Supernova (2020) - full transcript

We're not going back,
you know.

Hey. Head.

I don't know why you didn't
just let me pack for you.

Tusker?

Why didn't you let me pack
for you?

- Do you hear that sound?
- What sound?

Do you hear it? Listen.

It's the sound of me
ignoring you.

Well, we're not going back

because you realised you
forgot something again.

That's all I'm saying.



Not if we're gonna stick
to this schedule of yours.

Well, do you think you could
drive just a little faster?

I mean, if you drive any slower,

I might as well
fucking walk there.

Yes, well, you'll be
walking there in a minute.

How about just exploring

the outer regions of fifth gear?

- All right. That's better.
- That's good.

Didn't you hear
what it was doing?

Yes, but it still sounds
like second.

No, it doesn't.

It's like second sounds
like second at...

you know, 50 miles an hour.

Just let me know
if you wanna use the thing.



- What?
- Just in case it's easier.

The satnav.

No. No.

It's what we bought it for.

No, it's what you bought it for.

I can't stand it. I can't
stand to listen to that voice

because I feel like
I'm back in school again.

You feel like you've done
something wrong.

You haven't turned right.

You're supposed to turn right.

Why aren't you turning right?

How many decades do you have
to live in this country

for that to make any sense?

I'm just curious.
You find it soothing?

Oh, yeah.

Keep this, I love.

- Don't you remember this?
- No, I don't.

You don't?
Where were you in the '70s?

Sing it with me.

Think I might need
a lie down soon.

- Really?
- Mm.

Make a little pit stop.

Sam...

I'm fine.

All right, we'll go on
for a bit, and then

call it a day.

There's no point in
overdoing it.

Have you finished?

Oh, yes. Thank you very much.
Thank you.

Can I ask you?

Did you want one?

An autograph?

From him?

'Cause I saw you looking

and I wasn't sure
if you wanted one.

- Tusker.
- No, it's all right. He's very shy.

You normally...

Do you have a pen on you?

All right. But if you want one,

he'll sign one for you.

He's shy, but he will.

Either on a napkin
or if you have

one of his piano albums,
he'll...

- Thanks.
- Okay.

All right. Thank you.

Very nice of you. Thank you.

How did you come to be
this person?

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't even know why I do it,
because

it really isn't even satisfying
any more,

half the time anyway.

Oh, so why do you do it?

Because of the other half.

It's good to get back
on the road again,

don't you think?

I didn't think she was going
to start.

Well, the guy in the garage said

she's in pretty good nick,
considering.

That's good.
She hasn't let us down yet.

Thanks.

For what?

This.

That's 45.80.

Thank you.

Fuck.

Shit.

Tusker?

Tusker!

Shit.

Shit.

Fuck!

Tusker.

Wish you'd let me cook more,
you know?

Why? it smells delicious.

Just feel like a child.

Oh, stop.
You're doing brilliantly.

Oh, these onions.

Let me do something, all right?

Come on,
I'm not completely useless.

No, you sit there. Be quiet.

Hey.

- Are you all right?
- Yeah. You all right?

I'm really, really sorry
that I scared you today.

Will you stop apologising? Hmm?

No, I just...

Well, you got a little confused.
And that happens,

- we both know that.
- Well...

- Yeah, but that was...
- Oh, come on.

Looks like a clear night.
Get the telescope out?

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

Then I can teach you
a thing or two.

Where'd you put your pills?

Washbag?

Think that's where I put them.

- Sam...
- Yes?

I didn't bring them.

What?

Tusker, I told you
I should've packed.

No. No. I took them out.

Why?

Because I didn't want them.

- Tusker, it's...
- What? It's my choice.

I didn't want them.

We both know that they're not
doing anything anyway.

We have to try.

It's just

that they remind me

that I'm ill.

And I don't want that.

Not right now.

Any good?

Oh, no.

It's, erm...

I'm getting through it.

I love this piece.

- You always say that.
- Mm.

And, yet, you never play it
for me.

How's it going?

It's not.

Anything you want to talk about?

No. No, no. No, no.

