Swamp Ape (2017) - full transcript

Truck's that way Jasper

No! no! there is where it gets good

Let's go!

Can't we carry anything else?

C'mon you wimp, you are not gonna hold

Let's go!

Where is he?

The water
Down by the water!

What is the DOG doing

What the hell

No!



No!

Fuck! shoot him! shoot him!

Oh no!

Ah!

What the hell happened

What did this to him?

whatever it was, it killed him

No, ahhh!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

SWAMP APE

Damn! that was a nice fight

I think you are ready for this weekend

Thanks man!

i think you are right



Another game?

You are on!

Oh man!

I gotta go, um.. Sorry guys

Aww! come on man

Yo! Professor

Sir i...

Just have a seat Troy.

And that is why I want to see both of you

you on this expedition.

then how about we get these forms signed?

Let me think about it

We're shipping out first thing Lilly

So don't take too long!

You're going to fail

Yeah

please don't sugar coat it

But being the great Professor that I am

I am going to give you one last chance

I'm heading a expedition this weekend

from a grant I earned

I am seeking eager volunteers

I can't the weekend, there's volleyball final

if you want to graduate

consider yourself a volunteer!

This is championship game Professor

they need me!

Look it's no secret, the people are

talking you being the Head Coach this year

If you want that to happen

You are gonna have to graduate

Have it to me by the end of the day

All right that looks like all of us

Hand me your forms as you enter the Bus

Okay

Glad you decided to join us Lilly

Is it true that Theo Grayson is gonna be
our GUIDE

Yes, he will

He is a former student of mine

How do you know him?

She wants to bang him

Shut up
No I don't

I'm so glad you've chosen brain over brawn

There might be hope for you young man

The game's Sunday morning
Do you think we can get out by then?

That's entirely up to you as a group

Okay, umm... Professor Stein

According to the GPS, we're gonna be making a right

and 0.7 miles

right after the other right

Hey everyone,i made cup cakes.
Who wants one

I want one of those

Thank you

Are they low fat?

Umm.. i don't know
i made them from the box

Whatever its a cheat day

Its pretty good

How about you Professor Stein?

No thanks, i am on a diet

Watching my figure, so to speak.

How's that working out for you?

Good

Professor Stein, What's your first name?

Richard.

So your name's Dick

Richard, and that's Professor to you

You know what

I will have that cup cake now

So much for a diet

Where are the cup cakes

Wendy's got them

Dibs

Ugh.....

That's so greedy

Hey, Dibs on Anna Marie

That's all you man.

Ooh, is that a bong?

Yeah, you smoke?

All the time. I do a lot of pot

Mostly on the weekends

Really? This is one of those vape bongs

Is it?

Here, try it

No, don't do it, don't listen to him

shh.

Ugh.. it's greasy

Just pump it

What the hell is this?

Eeww... you jerk! Ugh!

All right, we are here.

Everyone out.

Get everything you need

It's wilderness from here on out.

Thank you sir

Hey Chief!

Where are the restrooms at?

Back in the store

Ooh shark week, sucks for you

I know

Umm.. i was wondering do you think any of the guys are hot, like Troy?

I don't know, Troy is cute but he is a Ken doll and i....

Aaahh!!!

Who buys this crap huh?

Check it out guys

It's a... Big Foot

It's a Skunk Ape these thing are been around for centuries

Long before the Native Americans were even here

You need to get laid, Urkle

You sound like a dork

Hey man, don't listen to him
He's trying to pick a fight you know..

Whatever

I hope you don't plan on camping around here this weekend.

Yes, we’re here for the pollution study.

That's important work.

But there is no camping this weekend

All the local tribes gather for The Blood Moon ceremonies

So the reservation are off limits
My name is Richard Stein

and this piece of paper here says that we have state clearance to be here.

As you can see that's a state property.

Come minions!

Your teacher is kind of a Dick

Pretty much
Yeah.. Agreed

It's a dangerous time right now

tread carefully

how much for the....

20 dollars

Hey Richard, how's it going?

Where were you? we have been waiting for hours

Eh, I just came down from shuttling your guide over to the camp

Okay? I didn’t think you’d be here so soon.

Class, this is Ranger Steve

He is gonna let us stay here overnight and use the park facilities

Hey guys

I’ll be at the station all weekend while y’all are here, okay?

Ready to go?
Yes!

Yeah, I’d so let him do me

Mmm...I would just eat him up like dutch apple

Uh, I would totally hit that too.
I would let him patrol my wetland

Right? i would let him explore my marsh

heh, yest? I’d let him motorboat through my swampy Netherlands

Eww...

