Surprise (2018) - full transcript

(Laughing)

Hows the writing going?

I can't escape it.

The ghosts of my former self come back to haunt me.

They follow me, as I write in peace

with the backdrop of so much pain...

Your'e one of the greatest

horror writers of our time.

... I was.

I have a new story to tell the world...

But even my ghost’s cast shadows.



Our Father, who art in heaven

hallowed be thy name

thy kingdom come

thy will be done in earth

as it is in heaven.

Give us this our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive them what trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom

the power and the glory

forever and ever

Amen



Still a believer?

A man of faith cannot be a rational man...

You’ve had an early start to the day

Too early

as they say.

And you come all this way

just for me?

I’ve been walking by your side for quite sometime.

You must be exhausted.

Of all the places you thought of to hide from me

You are no recluse

even when in the company of strangers.

I thought I was familiar with this place.

But people move on

And boy, have you tried.

Shall this be over soon?

Am i to be silenced before i speak?

I’ve made a few amendments.

If I cannot inspire love

I will create fear.

and im far better at my job

than you are

I try to inspire people

how?

when you can’t even inspire yourself?

Your in my story now

and these

characters you write

there all mine now...

(laughing)

You a member?

Ahh of course..

Ten pound love

Thanks Dad!

Are you lost sweetheart?

Oh here for the...the Fright Night

Course you are.

I erm i got this sent in the post

Say no more

Your with the breakfast club over there

I was thinking of writing a thriller you know

a Stephen King type project you know what i mean?

Huh hi

Hiya your with us i think?

oh hi erm you must be erm

urghhh to tell you the truth i have know idea?

The writers thing

yes yes the write night

or what ever its called? Yes yes.

Sit

I got us a table

Erm not that its busy or anthing but erm..

Yes im Patrick my the way..

Oh Debbie nice to meet you

nice to meet you too yes.

So....

Your just another writer too

Oh well

I wouldn't say anyones just a writer

We are all just creaters after all

I think your in a world of your own love

Debbie ..this is Laura

Oh lovely to meet you

Of course it is

So Debbie what brings you here?

erm well ..the same as you two i imagine

And what do you know about it because

we know absolutely fuck all

I got sent this in the post

and it says

Ahh yes

Wednesday the 31st 6pm

The Old Familiar social club

Invite writers to showcase and pitch their..

Sorry can i just stop you there

Oh sure

Oh i got nothing to say

i just wanted to stop you there.

Laura be nice.

This is me being nice.

Its just harmless banter Patrick

Well has the youth say.

Well

this is

honestly

the first time ive ever been

in one of these social clubs

I find it quite homey

They got wine on tap.

Homey isnt exactly the word id use to discribe it

Speaking of which does any one want a drink?

Still time for ones pleasantries

before the others arrive.

How many are expected?

I dont know but there was a good turn out last year.

Huh people..

I thought this was the first year?

No no no there was one last year too.

oh did you come to that too?

no i was in the states

erm i was in New York

same time last year but erm

they go really big there

erm but its different since i've come here

Oh well

theres no trust in the neighbourhoods

anymore is there?

But still its mainly for the kids.

Yeah thats why Patrick likes it

To many knocks to the head init?

Oh are you a fighter?

No

No im not

Safer for me on the other side of the ropes

Oh like a sports writer?

yes

yes i live through the pages of my work

you know erm

i may not be in there

but im eye to eye

with a clenched fist

pen in my hand

3....2...1

Get back in the room

Well i thought that was lovely Patrick

truely insperational

Have you done horror stories before?

Well like i said i am a sports writer

same territory

Oh you didnt know?

We are in the presence

of the Stephen king of the boxing world

No no let us be the judge of that

That's me Gem

Goodnight love.

See you later Frank

huh hum

Another drink is that?

huh hum

Sorry but can you please keep it on the plate.

Hey Birthday girl

What seems to be the problem this time Gem?

Well its just..

Its just nothing Gemma

May i surgest you present yourself behind the bar

where you belong.

Save your breath love closing time

Partys over.

Sorry to say sweety but

your mum has the worst taste in

selecting venues for her daughters

birthday surprise.

(whisper) He will come for you.

And i will make sure your father

hears all about this.

