Svatby pana Voka (1971) - full transcript

Lord Vok's Weddings

My dearest, my love...

Up there... ghosts... Or bats!

Yeah, in your belfry!

The miller's wife's got a man in there.

- Again?

What is it, you fool?

Nothing, it's up there...

Where... there? Oh, there!

You wait, I'll show you...

just you wait...

Ouch, old man!

- I'll give you what for, old man, you...

Out of the way!

Open up, you slut!

Rolling about at this time of the day!

Got nothing better to do?

Who's in there with you?

How did this happen?

I gave him such a lot of beer.

I'll kill him!

Where is my gun?

And they say all millers

are merry chaps.

You must away, dearest.

- But how?

Through the window.

Is there no other way?

- That's no problem for you, my knight!

I'm used to walking

through the front door.

No, he'll kill you!

- I wouldn't like that.

Rolling about,

you slut!

Open up!

Where did you hide him?

Can't you talk, you witch?

- Don't you dare touch a lady, you boor!

I didn't know you could swim,

your Lordship.

Neither did I.

Simon, did you notice that commoners

make such a fuss about nothing?

Lord Peters guardian angel

has a busy round

saving him time and time again.

Neither virgin nor matrons safe

when Vok's around

he just repeats his old refrain:

Prepare the carriages,

we'll have a feast,

when they stretch us out

it'll be too late.

Throw back the blankets,

loosen your belt,

before the death-knell

seals our fate.

Throw back the blankets,

loosen your belt,

before the death-knell

seals our fate.

...seals our fate...

Hilda caught a much worse cold from you.

Don't lose hope,

my tonsils hurt.

You could have a beauty of a sore throat

tomorrow.

Look, my tongue isn't at all any more.

Unbelievable, they say

flu is a mortal sickness

for an Oriental.

You bad boy. You won't give Arana

even a little's flu.

Haven't I been to see you?

- Not for month.

Oh no!

- Just a look!

Don't look!

Actually, you're right!

Two pages got stuck together.

Miss Arana? No.

Miss Arana? Yes.

And a double helping.

By the way, ladies, have I told you

that Emperor Rudolph has been wetting

his bed since he's eleven?

Your Lordship, the Burgrave

wants to see you

on a very pressing

matter.

Such tireless reading of your poetry

to the ladies

is surely bad for your health.

Drink it up!

Don't force me to hand you over

to the hangman.

I have become accustomed to your faults.

Why should I get used to somebody new.

Cyril!

I don't see why I should see

the Burgrave after dinner,

when he's already bothered me

sufficiently before breakfast.

Who's that rosebud?

Little Hannah, an orphan.

Oh... orphan.

Your Lordship, I felt sorry for her.

I was moved by her bitter fate.

You scoundrel, you abducted the child.

You Lordship,

the father drowned at some unknown spot,

the mother ran off

with some unknown man.

That's enough.

You'll break my sensitive heart.

What do we do with her?

- The wine is ready.

Your talents don't have the right scope

in my respectable house.

You should enter service

with the Hapsburgs.

That's the right house for a poisoner.

Just one grain each.

Even though they displeased me today

I won't have them get a belly-ache.

My ladies, this goblet of wine

goes down like a wink.

No... what a pity...

Bless you.

- Thank you.

Marie!

- Yes...

You son-of-a-bitch,

you've put as asleep again.

Last time with tea,

before that with soup

and today with the wine.

She is asleep. And standing up, too!

What a bread!

Sit her down.

But the morning after!

She'll box our ears, both of us.

- Really...

And shell beat me up.

Life, dear Cyril,

is not all merrymaking.

Have you noticed that we get tired

of the most charming woman

once we know her well?

I protest, they wouldn't let me in.

I simply have to tell you, your Lordship

The worry won't let me eat to sleep.

I don't get much sleep either.

- Yes, but...

The ladies are taking a nap

before going to bed.

But your Lordship, but...

I hope it's not unpleasant news.

I'm neck high in unpleasantries.

But they could still rise up to here.

What I'm about to tell you...

Don't, let's solve problems here,

we'll have peace in my study.

You're so inconsiderate of my person, you could at least show consideration.

This is my twentieth handkerchief today.

I'm going to use a towel.

- Your ponds are the cause.

Listen...

...Simons dupery, I suppose.

Do you hear, your Lordship? Asthma.

All those ponds, the morning fogs!

An unbearable climate?

If it were only the climate.

Yes, one could move away,

there are worse things...

Were stony broken, your Lordship!

We! Surely it's I who's broke.

You are not that incompetent a bailiff

that you are broke too, surely.

What are you thinking of me,

your Lordship?

Cyril!

Offer the Burgrave a little wine!

Our very best!

You have managed my financial affairs

badly, if we are destitute.

I? Well really, your Lordship.

You made enormous debts in Prague...

I beg your pardon...

...without my knowledge.

But the worst is that the Emperor

has taken the matter in hand.

I had a note from our Prague trustee.

The Emperor has given permission

for the city

to issue a warrant

against Lord Peter Vok, nobleman.

He's done what?

If you drove through the Prague gate

you could be thrown

into the debtors prison.

What an impertinence.

How dare that Hapsburg do such a thing?

As if I were a robber knight

or something!

That calls for revenge,

and I'm going to pay him out.

Act with discretion, your Lordship.

