Svatba jako remen (1967) - full transcript

A comedy about two bumbling policemen investigating an alleged rape in a small Czech town. One of the alleged rapists is supposed to get married the day he's locked up.

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Come, I'll get you a coffee!
- No, that would deny everything.

Lojzik! Let's go home,

I don't feel too well.
In Hodonin...

May I offer you a drive home?

I have a limousine.
- Thanks.

Take us! To the crossroad...
- Hey moms, I'm no cab driver!

I don't have a licence,
- We pay you extra.

- That would...
That's a fraud!

...my hair...
Lojzik!

Let's go home!
- Shut up!

...fell on my knees.



In Hodonin

they drafted me

Lojzik, come home!

In Hodonin...
- Miss!

...drafted me...
- Miss, wait!

Wait a moment!
...on my knees. She won't go with you!

...drafted me.

Oubenice, with a discount.

- Show me your discount pass.
- But I travel here every day.

- I know.

I guess I forgot it.

- Then it's full price.
- No wait, let me have a look!

But I do travel every day.

- I know you.



What's up?
What's up?

What's up?
- He's rude to me.

- Rude?

Service!
- Please,

stay out of this!
- What is it?

- I would like you to answer my
fundamental question.

Should the railway work for the people,

or should the railway work for the people.
- What?

- Please, leave this alone.
- For the people!

- So what... give me...

Give me the ticket!
- A moment!

He still needs to answer the
fundamental question.

- Give it to me, straight away!
- We'll not demean ourselves!

- Two Crowns...

- It's not about two Crowns, it's the
principle! - Please,

Give me another one.
And this madman here...

Go somewhere, to a pub...

- We'll fix that. I have a
cellotape at home. - Please...

- Come on, let's go.
- Please, leave me alone,

you smell of beer!
- We go to Pri...

Where do we go?
- To Oubenice.

- To Oubenice.
- Let go!

- This is for the lost profit.

Please, leave me alone!

You're weird!
- I am weird.

Ever since I saw you I have
become weird.

Hi, Peckac!
- Leave me alone!

- Just for Peckac...
Gotta show him...

The tenner.

Give me the tenner back!
- Where?

- The tenner!

- Do you have change for 10 crowns?

Attention please. The fast train number
124 from Buratin and Rychnov...

...is approaching platform 2.
- Sorry!

- It goes on to:
Jarov, Mirice...

...Z?vidov, Dobrotice and Svihov.

Repeating.
The fast train number 124 ...

...from Buratin and Rychnov...

Goes on to Jarov, Mirice, Zavidov,
Dobrotice...

- Doesn't work?
Excuse me.

There you go.
- But I...

...I didn't want a soap.
I wanted cigarettes.

- Ah, right.

Maybe if I pressed the soap button,
cigarettes would fall out of it.

- Hm. Here.

Sorry.

Another soap.

- So you can want...
...anything.

Anything for your money.

You can't do that! You must invest your
money in what you don't need!

Take what you get.
- My friend,

- What do you expect?

Take what's there to take.
- Hey, my friend.

- Want me to wash you with the soap.
- Don't disturb. Leave now, please.

- Look, I know quite a lot of
things where...

...where you invest a lot
and the result... Nada!

- What?
- Nada.

- What do you mean?

Tell me, what were you
trying to say by that?

Don't offend me!

- I can offend whoever I want to.

Regardless of whether he
is a secretary or not.

- I do not speak to you as
a secretary. I speak as a citizen.

- Oh dear, forgive me, dear.

- Service call for...

Train number 9454

will depart from
platform number 7.

Please call...

One juice please!
- Sure.

- But, juice...
Have a vodka.

- I can't drink vodka.
- Can't? Have something you like then.

- Well, juice.
- Juice. And two vodkas.

- Here you are.
- Juice for its taste, vodka for our health.

- Something to eat?
- To eat? No, not really.

Maybe something small... sardines.
- Sardines.

- Have you got schnitzel?
- We do.

- A schnitzel for me, then.
- Twice?

- No, just once!
- Sure.

- I am on a diet, you see?
- Hm.

- Interesting. I keep thinking...

I must have seen you somewhere. I just
can't remember where.

- Excuse me.
Are you here again, citizen?

- Although I'm weird by nature...
- Leave us alone, please!

Leave us! Get out!
...and I smell of beer...

Watch out for this man!

- Ok, she will watch out.
- Seriously!

- And you, get lost.
Here is your soap...

- watch out!
...and now get out of here!

- Watch out, miss!

- The youth. It's a problem.
- At your service, please.

- Listen, why do you tolerate this,
those kinds of... individuals?

- The present party policy, comrade.

- The present...
What, something in there?

- Ok.
- Right, salut!

We won't bother, eh?

And it's there!

Let's drink. To our meeting.

One more!
Now, bottoms up!

What can you do with a face like this?
You can only talk.

I can only gibber my way around them.

But sometimes you can't find
the right words.

You know that chick?
- No.

- Listen to that bullshit.
We can't leave her in his hands!

Don't you see she's after you?
She wants it!

- Let's have one more then.

- Quit that!
60 crowns. I'll get it.

Bottle of rum!

You cut her away from
him and let's go.

- In a grocery store?
That's not your kind of job.

You deserve better.

Maybe if you wanted some
better position...

I can arrange that easily.

Are you in the Party?

But you are in the Youth Union?
Hm.

Can you... type?

Oh, nevermind...
What is it?

- Excuse me.
- Yes?

- You don't remember me anymore?

But I remember you very well.

Miss, I hate to have to say you this,
but I must inform you,

that this citizen is just
after one thing.

Your thing, that is.
Salut...

- Your attention please:
- Salut.

- The train number 227...

- Some of our comrades haven't learned
how to behave yet.

- My train is leaving.
- Easy!

We'll drive you home in a Volha.
- But, maybe I'd rather...

I should go...
- But why...?

Just finish your meal,

I'll get the bill and I'll
wait for you in the car outside.

A grey Volha, next to the
station building, right?

How come I never met you before?

- Whose is this?

- What?
It belongs to the secretary?

- Citizen Secretary, that is.
Hey citizen!

Tomorrow...

She will be a wife.
- Ouch!

You, young lad...

She is stupid!

Her eyes are shining,

Her heart is...

This is it?!
- This is it.

- This, eh?

This works? No way!