I'll let you know.

Writer's block?

- Let's make a tape.
- What?

You never want to make a tape.

I know. But I brought the thing.

- So...
- No, it's okay.

I have it. I have it.

You said you wanted to do
some work.

Yeah, I know, but...

Okay.

Well, it's not gonna
write itself.

- There. You... You...
- Yes. All right.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

So, er, today is the October 20.

And welcome to
Dementia Hour on BBC Four.

Yeah. Are we, er, gonna
take it seriously, or...

Yes. We are.

- Soon?
- Yes, sorry. All right.

Right, erm,
so, how are you feeling?

- Good. Happy.
- Yeah?

Mm.

Having a nice time?

- Mm-hmm. And you?
- Hmm.

Er, never a dull moment.

And are you happy to be here?

I'm happy to be with you.

And where are we?

Erm...

Actually, I haven't
got a clue where we are.

Oh.

Erm...

And what's it like for you?
This.

I'm asking the questions.

Right. Yeah, it's fine for me.

Liar.

Er, it has its moments.

Mm.

I'm afraid I haven't
been much help lately.

No, you help me a lot.

So, can you tell...

that it's gotten worse?

All right.

If you had one wish in
the world, what would it be?

I wish this holiday
wouldn't end.

How about you?

Well, I wish I didn't have
this thing.

Idiot!

Yeah. The bloody thing.

You know,

you just sit there

doing nothing.

Propping up the entire world.

After 300 yards, turn left.

She can just fuck off.

She's getting us there
a lot quicker than you were.

Really?

She sounds like
Margaret fucking Thatcher.

First it's Section 28,

and now she's gonna tell us
where to go on our holiday.

After 100 yards, turn left.

Turn left.

Is this it?

We might not be able to
camp there any more, you know.

Probably have rules against
these things now.

Really?

Well, I don't give a shit.

What's the worst
that can happen?

We'll pay a fine or whatever.

What... Well, you know,
how much can it be?

Well, we'll have to
find it first.

Well, I'm...
I'm sure the Iron Lady

will help us get there.

Is this really the right road?
I'm just sayin'...

We're goin' over.

Listen,
you don't look at me,

I won't look at you, and then...

Just look at the road.

We'll stay on the road,
OK?

I can look at you,
I'm not driving.

But if you look at me,
I look at you.

- Well, don't.
- Well, don't look at me.

Hmm.

Well, it certainly
hasn't changed much.

We slept in that minuscule car
of yours.

Yeah, and we'd
only known each other

for about five minutes.

It was long enough for you
to tell me you love me.

- Did I?
- Mm.

Really?

Well, I've always been
very impulsive.

Come on.

Whoop.

- You find it?
- Er...

Er...

No.

- No?
- No.

Let me see. Hold those.

Okay...

Hey, ah, there it is.
You found it, you found it.

- Did I?
- Yeah, that's it.

Oh. Good Lord.

Beginner's luck.

No, you had very...
a very good teacher.

You got it?

Oh, yeah.
Beautiful. Beautiful.

By the way,
I reserved your usual seat.

- For the concert.
- Oh, okay, thanks.

Not that I'm expecting many
people to show up, really.

Well, then...

it'll be very relaxing
and casual.

Good way for you
to get back into it.

Teach me.

What?

- That?
- Hmm.

Now?

Why?

I want to learn.

All right,
I want to be able to find it.

- All right.
- Try.

Okay. So, erm...

First, you have to find
the, erm...

the...

Mm, what do you call it?

It's a shape. This shape.
This shape.

- Triangle?
- Yeah, triangle.

And...

you have to find the three

brightest lights there

that make the triangle.

- These ones? These ones?
- Mm-hmm.

Then draw a line
horizontally through it.

And that's where
the Milky Way is.

Oh.

We could just go home, you know.

There's no pressure
to do all this.

No, I don't wanna go home.

Yeah, but it's really
not important.

No, it really is important, Sam.

It really is.

It's okay.

Mm.

I like it when you do that.

It's nice.

It makes me instantly sleepy.

