Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat (1989) - full transcript

Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sun cream to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

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Gwendolyn, stop terrorizing your sister.

Dad, we were just playing.

Playing? Look at poor Julia.

She won't even sleep with the lights out.

Darling, stop being such a tyrant.

They're just having a little childhood fun.

Yeah, Dad. Childhood fun.

Anyhow, it's not me

who has horror pictures all over my room.

Is it?

Gwen is right.



It's just a passing phase.

Barbie and hula hoops are a passing phase.

And what makes it worse
is that you encourage this.

Well, I...

She didn't buy these things herself.

No. But lately, when we go shopping,

it's all she seems to want.

Well, maybe this trip to Purgatory
will do her some good.

She'll meet some nice, average,

everyday, normal people.

I got a dollar says that's him.

Yeah.

If that's the guy that's gonna
save Purgatory, we're in big trouble.

Hey!



You pensioners work here?

Full serve.

That's one of your dumber ideas, Merle.

Self-serve, that's the way.

Whoever he is,
one of us best take care of him.

Well, I went out yesterday.

And me the day before.

Well, damn it.

Let me go get some sunblock.

Be right with ya, young fella!

Young dipshit.

About time.

I was beginning to think you guys had died.

Hey! Where the fuck you goin'?

You guys gonna sell me some gas or what?

Sometimes I miss the old days.

It's hardest on Mort, of course.

That temper of his.

What is the big deal?

Get the lead out of your ass
and sell me some gas!

Boy, I hope that isn't him.

I'm not so sure Mort is the right one
to wait on this guy.

Might work out.

Might put us in deep shit with Mardulak.

How much you want, son?

You can fill it up, Gramps.

I've been waiting half my life

for you fossils to figure it out.

Everything moves a little slower

at my age, young fella.

Now you just...

Just relax,

and I'll get your gas for you.

Mort's doing okay, eh?

Can't last.

Hey, Gramps.

What's with the sun bonnet?

You can't take the sun?

Now ain't that something!

Old fart can't take the sun
and he lives in the damn desert!

Your name wouldn't be
David Harrison, would it?

Tom Pryor.

The name on the road to fame.

Ain't that a shame.

Looks like Mort struck oil.

Now look what you've gone and done!

I'm sorry, but he got me pissed!

That's gonna put our butts in the sun.

I better go down to the plant
and tell Jefferson.

You two hide the body.

Anybody sees it, we're spiked for sure.

I don't believe this.

- What?
- They've knocked his...

- Oh, no.
- Give 'em here!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

They... No. No.

False alarm!

Never mind, folks! False alarm!

Forget it. Never mind.

False alarm, Otto!

You folks, never mind.

Never mind, Sandy.

Never mind.

Let's turn it up!

I hope this works, Pierre.

Are you sure?

Yes! Yes! Up!

Here it goes.

So, what now?

Relax, boys.

Dave Harrison's on his way.

Sarah, I really do appreciate

you taking time off your studies.

Mardulak paid me a hell
of a lot for that patent.

The least I can do is make sure
it works for the guy.

We're family. One goes, we all go.

- Right?
- Right.

You know, David, there is one thing

I really do dread about
these next two weeks, though.

Meeting that bastard Shane again.

Hey.

You were the one who dated him.

Well, we didn't exactly date.

Oh, I know. You two were
the legend of Twain Hall.

You know, the last time I saw him,

he swore that he would get you back,
no matter what it took.

- That was the day that...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The day he beat the shit out of me.
But at least I got the first punch in.

Yeah. You weren't in the hospital very long.

Where is this place?

I don't know.

Around this corner, I think.

You sure we can't take
this up with Mardulak?

No!

He told me himself.

Disciplinary problems go to Mr. Jefferson.

You said you had a disciplinary problem.

You go to Mr. Jefferson.

Lucky me.

Yes?

Mr. Jefferson will see you now.

So?

Well, the good news is
it wasn't Dave Harrison.

From the beginning, Merle.

From the beginning.

I can't believe this.

I just can't believe this.

No one is gonna believe us!
I wouldn't believe us!

Who is gonna believe that
some relic with a sombrero

knocked off Tom's head with a backhand?

We know that they hid
Tom's jeep in the garage.

With his headless body!

Yeah.

And that's gotta be enough

to get a cop to believe
that something happened.

Shit, Jack.

What kind of monsters are these?

This stuff is worse than a chorizo, man.

Pigs, pigs, pigs!

I have come to retire among swine.

How can you drink that stuff cold, James?

It's not even the right color.

What's the color got to do with it?

It tastes real.

A typically English comment.

If this Dave Harrison
can't step up production,

then it won't matter, anyhow.

It will be back to the old ways
for all of us.

Yeah.

That would be a damn shame.

This the road to Purgatory?

Would you be David Harrison?

Yes.

That way.

- Thank you!
- Thank you!