- Of course it does!
- This will make it to Oubenice?

Tic tac tic...
Wow!

What a cute figure!

I want to have one too.

- Get on board, presto! Or else the tyres
will lose the shape.

- He has a bare butt.

Her eyes

Are shining.

Something is moving here!
Ouch!

Ouch! Oops!
- Wait... a moment! Moment!

Her eyes are...

Her eyes...

And them, then we took a turn
towards the grove.

Like, everything was
all right until then.

Like, nothing. And then, suddenly...

I felt a kind of a...

- Crash!

- No. Well, yes. But that was later.

This strange...

- The car lost a grip.

- No!

This strange feeling. A kind
of a premonition.

You know? I thought something...
something was about to happen.

all right, so you felt this premonition,

so why didn't you...

But, come on, premonition!

This is the police, we can't
work with premonitions!

Why didn't you stop the car?

- I told you I wasn't the one driving!
The madman from the railway station was.

- Listen, citizen. We get a lot
of these stories, all right?

And then it turns out that they
were driving without a valid licence.

And then it's too late.

I have pointed out to you that, as a
witness, you must speak the truth.

Did I not point it out?!

Yes?!
Go on!

Go on what? That's it. Then
it happened.

- So, you were not harmed?

- Jesus, how can I explain this...

Me! I was... harmed!

Don't you get it? And then they
were gone and now they think

they'll get away with that. Ribalds!

- Now, calm down, citizen. We will never
investigate the case if we go on like this.

You have adduced a rather confusing story,

about the way towards the grove,

the car did not crash, it did not
lose the grip, they ran away,

and you were not harmed.
Not harmed!

So what happened?
- Nothing, nothing.

- Salut!
We have found something.

- Citizen, don't confuse me? I am
interrogating a party here!

- Pepa! Excuse me!
Comrade has a party.

We can wait.
Come, let's wait!

I just, comrade, this here is a
confidential material, just so you know.

- Wait, what is it?
- A confidential material.

- Show me! Come on! Come on in!

- This here. Confidential.

This is top secret.

And pyjamas. They are not
secret, I suppose.

- Citizen, wait behind the door!

- Where did you find this?
- Blzl...

- What?
- (mumbling)

- I don't understand. What does he say?

- Says where we found it.

- Oh. I see.

Hey, wha... wha... what... what are you looking at...

- I am sorry.

- In the grove by the pheasantry?

- Yes, right there. Right, Pepa?
- Hm.

- Strange...!

- Yes, we found it strange too. A grove,
a meadow, nothing around it...

and there is this briefcase.

- But what if the documents are
incomplete? How can you prove

that none of them are missing?

- That's right, Pepa. How can
we prove that?

The comrade... this comrade is asking
good questions.

We can't prove it.

- And what if you didn't find it at all?

- Listen, comrade. Being suspicious is
a part of your job.

That's how things are. Right, Pepa?
- (mumbling)

- What did he say?
- That this is how things are.

- Listen, cut these comments,
or you will regret it, all right?

- Cut the comments, Pepa.

Following the possible risks,

of breaking the confidentiality,

of the documents in question...
No, I didn't say that!

- Sign it!
- But that's not what I said!

- You know the content of it?
- Yes.

- And you are aware of its confidentiality?

- Yes, I am aware.
- So how come you know the content?

- I read it.
- But you shouldn't have!

- But I had not been aware!
- Listen...

- Yet.
...sign this, or

you will have to wait here.

- For what?
- You will see!

- I will see then. Pepa, we will see!

- Right, come on, citizen, let's
have a look at it again,

let's make it clear, shall we?

Citizen! Citizen!
Hey, you got scared there, eh...!

Come!

- You are the only one here?

- Like, me? Here... Why?

What do you mean?

- I mean, maybe I could be
interrogated by someone else?

- Why?
You don't like me?

Not handsome enough for you?

- No, no, no. That's not what I meant.
I meant someone...

older, more experienced, you know?

- Listen, don't judge my experience. There
are other comrades there to judge it.

- So, maybe I'd just go out now and arrange some
things and come back later...

- Wait, come here, come back!

Come here. Listen, I am not here for fun

Right? For you, I am a state authority.
And the state has entrusted me...

...so I can't see what you would
not... trust... me.

- What I meant, was maybe these
crimes,

the sensitive ones,

you may not have done before...

- I see!
You were... someone did... Right?

In the grove. Why don't you tell us,
you can trust us!

After all, we are humans too, right?

It's not easy for us either.

Wait! Or come! Come!

Come!

This bolt needs tightening, here.

Do you have a penny?

Thanks. It will be all right now.

- What, what, what?
You can't do that!

- Oh. Sorry.
I'll do it against the floor.

- Screwdriver.
- What?

Hey, where do you think you...
This is the aggrieved party.

- Good morning.
What happened?

Leave us alone!
- I'll be in the next room.

- All right.

- Here is your penny.

- So, what is the secret?

- I was raped.

- Raped?
Do you tell me this just like that?

Like when you're buying a box of candy?

Anybody can say so.
Almost anybody.

These are sensitive things.
We must provide a proof.

Do you have any traces?

- Yes, here,
look, this from the spring,

from the back seat. Can you see it?
Yes.

It has scratched me there too.

- That... Not now! Not now,
you'll show this to the doctor.

- The first time I'm wearing this...

- Can you describe the perpetrator?

- Perpetrator... i scratched one
of them in the neck.

- There were two of them?
- No. Three.

- Three? That's a lot, don't you think?
- Hm.

- This man, who was holding me,
called "light"...

...following this they both refrained from
further action and started the car,

and left with the car in which
the aforementioned incident

took place.

Listen, you must have see
where this was going.

One woman, three man, in a car,
at night, in the wood...

Women can naturally predict
these situations...

- I couldn't, predict.

- But, were you defending yourself?
Did you shout?

- I did. But it happened
all so fast.

So, when the two started the
car and left,

where was the third one?
- He was gone.

No... He was there,

the second one wasn't. This
one, see? The one, who

was the first, later on.

- A phone call for you.

- A phone call.

- Hello. Yes. Is this about the fight?

Yes, come tomorrow.

- Don't read that!
- What, what, what, what?

- Yes, you can come in
the afternoon.

- In the grove by the pheasantry?
A busy place, eh?