Oh, Lord.

Jesus Christ, Ruby.

- 'Night.
- Okay.

- Good night, Sam.
- 'Night.

- Hi! Hey. Hi. Hey.
- You made it.

Aw! Come here, you.

Look at you! You got so tall!

You took your bloody time.

It's that satnav thing.
It's terrible!

Where's Ruby? Did you bring her?
Can I see her?

Come on, Ruby. Come on out.

- Oh! Isn't she adorable!
- Oh!

She keeps us very busy.

Yes, you can say that again.

- Yeah, I bet.
- Clive! Hello.

Leave your stuff,
we'll get it later.

Oh, it's good to see you.

How are you,
then, you old sod?

I am as fit as a bloody fiddle.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

What's your name again?

- Tusker!
- Oh, sorry. Okay.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- Good to see you.
- Nice to see you.

Good timing.
Just put the kettle on.

- Great.
- Good journey?

Yes, yes, er,
it was seamless.

He's okay.

We're okay.

Are you?

We need to have a proper chat
about your plans.

I mean,

have you thought some more
about getting help?

Someone to take
the pressure off you a bit.

I mean,

even if it's just a few days
a week,

it might make
all the difference.

Do you honestly think he would
get on board with that?

- Fat chance.
- Okay.

Anyway, we're not there yet.

Yeah, but what...

He's adapting.

And trying to keep control
of things.

His independence, you know.

Is he still writing?

Oh, that's good.
That's really good.

You know, planning
this little trip

has really put a spring
in his step.

Mm.

Ever since this idea came up,

the recital,

he hasn't stopped talking
about it. Dog with a bone.

I don't think I'm doing this
very well, sis.

Hey. You are.

It's my turn now,

- and I just...
- Hello.

- Hello.
- Hi..

So, we're sleeping in the van.
It's easier.

No. We're gonna stay
in your old room.

What?

- What do you mean?
- It's made up for you.

Yeah. I thought you knew that.

Right. So, I'll just go
and get the bags, then.

- It'll be romantic.
- Yes.

I'll give you a hand.

Don't know why
I plan anything.

Aw!

Mm. Thank you for this, Lil.

Oh, I've been looking forward
to it for weeks.

- Me too.
- Is it all still a... Mm...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Shh.
Mum's the word.

You always seem somehow to
get your own way, don't you?

- Oh, come on, it's cosy.
- No, it's ridiculous.

- No, it's not. It's nice.
- It is. Come on,

you're in the middle
of the fucking bed.

I am not... I am on the edge.

Now I'm more on the edge.

- Are you okay?
- That's it! I'm sleeping

- in the darn van.
- No, you... No, no, no.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come over here.
Come here. Come here.

- Yeah, well, move over a bit.
- All right, all right.

Come here, come here.
Come here. I'll keep you in.

I just hope you're entertained.

I'll be like a little...

little rail for you
like kids have.

There you go. Bed rail.

- Here we go.
- I can't...

- Is it better?
- Just give me some...

- I can't breathe.
- I was trying to stop you...

Well, I'm sure it'll be
fine, but as you know, I've...

I've not done one
for quite a while. Yes.

Great, well, we're staying, er,

somewhere nearby
for the weekend,

so if I... if I just
drive over on Sunday...

Are you selling?

Alright. Well, looking forward.
Thank you.

Hey.

Good girl.

Hey, all right, all right.
I got it. I got it.

- Mm.
- Yes.

I knew I'd be successful
enough one day

to have my own dresser.

Yeah, well, this is tricky,
you know?

There you go.

Remember that New Year's walk?

When Charlotte was a baby?

When Lilly got us lost?

Er, no, Lilly didn't
get us lost, you got us lost.

- No, I didn't.
- Mm-hmm.

I...

Well, I thought Clive was
gonna have to call

an air ambulance.
He was so hungover.

He was hungover.

Hey.

I found a place online
a few days ago,

it could be great for us,
I think.

I'll show it to you
when we get back.

It's a bungalow.
It's right in Holtenby.

It's so close to town.

Mm-hmm.

