Super Shark (2011) - full transcript

This is captain Jackson.

Status?

All quiet, sir.
Nothing to report.

All right. Hold your
positions till further notice.

Here he comes!

Engage the enemy.

This isn't working.

Hey, pops,

what's the point of
patching all this stuff up?

What?

Half the stuff doesn't work.



The other half
keeps breaking down.

I mean, you'd think
a big oil company

would let loose a few bucks,

keep everything nice and tidy.

I think it's
all that chemical gunk

they keep pouring
down the shaft.

That's what's
mucking everything up.

You know, I hear that stuff

literally eats away at the rock,

disintegrates it.

Just having the stuff on
the rig makes me nervous,

let alone pouring it
into the ocean.

Ah, there they go.

They're getting ready to pour
that gunk down the shaft again.



At the rate they're going,

I'm surprised they haven't

busted clean through
to China by now.

Ah, there it goes.

Oh, man.

What's happening?

I don't know.

I think something busted.

Maybe we did
break through to China.

Whoa!

Oh, God. We gotta
get out of here!

Whuhh!

I'm standing outside
treymar industries,

where there is
much speculation today

concerning the sudden collapse

of their offshore
oil platform nautilus,

which was operating just 10
Miles from the California coast.

What information do we
have to go on at this point?

Well, um...

Our scientists believe that
an underwater earthquake

might have actually
triggered the collapse.

At this point, obviously
it's too early to tell,

but seismologists
have indeed confirmed

that there was activity
in that area.

It's obviously
a terrible tragedy.

What do you think the impact

of this accident
will have on the ecosystem?

Well, Tracey, I'm by
no means a biologist,

but I firmly believe
that there'll be little,

if any ecological footprint

as a result of this accident.

Given recent events, how can an
assessment like that be made this early?

Suffice it to say I have
it on very good authority.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is Tracey read

reporting from outside
treymar industries.

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ as bad as can be

♪ on the land and on the sea ♪

♪ super shark

♪ I know he's bad

Good morning,
cats and kittens.

This is dy-ynamite Stevens,

and we gonna
have the surf report

right after the news.

But first I want to tell you
about the big celebration.

It is gonna be sensational,

and yours truly,
dynamite Stevens, will be there.

We're going to have

a big queen of the beach
bikini contest,

brought to you by
the dockside bar and grill.

So, girls, we want
to see you out there.

That's right, ladies.

I want you to be there

or be bare.

Tyler.

Well, well. Look what
the tide brought in.

Hello, Greg.

It's been a while.

You look great.

You look the same.
Hi, Tyler.

Morning, cali.
Guys, it's summertime,

and when school lets out,

this beach is
gonna fill up fast.

When I say you need
to be here at 8:00,

you need to be here
at 7:45.

I'm sorry.
It won't happen again.

What's your excuse, Greg?

I, uh, just got
into town yesterday.

I think I was
a little jet-lagged.

All right, well, since you never
worked here in the summer,

you're in for a real treat.

I think I'm up for it.

Good. Greg, I see
that you're certified

and on the swim team.

You know, a lot of
problems can be avoided

if you just know
how to talk to people.

I understand that.

I get on well with people.

See that you do.
Um, I want you to take

the South beach past
those rocks over there.

There's a lot of surfers.

Current's strong.
Please be careful.

Understood.

Cali, you and I are
gonna take the, uh,

north beach over there
past the caves.

It's 8:25 right now.

Um, shift ends at 2:00.

Check back with me
before you, um, leave,

and turn in your walkies.
Everybody good to go?

Ready as I can be.

Me, too.

Let's go.

Greg is cute.

What school does he go to?

Sc.
How do you know?

He spent last summer here.

Ah. Is he and you...

No. No, we are
not an item.

Good.
Think he's my type.

Everybody's your type.

Yeah.

Jill, pick
up the horn, will you?

Jill.

Go ahead, Rick.
Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine.

I think we found a lobster.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Get the lobster basket
and drop it overboard.

Anything else?

Just look beautiful
when I come back.

I'm working on it.

See you soon.

Hey, I think I saw a
nurse shark up ahead.

Boy, I'd love to get
a shot of that.

Let me get up there and see
if he wants his picture taken.

Guess he's the shy type.

Maybe we can spot another.

Where there's one shark,

there's usually another.

What the hell was that?

I don't know. I didn't
get a good look at it.

Might have been a whale.
Maybe it's just curious.

Or hungry.

Jill, come in.

Rick, you're interfering
with my tan.

Something big just swam by us.

Do you see anything?

Nothing.
Are you almost done?

Yeah.
We're heading back.

Uh...

Rick.

Rick, there's something
wrong with the radio.

Uh, Rick.

Come on.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Rick.

Rick! Rick!
Can you hear me?!

Rick!

Rick, can you hear me?!

Rick! Rick,
there's a shark!

There's a shark!
There's...

Rick!

Skipper Chuck.

I saw your ad in the paper.

Sorry about that.

I was just daydreaming
about an angel.

Is this you?

That's me.

Welcome aboard.

Nice boat.

Only thing the wife left me.

So you live on board?

Like I said.

How much to hire the boat?

I like that in a woman.

You don't mess around.
You get right to the point.

How much?

I guess that depends
on where you're going.

I want to go here.

Isn't that...
That's right.

I want you to take me to where
the treymar oil platform went down.

Whoa, whoa.
Take that back.

That entire area's off limits.

I can't go there.

I'm Dr. Katherine
Carmichael,

oceanic investigation bureau.

This badge'll get us past
anyone who stands in our way.

Besides, I only want to go to
the edge of the quarantined area.

How much?

I don't know. 100 bucks
an hour. 3-hour minimum.

Wait.

Why me? Hmm?

Why didn't you just get the
coast guard to take you out there?

They've got enough problems.

Cash work for you?

Make yourself at home.

Thank you.