Let's go

Ready to go?

We sure are. Everybody load your gear on the boat. We’re getting ready head out.

Wait a minute.. we are taking a boat there?

Yes sweetheart, most of the year the camp is surrounded by water

Nobody told me anything, i didn't even know we are camping on an island

I didn't think it matter how we go to camp.

No, uh-uh, I need civilization.

Look, we’ve arranged to have a wilderness guide stay with us for safety sake

Ooh so that’s comforting

Hey Sweetheart, you are gonna be fine okay?

I am gonna be at station all weekend

Get on the boat, Com'on!

Here we are!

Boy’s Cabin on the left, Girls on the right.

Ah! Are you kidding me?

Awe, does Princess need her castle

You got the data lab down the road. You’ll have full access

You know.. this place isn't that bad

Yeah, this is awesome

i guess.

Also you will have a trailer guy, his name is THEO

He is a volunteer at the park

All right everyone
let's go set up our bunks

Boys, i want you to gather some fire woods when you are done setting up.

So we can have a fire tonight

All right

I’ll be at the boathouse by the docks

Wait a minute, i don't have signals here

I don't have either

Shit.

Me neither

Guys... guys my phone works

All right

There is a radio in the data lab. if you have an emergency, you contact me

If not, Theo can help you out anything you need okay?

All right.

All right. Let's go

Thanks Ranger Steve.
All right, Take care.

Nice
Yeah

Hey that guy Theo smells like BO!

Well, One of us got to share a bunk. No homo.

I’m going to check on the girls.

Ooh Shit

let me be at the bottom

Uh, Carl said he already wanted to share a bunk with me.

He asked you to share a bunk with you?

Yeah
What are you guys? Gay?

No, i just got dibs

It's not happening, All right?

I got dibs. All right

Ooh you little crazy asshole, don't talk about shit.
What the hell do you think you are doing man

Woo! you got some issues huh?

You want a fucking pizza

Hey!

You are hurting me!

It hurts

Get off me!

Chill out dude, just calm down!

you want to find yourself sleeping in a room full of enemies tonight

Relax, We are joking right Carl?

All right. I will see you guys outside

Its alright

Here.

Thanks

You should get the top bunk

Thanks for having my back man

You got it.

Left his toothbrush

Aah! You touched my hand

Ooh hell yeah, i am jumping in

How about you ladies

Aah...uhh

No way, i am not going in there
I don't want parasites going up my... you know what

There's gators all in there.

Gators? I bench 280, you think i give a fuck about a gator

Besides it's hot as balls, you ladies can use a tan

Wasup Troy, i know you are not a pussy
Wanna go for a swim?

Yeah, actually the water looks pretty good
i could definitely go for a swim

Carl, How about you?

Dude no way!

Your loss

I guess we could get a tan, right?

I could do that

Eeww.. ugh... What's that smell?

You just took your shirt off

Did you bring a towel?

Yeah it's over there

Yeah! it feels pretty good
feels great

Carl you sure you don't want to come in?
Guys?

Positive.

Alright, you're missing out

No i'm not

Ladies!?

I like to eat food not be food

Come for a swim
No..

Come on!

What about you Carl?
I think you need to man up

No!

Come for a swim

No no come on man!

Yeah!!

No! No!

Put him down man
It's not cool!

No no no no no

Alright, you want me to put him down

no please!
Should i put him down?

please no

Mack! He can't swim!

Noo!

Guys he is drowning!

I can't...

Where did he go?

Carl!

Carl!

Oh my...

Pull him up!

What happened?

Something...
something pulled me under

What?

You are an asshole Mack

I was just trying to have a little fun

Hey! you almost killed him

Hey don't fucking touch me twink

That doesn't seem to stop you

Hey, i told him not to touch me

Hey! what the hell is going on here

You all had tasks to do

Mack threw Carl into the water and almost drowned him like an idiot

Bullshit! i was just playing around

Bullshit?

You guys have no business going into that water. There are gators in there.

I had my phone in my pocket man.
You have ruined it

It was the only one that even worked out here

I am sorry Carl, i was just fucking around man

Look i'll get paid on Friday, I will buy you a new phone okay?

look you gotta collect the fire wood from now on

Go!

Okay seriously, what was that?

i heard it what was that?

Its probably a wild boar

Come on

You think that was a hog?

Could have been a boar, bear, gator
i don't know anything

Panther

You want me to go and collect fire wood?
when there's panthers and bears out there all by myself

No man use the buddy system like i told you

Now shake hands and go

Seriously?
Come on!

Fine

You all good?