We need to plan, Tusker.

We're not moving, Sam.

You know,
somewhere better suited.

- To what?
- It'll make it much easier.

No.

Home is home and
that's where we're staying.

What actual difference
does it make?

- No. It's our place.
- Home can be anywhere

- as long as it's us.
- We made it the way we... No.

I'm gonna do this concert.

Then I'm gonna call it a day.

- Properly this time.
- No.

I don't want you to do that.

Well, it's not about me.

It's about us.

No, but that's not fair
to you, and I won't let you.

Yes, but I want to.

- I want to do this.
- No. Nope.

No, I want to be with you.

I want to be with you
every moment.

Shh. All right...

I want to be with you
every moment.

It's important.

Lilly must be having
people over or something.

Hmm.

So many cars.

Come on. What's going on?

That's it. Where'd they go?

Lilly?

Clive?

Surprise!

I thought we'd have a party!

Yeah!

You did it!

It was everywhere...

- Can I join you?
- Sure.

Sorry, I had to get out
of there. I can't, erm...

Sometimes it's difficult
to be around

a lot of people these days.
It's a bit...

- Take your time.
- Mm-hmm.

So you'll take care of him,
right?

Of course.

Thank you.

Tusker took me to Japan...

- Oh.
- ...when we first met.

We used to travel
quite a bit back in the day.

- Yeah.
- Really?

We haven't always been
this boring.

Not this boring.

- Or have we?
- You have.

No, it's probably me.
Yeah, just me.

When are we gonna see it?

- See what?
- "See what"?

This new book of yours.

Oh! It's coming, it's coming.

- It's taken you long enough.
- Paul!

Well, er, what do you care?
You never read them, anyway.

Well, maybe I'll start.

No, you'd never get past
the first chapter.

It's far too high-brow for you.

Well, he's got a point.

You know, he's almost finished.

What's it about?

Oh, don't ask him that.

He won't even let me read
a single word,

and I used to proofread
everything.

I'll let you read it.

So, where are you going

in that bloody great thing
out there, anyway?

Well, he has a gig.

Yeah, he's practically
frog-marching me there to do it.

No, I'm not.

I'm going to see
if I'm still any bloody good.

- You will be.
- You will be wonderful.

- Will I? Will I?
- Yes.

- And where's our invite?
- Mm..

Em... Let's just see
how it goes.

Chances are I'm a bit rusty.

So...

I would like to know

how my favourite
goddaughter's doing.

And are you seeing anyone?

Maybe.

- She's in love.
- Really?

Tell me. Who is it?
I wanna know everything.

He's just a guy.
I've known him for ages.

He's tryin' to write
a novel too, actually.

- Oh, really?
- Mm.

Oh, that's wonderful!

That's great! Wait, is it good?

Is it better than mine?

Tell him to stop immediately.
I never liked that boy.

Terrible child. Yes.

Well, thank you so much.

I don't know
if I have any cash on me.

Do you take a credit card?

I'd like to make a speech.

Shhh.

I, er...

Sorry.

Erm, I'm just...

I'm very happy to have everybody

here together after a very
long period of time, it seems,

and I really appreciate you,

erm, making the effort to come.

I'm very excited. Erm...

And...

Sorry, just, it's...
This gets a little...

Sorry...

Um... Well, maybe...

- maybe Sam will do it for me.
- Yes, I'd love to.

Why don't you do it for me,
as I can't.

Yes, of course.

My... My big moment.

Thanks, Tusker.

Erm... "Well,
thank you all for coming.

Er, looking around me,

I'm reminded how lucky
we all are"

to have each other.

There's so much history here
in this room

and that's a really
beautiful thing.

Er, Lilly and Clive,
thanks for having us all."

It's a pleasure.

Er, "This place is where Sam
grew up,

but it's also always felt
like home to me too,

since I crossed the pond
all those years ago.

So many happy times here.

As the years go by,

it seems to get harder
and harder

to stay in touch, doesn't it?

So it's times like these

when we are allowed to remember

how important friends
and family are.

Loyal.