Bye! Bye!

We must hide the body... and the car.

We thought of that.

Mort and Milt are taking care
of that right now.

A pity that foresight
is so infrequently available

to the Bisby brothers.

What about Mort?

As this act is that of simple murder,
not a reversion,

Mardulak may look more kindly upon it.

In the meantime, I'm gonna have
the sheriff take Mort to jail.

To jail?

What jail can hold him?

It won't be the bars that will restrain

your hot-headed brother.

It'll be the fear for his life.

Do I make myself clear?

As clear as a spring in Maine.

Thank you.

You may go.

You must be the Harrisons.

Did we leave our name tags on?

No need for name tags
in a town this size, man.

Everybody knows this is the day
that David Harrison arrives.

You're famous, man. A celebrity.

A big fish in a dry pond.

This is my wife, Sarah,

and my daughters, Gwendolyn and...

- Juliet.
- Juliet.

I'm Quinton Canada,

the only policeman in Purgatory.

Easiest job in town, man.

No drunks, no tourists, no crime.

- Nice to meet you.
- A pleasure to have met you.

Thank you.

Nice guy.

But what's with the hats?

My darling.

Anna? It's them, the Harrisons, ja?

Everybody knows us?

Celebrities, man.

Anna and Otto Trotsberg,

shopkeepers at your service.

Mardulak told us you come today.

We should treat you good.

Regular VIPs.

But we don't know their kinderl

Come, liebchin.

Come see Auntie Anna.

And what is your name, child?

Juliet Harrison.

And that's my sister, Gwendolyn.

Juliet and Gwendolyn.

Do you hear that, Otto?

Such names!

Your parents must be very romantic.

They're very horny.

Gwen!

To be young and alive, eh, Otto?

And you have such beautiful children.

You see, Anna and I outlived our children.

There's no greater sadness than...

Shush, Otto.

That was a long time ago.

How can we help you?

We could use some supplies.

- How about spaghetti tonight, kids?
- Yay!

Sounds good. Do you want
to help me find the tomato sauce?

- Come on, girls.
- Help yourselves.

We could also use some directions.

We're staying up at the Reilly Mansions.

Oh. The old copper barons' homes.

Ja. It's just down the road,
across the bridge.

Copper barons?

You know, for years,
this little town was booming!

A lot of jobs. Lot of money.

The copper market collapses
and so does Purgatory.

Everybody leaves.

It's a town for ghosts.

And then, Jozek Mardulak,

he bought the whole town.

Lock, stock, and barrel.

- Now it's a town for...
- Otto.

Blood-makers, Anna.

Blood-makers.

Thanks to you, Dave Harrison.

Well, don't thank me yet.

There are a lot of needy people in this world
that could use that blood substitute.

And if I get the production going faster,

then you'll have that boom town again.

Excuse me. Do you have any garlic?

Garlic?

Where?

Do we have any?

Garlic? No.

No! Never!

Was it something I said?

I don't... Well, they were friendly.

- Neat store!
- Did you get directions to the house?

Yeah. It's a breeze.

It's up there, past the bridge.

Okay, you can go with the groceries.

Two more. Those damn Bisbys.

I didn't hear any alarm.

This time, we're closed.

I'll phone the cafe and tell Sandy.

- It's late.
- I'm cold.

There's gotta be a police station
around here somewhere.

That's it!

I can't bear to look
at that hamburger another minute!

Food. Shit. How'd I ever eat it?

Oh, you poor mofos!

All you gotta do is look at it.

I gotta cook it!

Hello?

Well, thanks.

Bye, Anna.

More people are coming into town.

Let's keep up appearances.

Bailey, sit back down.

We can't fool everyone forever.

Mardulak's gotta know that.

They look so...

so hungry.

Hey! Hey!

It's him! They caught him!

We saw it all, Officer!

This guy killed our friend!

That so, Mort?

You killed their friend?

I'm afraid so, Mr. Quinton.

I lost my head.

Hey, he's not in handcuffs.

Hey, man, what's going on?

Why isn't he in handcuffs?

That wouldn't do any good, man.

No good at all.

Okay. Got to lock you away.

Can't have a threat
to the population like yourself,

walkin' around the neighborhood.

So, you saw Mr. Bisby's temper tantrum, eh?

Temper tantrum?

Yeah, Mort's always had a short fuse.

- Short fuse?
- He murdered our friend!

He was an asshole!

Who else knows you've come to Purgatory?

What kind of question is that?

You haven't even asked what I saw yet!

I know exactly what you saw.

You do?

Well, good.

Good. Then we can go ahead
and leave town, right?

We can just go.

Not exactly.

The hell we can't.

We're gettin' out of here.

In the cell, please.

We haven't done anything!

Now don't make me use force.

- Okay.
- All right, who wants to be strong

- and carry the groceries?
- Me! Me! Me!

Not too bad for a two-week vacation.