Hey, doc.

Pretty sure of yourself,
aren't you?

Money talks, skipper.

That's what's wrong
with the world.

Don't spare the gas.

Don't worry.
I got plenty of that.

So far, so easy.

Yeah, wait a week.
Change is coming.

Yeah. There will
be more boys

and more girls.

Who needs the competition?

Come on, cali.
What's sexier

than a beautiful lifeguard
in a styling red swimsuit?

Does make you
stand out in a crowd.

Yeah, people take notice.

It represents authority.

Guys like that.

You think Greg could go for me?

Why don't you ask him?

I could never.

I wouldn't know what to say.

How 'bout, "you want
to get with this?"

Shut up.

Besides, I saw the way
he looked at you.

Okay, yeah, we had
a thing last summer,

but it didn't work out.
I'm over him,

like so, so over him.

So just go for it.

Are you sure?

Look, it's your birthday
this weekend, right?

Let's just
start the party early.

We'll go down to the dockside,

have a few drinks tonight.

I'll invite Greg, and you guys
can get to know each other.

Would you? I mean,
that would be great.

Consider it done.

Can we get any closer?

Doc, we're already at the
edge of the quarantine area.

Badge or no badge,
this is as far as I go.

I'm not about to risk my
license or my boat for you.

I understand.

Besides...

There's nothing to see.

There isn't even an
oil slick or anything.

Yeah, that is kind of weird
there's no oil out here.

Just 'cause
you don't see anything

doesn't mean
there's nothing there.

We can go now.

Aye, aye.

This is very impressive.

Now what can I do for you?

I've already told the
authorities everything we know

about the nautilus rig failure.

We have our own internal
investigation ongoing,

and there are also other
agencies looking into it as well.

I know,

and now I've joined the party.

So what do you want from me?

We've been totally cooperative.

Everyone else seems satisfied
that we're doing everything we can,

and there was no major oil
spillage during the accident.

Oil isn't the only thing
that pollutes the water.

What's your point?

The waters where
the nautil went down

are loaded with chemicals.

Well, that's to be expected

when an accident
like this happens.

A lot of people lost their
lives in that accident.

Some of our very best men
were on that rig when it went down,

and some of those men
were very good friends of mine.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

Did you receive
any radio communication

from the rig as the accident
was actually happening?

Yes.

What did it say?

It was pure panic.

I'd like to hear the recording.

There is no recording.

It was a live transmission
to our land facility,

which was not recording
at the time.

Isn't that convenient?

So you're a, uh... you're a
marine biologist, correct?

That's right.

Deep-sea drilling
executive's natural enemy.

Don't get defensive.
I was just curious.

Now, listen. We're very, very
proud of our environmental record.

I would like to help you.
I really would.

I happen to love fish.

Broiled or pan-fried?

Sushi, actually.

Me, too.

Excuse me.

Yeah. This is wade.

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah.

Look, I-I'm sorry.

I have an important
conference call.

That's all right. I just
have a few more questions.

Hang on.

How about you have

an early dinner with me
tonight or a drink?

I can answer the rest of your
questions and maybe even

prove to you
that not every oilman

is a moustache-twirling villain.

Drinks. Early.

Then we'll talk about dinner.

It's right on the beach.

You can't miss it.

There's a beautiful view
from the balcony.

6 P.M.

You're on. 6 P.M.

All right.

Yeah. Wade here.

Quitting time.

There's Greg.

Cool your jets, Kelly.

You don't want
to appear too eager.

Hey. How was
your first day?

No complaints.

You in a rush
to get out of here?

Me? No.

Why? What were
you thinking?

Well, it's cali's
birthday on Saturday,

and we were thinking about
starting the celebration a little early.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, like later
this afternoon, 4:00,

down at the dockside.
You want to join us?

Yeah, sure.

Sounds like fun.

Thanks.

Yeah, well, uh, guess I'll
see you guys later then, huh?

Bye, Greg.

"Bye, Greg."

Knock it off, big shot.

Uh, I'm looking
for Dr. Miller.

You found him.

Oh. I'm, uh,
Dr. Carmichael.

What can I do for you, doctor?

Actually, I was hoping to speak

with one of your patients.

The survivor
of the oil rig accident.

You know, is this
absolutely necessary?

That guy's been through a lot.

Heh. I understand
your concern, doctor,

but I wouldn't be here if it
wasn't extremely important.

As the only survivor,

he might hold the key to what
actually happened that night.

Has he said anything?

No.

Paging Dr. sabin.

Dr. sabin, please.

Dr. Carmichael.

This is Mr. Jenkins.

Coffee?

Sure.

Thanks.

I wanted to ask you

what happened on the oil rig.

What kind of doctor
you say you were?

I'm a marine biologist.

I'm worried about
what the nautilus disaster

did to the ocean's ecosystem.

A fish doctor.

That's right.

Not one of those docs
that studies your mind,

makes people think you're crazy.

No. I'm not one of those.

I went out to the site,

and I didn't find
any oil in the water.

Do you know why that is?

'Cause we hadn't hit oil yet.

I mean, we were scheduled
to three weeks ago,

but we hit some kind of rock
we never dealt with before,

couldn't break through.

I did find a lot of unusual
chemicals in the water.

You know I can't
talk to you about that.

Really?

Why is that?

The company will have my head.

I'm not just a fish doctor.

I'm also an investigator
with the oib.

You can either
tell me what treymar

was putting in the water,

or we'll have your head
before your boss ever gets to it.

Well, like I said,

we hit some hard rock,

harder than anything
we ever hit.

That's when they started
pumping the stuff

down the shaft
to break up the rock.

What was in it?

I don't know.

They never used it
before last week.

They shipped it in
from the plant.

It was some powerful stuff.

Is that why
the platform collapsed?

I'll deny I told you
any of this,

but you being a fish
doctor and all, well,

maybe you'll believe me.