And ill make sure that my uncle brian

knows that you kid

has ruined his freshly varnised tables.

How do you like those toffee apples sweetheart?

(whisper) You have woken him up.

i think its time you leave

Preferably right now and preferably for good.

GEMMA HARTLEY

He'll come to collect you

don't be scared you'll fly away too.

Fly all the way up

to join them in the clouds.

I will not forget this

and i'll make sure you never will either.

(whisper) you've woken him up.

Hey mate you alright?

Come on lets go.

Come hide with me quick.

He'll come find you too.

He'll come find you too.

He'll come find you too.

(laughing)

Ready or not here i come.

(Scream)

(Laughter)

(laughing)

Surprise to see me Gemma?

You're at my party now.

Come to smile?

Are you laughing?

Save you're breath

The partys over.

Take out the bit with IT.

There won't be anything left.

i mean

the mum whos reading the book

Take it out.

Foreshadowing

to start the film

you always have all these little

facts in there you know.

Oh my god its him.

Who

The guy over there at the bar.

What. The demon Head Master?

I used to be his student in six form.

What lesson?

Writing for the screen

But the last i heard

he left his wife

and went over to europe.

anyway sorry

Its okay its faces from the past and all that.

He hasn't aged a day.

He must be one of the Judges.

well...those who can't do teach.

Complements from the mangement.

Is it just us three competing?

I wouldn't like to say sir.

Oh! What is in this?

Don't ask such things.

Have a good night

Gentlemen

and ladies.

You not a drinker?

well..i don't know

well your reaction didn't excactly sell it to me.

Go on it'll help you loosen up a bit.

Well its not just that its just...

Im on these pills.

Finally something we've got in common.

No i just don't want to take a chance.

They..

thin my blood.

not to give to much detail.

Well.....you just did.

Good evening class.

Mr Reivers

Debbie

how wonderful of you to except

my invitation

You rememberd my name?

Well

Can i just say

you don't look a day older

than the last time we met.

Care to join us?

That is of course

why i'm here.

So your'e one of the judges?

Jury and executioner

Yes Patrick.

It was i that invited the three of you here.

I hope you prepeared

Getting there.

You not drinking?

I never drink wine.

Patrick.

Not why im driving at least.

Thanks for the drinks anyway...

Here we go

red wine

mixed with

Jesus

The full tilt Boogie.

Know what im asking for now.

well

I'm not

gonna drink that.

No offence

So

are all three of you familiar

with each others work.

erm...well

We haven't really

gotten into that yet

i mean

We didn't know what to expect

we didn't know how many people would be here?

All Familiars

I can assure you of that.

So your a regular at this place?

Only when i need to be Patrick.

So

What have you been doing since teaching?

Well

It's like years ago

A lot of travelling Debbie.

Keeping things fresh.

Vary it up a bit.

Are you a gypo?

So

What have you brought

for me this evening Debbie?

Homework?

shall we call it?

Erm well

My love of film never really left me

oh i recall

you always was very fond of it.

remember back in the day

Well i always just

stayed with me

Quitely collecting dust

erm

anyway

The film that

i want to put forward this evening is erm

Its not really the style

i want to be remembered for making

i was very proud of it

at one point.

So what are you hoping to catch today then?

A shark.

A shark?

I don't think your nets big enough for a shark.

I'm gonna put it back silly.

Ahh well of course.

Besides

daddy hasn't got enough room

in his freezer for a full shark i don't think.

Why would you put a shark in the freezer?

we can put it in the fishtank with George.

Well sweetheart.

Whatever you find

mummy will be very proud of you anyway alright.

Becareful of sharks.

ROBERT!

ROBERT!

Yes boss.

Phone call

said it's urgent

Right you soft lad whos next?

Nice stretches

Long night is it?

With you it never is.

Yes.

You know im on leave right?

okay okay

Tell lou i' ll get there as quick as i can.

Well why isn't he there yet?

Fine.

Well if you keep me talking im not gonna be

twenty minutes am i.

i'm hangin up now.

Bad timing?

With you it's never a good one.

Come on offer to clean the gym again tonight.

Come on what have you got to lose?

Tomorrow.

Tonight.

What if something else come up.

I'm counting on it.