A comforting arm in a...

a lonely moment,

a bed for the night,

someone to share a bottle with."

"I guess in time,

we will need these things

more than we ever have.

Now, as most of you will know,

I am slowly losing my ability
to remember

and to do certain things.

Not big things,

but it does mean
it probably won't be long

before I'll totally forget who
Tim is,

which I've been trying
my hardest to do

for about 30 years, anyway."

"Now, there will come a time,

when I will forget who is
even doing the forgetting.

And then, well,

I'll probably not
have a care in the world.

But until then,

I'll be able to think back to
the times we've all shared,

times like these,
and that's a great help."

To friendship!

To friendship!

Hmm...

Erm...

"But we all wouldn't be here,

and I definitely
wouldn't be here"

if it weren't for this man
next to me.

He's the best thing
that has ever happened to me,

and I don't know
what I'd do without him.

Just look around this room, Sam.

So many people
who care about you.

Never forget that.

So, I'd just like to say,
'Thank you, Sam,

for being my saviour,

my beloved,

and the best friend anyone
could ever wish for.'"

Yeah.

- To Sam!
- To Sam!

To Sam.

Can't believe Rick is here.

No, neither can I.
You know, he's been, er...

Mm-hmm. Twice.

He's a dark horse.

Literally. Never even spoke to
a woman when we knew him,

let alone get near enough
to be divorced by two of them.

Always the quiet ones, eh?

We all miss you, you know, Sam?

Yeah, I'm sorry, Tim.

Oh, don't be.

I don't mean like... I didn't
mean it like that at all.

- It's just been a bit...
- No, of course.

Of course, it has.

- He never stops, does he?
- Mm.

Oh.

Thank you for coming
all this way, Tim.

You kidding? I wouldn't have
missed this for the world.

Plus, the fact Tusker would
probably have me killed.

Yes, he can be very insistent.

Yes, you're telling me.

And how long has he been

fricking plotting all this,
anyway?

Months!

Oh, what a speech, eh?

Anyone would think
he was a writer.

I hear he's finding it
a bit, er...

yeah, a bit tougher,
er, recently?

Erm, I mean, that's only to be
expected, of course, but, er...

Who told you that?

Er, well, he did. Erm...

He said, er... Erm...

He said, when he tries to

put pen to paper, he... he...
he can't.

Sam, I'm so sorry. I didn't...

Sorry, I think I just...
I need a bit of air.

- Yes.
- But, er,

we'll be fine, you know.

Okay. All right.

- Thanks, Sam. Sorry, Sam.
- No.

I haven't spoken to Sam
about it yet.

He'll understand. He will.

Mum should never have stayed
here so long

in the first place.

Hard to let go, I suppose.

It's okay. Yes.

It's a fresh start.

- Yes.
- It's a good thing.

- I'll miss it.
- Yes.

But being sad something is gone

just means it was great
while it was there, right?

Come stay again
before that though, eh?

Yes, of course. Yes. Yes.

And you have to have a, erm,
housewarming party.

- Yep.
- Right? In the new place.

- Okay.
- Get this lot together again.

Sam would love that.
So you should do that.

I, erm...

I was reading
about a new medicine

- the other day.
- Mm-hmm. Mm.

Er, so I kept
the clipping for you.

It was something about
blood thinning tablets

they give to people
with heart problems.

They said that, apparently,
it can be really beneficial...

- Oh. Yes.
- ...if you like...

- Give it to me. Yes.
- Yeah?

- Okay.
- Thanks.

You know what the hard part is?

It's that you're...
you're just...

you're not supposed to
mourn someone

while they're still alive.

And, you know,
sharing a space with them,

sharing a bed with them,

- is just not fair.
- He... He's not.

- It's not...
- He's not.

Well, he must be, because I am.

You're still you, Tusker.

You're still the guy
he fell in love with.

No, I'm not.

I just look like him.

Which is a shame.

Pick a patch of sky.

that doesn't
have any stars in it.

- Okay.
- Alright, you got it?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Now make a circle, you know,

with your thumb
and your forefinger,

like this. Okay?
Look through it,

and imagine that
that's a telescope,

but an incredibly powerful
telescope.