Something big came out the sea,

something real big.

It jumped up,

grabbed the crane...

And then pulled
the rig right over.

If I hadn't gotten
to that lifeboat,

well...

I got lucky.

Heh. What was it?

I've never said this...

But it was a shark.

A frigging giant shark.

Yeah, see, and the way
you're looking at me right now,

it's why I didn't tell those
head doctors anything.

I don't want to be
locked up in a loony bin.

You just went through a really
traumatic experience. I mean,

with all that was going on,

don't you think
you might have mistaken

some falling machinery
for something else?

You know what, doc?

I'm just fooling you.

Hey, there's no such
thing as a giant shark.

I was just telling what I
thought you wanted to hear,

you being a fish doctor and all.

I'm gonna go back to the
room and watch some TV.

This is USS Santa mira
to San Diego command

requesting satcom
weather conditions.

Copy, Santa mira.

Stand by to receive
satcom weather data.

10 degrees on the down bubble.

Aye. 10 degrees
down bubble.

Steady as she goes.

Mr. Stewart.

Aye, captain?

I understand that we're
almost fully automated here

and that you have
nothing better to do

than push a few buttons,

but do you think
you could play something

a little more inspiring?

You're putting
the crew to sleep.

Sorry, captain.

I guess I've still got
Honolulu on my mind.

I understand.
Now, if you don't mind...

Yes, sir. Stone-cold
inspiration coming right up.

Thank you.

Another deployment.

Another round of
drills, drills, more drills.

Don't start complaining,
or we'll find a nice spot

out in the persian Gulf for you.

Be careful what you wish for.

Yes, sir. It's just I'd like to
experience something new,

something exciting.

Well, we're having the chef's
surprise for dinner tonight.

Captain, I'm getting something.

Identify.

I can't.

It's ahead of us, same depth.

Underwater Mountain range?

Can't tell yet.

Well, we better
move it up just in case.

Two degrees on the up bubble.

Two degrees up bubble.

Make it five degrees up bubble.

Five degrees up bubble.

It's rising with us, captain.

Might be something organic,

some kind of drifting debris.

What the hell was that?

Did we hit something?

I don't know, captain.

Wrong answer, Carmichael.

Find out.

Aye, aye, sir.

Well?

It... I think it's some kind
of seismic disturbance,

a big one.

An earthquake?

Could be.

Captain, telemetry's coming in.

Undersea activity,
it's off the charts.

No kidding.

General quarters.
General quarters.

All hands,
man your battle stations.

Careful what you wish for.

Sound the collision alarm.

I have a contact.

What? Identify?

No corresponding signal.
No sound wave match.

Whatever it is, it's
headed straight toward us.

Is it a sub?

No, sir,

but it's almost
as big as we are.

Status?

Five seconds.

All hands, brace for impact.

Son of a...

Acquire torpedo lock.

It's moving too fast

and changing direction
every second.

I can't get a lock.

Do your best.

Flood torpedo tubes one and two.

Flooding torpedo tubes
one and two.

Well?
Got it.

Fire torpedoes one and two.

Firing torpedoes one and two.

Target dead ahead
and moving fast.

What the hell is it?

Whatever it is,
it's coming back.

Dear God.

Told you I had a nice view.

You weren't kidding.

Must have cost a pretty penny.

Ah, just one of the
dividends of hard work.

Sure.

Look, Ms. Carmichael...

Call me Kat.

Kat?

Really? Kat?

Fish.

Kat fish.

Funny,

but not original.

Why are you so hostile?

I mean, come on.
Do you actually think

that when I was a little kid,

I wanted to grow up
and be an oilman?

Okay, so what'd you want to be?

Cowboy.

But you have to admit
this pays a whole lot better.

Can I interest you
in a lobster cocktail?

Lobster?

Caught right out here
in the bay.

Oh. Uh,
I think I'll pass.

Oh, you're acting like you think

it might be poison or something.

It might be.

Let me show you something.

Nice kitchen.

Thanks.

This is a sample of water
I took this morning

from the site
where the rig went down.

You're not gonna drink that?

Heh. No way.

Do you know what this means?

I have no idea what this means.

Why don't you tell me?

It means there's
potassium feldspar

in the water where
the rig went down.

Okay.

Potassium feldspar is a mineral.

When mixed with acidic water,
it hydrolyzes

into kalinite plus quartz
plus potassium hydroxide.

Yeah. Look,
I'm just kind of a, uh,

front-office sort of a guy.

I'm not a scientist. What
are you talking about?

It's a formula that's used

to create a chemical
weathering agent,

something that breaks down
rock surfaces,

like those that form the
foundation of your oil platform.

I'm still not following you.

All right.

Let me see if I can put
this together for you. Please.

Your drill hit solid rock.

You can't break through,

so you pour a hydrolyzing
agent down the shaft.

To break through the rock,

but you used too much,

and it causes the foundation

of your platform to crumble.

Hang on.
D-don't go to...

The platform collapses
in a self-made earthquake,

dozens of people die,

and the poison's in the ocean.

And you're telling me

that you can tell all that
from one little test strip?

All that.

I think you're speculating.

And I think you're scared.

Goodbye.

Hang on a second.
I would never

intentionally do anything
to hurt that rig.

I had a lot of...

I know. You had
friends out there.

I feel sorry for them.

You better get
over here right away.

We need to talk.

Afc, this is
Sierra Romeo one niner.

Sierra Romeo one niner,

this is afc.
Go ahead.

Nothing to report, sir.

No sign of the Santa mira.

I don't get it.

A United States submarine
just doesn't disappear.

This one has.

How much longer can you
maintain your search?

30 minutes till bingo fuel.

All right.
Keep searching,

and report back in 30 minutes.

Roger that.

Hang on, sir.

I think I've got something.

Is it the Santa mira?

No, sir.

Well, what is it?

You're not gonna believe this.