Discretion?

Did he show discretion?

The Emperor is a sourpuss, your Lordship.

Your last practical joke in Linz,

when you borrowed his carriage by mistake,

didn't make him laugh at all.

I'll teach him to laugh.

Drink up, don't sip it like a sissy.

This is dreadful. A stroke!

Oh no, just a mistake.

You know, this isn't the first time!

What's all that trumpeting about?

I can't hear a thing, your Majesty.

- That's good.

That would be unconscionable considering

I'm travelling incognito.

Would you find out where we are?

We are approaching the inn

where lunch awaits us.

Who?

- Lunch.

It's very unpleasant...

...being an Emperor.

I shall make myself ill

before Ive made the round of my Empire.

I hope you'll be satisfied.

Your honoured father, Emperor Maximillian,

dined here on his way from Vienna.

He died of a stomach ulcer.

- What? That smorgasboard?

- What? That smorgasboard?

What does it mean?

- Co? Ta tabule?

Who gave you permission?

- The Emperor, I should say. ? Can't you read? The Emperor, I should say.

The Emperors sitting in that carriage.

Who's that?

Duck your head into cold water.

Open the gate.

What is it?

Very unpleasant occurrence,

your Majesty.

Somebody has dared to pretend...

...to be the Emperor. That's nothing new.

The last time that happened...

- In Linz.

In Linz. I begin to tire

of Rozmberks silly jokes.

Start thinking.

Vok is no clairvoyant.

He must have set up a...

...a spy amongst us.

- A spy amongst us, don't prompt me...

who divulged our plans.

In your own interest

you must unveil him,

otherwise I could be led to think

that you're incompetent

as to matters of our...

- Crown, your Majesty.

Crown.

That man is sure to have a good heart

and I assume he offered all he could

to that Emperor.

You're willing to roll in the hay

with anybody!

That scoundrel wasn't the Emperor

at all.

If he wasn't, he should be.

You certainly arranged this well.

I am deeply ashamed.

- Why, this is quite entertaining.

And healthier than smelly mutton.

If it weren't for Vok,

I'd have no idea how delectable

such a fresh strawberry can be.

I admire your forbearance, your Majesty.

How dare that Vok...

He'll stop laughing all right.

I shall call all the Czech noblemen to...

To Vienna.

- To Prague.

We shall see how he'll get

through the city gates.

In disguise, most certainly.

I know that too.

But you should know what disguise.

If he has spies, we must have them too.

You can depend on me, your Majesty.

- I have no choice, do I.

Put those papers away.

Were not holding office in a meadow.

I would only like to bring

to your notice

the case of Katerina of Ludanice,

orphan.

Her guardians want to take

her inheritance.

The case is so complicated,

that only the monarch can decide it.

The programme you have in store for me

seems to be very amusing.

You'll take this book

to the Celestien cloister.

Father Ignatius will fetch it,

he is father confessor

to Emperor Rudolph.

I understand, your Majesty.

His Lordship is tired.

But the bairmaids full of life.

Curiosity and the longing for change

are the strongest instincts of Man.

A typical example -

the migration of nations.

But you wouldn't understand.

Or the transmigration of souls.

That's what I don't understand.

Sometimes I long to run out

into the park,

to roam about in dewy meadow,

to warm my heart on a sunny glade.

You liar! Dewy meadow, glade - my foot!

But you're a regular customer

at the inns,

mills even at the knackers yard!

Now then, ladies, do stop!

I would never make hay

of your very doubtful reputations.

What is it son?

I have a Holy Book for Father Ignatius.

Which one?

- His Imperial Majestys confessor.

Father Ignatus?

Confessor to His Majesty

Emperor Rudolph.

What's up?

Your Grace!

What's up?

Why wake me?

- Were arrived at Lord Williams.

Well, fancy that!

And why are we here?

You wanted to talk to your brother.

And we right in the courtyard?

Do you think theyve seen us yet?

- Her Ladyships has, definitely.

I hope my dear sister-in-law

is tactful enough to keep out of my way.

Forgive me, my Lord,

for bothering you at this unusual hour.

A pleasant interruption of my problems.

Take my coat into the bedroom...

Is there anything wrong?

He is here again. That dreadful man.

I don't understand how he

can be your brother.

I hope, my love,

that you will try to overcome

your aversion this time.

You can go.

I am depending on your tact.

That you won't start telling him

what you think of him.

No, I won't.

I prefer to spend the time

that sinner is here

in reading the biographies

of the saints.

I can apologies for your absence,

a slight indisposition.

A more

than slight indisposition.

My first love,

I shall never forget you.

- You liar.

Hows our holy dragon doing?

- She said he's going to pray.

With one ear stuck to a curtain,

for sure.

Brother!

Forgive me.

You look great.

All thanks to Anna Maria, I'm sure.

Sometimes I envy you

those peaceful nights

of sleep and sleep alone.

But where is my dear sister-in-law?

She begs to be excused.

She is suffering a slight...

...well, a sudden indisposition.

- Ah, these ladies!

I hope it didn't come on suddenly

when she heard my carriage.

A beautiful map.

Surely you're not meaning to wage war?

You're studying the battle-fields.

Ah, grand times!

Here at Sighet our brother-in-law

Nicholas Zrinsky

made his fame

an illustrious warrior!

Whilst your war didn't take you further

than the cellars of Znojmo.