Yeah

Alright

Come on let's go

Hey, back in river today

I didn't expect all that shit to happen

You got to understand

Last thing i thought i'd be doing this weekend is hanging out with science club

But Professor Stein you know he called me in and gave me an ultimatum

Here i am

Yeah i know

Professor Stein gave me an ultimatum too
and he knows that today's the most

important game of my life and he still made me come here

It's the qualifier for the state finals which are tomorrow

I just hope my team can pull it off you know

They will man

I'm gonna go to that meeting
you coming?

Yeah.. i will be there in a minute
I am gonna wait for the rain

little bit

Alright bro

Glad you finally decided to join our mandatory meeting

you okay?

Yeah i am fine

you better not be high on dope either.

Well listen, that's a nest.
We found that around here last week

Really? cause this is the same type of nest that a gorilla would make

And a deer.

Look i am sorry. As a man of science
if you are implying that whole Big foot Legend

then you are being ridiculous

Professor take a look at this
Its a sample

Hair

It's primate hair
You see Professor i found one of those

in those "deer-nest" last week

As a man of science i look to find a truth

and the unknown..
That's enough

Let's not forget what we came here for

Look we'll start collecting samples first thing in the morning

Hopefully we're out of here by six or seven o'clock

Yes!

This place is kind of creepy at night
Don't you think?

Yeah. i feel like an Alligator is gonna come out of the bushes and

just drag us into the river or something crazy

Hey Theo

What was that...

Skunk ape stuff you and Professor were talking about when i went into the lab

Swamp apes
Swamp apes

That's what they call technically because they are not related to skunks

They have this horrible stench

You can always smell them because you see them

Have you ever seen one?

yeah

Once when i was six

Just once

Seriously?

Oh yeah.

It was at my house in the suburbs

just about a mile from here

Me and friend were playing in the backyard close to the woods

We looked up and there it was

staring right at us

Just a few yards away

It looked like this huge

Orangutan on two feet

With his piercing eyes

Then we heard this horrible crying sound come from the woods

And boom, took off, Gone!

Never saw it again

Told our parents
ofcourse nobody believed us

Thanks Theo.
Now i won't be able to sleep tonight

I will tell you what

Sometimes..when i am out here in the woods alone

Rubbing one out

i could still see it's eyes

Looking at me through the trees

Will you shut the hell up?

You are freaking me out!

Did you guys hear that?

Shut up...!!

i'm serious, i hear something

Oh my god

Shh..

You douche bag..

You are so gross

You guys smell that skunk ape?

Oh my God!

You wish if it smell that good

What?

Get outta here

Get out of here

Go... raccoon
Don't worry about them raccoons

Don't worry about Panthers either
I was just fucking with you all

Alright well..

See you bright and early tomorrow

Good night

You know what

i think those girls are going to stay up all night, scared of some farting apes.

Probably

Hey, let's go scare them

Yeah... but how though?

I don't know.. let's go over there, bang on the walls, making ape noises or something... you know

YO!

Cool let’s start ...monkeying around.
Alright

Ooh wait a minute
They are getting undressed

What? Guys i can't see anything
Come on lift me up or something please

Come on... let me see
Lift me up or something

Woah

Are they gonna get naked or what?

Dude i am finally gonna get to see boobs

Oh man

Com'on do something
Oh shit she's taking off the bra!

Guys i can't see
Help her out, help her out

Aaaahh.....Ughh!!!

Get out of the way!
Move!

Come on!
It's best part.. move!

She moves.. She moves

Aaahh! Man!

Let's do what we came here for

Alright. you bang on the window.
I will bang on the door, give me a count 1 2 3 go for it.

Tell us when you are ready

You ready?
Ready one two three!

Lets go! go!

You fucking assholes!

Aah! you bitch i think we have been hanging out too much, i think i am getting my periods too

It's not my fault
Aah!

You guys are late

Now listen up we got a work to do

Theo is gonna take you out and get samples from the study area

Is it far?

Not too far but we got a couple different
places to go though

It's gonna take all day
You are in for a big hike

Wait you are not coming with us?

I am too old for hiking

too out of shape

Alright did anybody packed Lunch?

I took care of it

Alright let's go!

Ants are biting me everywhere

Remember it guys, be sure to drink plenty of water at all times

We're in a wild here, keep a look out for rattlesnakes, spiders, poison ivy ehh.. ?

even quicksand
Quicksand?

I am serious and of-course the obvious gators

As far as samples go.
Scoop a little water off at the top here

and put it in here.
Be sure to label it with time, date and location

and do the same thing for the soil and the mud

Alright guys we're gonna split up right here.
Alright?