Wait, "one had a look of a madman
and another one was mumbling"?

Well...
- So, if she had been there,

why didn't she call?

all right then, take her with you
and we will talk to her too.

Yes. Yes!
- Do you recognise them?

- Yes.
- Do you recognise her?

- Certainly. This is the lady...
- Yes. This is the lady!

Who was the third one?

- A third one?
There are six of us.

- What are you laughing at?!

- Before, when you were interrogating
me, these two came in, didn't they?

- Right! Right!
Wrong! All right! Come!

- Excuse me, can I smoke here?

- Sure, go ahead.

- What do you have there?
Show me!

Look at this!
Today's youth...

- Where did you get this?
- It's not mine.

It belongs to the guy from the station.
The second one... who was the first.

- Listen, now, seriously, don't tell
me you had no idea where this was going.

- Excuse me? This is a hint.

That's from left luggage at
the station, isn't it?

Railway station?
The station master, please.

- a light grey suitcase. There is
a Dynamo sign on it.

- Do you have an ID? Here, give me your
name and the address of your employment.

- Here.

- But what if it is someone else's?

- Listen, auntie, we've had our fun,
but my train is leaving.

- What if someone comes here
and starts about it then?

- This is just...
Give it to me!

- Wait! Wait! Let go! Let go!

- What, what, what?!
- He's being rude with me!

- Is this the ticket?

- This is his ID.

What, what, what?!
Disperse yourselves!

- Comrade, what will they do to me?
Do I have to go there?

- Well, once a woman maces such an accusation,
a medical examination must be taken.

- And they can tell if... right?

- That's what they're there for.

- And is it true that the boys can
get multiple years in jail for that?

- That is why we need to investigate
the whole matter carefully.

Hey! Look, it's him!

It's the car!

It could be the car, but that one didn't
have the wedding decorations.

It's him, there is the figure
in the front!

- Stay in the car. If it's one of them,
act like you're blowing your nose.

Yes.

Your driving licence, please!

- Excuse me?
- Driving licence!

- Here.

Excuse me...

- Are you aware of the fact that there is
a loose spring in your back seat?

- I will have that fixed. Mr.comrade, please,
this is a wedding. I am in a hurry.

- Well, so they'll have to wait.
Get in, let's go!

- Where?
- Don't ask, you'll see. Move it!

- Why?
- Move!

Ouch!
- What, what, what?

- It tickles.

- What do you have here?

- Here? I... scratched myself
against a gooseberry bush.

- Yesterday. Around midnight, eh?

- I was catching a hedgehog.

- That's some original excuse.

- Comrade driver, are you familiar
with the ordinance number 141?

- I sure am! I am a professional driver,
this is my everyday reading.

I hardly read anything else.

- Right. So what does the
ordinance say about alcohol?

- About alcohol...
I know, it's...

0,03 percent alcohol in blood.

Is that correct?

- It is, but it's not in the ordinance.
- How do you know it, then?

- Right, I confused that! They must
have told us at the catch...

- Look at your sources of information.
Comrade driver, from your testimony

it follows that you have consumed
alcoholic beverages

before driving a motor car.
Is it true?

- No. First I drove and
then I consumed.

- What, what, what...

- A hole.
- A big hole!

- They must have had big shears.

- Listen, stop that! We all have
the same shears size.

And... alcohol again.

Comrade driver, I am disqualifying
you from driving.

- Wait, wait, hold on!

You can't do that, that's
interfering with my rights!

I am a professional driver. This
would be a terrible blow for me.

I have a family. A wife, two
kids, a grandmother.

I am the breadwinner for all of them.

- You should have thought of
them before you drank.

- But, comrade major, this can be
fixed by a little fine...

Or, say, twenty, or maybe ten...

- Do you know this man?

- Oh crap...
- Yes. He's the one who went with us.

- What...?
- But this has nothing to do with me.

- Don't worry, we'll find out.

What, what, what?

This is not a tavern! Stop it!

Stop it! Quiet! Shut up!

- Comrade, you know me, don't you?
I am Peckac. I didn't do anything wrong.

Seriously. She wanted to do it with me.

She asked for it, she was just intruding.
We could not get rid of her!

These...
- Have you been asked to speak?

- Have I what?

No, I haven't! But I must say this!

Look, these kind of women are already...
...long time ago... you see...

- What, what, what?
- Well what, what... They keep...

...and then they act reluctant!

- Now you're contradicting yourself! First
she was intruding, now she is reluctant, eh?

- Listen, what should I tell you... you
have no idea about these things.

- Listen... what do you mean?!

Who was the third one?!

- A third one?
There were only two of us.

- No, no, no. The aggrieved and
you... I'll kill him!

...holy mother...

- I have always supported artists but
this is too much!

- Honestly, there were only two of us!

- Listen boys, you're just making it
worse for yourselves.

Roger! The police station.

- A name! We need some name, quickly!
Venca is getting married today!

Today, in a few hours! We need someone
to, to stop him from...

- The guy from the railway station.

- Which one?
- The secretary.

- Bullshit! The secretary...

- Now. Who was the third one?

- There were only two of us, really.

- Listen, you're trying to cover someone.
What was this gesture?

- Comrade, listen, let's keep it down
to two people, shall we?

It's mostly better for you.

And we do not wish to cover someone just
because he is a

public official. But once we give
you his name...

- We won't give it to you!
There'll be trouble!

- once we do this, we can't
take it back.

- Who was it?

- A men, a comrade of a
higher standing.

- Secret material, certainly.
No doubt about that.

- A man who loses secret documents
can do many worse things too.

And he has a reputation of a womanizer.

- Comrade commissioner, look, this
is his size, is it?

- Yes, could be.

- Another piece of evidence!

- You know what? Go and give him back the
briefcase. The secret documents

will stay here, we'll return them
to him officially.

- Excuse me, comrade commissioner, but
maybe it would be more appropriate

if you could handle this? He'll certainly
accept this better from you.

- No, no, this is your case. Your
investigation.

- all right, all right. But, what, how should
I tell him...

...what should I say...?

- You? We're interested in
what he has to say.

- Please do not write into it, it's
a secret document.

- These are just my notes!

- Why do I always have
to do these jobs!

Before something gets lost, it's found
again. That's a good police work!

(in Russian:) Stolichnaya vodka - do you
know it? - Yes, I do.