Don't remind me of the Moravian wines!

For three months

I had heart-burn at night.

It was a good job the truce

made in time.

Take a seat.

That's what I should be telling you.

I have to tell you why I'm here.

I have no money.

In that case you won't be out of pocket.

A glass of milk is good for you.

I was bled dry through

the political campaign in Poland.

I always told you

that was no business proposition.

It could have been.

I had the Crown of Poland within reach.

Only my loyalty to the Hapsburgs...

Why the grand phrases?

It didn't work out, did it.

I have pondered

over your unpleasant position.

The Emperor is angry.

He is taking sides with your creditors.

The traps are set, theyll snap to any day now.

- They won't get their way in a hurry.

Do you know what I shall do?

I shall go and fight in the war.

I shall whack those Turkish devils

to smithereens.

I shall seize their treasures and become

the richest man in Europe.

You idealist. You think

the Sultan drags his treasures about?

A few weary odalisgues, at most.

Well then, I'll raid his seraglio.

Dear God, what a hero!

- A hero? A whoremonger?

Do pull yourself together, Peter.

You're all at sixes and sevens.

Youve started building

two beer breweries, several ponds,

youve finished nothing

and have no returns.

You're leading.

You need money. Soon a lot of it.

Not even I could put it

into better words.

Have you ever thought,

of getting married?

Ever? Day and night I think of it.

I don't think of much else.

Marriage, that's my dream.

But when I see all your wives

dying on you...

You always manage to get over it,

but I, with my delicate disposition...

My heart could break.

Poor Lord Peter.

If you don't stop I'll slosh you one,

so that you have reason to cry.

That's the milk.

It doesn't do that to you?

Unfortunately,

in addition to their dowry

women bring the queerest ideas

into marriage.

For example my previous wife...

Zofinka? Your sweetest mistake.

But Anna Marie...

She excels in her many virtues.

She is so chaste...

I beg your pardon?

A slightly sore throat.

...so continent, that the intercourse

you have in mind is in her eyes absolutely...

Disgusting.

- Yes.

How do you know?

Poor girl.

At your age common sense should win

over profligacy and passion.

I have several suggestions to make.

For example...

Will you kindly listen, this is serious.

You've changed your mind,

you'll give me a loan.

Princess Louise Crescensi Isabella Pia.

That's enough, what about her?

All the women in that family

are a bit... Sorry.

Sorry, I forgot she is related

to your wife.

This is why all your diplomatic missions

had to be unsuccessful.

- I beg your pardon!

You haven't understood the reason

for my visit.

I came to invite you to my wedding.

- I didn't know you were engaged.

Neither does she. Maybe I'll have

an opportunity to tell her in time.

Will you kindly talk seriously!

- I never talk any other way.

You are scandalized.

But you don't know I'm courting

Katerina of Ludanice.

Do you know her?

- I have never seen her.

The crazy whimsy of an elderly Don Juan.

- I beg your pardon!

I see nothing crazy in the matter.

A weddings a fine opportunity

to make somebodys acquaintance.

She is hardly fifteen years old.

- I didn't know that.

Katerina is an orphan.

- The more I hear the better I like her.

I have a soft spot for orphans lately.

Yes, well, that is the proper word.

They have a much more liberal tendency

to sin

than those cold windows of yours.

But she's only a child.

I feel the call

to introduce children into life.

And besides, I hear

that in spite of an education

she has retained her common sense.

What if she doesn't want you?

- Isn't it enough that I want her?

What about her guardians?

I'll make short suit of them.

I'll string them up on the nearest trees,

carry Katerina off

and make love to her every day.

Really?

- Well, every other day.

Hes poet.

Why aren't you a poet,

I want no check from you, you trollop!

You have no idea, dear brother,

how fine I feel after having seen you.

Please ask your virtuous wife

to praying for me.

For my wide duties even I need

the Lords blessing.

Don't rejoice, she only fainted.

What's happening?

The gentry are all running round

the garden with bits of smoky glass.

A solar eclipse

Doesn't happen every day.

I don't see anything.

And anyway, that is Gods omen.

His Majesty is the support

of the Holy Church. I will not allow...

His Majesty hankers after knowledge.

- But not the false doctrines of Kopernik.

Would you like a little besmudging too?

Do something, doctor,

give the Emperor something,

so that he can join the party.

Oatmeal soup is the best thing

for diarrhoea.

Have some made, then!

Get out of the way, out of the way...

You too.

It's good thing there isn't

a solar eclipse daily.

Or wed die of hunger.

Take it away!

I can't bear the sight more medicine.

My bowels are still writhing

from this morning's lot.

Full yourself together, your Majesty.

It's only a little belly ache.

A bid belly ache.

Everything the Emperor has is big.

What did we eat at the Lobkowitzs?

I bet it was the salmon?

The venison was smelly too,

my tums like a drum.

My hare's foot! Nanny Emily!

My hare's foot!

Here, my sunshine,

this old head of mine forgets.

You are the only one...

The eclipse, gentlemen, the eclipse.

The girl sitting between those two

peers, that is she, your Majesty.

The child of a nobleman who, when dying,

entrusted her into the care

of the Imperial Crown.

This country amazes me not only

with the impertinence of the living,

but also the audacity of the dead.

- He died in the wars with the Turks,

a true hero.