Try me.

Easy on the mai tais, cali.

Last time I checked, you
weren't exactly a heavy hitter.

I'm just nervous.

You know how I get around boys.

Yeah.

I wonder where Greg is.

Oh, he'll be here.

He always did like
to make a late entrance.

Yo, Felix, how'd it sound?

I want to do a test-out
for the crowd.

100...
Oh, there he is.

99, 97,

9... wait.
I missed the 98.

98. Does it sound good?

Hey.

Looks like you guys
got started without me.

Ah, sometimes it's hard
to get a table here,

so we got here a little early.

Yeah, I always liked this place.

You girls hang out here a lot?

It's the only place
we can afford.

Well, you and I had
some good times here.

Do you spend all your
summers at the bay?

Yeah. My, uh, grandparents
are out of town,

so I'm watching their place.

The, uh, lifeguard gig
was just icing on the cake.

Lucky you.

Speaking of cake,

I, uh, got you a little
early birthday present.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

But thank you.

Do you like it?

I absolutely love it.

It's handmade.

I got it down
at the, uh, boardwalk.

So you, um, have the
whole house to yourself?

Yeah. Just, um...

Me and the dogs.

Hey, everybody.

I'm dy-y-ynamite Stevens,
ladies and gentlemen.

Whoo!

Aw, you must.

And I'm here
at the dockside bar & grill

and we are going
to be hosting, cats,

the queen of the beach
bikini contest today.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, man.

Whoo whoo!

Bring 'em up!

Yeah, you know what it's about!

I don't have to tell y'all.
Y'all know.

Ha ha ha! And we
got the grand prize,

which will be...

A free calendar shoot
on the beach

and a grand prize money winner

of $1,000.

Now let's find out

who the most finest girl
in this place is.

Let's bring that girl
up here right now.

Girls, come on up here.
Let's see what you got.

Shake it and make it, girl.

You got to shake me!

Shake and bake.

No chicken.
This is sirloin, baby.

That's what I'm talking 'bout.

Yeah, 'cause she's happening.

Whoo!

Oh, my goodness. Uhh.

Whoo!

Lady in red! Whah!

What else we got?

We got somebody... this girl.

Whoo. I don't know if my
heart can stand this anymore.

Baby, what y'all think?

Ah, show 'em your stuff,
girl. You roll.

Whoo hoo!

We loves everybody,

but somebody gotta go.

This one's beautiful,

but we can't have
too much beauty.

Thank you for coming.

And now let's see
what else we got.

I need another young lady
up here right now.

Now, this is serious.
I ain't playing around.

This is the big cham-pag-nee
right here.

This girl's... she's all right.
We likes her. What about...

I need me another twirl
up here right now.

Who's out here
wanting to come up?

Maybe they can take over
the contest.

I think they are
playing my song.

What are you talking about?

If I can win that cash prize,

my summer will be golden.

Crazy.

She's impulsive, all right.

Shy one minute.
Wild child the next.

Next we got up here...
Oh, come on, girl.

You gotta show a little
something-something, girl.

You gotta... yeah, baby.

A little skin wins the yin-Yang.

Yeah.

She's all that and
a bag of chips. Wow.

She looks pretty good up there.

You like her?

Yeah, she's nice, but, I, uh...

Like you more.

Baby, some hot and mustardy.

What do we still think
about this lady over here?

Yeah. She's all right.

And then... whoo!
Well, all right.

You want her to leave,
let's run it.

Thank you so much
for coming out tonight.

Now we gonna move
some over here.

I said thank you so much.

Who next coming in here?

Right now we need somebody
else to come up on this stage.

Holy chalupa!

Wow!

Whoo!

Yabbo hubba hubba!

Free tacos for everybody!

Whoo hoo!

That's too much for me, girl!

Roger, I don't understand
why you're so rattled.

I mean, you act as if
this were the first time

that any oil company was
ever suspected of wrongdoing.

It's a cost of doing business.

Yeah, but it's
not really suspected.

It's more like an accusation.

Of what?

Of using a chemical
weathering agent?

Of causing your own
platform to collapse?

Yes.

Nobody uses a chemical
weathering agent

for drilling purposes.

I did.

And whatever gave you an
idea to try something like that?

Oh, hell, I don't know.

One of the engineers
suggested it.

It didn't seem like it
was gonna hurt anything,

so I gave him the go-ahead.

And it worked?

Yeah, it worked great,

worked too well.

Well, that may be something
we're gonna have to look into

later on, but right now,

your job is to deny everything.

When caught cheating,
deny, deny, deny.

I know.
I read the handbook,

but... but she...
She knows.

Knows what?

I mean, you think that
this dog-and-pony show

with a glass of water and a slice
of lemon is gonna prove anything?

You worry too much.

Ah... I don't know.

She seemed
awfully sure of herself.

All right, look, Roger, if you're
that worried, think about it.

The best defense is
always a good offense.

Throw a little money around
and see if you can't dig up

something on
this Dr. Carmichael.

Maybe there's
a chink in her armor.

It's worth a try.

Ah, maybe you're right.

Finish her off
before she finishes us.

Cali.

How could you?

I'm sorry.
It just happened.

But you're my friend.

Cali, he wasn't into you.

He only came because
he wanted to be with me.

That's not true.

It is true.
I'm sorry, but it is.

You always get
everything you want.

You get the job you want,
the boy you want.

I didn't want Greg.
I was over him.

At least, I thought I was.

Like I said, it just happened.

Why can't I be more like you?

I wish I was dead.

All right, guys, these
girls are working hard for you.

Let us know what you want.
That's it.

This one over there.
There you go.

And how 'bout this one?
Jazzy wazzy.

And how 'bout this one? Wow.

Yeah. Let 'em know.
Thank you.

Let us see some stuff in here.

Yeah, guys. Let me know what
you think of these girls up here.

They're working hard. Whoo!