- Great, then. Bottom up!

- No, niet, no. Please, comrade, I am
on duty, I can't.

- What duty? This is my office, here you
may drink. A good comrade, drink it up...

Whoops, sorry, didn't mean that.
Here, drink it up.

- No, no. Thank you. Thank you.
- Really not?

- No, really.
- all right then.

- I don't drink myself, you see, but since
you refused... This briefcase

is not a big issue anyway. Where did
you find it then?

- That, comrade, that is...
- What is?

- Damn it, where are my...

- Secret documents?
- Yes.

- Comrade, I would love to... but
the case is being investigated now.

- So it's being investigated?
What shall we do?

- Well, it's bad. Maybe you'd better
you know...

the comrades are expecting you,
at the very place.

- So the comrades, on the
very place...

- Maybe you should take your jacket.

- Of course...
- It's cold outside.

- But, I have weddings at eleven. You
know, I am the marriage officer.

- Comrade, I would very much love to...
But it's...

- Comrades, but I am a mere human being.

Oh shit! That's a disaster!

- What is this about? Comrades,
I demand a clarification!

- Please, comrade.

Now, citizen, you have made certain
statements

Regarding the comrade present here.
Now that the comrade has arrived...

- Wait, what happened to my documents?
- Wait. Citizen.

- You must address the comrade
directly now.

Is he the third one?
- I beg your pardon!

- Wait. Yes or no?!

- Come on...
Do you think he'd be able to rape?

- What?

- But, comrade,

it was claimed, that you have actively
participated in... in comrade.

- I see! That one, he made it up, eh?

Young man, this will be qualified as a
political provocation!

That will break you!

- I have a friend, she'll
help me out.

She said you'd done many things for her.

Even though she couldn't type...

- Let the attorney show him.

But, comrade, please understand
our situation!

Your briefcase was there,

now, people say, you're the kind
of man...

- What kind?
- Well, that... you tend...

- Right. I see. Look,

You mean it well, comrade,
but you need to understand,

It's like if someone told you you
were a moron - But...

- It's just an example.

And you start explaining at great lengths
that you aren't one. Right?

- So we should close the case.

- No, I suggest, let's go on
with the rape case,

so that the riffraff doesn't
get away with that.

As for me, leave me out of it. It
would only make it worse for them.

It would be considered a
political case with me in it.

Comrades, we must not give up.

Oh and the papers...?
- We have them.

- Excellent.
- They are at the station.

- Thank you, commissioner. I must go.
It's saturday, I have marriages to splice!

Salut, comrades!
- Salut!

- Salut, salut!

- Citizen, please, try to remember.
Who was the third one?

Did he have any special marks?

- He was sad and he was singing...

- Did he say anything?

Try to remember!
- He was just... mumbling...

- Mumbling...
...sort of.

Or, wait! He said...

... said his life would have no meaning from
tomorrow onwards.

- My life has no meaning already.

- No meaning? He must have been a groom.
- A groom? Why?

Thank you.

Mister groom, please!
- Please.

- The groom's mother!
- Please.

- You go first. The witnesses!
- Yes.

- The father of the bride!

And you go together, as the last.

- Excuse me!
Mr.groom, please come over! For a moment.

- Why? A reason! I am entitled
to know the reason!

- Entitled you are, indeed. No one is
taking that away from you.

Or am I? Am I?

- Listen, mister policemen, please,

I'll get married. That's few minutes!
And then...

- No, no, no, no!
...right away...

- What's going on?
- Have you been asked to speak?

- Wait, father. Wait, mister policeman, you
can not do this to me.

Look, parents, friends...

- Well, you should have thought of
that sooner!

You're going with me!

- I am not! I protest!

- Listen. Stop fooling around...!

- What, me... what... excuse me...

Have you had your breakfast yet?
- No.

- So, let's start this, shall we?
- No, thank you.

- Come on! Do you want the
ants to eat it?

Don't think I am trying to
bribe you or anything.

- You better offer some to the lady.
She has not eaten since yesterday.

- The lady? Only if the cake was poisoned!

Well?
- No.

- Really?
- No!

- Excuse me.
- What's up?

Where're you going?

Have some.
- Give me a break!

- You're hungry, aren't you?

- Why the sudden care?

- It was a joke!

- What?
- The cake!

Why did you rat on us?

- Why did you run away?
- What?

Me run away?

- Come on. Don't act stupid.

You were taking turns with me,
was that it?

- You see the tree there?

I just went there to take a piss.

And as a turned around...Ha!

- But... I was yelling!

- Let's stop it!

- What did you see? It was
obvious, wasn't it?

- Sure, it was obvious!

- Come back!

- She gave us a hard time, captain,
she did!

Even though nothing really happened.

- We'll investigate that.

- There are such cases...

I used to know one, he
was a car mechanic,

and he too... he gave the lady...

a wristwatch and 300 Crowns.

Then he took it back again.

And then, guess what, the broad
reported him,

claiming he had raped her.

But then, when they came to the court,
the public opinion

was clearly on his side, the
side of the car mechanic.

Gentlemen, I, I believe...

- I need an explanation...
- Gentlemen, please...

- This can not happen! I am
getting married!

- How could this happen?
such persecution,

please... No, you, this...
...will not change my mind!

- Calm down, citizen, calm down!
- Yes, this is persecution!

- Calm down!
We will see shortly.

Comrades grooms, follow me!

Move it, move it!

commissioner, there were four weddings.

- Thank you. For Christ's sake, are they
married yet?

- One is.

- I'll report this to the highest places!

And even higher.
- Citizen,

you are just making your wedding
more complicated.

- But this is unheard of!
- There is no point in this.

- Come!

- What... what do you want to do?
- You should be protesting too.

- all right, comrades grooms, now
form a line please.

You go here.

This includes you as well!
- Don't... don't touch me!

I am angry!
I am very angry!

- You are an intellectual, eh?
- I am angry!

- Well, calm down. We have means of
calming you down.

Even intellectuals!

Come, citizen.

Pick one!

- Persecution!

But it was dark...

Was it this one?
The bearded one?

Now it's clear!
- Idiot!

- What, what, what. Help me with him!

You are lucky, you...

- I will report this higher, I will,

I have connections in the
highest places!

Persecution! Do you see
this is a persecution!

- Take these three grooms to town.

- We will talk about this!
Treating people like this...