With leg hacked off he attacked...

You know very well that wars

don't impress me.

He was your Imperial fathers General,

Majesty.

Yes, he liked that sort of thing.

He arranged all that butchery

to evade the balls

my mother arranged.

The girls needs a supporter.

Her guardians do not awake confidence.

Just take a good look at them.

Dreadful, not even the hares foot...

Well, when is to begin?

I beg to announce that the solar eclipse

has just finished.

So that I...

Ehm... missed it, your Majesty.

Damn it all, this hay will suffocate me.

Why are we suffering, your Lordship?

Because I don't like buying a pig

in a poke.

I don't know why you talk about a rabbit,

when she has a goose in her coat of arms.

And why do you keep convincing me Sir,

that you must be the densest head

in the kingdom.

What if she has legs like a goat?

- I wouldn't care,

skirts hide her legs,

but what if shes carroty.

Just shows you never had one.

I'll tell you gentlemen...

- Leave off.

Can that singer sing?

- There's gold in his throat.

I recognised your charming appearance,

I live in self-denial.

A caressing song resonates in my heart.

Watch.

Just for you, just for you

I'm pleasantly surprised.

But what has that angel got in her hand?

It looks like a brick.

A noble woman-with a brick?

Any more stupid idea?

- I think it's a book.

The devil cooked this one up.

Let's hope she hasn't read too much.

She'll be reading you some lectures,

your Lordship!

The end of the song.

On the contrary, gentleman,

nothing arouses an innocents interest

in a man as much as gossip

about his sinful life.

The greater the defamation,

the more to lead the sinner

back to grace.

An armoured attack.

From the left wing.

Metodej!

What wake me?

There was a mound of hay here

and it's gone.

If it's gone, we must have loaded it up.

Oh yeah.

- Oh yeah.

It would be here if we hadn't.

- Yeah.

Let's drink and let's drink,

fill it up to the brink

for rhyme or reason.

Let's drink while there's time!

Then the Devil with us.

Then the Devil with us.

Am I to dry up like a herring?

Who ate up my radish?

- You're keeping me on short ration!

Mind, it's full.

There now!

Get him up!

Aren't you ashamed of yourself!

A body like a bulls

and can take less than a flea.

Madonna mia, he break up my instrument!

Shut up and stop bothering me.

It doesn't play anyway.

Moment, moment, le premier granduc,

I play you Barcarola Veneziana...

magnifique, magnifique

What are you thinking of,

giving up your freedom?

A real man

doesn't get married to lose

his freedom, but to again it.

Freedom without money is a term

enveloped in fog.

Yeah, money...

Your army needs those...

tin thing for their heads.

Spend the dowry on armour?

That I won't allow!

What if the war ends in the meantime?

A waste of money.

Nonsense. We must buy arm,

even if we had nothing to eat.

One war ends, another begins.

You bastard! This is water!

What have you done to me, signora!

My contertino is bye-bye!

You drank up my high C!

Sheriff Smrk!

My art! Sir!

I beg to report...

Let's go over our plan.

- Yes, Sir!

You find out where Her Ladyship Katerina

likes to take a drive.

I'm taking it down.

If you mess it up like the siege

of Shoprona...

Actually, then nothing more important

was at issue

than victory or defeat.

Igen.

But this will decide

on my life's happiness

that's to say money...

I'll throw you out

and you can earn your living by working.

Yeah, it's as easy as pie.

I find a nice bend...

I find a nice bend,

stick my man into the bush,

my man jumps out and...

Inconspicuously.

That too. We pulls the linchpin

out of their wheel. Inconspicuously.

And the girl takes a fall,

but conspicuously.

Sorry, I meant inconspicuously.

Another draught, Cyril.

I have an idea.

We shall be passing by just then,

by chance,

I hasten forwards to give

beautiful Katerina a helping hand.

I introduce myself...

Or should I not introduce myself?

I introduce myself and say:

Do you know these regions, my Lady?

I do, kind knight. I live here.

- That's right.

Could you tell me the name

of this beautiful tree?

But that's Pine.

- Here.

It doesn't concern you.

I'm asking her about that tree.

What else would I be conversing on,

considering were in a forest.

That's fast progress, your Lordship,

like Adam in paradise.

It's very clever indeed.

I should say.

I must admit

it's a co-production

with a certain Ovid,

a poet of the Roman morass.

My apologies, your Lordship, for my

reproaches concerning your library.

I once had to take to my bed

and admit that even I waded

through a book.

Either they're sitting gabbing

somewhere, or that comedian chap lied.

They should have passed through

long ago.

Climb in, well take a short cut!

The chair!

Come on, get up!

One, two and three.

Let's drink and let's drink,

fill it up to the brink

for rhyme or reason.

Let's drink while there's time!

Then the Devil with us!

They're catching us up!

Hey, my man, are hurt?

No.

Can you hold on a bit longer

on that tree?

The branch you can't see

has pierced my side.

A bump!

Wait a minute!

Open up, somebody!

A drink!

Water!

I don't think so.

I happened to be passing by.

Isn't it odd?

Normally you should introduce us.

Or somebody else would introduce us.

But as you seem to be slightly

indisposed,

I shall introduce myself.

Katerina of Ludanice.

Peter Vok of Rozmberk

Really, that's you?

How did you imagine I would look?