- I wonder who got the big one?
- Yeah, I wonder.

- But ours isn't too bad.
- I wanna carry the bicycle.

Okay. Come on.

Okay. How about I take the heavy stuff?

- Good idea.
- All right.

Oh, gosh.

Well, it looks somewhat livable.

- Yeah, if you're a spider.
- Wow, Mommy, spider webs!

Damn it!

We strike tomorrow.

Everything is ready.

I hear the Harrisons have arrived.

I timed it perfectly.

Just don't let your lust
interfere with my plan.

It won't. I've waited this long.

I can wait one more night.

Where do you think you're going?

Just to pay a visit.

Naked?

All right, girls. Time to go to bed now.

No! Mom! Mom!

- Mom!
- Mom!

Good night, girls.

Now I don't want to hear another sound.

Coming to bed?

You remember.

Four legs, springy mattress.

Oh, yeah.

Big day tomorrow.

Yeah? Well, it could be
your big night, tonight.

Mansion, candle light,

Wuthering Heights all over again.

I'll be up as soon as I'm finished.

You promise?

Threat.

Oh, David.

You don't know what you're missing.

David! David!

Mommy!

Okay, okay. Okay!

Come on. It's okay.

It's all right. It's all right.

Honey, I'm finished.

It's okay. I don't know.

It was a bird or something.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Have the girls been fighting again?

This hick town sucks!

There's one hip club in town

and there's, like, this line!

Let's blow.

Let's go back to L.A.!

Right. Where your old man'll kill ya,

and mine will put me in a convent.

These people are gross.

That local geek Jeff's having
a party at his parents' house.

Supposed to have real ludes.

714s!

Dude.

Hey, you know what's supposed
to be fun on ludes, Chaz?

Laser tag.

Whoa. Pervert alert.

I didn't come here to harm you...

or your girl.

I came here to give you shelter.

A future. Succor.

Sucker?

I don't know, man.

Look at me.

Look into my eyes.

You'll never have to use that knife again.

Come with me and live forever.

Young forever.

Strong as the night.

Strong as eternity.

Stronger than death.

I promised you strength and more.

All you must do is fight, one night, for me.

One night, and eternity is yours.

Yeah, no... no problem.

Hey, can we still screw?

Mister, speaking of forever,
what can kill us, anyway?

- The sun?
- No longer.

Sunscreens have changed things.

Daylight is merely uncomfortable for us,
if we are protected.

What if you're not?

You fry like fat on a griddle.

- What else?
- Precious little.

A beheading,
a wooden stake through the heart.

What about a steamroller?

What about crosses?

I wouldn't recommend the church.

Come. See my army that I've been gathering

from across the territory.

Meet our newest acquisitions.

Say hello to Chaz...

and Burgundy.

Tomorrow night, my friends.

We attack Purgatory tomorrow night.

Hello.

- Mornin'.
- Mornin'.

Do you have a... a tow truck around here?

L... My car broke down, and...

I've been walking all night.

Sorry to hear it.

We ain't got no tow truck.

Do you have a phone?

This ain't your day, son.

I'm looking for a town called...

Purgatory?

Purgatory.

Never heard of it.

This old map says that it's...

that way, but,

well, it's not listed on any of the new ones.

Maybe it went down in the earthquake.

No, no. Highly doubtful.

There's no fault line in these parts.

How do you come to know so much?

I sort of make it my business.

I don't suppose you'd want to...

give me a ride?

Nope. Don't reckon so.

I didn't think you would.

Well...

Be seeing ya.

You think they're advertising this place

in some tourist brochure?

There's got to be a logical explanation.

Your wife was nearly raped by a bat,

while you sat downstairs working.

Logical enough?

I told you, Mommy!

It wasn't a bat! It was a vampire!

Do you see?

Do you see what you're
turning your daughter into?

My daughter?

Gwen, why don't you take
your sister upstairs and play?

Okay. Come on.

But, Mommy, I saw a vampire on top of you!

I saw it all!

Do you think we should
take Julie to a physicist?

Psychiatrist, darling. No, Julie is fine.

Aren't you, sweetheart?

You've just been having
some nightmares, that's all.

You've all been watching
too many damn horror films.

Now, I am going to work.

And when I get back,
I don't want to hear any more of this.

All right?

Long time, no see.

Can't say I'd noticed.

I understand you have a problem here.

Yeah.

We got this thing flowing pretty well
at a trickling pace,

but when we try to increase production,
something screws up.

So I suggested we get you
to have a look at your design.

You suggested me?

That's big of you, Shane.

I'm a pretty big guy, Dave.

Well, there are no problems
with my process.

It worked in the lab
and it will work in the factory.

Well, I just followed your instructions.

Apparently not well enough.

Are you suggesting...

Suggesting what?

That you made a mistake?

That Saint Shane, the boy wonder,

the charm school graduate,

might have made a boo-boo?