So. All the rapists are together.

Well!

That was quick!

Now, let us start the
process of reconstruction.

Everyone into the car. Sit on the same
places where you sat before.

Come on, come on...

Come on. Come on. Move it, come on.

Well.

So the car left the road,

you didn't find that strange?

- I wasn't aware.
- But then you became aware.

- me and Venda, we had to take
a leak, right, Venda?

- Yes!

- Why couldn't you do it by?
the road?

Why did you have to drive all
the way here?

Where did you go?
- Where did we go?

- To that pine tree, over there.
- Well, move! To the pine tree!

Come on! Quickly! Go, go, go!

Clear intention.

Hurry!

And? You were just standing like this?

- we were singing!
- Well then? Sing!

- In Hodonin...

they drafted me...

drafted me.

My hair...

they cut

in Hodonin.

Oh my hair,

was falling to on knees.
- You two remained here by yourselves?

He grabbed you brutally.

- No, he didn't!

- No? So what happened?

- I kissed him.

- So kiss him, then.
- Me?

- Come on, come on, move.
Show it.

But, wait, citizen, where is the
violence?

- Those two were violent.
- I told you so. I didn't hurt her.

- But, citizen, this implies a substantial
change in the nature of the act.

- commissioner, she was not even aware
that the drove here.

And then she became aware.
- I couldn't know,

he'd let me here and run away.
- You have not been asked!

- He left me here and ran.
- Quiet!

What about you two there? You just
kept on singing like that?

Did it take you so long?

Why didn't you resume driving?

- Why didn't we resume driving?

- Comrade, we, we couldn't.
- So you were not bothered by the fact,

that immoral act was taking place
in your car?

- You wouldn't interfere, comrade.

- You think I wouldn't?

And you here?

- Me, nothing. I got out of the car.

- Well get out!

And went.

Hurry! Hurry!

You went that far?

- About here.

- And what about you there?

- The lady called "woooo".

So we though she was sad.

- Yeah, sure, "woooo"...

I was yelling when they
attacked me.

- Attacked you? Comrade, this is a false
accusation.

- I never heard of anyone who had his
neck scratched by a "woooo"...

Show me how you yelled!

But you must have heard that!

- Come on, yelled or not...
- Well?

- That does not say anything.

And then she was silent.

The women...
- the gagged me!

- How?!

- And... and where did you go then?

- I left.I didn't want to be the bystander.

- So what's next!

- So, he took my hands...
- Yes.

- No, mister, policeman, not
the hands...

or maybe Venda did, right, Vedna?
- Hm.

- So, Venda...
- Now, Vedna...

Is that it...?
- Yes, yes, yes!

- Like this.

- Mister policeman, he was not
really capable of anything.

So we, we voluntarily
abstained from...

- New uniform...

- And then suddenly, we saw this
light there.

- What, what, what? Go back! Fall out!

So it must have happened as he
went to that pine tree.

That gave the two a chance
to have a piece of her.

But then there was this light.

And then the groom... commissioner,
there are severe ambiguities!

We only know he fell asleep.

But if he fall asleep,
he could not have...

...been ...able.

That's the way nature works.

- I think the girl is
a crackpot, too.

- But...
- These girls, play along first,

And then they start crying when
the men want their way.

- Commisioner, I know hitchhikers!

They get a ride and all
follows from there.

They're my age after all.

I'll tell you how it is,
comrade commissioner.

These young people, their
wages are low these days.

She wants a new pullover...

I think she is just a regular...

- Regular what?
- Regularly disturbed.

She wanted something from them,
they didn't give it to her

and now she's having a revenge.

- You can not prove this.
- But it's clear.

- Comrades!

Comrades, please, we are all humans,
we are not machines, are we?

- What what what?

Have you been asked to speak?
- No!

- Well then...
- But what should I...

- Have you been asked? No. So?

- But comrade, I am getting married,
I am morally bound...

Comrades! What will they say?

The bride, the parents?

Comrades, I beg you, just a little bit
of human understanding, nothing more.

just a little compassion!
- Certainly citizen. Compassion,

we have a lot of it here.

- Ouch!
- Excuse me?

- Nothing.
- I hope so.

- Listen buddy, take it easy!

Calm down! - But this is a clear
case of provocation.

- You are morally superior,
aren't you?

- Well, yeah, well. I know that...

- Miss, please,

I just wanted...

...really... you know?

Sorry! Sorry! Excuse me!
I didn't mean to!

Well thank you very much

for getting me in this.

We know nothing about her,
comrade commissioner.

How can we investigate the case
with such lack of information?

Let me visit the grocery
store where she works

To see about her
reputation, may I?

- Wait! Don't go!
- Why?

- Look, you write down the reconstruction,

and I will visit the grocery.

- Comrade commissioner, let me go.

It's my first rape case.

Serious discrepancies, citizen.

Serious discrepancies in
your testimony...

When you got into the car with...

...with that figure, then...
- Excuse me, comrade,

since nothing is going on

I can just leave for a while, get
married and be back soon. Honestly!

- Citizen, you are under investigation!

Do you understand what that means?
- No.

- Well? so now you see.

Now, when you got into
this car with the...

figure, then...
- Comrade please,

investigate me, but I... I have
to go... I... the bride,

the parents, the family...
- Let him go, sir...

- What? What? What?
all right citizen,

we will show you that we are
compassionate indeed.

here, write down a few lines for
the bride,

We'll make sure she gets it.
- Thank you.

- Now, when you entered the car with
the little figure on it,

your train was still waiting
at the station.

You also said that you had purchased
a ticket before.

This means that you intended to
go by the train, is that so?

Why didn't you then? This
citizen is a witness.

- Yes.
- He tore my ticket,

Come on, tore your ticket...!

- all right, but why didn't you buy a
new one?!

- See? Why didn't you buy a new one?

Don't try to fool comrade policeman.
Don't tell him that you thought

you were being taken for a trip to the
forest just like that.

- Indeed, you couldn't have thought you
were taken there just like that.

Citizen, you knew exactly what was
going to happen didn't you?

And yet you didn't object.

Why didn't you object?

- I liked it.

- See? She liked it.
There, you see it.

And what about the bottle that I bought?

Or the...
Comrade, the bottle...

These ladies, they know
exactly what it means,

when a bottle is on the table -
or on a tree stump.