And this one right here.
Sirloin beef over here.

This is serious.
That's right.

And the lobster of the
tail, and this one here.

Oh, my goodness.

That's good. The... whoa!

Come on!
Yeah!

Want to hear it for...
That's it.

And how about for
this lady jazz over here?

And look at kylee. Whoo!

Get an eyeful?

Doc. What's up?

Hey, buy a guy a drink?

You've got plenty of cash.

You buy.
Bourbon, rocks.

What she said, Jake.
Bourbon, rocks.

You got it.

What's going on?
You busy?

Made a few house calls.

Somebody sick?

They're gonna be.

Lookity here.

That's what I'm
talking about. Hey, there.

You see, captain?
Whoa.

♪ your eyes...

See you tomorrow morning?

Tomorrow morning?
What for?

We're going fishing.

Uh, okay.

W-Where are you staying tonight?

I live in my car.

Give me a double, Jake.

Now it's my turn.

Let me jump up in here.

Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,

kits and cats
and cats and kadoodles,

we have already
tallied up the votes,

and all these ladies
are beautiful.

Let's have a hand for everybody
that was on the show tonight.

Bring 'em all out here.
They're beautiful.

Bring 'em all up here.

And keep those hands a-flappin'

as I announce the winner.

Jazzy!

She's all right.

Whoo! Aw, man!

I want to be in a symphony
with jazz, baby.

Whoo hoo!

But everybody's good.

That's what I was talking about.

Where is everybody?

This is interesting.

This is very, very interesting.

Good job.

You did a great job here.

Yeah. You know,
for a minute there,

she almost had me.

Tell you what I want you to do.

I want you to go to the bank,

and I want you to
cash this check for me.

Bring all that money right
back here to my office.

Big bills are fine.

Actually, big bills are better,

more impressive.

Now scoot.

Oh, if only I had
a moustache to twirl.

They never learn.

First the air
and then the water.

Doc.

Got my fish finder
plugged in to your laptop.

Want to come take a look?

Good work, Chuck.

You'd make someone a
great assistant someday.

You know, I was thinking
exactly the same thing about you.

After you.

You sure this is up and running?

Positive.

There's nothing on the scope.

Yeah?

Here.
Watch your hand.

There's not a single fish,

no living thing.

It's impossible.

Now, I have never seen
anything like that before.

I can radio one of my buddies

and see if they got anything.

That's a good idea.
Do it.

Sea spray, sea spray,

this is blue moon.
Over.

Sea spray, you out there, buddy?

This is sea spray.
What's up, skipper?

Yeah, Phil, I think my fish
finder might be on the blink.

You guys got
anything over there?

Not a thing,

like all the fish
are on vacation.

Same here. Stand by.

Chuck, I-I've got something.

Look at the size of that
thing. Is that a whale?

No. It's not.

And it's circling the boat.

Hey, Phil, you see
what I'm seeing?

Phil?

Phil, are you out there?

Chuck, come quick!

Ah, that radio's going haywire.

W-What is...

Kill the radio.
What?

Do it.
Why?

Kill the radio!
Okay!

Go!

I am!

That thing was a monster.

That was the biggest damn
shark I've ever seen in my life.

You sure that was even a shark?

Yeah. It was a shark.

Where you think it's gone?

I don't know.

I... but I think it was
attracted to the radio waves,

and in return, it was emitting
its own plasmonic signal that...

That caused the radio
to go crazy.

Whoa, whoa.
Plas-whatsit?

Plasmonics.
Certain fish are capable

of sending out their own
hydronic radio waves

as a means of communication.

I mean, this guy lost interest in
us when we stopped broadcasting.

So what do you want to do now?

Let's get out of here.

I hate sharks.

Mermaids and mermen,

this is dy-y-y-namite Stevens,

booting out 50,000 watts on k80,

the powerfulest
radio station in America.

I just want to take
a brief timeout

to give a shout-out to our
queen of the beach winner

and the runner up, who are
currently on the beach

shooting their sexy,
sexy photo shoot.

And, women, remember this.

Tan lines are for quitters.

Dy-y-y-nomite.

Okay, we got, uh, sun.

We got sand.
We got hot babes.

Let's shoot some film.

How's this?

That is beautiful.

Just like that.

Just, uh...

Different and better.

Like this?

Nice. Very nice.

♪ it would be funny

♪ for you to hurt me

♪ don't do nothin' stupid
with my love ♪

♪ whoa, oh, oh

♪ don't do nothin' stupid
with my love ♪

♪ baby, baby, don't you dare ♪

♪ don't you do it

♪ now, don't you go around

♪ saying things

♪ saying things

♪ you don't want
catching up to you ♪

♪ ooh

♪ 'cause I know some birdies ♪

♪ that love to sing

♪ and no one wants to

♪ no one wants to

♪ find out what I'll do

♪ don't do nothin'...

All right, uh,
Jessica, I need you

to move in just a little bit.
Jazzy.

Yeah, I don't care
what your name is, babe.

Just move in.

All right, get a little bit
closer to Tammy there.

I love it.
Get a little closer.

Okay, are we doing it right?

You're definitely
doing it right.

A little bit closer.

Put your faces together.

Just like that.

And lean in and give her
a nice, wet kiss.

What?
I don't think so.

Oh, come on.
Get real.

All right.
Well, I tried.

Okay, uh, let's turn around

and get a little sand
in the background.

♪ Once love goes, it's gone ♪

♪ don't you let me go

Girls, how hard is it to
stand there and look pretty?

What is that?

Girls, come on.

It's a shark.

I don't care what it is.

Let's just get out of here.

Contrary to popular belief,

sharks can't come on land,

so as long as we
stay out of the water,

we're gonna be just fine.

Nothing to worry about.

Say cheese.

I didn't expect to see
you back quite so soon.

I'm glad you came by.

Guess we still have a
few things left to discuss.