Boo-boo?

Does it still hurt that I had your wife?

Does it still hurt
that she dumped you for me?

Well, she needed someone
she could push around, a wimp.

- Asshole.
- And she got one.

How is Sarah anyway?

And the kids?

Gwendolyn and Juliet, the youngest.

Let's get to work, Dave.

Sandy, that was so bad.

Just like these burgers.

Looks like you've seen better days.

And nights.

Just coffee, please.

Make it strong?

Sure. Just a sec.

Nice town you have here.

Not the easiest place to find.

Probably why we don't get many strangers.

What might you be doing in Purgatory?

Just traveling, you know,

town to town, job to job.

Nothing to do around here.

Not since the copper mines closed.

Well, my car broke down last night, and...

No one to fix it 'round here.

Best have your coffee and be on your way.

You might be able to hitch a lift
out on the main road.

Don't want to be stuck
in these parts around dark.

I guess not.

Guess not.

Anything else?

You wouldn't happened
to have seen this man?

That's Count Mardulak.

Count Mardulak?

If that's all, I'll be getting your check.

That'll be a dollar.

Well, I'll just be moving along.

On to the next.

Nice meeting you folks.

I saw those looks you were giving him, girl.

What looks?

What looks?

Looks that belong on
a 20-year-old human, not on you.

I am 20.

But you ain't no human.

I only came over six months ago.

And there's no going back.

Tell Nigel to nuke me up some cheeseburgers

for those humans in my jail.

I'm going out on patrol.

Shane, Shane, Shane.

Baby blunder.

You've got the wrong damn
backflow valve on here.

When you step up production,
it shuts down the flow regulator.

Yeah, well, it must've been installed
by the construction crew.

No, I'm afraid not, Shane.
It's your mistake.

You specified it right here.

You're a heck of an engineer, Shane.

Tell me, Dave, does Sarah
still whimper when she comes?

Or does she still come?

Shane, you sad thing.

Oh, yeah.

I used to love to see her on her knees.

I've never been second to anyone, Harrison,

and I sure as hell won't be second to you.

I'll have what I want when I want it.

Get the picture, Boo-Boo?

Special from the Purgatory Cafe:
Cheeseburgers,

and for those of us on diets,
protein drinks.

Damn synthesized blood.

You must be seeing things again.

Why cover it up?

Only two things we can do with 'em:

Kill them or convert them,

like with that Shane Dennis.

Mardulak needed him.

These guys, either way, there's no point

in hiding what we are, ma...

Mort.

Blood? Convert us? What's he talking about?

You've picked a bad spot

for a camping trip.

I'm taking my break.

Fine.

Well, if it isn't Mardulak's favorite dish.

Excuse me, Ethan.

In a bit of a rush, are we?

Careful, girl.

It's getting hot in Purgatory.

You wanna hear about my dream, Gwen?

Another crazy dream.

What happened in this one?

It was a vampires' war and bloody and...

How come you're so weird?

You don't believe anything, do you?

Oh, Julie!

Wow, a secret passage.

Come on.

It's too dark.

Come on.

There's no monsters here.

I think so.

Gwen!

Let's explore.

Wow, a coffin!

Let's look inside.

Very bad idea.

Come on. Just a peek.

Gwen!

Stop being such a coward.

It's a good dare.

Then I'll do it myself.

Monster!

Help me, Julie!

Mommy! Mommy!

Whoa...

- Big monster!
- What? Where?

- In the library?
- Yes!

Calm... What are you talking...

I am Jozek Mardulak, Mrs. Harrison.

I own Purgatory.

I live in the mansion opposite.

I was working in the cellar

when your daughters, well, appeared.

I'm sorry.

Oh, please. No reason to apologize.

There is a secret passage
that goes between the two mansions.

And the little fiends found it, huh?

- How come you were in the coffin?
- Gwen.

I'm sorry. She doesn't...

That's quite all right.

It's very dim down there.

My dear departed mother rests there.

Her last and final request.

Once a week I go down and pay my respects.

I'm afraid I was standing by the coffin

when your beautiful daughters appeared.

They must have thought...

Oh, say no more. I'm so sorry.

You know children.

Yes.

But what would we do without them?

Could I offer you tea or anything?

No, that's quite all right.

I must return to my dear departed mother.

But I'm quite sure we shall meet again.

He came out of the coffin.

Swear it! Right, Julie?

- It was dark.
- Not that dark.

Put a wager on it?

Mom.

Next week's allowance.

We'll go down there right now.

- Is it a bet?
- The whole allowance?

Every penny.

It was dark down there.

And he could have been standing
beside the coffin, right?

- I suppose so.
- Good.

Now I don't want to hear
another word about it, all right?

Mom doesn't play fair.

Wanna go biking?

Yeah. Let's buy some candy, too, okay?

Yeah!

Well, this is certainly
an odd place to meet.