And where it ends!

- It all ends there doesn't it?

- Doesn't it?
- Hey, it also depends on,

who puts the bottle there, right?

- Right.
- Right. Just so you know.

- What?

- Don't cry.
- I am laughing.

- Leave her alone! Leave her alone!

- Stop it, it makes no sense!

So did you figure who did... that... to her?
- Yes.

- She was very provocative.

And these girls, that's all
they have,

they use it for their benefit.

- It also happens that a girl comes
claiming they raped her

and then you find out she's been
pregnant for four months already.

- Right. What?
But that isn't possible!

- How do you know?

- I don't know. I just
think so,

because, as a store manager,
I have to see that the girls...

How could she do that to me!

- I want to make this clear. She doesn't
say it was you who raped her!

It's somebody else!

- So she didn't give a name?
- No.

I see. So somebody really...

Oh my, oh my!

- Excuse me, mr.manager?

- So, let's have these plums,
shall we?

The named admits, that she
has been paid for...

How did you say that?

- Admits, that she has blackmailed.

- Wait, that's not precise. This
is a testimony!

- First she admitted, then she pretended,
and then she blackmailed.

- Hm.

- Agreed... "with". Here.

- Bloody machine! - Mr.policeman,
now that the case is almost solved,

may I get married?

- It always jams when I start
typing a little faster.

- May I get married?

- That's a turnover, commissioner,
a real turnover...

I was in that grocery store where you
work. I talked to the manager.

He told me everything.

He said he paid you extras for
that, right?

- Extras? My god, that's... that's...
how can he say that?

Last time we had extras was around
Christmas, it was 90 Crowns...

Not even that! 70! And we all got that!

Nothing would have happened if...

- If what?

- If I didn't cause this deficiency
at the till...

and the manager said it could
be fixed if...

- If what?

- If I am a good girl.

- And how much was it, the
deficiency?

- Two bottles of brandy. But they
were found in the end.

- I see. So they were found.

The manager found them accidentally,
didn't he?

Listen, what was that you were
saying here?

"First she blackmailed, than
she agreed"?

- That was the young one, all the time.
He says I couldn't have thought

I was being driven there just like that.

I told you, I don't want to talk to him.
I will tell you everything.

- Don't cry!
- Comrade, please, one detail.

I have this problem, with the
wedding, you see...

I didn't say it in the
testimony,

but the bride is four months
pregnant...

- The bride is pregnant

and he calls that a detail...

Quiet!
Stop the sobbing!

Poor parents!

The baked cakes, they
prepared a feast...

What if we made a little break?

He'll get married and we'll take
him back afterwards.

- Watch out, commissioner! Watch
out for that!

That's one wedding and then we'll be
in trouble!

See? That's that liberal thinking
of yours...

Look, we have a case, we have
a crime and a testimony,

and there is no such thing as a
wedding or a funeral.

- Boy, the case is still not clear!

It would be good to add here,

that the aggrieved party made the
testimony under pressure.

Under your pressure!

- commissioner, I say, I mean, don't let them
set us against each other.

They took my driving licence, my
daily bread, who will feed them?

Little Mary will be a schoolgirl soon...

...and Pepik, the younger one.

Bastards! That's one hell of bummer!
What shall I do?

I can't do anything else. I'll have
to learn a new craft.

- You'll be gumming envelopes!
- What?

- In the prison. A great job.

- Look, you are allowed to get married,
but on one condition.

we'll be there too. Quiet!

Before that, however, you have to
confess fully to the bride,

about what happened in the forest...

- Yes. Thank you very much,
comrades,

but I'm not having policemen
on my wedding.

- What, what, what! Get in!
- Yes.

Goodbye.

- You are 12 hours late now.

Come to the station tomorrow.

- They will probably fire me now.

Do you know some job vacancy?

- I'll ask around. Can you type?

- No!

Mr. policeman, I just wanted to
tell you,

that we are here.
- Get back!

What, what, what?

The're here!

Jesus, people. What took
you so long?

Where were you?

- Good morning.

- So, Venda, are you getting
married or what?

Look at yourself?!

- His friends from Klatovy are here!

- Right, the bride! Everybody,
let's go!

Quick, quick! Move!
- Easy, father, easy. Thank you.

We have time enough. The magistrate is in
chaos, and everything is delayed.

- There is chaos everywhere, these days!

Man, Venda, what's up?

The told me at the hotel that
the police took you away.

- Bullshit! That Jarda there has run over
a goose and they were testing him for alcohol.

- Which Jarda?
Breathe at me!

- We thought something had happened.

Father called the police, but guess
what, no one answered the phone,

typical, just when you need them!
- But we did...

- Yeah, the police. They're only good at
bullying ordinary people.

Here he is! They are late because
they ran over a goose!

Comrade director, this is the groom.

This is my comrade director from the
insurance company. - Pleased to meet you.

He kindly agreed to be the witness
at the wedding.

Hey, Vena...
- Pleased to meet you!

- Libicek!
- And this is Vena's friend from Klatovy.

- Pleased to meet you.
- My name is Stoklasa.

- Pleased to meet you.
- From Klatovy, too.

Thank you, grandma.
And this is auntie Ruza, the sister-in law.

- Pretty boy.
Pretty boy.

- Right boys, here's to the wedding.

Stoklasa, I know you from somewhere!

- I guess you saw each other before.

This is my husband.
- You, boy...

One more sandwich?

- Thank you.

- commissioner! We can not pretend to be
some friends from Klatovy!

This all, these sandwiches, can get us
in trouble...

- Did I say anyting about Klatovy?
They said it!

Venda, you should be looking for
the bride, shouldn't you?

- The hat like this. And the rose
in the middle.

Right. What a pity you're not getting
married in church, my girl.

That would make a parade!

The fold is still there. Try not
to sit too much.

- It's been bought in Tuzex...

Now, let's see what your excuse
is this time!

Where's the bouquet?
- Nowhere.

I can see you're proud! A beautiful
daughter, getting married...

- Hopefully he's a good boy, what
do you think?

- It sure is hot.

- Let's hope the weather stays.

- Are you a member of the Party?
- I am. Why?

- So am I. That makes two of
us, right?

- Sure.

- I need to tell you something, my friend.
You're a man, you'll be able to take it.

- What is it?
- An unpleasant thing.