What you would see would be,

like, a million galaxies.

That's bloody loads.

Yes. Yes, that is bloody loads.

But what's even more amazing

is that your body is made out of

bits of those stars.

What do you mean?

When a star gets really old,
okay,

it runs out of fuel

and it explodes,
like a firework.

- A massive one?
- Yes.

A massive, massive, massive one.

And then that star has died,

and it becomes really,
really bright

and it shoots out
all of this stuff,

and all that stuff
travels through space

over years, and years,
and years,

and years, and years, and years,

and years, and years, and years,

and years, and years,

and eventually,

it's what makes us.

So, we're all like stars, then?

Yeah.

But what's even
more incredible is, this ear,

could have come from
a completely different star

in a totally different galaxy

than this ear.

I don't understand.

Nah, it doesn't matter.

You know, a very wise man
once said that,

"We will not starve
for lack of wonders,

but from lack of wonder.

What does that mean?

It means you must
always ask questions.

Mum says I ask
too many questions.

Really?

Never stop asking questions,

no matter what your mother says.

You must never stop
asking questions.

- It's very important.
- Okay.

- Okay? You promise me?
- Promise.

Bye, guys. Bye.

Hello!

- Hello!
- Hi, Mr Mulliner?

- Yes, hi. Sorry we're late.
- It's okay.

I'm Rachel. I'm the one
you spoke to on the phone.

Yes, nice to meet you.

Yeah. Oh, it's great.

Did you say you were up here

on to a concert or something?

Er, yes. Tomorrow,
at Guildhall. Yeah.

Well, it's a beautiful spot.

Great.

Bye-bye, thank you.

Isn't this place great?

It's fantastic.

How is this?

Is it going to be okay for you?

Oh, that doesn't sound...
so good.

Hmm.

What do you think? I mean,
I don't... I can't tell.

You're the expert, but...

All right.
Well, I think I'm gonna go up

and have a lie down,
and I'll let you practice.

Why don't you do
some writing, Tusker?

Quiet place like this,
you could finish your book.

No. Not right now,
I don't really want to.

No, I... I think you should.
I want you to.

- Yes.
- I'll go get your writing stuff.

No. No. I'm fine. Really.

All right, let's do
another tape, then.

Why don't we do... Why don't
we do one of our tapes?

No, I don't feel like it.

- I don't.
- I do.

All right, let's do

it over here. Come on.

All right.

My name is Tusker Mulliner.

No. Sam, no. No. I don't...
No. I don't want...

What I am about to do
is my choice...

- No! No! I don't...
- ...and no one else's.

- Today is the 25th of October.
- Fuck.

And I'm about to take
my own life.

I have chosen to die now.

I do not wish to become
a burden to Sam

or anyone else.

I'm here completely alone,

and I am doing this in secret,

with no assistance
from anyone else.

My dear Sam, I just wanna say

that I love you
with all my heart,

and I'm...

I'm gonna go out
and take the dog for a walk,

and when I get back,
I'm gonna cook us dinner.

And then we're gonna pretend
none of this ever happened.

We should use the van more.

I mean,

freedom is why we bought it.
We can go where we want.

Europe maybe, if they'll still
fucking have us, that is.

We can go back to that
place in Italy.

We loved it there, you remember?

Do you remember?

Or... Or, erm,
the South of France.

You always wanted to go
to Provence.

And that wouldn't take long.

We could stop off at that place
in Paris

and eat at that, erm...
that bistro

on Rue Saint-Benoît
that you liked.

Fucking years ago now.

Think about... Think about
being out of the city.

No streetlights.

Huh? There's no light...

Er, what do you call it?
Pollution.

- Sam...
- It's beautiful, you know.

Probably don't even need
a telescope out here,

you can just get out.

Just get out there
and we'll finish this and, er...

Sam.

Do you remember...

when we came back from
the doctor the first day?

When we found out,
when we came home?

And I said something to you?

Do you remember what that was?