We do.
Why don't I go first?

There might
actually be something

to what you say about the rig

using a hydrolyzing
agent in the shaft.

Maybe we did go too far.

Now, I'm not saying I
know who was behind it,

but when I find out,
I promise you

there will be consequences.

Of that, I'm sure.

Yeah.

Little something else I learned.

You're not actually
an oib agent at all.

Not even close.

In fact, they kicked you
out over 6 months ago.

I took an extended
leave of absence.

Not what it says here.

I don't care what it says there.

Really?

Now let's see.
It says here

that you had a kid
brother who was killed

in the exvil oil tanker
collision 2 years ago off Alaska.

It says that ever since then,

you've been harassing
oil companies,

and it appears you're on some
kind of a personal vendetta.

Should I go on?

Why not?

Great.

It says that you made a
string of reckless accusations

that placed the oceanic
investigation bureau

in a very embarrassing position

that subsequently led
to your termination.

They weren't reckless.

Well, I'm sorry,

but impersonating
a government agent

in order to harass
and intimidate a civilian

can wind you up in jail.

I'd have a lot of company.

Look, Kat fish,

I like you.

We don't need
any trouble between us.

I don't believe
the hydrolyzing agent

caused the rig to collapse.

I think it was an earthquake,

just like they said.
I truly believe that.

What's that?

It's money.

Look, I want you
to take this money

out into the world and
do some good with it.

Okay? I want you
to go to Alaska.

I want you to go to Japan.

I want you to go
anywhere you want

and weave your magic on some
other environmental bad guy,

'cause believe me, I'm not
the one you're looking for.

I wish I could believe you,

but you'd lie about
what you had for breakfast.

Not unless it was
an endangered species.

Come on.

I did not destroy my own rig.

I believe you there.

The chemical weathering agent

did cause the earthquake,

and it did poison the water,

but it didn't
destroy the platform.

That's what I came
here to tell you. What?

Your rig was destroyed
by a giant shark.

Not one of your oil buddies,

but a real giant shark.

Thanks for the money.

That's one big-ass shark.

Knee-deep in happy hour?

Did you know what
that bastard called me?

What?

Kat fish.

Kat fish.

The nerve.

Well, Kat fish,

let's see you and me swim
over to a table, okay?

Jake, you have any coffee?

Got some fresh.

Thanks, buddy.
Come on. Up, up.

You bet.

There you go.
Slide in.

Scooch around.
Scooch. Scooch.

There you go.

You good?

I'm a fake.

A fake?

I'm not really an agent
for the oib.

I used to be one,

but they fired me.

Now I just pretend to be one.

Is that so?

I got a little excited

and ruffled some feathers.

Thank you, Jake.

No trouble.

Watch yourself.

Hey, don't leave this.

All right.
Thanks very much.

Watch yourself.
There's your bag.

See this young man?

Mm-hmm.

It's my brother Jimmy.

He's dead now.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

What happened?
Was it an accident?

He was on the exvil
oil tanker when it went down.

Yeah, that was terrible.

Yeah.

Some might have survived,

except for the sharks.

They said there were
sharks everywhere.

Which explains
why a marine biologist

doesn't like sharks.

They're just like
oil companies...

Mindless eating machines.

And I made a vow to myself

that I would ruin everyone
responsible for Jimmy's death.

Somewhere along the way,

the lines got blurred

just to what I could and
couldn't get away with.

So they got rid of me.

But you're still fighting 'em.

I don't have anything to lose.

Except my dinner.

Unsubstantiated accounts
are beginning to filter

into the newsroom from
surrounding beach communities.

They're reporting
a new kind of shark,

one that can walk around
on dry land.

Oh, and one more thing,
it's as big as a whale.

Apparently
the new city ordinance

that prohibits drinking
on public beaches

isn't having quite the impact
local officials had hoped for.

This in spite of predictions

that the upcoming
fourth of July celebration

is going to be one of the largest
turnouts in the beach's history.

I don't care how many
feathers you ruffle along the way.

You keep those troops deployed
on every beach that I specified.

No one makes a move
except on my orders.

No. No, I don't know if this
is the real deal or not,

but until I find out otherwise,

we're gonna play this safe.

Colonel Caldwell.

Captain Marshall,
anything to report?

One of the airborne
units captured this photo.

So it is a shark.
Yes, sir,

a giant shark.

All right. Let's go.

Captain Brody.

Status?

Standing by.

Good. Captain Brody,

let's get some planes
in the air.

Copy that.

Base, this is Charlie tango one

taxiing to runway 17,

ready for takeoff.

Roger that, Charlie tango one.

You're cleared for takeoff.

You're assigned
flight pattern delta.

The remainder of your squadron

will cover the rest
of your grid.

You're ready to drop your payload
as soon as you get the word.

Roger that, base.
We'll be ready.

You heard him, boys.

Stick to your assigned quadrant,

and be ready.

This thing's a killer.

Roger that, skipper.

Let's keep our fingers crossed

and hope we get lucky.

If it's still out there,
they'll find it.

They say it came out of the
water and walked on its fins.

It ate the queen of the beach.

Good morning.

What happened?

Well, you got dead drunk,

and you passed out.

Where are my clothes?

Well, you threw up all
over yourself, so I, uh...

Loaned you some of my stuff.

Uh...

We didn't...

No. No, we didn't.

Heh.

Didn't mean to be insulting.
I just...

Fair enough.

And you...
You weren't kidding

about sleeping in your car.

I never kid.

Do you have my briefcase?

Yeah. It's right there
above your head.

Heh.

That's a lot of money.

You peeked.

I peeked.

Couldn't help it.

Yeah.

It's a bribe
from treymar industries

to get me to go away.

Ah, I figured
I was leaving anyways,

so I took it.

Well, that is a very
interesting ethical outlook.

Takes a lot of money
to hassle the oil companies.