It's about the groom, you see?
- What, did they have a car accident?

- No! He's very sorry. He's been
drinking in bit too much.

We are undercover policemen.

- Breathe at me!
- What's wrong, Blaza?

- Breathe at me!
Like a fish!

- Now, that's not a nice thing to say.
- Listen, Vena, this was the last time!

Me and Lojza, as we drove the car,
we had this incident...

- What incident?
- A flat tyre.

- A flat tyre?! And you were
repairing it the whole night?

- Blaza, you will not believe this,
but we were repairing it the whole night.

- One tyre?

- Who's that?
- That? That's Stoklasa.

- Stoklasa who?
- Stoklasa.

- Let me! Leave me! Let me go!
- Easy, easy!

- I will kill him!
I will kill the bastard!

Kill him! - Do you want a funeral
in place of a wedding?

- If he stole something or...
if he was a spy,

even... even if he murdered,
but this...

- Comrade! I know it's hard
but such things...

- The disgrace! The disgrace...

- We did our share of things
when we were young, didn't we?

I don't remember anything,
I was completely spaced out.

They say there was this woman with us.

- What woman?
- I don't know.

They say I raped her.

- You raped, ummm... Woman...

And where did you rape her?

- In the car, Blaza.

- Are you testing me? Is this
a joke?

- No, why should I? The one behind the
door, they're policemen.

- Stupid jokes!

Hold the door! Father, hold the door!

Tell Ruza to check the oven!

What are we going to do, father?

- Nothing! Cancel! Finished!

- Jesus Christ! She is pregnant!

- What is she?
- Pregnant!

Four months already!

- Jesus!

- Father!

Mother...

You rape one and you make the other
one pregnant!

I would...!

When did it happen? When were at the
fair in Brno?

Now, don't tell me anything!

Now you earn 3,000 a month...

- I do not want Blaza to live a life
like I had to live with you!

- Wait, what life, what...
- Don't make me tell!

You are greedy!
- So are you!

- "Wishes lots of love and laughter,

your uncle Fanous."

"Dear Vasa and Blaza..."

- A dog bites you on a street
and you get 80 Crowns.

One signature and you're insured.

- I'd like to think about it
a little more.

- What about you? Shall we sign it?

"...with this day, your new
life begins...

Best wishes from Tonca and Eman."

"A new path opens ahead of you...

...and we wish you...,

...lots of sunshine on the road..."

How come you're so alone all this time?

Would you like a sip of vermouth?
Mana, pour us!

This is Mana.

So you are a car mechanic, like
our Vena, aren't you?

That's the only job where one can earn
some money these days.

They say that when a customer
comes without a 50 CZK note in his hand,

that you don't even let him in.

So, to the wedding!

- Madame, I am on duty!
- On duty?

- But father!
Father,

I beg you!

- Don't attend my funeral!

Father, father, jesus, father,
- Let go!

- Wait!
- Stop it!

- We can say that he is getting
transferred after the wedding,

to a different town!
And Blaza goes with him.

- Transferred for five years...

They will announce a general pardon.
Comrade, it is said that there

will be a general pardon?

- They say so. But I don't know if
that concerns rape crimes too.

- A rape is not a political crime,
is it?

- Maybe someone will adopt the child.
It happens all the time.

- No, no, no! We will raise it
ourselves, right, father?

Like our own - right?

- My friends, what's wrong!
The time is now!

You don't want our Vena to change
his mind, do you?

Ribald! Bastard! Rascal!

You ruined my life!
- Blaza, don't...

- You ruined my life.
- Blaza, the grandmother is here!

- Grandma.
- Children, please...

Blaza, you shouldn't have done that!

- commissioner, this will not end in a
wedding. I'll pick him up, all right?

Bastard!
- No! Not!

- Mother! Be sensible!
- He's going to jail

and leave it on us!
- What do you want to do?

- I don't know.
- Madame, let him go!

- I won't!

- Madame, you are interfering with
a police authority!

- Hold on, my girl! Let us through!
Please, let us through!

Let us through!
- Go!

Comrade, please, just a minute.
Father, please!

- Wait here for a while!

- We can sort this out somehow,
I beg you!

We have everything at stake! Even if
we had to take a loan!

- Citizen, calm down. I am
a policeman on duty...

- Oh no, I didn't mean that,

I didn't mean to, comrade, of course.

Who is that woman anyway?
- She sells in a grocery store.

- These salesgirls...
The goose!

Comrade, help me!
Here!

There!

You see, I don't know what you think, but
if a woman doesn't want to, then... right?

And after all, Vena is no ladies man.

Just ask Blaza!

One was raped and twenty people
are unhappy! Is that fair?

This is, this is in direct
contradiction with...

...the new policy...
...and the news.

They are fighting for peace...

Jesus Christ. Father!

What, what, what?

- Father! For Christ's sake, father!

You can't do that to us!

Comrade, help me!

Come!
Over here!

- I will do it one day!

What's up?
- He's not feeling well!

Nerves. He'll be fine!

- Do you need help, Tonicka?
I will happily...

- No, thank you, Ruzenka, thank you.
We'll be all right!

Scavenger!

With a gown belt?

Father, I told you not to
be foolish!

Come, take a seat!

Things happen and life goes on...

It will be all right.

- I worked so hard,

I saved, I scraped...

- Get out of my sight!
It will be all right.

In court, it often ends
the opposite.

We had this rape case once,

and the lady took her testimony
back at court.

- Took it back?
See!

What if she took it back now?
- Wait!

Let go! Let go!
Where do I find her?

- I suppose she could still be at the
trains station. But hurry up!

- Train station!
- Tell her not to go!

- Let her go!
You know what, father?

Let's start the feast now.
Goose on the table, wine,

as if nothing happened.
And singing!

How does she look like?

She's a blonde,
with a dotted...

- Dress.
- Yes. And here she has a...

- Wart.
- No. A fleck!

- Here? Right!

Staff announcement!

The train 9423,

on the 5th platform.

I repeat...

Fifth platform!

Excuse me, is this place free?

It sure is hot!

I know you'd rather not
go home at all.

I feel for you!
It must have been a shock!

Whose wedding is this?
Ours!

To the bride and the groom!
- Cheers!

(cheers)

(cheers)

(cheers)

(cheers)

This is a rape, so there will be no
public allowed at the court.