I had to get you out of Purgatory.

Really?

Hi, I'm Sandy White.

My name's Robert Van Hel...

Van what?

Robert Van Hell. That's it.

So now what can you tell me
about the man in the picture?

We can't talk here. Get in.

Looks like we won't ever be tasting
human blood again.

The Hemotechnics plant works like a dream.

Seems Harrison has fixed it,

so mass production won't be a problem.

What's the matter, Bailey?

Don't you like it?

Artificial blood.

I'm never gonna get used to this garbage.

Don't you ever miss warm human blood?

The thrill of sinking your teeth
into young, soft flesh?

Seeing the ecstasy in their eyes

as they give themselves
to us... completely?

You are the last one in Purgatory

to have had a human.

Mardulak picked you.

You lucky bastard.

Tell us, what was it like?

Yeah.

Shane.

There aren't many
young people in Purgatory.

It can be terribly lonely.

Right.

Now, you said that you knew
where I could find this man.

Do we have to talk about that now?

Well, I...

I thought that's why we were here.

And you said that you wanted

to get out of P...

- No! No!
- Too late.

I wasn't going to bite you!

I promise.

I just needed to kiss...
to kiss a man again.

That's a likely story.

Look!

I could take you to Mardulak,
your friend in the picture.

Okay.

Let's go see what that noise is all about.

All right, now, no tricks.

This is holy water.

Come on.

Mysterious doings, Shane.

What is it you're doing, man?

Well, let's see now, Quint,

it'd be work for Jefferson.

Mind if I take a look?

I'm afraid so.

Who are they?

That's Shane Dennis.

- He's the designer of the blood plant.
- The what?

He was human when he got here.

You mean that he's also a...

It was the first try at integrating
people into Purgatory.

It failed.

When he found out, he panicked.

So they turned him into a...

They needed him.

- So how many...
- What?

- Of you...
- Vampires?

Yes, vampires, are there?

The whole town.

Apart from the Harrisons.

And the two in jail.

Now, look, rookie.

If it's a test of strength
you want, you lose.

I have been a vampire 135 years.

I guess you're stronger
and faster than I am.

You're still not gonna see in those crates.

You're a child, man.

You cannot stop me.

You're gonna be in big trouble now, Shane.

Mr. Jefferson, I'm glad you arrived.

Shane here is giving me a lot of trouble.

Do they work?

Just about to find out.

What you gonna do with that?

Shoot me a Rasta vampire.

They work.

Fortified wood.

Splinters on impact.

Shane, you are a genius.

And tonight a hundred more
domesticated abominations will die.

The revolution. I have to warn the others.

The count!

Good idea.

Let's go visit the count.

You don't understand. Things have changed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jefferson sure as hell turned me on.

You can practically
smell the blood from here.

Mardulak's wrong.

Humans and vampires
ain't never gonna coexist.

He told you.

David, look, you were in med school.

I never saw you.

Shane called me and asked me
to dinner one night.

It was one time, David. One night.

And Juliet.

Is she mine?

David, I don't know.

I think she is.

Why can't you just lie to me?

Just swear that you love me
and that it never happened.

I mean, it's bad enough
that you ever slept with him, but...

for you to do it after we were married.

And the way he lords over me.

Shit.

I'm not staying.

It's to hell with it.

The hell with the house,
the hell with the plant,

the hell with everything.

How far to this mansion?

Look out.

Hi.

Hi.

Bye.

Bye.

He was the one in my dream...

the vampire with Mommy.

Come, child.

Tell us about the dream.

Damn, I can taste that
fresh young blood already.

If I got started, I couldn't stop.

Hey, Mort, save some for us!

Know what's going on, don't ya?

Lynch mob?

In a way.

What you're looking at
is a crowd of hungry vampires.

That's right.

Purgatory's a town full of them.

I'm one.

You two ain't.

And that's the problem.

The problem is you're
some kind of psychotic nut.

Alice.

Didn't get these in 7-Eleven.

The problem is there's only two things

can happen to you in Purgatory.

They can kill you,

or they can turn you into a vampire,

like me, like all of us.

Make sure there's enough
to go around, Mort!

Letting us go.

Ain't in the cards.

Don't drain 'em dry, Mort.

Tired of hunting, you said.

Tired of killing.

Tired of the life of a vampire.

Tired, you said. Each one of you.

You, where were you

when I first asked you to join me?

You were crying in the Pyrenees

after having killed a ten-year-old boy.

Mardulak, I...

You, you made your home in the sewers.

You killed winos.

You, farmers' children.

Our lives were full of murder.

That's why I put so much
money into Purgatory.

That's why I invested
in the synthesizing of blood.

A new life, a chance for serenity,

a faint hope that we might finally
make peace with our maker.

I know, it's not going to be easy

to live with mortals.

Not easy to hide our ways from them.

But we must learn to coexist.