Actually, yes.

This is just about how I imagined you.

You're bleeding.

- I shall bleed to death any minute now.

Do you know these regions, Lord Vok?

Well yes, indeed.

Do you know what this magnificent tree

is called?

Do you mean this knee-bracken?

It's bound to be...

...some fruit tree.

A cherry tree or a beach.

Did you by any chance have to take

to your bed for any stretch of time?

No, why?

So.

I knew a nobleman who ended up quite

an education man

because of his protracted illness.

Cupid pierced his heart of stone

It's love till death us do part.

Messengers ride up with gifts

for the lady of his heart

I can but add my part.

Prepare the carriages

we'll have a feast,

when they stretch us out

it'll be too late.

Throw the blankets

loosen your belt,

before the death knell

seals our fate.

Your favourite delicacy, your Lordship.

Boiled lobster.

Do you have to stuff yourself

when his Lordships suffering?

No more sighs.

I must confess

that virtuous Katerina's condition

that I give up my harem

has greatly perturbed me.

The situation is devastating,

but I don't see

why it should also be serious.

I have found an ideal solution.

You won't get married, your Lordship.

Not at all, my faithful Simon.

On the contrary,

lots of us will get married.

I have decided, dear ladies,

to marry of you.

You're getting on in years,

you've seen life,

you have learnt many an art from me,

you are so clever

that you'll plan your lives

so that somebody else

does the work for you.

You will of course each one of you

get an adequate dowry

nothing exorbitant,

but quite worthwhile.

And with the Lords blessing

I can be God-father

to all your children.

You scoundrel! You've had enough of us,

we're not posh enough! You bastard!

Let go, I'll scratch his eyes out!

I have a peaceable solution.

We can poison them off.

A novelty, from Western Flanders.

You would do it?

Your Lordship, for your sake

I even wash my neck.

Well marry the ladies off to some

bumpkins...

To decent, upright men, of course.

You must understand how noble an act

this is, ladies.

His Lordship has devoted nearly

all his free time to your education.

The man who wins such a girl

has won a true gem.

I am glad you don't drool

like a poet but answer like a good,

decent man.

I always had a very special liking

for you

and that is why you'll have

first choice.

Me?

- You, my boy, you.

On my noble benefactor,

it is indeed a great honour,

bur permit me to explain my views

on marriage.

Whatever you say will be as useful as

trying to break an eel over your knee.

What a fuss! His Lordship thinks you...

and now you can...

- Well said.

Well said, but...

- Like I said.

And which one am I supposed to...

If I may aid your happiness with a hint,

marry the one you know best.

Will you permit your fatherly friend

a delicate question?

With which one of you

has Simon ever...

...studied poetry?

Are you a much successful poet

than I would have thought.

You haven't only my friend,

but also my silent partner.

Marie,

you put your hand up first.

And don't look so sour.

Ah yes, the dowry,

what shall I give her?

I don't have much to give away.

The inn at Sevetin, that's not mine,

that gold mine on the road

from Linz to Prague.

How can we repay you, your Lordship?

My sweetie.

No time for gratitude just now,

we have other things on hand.

Maybe well come up

with something pleasant.

Be his muse for the time being.

Well, that's that for the muse,

now a bit of war.

But your Lordship, I'm impotent.

Absolutely.

Quite an advantage in married life.

- And I have delirium tremens.

Great! Hilda!

No also!

You'll be in the right hands,

my dear chap.

If he gets more idiotic than is

tolerable you can take over his command.

Excellent!

An armour would suit you right well.

To become the Burgrave's wife

isn't a bad match either.

Let's see the couple you'd make.

I'm three times a widower,

your Lordship.

Don't worry, it won't happen this time.

I know, your Lordship,

I don't care which one.

I like your calm resignation, my boy.

But there is no hurry.

I'll keep you in reserve.

And now a list of man,

particularly those with a stain

on their past.

They won't be able to kick

so effectively.

The man with a demanding wife at home

can't afford to lose his strength

in rebellion.

The true rulers art

lies in the incessant

of the unlinkeable.

Whom God has joined may man

rend asunder.

You must be joking, your Lordship.

This is just your sport, isn't it.

Never have I been more serious.

You stole ten cartloads of coal

sold it. You stole ten cartloads of coal and secretly sold it round the Douc

That's idle gossip.

It wasn't ten.

Even if only five it would be enough

to put into the stocks.

It will never happen again,

your Lordship.

I hope not.

That is why I'm giving you a virtuous

wife, who will not let you err.

Take her under your roof.

What are we doing, your Lordship? Weddings

without banns? How will I answer for it?

Just ad you'll answer

for all your other sins, my man of God.

But that's not a girl for the forest.

I'll chase her out, I'll...

- Id calm down, if I were you.

Her name is Ursula.

I say, bread with a stuffing!

Impudent gossip

about our most noble of Emperors!

And full of spelling mistakes, too!

As if there's an i at the end of imbecile!

- We are self-made men, your Lordship.

We missed out a lot at school.

- We shall have to catch it up.

You must be psychic.

I have brought you

two excellent teachers.

God Almighty, please look elsewhere.

There's is nothing interesting here.

Hands up! Gold, money?

Get a move on!

You used to be the top entertainment

number in my forests.

Only three of you left?

Jacob and Adalbert own pubs now.

And rob travellers quite publicly.