I figured they could help
finance the crusade.

Oh, I, uh, washed your clothes.

Folded, too.

You're a pretty handy guy.

You'd be surprised.

We need to tell someone
about the shark.

You know,
everybody already knows.

It's all over the radio.

The army national guard
has moved onto

the surrounding beaches,
and the public is being warned

to stay clear, as a state of
emergency has been decla...

Please, let's keep
the radio off.

It's the one thing
they don't know about,

the radio.

Do you have my car?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's up
in the parking lot.

Heh. Man, you're good.

I've been told.

Sergeant Wilkins here.

This is captain Jackson.

Status?

All quiet, sir.
Nothing to report.

All right. Hold your
positions till further notice.

Yes, sir.
Wilkins out.

How'd you two get
past the roadblock?

Dr. Katherine
Carmichael,

oceanic investigation bureau.

I have some
important information

you're gonna need to know
if you want to kill this thing.

Okay. What do you got?

Have you spotted the shark?

Not yet, but it seems
to like this beach.

We just don't know why.

I can tell you.

That right there,
the radio tower.

That's what brings it here.

Radio tower?

It either loves it or hates it.

I'm not sure which,

but it responds to radio waves.

That's crazy.

We've taken over
the station temporarily

for the emergency
broadcasting system.

The transmitter just went
back on the air five minutes ago.

That should be like
ringing the dinner bell.

What are we gonna do
if that thing comes back?

Pray.

Relax, roth.
We can handle this.

Morris, this is
sergeant Wilkins.

You see anything?

All quiet here.

Not a fin or a flipper in sight.

All right.
Stay alert.

Hey, sarge,

do you think
that thing can really

walk around out of water
like they say he can?

I'd like to see it try.

Whuhh!

Fall back.

Go! Go! Go!

We need all our guys!

Hurry up!
Let's go!

It's here right now
at cabo beach.

Reroute the air strike.
Bring it in now.

Roger that.

Do it.

Copy that.

Proceeding to strike zone.

Come on, guys!

Light it up!

Yeah! Fry his ass!

All right.

Way to go.

You need to contact
the radio station,

tell them to stop broadcasting.

This is captain Jackson.

Tell the men at the station

to shut down that
transmitter immediately.

That's right.
Cut it now.

This is Charlie tango one.

I am approaching strike zone.

Request instructions.

Permission to release ordnance
granted, Charlie tango one.

Roger that.

Blow his ass up!

Let's throw another shark
on the Barbie.

What the...

It flies.

That's bad.

I need a drink.

Let's get to it, gentlemen.

Gathered here
are members of staff,

government intelligence.

Let's get right to it, captain.

This is Dr. Carmichael.

She's an expert
in marine biology.

She's already
encountered this creature

once on her own and
lived to tell about it.

Her input could be crucial

in devising our plan of attack.

This is my assistant Chuck.

Cheers.

Sharkskin, by its very nature,

is tough and resilient.

And in the case of this
particular specimen,

it's almost
armor-plated, bulletproof.

Conventional weapons
have very little effect on it,

except it did respond to being
torched by the flamethrower.

Yeah.

How is that we've
never seen anything

like this creature before?

It has to be a prehistoric shark

that's been extinct
for millions of years,

or so we thought.

Perhaps a variety of megalodon.

I suspect it's been in some
kind of suspended animation.

So it's been what, hibernating?

In a manner of speaking.

Maybe the drill
from the treymar oil rig

broke through the rock into
some kind of underwater chamber

where the shark was
preserved, but dormant.

It had a chance to
take us out yesterday,

and it swam away instead.

I have to believe it's
because of the radio waves.

So you think it has something
to do with radio sound waves?

I do believe that it responds
to radio transmissions,

and as the shark approaches,

it emits its own
plasmonic signal.

And what's a plasmonic signal?

It's a radio signal
that some fish use

to communicate with others.

In this case, it's a signal
our shark sends out

that interferes with
other radio signals.

It makes the radio
go haywire, okay?

It could serve
as an advance warning,

alerting us to an attack
before it happens.

Exactly.

Now what about
these reports that it...

Walks and flies?

Senator, there are at least
four known species of fish

that can walk using
their pectoral fins,

and there are several
varieties of flying fish.

What we're seeing here
is adaptive evolution,

but on a much grander scale.

Bullets bounce off it,

it walks around on its fins,
and it flies. Really?

It's super shark.

Well, I think we might just have

a little something that'll bring
super shark down to earth in a hurry.

What is it?

Sorry. That's classified
for the moment.

You'll all get
to see it at the beach

first thing in the morning.

Well, it had better work.

That beach has to be open

by the time school
gets out this weekend.

The local economy depends on it.

Now the clock is
ticking here, people.

Dismissed.

I don't think captain Jackson

has anything up his
sleeve that can kill this thing,

not on the outside.

I don't know.
He seemed pretty confident.

Custer was confident.

I don't think they have
any idea what they're facing.

So, what?
What do you suggest?

We attack it from the inside.

You mean like, uh, poison?

Poison or an explosive device.

You mess up anything
on the inside, and it'll die,

no matter how big it is.

Okay, look, I would just hate to see
something happen to you. That's all.

♪ don't you,
baby, don't you see? ♪

♪ This is why...

I wouldn't want anything
bad to happen to you either.

You stick with me, and
I'll make it worth your while.

I'm rich now.

And single.

That does sound pretty tempting.

♪ ...About a thing

♪ our love is like the sea

I'm not worried
about the unit, Carter,

and I think you're
a great pilot.

You're gonna do fine.

I want you to wait till
the shark comes to you.

Then give it everything
you got, all right, son?

With pleasure, sir.

Push it.

Ah. Ohh.

There you go. Whoa.

Okay, careful.
Push. Push.

All right, good luck, Carter.

Thank you, sir.

Okay, care... careful.
Careful.