Sorry sir, you can't come through here

it's a restricted area.

It's okay hes with me.

Sergeant. Its okay.

Thanks Lou.

It's okay hes new.

Good vacation?

Yeah it was alright.

What we got?

It's a mess.

we got a young girl

swept along from the resivour in the floods

ID?

No.

Jane doe.

She could be one of those girls

hanging up on the wall in the office.

Drowning?

eh?

Drowning?

Well it could be drowning.

we won't know till the autopsy boys

have had a go at her.

Looks like somebody already did.

Shes cute.

Fucksake Lou.

Hey.

Six foot

Blonde

beautiful.

You'd of nailed her.

Shit.

Well speaking of shit.

Whats that?

Sweethearts.

What?

You know the sweets?

I love you.

Be mine.

Yours forever.

They where stuffed in her throat.

Lou.

We need to talk.

In situations like this

i wonder what columbo would do.

ohh

ohh one more thing.

Lou

You never take anything serious.

Well as long as im this side of

the body bag

that's the way it's gonna stay

Ahh look

i can

feel bad

erm

What is it you wanted to say.

Her name

is Penny.

What? The girl in the body bag?

We went for a drink.

You went for a drink?

With the girl in the..When?

About six weeks ago.

Where did you meet her?

We met.

Now don't laugh.

We met on tinder.

Tinder.

Ohh.

Ahh that's beautiful...tinder.

ohh

Everything was fine we'd you know we'd

we'd talk for a while we'd

met up in a bar and erm

we...we had a few drinks.

i did the gentlemanly thing i tried to call her.

Call her a few time actually.

She never picked up my calls.

Not seen anything of her

she disapeared.

Untill now.

Correct.

The hand marks were they you?

No.

Use a condom?

Yeah of course.

You scared they are gonna find out?

No.

I'm scared my wife will find out.

Ahh.

Yes.

Still got the touch.

Yeah.

Your'e in trouble.

You forgot to fix the washer.

Jesus.

What have you been upto since i've been gone?

They for me?

This for you being home from the gym?

Again.

I'm sorry love but something came up at work.

I thought you was off this week?

So did I.

Oh poor you.

I know what you want.

That new place down the road.

Lets have a lovely evening dinner down there..

Maybe tomorrow

(Yawnning)

A bit tired are we?

Late night?

It was a late night again erm

i have had a word with the surperviser so

hopefully from next week i'll be on days.

But.

I still have to be at the Hospital in an hour.

There's pizza in the fridge

i really need to get ready for work.

Boss.

Where the fuck have you been?

You been broken in our something?

Yes because some fuckin idiot took the keys.

Look i told you i was gonna clean up last night

Oh yeah is this it?

Ehh..and did you?

Did you fucking leave something behind?

Ehh?

Robert.

You know this one as well?

When did you last see her?

Yesterday.

Yesterday?

The nurses outfit is this any

significance?

(Phone ringing)

My brother comes here.

Sorry love theres been an incedent at the gym.

What's going on mate?

There's about to be one at home to.

You not working tonight honey?

What are we going to do to you?

That's a rhetorical question

I'm really not expecting an answer.

It will take hours for that substance to wear off.

And by that time

I'll be the only one here.

Well i don't know.

You start off trying to conquer the world

and you end up six feet under it.

You've

been a very bad boy

Mr Faraday.

Be mine?

Well.

We tried that didn't we?

Guess who?

I wonder who that could possibly be?

The girl at the bar?

Maybe?

or

the girl at the gym?

Your Fucked.

Mr Tinder.

Is he still alive?

Depends on what you class as alive?

A see the knifes came in handy.

How many goes did you have at him?

Evidently not enough.

Daddy what a pop?

mmm no

I'll deal with the aftermath.

Did it make you sad Robert?

Knowing

that every year

from this date forward

I'll have your disapearance

to remember.

You was always to good for him.

You've got mail!!

Expecting it to rain, are we?

It's very peculiar here.

You’ve just figured that out.

Could i just have a water please?

I'm alright thanks.

What's that smell?

They had samples in the toilet.

Fuckin sunblock?

It's moisturiser.

I think I know what sun cream smells like.

Don’t be fooled by this pigment

It's the middle of fucking autumn.

Ahhh.