You have so much money

that it is high time

somebody found a charming way

to help you spend it.

I've heard of your goings-on

in Sobeslav, Mayor.

You've even defrauded orphans fund.

My wife died and the death

of that beloved soul

gave me the inspiration to found

a hospital in town.

You've built no hospital.

- But I wanted to.

Do you know how his Lordship

should punish you?

Your nose tells plainly

where the money went.

I hope you did the guzzling

in my breweries.

Your Lordship!

- You'll go to the dogs. - What will become of you, you'll go to the dogs.

I'll mend my ways. I'll go

to a hermitage and life an ascetic life.

No indeed. One evil to be chased out

by another.

Thank heavens

that I look after my people.

Her name is Arana and she longs

for a child.

But she won't be bothering you

with her problem.

About turn!

...left turn!

May I ask one question, your Lordship?

Who is getting married?

You are, but you'll have to jump

off the horse for a moment.

Quite a job, these weddings of mine.

And there's my wedding still in store for us.

You have no aches and pains?

My soul causes me to suffer,

your Lordship.

Don't worry,

I'll settle in with the Lord.

I'll build a poor-house.

I'll get a new roof

for the Bechyne church.

Or should I add

two hectares from my estates

to the vicarage grounds?

I shall pray, your Lordship,

that God doesn't arrive

at a bad interpretation of your rather

odd handling of the seventh sacrament.

Ah, the beers here!

Forgive us, your Lordship,

the sacristans a clumsy clot.

That's all right. Have some too.

This used to be a paradise.

Rosalie my cook was an angel.

The Lord called her to him.

- Maybe he was bored.

For the beautification of His throne.

And I was left to suffer

that fool of a sacristan.

Simon!

Deeply have I pondered

how to reward your superhuman devotion.

What God has taken will be given back

by your new housekeeper.

Come closer, dear child!

I have consecrated my life

to St. Aloysius.

Really, and this is Aloisie.

Oh my!

Your name is Aloisie?

Well, take your coat off, Loisie dear.

You must be uncomfortable

in all those clothes.

Why don't you have some too?

- I can't, your Lordship.

What's wrong?

- Id get drunk on my repentance.

Don't start crying, come on.

I know now that you love me...

...best.

Because I saved you from matrimony?

You love me best and I don't deserve it.

Kill me.

Listen, you've stole something.

Don't ask me, for God's sake.

You rogue, I'm beginning to suspect

You've really been up

to some villainy.

Stab me.

I can't go on.

I beg you to, your Lordship.

I may even kill you

if you beg me nicely.

But first speak up.

I've given away your disguise

for your journey to Prague.

For your audience with the Emperor.

Whom did you tell?

I don't know them

some men from the chancellery.

You let out that I'm to travel

in Cardinals garb?

I'm a villain, your Lordship.

Imperial gold! Get up!

What will you do with me, your Lordship?

I don't know yet.

Can you forgive me?

I'm afraid I must.

Where would I find

a baddie as capable as you?

But remember

that you mustn't do it again.

And if you do, then for more money.

Stop!

Whose carriage is that?

- You fool, can't you see the coat-of-arms?

I'm driving her Ladyship from Pernstejn.

Please don't make a draft,

I could catch cold.

Forgive me, Princess, orders are orders.

- You'll be on your way at once.

I should hope so.

- Off you go!

Giddy up!

We have the right of free entry.

- It's the Cardinal.

His Grace is on a diplomatic mission.

- We know, a secret mission.

That's why we're waiting for him.

- Here is the imperial safe-conduct-order.

That's an old one.

What is it?

I must ask you to come

to the guard-room.

How dare you...

- I would advise you not to resist.

It is an order from the highest places.

- I am an envoy from the Holy See.

I am Cardinal Stefani.

- Come along, come along!

Let go!

I shall lodge a complaint!

This impertinence will cost you dear...

You know your orders.

Ou, oh, oh no no no...

He's late, let's hope

they haven't caught him.

Weve been through a worse mess

then this one.

Women really are long-suffering dears.

I shall never allow Katerina

to wear these beastly things.

Has she arrived?

- A catastrophe, you Lordship.

She is not lodging at Lord Vchynskis,

they stuck her in with the Lords of Hradec.

And that Lord of Hradec

is devious bastard.

He's set up guards in the garden,

and dogs.

And her windows are above the bear-pit.

A rather unpropitious position.

What will we do all night long?

Thanks to our contacts

in the Emperors camp.

I have the address of a certain...

No no no no,

I do not care for entertainment now,

before my wedding.

But she's the Emperors mistress.

That's different, of course.

In that case

a little night-time adventure

is more of a duty than a sin.

Here I can't... Nor here...

Where did I put it?

From the Pope.

Did you call, your Majesty?

The white check-mates

with the third move.

Well...

Are you white or black?

How can I be black, when I want to

check-mate with the white?

Yes, of course...

...very difficult.

You don't have a Queen.

You too, Brutus.

Everybody's reproaching me

for not having a wife.

I'd rather listen to some gossip.

It is not my habit, your Majesty,

but permit me to tell you

about Katerina.

You promised. I wouldn't have to hear

about that orphan again.

- You won't be bothered about anything.

The young lady is

in rather a piquant position.

She means to get engaged.

What's piquant about that!

Lord Vok is wooing her.