So umm... Troy Lilly you guys come with me
We will take east trail right there

And umm.. Mack, Anna Marie, Carl and Wendy
You guys take this north trail right here

Alright guys protect these ladies
I don't want to see them alone anywhere.. Okay?

Woa!

Alright. What time?
Two o'clock

Alright so who brought lunch?

I brought lunch for everybody.. sandwiches

you got turkey?

Of course

Alright great. You could just leave it right here
We will come back and get it

Okay

Alright let's go!

Alright mark this bad boy
Good idea

How about right over there

Seems like a good spot yeah!

Thanks

That was good right?

Yeah...

Should be good enough

Alright here you go Lilly
Thanks

So what about Anna Marie's doing right now
you know i bet she's off hanging...

Who cares?

I am sorry but you can't ride her coattails all the time
I mean she's not like a good role model.. you know

Yeah .. but she's my best friend
And she's beautiful

She's a.... She's not my type

Well.. what is your type?

Umm...
Have you guys seen Theo man

i mean its like so many mosquitos, i need the bud spray

Its something ridiculous out here

I am gotten eaten alive over here
There's gonna be nothing left in me

yeah yeah me too
God knows there's a lot in me

Let's go look for samples
Yeah

Oh my god this is so disgusting

Theo!

I am hungry..

I have to pee
Alright go pee.

Here you can use my wipes

Okay

Yooo..

Hey
Hey...

Wow.. hey how long this is been here?

About a month

I leave food out here all the time

I guess you guys found out about my research study

Whatever's taking it
It is big

and smart enough to not get caught

How the hell did you get this back here?

piece by piece my friend.

There's blood all over the bottom of the cage

I know...

This is supposed to be a non-fatal trap

i got to see the footage from last night and
see what we got

Is that a camera?
yeah.

Alright get in. Everyone see?

Wow...

Is that...

I can't believe it

Let's go come on!
Let's go get it.

What?

This is so nasty!

Mack are you watching me?

Anna Marie?

I wanna go home..

There was a raccoon just staring at me

Hmm.. you smell good

There they are

let's get some food i am hungry

The cooler should be right ahead with the sandwiches
i made umm....

Did somebody move the cooler?

i got to swear i put it right here

It's gone guys.. it's disappeared

Ooh i was really looking forward to that sandwich

Does anyone have any food they could share?

Wendy does.. she always has food.

No i don't ... Anna!

It’s all at camp.

Umm.. alright guys let's just hike back
the best we could do is have an early dinner alright?

Alright.

Alright guys we are almost there
Come on!

Wait wait wait
We are missing somebody

Who is it?
Wendy...

Where the hell is she?

Wendy!

Missing? how could you miss her?

Right.. yeah.. you are funny

Now seriously where is she?

Alright we gotta go back!

Wait but what if she goes back to camp and
we are out looking for her?

Me and Anna Marie would go back to get her

We are?
yeah.

Alright... Yeah

meet us back at camp, come on!
Okay.

Alright we will be back

Wha.. What's happening?
Wendy's missing Professor

It's always about a girl

You ain't lying Chief

Now i spend my time here with Alvin

Good company.. Quiet

Station come in.. this is Theo
I am at research camp

Go for station, Steve.

Steve.. one of our student went missing.
We last saw her on the northen trail

Description

yeah, she's college age, African-American
and uh....

Thick!

Yeah.

Copy that.

I wasn't going to pick you guys up for another hour or so but uh.. let me rush over there ASAP

Copy that. Thanks.

Gotta go

Later on boss man.

Now Troy.. i really need to make sure you get everybody at camp safe..

I gotta take care of something alright?

Okay you got it.

Wendy?

Wendy?

You know Wendy is back at camp

This is me and you out here

Heyy!!

I can take care of that

What?

No.. nothing
What is it?

I just thought there was.. more!

Ooh

Okay babe come here

Aah! ooh shit

Over here.

Okay now what was it?
i don't know

It's close... shhh.. shhh..

Wendy...

Shhh...

Noo...

I am stuck..

You got to pull yourself out

Holy Fuck!
I am sinking... Mack

Shit!

Come on! come on Steve

Troy... did Mack come back here with the others?

No, they didn't come back yet.

Steve shoud have been here by now

Anna... Anna Marie!

Steve!

Steve what are you doing?

Steve!

Holy shit.

Emergency! emergency help!
Ranger Steve is down!

Shit!

Woah ooh! It's me!
Where were you?

Where is Wendy?

uhh... the thing.. killed her... and uh..

What thing?

Here clear yourself up. I'll be back in a minute

You are gonna be alright.

No...