And that's exactly what people want!

People, my friend, are
scavengers.

Especially when no one stands behind you.
And they don't, do they?

A rape...
Who knows, how it was...

A woman, if she doesn't want to...

You don't have to tell me...

And don't you think the cops are
with you! They think the same!

- Now, listen, madame,
stop this, will you?

Stop insulting me! Were
you there? Were you?

- Excuse me, miss. Wait!
- I don't know what you know about rape,

but I ask you to leave
mine alone!

Miss, this is for your own good...
- Stop it! Stop humiliating me!

- Miss...
- Stay here!

- On the second platform...

- Miss! Miss!

It's always about violence, but
what is worse?

There and back and it's over! But what
makes us human, miss?

Our soul! Violence against the
soul is much worse!

Excuse me, this is the ladies!
- Let go! Let go!

- Jesus!
There you see it,

they are everywhere.
But don't worry,

I am waiting here for you.

Dear guests, allow me, to thank you,

in my name and in the name of the
deceased...

Vena's mother's sister...

who died... she would be so happy
to see this day.

Allow me to thank you for your...
for your... participation.

Vena was an orphan,
I raised him.

I raised him to discipline,
right, Vena?

Because without discipline, my friends,
no man can do well,

without discipline, the nation
would be...

Yes, and I also brought this
little present.

There.

- Upside down!

- It will... Excuse me?
- Upside down!

It was painted by a soldier,
a good young boy.

Why did you start it, miss? These
things, people will remember...

Then you'll want to get married...

Wait, I'll shake it for you.

And the man will know about it,
people will tell him!

And you know how men are...
here's a handkerchief.

Miss,
I am like your mother...

- My train is leaving! Let me go!
- No!

- I won't! I won't!
- Let go!

- Will you let me go!

- How many innocent people would suffer...

The father tried to hang himself,
the bride is pregnant!

Fourth month! It's a disgrace!

And how can one earn some
money these days!

Miss, I beg you, let' settle this,
or else... I don't know...

- I don't know either.

Stoklasa! Heads up!

Right turn!

Present arms!

Fire!

The water flows,

the forests hum.

you left me alone,

my only son.

you left me alone,

oh my only son.

Feeling sick?

- Did it happen or not?

- What?

- What, the wedding!
- Of course it didn't!

- Didn't, eh?
You sure, commissioner?

I don't want to mess up again!

I'll pick him up then...

See how it ends? That
liberalism of yours...

- Why do you drink when you
know you can't handle it?

- The wedding didn't happen yet and all
are drunk already. Am I going straight?

Going straight? Beautifully.

See that, commissioner? With liberals
like you,

there is no way we can fight against crime!

- Sure. We're lucky to have
you on board!

Breathe. Breathe!

- commissioner, why don't people like us?

Come, miss!

Sit yourself!

Would you like some?

Any of that?
- No, not the fat meat.

- all right, let's have this
then. Help yourself!

Help me! There. Right.

Now, you take it, with the fork.
And please, this all stays

between the two of us, all right?
And if you didn't know anything,

just look at me and I will
give you wink, right?

You can't be mine...

- In Hodonin,
- they recruited me.

My hair was falling.

- Father!
- O, you can't be mine...,

... you, blue eyes.

Broken china on a wedding brings?
good luck, Blaza!

- Thank you, auntie.

Lucky it wasn't the vase we gave them.

The one you gave them has already been
through a few weddings, right, Ruzenka?

You shouldn't have bothered!

No problem, my friend. You
are the one who is worse off now.

A baby at home,
the father in jail...

Blaza, what are you doing here?
Come!

- Who is it?
- Who do you think? Come!

- That's her!
- Yes, that's her!

Would you like an extra piece?

- She seduced him!
- Nobody seduced him. Come!

- She seduced him and you
are on her side!

On my wedding, she is in
the kitchen!

- We can't leave her on the stairs,
can we? Come!

- The whore!
- What did you say?

- She didn't mean it!
- I will... something will happen!

Something will happen to me!

- Listen, you tell your
miss daughter,

to watch her mouth, all right?

In your best interest!

- I'll tell her! Don't worry!
- Tell her all right!

- What did she say, mom? Tell her
there is no room for whores here!

- What? What?

- Calm down!
- Let go!

Look madame, I've had enough!

Violence against the soul, eh?
That's what you said!

I won't take these insults!
- I'll give her something to calm her down.

Bitch!

Now the goose is all over it. And
I had this cleaned yesterday!

- Listen, why are you here?

It's the lady. She followed me everywhere,
said I ruined her life and all...

... because of me.
So I wanted to...

But I will not be insulted!

I can throw this away now.

If I had known how this ends up, I would
never have come to you.

Who did he think I was?
- He who?

He, the first one... the one, who
was the third... that one.

I don't know anymore.

If he doesn't care, I don't
care too.

So you had your revenge. And everyone
will suffer now.

It is a noble and difficult task,
to fight against crime.

You know what it takes? It takes
logical thinking and insight.

Brothers, please, punish
the wild ones,

help the poor, support the sick,

Have patience for all.

And respect...
And people hate you.

See how lucky you are? The policemen on
this wedding are human beings.

Cause if the tough guys were here,

Finished! Over!

I am a human being, aren't I?

- Yes.
- Now tell me, frankly,

Would you marry a policeman?

But since the light appeared there,
nothing happened in the end, right?

- It was an attempted rape.
And that is a crime too!

But it was different with the first
one. You see, he was...

That wasn't just attempted.

- See, the father almost
hanged himself.

Fortunately the ceiling
is rotten!

What did he say?
- Sssssssssh!

Listen, the lady said, this can be settled
under the new principles...

...the new... community citizenship
principles.

- What?

- If I took it back. The testimony.

- Do it. But it's not that easy.

- I don't care anymore.

Dear young couple,
on this day,

when you enter the great hall
of our castle,

to make the most beautiful
promise, the promise of husband and wife...

...this day is, and I believe
it will remain,

the most beautiful
day of your lives.

In this special moment, your
gratitude belongs to those,

who loved you the most, who
cared for you,

and did everything they could to make
your lives happier than their.

Your happiness will be their
biggest pleasure.

Yes.

Single ticket to Oubenice.

No discount, I lost the card.
- I know you, you travel here every day.

If we ever meet again, act like we
don't know each other, ok?