Here take a fresh one.

I'm sorry about that.

No don't worry about it.

I do apologise.

It’s fine, just a small cut.

What happened?

I’m fine, really.

Just a bit of a shock that's all.

Well

back to the main narrative of this evening then.

Care to invest a tale to this event Laura?

So anyway erm.

when you had it off with Denzel Washington right.

Come on hurry up and take the fuckin picture

Yeah of course.

You get there time in a minute.

Collecting flies the poor las.

Make her look pretty.

Alright sweetheart.

Here we go.

Chuck us a big smile.

Erm?

Can we try.

Just smile with your eyes.

Okay.

Just smile with your eyes

That's better.

Oh that's better.

Huhh..

Tacete! Canes!

What?

Shut up! You fuckin dogs!

You speak Latin?

Only when it’s convenient, apparently

And you thought

now

to be that time?

A dead language.

Reflecting what?

Your career?

Your anxiety?

Humour me.

They say you only die twice.

Once when your body fails and

twice when

your names spoken to for the last time

And in what order will that benefit you?

You have aspirations

on what you want to accomplish in this life.

Correct?

So why is it?

That this shoot

is dramatically put on hold

because you cannot keep your tongue pressed

firmly against those teeth?

Well your photographer...

One takes a picture of a rose,

regardless of the equipment or the skill

behind it.

It is still a rose.

Correct?

I’m sorry if I’ve insulted you in some way.

I just wanted some...

direction.

professionalism...

Direction?

Professionalism?

Mannequin?

Do you know what a mannequin is?

Yeah.

Mannequin does not talk,

you see, a mannequin

is a blank canvas

that one can showcase clothing

You are here to sell the items you are wearing,

not what is underneath them.

It doesn’t matter who we get,

the clothing sells itself.

A mannequin is for display purposes only,

you bring as much to this shoot

as a fucking clothes-horse.

You stop to ask for direction?

Can I ask you a question real quick?

Am I telling you how to do your job,

or are you telling me how to do mine?

Because we’re not doing the latter

ON MY FUCKING TIME!!!

Here

take one for the road.

Now get the fuck out of my studio.

Do i know you?

It's possible we met once before.

But.

as you've no recolletion.

Then collectively..

no.

Well you obviously

didn’t leave a good enough impression

did you.

We never do.

Come around.

I knew you’d be here

What would you do if I wasn’t?

Wait, you’d come eventually

I didn’t want to be alone tonight

But you are.

Let's begin

Don't shut it out.

Let it in.

Let if feed on your darkest thoughts,

and desires.

Your hatred.

It is bound to you,

as you are to it.

Come

let it out.

Let it breath

yes ..having to entertain these fucking models

your sending me.

Amateurs

all thinking they’re going to be the next Cara...

They'll only be good enough for toilet selfies

when i'm done with them.

Gumtree!

You insult me with Gumtree!

calling themselfs freelancers

They haven't even got the decency

to come through a proper agency.

I don't give a fuck who they

advertise themselfs as.

It's just Craigslist without the STI.

I know I know

just being facetious

Yep

Yep I got the delivery.

Yep.

Fucking Yank.

Tacete!

The last your name will be spoken.

Byron.

A warm welcome ladies and gentlemen

to The Old Familiar.

For a very special evening.

My names Archie.

I'm your announcer and your Bouncer

You can heckel but i'll kick your teeth in.

Hello.

Hello sweetheart.

Hello Shania.

I've shagged her.

Let herself go a little bit.

Haven't we all?

And now without further ado

Sorry i missed this one.

Each writer is going to come up

display his talents for you.

Please.

Show your appreciation to them.

We'll get on with the evening.

So...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

What you doing man?

What was that?

(laughing)

Relax.

Are screams not the soundtrack of halloween?

The very ambience of this evening?

They are merely gunshots to bonfire night.

The sounds that dwell

in familiarity of darkness.

Excactly.

So don't be scared Laura.

You won't feel a thing.

I promise you.

You see

I am really the ONLY writer in attendance

this evening.

You are my

my characters

my puppets

my pawns.

For me to do with what ever i wil.

Your not here to tell your stories.

YOU ARE THE STORIES.

SURPRISE!!!!

HAHAHAHA!!