We must treat them as equals.

We need them.

And when we have finally got our factory

into mass production, they will need us.

For those of you who wish to defy me,

remember...

I am the greatest of our kind.

If you cannot obey me...

Now go!

Well, I'm convinced.

Let's go, honey.

It was a bad idea to come here
in the first place.

Let's get the girls and let's go home.

We can work it out, but...

not here, not now.

Please?

I love you, Sarah.

I love you, too.

I'm sorry, Mardulak,

but I lost my temper.

I should kill you,

but I'm tired of killing.

Then what?

I can't send you anywhere.

We all have to stay here near the plant

or all this, this town,

my dream of the future, will mean nothing.

The only punishment is death.

No, I think you should stay here
in jail one more night

and then, tomorrow, you can go home.

But if you ever do anything
without my permission again...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

All right. That's enough, Mort.

What about them?

Mardulak, come quick.

The Harrison girls.
One of them had a dream.

You must speak with her.

Are you sure the girls went into town?

Yeah, I think so.

Turn around. They're in that car!

Hold it.

Okay.

There's our way up.

Now, no bat stuff
or anything like that, you hear me?

You know, you're very cute.

No, that would never work.

All right, come on. Come on.

We got work to do.

Up you go.

If I can... just get a...

Okay.

Well...

that wasn't so bad.

What are you gonna do now?

Wait till they get back.

Sorry, I forgot.

Okay. It's okay.

Then, down through the skylight.

And pop!

End to the count's vile reign.

But you don't understand.

Times are changing.

Now don't start all over again with that.

Once a bloodsucker, always a bloodsucker.

You just don't want to listen, do you?

Let go of my daughters.

Hello again.

You know this... this kidnapper?

Of course, darling.

That's our host, Count Mardulak.

He is, is he? You are?

Well, what are you doing with my daughters?

Dad, he just wanted to talk to Julie.

About her dreams.

But come, let's not waste time out here.

I want to hear more.

Really, honey.

And remember,

don't take on bat form unless you have to.

Our strength is in these.

If we get into hand-to-hand combat,

we don't stand a chance.

And aim carefully.

I want the Harrison woman
and the blonde child taken alive.

Some of us will die this night,

but the world of vampires
will remember us as gods,

fighting for the right to hunt humans

as it was always meant to be.

And we will kill for that right.

Death to Mardulak and his traitors.

Anyone care for a drink?

A bourbon perhaps?

- No, thanks.
- Maybe something stronger?

No, thank you.

Sit here, please.

Now, Juliet, tell us about your dream.

It was about a war,

a terrible war between vampires.

And many were killed.

Julie, please.

Mr. Harrison, this is not a joke.

There was a man,
slicked back hair and sideburns.

He was in charge.

- Shane.
- Are we being serious here?

David, can you just listen, please?

He had another man with him.

Grey hair and a white beard.

Jefferson.

There were lots of vampires.

They carried guns.

Guns?

Count Mardulak.

What's the matter?

You afraid to tell them your real name?

Do I know you?

Me? No.

But you may remember my great grandfather,

Van Helsing... Senior.

You mean to tell me that
that sweet, misguided idiot

was your great grandfather?

Yes.

And it's taken me years
to finally trace you here,

to finally fulfill my family's destiny,

to finally...

to finally kill and destroy the...

That's enough.

Sarah, it's time to go.

Everybody is looney tunes around here.

Okay.

Are you ready to die, Count?

You Van Helsings never learn, do you?

Sandy.

What are you doing?

He came here this morning.
He was asking about you.

I kept with him to keep an eye on him,

to see what he was...
to see what he wanted.

But please don't hurt him.

He doesn't mean anything.

He's just confused.

I think perhaps you stayed with him

for other reasons than my safety, no?

Ladies and gentlemen,

what we have here is a vampire
in love with a human.

Better integration than
I could possibly have dreamed.

Count... Count Mardulak?

Will somebody call him by his real... name?

Excuse me a second.

I really think we ought to be going.

The plant is working perfectly.

I'm a big-city type of guy

and it's just been a pleasure meeting you.

Bye, Count. It's been a pleasure.

Move as fast as you can.

- We will.
- We will, thank you.

- Come on, Gwen.
- Bye.

What if they talk?

Do you really think
they believed a word of it?

But this one, on the other hand,

what can we do with him?

You'll have to kill me
before I stop hunting you down

like a filthy fanged fi...

I hear they're letting Mort back tomorrow.

That's good. That's good.

Sounds like trouble.

Better warn Mardulak.

In the heart. I told you.

In the heart!

What the hell are you doing, Jefferson?

Mardulak will...

Move out!

Town full of crazies.

They're not crazies, Daddy,
they're vampires.

Juliet, I don't think your father's
in the mood right now.

- Are we going home, Daddy?
- Yes.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, my goodness.

Quick, follow me.