I told you
no matter what happens,

I did not wanna lose control
of my life.

I'm losing control. Now.

Where do you think
we're gonna be in six months?

- Together.
- Or a year.

Together. Still.

What do you think it'll be like?

- The same.
- No.

No. It won't be.

Okay?

And I didn't tell you

about what I've chosen to do

because even if you knew
about it...

Well, I know now, don't I?

- Don't I?
- Mm-hmm.

When they called
about the concert,

I thought that was...

It was the perfect opportunity

because then, you could prove

that you weren't with me
when I...

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Stop, we're not having
this conversation.

- Sam.
- Let's dance.

Sam.

Let's dance.

We don't dance any more, do we?
Just, come on.

- No, I don't... No, no. Sam.
- Let's dance. Let's dance.

Come on, we can still dance,
can't we?

It's okay. Just...

Sit down.

Sit down. Just sit down.

Okay.

Do you think I'm not scared,
Tusker? Is that it?

Do you think I don't spend
every single moment

thinking about how am I gonna
cope when this gets worse?

Every single hour of every
day since you got ill,

that's going round in my head.

Over, and over, and over.

Am I strong enough? Can I do it?

Can I live seeing you
not knowing what day it is,

not knowing where we are,

not knowing who I am?

I know. I know.

Or will it break me?
Will I just give up?

Put you in a fucking home,

visit you once a week.
Be done with it.

Sit there, reading your

favourite book to you,
knowing you...

You know what I've decided?

I'm strong enough.

I'll be okay.

And as long as there's breath
in my body,

I will look after you,
I will care for you,

I will wash you,
I will hold you,

I will wipe your fucking arse,

I will do my best to remind you
who I am,

and what we meant
to each other before all this.

I now think this is why I was
put here in the first place.

It was for you.

But I am scared.

I mean, fucking terrified,
if you must know.

And I never told you that.

So, you're not the only one
with secrets, Tusker.

But look what it's doing to you.

And that's not fair.

It's not about fair, is it?
It's about love.

Is it selfish?

Not to want to lose you?
Not to want to be alone?

I don't wanna be alone.

I know that. I know.

But...

I am dying.

Don't let me off the hook!

I want to do this.

I want to see this through,
with you, to the end.

That's my thing.

It's all I've got left.

No, it isn't, Sam.

Hmm.

What if I just tell everyone,
then?

What if I just shout it
from the fucking rooftops?

What would you do then?

We'd all be in trouble,
wouldn't we?

We'd all be guilty.

Or I could just drive away,
leave you here.

Well, you couldn't do it then.
Could you?

Cause you can't do anything
without me.

You need me.

Exactly.

Exactly.

I don't wanna be alone.

I'm becoming a passenger.

And I'm not a passenger.

This thing is taking me
to a place

where I don't want to go.

And no one is going to be able
to bring me back.

And...

I can't.

No, I can't do that.

I knew something
was going on, all right.

If I'm honest, I knew. I just,
you know...

You don't spend all those

years with someone without...
without noticing the little...

Yeah. I know.

I didn't wanna say anything.

Just didn't want to admit
to myself

that you knew it was getting
worse too.

How long have...

Christ, you even got me a dog?

Fuck.

Sam, you need to listen to me.

I want to be remembered...

for who I was,

but not...

for who I'm about to become.

That's the only thing
I can control.

And that's all I have left.

What if it doesn't work?

It'll work.

I know what I'm doing.

I can't believe
we're having this...

I can't wait any longer.

You can.

There's always more time.

No.

Very soon,

I'm going to look at your face

and I'm not going to know

who it is that's
staring back at me.

Can't we just go home?

Let's just go home.

No.

No.

I'm not going home.

And if you love me,
you'll let me do this.

If you really love me.

You'll break my heart.

It'll last forever.

You have to let me go.

You have to let me go.

- I can't.
- Well, yeah.

I can't. Please.

It's okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Just hold me.

Please.

That sounds beautiful.

Yeah, I think it's gonna be
all right.

- Did I wake you?
- Mm-mm.

What time is it?

Let me be with you.