Guys don't run! whatever you do don't run!

Lilly go back into the cabin slowly

slowly..

Aaaaahh!

Carl.. Carl

Give me that

Push down on that

You will be alright

That was my jerkoff arm.

This is your fault, you involved my students
in your freak project

and now..
I didn't think this was gonna happen until..

Until what? you knew that thing was out there

I didn't.. i didn't know for sure.

and i didn't think it would hurt anybody

What happened to Anna Marie and Wendy?

Anna Marie is dead.. fucking thing killed her

It killed Wendy too

by the way Ranger Steve is dead too

His body washed up on the beach earlier

It's not my fucking fault

We are getting off this Island now

We can't get out of here without a boat

Look there's a sand bar alright, we can cross to mainland that way during low tide

It's.. Its gonna take about an hour

An hour?
Hour?

What choice do we have?

Carl is badly injured, he can't walk for an hour

We're gonna have to leave Carl

What?

Alone? but that.. that thing out there?

No..No way!

Just go guys.. just go

Just hide me in the cabin or something alright?

I'm only gonna slow you down.

That will help with the pain... Here you go buddy

Thanks

lay back.. lay back

Hey Carl.. here i brought you some Cheetos
they will give you strength

Aah.. i don't think cheetos are gonna...

Shh... save your strength

I think you're very very brave for staying here Carl

I am brave as long as you come back

Okay?

Man these are good.

Hmm.. go

Just go!

Get out of here.. go!

I don't think they are coming back

Damn.. my batteries are dead

don't worry. we will share mine.
Thanks

Sorry.

Help me.... help me

Mack! Theo!
Lilly!

Anna Marie.. oh my God!

i thought you were dead

How long have you been in here?
i don't know

oh my God are you okay? Did you get hurt?

No
Are you? oh my god

Is he gonna fucking...
This is all your fault

because you have fucking period!

It's not my fault Anna Marie

Oh my god we have to get out of here

i don't know what to do i really wanna get out

wait wait
What?

This place looks familiar
Hey guys there's one of my tree mark

It's over there

My stuff.. Ooh man there is where me and
Anna Marie. We were gonna.. and then that

the beast...

Nah.. i didn't even save her man.
He threw me like a little bitch

It's not your fault

This means we are closer to the sand bar.
Now i don't see any signs of Lilly or the other girl

Well then we keep making our way off the island

If we can't find her, the authorities will find her.
That's their Job

Scew you man we are not leaving without her
Hey!

Hey hey save it man

Cause we are gonna kill that mother freaky
monkey fucker

yeah

GO!

He's gonna eat us
No.. no

what is that..

No!!

No!!

Hey what was that? that came from over there
It's Ana Marie she's alive. Lets go!

Ana Marie

Lilly.. you okay?

Where's Anna Marie?

He killed her... he's just uhh..

i don't know where she is

Anna!

You!

Mack! what is he doing?

Close the door Troy.. it's already over

Mack get your ass out of there

Mack! Mack!
Lets go out of here... let's go!

Aah! aah!

We have to cross.
No no there's turds in the punch bowl.

i guess we have to find another way across.
Come on!

Look
There's a boat

Let's use it
Oh my god

Wait what about Carl?

What about him?
We can't just leave him here

I will go back and get him
by yourself?

It's fine i think He's locked in the cage
I will be okay

I will be back
Hurry up, five minutes!

Woah!

Look there's Troy
Get in the boat, that thing is coming

Come on let's go
Come on!

Carl's dead?

Theo!

Come back!

Aa...

Theo!

Look the airboat station

We got to get out

Swim... swim fast

Troy

Lilly!
Troy uhh... aah!

Troy

Come on where is the van?

Come on! come on!
Shhh...

He's gonna get us.. we need to go now!

go go go
Oh my god

Do you see him?
i don't see him

Lets go fucking outta here

i think we made it

Come on Troy. we got to go
We got to go

Get out. Lets go!

You saved our lives
I did.

you okay?

I warned you of the danger and you paid me no heed

Now look what happened
It wasn't our fault we..

Of course it was your fault

And this youngling doesn’t need to speak to let me know you’ve physically assualted him as well

Theo just wanted to prove it existed

it was only a matter of time before his sneakiness destroyed everything

Your society is doing the same thing to the
Esti Capcaki species

that it’s been does to all other species

Pushing them out, Destroying there way of life

We are sorry

If you are truly sorry, you will help me lift this precious creature into the boat

Is he.. Is he still alive?

He's only knocked out
You are in no danger now anyway

The blood moon is over.
This was his time to find a mate.

and be free

Tell no one what happened here

Oh my gosh