Anna, quick.

Alice.

Alice, wake up.

Let's go see what's going on.

Alice, smile for me.

- What?
- Smile.

- Go like this.
- No!

While you were sleeping,
I didn't have a choice.

It was either that or kill you.

It's not such a bad life...

death, whatever you want to call it.

What am I going to tell my mother?

- I can't go in public with these things.
- Don't worry.

They only show when you're hungry
or overemotional.

Overemotional?

Keep your mind on one thing, Shane.

Time enough for that later.

Take your children.

Try and make it back to Mardulak.

This is all some sick joke, right?

If you value your life, go now.

- But we...
- David!

Stop being so stubborn. Let's go!

Go! Go!

We're here to set you free.

Free, do you hear me?

This is the only place
you've been free, Jefferson.

You call this freedom?

Just leave us alone.

The plant works now.

Yeah, get out of here.

You've got two choices.

Join us... or die.

Don't make me laugh.

You're the only one with any strength.

There's too many of us.

I could take every one of those punks.

All right, you bottle-suckers,
are you with us or not?

Jefferson's right.

This ain't no life for a vampire.

I'm with you, Jefferson.

Bailey, what are you doing?

We've worked too hard for this.

Nigel, shut up.

Bailey, think about your friends, okay?

Let go of me, Nigel.
The man's talking sense.

- You'd know it if you just listen.
- He's talking dumb.

Take your arm off me

or I'm gonna tear it off of you
and shove it down your throat.

Bailey, please, just listen to some sense.

Come on, ain't nobody else coming with me?

Or are you all a bunch of wimps

like this little candy-assed
artificial bloodsucker?

Don't push it.

What are you gonna do about it?

Anyone else?

Enough.

Guns?

What kind of bullets can kill vampires?

Wooden ones.

Charge!

Shit!

Quick, into the plant!

No.

At last.

Come on! Get up!

Give me a gun! I want a gun!

I'll kill every one of them!

Grab anything wooden.

Mort, find Mardulak.

Our only chance
is to get hold of those guns.

Welcome to the other side.

It has begun.

Shall we break out the crossbows, master?

Yes.

If it's war he wants...

then it's war he'll get.

- Jefferson!
- Good.

That means there'll only
be punks around the back.

Pierre, Pucci, and a few of us
will try and hold him off.

Ramon, go get some firepower.

You bet.

Move, move, move!

Hand over your guns, punks.

It's been nice knowing you.

Get them!

Rico, duck.

Where's the girl?

I don't see the girl!

Forget her, Shane.

I've done my part.

James, get down!

Great. No way out.

Do something!

What? I'm not a young man anymore.

Neat trick, old man.

They came back here.

Easy.

They out there?

Damn! They got away.

Back to the horses.

Come on!

Have they gone yet?

Quiet.

- You okay, David?
- Yeah.

You son of a bitch.

Looking a little sweaty, Dave.

Come on, David.

You've always been a wimp.

All I want is Sarah and my daughter.

Daughter?

What's he mean, Mom?

David!

Shane, let him go!

Put the girls in the car.

Run! Get in the car, girls. Hurry!

I never did like you, Shane.

Why, Ethan?

Your pitiful fear of God.

We are special. We are hunters.

We kill.

We feed on humans.

Like a hundred other parasites.

Like tapeworms. Like fleas.

Like fungus.

That's how special vampires are.

Jefferson...

I have a barrel pointed
straight at your ugly heart.

Tell your pathetic followers
to drop their weapons.

Now!

Do as he says.

Put them down.

Take their ammo. Come on.

- Hurry, hurry!
- Give me that.

Take that ammo.

Come on, let's go. Let's go!

Come on, Jones! Hurry up. Come on!

You feel like going for a ride?

- What?
- Come on, come on!

Go on. Hurry.

- Hold on.
- There you go.

- Hang on tight, Julie.
- Move it.

Move!

After them!

Hurry! Run!

Okay. Wait, wait.

All right, the secret
passageway in the library.

- You remember where it is?
- Yes, Mommy.

- All right, do you remember how to get in?
- Spin the globe.

I want you to go in there
and I want you to find a place to hide.

Don't let anyone see you. Go!

Go! Run! Hurry, run!

Sarah!

Juliet!

Daddy's here.

I know you're here somewhere.

It's only a matter of time.

David! Where are you going?

David, get back!

David!

Let me out! I've got to get across.

It's too late.

Shane!

Come on back. I know a way.

Here, take this.

You wanna play rough, eh?

You said there was another way over.

Mardulak, I'm going to take David
through the passageway.

We've got to stay together.

That's his wife over there.

You've been a vampire too long.

- All right!
- David.

It's holy water.

You may need it.

Come on then.

You can't go with just
a human for protection.

Dan, look after them!

Cover us!

Go!

Isn't it wonderful how the world works

in its mysterious ways?