Are you sure?

He thinks a lot of himself,

she could be his grand-daughter.

Don't you find it -

a little ridiculous?

Even more ridiculous

than you think, your Majesty.

You see, he is reckoning

with marrying money.

With his debts that's quite logical.

- But that's what's so piquant about the story.

You see, her fortune...

- Has evaporated.

Exactly. Those two noblemen...

- Have plucked the gosling clean.

A clever simile.

And Vok?

- Hasn't an inkling of how matters stand.

Today he is to ask for her hand

in marriage.

If I understand correctly,

you seem to be recommending

that I give them permission to marry.

A magnificent piece of knavery.

If he arrives for his audience,

of course.

He may be spent

after his colloquy at the city gate

Excuse me, Your Majesty.

It has just come to pass.

At the Vysehrad gate-way.

I hope they were humane.

Your wishes are always fulfilled

to the letter.

Really?

The white moves,

and check-mates with the third move.

So you're here at last, Lord Vok.

They were saying

that we may not be seeing you.

One mustn't believe everything, friend.

If you knew what they say about you!

What sort of a journey did you have,

brother?

Very entertaining.

I have just been talking to Katerina.

- Good heavens.

You don't deserve me playing

the fiery partisan.

That I do not deserve.

I'm terrified of the thought that

I could be burnt to death by your fire.

Excuse me, brother,

the call of duty.

Would you like to buy something?

- I dislike embarrassing scenes.

These stall-keepers

are very useful people.

What else would one bring back

from an audience

if one didn't buy some trinket here.

Beautiful workmanship. Lovers.

How tenderly he holds her hand!

The image of me.

In my earlier youth.

Did you think of me?

- And you?

Incessantly.

I listened to my heart for advice,

I talked to my brother,

to my creditors.

I fulfilled all your conditions.

I am glad to hear that.

The Emperor is in good humour.

He is actually smiling.

They probably told him that I am here.

And he doesn't even know

that I mean to ask permission to marry.

You mean to get married?

- Yes. Do you mind?

I mean to say this:

Dear Katerina, do you have the desire

and the courage to become my wife?

This very night.

- You mean...

I am moved, I really am,

but you don't know how strictly

you are guarded.

Please understand I am a man of dignity,

too much so, unfortunately

to allow me to climb walls at night,

to sidle along window ledges...

and to be torn asunder by wild dogs.

That would be lovely,

but don't worry, I'll visit you.

That's impossible...

- You don't want me?

On the contrary, Id be happy,

in my seventh heaven,

there is nothing I long for more,

but I happen to be busy tonight.

I have rented a carriage and had

the Imperial coat-of-arms put on.

Nobody would stop such a carriage.

I shall dress up as a man, but I expect

you to behave as towards a lady.

Aren't you afraid of a hold-up?

- I have my pistols and when I get furious

I'm capable of scratching

somebody's eyes out.

Are you looking forward to life together?

- I'm burning with impatience.

Mr Bohuslav Felix

Hasistejnsky of Lobkovice.

Isn't that Vok wandering

about back there?

Mr Adam of Hradec.

He doesn't look like he's had a beating,

you look in a worse state than he is.

Lord Peter Vok of Rozmberk.

You Majesty,

permit me to express a wish.

What would you like to ask, Mr Vok?

I'm listening, speak.

I am asking for permission to marry

the Lady Katerina of Ludanice.

I hope your love for her

is pure and selfless.

I have stared my request, you Majesty.

Request... granted.

You are very kind, you Majesty.

- Not at all.

Such a contemptible trick!

They dragged me from my carriage

like a robber!

I was dishonoured.

By a command issued

from someone higher up!

Bravo, what a mess.

The Papal See was insulted in Prague.

The Holy Church was besmirched.

If I were to get hold of that godless...

The Holy Book says, when struck

on the right cheek, hold out your left too.

Forgive me, your Majesty, I am upset.

There's a chair, do take a seat.

- Oh God, no.

Stop it, will you!

You know that I'm the exception

amongst the nobility, I take my bath.

The lady is particular, you Lordship.

The things one has to undergo

for the ladies!

High time I'm married.

- I must talk to Lord Vok.

What happened?

Bad news, brother.

- Must be tragic news,

if your wife let you out after nightfall.

- An end to your silly jokes!

You must break your engagement.

Her chests are full of poverty.

Her guardians have picked her clean.

Poor little girl.

But at her tender age she can't have

as many debts as I have.

And the Emperor?

- He looks unconcerned.

How's that?

He has to see justice done.

He would, if you weren't involved.

He won't do a thing for her.

I'll get the unpleasant scene

with Katerina over for you, if you like.

Oh no.

The Emperor has left he in the lurch,

am I to do the same?

I shall never sink that low,

dear brother.

I am impressed by your sense of honour.

Tis fine to embellish

great family names

with noble deeds, if one can afford it.

But your position is highly dangerous.

This is no mere squabbling with

the Emperor, this is a more serious matter.

A matter of money.

- Yes, money.

I know that you are even crosser

about my love-match than me

but there's nothing to be done.

We'll just have to join forces now.

I shall see to the family honour and suchlike,

and you will look after the financial side.

Sorry.

- Your hat, your Lordship.

What else but my hat.

Publican! Open up!

What do you want?

- I'm thirsty.

Away with you, drunkard!

