to salt.

How are you
with bicycle tape?

Pardon?

Oh, uh, don't worry
about the stairs.

They held
the fiegus brothers.

I've got a problem,
you know.

I-It's funny, I suppose,

but inanimate things
keep fighting me.

Who are
the fiegus brothers?

I think December will be
a lovely month, Gordon.

You'll see.

You'll see. A lovely month.

captions paid for by
Warner Bros. Inc.

* sweet November *

* they say
you're wintry and gray *

* and yet this love
that you bring *

* is sweeter than spring *

* and warmer than may *

* I can't remember
November sunshine *

* more beautiful than today *

* fleeting, it's true,
but what can I do *

* to make sweet November stay? *

* come December *

* when our November is through *

* I'll face the winter
and smile *

* for I know
that I'll be thinking of you *

* when I remember
November sunshine *

* I won't mind
December's rain *

* for me, it will be
like sweet November again *