I promised Jake
I'd get this back

to the dockside bar
in one piece.

So you lied.

Unh. Not yet.

Ohh. Okay.
That's it.

Morning, captain.

What's this all about?

Well, remember what I said
yesterday about using the radio

to better predict
the attack? Yes.

This is it.

You get the radio station
to start broadcasting,

and we listen to it
through these speakers.

That way, we'll know
the shark's coming.

Hope it works.

Hey, captain,
what is that thing?

That's a special prototype tank

designed to fight in the
mountainous regions of Afghanistan.

It can literally walk
across a hostile desert

like an armor-plated camel.

A walking tank?

Walking tank
for a walking shark.

Brilliant.

Captain Jackson,
come in.

Jackson.

Megatank is ready
for deployment, sir.

Have it take up a position

halfway between
the lot and the water.

Then stand by
for further orders.

Yes, sir.

This, I gotta see.

Would you look at that?

It's
equipped with heavy artillery.

Hate to use it
in a civilian area.

One stray shot...

Ah, we'll just
have to be careful.

I'm sure the neighbors
appreciate that, captain.

Kat, let's move this thing.

You ready?
Yo.

Watch your step.

Want to get that radio
station broadcasting.

Is that thing almost ready?

Almost, captain.

Give me five more minutes.

Then have that station start pumping
out some old-time rock-and-roll.

Well, we got dynamite
Stevens at the station.

He can start broadcasting
whenever we want.

Dy-y-ynamite Stevens?

Ah, that'll really make him mad.

He has that effect on me.

Captain, do you have an
explosive device we can attach?

The shark gets close
enough to swallow it,

we might get lucky and give him

one hell of a bellyache.

We've got some c-4
and a remote detonator.

I'll have one of my munitions
men set it up for you.

Thank you.

Something better work.

Hey, super shark,

it's your old friend
dy-y-y-ynamite Stevens

with a handful of requests,

brought to you by Uncle Sam.

So this is for all
the soldier boys on the beach.

I hope this ro-ocks your world.

♪ you better
believe it ♪

♪ so tired, late tonight

♪ the vision to see...

Come on, super shark.
Where are you?

This has gotta work.

Maybe he's gun-shy

from getting
his ass burned yesterday.

Maybe he had his feelings hurt.

That is impossible.

Here he is!

Hurry up, captain!

Carter, heads up.

Target spotted dead
ahead and closing fast.

Roger that.

Engage the enemy.

Push him towards the c-4.

Maybe we can blow him up.

Carter, try to push it
toward the speakers.

We got a c-4 charge set there.

I'm trying, captain,
but it's not cooperating.

Be ready
with that thing.

Carter, keep it in front of you.

If that thing gets any
leverage from the side,

it might be able
to flip you over.

Like I said, captain,
I'm trying.

This isn't working.
I told you that thing's

tougher on the outside
than any of us thought.

Faster, too.

All we need's one good shot,

maybe the eyes.

Carter, go for the eyes.

If we can blind it, I
think we can take it out.

All right. I'm gonna try
to swing around to the left,

line up a clean shot.

Motor's frozen.

Something's overheating.

I'm gonna have to abort.

Gaah!

Damn it.

Fall back!

We gotta regroup.

All right, Kat, get in the
truck. Get in the truck!

Keep the motor running!

Kat!

Get in the truck! Kat!

Over here, big boy!

Come here!

Over here!

Aah!

Come on! Get up! Get up!

Keep going to the cave!
I'll draw him off!

No!
Go! Just go!

Okay, super shark.

Over here, big boy!

Come on!

Music from the doctor,
dynamite man.

Get over here!

♪ you're sitting there

♪ snorting all your blow

♪ how far
are you gonna go? ♪

♪ Just one thing
I want you to know ♪

♪ I'm gonna push you
out the back door ♪

♪ you push me

♪ and push comes to death

♪ You push me

♪ and you'll take
your last breath ♪

♪ you push me...

Open up for mommy.

♪ Push comes to death

And this
one last ripping classic

guaranteed to blow your mind.

Now you're extinct.

Dy-y-ynomite.

Kat! Kat!

You did it!

Huh?!

I said,
"you did it!"

Wha... I can't hear
a word you're saying.

It's the blast!
You were too close!

I feel like I just went to the
loudest rock concert of my life.

It's okay! It'll wear off in a
couple days. You'll be great.

I can't make out
a word you're saying.

I said you're one hell
of a catch, Kat fish.

What'd you say?

I'll tell you later.
Come on.

Come on.

There has been
much speculation in the community

regarding the future
of treymar oil

and its offshore
drilling operations

along the California coast.

The oib recently hit treymar
with a stiff $500,000 fine

for using illegal chemicals

just prior
to the catastrophic failure

of their offshore
oil platform nautilus.

I'm standing here with Roger
wade, director of operations.

Mr. wade, what is
the future of treymar oil?

Well, we, uh, all learn
from our mistakes,

and, uh, treymar
is ready and able

to step up to the plate
and begin the job

of creating a new and
independent source of energy.

We will rebuild the
platform that was destroyed,

and we're gonna
start reconstruction

as soon as humanly possible.

This time, we're gonna explore
new regions even deeper than before,

and I am certain
that we will uncover

even bigger and better
sources of energy.

Who knows what we might find?

It's like Sarah always said.

"Drill, baby, drill."

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ as bad as can be

♪ on the land and on the sea ♪

♪ super shark

♪ I know he's bad

♪ super shark

♪ bon appétit, man ♪

♪ watch out

♪ super shark

♪ he can jump, he can fly

♪ he can almost touch the sky

♪ super shark

♪ a whale of a killer

♪ he makes jaws
look like flipper ♪

♪ super shark

♪ he's super shark

♪ huhh

♪ watch out

♪ super shark

♪ watch out

♪ watch out, watch out

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ super shark

♪ I know he's bad

♪ huhh