- Dash it boys, don't overdo it!

Rudolph, my Emperor!

But you aren't Rudolph.

You aren't Rudolph!

The ladder is ready.

- You watch.

If the guard tries to stop me,

shoot him.

In that case I must put on my pince-nez.

God be with you.

Moment!

Your nightie.

It would go against

my pedagogical principles,

you must step into life like a lady.

Take the chain down,

Can't you see the Imperial coat-of-arms?

Present arms! His Majesty the Emperor.

Silly fashions, these!

Darling, are you leaving me?

- The Emperor is coming.

Exactly, haven't you come to kill him?

Kill him? Really, that's a trick

I hadnt thought of that joke yet. Bye-bye.

When will you have that hay removed.

I'm not forcing you to love me,

but your unconcern as to my hay-fever

could be interpreted

as disrespect to my Imperial Majesty.

Are you drunk, can't you see

It's the Imperial carriage?

He went that-a-way a while ago.

- If he went that-a-way,

he must come back this-a-way.

- That's right, aren't you clever.

The master is not at home.

- Never mid.

His Imperial Majesty sends Lord Vok

a present.

To return her means to offend

the Emperor.

But gentlemen...

- Her name is Fatima-

and mind you remember,

she likes sultanas.

I can hear something.

- That's an old one.

Really, something's coming.

Yeah, what if it's the Emperor.

- Nonsense, I can hear it from there.

You said that if he drove there,

he must come back.

Well and if he's driving back,

he must go there again.

Yeah, but he's driving this-a-way again.

Funny goings-on tonight.

...he came exactly in that situation...

One of the most beautiful situations

I've never experienced.

Why are you staring at me?

Take my boots off!

Come on!

And light the fire, it's cold here.

We never light a fire

before October the fifteenth.

Cheek!

...but you'll see.

- Well, OK then...

Bad tidings, your Lordship.

In fact, worse than bad.

The house is full of strange people.

Come and see.

The young lady's in there.

I had to swear that you are busy

on important State business.

You spoke the truth, as always.

A gift from the Emperor.

The Hapsburgs seem to have

sufficient wit to retain

their power for a few years more.

Id be happy to oblige,

but youve already married me.

Will you leave matters to my discretion?

Life isn't all roses for me either.

Katerina.

- This doesn't suit me particularly, does it.

On the contrary. A beautiful

representation of our coat-of-arms.

A blush rose in the arms

of the Ursini bear.

How charmingly witty you are.

I'm trembling with cold.

That's exactly how my uncle

used to kiss me.

You really must be cold.

Didn't that knave offer you

some hot wine?

Why didn't you bring my charming guest

some refreshments?

And turn round when I'm talking to you!

And no, my dear Katerina,

we shall partake

of a little something together.

No thank you, I'm not hungry.

Are you sure?

There is nothing more exciting

than a midnight feast.

In the right company.

If you'll excuse me,

I'll have a snack...

Bring me about twenty scrambled eggs,

a morsel of ham, a chicken and some salad.

- Celeriac for potency?

Are you feeling warmer?

- The tales I heard tell of you.

You mustn't believe all you hear.

May I ask you a rather indiscreet

but rather important question?

Are you informed of the true state

of you fortune?

I am as little interested

in my financial affairs as you are.

They will serve dinner.

Surely you're not willing to wait

till they fry those eggs.

Hands off!

Understand? You don't, do you.

Well, here's your fodder.

Wine.

You want to have a drinkie? One moment.

Here. Come on.

Wait.

Here's your drinkie, I have to go now.

Drink up.

Absolutely dependable.

Aren't you tired, darling?

Not in the least,

but I'm terribly sleepy.

I'm so happy.

Do you hear?

- Sorry?

I said that I'm happy.

- You are?

I am so happy that all those legends

about you were so wildly exaggerated.

Forgive me for interrupting

the deep thoughts of a monarch,

but you don't seem to have your coat.

Mustnt forget.

Lord Peters love affairs

number his winkles,

but they cost him his strength

and girth.

No longer is he the man

who fought, loved and sang

for all he was worth.

Prepare the carriages,

we'll have a feast,

When they stretch us out

it'll be too late.

Throw back the blankets,

loosen your belt,

before the death-knell

seals our fate.

Seals our fate.

Seals our fate.

When we crossed the river

we met a band of savages.

They had painted faces

and danced round a fire.

Did they hurt you?

We won them over with kind words.

We lured them onto a hillock

with presents and Christened them.

And they were willing?

No, your Lordship,

but we christened them anyway.

I had no idea

you men of God are so courageous.

We are led by Gods will.

We then put up a cross on that hillock.

Your tales are fascinating.

You don't find them exciting?

Indeed I do, my dear-

if it were not for these brave men

I wouldn't know

what a turkey tastes like.

The Holy Church teaches us

to spread humility and love.

Yes, love is a wonderful thing

and I was always in favour

of spreading it.

Do you know what happened once...

Tell them, Cyril...

But that was different, Peter.

Was it? Well then, let us drink.

Katerina... OK...

Is there anything wrong with him?

Take no notice. Hes only taking a nap

before going to bed.

Please continue.

Tonight, dear boy,

I want to listen to your tales

till day break.

Throw back the blankets,

loosen your belt-

before the final blow is dealt...

...seals our fate,

seals our fate,

seals our fate...