Whatever will be, will be.

About a year ago, I'm sitting
at home when the phone rings.

It's David.

David, of all assholes.

Some sucker's gone and bought his process.

But he can't go and build it.

He's on another job.

So he asks me...

You were in class together.

You used to be friends.

You're the only other person
who knew anything about that process.

Yeah, he used to bore me
with his bullshit all day.

Anyhow, I go.

Hell, why not?

The money was good.

Cash.

It takes me a while
to figure out the real reason

they need a blood plant.

So then they make me into a vampire.

Voila.

Idea.

Block a valve.

Persuade them. "We need David."

You see, I know he won't go anywhere

without his beautiful wife and kids.

Find out that Jefferson
is planning a revolution.

Even better. Time it perfectly.

And now, you're here on this wild night.

You and my daughter.

I told David about Juliet.

You should have seen his face.

Well, I couldn't get you when I was human.

You still wanted that
half-baked wiener, David.

But now...

now there's nothing you can do to stop me.

I came to visit you the other night.

Remember?

Flap, flap, flap.

Shane, don't.

And now, my dark angel,

take my immortal kiss.

Shane, don't.

Tell me you want me, Sarah.

Tell me you want me, baby.

Shane.

Take me.

Take me.

No! No!

Sarah!

David, up here!

You want to watch him die?

This is personal.

David!

Sarah!

You got about a half a second

to step away from my wife, Shane.

- David.
- You okay?

I'm all right.

Time's up.

In the heart, David.

In the heart.

Stranglers in the night,

exchanging glances.

Lovers at first bite.

Good. Slow, slow.

Ready?

The gun! Throw me the gun!

In the heart, Shane.

In the heart.

Maybe we should see what damage

we can do from this side, ja?

Right.

Will you be okay?

I'll be fine.

Let's go!

Get back to Mardulak.
You don't stand a chance.

- I want to help you!
- It's not your war.

I got an idea.

I told the girls to hide down here.

- Gwen!
- Juliet!

- This is Daddy.
- It's okay.

Come on. You don't have to hide...

No! Girls.

Someone must have stolen Mardulak's mother.

It was empty.

Mommy and Daddy have
to do something, all right?

- Good hiding place?
- The best.

But you can't come out yet.

- Mom.
- McDonald's.

- Big Mac?
- Each.

Deal. Hide.

Stop firing.

Well, now...

look what we got here.

Don't worry, little pretty.

I ain't gonna shoot you.

I'm gonna kill you with my own dirty hands.

And before you die,

you're gonna feel these dirty hands

all over your clean, white body.

What are you gonna do with that?

It ain't gonna rain.

Wood! I need wood!

David!

More wood!

I ran out of bullets.

Stop firing. Stop firing.

Hold your fire!

Mardulak?

I have a friend of yours here.

If you want to see
her pretty face alive again,

throw down your guns.

Do as he says!

Shoot them.

Are you going to simply kill us, Jefferson,

without ever really knowing?

You always said we were the same age.

That you could beat me one on one.

Or was that just some more
of your Jeffersonian bullshit?

Don't push me, Mardulak.

I'm giving you and your pathetic wimps
a chance to die quickly.

Why? Are you afraid?

And this is the man

you're willing to risk eternity for?

All right, Mardulak.

Give me your gun.

Don't worry. She'll be all right.

Back!

You, give him yours.

Vampire to vampire.

Pass me the wood.

Do you mind telling me what you're doing?

We're going up on the roof.

You beat me.

How the hell did you beat me?

Did you really think we were
the same age, pilgrim?

I was getting a little too famous.

I had to change my name.

Change your...

It's not possible.

Don't be so shocked.

Think of it this way.

The last thing you will ever see

will be the face of the greatest vampire

the world has ever known.

It can't be. He died.

He died, I tell you.

Count Dracula.

It's been a pleasure knowing you.

Good-bye, Jefferson.

You should have died all those years ago.

At least you would have died as a god,

not as a traitor to your kind.

Shoot them.

Push! Push!

We have been forgiven.

At last.

We've been forgiven.

My limo will carry you back home.

And, of course, we will fix
and return your car to you.

You sure you don't want me to stay
and help you rebuild your plant?

No, it's not necessary.

Now that we have your blueprints,

I'm sure we can do it fine by ourselves.

That's quite a task.

There are many more of us
out there to be converted.

This town is only the beginning.

Was he telling the truth
about being my daddy?

Julie, don't be silly.

He was a mad person, lying, that's all.

You mean...

Yes. Daddy's your dad.

Dad.

I love you, Daddy.

I love you, sweetheart.

And remember, the past is the past.

We have begun a new life tonight.

Let us hope it is not in vain.

In vein!

L... I kind of like it.

- Let's go home.
- Let's go home.

Let's go. Get in the car.

Quick, quick. Bye.

With... With the...

See, we're vampires.

We got the...